How Your Trauma Explains Your Coping Mechanisms 

May ask you something why is life hard and miserable to my life i im in pain, suffered,fear, is this my question and help me achieve my dream and thank you🥺

can you make a video on how to impress my crush in primary school

my man coped too hard and got copium

Would you guys be able to do a video on Pre-Verbal trauma? Or fit it in some place? I watch these videos as they come up to better identify what I am feeling because I don’t really have the words to describe them. My therapist seems to think this is a good idea so I figured Pre-Verbal might be a subject you would be interested in making a video on because it’s hard to acknowledge a trauma that you can’t really describe.

Could you please give solutions to 0:52 abuse/exploitation coping mechanism

____________ "Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. ____________ _To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality')..._ I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for them. When caught, ESFJ will use their minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till. Amber Heard's brain-formation is that of the ESFJ neuro-personality type (but with cluster-B). This is absolute! Due to practice, ESFJ are natural actors and manipulators. They practice in front of a mirror at a young age, usually late at night (akin to "ritual"). When they "socialise", they are screening and recruiting new (disposable) pawns. This makes their manipulative reach far and wide. This is their natural function and life cycle. Cluster-B only worsens ESFJ's manipulative, predatory-psychology. Undesirable neuro-personality types (ESFJ, ESFP/ISFP), and cluster-b often defend them, ignoring logic, truth and reality - these are general symptoms of their disorder/neuro-psychology. ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition). SUMMARY: Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b) [Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL). ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed and covert-narcissists (unless they've worked on themselves), hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ #Save_Soil

Same bestie :D

@@misscornicat yooooo :DDD

Welcome to the team dear (I hope you’ll leave it soon) I had this moment first time I saw a video from this channel, do seek help if you can and don’t be like me

Exactly the same, well I was quite sure that I had at least one but in the end I found out I almost have all of the ones listed…yay

I hear it, I just refuse to heal.

Damn…

@@svenskatomat why.

@@tumultuousv Because I am a man.

@@svenskatomat Is this irony?

same, sadly

Omg i was going through the exact same emotions haha

Same here. Being told as a child that you're overacting when you're just being A CHILD is traumatizing. Now I can't really feel too happy and can't express myself very well.

Same here

I was given that treatment in the 2nd grade to the degree where I became suicidal. Do not take it lightly. It took my mother and me 15 years to finally undo the damage the evil teacher inflicted on me in 8 months.

Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.

@michealharris3221Is he on instagram?

The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.

I am so happy for you! I hope the best for you and yours.

Me too

Deng, the one who made you should stop making babies.

I want to like but it's already 69, btw i have them all too ... I just broke up becuz of those reason, im on the way of healing and fixing myself, good point is u already realized your symptoms, so let's change ourself now shall we ?

Insert "I'm in this and I don't like it" meme here... Everything was spot on...

@@amateruss maybe they were an accident too like me :') i was the reason my parents married

Righttt 😅

I mean I don’t think I have trauma but still lol😂

Lmao same

Same

Yea, same

Bruh what kind of therapist is that

@@Alexzy39 Not a very good one-- I'm in the progress of getting a new one

Some therapies are based on providing guidance for you to find the answers and do the changes. Maybe you could talk to her about it

Yuuuuuuup

You are not alone with the realization that you have suffered a great deal of trauma. I have as well though I might not have admitted it before.

I realized the same thing. I thought what I went through was normal and not worth talking about, and it turns out it completely traumatized me.

100% I never thought that an experience I went through was really that bad, but I also never tried really talking about. I've been in therapy and looking back on it, it feels like every action of my day was dictated by this thing I had been pushing down. I really just wish it hadn't taken 12 years to finally confront it.

I tend to think this is a fairly normal reaction. If someone grows up with traumatic surroundings and experiences, to them, it may be normal. They may think everyone else deals with the same things. It's only when you get out in the world that you have the realization "Oh no, that's not normal." What we may see as just another occurrence, others who didn't experience it may see as horrific.

