Тёмный

How Toxic Positivity Leads to More Suffering | Mahmoud Khedr | TEDxMenloCollege 

TEDx Talks
Подписаться 42 млн
Просмотров 144 тыс.
50% 1

Mahmoud Khedr, who emigrated from Egypt to New York City as a child, is the co-founder and CEO of FloraMind, a social-impact driven company that partners with schools to provide mental health and well-being programs. He also holds a degree in Social Entrepreneurship at the City College of New York and is a Forbes Under-30 Scholar. But he faced personal crises before success.
At one point, Khedr’s despair was so great that he attempted suicide; in his talk, he showed excerpts of his suicide note. Khedr’s topic: “toxic positivity,” a forced optimism that many in distress are encouraged to adopt, masking their deep depression. Calling out to an audience member in the second row, he said, “Imagine if, God forbid, you broke your arm and instead of taking you to the hospital to treat your pain, I told you.. Just be happy!!” For Mahmoud, that’s toxic positivity. Instead, he posted a list of ways to start constructive discussions with people to show true empathy.
Mental health has increasingly become an important topic of discussion in today’s society. We live in a world where countless things fight for our attention and anxiety can become paralyzing in our success-oriented culture. Mahmoud Khedr shares how toxic positivity causes more suffering than good. Fueled by his own personal struggles and experiences with mental health he built FloriaMind to not only help teenagers academically but most importantly with their personal health and wellbeing.
Mahmoud is a Colin Powell Fellow, Clinton Global Initiative Fellow, Forbes Under 30 Scholar, Stanford University Innovation Fellow and LinkedIn Campus Editor. Mahmoud has previously worked at Facebook, Google, the NYC Mayor’s Office of Tech & Innovation and Echoing Green.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Опубликовано:

 

27 сен 2024

Поделиться:

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист
Посмотреть позже
Комментарии : 616   
@Freebirdshearth
@Freebirdshearth 3 года назад
Insisting others act positively is a way of refusing to be empathetic. It invalidates the person's emotions.
@Keepit-nq3id
@Keepit-nq3id 3 года назад
So true , we can't be empathetic if the only range of emotions we experience is that so called positivity .
@Jazzmynnnn
@Jazzmynnnn 3 года назад
Absolutely, could not have said it any better myself.
@nataliebrett4204
@nataliebrett4204 3 года назад
exactly this
@nogalistanineties9237
@nogalistanineties9237 3 года назад
I know that feeling
@soslothful
@soslothful 2 года назад
It is also away for the "Be positive!" person to evade having to a difficult discussion or situation.
@daniellaiyaramos6869
@daniellaiyaramos6869 4 года назад
Every emotion is valid
@ihavenoname6724
@ihavenoname6724 4 года назад
that's very true
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
100%! Thank you for the comment
@Trylica
@Trylica 4 года назад
absolutely not
@jemstar3388
@jemstar3388 4 года назад
I agree 100 percent.
@JensVanDeAarde
@JensVanDeAarde 4 года назад
Trylica that’s your numbness speaking
@jades.k4340
@jades.k4340 4 года назад
Thank you. Now I know why I feel so horrible and uneasy whenever people's say good vibes only.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
I'm so glad this resonated. Thank YOU.
@pen2009
@pen2009 4 года назад
Yes I get really scared lol
@ScotianLady80
@ScotianLady80 3 года назад
@@mahmoudkhedr2480 this has been an extremely helpful video. I wish my friends could see how dismissive they are of legitimate and real struggles. Thankful you survived to tell us this. Hugs
@ScotianLady80
@ScotianLady80 3 года назад
@@mahmoudkhedr2480 "Love and gaslight" I saw was a funny way to call out the good vibes only crowd. Take good care and thanks again!
@Ross-ve9ww
@Ross-ve9ww 3 года назад
Whenever I get positive comments from people I never believe them no matter who it comes from
@eveharris30
@eveharris30 4 года назад
I like positivity as long as it's realistic.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Me too!
@relicrainbow
@relicrainbow 4 года назад
AMEN.
@SantanaBanana47
@SantanaBanana47 4 года назад
You can be grateful, but don't be delusional.
@soslothful
@soslothful 3 года назад
Everything positively sucks.
@damir3888
@damir3888 3 года назад
remind me on mlm community
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you everyone for your kind words, reflections and responses to my story. I am deeply grateful to have had the opportunity to share my story and for thousands of people across the globe to hear it, and potentially benefit from doing so. :) It’s extremely difficult to unpack mental health, positivity, and wellbeing into a 13-minute talk. I can tell from some of the comments that some people may have misinterpreted my message. I hear your voices and I value your perspective. I always appreciate opposing views and people who point out things that may not resonate with them. I would like to make 2 points in response to some of the comments: 1. This is my lived experience. And only mine! Yours will probably be different! There’s a lot more that I wasn’t able to say, but I want to really hammer the point down that this perspective stems from my lived experience. This is how I experienced struggle, and how I synthesized my experience, pinpointing a value in society that I personally don’t agree with. I’ve seen it resonate with a lot of people, but of course, it will not with everyone! Finding my own solutions to cope, seek help, and heal is something I’m so grateful for. Your lived experience is different, and how you view the world will be different! So when it comes to healing and dealing with your own mental health, of course, it may be different as well. There is no one size fits all solution to mental health, and I hope you find your own way to cope, heal, and flourish!
@ralsumaaji
@ralsumaaji 4 года назад
@Mahmoud Khedr Thank you so much for this talk. I can totally relate to what you said. I used to wonder why my self-hate always got worse every time I had the good vibes only encounter. I was blaming myself for feeling bad or even anything less than good. Thankfully I was able to catch myself before things went south and decided to stop that kind of encounter completely and went to full-blown allowing myself to feel whatever the heck I was feeling instead. And that has been my turning point. I've been so compassionate and loving with myself ever since then, sure self-hate still pop up here and there, but it's been reduced immensely. So again thank you for saying it out loud. It makes me feel that I'm not alone. And I'm not in any way shape or form saying that one way is bad or better compared to another because I also believe that everything is good in moderation. I'm also just sharing what's worked for me based on my own experience. Thank you.
