I’m Overweight but Can’t Stop Stress-Eating 

Most realistic call that probably a lot of people can relate to. Wish her the best.

I identify with the caller. Food is my “drug of choice” when I feel the need to stuff my feelings and self-medicate. I do this when my life is out of balance. When I make appropriate life changes my excess food and sugar consumption go way down. The more I live authentically in all areas of my life, the healthier I eat. The more I am in touch with my feelings, the more I process them and express them appropriately, the healthier the choices I make around food. Also, I’ve heard more than one personal trainer say that 80% of weight loss is about what you eat, not how much you exercise. That is true in my case.

Don’t sleep on sleep! As a sleep tech I’ve seen lots of workaholic adults struggling with obesity who are physically active and have fairly healthy diets, but in the end can’t lose any weight because they are getting inadequate sleep. Sleep deprivation completely throws your hormones out of balance and can even prevent you from losing weight, by way of overproduction of ghrelin or many other factors. Not saying that’s the issue here, but anyone over the age of 30 who’s on the heavier side would owe it to themselves to get a sleep study done.

She seems like the type who puts everyone else first, and she gets the scraps of what left of herself. Until she puts her health first and makes fitness a priority, she will never lose the weight she wants to lose. If she can prioritize 30 minutes to an hour a day 5-6 days week, she can see a change. But she has to get herself to the point where she realizes it's ok to put everyone else to side for 30 minutes to an hour every day so she can take care of herself. But until that happens, nothing will change.

The question Delony didn’t ask was how the 2nd shift was divided between the caller and her husband. Most women struggle with self care while trying to keep up with a job, childcare, housework, cooking, grocery shopping, errands, and the mental load of having children. Overeating when you are exhausted and overwhelmed is very common for women that are unhappy because they are stressed. Maybe her husband needs to assume more responsibly for childcare and home care if it isn’t happening so she can focus on her health.

I used to be this lady and then I realized sugar, grains, and processed foods were keeping me obese and over 200 lbs. When I took grains and sugar out, I had no desire to over eat and lost 30 lbs in 3 months and then went on to lose 50 lbs. I always thought I just had a food addiction or something. But after losing 50 lbs, I don't think I did, it was just my body craving more and more sugar. The more sugar I would eat (it's in everything), the more I would want more and more sugar. Then one day someone suggested I take out sugar/grains/ processed foods and eat mostly whole foods. Now I just eat whole foods and use mostly paleo recipes. I bought a huge grain free/ no added sugar recipe book and made myself only eat recipes out of that book. I eat around 90% vegetables/ fruit, 5% nuts and seeds, and then 5% or less meat. It feels great to be healthy and able to play/ keep up with my 3 kids 6 and under!! I wouldn't wish obesity on anyone, I was so miserable!

Caroline you can do this! Thank you for calling in because this is what I needed to hear and I’m crying while I watched this! You will be in my prayers! 😁

I’ve lost 60 lbs during COVID! It’s worth it! Keep going!!!

Caroline, I'm in Philadelphia too, center city specifically, I have the same problem. Do you want to be accountability partners? I want to start the new year better.

I would really like to show my wife this video, but I am scared to death of her reaction. She would not be able to rationally process this, and would be SO hurt that I felt it necessary to show her. She has gained 100lbs since we had our first child four years ago. I don't care, but she is devastated mentally and punishes herself all the time. I'm so worried about her

I love Dr John's comments about his wife being a serial killer in regards to oreos lol

Dr. John- I know this is an old post but I want you to know you are helping more people than you know.

This woman seems to be very grounded and realistic. One of the very few calls. She should be proud of just that as most people tend to live obliviously ignorant. She can do this…she just has to work hard at it.

I needed to hear this call, I hope he takes more calls about being overweight. Thank you

This caller really resonated with me. Being a mom to young children and working full-time is so hard. I see my 20 month old maaaybe 2 hours a day M-F. That's insane to me. And those 2 hours are not great quality time.. it's rushed time doing morning routine and night routine. When she said she never feels caught up like there's always something that needs to be done. How true. It's overwhelming at times.

After going into the military, moving far away from friends, family, any sustained or lasting support system, I turned increasingly to ice cream, cookies, candy, etc. Those foods replaced those lost relationships living 4,500 miles away. That was eight years ago. The pandemic had me confined largely to a 50 mile radius within the state where I'm stationed. Even more, I turned to food. It made me realize more what's important. While I've chased service, benefits, retirement, for me, real relationships supercede everything else. I am working more diligently and focused intently on losing the extra weight.

