How Your Personality Can Sabotage Your Success | Eric Barker on Impact Theory

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Eric Barker is redefining the rules of success. Leaving behind an illustrious career as a screenwriter for Disney and Fox, Eric turned his passion for fact-finding into one of the most popular blogs on the Internet. His insatiable curiosity drives him to question everything and, in turn, publish science-based insights that reveal real and usable secrets to success. He’s spoken on prestigious institutions like West Point, Yale and MIT and his work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Time magazine, and Business Insider. Watch Eric Barker explain why everything you know about success is (mostly) wrong in this jam-packed episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu.
PULL QUOTES
“Peer pressure affects us our entire lives. We are always influenced by our context and by the people around us. The biggest danger is we don’t realize it.” [15:50]
“It’s so hard to bring up your weaknesses. You see much greater gains by trying to double-down on your strengths.” [19:41]
“Work’s not work if you enjoy it.” [22:56]
“We’ve all had successes; we’ve all had failures. But which ones do we choose to define ourselves by?” [31:57]
“If you have trouble changing your story, first change your behavior.” [36:42]
“The more stuff you quit that isn’t delivering value to your life, the more resources, time, and energy you have to really become good at something.” [39:06]
SHOW NOTES
Eric speaks out about why feeling powerless at work can kill you. [3:55]
Tom and Eric discuss the “prisoner’s dilemma” and whether nice guys still finish last. [7:07]
Eric talks about behavioral strategies and lengthening the shadow of the future. [12:02]
Eric offers advice to those who are givers in every area of life. [15:01]
Eric debunks how bad behaviors can be good in the right context. [18:00]
Tom and Eric go deep on what drives him and how he’s reinvented himself. [22:16]
Eric explains why the Navy’s research shows self-talk was a critical component of their training. [26:21]
Eric speaks on the power of personal narrative and the evolving story of the self. [30:18]
Eric addresses why stories are edited and inaccurate and why your story follows your behavior. [33:53]
Tom and Eric dive into knowing when to quit and how to manifest your dreams. [38:39]
Eric describes how to use little bets to develop passion and asking questions to spark curiosity. [43:22]
Eric reveals three keys to producing great content and uncovers the struggle with happiness. [47:22]
Eric breaks down work-life balance and the four things that everyone needs to consider in life. [52:02]
Eric defines the impact that he wants to have on the world. [54:38]
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
BOOKS
Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong - amzn.to/2wXGjyu [0:57]
Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries - amzn.to/2w9CnwX [43:28]
FOLLOW ERIC
TWITTER: bit.ly/2uFlLNH
FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2uKxvdV
INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2i0vc4q
WEBSITE: bit.ly/1l97koO
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Опубликовано:

21 авг 2017

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Комментарии : 229

@fadius17 3 года назад

I’ve watched a lot of these interviews but Eric Barker’s has been by far the most helpful and inspirational! He does an amazing job laying out practical steps anyone can take for approaching life’s most important questions.

@janesmith167 6 лет назад

Philosophy, Psychology, Inspirational, Insightful, Actionable... all in one interview. Fooking Awesome!!!

@lambd01d 4 года назад

As someone who has bipolar disorder and has great experience of depression I can say that depression leads to pessimism and not the other way around. Depression is the lack of capacity to be optimistic. I tried lots of positive affirmations and positive thinking. Never made me feel better, not one bit. I just had to put up with it until my mood swung round again which could take months. Depression is an illness. It's a complicated illness involving diet, sleep, mitochondrial dysfunction, neurotransmitters, brain rewiring, excitotoxicity, gut microbiome, epigenetics, the immune system, light, circadian rhythms and environmental and interpersonal stressors. Once I discovered what supplements and other techniques helped me, I found my capacity for optimism became much bigger. When you are depressed the specific part of your brain that deals with the expectation of non-reward is overactive and the different part of your brain that deals with the expectation of reward is underactive, so you don't respond to things that are rewarding and you expect good things not to happen. It's not as simple as just having an optimistic attitude. You brain has to have the capacity to be optimistic and that requires it to be in a healthy state first. Then you can rewire it for an optimistic attitude.