@rumbidzaijaricha7451
@rumbidzaijaricha7451 4 года назад
Powerful life changing my soul needed this...👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Gigiq
@Gigiq 4 года назад
I’m Jordanian and from NY as well...thank you for this
@GnosisDharma
@GnosisDharma 4 года назад
I remember once when I talked to a woman a bit older to me what I feelt, she was like why do you tell me this and try to bring me down. Hmm that was not my intention to do that but it really feelt like she did not care how I feelt. Never really talked to her again after that. And also I have been blamed for what has happened to me and also the law of attraction is very problematic, now many think that everything happening is our own fault. It makes me sad, that because of this I avoid talking to people, it's not supportive I only feel worse.
@Reeceee
@Reeceee 4 года назад
I understand you completely this is my first time again in years trying to find someone I can relate to. We have almost the same story. I can barely get out of the bed in the morning to even care for my son I rarely got out of the bed.
@tammybradshaw5400
@tammybradshaw5400 4 года назад
I see toxic positivity in churches today. So sad! Thank you for this video!🙏
@izzylandyt
@izzylandyt 3 года назад
not surprising
@MilkandCookies92
@MilkandCookies92 2 года назад
THIS! This definitely needs to be talked about way more!!!
@JaysonT1
@JaysonT1 2 года назад
Everything about church is toxic.
@midnightescapades9495
@midnightescapades9495 2 года назад
It seems _really_ disingenuous. I can’t stand fakeness.
@Ne0politan137
@Ne0politan137 Год назад
No duh, its church
@ValkyrissaGaming
@ValkyrissaGaming 4 года назад
If you have problems, you must talk about them. Don't be one of those "love and light, always be positive" people. They tend to be delusional.
@UnioMystica94
@UnioMystica94 4 года назад
We cannot be substantial without a shadow
@izzylandyt
@izzylandyt 3 года назад
narcissists LOVE people who talk too much bout positivity
@danielr3522
@danielr3522 3 года назад
'They tend to be deulsional' - yep, that's the sense I get too. I find them insufferable, quite honestly, I just want to tell them to pull their heads out of their backsides.
@throwaway5926
@throwaway5926 3 года назад
But what can you do when no one listens to understand you, but rather to judge you? What can one do when people don’t care about what you’re going through? What can you do when the world assumes your life is all rainbows and butterflies and therefore your struggles are diminished and treated with indifference? Honestly, when this is your reality, dying seems like a good deal.
@DaskaiserreichNet78
@DaskaiserreichNet78 3 года назад
@@throwaway5926 I have experienced much toxic positivity throughout the decades. Those who don't subscribe to this way of thinking will often find themselves alone in a world of delusional positive people. If there is no one present with any kind of understanding I have always found it helpful to Watch listen to or read the works by someone like Alain De Botton. Or anyone who gets it like Schopenhauer for instance.
@CristalianaIvor
@CristalianaIvor 4 года назад
its like everywhere in life: you need balance. Only negativity is bad, only positivity is bad.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 3 года назад
Yes!
@dapper_slapper4093
@dapper_slapper4093 3 года назад
Agreed but I'll take it further and say what a person needs is to be authentic.
@DaskaiserreichNet78
@DaskaiserreichNet78 3 года назад
@@dapper_slapper4093 True. Some people are dealt an exceptionally bad hand in life. And if such a person is authentic we cannot blame them for becoming pessimistic, and there is nothing wrong with that. After all who is to deny an unfortunate person the freedom to call things out for what they really are.
@irinaivanovic9792
@irinaivanovic9792 2 года назад
@@DaskaiserreichNet78 Thank you! This is exactly what most people do not understand about people who have been dealt as you said, an exceptionally bad hand in life. People usually dismiss this as saying it's THEIR fault they are in this predicament and things keep happening to them, when in reality that is the farthest thing from the truth.
@messiahh420
@messiahh420 2 года назад
They do have balance. They're very negative about people not being like them.
@ソトヤママリアテレサ
@ソトヤママリアテレサ 4 года назад
Toxic Positivity is only to make those around you or with you feel comfortable. Toxic positivity has nothing to do with truly helping you. This is an excellent and important talk.
@eileenkenney
@eileenkenney 3 года назад
I cried hearing him say "all vibes welcome" at the end. I found out my husband had cheated on me throughout our entire marriage, and then he became distant and wouldn't console me when I went into a depression over it. He wouldn't engage in conversation with me, saying I wanted him to feel guilty and I was "taking his light away". He couldn't show any empathy for the pain he caused me and wanted me to just forget about it and not talk about it. It's been over 2 years and I'm still healing from all the trauma he caused me. When people are in pain, they just need to be acknowledged and heard. That is the path to healing.
@cincocats320
@cincocats320 3 года назад
He went beyond toxic positivity. He was gaslighting you...being emotionally manipulative in order to validate his own horrible behavior. I hope you are continuing to heal.
@willbephore6178
@willbephore6178 2 года назад
I am so sorry this happened to you, it sounds "crazy making" in the extreme! I hope you're able to be surrounded by people who care, and are also able to see and hear and be present with you and all of your experience.
@emmaapollo5818
@emmaapollo5818 2 года назад
I hear you. Been there. Stay strong, sister.
@mskharrington26
@mskharrington26 2 года назад
I hope you left that relationship. You deserve so much better. You have to know your self worth ❤
@midnightescapades9495
@midnightescapades9495 2 года назад
I’m sorry you went through a relationship with someone who abused you and violated your trust. Emotional abuse is just as painful as physical. He will pay for it someday. People tend to write off our experiences of dying as just “dying,” but our souls still will repay. 100%, he will.
@IONov990
@IONov990 3 года назад
I think one of the best things I learned from therapy was that emotions are information or data.
@Beeoog
@Beeoog 3 года назад
EVERY SINGLE EMOTION HAS A FUNCTION
@Mrskess
@Mrskess 4 года назад
I used say the same things to myself” stay positive, be positive, positive vibes only”. It made me feel worse as I just couldn’t be and stay positive. Now, When I go through difficult time. I say to myself that I will get through it, I acknowledge the difficulties and allow myself to feel sad, not feel positive but also at the end I remind myself that I will get though it. It helps me.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
I love it! Thank you for sharing that!!
