@@robertjames7014 she can decide for herself wether she wants to stay with a transgender or not. She married a man not a women. Stop forcing it up on her!
How is she being a bitch when this dude was married to her all these years and lied to her through all this time you expect her or be just ok with everything when her husband suddenly says he is a women lmaoo gtfoh y’all people are dumb and always wanna blame women because they stand for themselves
Marina Rosales lol How is that relevant? Is this like the first time you’ve ever heard of transitioning? That’s like saying “the worst part of being a dude is you got an ugly penis and a wrinkly scrote!” How does someone respond to that lol? Total non sequitur. When it comes to talking about the lives of trans folk it’s all “WHAT KINDA GENITALZ U GOT?!” Super embarrassing yo..
PukiFee Neemo I completely understand where your coming from. BUTT back in his day, transgender people were beaten and even killed for being themselves. I understand why he was scared to come out.
Damn imagine being in an abusive marriage, a couple bad relationships, then when you feel like you’re in the most honest relationship. They were closeted all along that’s hard to process ☹️
@@potbunny7754 are you feeling beter now keyboard warrior ? Did mommy gave you 10 minutes on the internet and you did your 12 year old rant? You obviously have not dealt with gay or trans people or you would know they know from a VERY young age. There is no excuse to use someone to upkeep your image in the community. It's pathetic, it's selfish.
It's a tough, sad, and bitter situation that illustrates WHY, as brutal as it is, simple honest conversation at the start of the relationship is the only move. To wait this long and then expect her to, somehow, embrace this...wrong.
The fact that you knew you were trans and still married her, come on dude. 40 years of marriage, and you kept it a secret, you lied to your wife 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ you basically led her on most of her life.
You people really need to get it on board...really. The fact that you think transgender folks know every detail sooo clearly and just go around "lying" is insane. He has been confused. Period. As he got older and EDUCATED himself, things began to focus. I think he still seems confused about some of the details, but that's normal for some folks. He is dealing with that on top of trying to make her happy too. He doesn't know how. I'm not sure he should. She's made his situation aaalll about her, giving demands. He needs clarification therapy. She needs to love and support him or move on.
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Troy, unlike your family.... She doesn't owe you to stay. It's not fair, it's not ideal. But it is what it is. People fall in love with what in front of them, you're changing that. I hope you find happiness
@@kaminaridenki2481 what?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh my God your either male it female ..you can't be born in the wrong body....you wanna think you're a women that's fine but you're still male
that's what i thought at first too 😂😂. I was deep in thought for like 10 minutes like "if he was a girl then changed to a man, how come the wife doesn't know what gender her husband is everytime they had sex."😂😂
I get where Troy comes from but I do think it’s selfish to enter a relationship knowing you’re going to break someone’s heart out of your own cowardice. I’m a gay woman and I would never enter a relationship with a man knowing damn well it’s never going to work and I’d break his heart. It’s not cool to lead people on.
gr8t I don’t think Tory truly meant to hurt Wanda I think Troy entered the relationship because Rory was trying to become like what everyone wanted for him/her to be and if he truely through he/she could change it was with Wanda he/she can’t help being attracted to people
Not the same though, you are lesbian, you wouldn't be attracted to a man in the first place, so it would be a lie completely. He enter the relationship because he was attracted to her and didn't want to lose her because something he thought he could control for the rest of his life. Though I agree that he should have said something before marriage, I told my wife before we got engaged and we have been taking baby steps since then...
He hid it for so long. Just my opinion but if my partner felt like that then telling me in the beginning of our relationship would be better. She has her preference too and he's changing now. I mean of course he should be happy but I don't blame her for being upset.
True love is not skin deep and attraction is not a choice hes still the same person on the inside that she fell inlove with and rather than being supportive and telling him she'll love him no matter what she's making this about herself he's been living in the wrong gender for 40 years and she's acting as if he's doing this to attack or spite her so selfish on her end if she can't love him regardless of being transgender then she never truly loved him
CheerleadingClover12 while that's true not everyone has the same definition of true love! You can't blame her for being shock and reacting the way she did
CheerleadingClover12 Did he ever truly love her though by choosing to commit to a woman who told him that she only fancies men then expecting her to be fine with their relationship after he transitions to a woman? He selfishly wanted to be with her so withheld information from her so she wouldn't have the choice to leave him and be with someone who can make her happy, and now that she's rightfully speaking up for herself and stating the truth about how their relationship will inevitably change because of his choice to transition into a woman she's the selfish one? OK.
