How Weddings Exploit your Love & Wallet - The Wedding Industrial Complex (ft. HeyItsVadim) | Salari 

The funeral industry is even worse and insulting.

You: Does it means that I love her less? Capitalism: Yes.

But if some dirt poor child didn't lose an arm or die when mining my engagement ring diamonds, how do I know that the love is real!?

Salari's best man here. His voice didn't break THAT badly when he sang at his wedding. I sold bootlegs of it outside the venue after the ceremony and made a killing

instead of having a wedding, i'm going to elope and spend all that money on an amazing luxurious honeymoon

my engagment ring has a fat pikachu hugging a fake diamond. I love it

This is why I’ve never married my partner. Neither of us had any money, our parents have none either, and we decided to get indebted for a degree that would allow us to escape low wage jobs. So now we owe dozens of thousands of dollars, make slightly more than minimum wage, and I’m considering marrying him (just legally, no ceremony) so I can get on his health insurance. Ah, romance under neoliberal capitalism.

mad props to my parents for getting married in a basement in texas and going to dairy queen for ice cream as their reception. 30 years and still going strong.

"Queen Victoria was to white dresses what Pinterest was to mason jars" omg. I don't know why that one really got me lol

My brother and my sister in law got married at the Justice of the Peace in sweaters and jeans and 16 years and three kids later they still have a strong marriage. It is about the marriage and not the wedding.

That's it. I'm wearing my prom dress to my wedding along with the black veil I bought for a cosplay. Change my mind.

To be fair to vendors who charge way more for weddings, in a sense they're also victims of the hype. Wedding vendors deal with a lot of extra demands and drama. No one cares what color the napkins are at a corporate event or a birthday party. But for weddings, you have brides screaming at rental companies because the tablecloths are white and not eggshell. Bakeries create passwords with couples so an angry mother-in-law can't call in and sabotage the cake. You have to work much harder to make sure that everything is "perfect". Until we as a society all chill out about weddings, I think they should absolutely come with higher fees.

The diamond paradox: if a diamond is valuable because it looks pretty, then why do fakes that look the exact same cost so much less?

I didnt really want a wedding but my family is very traditional and basically nagged me till I gave in. Had it planned for May 2020 (oof) but we got the news that my grandmothers cancer had come back worse, so decided to have it in June 2019. 2 months after the news. Spent 3K on the whole shebang with nearly 100 guests. My dress was 200, same as the tux, and coincidentally the same price as the rings. It was an outdoor wedding and we bought our own wedding tents online for $800, rather than go for the $4000 (🤮) price for rented ones, plus we sold the tents after. I was able to find a local farmer who sold me tons of meat for a really good price so we had pulled pork sandwiches and a million delicious potluck sides for dinner. I am a chef so I was able to make my own cake as well, dark chocolate and hazelnut. It was a beautiful, hectic and very fun wedding and I am glad I got to do it before my grandma passed. She passed away just weeks before my original wedding was planned.

I keep telling people that they are not members of high society. Save all that money for the house and skip the fancy wedding.

I'm invited to a cousins wedding later this year... and they are paying MORE THAN 100,000 DOLLARS for this wedding. I love them, but it feels like such a disgustingly wasteful practice of glutinous capitalism. You could buy a good portion of A HOUSE with that amount! Millions of people Would use that money for food and water, but instead its being used for a weekend party . :/

Society be like: Your wedding should be the happiest day of your life then expect you to spend your life savings or you don't have """""true love."""""

“The US wedding market is so expensive” Laughs in Indian Laughs in Nigerian

My partner and I got married at a little local church, with just our parents and the priest there (which didn't cost us anything), and had a family potluck to celebrate afterwards at his parents house. No wedding dress, no ceremony, no cake, not even an engagement ring. We just decided one day "hey, let's do it! it's gonna happen eventually anyways, why not next month?" In August, we'll celebrate 5 years as a married couple. It's all about love for us, not a grand ceremony. Happy to see there's other great examples of this in other comments on this video!