I am in the middle of this transformation. I am happy to hear that I am. Not the only one that goes through this

We're rooting for you Caroline

This is going to sound unrelated, but I bet that if you simplified your home to the minimum of what you use and love you would feel less run ragged. Watch “Minimal Mom’s Silent To Do list”. I eliminated 90% of toys, 70% of clothes, and so on. It took a year. I am not spending every second managing our stuff so I have time to cook and exercise as a single mom of two and as an executive director of a nonprofit.

I hope she keeps calling back. I'd love to know how she's doing and her progress.

Thank you for making this hard call! I needed to hear this and am right there with you. Time to get ourselves back!! I'm cheering for you Caroline.

I think a lot of people needed to hear this, and kudos to Caroline for her courage!

I've gained a pound a month since the pandemic started. It's hard to motivate toward any change, because life is so freaking miserable and disappointing now.

Very well done by John. Obesity that goes back to childhood, trauma and addiction processes is such a complex thing and he never trivialized it like it's easy or straightforward 👍 This woman needs plenty of psychological support and analyse all the things food does for her and regulates for her in life before she can begin to start making changes. It's very very hard and I wish her luck 🙏

Caroline, you go girl! You can do this! You have such a musical voice and clearly so much bounce inside you. Remember to give yourself as much bounce and cheer as you give others. I feel for you. My sister is a cookie monster like Dr. Delony. It's as if she has food anxiety like my rescue cats. I assure you that, unlike the cats, my sister was not found in a parking lot in Brooklyn,. She has discovered that not having temptation around works best. Cookies and chips, as well as other carbs are super tempting, yes? Learning about herself and giving herself permission to assert her authority about what is in her house has been great. Treating herself with respect. Getting enough sleep. She does not have children, so her stress is not totally on a par with yours. I have to say -- what's worked wonders for my sister's sense of self has been to work out with a trainer once a week and then push herself to go to the gym on her own. She is so excited when she goes to the gym now, she can hardly wait. Working out has changed her body, and has demonstrated that she is in control of that change. She's the one doing the workouts and she's the one experiencing the results. My sister is beautiful and always was beautiful. She feels better about body, and is healthier, and most importantly I think she feels so much like HERSELF. (And ironically, she actually does have a glandular problem - and so committing to taking her thyroid medication every day, at the same time, rather than 'forgetting' or pushing it aside, has been part of the component for her treating herself as she should. ) You can be the agent of change in your own life. Be kind to you. No blame, shame or 'shoulds.' Rock on with your bad self!

I can relate to this so much I'm moved to tears...

You can do it Caroline!! 👍🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻❤️

Dr Delony, I can't tell you how powerful that message was that you just gave this caller. Thank you.

Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne (free podcast) and the paid membership that goes along with it are helping me work through a lot of my thoughts and feelings that are leading me to overeat. Earlier today, I noticed I was wanting to eat when I knew I wasn't hungry. I asked myself why and then realized I was feeling bad about myself as a mom because I had just seen someone's kid do something that my older kid can't do yet. My brain wanted me to be happy again and suggested sugar as an option.

I needed this episode. We are rooting for you!! Sending so much loving, healing, and joyful energy to everyone

God Bless you Caroline. 🙏🏽

Thank you. I’m not the person who called but the fact that we share the same name made it hit home all the more. I lost 50lbs before covid hit and over the past two years I gained it all back due to stress eating. I’m realizing now that it’s a not just a food problem. It’s an emotional problem. I got work to do this year and I’m looking forward to learning how to love and take care of my body and myself better. To the Caroline who called, thank you for being so vulnerable. You are so loved and so worth being well! We can do this!💪🏻👊🏻

You sound so cool to be around with. I wish you the best.

I want to forward this video to my dad. This caller has verbalised the specific challenges I believe my dad has faced with his weight, honestly since he and my mom started having kids 30 years ago. He works, raised a family and he's a fixer for everybody in his life, and Dr. John has made me realise that maybe he doesn't value himself enough to be motivated to lose weight. And the weight is making him miserable. But how do I send him this video without it being incredibly hurtful?

Such insightful coaching here. I have benefited so much from your wisdom and vulnerability, while you give your gift. I am taking so much from this call. As you step into your year, celebrate the difference you are making. Can’t wait to support you in your book launch. Blessings to you and your family!

Thanks Delony! This helps. -homeschooling mom of 6 who wants to get rid of this excess weight

Thank you! I needed this today. :-)

As a hardcore sugar lifelong addict. The only thing that works for me is a relaxed mealplan. Low carb is the way to detox your sugar addiction. I don't know how much weight I've lost because I threw away my scale. I've lost a ton of weight. When I'm forced to exercise I do better than being flexible on myself. I'm a depression & anxiety suffering person. I'm alot better now!!