Piratesfan123 you seem to think sexuality is a choice it's not we don't choose whether or not to feel like women or men on the inside we just feel what we feel and most people who are trans don't always know that when they initially fall inlove with someone and even if he did know when he first met her he probably never planned to ever come out its likely that he was gonna continue to live in the wrong gender out of habit having already done it for 4 decades look at bruce jenner for example you think when he married Kris decades ago he did it thinking "Oh ill wait decades to come out and tell her I wanna be a woman so that by then she won't be able to be with someone else but for now I'll lie about who I really am"? NO! It doesnt work that way! Bruce didnt realize he was unhappy until late in his life just like the man in this video and when he came out Kris was understanding and supportive obviously its a natural reaction to feel deceived and lied to but not everyone knows from the moment theyre born that they are the wrong gender it took this man 4 decades to figure it out and that's nobody's fault she can either take it or leave it but he deserves to be a happy woman if thats what he wants there are billions of other people in this world if she has a problem, she can go be with someone else its not like she has children with him as a reason to stay (like her previous marriage)
Gender disphoria is a very rare condition. That being said he might be the real deal. But I lately I'm seeing a big problem with the amount of young kids who think they are trans. It's almost an epidemic. I asked my 17 yr niece how many trans people she knows and she said more than she can count. That's not possible in my opinion.
I'm transgender, and I take Cindy's side... you cant expect her to just accept you as her spouse when you want to be a woman, even less living a miserable life and not transitioning... It's a heavy burden to bear for her and clearly it would just cause a lot of resentment on the trans person's side.
I agree, but don't you think Wanda is making things worse? Genuine question. I see her as being completely insensitive and adding drama that's making it harder for both Cindy and Troy. It seems like Desperate Housewives or drama for TV at that level.
@@crofregernish4695 Yeah, if she wanted to get involved she should stick to supporting her friend. In the long run, making Troy feel bad about this will only cause even deeper problems for the only two that should matter in this situation.
The difficulty on both sides appears so exhausting. This is definitely a learning experience people in Troy's generation didn't have much support and transparency.
Cary Meyer I agree that conservatism is definitely a mental illness. If only everyone was liberal, then we would have an actual intelligent society. No more child abusers, or mental retardation (conservative values)
Mandy Schmidt liberals want big govt and they want government to control every aspect of their lives because they can’t think for themselves. You want to spend more money than you take in and bring us deeper in debt. You want a small military. You think more gun restrictions help reduce gun violence. The list is endless I’ll gladly be conservative and think for myself than be an entitled liberal that wants to destroy this country.
Cary Meyer You are spot on!! You are forgetting that you cannot have an intelligent, logical conversation with a liberal. Their train of thought is purely based on emotions and feelings. If you try to talk facts and logic they get all flustered and hostile. I have some liberal assholes in my family who I have tried to have adult conversations with and as soon as I debunk their crazy beliefs with real facts and statistics, they get pissed and leave the discussion, saying I cannot talk about this anymore. Unreal.
@NPC #11919 exactly. She's an aerospace engineer. I think he felt emasculated by her and that became his fetish and fantasy. To want to act out his fantasy of being a girl. Gross.
Kim Taehyung even after you transition it doesn’t get cured lol once you have it you always have it, it just might decrease the frequency of those thoughts. But some trans people regret transitioning and then kill themselves. But some also kill themselves if they don’t. It’s really sad. I wish people researched a drug to treat gender dysmorphia like depression or schizophrenia rather than to do all those surgeries.
justaperson the thing is that if people take drugs then it really won’t help them since they still have the body of the gender they aren’t. And there’s always the option of detransitioning so they don’t really have a reason to do that. And if you can’t because of money then there are countries that cover those surgeries.
@@KimTaehyung-rk3zl I think you are a bit confused. No one has a body of a gender they aren't. You are who you are, that's it. Your personality can be endless choices and mannerisms and likes and dislikes and fetishes and things that make you happy. That's kind of the joy of everyone being different. No one has to act a certain way because they are male or female. I do very much understand people with a history of sexual abuse wanting to disassociate from that gender (which they often share) and this is common in transgenderism, but it is often more helpful to face reality and deal with it. Detransitioning isn't some simple thing. Some changes are permanent when people take the hormones long term and have the genital surgery. Many things cannot be undone and no you can NEVER, and I do mean never go back to how things were. The person will never look as they would have naturally, in some cases never get their original voice back and let's not go into the absolutely mutilated genitals (which is many cases are not sexually functional after the initial surgery, let alone after changing them again). It is a huge decision and as much as I do believe transsexuals exist and deserve support, I can't help but completely separate them from this fad of transgenderism which is ridiculous and very harmful not only to the individual, but to their children and those around them. To add, transgenderism is NOT due to gender dysphoria in many cases. People can and do go through the motions of changing their outward appearance including genital surgery without gender dysphoria, in as little as 18 months from expressing the want to be someone else to actually getting altered genitals. justaperson is correct, "transitioning" is not a cure and the suicide rate stays the same. There should be better funded research into finding helpful ways for people to cope with this psychological condition, just as many others cope with theirs.