@anthonypietrobono6178 6 лет назад

God bless these show notes in the description wow. Talk about OVER DELIVERING. Thanks Tom!

@ItsBonfireMusic 5 лет назад

Anthony Pietrobono srsly

@dronesandnature 5 лет назад

I met a young reservist/soldier the other day who is learning Russian. So empowering to learn new things! And yes, stress at work or in your career that is not GOOD stress will absolutely raise cortisol and insulin and profoundly ages you beyond your years. Plus, it decreases your personal and professional efficacy, and people who you serve...well, they know! And it robs your soul, most of all. People don't take steps to change things a lot of the time due to some perceived pressure that they have to stay in some "respectable" societal role when it no longer makes them feel good. Really good stuff! Thank you!

@RohitKumar-ku4nh 6 лет назад

One of the best episodes of Impact Theory!!!!! this guy is so fabulous !

@MrTORISSIMO 6 лет назад

My favorite take away: 1- Wish: or paint the picture.. dream, meditate or visualize / 2 - Outcome: How will you measure that this has been achieved in a tangible way / 3 - What are the obstacles, things to tackle or accomplish, the stepping stones (the not so fun part) / 4 - Plan: What's the next step, chunk it down in very small, measurable steps so you can keep focusing on just the next step (and don't forget to celebrate small achievements to keep fueling up) and get to work baby!

@TomBilyeu 6 лет назад

Agreed about WOOP. Amazing.

@user-mm2be3wu3m 3 года назад

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@user-mm2be3wu3m 3 года назад

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@user-mm2be3wu3m 3 года назад

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@user-mm2be3wu3m 3 года назад

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@HG51_ 6 лет назад

Without a doubt makes the top 3 impact theory interviews. Eric is authentic, genuine, intelligent and inspiring. The concepts about happiness leading more often to success than vice versa, and how many so called mysteries are actually puzzles are powerful truths. You’re always setting the bar higher and higher!

@CzechRiot 5 лет назад

The fact that happiness more often leads to success than vice versa is something I had observed throughout the years . It's almost a tautology to some extent, because concepts like "education", "friendship", "family values", "honesty", "brotherhood" are all about the same principle which is to CARE FOR LIFE, which is the same as "being optimistic", the same as having a "positive mindset". What is a "happy family"? It is a group of people who truly care for the well being of the others; and truly caring for others is simply the definition of *love* . And you cannot have love without a positive mindset, without focusing on the value of existing, focusing on the positive aspects of existence, of living. The concept of "education" is basically schematizing what's positive and what's negative, defining what actions/processes will have positive or negative consequences. Education is nothing more than filtering out actions that have prejudicial/damaging consequences on life. It is not about having diplomas and titles and certificates to fuel narcissistic proclivities. The fundamental idea of "education" is designing thought processes that increase *care* . Being organized, prudent, perfectionist, attentive, are all concepts that signify taking better care of something regarded as valuable. It is protecting the valuable. Love is nothing more than trying to protect something deemed as valuable. Happiness is simply a word that represents the feeling someone has when they perceive the valuable item as being properly protected and maintained. The state of happiness is the overall feeling when there's an observation and realization that all valuable things are properly maintained. "Happy" people will be those who are connected to valuable things, and that connections are stable, secure, persistent, permanent (this I'm referring to an idea of *true happiness* , not momentary feelings of well being that can be obtained through peaks of chemicals, which is basically what happens with drug use. That is an unstable, ephemeral, fragile feeling of wellness). Suffering, anguish, misery, desolation, are simply the feeling of remoteness of dissociation from valuable things. The valuable things are distant and out of reach, or they're jumbled and cluttered amidst perilous and toxic things. "Lack of education" tends to lead to unhappiness because the _life-caring processes_ are inefficient; actions lead to disease, to accidents, to violence, corruption. The unhappy aim to destroy what they deem as threatening, but since they don't have good judgmental processes, they destroy aimlessly. That is why "dumb people", people who lack intelligence, often create suffering when they act. Happy people are happy because they know how to take care of valuable things, unhappy people are those who progressively have less efficient life-caring thought processes and, therefore, actions.