My engagement ring is moissanite - it's so shiny and sparkly, and a fraction of the price of a diamond. I just think it's absurd to spend thousands of dollars on an arbitrary thing like diamonds.

THANK YOU stranger on the internet for telling me I don't need to overspend to prove anything and to be frugal! I really needed that kind of affirmation. Even though I'm not close to getting married the whole 'wedding industrial complex' gives my such a weird, lonely brand of anxiety, especially because big, showy weddings have become so essential in Indian cultures. My parents are well-to-do but when they talk of setting aside money for my wedding or the amount that they'd spend it gives me a near cardiac arrest. And my friends don't seem to have those concerns either? A bunch of them are getting married in the near future and it's all extravagance that goes on for days. Makes me wonder if my parents will be disappointed or if my peers will be a bit judgmental if all I want to do is register my marriage in some nice clothes that don't cost a bomb. And makes me unnecessarily worried that a potential partner too may find me too cynical or sad for not wanting an engagement ring or any of the pre-wedding photo shoots stuff. Bleh. but thanks again for assuaging

It’s okay if you’re the beast. He was sexier as the beast.

My partner and I are currently planning a wedding and it's wild how many people we need to be in touch with and how much planning is involved. We both just wanted something chill and low-key, but everyone in the family has something to say and something they are expecting. I love and care about these people, so I find myself doing a lot of things for THEM, not for us. It sucks.

I plan to have a quiet garden wedding in my own home. I'm 21. I'll check in with you guys when I get my dream home with a nice garden loll

I knew about lying about whether your event was a wedding, but today was the first time I considered not even having rings. Like why do any of our traditions matter? A wedding could literally just be a medium size party at someone's house that happens to have an officiant. You can wear literally anything you want and rings are not legally binding.

My husband proposed with a hamburger because I didn’t want an engagement ring. Then we got married at the courthouse. So happy we didn’t do things traditionally, after five years I’ve never once regretted our decisions

I proposed to my wife while we were both on LSD, and for our wedding we had a cookout for our families and got married at the courthouse. Good times.

“Idk why engagement photos becoming a thing but it need to stop” agree! Nowadays people make photo sessions for everything. When they engage, when they got pregnant and show their bump, when the baby just born and looks like potato. Everything become photo session which is very unnecessary

One of my first jobs, at age 14, was for a local wedding boutique. The first thing I learned was that the dresses are always ordered way to big so the store can charge lost for "alterations".

seeing that you're a resident of America now, and have been through the sticker shock of getting married, call a hospital and ask them how much it charges to deliver a baby before you conceive, they might actually tell you!

I love big princess weddings as much as any other girly girl, but my darling and I are eloping to Chicago (after covid, obviously), and we couldn't be happier. I still get to have the dress, photos, champagne, cake, and most importantly the love of my life, but without making the day such a stupidly expensive and dramatic endeavour. Breaking down the price of everything, I came up with around $3000-$4000 for every little detail. To make sure our family and friends get to celebrate as well, we've planned to have a simple outdoor picnic following our elopement. If any other brides-to-be are terrified of the idea of a traditional wedding, I would SO reccomend looking into elopements and micro weddings!!

Which is why when I'm having wedding, I'm saying it's fot my grandfather's birthday and separately hiring people to decorate it. And instead of ordering a wedding cake, order an extravagant birthday cake and buy your own topper. The minute organizers hear wedding, the price is gonna sky rocket

Getting married is one thing. Having a wedding is a luxury item, sorry. There is no need for you to do it (other than your own fancy).

we had a lowkey wedding for about 1500€ bucks, which still is a lot of money. Didn't invite many (because corona, but Germany hadn't been hit as hard as during the months after) and until this day many members of my family won't talk to us, because we didn't invite them and because we didn't plan a lavish feast. I'll always say: it's your day. not that of your family or friends and it's the worst to get shamed for it.