Wanda's right, he can't expect his wife to be ok with such a huge bombshell...And not trying to be mean, but he won't look like a woman, he'll just look like an old man in a wig trying to look like a woman
Troy is being forced to remain Male, I think thwt is a tragedy. If Cindy loves him really loves him, she should let him transition. She has the rigjt to divorce him, and move on.
@@lg6002 Not so. He has feminine features, I think he could pass it off. Either way, Cindy is not pretty herself, or her friend Wanda for that matter. And if Troy is happy as a woman, pretty or pretty ugly, He wants to be a "woman" and that is his goal to happiness. He should do it. Cindy and Wanda have no right to keep Troy from being happy. Cindy can go get another man. Why be with someone who isn't happy. What is the point of it?
He can't just expect everything to stay the same. She can't change her sexual orientation just as much as he can't change how he is. He should have told her before they gor married, because I'm sure that this makes her feel like she has been married to a different person this whole time. I feel so bad for her.
Agreed, though I think he can change his thinking. From how he described his childhood it seems as though he equated masculinity with pressure and stress-- he was in constant fear of not being a "pussy" in front of his mother and society, so he adopted traits that weren't natural to him and suppressed those that were. Because he was so isolated from the world for so long, I believe he started to fantasize about fully embracing his feminine side-- something that he was taught was bad as a child. He likely sees feminity as freedom and thinks transitioning into a woman will make him happy. But I don't think it will.
He should've never married her in the first place! Why would he marry a woman if he's been feeling like this his whole life, and the anger about having to continue being a woman trapped in a man's body has been building with time? It's not like he discovered these feelings after he married her. He's always known. This is really unfair to Cindy.
This exact thing happened to me 20 years ago. It crushed me and I've been 100% single with no dating ever since. "He" did everything he could to make me feel bad about myself so he could feel better about himself. "He" was the biggest mistake of my life.
I will tell you the same thing I tell my son we all need someone in our lives you know whether a woman finds a husband or husband finds a wife I know you've been damaged but if you have ever had food poisoning you see how terribly painful and it's so scary you're always afraid to get it again but it goes away and you get better so what I'm trying to say is just because you had food poisoning doesn't mean you stop eating you just say that is not going to happen to me again and you get up and you keep going I hope you do better
@@lucitagomez9758 it was my fault for staying in the relationship, the poor decisions I made were my fault, seriously. He never transitioned. He wanted to dress like a woman and have sex with men while dressed like a woman. It was a fetish, not gender dysphoria.
Bina Chosen True but she should've had the sense to say No. Any adult her age (and younger) should know better than to get involved in a marital issue. They need a licensed therapist who has experience with this situation.
That’s sad she stated how miserable she was in her first married then after dated lames then to be with someone who wants to be a woman that’s a hard pill to swallow
@@SmoothOperator2013 just because he is wanting to transition doesn't mean he wants to be fucked by a dick they could still have sex without a strap on
@@iainfleming9516 No because when you love someone you are HONEST WITH THEM, you put that person's needs first, because love means you respect that person ,enough to be Honest with them, so you don't get that person on FALSE PRETENSES!💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
I see both sides. Troy has always hidden he wants to be himself, he has every right to be a woman. Cindy loves her husband but she’s not a lesbian, she shouldn’t feel obligated to be with a woman.
But you can’t hide something that big going into a relationship. How would you feel if you were going to sleep with someone and you get in the bedroom and they’re like “oh yeah, by the way, I’m not what you think I am” without a doubt I’d feel disappointed, hurt, and played. Or worse, going into a marriage wanting kids.
in tht time coming out as. transgender isn't like it is today...or even 15yrs ago. he wouldve been ostracized by everyone. wouldnt be able to get a job, housing, or anything. they were shunned by society back then. if he wanted to survive and thrive he felt he had to hide his true identity...as many did. thts why now there are so many older people "coming out". they feel it's safe now. it's sad on both sides. I feel bad for her and him
@@tiffnym i don't think he was selfish. I don't think when he married her that this innate feeling would translate to anything. He isn't what you would call a gay man. He loves her and so he though I'll be happy. But if he can't be who he really is then why would you want someone depressed and suicidal. It hurts because you love them but you also have to be a little selfless and let him go too. She has a right to happiness too. As a married woman you don't think back on your ex husband and think "my trans husband was a waste of my years" like you love that person. They treated you right all those years. It sucks but no one would put this on the same level as physical domestic abuse.
@@jennifers.3818since you mentioned things had changed for the better 15 years ago, they've only been married 12 years at this point. He could have been honest about who he was to her, and let her decide for herself if she wanted a man who felt that he was really female.
How heartbreaking to build your life around someone who is not truly who they portray themselves to be. Poor woman. And how heartbreaking is it to live your entire life not being yourself. I hope the best for the both of them...