I too hv a fear of asking my family for help or for anything at all. (My step dad says what do you want me to do about it. 😢)

I feel the same way- and it’s not even as if I have a good reason. Some people are just like that ig

@@darkstarmoonshadow8892 how fucking horrible

love you

Ironic how I cope with this by watching motivating videos about success being a very lonely road and generally just make myself working alone because if I want to achieve my dreams, I can rely only on myself. Somehow, that worked incredibly well

Same, I was surprised that it was an actual trauma. Good to know am not alone

It's okay!

This is why self-diagnose doesn't work.

I hope you're doing ok ❤ I know it's tough

You sound like me. Raised by a narcissist perhaps ?

Turn down the temperature around her. Be even colder to her until she freezes. She sounds like she deserves it.

You can gain that back by walking in Christ ! It’s not understanding how put your foot in some one shoes not your fault do not blame yourself ! You can heal only one way! Jesus Christ

I overcame this during university abroad by being kind to others. Eventually their compassion softened me.

couldn’t agree more!

23 here as well. Similar experiences, but they never realize or acknowledge what they have done.

Glad to hear you didn't let your past hold you down. Keep it up king, all for her👑

It must be hard for you especially as a father, I am glad you’re getting better and that now you have a wife and daughter all to yourself ❤️I am proud of you

This is so beautiful 🥺 God bless you for breaking the cycle

I too have 6 out of 7, and its good too see that you can flourish despite your trauma, and that there is always hope, even if the way forward is long and difficult

You sir are blessed for being able to overcome your trauma enough to find a loving wife with whom you could start a family.

I wanted to say the same thing (except I have adhd). It’s so much easier to be traumatised if ur neurodivergent but people don’t understand

hey man, thanks for sharing your condition, i have all 7 too and just learnt a little bit about autism, the symptoms are scarily accurate for me, been wondering since childhood what made me different compared to the other kids and turns out i most likely have autism too knowing i'm not alone with my condition made me feel better, hope you'll feel the same

I heard this is the austistic section? I have "only" 4 of these traumas, however being on the austistic scale aswell can certainly be overwhelming. Always being the odd one... Wish for all of us to find our places in the world.

Yup I started crying. I've also experienced all 7 and am pretty sure I have autism and adhd, but haven't been diagnosed. But it definitely explains so much of my childhood and how I reacted to things.

@@zvnholy3396 especially if u didn’t realise what was wrong with you- the conditions themselves aren’t so bad- it’s how people fail u in the process

you ARE special for doing it. congratulations! I'm in 7th grade and I've fallen in a deep depression and I'm failing all my classes, I really hope I get into a good highschool..

Well, sorry, but it's true, everyone graduates so it doesn't make you special as you're only be special if you're different

I can tell you for sure, from personal experience, not everybody graduates. Whatever situation may cause it people drop out all the time. And despite what seems to have been a not so great situation you apparently did graduate. It is one heck of an accomplishment. Well done.

Better than physical abuse

@@marcoborga6304 drop outs exist, way to go girl!!!!

❤️

Mee too. You are not alone

These same truths also bind in my life today. As, for example, whenever I perform something correctly or even if I do it better compared to the average man, I just cannot enable myself whatsoever to spend even the briefest moment to applaud and appreciate my performance. No, not at all. That whatever I do I manage to succeed in, I never in return pay respect to myself nor do I think that what I did was adequate enough at all; and instead, I continue to dwell on my firmly consolidated notion that it is impossible for me upon this Earth to accomplish anything that actually merits earnest praise and reverence from people. And if it happens that someone makes an attempt in reassuring me, I then prepare myself to artfully dodge and evade that person's ointment.

@@solonada9602 I feel the same way. But we need to learn to be a friend to ourselves. We wouldn't treat someone else that way. It's like self loathing in a way. Well you can squirm all you want but YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE OKAY ALL THE TIME. Make small strides to be a better friend to yourself. You deserve to be happy. I have to remind myself that I should be proud even if I just got out of bed. Even if I didn't get out the bed that is also ok. Be kind to your childhood traumatized self.