I already told my boyfriend that if he ever proposes, I don't want an engagement ring. First of all, I hate wearing rings anyway, and second I wouldn't marry someone who's that irresponsible with money. Do you know what a vacation we could get for that money? No thank you. Our love is still worth more than anything

This video made me really happy that my partner and I had a tiny wedding. My dress was from a high street shop & it wasn't even white, my ring didn't have a diamond, and it was just at my parents' house. I sometimes feel like it was too small, but watching this made me grateful again that we kept it low key :)

21:25 33k??? Now listen I am in fact, a child, so weddings aren't even on my mind but like,,,, 33k???? I could pay for ftm top surgery and almost afford bottom surgery with that money :((

My husband and I got married in Hong Kong, I changed in a mall bathroom (it was empty, nice and very clean), my dress was $40 and reusable, no professional hair and makeup, our bands were less than $200 for both, and the celebration was in a bar that we rented under a condition that our party will spend there no less than $300. Prices in HK and China are very different, I get it, but I'm still super happy with how everything went down.

I’m so mad. I wanted a super lowkey wedding with just immediate family and maybe a friend or two. MY BOYFRIEND HAS 9 SIBLINGS. SEVERAL OF THEM HAVE KIDS. I only have one brother and he’s 16 😭.

This is why im calling my wedding a 'family gathering' to combat wedding markups

I got an engagement ring ad on this video 🙃

We got married at city hall and threw a party later. In addition to saving our own money, it didn't require our guests to buy special outfits or gifts. Worked out fine!

When I was younger I really wanted a big wedding and I had planned to have one with my first engagement after high school graduation. 10 years later and I am now actually married to a totally different person and instead of having that big wedding we spent $35. We married at the courthouse with my immediate family (mom, dad, sister, and niece) and paid $35 for the marriage certificate only. I think my younger self would have felt disappointed by that but I honestly am glad I grew as a person to the point where I didnt need the spectacle and gesture because it was really just to mask that we had a lot of problems in that relationship. Overall though I feel happy with my actual spouse and after our wedding we went with my family to get barbecue. 10/10. would spend $35 again.

I'm a lesbian, and part of why I wanna wear a suit at my wedding is to avoid the expense of two wedding dresses. I doubt whoever I marry and I will really be able to afford the one

The only ring I want from someone is onion.

Why this video looks like a less chaotic version of something from contrapoints or philosophy tube lol Also, really loving you channel!

The Next video you should do about the funeral industry...

As a person that does not want to date or get married, the media from the anglosphere selling that your wedding day is the most important day of your life really annoys me. And what you mentioned about most character arcs finishing with them getting married is also upseting. It sends the message there is no other way to happiness than romantic love and it gives a completely secondary role to other human relationships such as friendship, which are very important in my life. Nevertheless, I must say that I feel way more pressured to get into a romantic relationship and get married since I moved from Spain to the UK. It is not that British people are criticizing me for deciding to stay single, but rather the fact that most people I know in Spain are single or at least not planning to get married while in the UK everyone I know seems to be married or desperately looking for "the one".

34,000 dollars? Jesus, If I ever marry I hope whoever I do marry just wants to elope. Hell I'd rather just be alone than shell out that much.

Great video the wedding industry is a disgustingly exploitative racket. Before we tied the knot my wife sat down with me and asked me "do you want a wedding or a marriage?" That more than anything confirmed i had made the right choice.

Imagine being 10 and introducing someone to your husband/wife. Also all of the wedding superstitions sound like they were made up by people who spent way too much money and are now justifying their decisions.

My take: Abolish marriage. It's a patriarchal and redundant. Love who you want, when you want, how you want. So long as it's between freely consenting, fully informed adults, it's all good fam.

Human beings are so easily manipulated...we need more vids like this

I went to a wedding for the first time this summer and while it was beautiful, the thing I will always remember was the bride and groom’s speeches to eachother at the reception. Not the cake, flower, dresses or food.

i wanna get married when im ready but dude there's no big point to these grand weddings- it's too expensive and it's quite the invasion of privacy. there's a part of me that wants it to be a grand party in realistic terms, and to get symbolic rings and whatnot, but still, it is so pointless and drains so much for the two people who desire to marry

Wait. Engagement photos have been a thing, for can confirm, at least he better half of the last century. My parents had engagement photos in 1980. The choice photo was used in the engagement announcement in the newspaper.