Letsmakethishappen thank you.. thank you. Like she can't help who she is. If she is trans.. that's all there is to it.. someone shouldn't have to stay what you want so that you can be happy. Whether it comes out 10 years after birth or 100 years after birth.
It's not as cut and dried as ignorant people like you would have us believe. It takes incredible courage to accept yourself, before being able to tell those you love. I pity anyone in your family who has a personal or private issue that they would love to be able to share with you, but because you are so closed minded that they can't, because they know you'll disapprove of them and make them feel even worse. Let's hope no-one close to you commits suicide because of your attitude to people not being the same as you, and you not allowing others to be open and honest about what they are experiencing.
@@anjuliambani5835 How enlightened you must be! You make it sound like my issue with this guy is what he does and judging that. BS! I have nothing against the life he chooses to live. Nor do I have issue with what makes him happy. What I DO have issue with is the fact that he is a bald faced liar and to such a selfish degree he is willing to hurt someone he claims to love and who definitely loves him. If someone chose to take the coward's way out with telling the truth, I should feel guilty when they take the selfish and coward's way out committing suicide? I pity you for not understanding that there is never an excuse for telling the truth, especially when the longer he waited the more devastated his wife would be after wasting her entire life on this garbage. I am glad that his wife didn't chose the coward's way out through all of this. My only guess is that if you put yourself in his shoes/heels and think his behavior acceptable, you are one of those people that feels that lying is never a sin of omission. Loopholes like that are the hallmarks of a deceptive mind incapable of recognizing what is right and wrong. My pity for you and your family is mutual.
lol.. white people only use salt and pepper and if we are feeling fancy garlic. yeah black people may fry their chicken ( who the fuck doesnt like fry chicken) but THEY USE ALOT OF SEASONINGS!!! ITS NOT JUST BLAND ASS FLOUR
Mr.Nighthawk 450 not anymore and I accept transsexual people, but I will never stay in a relationship with my husband if he will tell me he want to be a she. He/She wtf is can f*** himself away from me after lying to me about his/her identity 🖕🏻
Seriously? Is this how people really think? I honestly find this conversation disgusting. If you truly loved someone, you wouldn’t care how they dressed or acted. Yes, she has the right to divorce her husband, but should she really do it because she can’t stand the thought of him wanting to be a woman? That just isn’t right. She should love him for who they are. And if you seriously think being transgender is wrong, you should maybe try to see things from their perspective and not shame them for it.
"40-something years and I was just sick of it." Well she didn't ask you to lie. It's upsetting the choices people make to steal someone's life to hide their own secrets. It's unfortunate and it creates unnecessary victims. Find someone that will let you be you. It may be difficult but there are people out there.
I think it’s unfair to expect the partner to just go along with it and be okay. I’m gay and if my partner decided he was a woman, well that would be the end. I’d be supportive but I have no desire to be with a woman.
To provide a little contrast between you two, I would not leave a relationship if my significant other came out as transgender. Personally, I like people for their minds, and gender doesn't play a large role in who I find attractive and why. BUT, I completely agree that divorcing someone is an acceptable course of action. You entered the relationship expecting one thing, and now the person is changing. I'm too young to really know, but I think major life / personality changes are one of the main reasons for divorce?
I’m gay and it’d be very rough. My fiancée is the most masculine woman I’ve ever dated and I usually prefer more feminine women, aesthetically speaking. I just happened to fall in love with this woman. (She’s definitely not trans and is definitely a woman on the inside.) And I just don’t think I WOULD be happy being with a man. I deserve happiness as well. I love my fiancée so I would obviously try and be open minded - but I can’t really say exactly how I’d react until I was in the situation. I wouldn’t stop loving them - but something would be missing in my life. Or things. Like boobs. To keep it PG-13.
@@oneofthemany7322 the thing is, often trans people put on masculine or feminine traits to "blend in", so once the person changes, they DO change in personality.
" I'm sick of what I am or who I am pissing everybody off " I'm sorry but you went into a relationship with a woman who thought you were her ideal man, then years down the line you spring this on her, I think she's got every right to be pissed off with you.
Alex Thompson The LGBT community has a lot in common with religious zealots, it's either their way or the highway. Well I'm afraid I'm as stubborn as a mule & once my mind is made up there's little changing it.
100% Real Woman 4 The Throw the Bum Out Party! Im gay someone I liked and asked out was heterosexual, I thought he was gay because of the signals he'd give me but nope. Im fine with it though and it's not everyone it's the same as the idiots in other religions that are same in unacceptance.
WTH! If he's wanted to be a female since he was young. He shouldn't have gotten married to her. Did he think she was just going to be happy about it. 🙄 he should've talked to her about his struggles before they married.
He saw that Dove soap commercial, where that fruity guy said that he is his baby's Mommy. The actual Mommy just sat there and smiled, or approved of him, or something. I use Olay now.