Speaking of the least important problems... The hell is littlest?

Thought it was just me....

Oml im not alone...

I’m so sorry to hear u I got some narcissistic parent and a sibling but it can’t compare to what u went through I’m privileged to have little violence in my family but I want u to know that life isn’t a race and everyone has their own pace so take the time u have and rise

I’m sorry too hear you had too go through that must of been awful

I’m so, so sorry you went through that. I experienced a similar childhood and healing from it is so difficult. Sending hugs ❤️

Would you mind sharing how you developed? What you said is exactly me..I want to get better tooT^T

@@lukyG8 usually starts with your parents and how they were raised.

Same here, whenever i would see someone get celebrated for getting an A or high achievent award while i got only a A or B honor roll it would hurt and i would hurt myself over it

squib the libbalib. we are one you will be okay skriiiiiiiiiipip

I am what you would consider "book smart" I would make A(s) and B(s) but my mom never taught me how to be efficient as an adult (I didn't learn how to do laundry until my early 20s because I was too "stupid" to learn) my mom would say. "You used to be so smart in school; what happened to you?"

same, I used to get the perfect scores even tho I was never the best one in school, there was always someone who was better than me, I would be 2nd or 3rd person in competitions. I didn't have a problem with that, I didn't want to be the best. I wanted to be normal, average. but my mom always wanted me to be the best, the 1st. I used to cry because of her in my elementary and middle school years, cuz she was pushing me to work harder. but now I'm older and I'm in the 3rd year of high school. I have my own opinions and my own lifestyle. like I always have been, I don't care about my grades, my mom is still pushing me to study harder even tho she kinda gave up on it. I'm glad that I found what I want at a (kinda) young age. because if I didn't adopt to this carefree lifestyle and did what my parents asked of me, I'm sure I would be depressed, tired and unhealthy. I remember when I was studying for high school entrance exam, I was too stressed out that there were acnes on my face (I was also in my puberty) I wasn't even eating much fast food, I am not the type to eat too much unhealthy food (I'm thankful for my parents for that, they raised me with mostly healthy food ). but I was like depressed because a teen in their puberty must be happy, healthy, free to grow into a good person with a healthy lifestyle. but in my country the school system is so fcked up they literally want us to be the best in everything to get into a great high school or college, and if you don't graduate from a good college then you'll be unemployed. so that's why I was studying hardly but now I just don't care and I realized how happy I am by not forcing myself to do something I clearly don't want to. and my skin is so clean because I'm not stressing myself. I have my free time to myself, I can learn a new language (I'm a linguistic person, so it's one of my favourite hobbies) , I can improve my drawing skills, I can listen to music, improve my singing skills, I can watch a documentary, I can go out and observe nature, I can learn new hobbies like sewing, etc. so what I'm trying to say is academic success is not something everybody can achieve. and you don't have to force yourself. you can be good at other things, you just have to find what you're good at and do things you enjoy. I don't know if you'll agree with me, that's just my opinion and that's the way I can be happy, but if academic success is what makes you happy even tho there is not an exact outcome of what will happen in the future or if you'll be successful... that's okay too! just wanted to share my thoughts... have a good day

Same. Anything below a B or a C meant that I was a failure. I recently ended up back in a depression spiral and my grades tanked because of it. I was failing over half of my classes and was leaning on taking summer school to pass them, but I just couldn't be bothered. They wouldn't have been good enough. Just like me.

totally agree

So true, and I’m glad you’re doing better

Good for you. I feel you when you said you didn’t like your reflection. Good luck on your journey.

I unfortunately related to all of them...

@@Reiiven Thank you!!

Sad but true. People don't want to be around you unless you have something to offer.

Nobody really loves you for who you truly are. They just like what you can provide for them.