@maddart4445
@maddart4445 4 года назад
I tell me this to shall pass
@starkey8512
@starkey8512 3 года назад
Yea imagine telling god or the " universe " thank you. Im so happy and positive i was born with cancer " ill ignore the very fact how un fair it is how i will be dead soon meanwhile creepy Biden is destroying a nation. But its ok universe reward him with a healthy positive manifestation hahahah
@Mrskess
@Mrskess 3 года назад
@@starkey8512 I don’t know what it’s like being diagnosed and living with cancer. I can only imagine. But I don’t think I can know what it actually truly is like. But I do know what it’s like living a life being abused for 15 years and now living with chronic pain condition. I believe there are way of healing for everything. There are people even who have healed and recovered cancer. I don’t trust pharmaceuticals at all, and believe in natural remedies and what’s given to us by nature. This is what’s helping me with my Condition. There are lots of resources can be found.
@upbestsalt1551
@upbestsalt1551 2 года назад
Yeah. I regret believing those people when they told me "be positive " it made an huge impact on my mental health and it really damaged me. I honestly don't know who to believe anymore. I don't know if I can even trust my mom coz she will say the same thing too like everyone has said to me.
@blancarosasmusica
@blancarosasmusica 4 года назад
It's such a stressful society, what helps me is taking a vacation, just getting away. I make it a point in my life to destress myself.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
I hear you, Blanca. Glad vacations help. I can't wait to be able to go on one after all this is over... God willing!
@soslothful
@soslothful 4 года назад
My job offers PTO. I save it up and take a staycation* of four or five days perhaps every three months. *This is my only concession to corporate speak. The rest is vapid rubbish which I cringe to hear.
@angelinarobert622
@angelinarobert622 3 года назад
Try Vedic Meditation and CE-5 Meditation to relax.
@Bryant721
@Bryant721 4 года назад
Always. There is no need to block off our negative thoughts or lie to ourselves to be positive. Acknowledgement within ourselves and not being dismissive of others less pleasant thoughts goes a long way. Very well articulated, you did good brother!
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you so much! I appreciate you!
@nursevibe
@nursevibe 4 года назад
"All vibes Welcomed"
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
:)
@Brentt777
@Brentt777 3 года назад
Not when they ignore reality.
@lukehall8151
@lukehall8151 3 года назад
what true heads say: you ain't a sailor if you can only handle calm seas
@MelinavanderWerf
@MelinavanderWerf 4 года назад
"good vibes only" kind of people downvoted this video :D Jokes aside though this was a very helpful talk, I wish more "positive" people could try to understand that telling someone who is going through a hard time they should be thankful, is not only not helpful but straight up damaging even further.
@fionama1270
@fionama1270 3 года назад
This makes me cry. I once told a guys I liked about my bad day and my eating disorder, he said ‘ good vibes only’ that moment my heart broke
@tamtrinh174
@tamtrinh174 3 года назад
smack them the next time they open their mouth
@anarcho-communist11
@anarcho-communist11 Год назад
Then when people k1ll themselves, it's,"Why didn't they tell someone what they were going through?"
@AlisonGrossTheWitch
@AlisonGrossTheWitch 4 года назад
Thank you so much for posting this. As someone with depression our culture of toxic positivity makes it so much worse. This message needs to be heard. This meant a lot to me.
@samhhaincat2703
@samhhaincat2703 Год назад
And I've found that it actually makes my sadness and depression *worse* because I'm trying to *prove* to people that thinking positive doesn't work for me and never will because they wouldn't LISTEN TO ME.
@amandarecoveryjones8216
@amandarecoveryjones8216 4 года назад
Yup. Toxic positivity will keep you in a jacked up relationship too. Be smart. I'm starting over again and being realistic this time...... Thanks for your speech
@Astralintroverted
@Astralintroverted 4 года назад
Wow!! Really I thought only I felt awkward and frustrating when people were trying to counsel me to be positive which lead me into depression, panic attacks. It's ok to get through each emotion step by step n not bombard with positivity vibes.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Yup! We've got to start educating others about how their language impacts us. Even though people are generally well-intentioned, they may not know that they are harming us if we don't tell them. I hope we have the courage to have more of these conversations.
@lizzit7918
@lizzit7918 4 года назад
You are definitely not the only one ♥️
@aybaybay5432
@aybaybay5432 3 года назад
I actually hate when people tell me to be grateful. They don’t know my pain.
@Astralintroverted
@Astralintroverted 3 года назад
@@aybaybay5432 so true.. we know what hardships we are going through and yes it's tough...
@lolucorn1
@lolucorn1 3 года назад
I feel terrible because I pretty much actively turn down positivity because I feel the people who try to get me to do it are crazy, but it definitely made me worse until I admitted i wanted to die accidently.
@CarlynOT-Coach
@CarlynOT-Coach 3 года назад
So, so, so true! I am a therapist and a coach and I find it hard to hear the level of experiential avoidance encouraged in pop culture and in the coaching space. I feel like a rebel when I stand up and tell people to feel all their feelings and not turn away from the difficult thoughts and feelings. I'm fairly sure I'll lose people over saying so but it's so important to get the message out about the stuff that really works to improve people's wellbeing in the long run. Thanks for spreading this message to millions of people!
@vjs0902
@vjs0902 4 года назад
I am so happy that I just learned about Toxic Positivity. Yes All Vibes Welcome!! I just lost a friendship that wasn't good because now I realize that this person had toxic positivity. All I wanted to hear was I am your friend and I care. I got nothing during. Hurt. Be he is so right. People that say all good vibes all positive vibes even myself are hurting. You have to address the mental issue. I have seeing Therapist and getting closer to my faith. Like he said you broke your arm just be happy. Doesn't work that way. Blessing Mahmoud this is just what I needed. I thought I was toxic, but actually I was addressing my truth.
@lemsip207
@lemsip207 4 года назад
I've had friends who exhibited toxic positivity. I wasn't allowed a bad mood in front of them no matter what had happened to me. But I wasn't also allowed to exhibit positive emotions in front of them such as excitement and awe. Toxic positivity leads to naivety and being gullible. While pessimism leads to inaction as you see no point in making an effort optimism also leads to inaction as you think nothing needs to be done to achieve a desired outcome.