#1 Eat real food processed foods are terrible for us. #2 Get rid of sugary foods/drinks/grains #3 you will lose weight. If this trucker can you can too! I suggest looking/listening to kevin rutherford on wensdays on sirius for health wensdays. Wimhoff breathing/meditation to lower stress.

This video is hitting so close to home. Wow.

Relatable. I’m obese. My husband is a gym manager.

Unfortunately weight gives way to many health problems. I personally believe that it is an addiction. Why else would you keep doing it when you are not hungry or genuinely want to lose weight. It is important for people to get help and support to lose it.

I started seeing both a therapist and a registered dietitian who understood female ADHD. ADHD types tend to use food to stimulate and that’s why there’s a high link between obesity and ADHD, same with obesity and other mental illness. ADHD people don’t build habits, it’s part of the brain chemistry. Instead, we need to build responsive systems and external triggers to get us to do desirable behaviors. Working with both an RD and a therapist has helped me a TON in this regard. Oh, and getting medicated. The ADHD meds stopped my food noise almost immediately. My life hasn’t been the same since starting them 3 months ago.

Caroline you can do this! Remember baby steps going in the direction you want. Those habits will stick. John make great points and gave you amazing insights and clarity. Follow Mel Robbins too. Her book the High 5 habit is free on RU-vid. The best advice I can give is to look at losing one lb at a time and trying not to say I have x amount of lbs to lose. The smaller the goals the more attainable they’ll be. Also, just walking and increasing your daily steps will make an impact. That time can be your time for you. Focusing on your health over the weight on the scale is also a good mindset to have. I wish you the best ✋🙌

What's the update on this call? How is Caroline doing?

Most obese ppl r in HUGE HUGE denial, the fact that she realizes she is and can say it out loud is a huge deal in itself. Get to it girl, you got this. Say it everyday till ur not anymore. My best advice would be dont meal portion small because you are heavy and u need more food to feel full. Since you are heavier, u also burn more calories in a day… so you CAN eat enough. Eat a good amount, but of whole foods. So you dont binge on junk.

I needed this.

Yes! Of “joke” that my self control is not buying it at the store. Seriously though, my self control is not buying the junk food.

Recommend DR A’s Habits of Health book.

I needed this!!

Appreciate this content so much!!

Caroline, get a nutrition and fitness coach! Dr is NOT necessary, or even their specialty. Life is going to happen every single day. I firmly believe in having not an app on your phone but a person in your corner that can help you navigate all of these things and hold you accountable. Someone that can actually help you think through these decisions and regain your awareness around food. Also a therapist ! It sounds like you are disassociating (edit, John agreed!) around dinner time which is making you feel like you don't even remember doing these things.. We can get a handle on that! Also, yes. We are perpetually behind. You're never going to complete as many things as we think we can or should be able to do in a day because we are only one person! "The laundry will never be done" And that you cannot do enough laundry that you will never have to do laundry again. Today is a new day. We're going to have to raise your protein considerably, And figure out where the holes are in your healthy fats and healthy carbohydrates. You can absolutely feel satiated and lose weight. You got this!

"Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us" is a book by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Michael Moss that explores how the food industry manipulates consumers' taste buds with the combination of salt, sugar, and fat.0 Moss cites examples from Kraft, Coca-Cola, Lunchables, Frito-Lay, Nestlé, Oreos, and Capri Sun, where scientists calculate the combination of sugar, fat, and salt for convenience food that is guaranteed to have an optimal appeal for the customer. The book won the James Beard Foundation Award for Writing and Literature in 2014 and was a number one New York Times bestseller in 2013.

A lot of focus can be on what folks are eating -- keep a keen eye on what you are Drinking.

You need to change your environment. Don't bring wine into the house. Stop eating sugar. Go through your shelves and toss those things into the trash. Learn to cook high protein food. Sugar is addictive. Sugar is not needed by the human body. You can do this.

I need to call Dr. Delony. But I want to be anonymous. Is that possible?

Covid loves overweight people but we can’t say that Bc it would be considered Fatphobic.

Wish I could find the follow up call!

5:52 😂😂😂 this is the funniest thing I heard in awhile

John, if I ask my doctor for the genetic testing u had done what kind of test would I ask for?

I am obese too. Overeat.

Dear Dr. John I would like to know, have you really eaten a full bag of Oreo’s more than once? I did it one time! I learned my lesson! I will never do that again!