@bdotdilla 6 лет назад

Amazing interview. I just finished his book and I took TONS of notes because there was just so many nuggets of actionable steps. As always, thanks for having him on & leading me to this guy! He's a beast with his knowledge!

@ProfaneEgyptology 6 лет назад

This might be my favourite episode yet. What a deep well of wisdom and insight this man is. From the idea of aligning your context with your key traits and intensifiers, to the notion that stories are the operating system of the brain - Joseph Campbell said something very similar about mythology being the software that we use to interface with the hardware that is the universe. The WOOP acronym is now going on a post-it note on my desktop, along with many other quotes from this damn fine show. Thank you Tom and IT team!

@robertoenamoradoakaroberto5654 6 лет назад

Glad I clicked in this...it's one of those videos where you HAVE TO take notes. #Awesome! Thanks Tom and Eric!

@jqjq1796 5 лет назад

I watch every interview conducted by Tom. thanks tom for bringing such great people on ur program. by far this Eric barker is one of the best one. I'm in the process of recovery n broke but you give me not just hope but shown me the right path. lots of love from london.

@seemapatilJapan 4 года назад

Tom is so focused and asks the right questions. Amazing skills of interviewing and Eric Barker gives very pragmatic advices.

@nitahudson5109 4 года назад

ERIC is a great guest and his personality compliments Tom’s work strategy beautifully. Love it when Tom is super excited and jumps into learning from the guest along with us! Great show!

@crisg.6236 6 лет назад

Yas!!! Huge difference between getting the job and being genuinely successful at the job.

@impwerume 3 года назад

I always to come back to this interview especially in times when I seem stuck. It is one of the best I have ever watched. So rich with practical wisdom. Thank you, Tom.

@ngonichirinda124 6 лет назад

I was blown away. Thanks Tom for bring Eric to the show. You are always taking it a step higher.

@shafiqkhan1609 6 лет назад

Tom you doing fantastic work thats healing the humanity .I learn a lot . Eric has excellent insight and research base knowledge which will help many people.

@brianagonzales7648 5 лет назад

This was my favorite interview thus far!! His passion is so infectious!!

@corykong6510 6 лет назад

This is one of my favorites! Really great interview. I've learned a lot from prisonner dilemmas to being nice without being a doormat and delegating time for certain activities. Wow. Bakadesuyo is also absolutely a fantastic blogsite.

@LionfrZion 6 лет назад

Thank you Tom! :) That was a super engaging and fascinating episode. Thank you for introducing me to Eric Barker! and Congrats on 81 K Subs.. and rising fast... !!!

@npipkins 6 лет назад

Great interview! I’ve enjoyed Eric’s blog for a long time but hearing him discuss things with you was amazing. Science in plain English always resonates.

@nobertstanel9428 6 лет назад

Thank you IT team ! This is going to be my movie for tonight.

@anuratiraina6800 5 лет назад

One of the best episodes ever... This guy's face expression changes Every single second, During the whole episode... So expressive

@eugenierunner7988 5 лет назад

What a positive, charming, knowledgeable, interesting, loveable, inspiring, happy individual who loves life! Would love to have a friend like this! So nice to have discovered you Mr.. Eric Barker! A big thanks, to you, as well, Tom, for your terrific work!😃

@fiddles78 5 лет назад

Tom I just wanna thank you so much for your work, you have really helped me hugely out of depression and started thinking positive about my life again. Amazing.

@jenil691 4 года назад

You will continue to change lives with these interviews Tom. I watch Impact Theory throughout the week.

@SiimLand 6 лет назад

Dope new studio setup!

@DanielChardMagic 6 лет назад

It was a great episode and I came across Eric Barker originally in an episode of Lewis Holmes Show, the name alludes me right now. But what I liked is that here's a guy that has clearly very knowledgeable and successful, But very humble and came across as a really nice guy, purchased the book. Its on my reading pile. Might move it higher up the list now :)

@otilialeonte1160 6 лет назад

Waw,this changed the way i see things. Great guest,lovely host,amazing team.Thank you. Impact Theory you changed my life.