@babybug6462
@babybug6462 3 года назад
My friend Taylor has panic attacks. I told her I knew what she felt because I had them too when I was younger. It feels like pure fear. The fear you experience when you know you're about to die. All you want to do is go home and pray to God it will go away. I remember one panic attack she had at our campsite. I believed she was only doing it for attention by how frequent it was. I never knew what it really felt until I experienced it myself later on. I never told her in person, but in my mind I dismissed her thinking she was overreacting. She told me thank God that someone knew what it felt like because many people only dismissed her and wouldn't acknowledge it. Later on, while I was talking on the phone, I told her how awful it is in California. And I couldn't wait to move back in two weeks. After the phone call, my parents told me I would drive her away with my negativity and that I should only talk good vibes. I'm a genuine person. I love listening to problems and speak my mind. I don't think anyone is human if all you feel is happiness.
@roderickcortez138
@roderickcortez138 2 года назад
I had a friend that I confided in. I told her that I had really bad depression and struggled with the thought of suicide. She laughed and starting calling me "emo boy". I quit talking to her.
@raphaellavelasquez8144
@raphaellavelasquez8144 4 года назад
I recovered from mental illness in NYC in the eighties. Then I moved upstate to a community with good family values and positivity. Took 30 years to figure out what happened to my mental health. In NYC it was okay to say you came from a hellish background. It was okay to say something really sucks.
@quintessiagreen4604
@quintessiagreen4604 Год назад
I’m from NYC but moved to the south and the suburbs. Went back to visit a few months ago and literally asked my mom “you actually let me born here” 😂 there’s so much beauty and creativity but to live there would wreck my mentality I know it.
@bekaht9185
@bekaht9185 2 года назад
Love this so much. I grew up in a household where negative emotions were constantly silenced and I never understood why I would have relationship problems and I would often lash out in anger even though I was trying to "just be positive". I am now allowing myself time to work through all my emotions and it is the most liberated I've ever felt.
@nataneskaton
@nataneskaton 4 года назад
Exactly...The "positive" facade. That's right what it is. You can't have left without right, up without down, and none of us can be positive all of the damned time. You and I have got to discuss and talk about the negative stuff too. It's a balance of contradictions that we have to deal with.
@Keepit-nq3id
@Keepit-nq3id 3 года назад
Exactly 👍🏻 , we won't be able to appreciate the positivity if we don't experience the negativity
@nataneskaton
@nataneskaton 3 года назад
@@Keepit-nq3id Well said, everything is a contradiction, just like my channel here...SBN RESONATE
@irinaivanovic9792
@irinaivanovic9792 2 года назад
I will never forget one day while I was in a long term relationship of 5 years unknowingly with a narcissist. I had been raising a couple of beautiful finches and I was very attached to them. One of them died suddenly and I was heartbroken. I told this to my then-boyfriend, (the narcissist), and he said I ruined his day and said this to me over the phone: "I only want to talk and be around happy people today." He hung up the phone on me. I cried afterwards in grief over my poor little bird and the fact that this person who supposedly loves me just didn't give a damn whatsoever about my feelings. To this day I am sick to my stomach that I ever dated him and put up with all of his BS. Love is truly BLIND for some of us.
@runningwithscissors1564
@runningwithscissors1564 2 года назад
I can relate. I had someone up and leave me because I “bummed him out” over a cancer scare that I had. Even when it turned out to not be cancer, he said he couldn’t handle me. He even went as far to say that I was a burden to people because of the way I behaved. Sheesh…
@gardendormouse6479
@gardendormouse6479 Год назад
That's abuse. I had a boyfriend who behaved similarly.
@kardinalempress
@kardinalempress 4 года назад
I've been using this term for years! Thanks for your talk, more people need to realise how damaging toxic positivity can be!
@sugarmouse6061
@sugarmouse6061 3 года назад
As someone with a chronic, painful, degenerative illness I am so sick of toxic positivity. Even people who know this "helpfully" tell me they hope I get better soon. It could be worse etc. Doctors are sometimes the worst. I see this as a form of victim blaming. If you have a better attitude then you will feel less pain. Ahhhhhh! 😠
@rufuscross3884
@rufuscross3884 Год назад
i have diabetes and people always try to tell me how to feel😡….i hate when people tell others how to deal with things that they have never experienced. I hope you are doing okay.
@Italiangirlnj747
@Italiangirlnj747 Год назад
Ik bs
@Italiangirlnj747
@Italiangirlnj747 Год назад
​@@rufuscross3884 I agree
@Burning_Babylon
@Burning_Babylon 4 месяца назад
Validation of reality is positive. These ppl are negative and selfish because they refuse to validate. Validate and Calibrate sound similar. It's balance
@bluesolace9052
@bluesolace9052 4 года назад
Amazing. Thank you so much. I grew up around people who enforced others to keep up toxic “positivity” and I felt so alienated when I was growing sick of it. Yet, I did not know anyone who spoke out about it or was even aware it was potentially harmful in the long term. I agree with when you said there is a grey line because I felt the only options were for me to be 100% stable and happy all the time or a complete depressed psychopath, which are unrealistic expectations. Things are more complex than that. So, again, thank you and I hope this video gets a lot more views in the future
@angelinarobert622
@angelinarobert622 3 года назад
When people pass down Toxic Positivity and invalidating people's emotions it becomes a culture. "All emotions are valid." And need to recognized as such. "Every emotion serves a purpose." However, some emotions are not appropriate for modern times. My ancestors were vikings. And it would have serious repercussions if i were battle axe my boss's head off over a work dispute. if i had a job that is. Please stay Covid-19 free and watch out for Covid-21 it's breaking out in China. Prepare for the next wave. Peace ☮️.
@bluesolace9052
@bluesolace9052 3 года назад
@@angelinarobert622 Oh yeah totally interesting point to bring up. Not every emotion should dictate one’s actions, but rather should at least be acknowledged and known how to be dealt with rather than bury it and ignore it all the time.
@rdhulljr
@rdhulljr 3 года назад
Fantastic Mahmoud! Beautiful presentation. And spot on, in the era of social media when so many people seem to be advertising their “perfect” life online.
@pluviophile1988
@pluviophile1988 4 года назад
I hate how society is nowadays. All the time I'm on Facebook or whatever, everything is happy happy happy bright bright bright positive positive positive!!!! And if it's not, it gets treated like it has leprosy. I HATE the world today. I want to go back to like 2003 when people were cynical, sarcastic, critical, real, deep, smarter, darker, accepting and encouraging to be different and think critically..... All those traits are GONE and NOT allowed. It is killing me.