Oreos are my gummy candy! 😅

Does the data actually correlate with obesity or does it correlate with conditions that correrelate with obesity?

Respect

Get a trainer as a kick start. Walk a lot during the day. Take the steps. Park far away from the store. Build in little things in your life to move a lot. Don’t eat cookies everyday. Say, I’m gonna eat this entire pack of Oreos today, but tomorrow and the next 5 days I’m not going to have any.

very relatable, but not sure the advice is great... was basically just " go see a professional" which ... ya ok, not accessible to everyone .

I disagree. Lack of knowledge about nutrition is also part of the process. Once I started reading about proper nutrition I lost 30 pounds. Good luck to her.

She needs therapy needs to find out why she over eats. What’s “eating” her literally!

14:01 she does not need a Dr!!! Come on JD! WHAT THE HELL IS A DOCTOR GOING TO DO??? Go get A personal trainer! Someone who is passionate about helping you! A doctor isn't going to be in the gym with you! Doctor is just going to tell you more of the things you need to do, and maybe put her on ozempic or a gastric sleeve which she does not need!! She needs someone who can be there with her in the trenches! Even an online coach that she can meet with via zoom meetings is going to be a hundred times better than a doctor! I'm really blown away that he would suggest a medical doctor over someone who helps people with motivation and fat loss for a living! I really hate to see people pointed to a medical solution when really what they need is care, support, accountability and CBT! The medical medical is not going to do anything for her psychological which we all agree is a huge source. Therapy yes but a doctor? no! I have been A fitness professional since 2010 and I have more than 18 years of experience. I know what I'm talking about and I have helped hundreds of people. I'm currently on hiatus from coaching so I'm not trying to sell anything... Well I am saying that the number of people I have seen helped by doctors is infinitely smaller than the people I have seen helped in the gym with people helping them lift the way to do the work and plan the meals!!!

Well, I am happy to see that she at least realizes that she is overweight because she is eating too much food. That is a big first step and now that she is done that, she can in theory make progress in losing weight. Many people refuse to acknowledge this simple fact and blame everything on their hormones or just about anything else but eating too much.

Scripture says Taste and See the Goodness of the Lord, not taste and see my food addiction. Welcome God into your journey as one of your friends.

Holy hell.

Go Chiefs!

She has hasHAS to stop drinking

1:56 wow! That’s a beast among men

😭😭😭😭Me too I'm fat and gross

"This level of obesity is beyond my level of expertise 10 lanes over" is just another way of saying "woah, how fat are you!?"

Literally no one makes you eat. The only one putting food in your mouth is you.

She'll change nothing. Anyone who complains and justifies these much is too weak to fight.

Stress eating? Lol.... it's called self control ladies. 5 ft 2 and 244 is absolutely ridiculous. Women need to stop being so irresponsible with their weight. This is one of the main reason men leave marriages.

Caller was selfish and ate her kids food because of stress. That's bad parenting. I don't care about what insults I receive. I stated my opinion.

In his new book, Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Michael Moss goes inside the world of processed and packaged foods. Moss begins his tale back in 1999, when a vice president at Kraft addressed a meeting of top executives of America's biggest food companies. His topic: the growing public health concerns over the obesity epidemic and the role packaged and processed foods were playing in it. Michael Mudd stated his case, pleading with his colleagues to pay attention to the health crisis and consider what companies could do to hold themselves accountable. According to Moss, the first response came from the CEO of General Mills. "[He] got up and made some very forceful points from his perspective," Moss tells Fresh Air's Dave Davies, "and his points included this: We at General Mills have been responsible not only to consumers but to shareholders. We offer products that are low-fat, low-sugar, have whole grains in them, to people who are concerned about eating those products. "Bottom line being, though, that we need to ensure that our products taste good, because our accountability is also to our shareholders. And there's no way we could start down-formulating the usage of salt, sugar, fat if the end result is going to be something that people do not want to eat." In Salt Sugar Fat, Moss details how those three ingredients became key to the success of processed and packaged foods - and how they are fueling the nationwide obesity epidemic. Employing scientists to dissect elements of the palate and tweak ratios of salt, sugar and fat to optimize taste, the processed food industry, Moss says, has hooked consumers on their products the same way the cigarette industry hooked smokers on nicotine. Since that meeting in 1999, when executives declined to craft an industrywide standard for more healthful products, some companies, like Kraft, have tackled the issue unilaterally, altering recipes to cut down on salt, sugar and fat. Moss' research, however, indicates that government regulation may be necessary to implement industrywide standards in the interest of public health.

@mindpumpshow