It's sad that we had to discover something so brutal. I don't know why people dont understand that relationships are more important than getting benefits from people around you cuz those benefits isn't gonna give you a fortune. In the end, it's your hardwork that's gonna give you whatever you want. So you just destroyed a sweet moment you could be having with people around you, by only thinking about taking benefits out of them. Like my friends only thought about how they could steal or take my money, instead of thinking about making good memories with me. That money they took/stole from me did nothing to get them far in life. But only few intelligent beings think like this. Others are just stupid, they won't get this thing.

Oh man, you're so victimized. Here's your victim badge of honor 🏳‍🌈

@@truthoverlies6434 Wow, you're such a macho tough guy. Bet you also sit five ft away from dudes bc you're not gay, right? 🤣

I love my mum but i'm seeing a trend here... Mums can really mess people up. A few hours ago I was just thinking to myself, I think I expect my mother to love me in ways she cannot. I think we have extremely high expectations of how our mothers shiuld love us. Sad to say they keep disappointing us. I think this is why mu.s can be so traumatizing. Lemme just throw it out there because I need to remember this myself... Only God can give me the kind of love I need...

I guess it's a common thing if our mums are always working and we only see them for a few hours before they sleep. Or they run off and help people while their own children are sometimes caught in the dumpster fire of our minds and they are drowning in it.

Exactly!

We'll always judge because judging you for ourselves and our peers is a good way categorise you. You're a stranger so we need all the information we can get, surface or otherwise. That's why it's important to recognize these coping mechanisms and break them. Don't be sorry for yourself, be better.

People abuse others because they went through trauma and had a bad coping mechanism. Hurt people hurt, doesn't mean it's ok nor they should be free of judgement.

As someone with trauma I completely disagree. If someone is being a d-ck, regardless of their trauma, they are open for judgement and to be called out. In fact it's better to set them straight then to encourage unhealthy and horrible behaviour. I myself have been judged harshly yet none of it was inaccurate. I would also like to add on that it stopped me from becoming more abusive than I already was. You people are not helping them, you are leading to their destruction. They say "The abused becomes the abuser if the abused does no heal" And you can not heal if people keep telling you, you are fine.

@@FroppyFroggy I agree. My ex used to say the most toxic stuff to me. So, I let it go for about 2 months before I started to give her the same type of treatment. She was a lying, cheating, manipulating, gaslighting, narcissist who still till this day can not take accountability. Now as she tells it, she's a "traumatized victim" even tho she was the abuser. Crazy how disgusting and unaccountable people can be. Just push it onto somebody else because accepting the fact you're a piece of shit is a hard pill to swallow. But she had no issue swallowing other things lol.

I have this too, and it angers me so much, but my parents don't acknowledge it.

BRO SAME..

I had depression for all my puberty and adult life so my mother did almost everything for me now I cant seem to get out of this bubble since my depression and anxiety make everything worse. I have been trying but every time I get into a new depression it just regresses to start. It is pretty annoying to start over every freaking year

Hey, it's okay, you all will make it. It's not too late to learn One day at a time and have patience with yourself. Believe in your abilities :) Coming from the same place, so I know what it's like.

Same too!!

shi u good bro

Me too

Realising you have a journey to make is one of the hardest parts. It seems never done, haha

The quote is by Carl Jung.psych2 go should reveal the source of their research.please look up Jung to help you on your journey

You talk like tears are a bad thing. They’re just our bodies’ way of attempting to recover from severe stress. Bullies don’t like them because they want to be able to inflict pain with no personal consequences, including feeling bad themselves. 😭

I’m glad that ended up helping you! I’ve tried something similar in the past but could never get past the mindset of “Those voices are from me”

This is definitely helpful, thank you for sharing! I'm also interested in learning about Jung's work, so this makes me more curious to learn about it and how it works. I hope you continue to explore and accept all the different parts of your mind and keep making progress :)

Interesting. I just talk to myself and pace. 😅

I started this process as well way back ago, and all I ended up was naming my demons lol. I don't know if it was better before but I don't feel anything changed other than me materializing him in thought and perhaps being able to argue in thought.

you said it perfectly. thank you.