@santanacaipirinha9536
@santanacaipirinha9536 2 года назад
Not just "it", YOU get treated like you have leprosy if you're anything other than hysterically cheerful. You end up having to debate whether you should really keep hiding how unhappy you are for fear of being ostracized for your "negative energy" or just go it alone and not have to fake anything.
@Burning_Babylon
@Burning_Babylon 4 месяца назад
Your choice to be on that site and not replace it w walking outside and bettering yourself. Nothing social about social media
@pluviophile1988
@pluviophile1988 4 месяца назад
I made an alt account where I can be myself so fortunately this is not the case anymore
@alexreid7386
@alexreid7386 4 года назад
I find that trying to be positive really does help when I'm upset. But that's with the understanding that if I don't manage to get rid of the negative feelings completely, that's normal and completely allowed. A well made speech! :)
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
@SantanaBanana47
@SantanaBanana47 4 года назад
It's good to be grateful, but not delusional.
@starkey8512
@starkey8512 3 года назад
@@SantanaBanana47 Thats the issue, lol all LOA weirdos ARE ALL delsional.
@samhhaincat2703
@samhhaincat2703 Год назад
And that's great. But the problem comes from assuming it'll help EVERYONE so I hope you never do this. For me, I get EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at even thinking about this, even reading your comment was triggering to me.
@literarymary121
@literarymary121 2 года назад
I can relate 1 million times to what you say. It does hurt so bad when your dying inside and someone trivializes it by saying just be positive. As if I choose depression.
@tempesttossed6029
@tempesttossed6029 4 года назад
I like the "i dont know what to say, but im glad you came to me and told me this" comment. I am the shoulder for people to cry on for much of my life and have become burnt out on empathizing with others. Sometimes i would rather tell people to leave me be and talk to a therapist. But then if i say "i am going through something right now, i can't be what you need me to be," i am rude and uncaring. There seems to be no middle road answer
@emilymiller5045
@emilymiller5045 3 года назад
That should be a reasonable answer. It's impossible to give what you don't have. By pretending to have the emotional and mental energy for the darkness others are struggling with, a person can really hurt both themselves and the people they intended to help. If you truly can't help someone yourself then you can't help someone yourself, whether that be because of burnout, personal issues, or a general inability to handle other people's emotions in a helpful way. These are difficult conversations to have but they need to happen. You could help people by directing them to someone who's well equipped to help the person in need. But if you can't do that either then you can't do that either. No one can be equipped to handle any situation thrown at them. You probably know this anyway but I just felt the need to say it anyway.
@thousandyardgavri2785
@thousandyardgavri2785 4 года назад
What I understood in toxic positivity is to question myself if I ever say positive things, is it real or is it just blocking an emotion?
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
100%!
@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010
@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010 2 года назад
when people say "i dont need that negative energy around me" or "cheer up" or "you're fine" or "just look at the bright side" or "why are you so negative" or "just be happy for me, just because youre doing bad, doesnt mean you need to dampen my mood. youre responsible for your own happiness" it really makes you just more cynical and circulates the negative energy even more. the last one is definitely valid in some cases, when someone is purposely making their struggles a competition and not allowing someone to feel happy, but at the same time, true happiness also depends on how real and genuine the support around you is. its not like comparing positive and negative experiences is only detrimental to the person who is experiencing the positive feelings. if positive vibes exist in everyone, then negative ones do too. if happiness is so easily curated within the self, then that means it can easily be a mask for something deeper, whether its insecurities or suppressing negativity. my teacher mentor kept telling me to "cheer up" everyday when i was struggling, and when she came to me one day and criticised my engagement with the kids, i snapped. i took the day off the next day with full blown panic attacks constantly keeping me awake at night. she felt soooo guilty for it, and on monday, she apologized and talked through it with me, actually acknowledging my pains and struggle with anxiety. i really appreciated it, because no one has ever done that before. she didnt let the negativity circulate and grow anymore, she acknowledged it and empathized, and it made me finally able to move on. i compare this to how my mom would ignore my panic attacks and constantly attack me with her toxic positivity and anticonflict attitude. it was an insane breath of fresh air.
@midnightescapades9495
@midnightescapades9495 2 года назад
You felt a genuine connection. It takes a genuine person to build that (two genuine people, at least).
@anweshamandal2181
@anweshamandal2181 3 года назад
Thank you for this. It really hurts when you are forced to live in denial and are called a brat. I understand. It's always important to acknowledge our own emotions. At least one should be true to oneself. Understanding oneself and caring for oneself is very important.
@colin4215
@colin4215 3 года назад
We cannot experience real positive emotions unless we know what sadness, grief and anger feels like. All emotional states whether positive or negative make up the human condition, so only focusing on positivity inhibits our mental state to acknowledge the struggles which lead to recovery!
@CrowPlaysHD
@CrowPlaysHD 4 года назад
This deserves millions of views, not it is even necessary!
@sandrajanzen2597
@sandrajanzen2597 4 года назад
This should have millions of views! I guess the "Positivity Patrol" think it is negative to watch a video with contrary views.
@soslothful
@soslothful 3 года назад
Have you ever paused in your work day and said to yourself, "I hate my life."?
@adronung1892
@adronung1892 3 года назад
Regularly
@soslothful
@soslothful 3 года назад
@@adronung1892 During my work day I often close my eyes and imagine taking a reeking dump on a customer's face. A reeking dump so foul and putrid it would pollute the three worlds, causing people, gods and demons to choke.
@tristanhartup4936
@tristanhartup4936 3 года назад
Yeah
@jmaldo92
@jmaldo92 3 года назад
Like every day lol
@soslothful
@soslothful 3 года назад
@@jmaldo92 What is your job?