Great points! I've been aware of this for as long as I can remember and I knew a "traditional" engagement and wedding wasn't something I wanted to do. My husband and I didn't get engaged and people found it so confusing when I told them we were getting married and I didn't have a ring. We had a 15-minute non-denominational ceremony in the garden of a notary office last year, I thrifted a burgundy dress for $50 and my husband wore a suit he'd had for years. We bought simple handmade redwood rings off Etsy, and our friend took photos with my DSLR. We ordered vegan pizza, opened a bottle of sake and watched Stranger Things after. It was great! And I've already re-worn my dress (to a friend's 15k€ wedding 😅).

I got married in the middle of the pandemic, we never wanted a big wedding anyway.. No engagement ring, only wedding rings, all the shops were closed so I wore the dress I already owned. I'm really happy that me and my now husband don't care about those things 😄

I thought bringing up limerence at the end of this video was so interesting, society makes such a big deal out of romantic love when really it’s such a transient feeling and can be pretty impersonal, I’ve felt this way about people I barely even liked for dumb reasons, like I liked their accent. The only thing that lasts in relationships are platonic forms of love but society really devalues platonic love. And women are definitely the ones who suffer the most because of this, since men can kind of get away with chasing this type of feeling.

Fiancé and I are getting married but decided to have the smallest wedding possible. We’ll just say our vows in front of friends and family and spend more money on the honeymoon.

"you need to get married within 90 days of entering the country" so i take it you haven't heard about 90 Day Fiance

My parents got married in their living room. They're still together over 30 years later

This is so interesting! Also nice to see it being discussed. My partner and I are getting married in November (global situation permitting) and it's fun to hear all these ridiculous traditions and see which ones we bought into and which we didn't. So far it's a yes to the very expensive white dress, and a no to diamonds (cubic zerconium) and my partner also has an engagement ring (engraved like a circuit board), both rings together cost less than £150. No to fruitcake (good God that tradition needs to die), and no to an engagement shoot. It's quite interesting hearing your view though, because we're getting married in the UK where a lot of the laundry list seems more optional or at the very least is included in the venue hire rather than an additional cost. We are still spending a lot of money... but far less than we are (will... when we can) spend on the honeymoon. Honestly I'm pretty chuffed about how much we're spending for what we're getting. As a child I really bought into the wedding ideas, I had a wedding scrapbook from the age of 8. I was exactly the child/teen that romcoms love and other genres laugh at. Turns out what when it comes to my own wedding I actually really don't care about all the things I was told/believed were important. If anyone has read all this way and is planning on getting married, trust me - focus on the things you really care about and feel free to ignore the rest!

My bf and I have been talking about not wanting a wedding if/when we get married for exactly this reason

My best friend, who is the most frugal (cheap, she’s just cheap) person I’ve ever met, managed to have an actual wedding for around $1500 including her wedding dress! Her dream dress was $900 at David’s Bridal, however, there was a store an hour away that had it on clearance for $130 because somewhere on the dress there was an ink mark. Uh, the ink mark was in a seam on the waist that not a single person could ever see because there was a ribbon that went right over it. The location only cost $30 to rent, it was a community center on the beach that already had tables and chairs. She only needed another $30 for a permit to get married on the beach. The pastor was free. We bought several rotisserie chickens from Publix and sides that we reheated on site for about 60 guests. We went to a store called Old Time Pottery and we bought the items needed to make the decorations and bouquet. I made her dream bouquet from fake flowers that cost no more than a dollar each. We made boutonnières for the men and corsages for the bridesmaids. You would’ve never guessed how little money was spent walking into the reception. We spent a lot of hours of labor, but at the end of the day it was worth it. We all had fun, we became closer friends and it was such a memorable experience. Oh, the one thing that she couldn’t get out of discounting was the wedding cake. She got a 3 tier cake for $300, which in my opinion is fairly cheap for a wedding cake, but to her it might as well be $1000. Lol. Her brother is a music producer so he was the DJ and one of her friends was the photographer for free as her wedding gift. And honestly my friend only wanted certain things photographed by a professional.