@@alanilin239 - Yes, Dove is a facial soap and is also a company that supports Daddies pretending to be Mommies. Dove is insulting women and AS a woman (not a bro, sorry), I'm not going to spend my money on a company that insults me. Just to be clear, I'm a woman who was born with a vagina (and it's sad that this sort of clarification is needed).
I feel bad for her, man she was abused before for years. Then she finally found a rock a man she trusted. And then he kinda betrayed her. Instead of telling her upfront, he kept it a secret and broke her heart later
+fick wick That's what I have been saying from the beginning. The wife can't run away from the husband because she is too old and too ugly to find another man. As fas as her husband becoming a woman, she will just have to grin and bear it.
*I understand her. Imagine being with someone for over a decade and then they tell you they're not what you thought they were. Living with someone and getting used to them and then losing them. I would cry so hard.* Because you know, he's alive and well, but you lose your partner as if he passed away. Really sad.
TRENCH TRASH 🗑 It’s not lying. We live as who we have to be, and we do the best we can with what we have and try not to get murdered. Eventually, for some of us, we find out that we’d rather die than live another day as the persona we built to protect ourselves and the people around us.
He/she has the right to transition. She has the right to not want to date him. As a female to male transgender, I have been rejected by people once hey find out i’m trans and they are interested in me. It’s okay if they’re not comfortable being in a relationship with me as long as they respected me and my pronouns. They are both beautiful people and deserve kindness, both of them will suffer but they will get through it. He will be a beautiful woman.
Helena Godinho NATURAL LAW People have a basic, ethical intuition that certain behaviors are wrong because they are unnatural. We perceive intuitively that the natural sex partner of a human is another human, not an animal. The same reasoning applies to the case of homosexual behavior. The natural sex partner for a man is a woman, and the natural sex partner for a woman is a man. Thus, people have the corresponding intuition concerning homosexuality that they do about bestiality-that it is wrong because it is unnatural. Natural law reasoning is the basis for almost all standard moral intuitions. For example, it is the dignity and value that each human being naturally possesses that makes the needless destruction of human life or infliction of physical and emotional pain immoral. This gives rise to a host of specific moral principles, such as the unacceptability of murder, kidnapping, mutilation, physical and emotional abuse, and so forth.
I see both of their perspectives. She hid her true identity and presented herself as a man. It's not fair to go into a serious relationship under false pretenses. That said, she had little to no choice but to remain a man. Air and space engineer? Damn, nice.
@@cinematictheatre2577 it's not a mental illness so please stop useing that one.. it's was disproved as mental illness.. since your obsessed with calling yourself spider man a made up character who's the one with a mental illness?
@@athenaanffinson4161 what does your degree have to do with this situation. By antagonizing others to get "educated" does not give you brownie points in convincing them to change their view. There's a difference between bullying and disagreeing with someone. In no way did I bully someone by my statement. You however are the bully by feeling morally superior from your comments. Someone with a master's degree should be wiser. If you truly wish to educate others simply leave a link to a scientific article with published studies. I'll gladly be fine with that. This is the problem happening in the states. No one is placing the effort in having a discussion with the other side that will not end with violence,riots,insults thrown at each other. It won't get better if both sides stay in an echo chamber with their ideologies
gender dysphoria is absolutely miserable, if transitioning will make Troy happy, then Troy should not be guilted into not transitioning. if Troy's wife is having trouble coming to terms with transitioning, then she needs to move on. both people will be miserable if the wife stays with her closeted husband, or if the Troy transitions and the wife stays.
teethglitter She has said he should transition it seems but he knows it will end his marriage so hasn't. At least it appears that way. Cindy would move on if he became a woman.
A. Smith that's not true at all, that's an incorrect claim. gender dysphoria is absolutely terrible and unbearable, that's why people transition. it's so fucking difficult to keep it in for so long. i hope she transitions and makes a new, much better life for herself. she doesn't need the wife's validation.
He has to expect some backlash, it wasn’t fair to his wife that he told her a lie and lived it so long. But he expects her to just be understanding and deal with it. Not ok, he started the marriage off on a lie
But he never said that, he never said that he expected no backlash, I’m sure he did, if he was hiding that for like 50 years I’m sure he knew that it takes a toll just like it took a toll on him
Because society knows that you can't magically change your gender. Just like you can't magically change your age to take advantage of senior citizen discounts at stores and resturants.
Honestly if I was the wife, I would support him 100%. But, I wouldn't be able to be with him anymore because I would feel lied to. I would still love him as a friend though 😊
Average Potato In practice it will probably be a lot harder to face the man you’ve spent most of your adult life with who you love deeply and go back to being “friends”.
Sammantha sandoval I never said he didn't deserve to be happy either, but acts as if it's all about me, me, me . You should watch the whole documentary, it's great, but he sucks.