@august1837
@august1837 3 года назад
This really resonates with me. I consider myself a fairly positive person. But toxic positivity made me suppress so many emotions that it now takes a real shock for me to be able to cry. I’m blind, and that has caused me to feel really isolated in school. I’ve never had real friends, and even though that doesn’t really bother me any more, it just really sucks sometimes. My mom has this be positive mentality. When I cry, she tells me to be strong. I’m in my school orchestra and sometimes I couldn’t play with the group for no other reason than being blind, and it just hurts, and I’m supposed to be strong. My mom is very supportive at a surface level, but I can never have an emotional conversation with her. I don’t remember her saying any of the phrases you mentioned, and even if she does, a minute later she tells me to be strong. This might not really fall into the idea of toxic positivity, but my mom also has the fixer mentality. School is lately causing my mental health to spiral down hill, and she keeps telling me that there’s always a solution. I don’t know how to tell her that mental health doesn’t work this way. I can’t talk to her about emotions, because she only wants to fix. She never truly listens. I feel really ungrateful saying this because she is supportive. She just doesn’t know how to listen. It just feels so unbelievably good when someone says one of the things you mentioned at the end. Thanks a lot for this talk
@jessegoplen
@jessegoplen 4 года назад
I was at a taping of Hardball with Chris Matthews when Ralph Nader was on in 2000. They said people could ask questions if they lined up, which they did. Right before the show starts, they bring in ringers to put at the front of the line to make Nader supporters look like idiots. Brought them right to the front of the line. I stood up and yelled out, they're choosing who gets to ask questions, don't let them get away with it. This was right after a Nader rally in Madison, Wisconsin, and everyone in the audience practically had come directly from the rally up State St to the Orpheum. Immediately, some guy up in the balcony yells back at me, "Keep it positive, bro," and the whole audience started clapping at the fact he shouted me down. And these are the "radicals."
@arizonasucculent8632
@arizonasucculent8632 2 года назад
Inside out the movie is an amazing example of toxic positivity. Where happiness is always perceived as a great thing, while Sadness and depression is seen as bad.
@samhhaincat2703
@samhhaincat2703 Год назад
I left a support group because when I explained to them how debilitating depression was, they said "you sure seem to say 'can't' a lot" and that I should put "positive affirmations around my mirror". I got EXTREMELY ANGRY and started shaking and crying.
@54hitpoints19
@54hitpoints19 4 года назад
I definitely know firsthand myself. I felt very guilty and ashamed for feeling everything that wasn't just happy thoughts 100 percent of the time. The other emotions are all part of the same equation. It's a matter of balancing them out together and not pretending they don't exist.
@untitled8007
@untitled8007 4 года назад
wiah. this helped me a lot. it actually is SUCH good advice. thanks man
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you, so glad to hear that! :)
@alinecardoso9668
@alinecardoso9668 3 года назад
To me your message was beautiful and extremely important, I too sick of hearing toxic positivity.
@olliviermae
@olliviermae 4 года назад
I’ve been saying this for years! Good job!
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you Kelly! :) It takes all of us for a movement to happen. Please continue speaking your truth for years to come.
@olliviermae
@olliviermae 4 года назад
Mahmoud Khedr ❤️
@VijetaDahiya
@VijetaDahiya 4 года назад
@@mahmoudkhedr2480 Wonderful talk. Empathy and not sympathy, slight difference in spelling, but huge difference in meaning.
@zoltan6563
@zoltan6563 4 года назад
honest, thought provoking, thanks for sharing your experience. Keep going man, excited to see what you do next!
@handritobonito7325
@handritobonito7325 Год назад
I hate people who ignore the pain of others, just saying ‘stay positive’ 🙄 so annoying, always leave that people and don’t be friends with them, they really don’t care about you.
@prettyath
@prettyath Год назад
I think the more we express our feelings and process it the less we hide it inside that negativity and suffocating energy so I really liked this ted talk cause i really hate toxic positivity and how people invalidate our feelings because someone “supposedly” is going through worse
@OK.156
@OK.156 Год назад
I used to work part time at my school, and this is exactly what happened to me, I was an introvert and talking to people was a requirement. When I was talking to people I try to keep a good conversation going but I always hide my feelings and just act like we are just conversing. I always felt stressed after going home and I actually didn't know why, I always went home and said. I should have said this differently to make him feel good. I should have a more positive attitude. I was always apathetic and never consider my own feelings. Currently I been trying to open up more and been improving in not only conversation but also mentally. Good luck everyone.
@YashSharma-zz4bf
@YashSharma-zz4bf 4 года назад
Gave me alot to think about
@bitario723
@bitario723 4 года назад
There are so many cliches that are lies. For example, you can do anything you put your mind to. BS. No way that should be preached. That only sets someone up for great disappointment when their goal isn't achieved. What should be taught is that there are no guarantees in life, but you have to give it your very best effort in order to best achieve your goals. Also, passionate goals aren't passionate if it causes stress along the way. It should be fun, without pressure, and without expectations.
@reinaldosanguino
@reinaldosanguino 4 года назад
Breathe, stay in the moment and remember nothing is permanent
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
100%
@soslothful
@soslothful 4 года назад
This seems to contradict the talk. A person in true, deep suffering, say an abused or starving child, is not help by breathing. The moment is what he needs to escape. And some things, like terminal cancer and death, are quite permanent.
@devlevine2782
@devlevine2782 3 года назад
You live an enchanted life. Lucky you
@Freebirdshearth
@Freebirdshearth 3 года назад
@@soslothful You are so right. That's why it's called TOXIC positivity. We need to face suffering and do what we can to alleviate it. I feel like positivity is just people with their fingers in their ears shouting LALALALA.
@brittneyf4041
@brittneyf4041 4 года назад
Wow serious life takeaways here! Thanks for sharing your experience and truly helping others🙂
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thanks so much Brittney. Glad it resonated. :)
@sandrashin9502
@sandrashin9502 4 года назад
All emotions, good and bad, each has its purpose to serve us as a complete human being. And to avoid any of them it is to avoid a part of our true being.
@WhoIsModernDoll
@WhoIsModernDoll Год назад
Thank you! 🤍
@chrischristopherson9251
@chrischristopherson9251 3 года назад
This is deep. Be aware of your mental health even more than your physical. More people suffer mentally than any other cause of disability.
@plutoplatters
@plutoplatters 2 года назад
Positivity ignores about 80% of what really happens in "life". Period.
@littleflower115
@littleflower115 3 года назад
No to forced happiness 😤 / Yes to Authenticity 💐 Some people really think that “happiness” is the only mood we should stay in. It’s not true. We are human beings and real life is harsh. Cute quote from the movie The Wind Rises: “The wind is rising, we must try to live.”
@bruceausbrooks8924
@bruceausbrooks8924 2 года назад
Facts
@tinamoney1
@tinamoney1 4 года назад
king im crying. you nailed it.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Appreciate you!
@janette499
@janette499 4 года назад
love this talk ❤personally I've learned that you have to let yourself sink in to your feelings and feel ok with not feeling ok sometimes ( or all the time ) and that it's not about trying to suppress negativity and force positivity it's about letting yourself be whatever you are but also welcome positivity. like a diet , it's not about shoving out bad foods of your diet but about welcoming good foods and letting the good push out the bad by itself if that makes sense ?