As an aromantic person, just wanna say thanks for the title

Love the smooth piano version of "Be My Baby" in the background. Fits well to your ironic presentation.

Weddings from when I was a kid gave me so much anxiety, I hate being around so many people I don't really relate to in anyway, it honestly fills me with anxiety now seeing the footage of weddings from this and imagining I might have to do that and everyone expects me to, and if I don't have a big lavish one then I'll be judged on multiple levels by my family or the bride's. I hate that we have invented a thing everyone is supposed to do where they basically pretend to be rich for one day.

trying to tie wealth to love is so gross 😬😬

I fell in love with a Swede and moved here two years ago. As an American, I’m used to being bombarded with images of huge diamond engagement rings. Mine is a plain white gold 2mm band as is tradition here. My wedding band will be a bit more ornate but still nothing like the ostentatious American ideals. I am happy and proud of my ring (and his, too, as men here also wear engagement rings that later serve as the wedding band). It’s beautiful and given with love. We will be eloping first in front of the judge and then on the edge of a cliff at my favorite place in the world, Ales Stenar. There we will exchange words of love between us and us alone. Weddings are not a circus or a spectacle. They are celebrations of love between two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together. Congratulations to you all and enjoy your weddings as the start of happy marriages!!!!❤️

Wedding planning was one the most stressful things I’d ever done. The worst part is that you never realize you are getting scammed and when you figure it out it’s too late.

It's important that you use all that money for the memories of that one wedding day, instead of for a down payment on a house that will hold decades of memories.

My boyfriend and I aren't going to get married anytime soon, but we've already agreed to making it a pretty small affair and cut costs down as much as possible. No diamond ring, no cake, and a dress that sits in the 100's, not 1000's, etc. Not gonna lie, I do like the thought of a big, romantic wedding, but I really can't justify the costs of such an event. It's about you and your partner, not a lavish display of wealth.

As a Photographer, I honestly feel the only thing worth paying for is Bride & Groom clothing & photography. Everything else is SO inflated!!! My Fiancé and I plan of having a garden party engagement party but when guests show up they’ll be told it’s actually our wedding 🤣 It’ll show us that the ones who really love us will be there as the people who don’t feel it’s important to come, won’t be there 🙂 My dress will be a white $300 prom dress and fiancé has had a navy suit from Target for YEARS! We’ll only be spending the photographer ($4,000), Dress ($200 to $300), alcohol ($200?) and that seems to be it 🙂

I remember seeing this couple on TikTok who stated instead of doing a wedding, they saved up all that money to travel to many different places and created beautiful! This is honestly what I wanna do since I’m not the type of person who loves showing myself off to people and I remember seeing this couple on TikTok who stated instead of doing a wedding, they saved up all that money to travel to many different places and created beautiful! This is honestly what I wanna do since I’m not the type of person who loves showing myself off to people and i love exploring & learning about different cultures😄 wasting my money for something like this will be super fun & memorable instead of a dress that I won’t ever wear again or stressing over the ceremony.

working at a Dimond fair I was able to listen to an expert industry talk which debated how to emotionally bind people to real diamonds and how they must start ad campaigns to emphasise that only real natural child mined blood diamonds are truly saying I love you A friend of mine wrote a whole thesis how the Dimond industry invaded the Chinese market - published magazines, even sponsored TV shows to introduce the engagement ring tradition - it wasn't a thing in china but the massive ad campaign worked and now there is a huge artificial market for it.

My wife and I only got married at the courthouse. Weddings are a waste of money.