Forrest Allen making that statement does not make someone racist. But your statement makes you an idiot for not knowing the difference between being racist, bigotry, stereotypes, prejudice, Discrimination, etc.
I'm trans, therefore you must not be angry at me for breaking apart the family you must be proud of me... No, that's not how it works. She is aloud to be pissed off you lied for so long lol
Exactly, I dated someone who was in the closet, I told him to just be honest. I'd rather not waste my time and he not waste his and I would be happy for him.
You guys aren't thinking of how hard it is to come out as trans tho, especially for MTF and being old. You heard it from Troy themself, their mother treated them like shit for their entire life, of course they'll keep it a secret, they're afraid of that happening again. Troy would've most likely been killed if they came out to anyone back then, that was a normal end for transgender people back then. Sure, the time has changed and it's easier for younger generations to come out but it's not for older people who are still stuck in situations like this, surrounded by people who don't understand it and are basically pushed into a corner like this where everyone is against them. Cindy is acting like transitioning will ruin everything for him and she's horrible to act as soon as they do it she won't even consider knowing who Troy is.
Segrio, I raped a woman and forced her to get an abortion, should I hide that from my fiance because it's hard to tell someone the truth or should I be upfront about my past? After all I thought marriage was about being honest with one another.
@@minarooda He needed to get his behind kicked for going into a relationship with a woman knowing what he knew of himself. He's lucky that's all Wanda did!
It's a horrible situation overall. I can't imagine going through this. She's questioning the last 10 years of their life together. He's excited about who he wants to be, while expecting her to stand by him out of love. I wonder how everything worked out for them.
@@minarooda I tried to sympathize with Troy's position in the beginning, but the more I observed his behavior, the more disgusted I became. He's acts like an entitled spoiled rich kid. I hope she moved on and left him.
How does someone do this....if you know you want to be another sex then don’t marry someone and then tell them...it is sooooooo very selfish. He was selfish...he knew before he married her...how can you do that to someone
It might be hard to understand if you've never had to live as someone/something you weren't. When society continually tells you you're wrong for who you know yourself to be, you internalize and learn to cope...and do things that often end up hurting others. Someday society will accept everyone as they are and people won't have to hide.
Erica Gamet YAY!! Then i have decided that starting tomorrow I am going to be a 5'10" 115# beautiful multibillionaire supermodel. Ok? Oh goody, I cant wait to be what I've always felt I should be!
@@EricaGamet that is the most selfish excuse I have ever read. There can never be a good enough reason to play with someone's heart and feelings. Just don't get married or be in a relationship wasting other people's time, emotions and energy. You do this kind of nonsense to someone's heart and then you start playing victim??? Don't be delusional.
@@EricaGamet I was reading all the responses to your comment, and thought I would mention, that I get exactly what you are saying. It amazes me that we live in a society where everyone feels the need to hide themselves, yet those who feel the need to hide the most, are the people who get the least amount of sympathy for having done so; they need allies such as yourself. Don't let people who have no idea what there talking about stop you from encouraging others to think more critically and with a bit more compassion. Such discourse is needed. I apologize if my comment is a bit sappy, but I've noticed it is very difficult to talk rationally about transgender issues, and figured you were probably in need of little encouragement after the ridiculous responses you received.
Cindy doesn't deserve this. She thought this man would be her rock for rest of her life now he telling her that he wants to be a women. I agree with Cindy. I hope Cindy can find a real loving guy that would be her rock for rest of her life.
OR....maybe she could stop believing someone outside of herself will "rock her world" and just start rocking her own world....sadly, we live in a culture that says something outside of ourselves will somehow give us this great fulfillment and make our lives some magical event....nope....we need to do it for ourselves only...yes, external stuff can provide some pleasure for sure but if that external is taken away we are still left content, complete and OK without it!!
Sierra Stewart she was with her first husband 40 years ago. They looked like they were at least in their 40s when they started dating. He knew who he was at that age.
“I’ve felt like this my whole life yet I still decided to enter into this relationship under false pretences and lead you on into believing that me and our relationship was genuine and I put your feelings at risk for my own self gain and have only decided to tell you know that I know you love me deeply” is a transition of what he said.
How exactly was this self gain? She just said she felt like she had to keep it to herself for so long and couldn't live as her true self. Do you think that felt good to her? If it didn't then it wasn't self gain. It was the by-product of a society resistant to accepting trans people for so long, and hopefully as time goes by there will be less stories like this as people will be able to come out earlier in life. The situation isn't black and white like you're depicting it as.
@@goingunder2548 It really is black & white, though: hiding such a massive secret for so long was a highly selfish, immoral choice. The fact that it's "really hard" doesn't actually make it complicated.
This is a matter so complicated, I can't comment on it. It's not my place. I just hope they're happy in the end, and live their lives as best they can.