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Makes a lot of sense, love your analogy Janette. Thanks for your comment :)
@Brandaniron
@Brandaniron 3 года назад
This is a huge problem. It’s infecting “churches” and I use that term loosely. It’s a denial of truth and reality. Well done.
@mmmsunshine5367
@mmmsunshine5367 2 года назад
Very loosely......
@thomasreynolds7251
@thomasreynolds7251 4 года назад
Love this! However, this has been the ethos of the past several years and has led to rampant narcissism and tremendous egocentricity. This emanates from boutique/material spiritualism.
@thebrightestrainbowever3841
@thebrightestrainbowever3841 3 года назад
This was so good and profound. I am so glad to see more people are talking about how harmful it can be. What a wonderful TedTalk!! Thank you!
@leichin5778
@leichin5778 4 года назад
This is GOLD
@RemmyHun
@RemmyHun Год назад
I started watching this video because I kept hearing the words "toxic positivity", first from my older sister and then here and there through various inputs.. no one really explaining it in a way that was making sense to me. It wasn't until about 4:40 seconds in, when he says, "being positive as I'd come to understand it, meant completely avoiding the problem and focusing only on the good" it clicked in my mind the "reality" of this happening being called "toxic positivity" -- thanks for sharing! Totally makes more sense now! I don't think I need to listen anymore. xD
@SommerSen
@SommerSen 4 года назад
One of the most underrated talks. Negativity is a mayor issue too, and screaming that were doomed to everything isn´t better.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you! I totally agree with you - we have to find a balance between the two. Complaining and being negative all the time is not the solution either.
@CosmicGamer97
@CosmicGamer97 4 года назад
Wow I just realized I'm like this thank God I watched this video so I can change my ways
@edwarddorville9973
@edwarddorville9973 4 года назад
Thank you 🙏.
@teeb2681
@teeb2681 3 года назад
I'm a realist and an overcomer simply by doing my very best. Not necessarily winning or happy 24/7 but simply authentic and hopeful.
@miniharez
@miniharez Месяц назад
this is so true. But I also get why people, including myself show toxic positivity because when you’re used to suffering, mentally, if you’re empathetic or highly sensitive, you start absorbing someone’s negative emotions and then that just attacks onto your suffering, thinking about their suffering, and it feels like, a defense mechanism to automatically try to just think positive. But bringing this term to the surface is very important. This is helping me become more aware!
@vanessavergara3047
@vanessavergara3047 3 года назад
authentic positivity 🍵if not just leave
@irinaivanovic9792
@irinaivanovic9792 2 года назад
One of the best, most helpful TedTalks I've ever heard.
@rkstarrushabh9713
@rkstarrushabh9713 4 года назад
😭 thanks for this video love this guy 😻
@aishadebique9201
@aishadebique9201 4 года назад
Heartfelt!Well done!!!
@aram5642
@aram5642 3 года назад
What a wonderful thing that you gave this talk Mahmoud! False positivity creeps into our lives unnoticed, yet it has an immense affect on how you feel. Every single time I hear someone at a workplace say "come out of your comfort zone" I feel like someone's reaching out for a gun to kill me (and some other ppl ofc).
@j.e.albert230
@j.e.albert230 Год назад
It’s a real problem. Thanks for speaking up.
@jhonnyhareton9135
@jhonnyhareton9135 2 года назад
Thank you for sharing your story Mahmoud
@muhammadsiddiqui2244
@muhammadsiddiqui2244 3 года назад
Negativity says the glass is half empty, positivity says the glass is half filled, toxic positivity says that glass is fully filled.
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386 3 года назад
Lol and as someone else once said in response to that scenario.. " so I drank the water and told them i was a problem solver". x
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386 3 года назад
Edit.. that scenario answer was originally to do with half full or half empty .. but i guess it works just as well with falsely filled
@WerewolfLord
@WerewolfLord 3 года назад
More like (from what I've seen) toxic positivity shames you into saying that the glass is full and overflowing, even when it is bone dry empty.
@WebinarPerson
@WebinarPerson 4 года назад
Thanks from Israel ✌️😎
@decoderr
@decoderr 4 года назад
Very important insight, thank you, Mr. Khedr!
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Thank you!
@angelinarobert622
@angelinarobert622 3 года назад
i have never felt like such a failure after i failed at ending my life when i was 12 years old then. i'm 43 years old now and wiser and much more stable.. Thank you for addressing the issue of toxic positivity. Toxic positivity plagued Facebook a few years. Because of the Toxic Positivity and a Cyber Stalker i do not use Facebook anymore. it's people who are nauseatingly positive to me to make themselves more comfortable is Toxic. Toxic Positivity annoys me and agitates me. Those who say "My blood type is B positive!!! Yay!!!" i'm like "Well my blood type is oh negative or O-. Technically i would be a universal donor, if it weren't for a Mitochondrial Disease, i would donate my blood and save a life for anyone but due to my chronic, progressive, disabilitating, fatal genetic disease with no cure in sight ." Thank you for thanking your mother. i'm sure she appreciates your appreciation. it was an honorable thing to do. May inner peace be with you.☮️over 75% dark cacao and a little carbohydrates + an enzyme turns into serotonin. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter/hormone of feeling social respected. Serotonin is not "happiness"…PsychologyToday.com.
@LissaNylon
@LissaNylon 4 года назад
All vibes welcome 💕
@VideoCesar07
@VideoCesar07 2 года назад
I like that I keep finding videos like this. You cannot truly enjoy the good things if your are always finding the silver lining in the bad things in your life. It just throws your emotions out of balance. All you do you really become less resilient and mentally capable of coping with adversity. You learn to handle adversity and tragedy by accepting and processing your emotions and then you hopefully learn from it and become a stronger person. I totally get where he is coming from because my parents did the same thing of "think about other people who are worse off than you" which to me is just a way of saying "who cares about your problems?"
@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611
@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611 3 года назад
Positivity?! I've rarely felt that. All that is permanent is sadness, happiness has never been truly prevalent in my life. And that's why fake toxicity influenced me to ignore confronting that sadness, just because I didn't wanna feel it. I hope I can just release all my emotions all at once. That's why I wanna be alone forever, because external disturbances only cause me further pain, rather than heal me. I can have casual relationships (only friends), but I feel that I can't invest myself completely in any friendship because it always ends in hurt and disappointment.