@Jamie-vn6ko 5 лет назад

This is so awesome!!! I love this episode! Every second is GOLD, so inspiring and POWERFUL! Thank you guys!

@jms415 5 лет назад

Great point about the stories we tell ourselves and each other. And coupled with our self talk, is an amazing way to provide support during a journey.

@KeerthySunder 3 года назад

Eric Barker- Astonishing is an understatement. And as for Tom- he is alien genius 👊

@persianchris2451 4 года назад

38:49 "Having a budget of time, any resource to assist people and designating it allows to make sure it happens so you are a giver, but also make sure that it doesn't take over your life" Wow that resonates with me so much! I tend to not say "I don't have time" because we ALL have time,. Instead, I tend to say "It's not that I don't have time for you, I've just prioritized my time to certain commitments"..... That way If there's any resistance I can follow up with "You want my help but would you someone helping you and telling you what to do who can't even deliver on their own commitments?".... Moving forward I am going to incorporate "I don't have a budget of time at this moment without compromising commitments" or something along those lines. Thank you so much!

@kathiecherry2672 5 лет назад

Pages and pages of notes here ...so many news things to read, think about, and take action on... Amazing and Thank you!

@sahilaurora9093 6 лет назад

great interview. Reading his book currently and whatever he says makes so much sense. Thanks tom for the great content :)

@paulandreehouman3094 2 года назад

i've watched a lot of impact theory interviews but this one is amazing because this man always answer questions by "there is research ......" . he reads a lot

@amerok3 6 лет назад

Hello Tom, Lisa, Cindy, Chase and all the team. Thank you very much for this! I would like to know if it be possible to have more Impact Quotes, please? Thanks a lot for what you're doing!

@jamesgrey13 6 лет назад

Tom and Eric, great show! Awesome job!

@eddierocksteady5740 5 лет назад

Always great interviews as always. Thank you, Tom

@ToniBlackman4 4 года назад

You have the best guests Tom! This is so good. Sooo many quotables here and this is a ministry for us Over Givers! Lord!

@stephenodey5147 5 лет назад

Listened to this a gain one year on (2019) and found it even more insightful 👍 Thank You both for the secret sauces to happiness ❤️

@Snackay 6 лет назад

My workplace is just like that. A key leader is very critical, and so all the lesser employees behave that way too sometimes.

@ashleymackenzie7209 6 лет назад

Amazing, I've made most of the mistakes he mentioned 🤦🏻‍♂️ if only I'd watched this show 35 years ago!

@Igbostudy 5 лет назад

Many thanks for this interview. Loads of practical ways to approach most aspects of daily living. Took notes.

@SaudMasud 6 лет назад

"Stories are the operating system of the brain" Thank you!

@andrewshaw3926 6 лет назад

Wow. Another awesome guest. Thanks Tom for inviting him on. Heading straight for the rabbit hole. See you next week. #belegendary

@thekhoatran 4 года назад

From this interview just bought his hardcover book, so excited to read it!

@carlosbecerra4189 6 лет назад

This was great! Thank you!

@jaredpratt3927 4 года назад

Dude, your question @ 15:24 earned you a subscriber! Thanks for your work and keep questioning!

@ibtihalelalami4171 4 года назад

As always, amazing content! Thank you Tom 🙏🏻

@danielreid3447 3 года назад

Puzzles -v- mysteries was a good example. What I think is frustrating is some puzzles have more than one answer.

@greg6895 5 лет назад

l love his advice, he is a very wise man and so easy to understand....priceless. Thank you Eric

@TheZGALa 6 лет назад

OMG I fucking LOVE that I am listening to this tonight, just as I wrap up my day...may have to pause to play my guitar and come back to review this. Relationships are so important to every other thing in our lives, and it all starts with understanding ourselves well enough to utilize the appropriate aspects of ourselves in the appropriate context. "It Is All about the relative perspective of one thing to another." me

@martincasey5110 6 лет назад

Book ordered!! Thanks guys

@True38 3 года назад

The market does not care about your passion, so if you are passionate about something, make sure first there's actually a demand for it. Otherwise, just stick to it as a hobby, which is what most people do.