Glad I’m not alone

ikrr

Right?! As if we don’t feel called out enough 😂 ❤❤❤

I know this is one year ago, but I agree so much. Like, I realized how many traumas I have.

Yeah I really got called out

It seems like you’ve really had a rough go of it. It’s fantastic that you are aware of the ways you cope with your trauma and why you have the trauma in the first place, I imagine that would make it easier to recognize negative patterns which can be very helpful. I agree with you, it is really frustrating just how many people can traumatize others without a second thought. It makes me feel very sad. The world would be so much more pleasant if everyone was kind. I see you and I am glad that you are still here being an empathetic person in the overwhelming world we live in.

Thankyou for sharing your story, I hope you’ll feel better and can deal with the trauma eventually at ur own pace! :) it’s really crazy how accurate these videos are…

omg that must be so horrible i feel bad for you arkyia, i hope you are now in a better mind-space then you were back when you were abused.

I've also went through the same during my childhood. I did know about the underlying issues but I didn't know that there was documented list of traumas and I ended up having them all. I guess now I'll be better able to differentiate

Totally agree with yah! 💯

I also agree, unfortunately all of these are applicable or have been at one point or another.

Sameee! Well, different reason ofc, like I’m pretty sensitive, so I don’t like to cry because when I get embarrassed, and it takes a toll on me 😓

Reason for me was i was often in the house when my mom started yelling at my sister for crying. I never had to deal with it directly, because i became practically emotionless around my mother. I’d put on so many masks, and when i decided to try and forgive her, she almost dissowned my sister while i was in the exact same room. I can not show certain emotions atound her, without fear of getting yelled at. So i just block them off, sadness included. Some people are able to drag those blocked emotions out of me, but thats a very short list.

@@firestar023 dang

Dude, you said you're in a hole of sadness when you're not around other people. How do you get out? I've been falling into some unhealthy habits because I feel... something I don't even know. All I know is that something in me is breaking and it's causing a lot of problems. I need help more than I want to believe. If you just want to talk about what you have I'm sure I would love to be a part of that. Maybe talking to someone will help me too

@@Wanderer24 sure we can talk in the yt comments if you we ever need someone to vent too if that’s ok with you😁

🎯

My parents are just like this and it makes my blood BOIL!!!

Nah youre just a crybaby😂

It's okay, the best you can do is accept emotion as it comes and figure out what it needs. it's okay to go through emotions.

@@siriussslate6832 thank you, I appreciate it^^

You are a very strong person to forgive your mother. Well done . I am sorry for the pain that she and your grandmother have caused.

Thanks for the story but no one cares

I think you probably helped heal someone today by being so honest about your experience and emotions. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope things continue to improve for you. ❤

Your actual problem is you've lived too comfortable a life. Nothing ever forced you out of your comfort zone. This "trauma" s* and depression isn't the issue. The issue is life is too easy for you, and because of that you've never been forced to adapt.

"Going too far into the retreat of your mind". Reading that really resonated with me, I feel like I spend most my days in my mind thinking more so than interacting with the world.

@@Iistener And that's fine in small doses, but when you start to lose touch with reality, it is time for some sense work.

​@@truthoverlies6434 literally stfu

I feel this too I struggle so hard with expressing how I’m feeling cuz I’m worried I’ll hurt the persons feelings

Thank you for your support! Glad to hear our video has helped you!

@@Psych2go ❤️

one of the greats

are you me? You literally described me to a T. It sucks. Sometimes I feel like a bad person, but I just know it's my coping mechanisms because I'm so afraid of being hurt again.

Literally me. It's good to know i'm not alone in this. I mean it's sad, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but you get what I mean.

It is what it is, the world isn't gonna change for us so we can't change how we are if we're not to be backstabbed again.