When you get married, you can't just walk away. You have to be there for your wife or husband through sickness and health. Thick & thin. If they cant work it out then fine but you cant leave when it gets hard
It's not as cut and dried as ignorant people like Linda Casey would have you believe. It takes incredible courage to accept yourself, before being able to tell those you love. I pity anyone in Linda Casey's family who has a personal and private issue that they would love to be able to share with her, but they can't, because they know she will disapprove of them and make them feel bad. Let's hope no-one close to Linda commits suicide because they were never allowed to be open and honest.
@@anjuliambani5835 Dear child, I agree with you. It DID take incredible courage for me to accept myself and face the world. If you only KNEW my history .. you certainly wouldn't pity those around me. Bless you 🌹
@@tnlwithtrixiekat478 Being brave when it's easier to be afraid IS much harder, but it's the more honorable way .. I know .. I've spent a lifetime proving it. 🌹
This situation was created because of him living a lie... if he knew he wanted to be a woman then he should have stayed alone until he was brave enough to be honest with himself or anyone he brought into the situation!!!
Oh come on lets be practical, as humans we are not wired to be alone. Everyone wants someone to love and be loved by, plus maybe he figured he'd hide true identity for the rest of his life. Nobody thinks or goes through life the way you would, and your way is NOT the right way. So pull your head out of your ass.
@sarah sherrer I'm a woman and a lesbian myself. I find your assumptions both hilarious and repulsive. Transgenderism is part fetish especially for older men. I bet he has felt emasculated all his life cos his wife is amazing and that developed into a fetish for him. Many women who oppose transgenderism are women AND lesbians.
@@icedmocha5264I personally think lesbian, gay and bi people who oppose transgender people are far worse then straight people who oppose them. You know what being hated is like, bullied, called names etc. Why do you choose to hate, with your knowledge of being hated? When you know and realize, there are people out in the world wanting nothing less then our complete and total annihilation. It's like being for Hitler while being Jewish, makes absolutely no sense to me. I know what what it's like and understand how it feels, I'd never join Neo Nazis or the KKK, because it would be very hard to do to others what's be done to me.
I went through the same thing with my first marriage. It’s hard to see both sides without seeing the pain. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It’s awful. 7 years later and I’m still struggling. I’m lucky though I found love again and so did my ex.
@@skye.s2515 I don't get what u are saying u do realize that he been the one hiding his gender identity from her right so that kind of does make him the bad guy. Because she basically married to a guy that don't want to be a guy she waste her life on him when he could have told her this a long time ago before getting married.
Spoken like a true adolescent. Sacrificing one's own selfish desires that make you "happy", for the benefit of others, is called being a member of a family. It's a trade-off. One trades self-centered desires for meaningful relationships. One trades emotional happiness for spiritual fulfillment.
He shouldn’t drag is wife into it .. If he know all the time , he should be honest about it from the beginning ..and let her choose if she want to get involved with him or not .,
I mean if the love of my life wanted to be a girl, i would be sad aswel. I am straight... and i would of course understand his choise but i cannot date him. Then the love of my life is nomore..
Sara Philips but if someone truly is the love of your life and you cannot or will not love anybody more than you love them then shouldn't they continue being the love of your life during/after they transition? You love then for their being/soul/heart not for their appearance.
kitkatkittykatt But if she loves a man and he is no longer a man why should she stay in a relationship that doesn't make her happy. She shouldn't have to change her sexuality because he may transition into a female. You can say it's about personality and soul etc but changing gender affects a relationship and she has the right to not want to be with a woman.
It’s not fair or acceptable in any way shape or form for him to expect her to just get over it. He’s been deceiving her their entire relationship. There is nothing wrong with being transgender, there’s nothing wrong about coming out as a trans person after a lifetime of hiding it, but it is so wrong for him to just expect her to get over it. You’ve had a lifetime to come to terms with it, she hasn’t. You’re telling her that you’re not the person she’s in love with, you have no right to be angry that she isn’t interested in you as a woman, especially if she’s straight.
This whole thing is so messed up because these women wasted their lives with these guys I could see if you came out and said these are the thoughts I'm having in the feelings and they decided to stay but to wait years and years to say something something you've known and felt your entire life it's insane and unfair
Nghtstorm161 It's a guy. Am I really the only person who sees what transgender really is? You're not a girl Troy.. you're definitely a guy. You just don't fit the stereotypes of a guy, and that's okay. They're made up lol. But feeling the stereotypes of a girl doesn't make you a girl, it makes you a girly guy in societies world. Take away social gender norms and you'd never even think about you being a girl lol. Just be yourself, don't think of yourself as a gender... You're a guy, now be you, whatever that may be. Also I recommend some testosterone. And I still don't understand WTF transgenders are doing infecting the opposite hormone lol wtf??? It's going to make this issue worse not fix it. What kind of doctors do that??