Thank you for the great points you make in this video. I just wanna say (as someone who will likely elope if I do get married and don’t even think I want my family there)... liking any of those things doesn’t make you shallow either. Not liking or wanting them seems to give some people a real chip on their shoulder. It just shouldn’t be an expectation or comparison game that knocks people back significant amounts of money, and there shouldn’t be an entire predatory industry that relies on propaganda to get people to consume. Do what you want for you and the person you love. There just seems to be a weird overcompensation, a not like other girls thing that happens though, in the other direction, where people almost need to tell everyone how much they didn’t care about doing all that, which makes me kinda roll my eyes as much as people who compare how much people spent on the ring more than even the idea of being engaged. TL:DR, if you want something beautiful and to remember, that’s up to you what it looks like, and I agree the hyperconsumption and profit incentive involved with weddings is unethical as hell.

I know not everyone can do this, but for people who can, heirloom jewelry is a great option for wedding rings. My wedding ring was my great grandmother's wedding ring. It's unique, I like it, and it was basically free for us. The only cost was getting it resized to fit my finger.

I worked in a bridal shop almost 20 years ago... agreed, wedding industrial complex

TIL: Get married on one of your birthdays! That way, you don't even have to lie!

I love how Salari's Video give me a free, comprehensible lecture about a specific topic I would have not known about / cared about otherwise!

Got married in 2019. My husband and I had talked about getting married prior to our engagement and I picked out my engagement ring. It was $100 and it's opal set in silver. It's exactly what I wanted. And yet most women that I showed it too during my engagement reacted with what I can only describe as pity. And I don't blame them. They were clearly indoctrinated into the "if he doesn't buy you a $10K diamond, he doesn't love you" school of thought. It was just...ugh, so shitty to see.

"Normalise wearing wedding dresses." I've believed this for years, glad to see someone else finally said it.

Yeah. I don't need to have an extremely big and expensive wedding. But my parents want it to be big regardless because its "tradition". Even though we can't afford :/

Diamonds are (purposefully) overrated and kinda sketch. And if bingeing Four Weddings has taught me anything it's that big weddings are too much work

Your voice is relaxing while you're spitting straight facts. Thanks for your effort and thoughts.

This piano version of Lovefool playing in the background is superdistracting. Now it will sit in my head for the rest of the day. THANKS!

In the words of the great Rick Sanchez, "Weddings are basically funerals with cake." I think I'll pass.

my dude just wait till you see a quinceañera

I just got engaged and I needed this video. So glad it popped up in my recommended!

dude your videos are so underappreciated, love these types of videos keep it up

Grand weddings ≠ grand marriages. The biggest wedding I went to, the couple divorced just after their second anniversary.

Sadly, If you had made a too low key wedding USCIS would have questioned the legitimacy of your union.

I needed this -- newly engaged & felt a lot of pressure. Thank you !

Had a courthouse wedding for just the marriage license fee. I wore a 20 dollar dress and my husband a 17 dollar shirt and some older pants he just had laying around. He gave me rings, 140 for the engagement and band and for his birthday I got him his wedding band that he chose which was 114. I wanted a traditional wedding at first but when I looked up how expensive it is even for a “simple”wedding we ditched the idea. I just wanted to be married to him, it took a wallet shock to realize I would be fine just being married without all the showmanship involved in it. I don’t regret not having a big wedding. We used the money saved to move into a better apartment and help with some of our bills. I’m so happy I’m not in debt over a wedding.

You nailed it. The wife and I tried to keep it as stress free and as cheap as possible by simply going with a package deal at a hotel. We made our own table decorations, I thrifted a Brooks Brothers suit for $8, and we rented speakers and just plugged a laptop in with a Spotify playlist in lieu of a dj which I recommend everyone do. Hell, I handed my groomsmen $40 each and told them to get a haircut and shave wherever as the price for wedding day haircuts was nuts had we all walked into one place together. The wedding was great and I’m glad we did it , but we still knew it was dumb money to spend for a fancy party.

My Fiancée and I are the least traditional people. We are doing what the hell we want lol. I will be buying a bomb $50 dress. We are having a small guest list, and we are not concerned with people feelings. Our budget is $2000-$2500. We are building wealth over here, not a fantasy for other people.

I'm excited for this one!! Thanks for all your hard work, your videos are always interesting and insightful :)

Another excellent video! I always look forward to your video essays.