@lise4369 6 лет назад

A budget of time. Chunking 😀🤗😍 love this!

@Snackay 6 лет назад

Much greater gains by doubling-down on your strengths, but in the right contexts.

@jason_carelse 4 года назад

Awesome episode Tom, keep up the positive influence.

@loredanaotilia5505 3 года назад

I've just started to read Eric Barker's book and I love it 👍great interview and really happy to see Eric Barker how he talk 🙂

@gambarusso 4 года назад

Thank you once again for bringing inspiring people on the show.

@lylab9922 6 лет назад

Awesome interview!!!!!

@vin_lulz 4 года назад

I love you tom you're seriously one of the biggest role models in my life. you're really a model individual and deserve all that you have This guy really might be just speaking the truth, but i really am a doormat as a person And there's been a lot of really great and amazing people in my life who have helped me so much through rough patches, and I always try to be as nice and respectful to everyone and help people out so maybe someone can look up to me as a good person who helped them out or showed them the way in life I guess i felt offended that he's saying basically greed is the way in life but really in many principles is destruction

@realmacksteve 2 года назад

I'm going to check out whatever Eric Barker puts out. He's brilliant. Never a bad episode from Tom and the old one's in person are some of the best.

@netfriending101 4 года назад

17:11 - Givers • Takers • Matchers - These are the 3 types of people that will come into your life so discover how to read people quickly to know if they are a giver, a taker, or a matcher. Also, discover how to ask the people that you surround yourself with the most which one you are for THEM. You may be surprised at their answers. Here's another mindset shift to have at your frontal lobe about the 3 types of people that will come into your life. 1) This person is for YOU. They are the most likely person to be in your life for a lifetime. - These are your CONFIDANTS. 2) This person is for what you are for. They are NOT for you but it will "appear and feel" as though they are. These are the types of people who will say, "We're not as good friends as you think we are." They are the most likely person to be in your life for a reason and/or a season. This means that they will leave you. Therefore, these people will not be suitable for YOU as a marriage or business partner. - These are your Constituents. 3) This person is against what you are against. They are NOT for you but it will "appear and feel" as though they are. These are the types of people who will say, "We're not as good a friends as you think we are." They are the most likely person to be in your life for a reason and/or a season. This means that they will leave you. Therefore, these people will not be suitable for YOU as a marriage or business partner. - These are your Comrades. www.RU-vid.com/watch?v=p5A6Q1GHw1s&t=17m11s #Netfriending® Show Topic: #StreamableClip

@dinonaccarato2989 2 года назад

Tom, he was great and knowledgeable. Loved listening to him. Keep up the great work Tom and team. Nacc, Canada

@azhaz578 5 лет назад

This is amazing. As someone who works for a narcissist this was really encouraging. Thanks!

@feiadobraia 5 лет назад

Wow! Such a nice guy! Thank you Tom for doing that. It is perfect.......

@BIngeilski 4 года назад

Positive, pragmatic and practical approach to becoming successful and happy!

@michellekalski8823 6 лет назад

Very interesting! I’m going to get his book.

@oliverf944 4 года назад

Eric information is really fascinating. Just downloaded his book on audible

@Me-nc8pp 2 года назад

53:29: The 4 buckets: 1. happiness (enjoying what you do), 2. achievement (approaching your goals), 3. significance (pos. impact on loved ones), 4. legacy (pos. impact on world).

@marcuswarren4390 6 лет назад

Another great interview. Thank you both. I especially enjoyed the insight about whether considering the obstacles in pursuing a goal makes you feel energized or not, and on that basis is a worthwhile goal, or not. Great stuff...

@robertrainey1728 6 лет назад

Great show. Thanks

@stukenborgpodcast 5 лет назад

An absolutely compelling interview Tom!

@batsmiley1 5 лет назад

Fantastic interview. Very motivating.

@teposipho2388 6 лет назад

it was super....eric barker is a phenomenal thinking superhuman!!