I dont blame her if my wife said this shit to me and tried to transition into a man, ( which is not possible no matter how many body mods you do) it would be over very quickly.
@@ellabias8224 I mean the dictionary states otherwise... I have never understood people that say that. I support LGBTQ+ not to mention my sister is lesbian, but how are they different when they are classed as synonyms in the dictionary?
@A random human being on the internet some people may not be comfortable with their identity because of their upbringing, their past, or whatever. trans women especially receive a lot of hate and that can make coming out for them even more terrifying for them. its not like coming out with your sexual oreintation because this actually affects the people in their life
CoolKidxx07 Dude you have a picture of Tentacion, a fucking abuser and total thug who was romanticized by his dipshit fans. Its time to shut the fuck up.
We're talking about the human body and wanting to change things which aren't possible. Your wishy-washy example about vanilla and chocolate isn't fitting for this topic.
Troy obviously didn't want to tell her because he doesn't want to risk losing her. It is a bit selfish to want your spouse to stay with you after transitioning. She clearly doesn't want to date a transgendered woman. Lying to her all these years didn't help either. As much as this bothers him, she has the right to leave. It is either her or his gender identity. As much as he loves her, she can't accept him for who is. Just have to move on.
@@upnorthboogie3573 He's a damn liar. He thinks he is a woman and married a woman. They spent years together probably had kids too and he wants to be a wife? What type of logic is that? His wife even said she is not a lesbian.
@@OutlawKING111 thats what men do....all the time. Women must be strong and be ready to throw their lives away for silly selfish men(or trans women)... but we will always are on the lgbt side. That's just how it is. No one cares if a woman throws her life away as long as a man can get surgery to get a vagina or get married to another man AFTER he impregnated her and was wuth her for 60 years first.
I feel so sad for him, you can just see how conflicted he is. He is in love with the woman of his dreams but he’s realizing time is running out and he wants to be his authentic self. I believe that Troy needs to be themselves because no one should have to deal with so much pain :-( my heart goes out to you Troy. As an ftm I recognize it’s A LOT harder for trans women to transition and it’s really not fair
This is so hard. You can’t really pick a side. She’s wrong for not trying to understand what he is saying about how he’s feeling, but he’s wrong for not telling her in the beginning so she could have a choice on wether to stay or not.
I completely understand repressing and not being able to open up. But I’m allowed to have my opinion on the fact that I don’t think it’s fair to hide a significant part of who you are when it will affect the other persons life as well. Here’s an example. If two people are dating for years and everything is going so well. Then out of nowhere your significant other tells you I have a child. That, to me, is unfair because it’s something that will affect both parties.
As a straight man I am totally and 100% in love with my girlfriend. I am 100% attracted to women - all the physical, cultural, emotional factors included. If my girlfriend, whom I believe to be a woman (the gender I am attracted to) decides to come out now after 5 years of dating and say they want to live as a man, I would have to break up with her for her to transition. It would break my heart because she would have been living as something she is not, and her new “self” would not be attracted to me. Imagine after years of marriage and kids how much worse the situation would be...I feel like this trans woman and woman really have fallen into an unfortunate situation
My heart goes out to both ladies. The thing is you do not choose being transgender, no one would choose all of this pain. These feelings simply won't go away.
agreed. it's a sad situation for both, but at the same time, society never forced her to get married. she knew that she always wanted to be female, but she married someone who she couldn't be open with...why?
This woman fascinates me. Not only did she have the selflessness and love to stay in that miserable marriage for the sake of their children, but she was a freaking air and space engineer! I cannot imagine how it would feel to be in a terrible marriage for so long only to be free from that and discover the love of your life to then be blindsided by the fact that he is in fact desiring to personify a woman. I wish the very best for both of them, for Troy that he does what makes him happy while realizing that he will lose his relationship. And for Cindy that she would stay strong and find true happiness.
Really God made you to be a male that's what you're supposed to be a male God made you to be a female that's what you're supposed to be you can't change the DNA and you honey
Honestly would be so sad to get to this point in your marriage, thinking you’re going to retire and grow old together and even die together….just to have it taken from you like this. Can’t be mad at either of them. Just unfortunate for both sides.
At the risk of stating the obvious,Troy made one mistake and should have told Cindy,that he wanted to become a woman and was in fact a woman.However,it is entirely understandable why he didn't because transexuals have suffered so much vitriol at large and had no support systems then.He seems like a really good person essentially and maybe Cindy can forgive him for this deception, after all ,it's a hard hand to be transsexual.Wouldn't it be great if Cindy could forgive Troy and rediscover her love for him after he transitions.Most people couldn't do this,being so attached to form , but I'm sure an evolved spirit could transcend this issue and realize it is the soul connection that matters and where all love comes from.