@isabellamichel3562
@isabellamichel3562 4 года назад
Thank you, Mahmud. You’re amazing
@user-di7tg7qf6u
@user-di7tg7qf6u 7 месяцев назад
It’s okay to not be okay
@bananabro8113
@bananabro8113 10 месяцев назад
Thank you thank you thank you for this TED talk! If you knew how much I can relate to your story....Invalidating people's emotions, shaming them, blaming them, gaslighting can KILL PEOPLE. I''m sure many suicides are related to this very topic. Thank you for standing up and having the courage to denounce our toxic society norms.
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386
@nowherewomannowherewoman4386 3 года назад
❤ I would like to share with you some words of wisdom told to me by one Matt Iriving PhD who was a Scottish musician who was bass player for Manfred Mann's Earth Band among other musical collaborations, who was also a trained psychologist and counsellor. He told me once, "The most emotionally stable position for a human being is to be 49% slightly anxious, and 51% happy". They are words of balance I have shared since hearing them many times, and feel they may find some resonance here. Much love and many blessings to your work xx
@angelinarobert622
@angelinarobert622 3 года назад
Thanks for bringing this topic up it needs to be discussed and addressed. Toxic Positivity is always in your face and rammed down your throat on social media. Toxic Positivity is for the one who speaks it speaks it for their own comfort because they're not empathetic and they cannot "read the air/atmosphere" . Trust me, empathy can be a double edged sword one edge towards your enemy, one edge towards yourself. if your best friend suffers from anxiety and you're feeling "his pain" it's not good, but it can save a life. i don't think of emotions as a binary system of Positive Emotions and Negative Emotions. i think of emotions as Organic chemicals that flow in mixes and gradients of feelings. If others thought that way, they'd make life easier others, instead of harder.
@throwaway5926
@throwaway5926 3 года назад
“I don’t want to be a burden on other people. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. That’s why I don’t like to talk to people.” This perfectly encapsulates how I feel every single day of my life. I hate that I’m constantly hearing that men should open up and speak up, but for what when all I’m gonna get is shame and ridicule? We’re told to speak up only to be ignored, so what’s the point? What’s the point of being human if no one sees your humanity? Sometimes the nothingness…the numbness and emptiness of death seems like a welcomed change over the misery of being invisible to the world.
@suaadinterests
@suaadinterests 3 года назад
I feel you . . I have been through such stage in my life . . were everything was not making any sense . . please seek help as I did and time and self-awarness will heal your soul. Please stay safe.
@throwaway5926
@throwaway5926 2 года назад
@@suaadinterests thank you.
@bonzo3601
@bonzo3601 Год назад
It's important to address one's negativity, become aware of it and process it. But! Don't dwell there too long.
@SomethingSomethingg
@SomethingSomethingg 7 месяцев назад
This is exactly why I don't want to be friends with optimists because they cannot handle anything, honest or anything real. Everything has to be sugar coated constantly. Therefore, if I'm having a rough time and I need advice or help or just someone to talk to, it becomes a, "Things could be worse!". Um, okay? And? How does that change the situation I'm in? So if I'm being verbally abused every day. I should be grateful that I'm not being tortured too??
@vaishalivaidya7978
@vaishalivaidya7978 3 года назад
Such a beautiful underlying message.When we choose half of our lives, we choose half of ourselves and it can never be lived half way through. We may just exist but living and coming alive may truly mean owning and living our whole self. Thank you for such a beautiful presentation. It's only when we accept and embrace our shadows, we become Whole Self, breathing, living, feeling, thinking entities. Only when we can be compassionate towards the self, can we be compassionate towards others, only when we can sit with ourselves can we sit and hold a place for that other.
@jusren
@jusren 4 года назад
What an insightful video! Acknowledge and empathy for other people's range of emotions!
@thousandyardgavri2785
@thousandyardgavri2785 4 года назад
I like to give comfort to people but Im not entirely sure if I was being toxic positive.
@mahmoudkhedr2480
@mahmoudkhedr2480 4 года назад
Giving people comfort is so important, and I think it's hard to know when we're causing more harm than good. One of the best ways to know, in my opinion, is to ask people about what they think they need. Do they need you to be motivate them? Do they need advice? Do they need a story about how you overcame your biggest struggle? Or do they just need you to listen and be there? Or give them a warm hug? Sometimes people are not able to share what they need till they are asked. Try that out! :)
@thousandyardgavri2785
@thousandyardgavri2785 4 года назад
@@mahmoudkhedr2480 Funny thing is I don't think clear when I speak. The words I utter are all from the heart. And I know deep down in my heart knowing what the person wants and giving it are the right thing to do when I wanna give someone comfort. And I remember doing those(well except Im not used to hugs lol) but the details of the conversation are blurry to me so Im not entirely sure if I was being toxic at some point. But that's just me being critical with myself. Anyways, Thank you for sharing your life and your insights! You are very kind..
@MrGarrettMorgan
@MrGarrettMorgan 2 года назад
Thank you for your talk it was relatable and is an important topic. A lot of "toxic positivity" is from people that care but don't know what to say to comfort the other person. Most people are not mental health professionals and this is great information for a short talk to the public. Many of us, at least at some point, need the assistance of professional mental health care to assist us on our journey, sometimes we just need help working through issues we havent dealt with and sometimes we also are suffering with depression (which can have a lot of causes!) It's not on only the provider to make it all happen, positivity takes work. For many, It can feel like a choice that they have to make every day. Telling themselves to keep positive. Overcoming this negativity, like digging yourself out of a hole, can make you feel really good about yourself. Thus building the positive emotions. Possibly another reason these toxic responses to negativity from others is so often heard is because thats what many say to themselves when coping with negative thoughts every day. Keep on truckin. May 2022 be super fresh for us all.
Далее
Beatrise (пародия) Stromae - Alors on danse
00:44
Avaz Oxun - Yangisidan bor
14:29
Просмотров 361 тыс.
Escaping Porn Addiction | Eli Nash | TEDxFortWayne
19:03
The Power of Positivity | Guy Katz | TEDxZurich
15:54
Просмотров 344 тыс.
Beatrise (пародия) Stromae - Alors on danse
00:44