@TomBilyeu 6 лет назад

Yes!

@failforwardfast8609 5 лет назад

Love This interview!

@sylviacanchangeworld 4 года назад

Thank you! Amazing.

@ElishaLong 6 лет назад

Tom please do yourself and the fans a huge favor and get Jordan Peterson on the show

@brianmclean8732 6 лет назад

Elisha. Make it happen. Have Tom be the last person to ask him.

@neacsumiruna5621 6 лет назад

Yes, yes! I'm sure he would blow our minds

@SM-xe5sr 6 лет назад

Thumbs up!

@360.Tapestry 6 лет назад

free will is an illusion

@ariellecat 6 лет назад

I think it'll happen. I recall Tom saying that he's reading the Gulag archipelago, and so he's probably doing his research. But I could be wrong. One can hope :)

@sorayalux 4 года назад

This is life changing🙏🏾

@progressandproductivity Год назад

One of my favorites and one of the few I watched twice. Great job

@rakeshkumarmadella7955 5 лет назад

Even I liked this interview... I am from South Indian.. I had a thick South Indian accent.. I started listening to ur videos.. some of the videos I have listened again, and again, again... the way introduce to people is simple wow.. amazing.. unbelievable... the intonation is also great .. I tried to imitate or shadow learning.. so that can speak like u.. that accent.. I have also joined toast masters sessions.. my English is good.. but the problem Is that i have an Indian accent.. I had overcome most of that accent .However I need to keep listening and practicing it .. I work for Hyatt hotels USA.. and speak to some of the native speakers from India in Chicago.

@tashidolkarsamdrupling5720 6 лет назад

Thank you so much for motivation video

@ritwikraj6293 6 лет назад

That's how you introduce a guest. Brilliant!

@a.k.4085 5 лет назад

Total accident that I stumbled upon this...and this guy makes TOO much sense. Whew....wish I had known this 5 years ago!!!

@alexfan7454 5 лет назад

Thank you, I will be able to use the WOOP test from now on when my head gets caught in the clouds.

@williamchamberlain2263 6 лет назад

Research shows that the Matthew Principle compounds early luck and early leads in careers, separately from the good/bad behaviour axis. So that 15:00 first impressions point shows that it's good to put yourself out there and work hard/smart as early as possible.

@averhamilton8823 4 года назад

Man. This is so great! Thank you Tom Bilyeu!!!!!!!!

@nathanielmarshall7637 6 лет назад

Have no idea who this guy is or what he's going to say, but he's wearing an Oswald the Lucky Rabbit shirt so I'm pretty sure he's going to rock.

@CzechRiot 5 лет назад

I know very little about cartoons and I simply though it was a Mickey Mouse with strong wind blowing his ears backwards... After reading this comment I found out Mickey was actually simply a redesign of this Oswald character...

@oolala53 3 года назад

I would like to know what the measures of success were. Just because a giver doesn’t make a lot of money or have a high status job doesn’t mean she isn’t happy or satisfied. This is interesting, though. The internet allows for people to read other people’s stuff or talk to the real people who know stuff and make money telling other people what you know. Also it’s interesting that these guys don’t seem to know that there is a way to go beyond that constant narrative, beyond its being either negative or positive. It’s what the right meditative practices can do.

@drlepora1 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing!

@LunyMilky 6 лет назад

I feel legendary right now x'))

@lilianagarcesrosero 4 года назад

happiness leads to success... no the other way around, I like that!

@seemapatilJapan 4 года назад

Very inspiring with pragmatic answers. I have to read the book.

@slippo99 4 года назад

Could be Bilyeu's best ep.! Thank goodness.

@timiadetona 4 года назад

I love me some Eric. He has a unique way of reviewing books if you're subscribed to his list

@paradisearyaei7058 4 года назад

Good o you, I really like to meet and talk with these types of people hours and hours and I strongly believe that I will not fed up because it makes a better person by leaning different things that help me to realize that life is not just making money and going to holidays but if u think that when u helped someone to be happy what amazing work you have done and you will see the meaningful world. ........ Thanks dude. God bless