Just learning this now in the military as well, I don’t think getting too attached with my division is very good for me

Cant begin to imagine how tough it would have been in the military and hence the need to develop detachment. For me its very applicable in civil life.Being emotionally abandoned by family has been a thing.Also, people move on once you arent working together.no call no texts.so yeah i dont get attached either and can never ask for help cz it was always denied whenever I outright asked ( even by family).I still thimk its a great way to be,do never depend on others.

@@sadia2395 I think being careful who to attach to emotionally is important.. But not attaching to anyone is dangerous. Connection is typically the key. You won’t connect with everyone, nor do you have to. Sometimes people you feel you should be close to, like family or coworkers you spend most of your time with, isn’t as much of an option as we like. As terrible as it sounds, sometimes the social environment we’ve been dealt sucks… But life is defined by our relationships. No one sits on their deathbed wishing they’d gotten more hours in at work. Those who wish they had traveled more or experienced more, do so too loving friends, spouses, or family they are close to. Failing to connect with anyone, even by choice, is a deepening wound that will eventually bleed is to death. I learned this myself over years that were married by grey days and heart ache. But we’re not confined to the hand we’re are dealt. If it’s hard to reach out to others for help, so be it. Reach out because others out there need you too. Decide who to spend your time with carefully, but for those who seem worthy of affection, offer them yours. You may be surprised to find it is a two way street.

That's rough. I hope you find happiness.

Trauma can either destroy one or develop one into a monster

I love my mum but i'm seeing a trend here... Mums can really mess people up. A few hours ago I was just thinking to myself, I think I expect my mother to love me in ways she cannot. I think we have extremely high expectations of how our mothers should love us. Sad to say they keep disappointing us. I think this is why mums can be so traumatizing. Lemme just throw it out there because I need to remember this myself... Only God can give me the kind of love I need...

I sure can relate

Sending hugs and lots of love your way...I can relate a lot with feeling like the "fat ugly one"...I cope with food and video games because all my life I was prevented from going out of the house, spending time with friends at their houses or going for outings. My dad was the primary reason of my fuked up life, he didn't believe I could ever do anything by myself & still yells at me if I make a mistake always reminding me that I'm irresponsible and useless. Therapy has helped a lot, though I could use it more, I've come to accept my body because of it and have understood that even if nobody likes me (the way I look), the only thing that matters is that I'm happy with my body and that I take care of it as an act of self love. I hope you're able to escape your family members and find some friends that turn into your real family. I wish you nothing but warm hugs, happiness and cuddles from fluffy pets :D

F It means I Feel u :c And somehow can relate

I was in k12 an online school I had really bad school anxiety too. Ppl offered help but when I asked for help they told me if I needed help I wasn't paying attention enough or berated me for asking for help so I never asked for help again. Which made my anxiety and school worse with an F average in every single class and so much anxiety that to this day I get random panic attacks and go into obvious physical and mental panic thinking I still have overdue assignments and I'm 21 now. I already had PTSD due to being abandoned by my father and suffered nightmares which gave me insomnia and could never sleep at night which ofc added to it and yk constant comments from my mom telling me how she was a gifted student which never helped and then still didn't want to help me. Ik this turned into a rant but I just really hate school now.

@@tallvinesbs1595 I failed my online classes too. Thank goodness it was only 8th grade.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I also suffered from nervous breakdowns and panic attacks during middle and high school. Some days i felt like a ticking time bomb so i kept everyone at arms length afraid of exploding in tears or anger. I hope your doing better and that youre doing better with your anxiety.

@@luisafrias7737 the anxiety hasn't gone and I now have depression as well. But on the bright side I know I'll be stronger if I make it through.

AMEN.True to that..

You are not alone in that. I'm there, too.

Let's connect through the internet! :)

@@Hmm-mq5tt Isn't this the internet?

@@LtRee96se yes, it is. Internet can feel as if people are close, but you can ignore the whole thing and be alone whenever you want to.

@@Hmm-mq5tt True

Wait, we’re so alike in a way of dealing with things in life

I feel you