Typically hoarding disorder is obsessive-compulsive in nature and triggered by intense trauma. It's horrible. It's a mental disorder that needs help and treatment... and cleaning up can be part of that help/treatment.
We need more research on hoarding, we currently don’t know how to really fix the issue but it’s theorized group therapy and shaming the disgusting habits will eventually get people to feel compelled to keep up with these habits maybe closely monitoring their cleanliness as a form of keeping them maintaining their habits? My dad is a hoarder, my mom has the cleaning type of OCD, and I have an extreme case of I don’t clean my room unless someone else will see my room but once I’m in the groove I love it I just can’t make myself start unless there’s a compelling force making me begin. There’s definitely a genetic and environmental component to the issue but how to solve it i haven’t a clue…
Let's be for real, though. Every single freaking setback, failure, or procrastination in a person life is a "mental issue" 🙄 come on now. Her reason for this behavior was caused by the death of her mother may she rest in peace. Yes, a loved ones death is always a sad thing, but it's part of life. You mourn, you sleep for days, you don't eat, you disassociate maybe for a few months, but darn it you move on, life goes on... we all know this. Death is part of life. This is not a mental issue. What I believe is that maybe her mom did everything for her EVERYTHING, so now that mom isn't around, she just won't pick up where her mom left off. That is not a mental issue, sorry. Not everything or everyone's lack of self care or love is a mental issue.
Oh my gosh! Once having reached a point of defeat?? I cannot begin to imagine the dopamine and fresh air and possibilities of waking up to the reset!? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙌🏼 literal life _saving_
I couldn't agree more ❤ ... I'm literally clawing my way out of deep depression right now due to trauma. No one at work or in my personal life has a clue of the pain I'm little by little healing through with God's help - I couldn't do it otherwise on my own. This lady is truly an earth angel 💕 👼
Have a squizz at 'executive function issues' to help yourself gain a bit of understanding and feel a bit better..? Understanding of the wiring and knowing that you are by no means alone or even 'unusual' can help shift the limited energy usage from wasting any on self doubt and questioning. Some validation that- personally, i do struggle, and that's okay. And take it from there... It's like people being hard on other people for having hayfever, simply because they haven't had it and don't understand, then this person is stuffy and itchy and now feeling poorly about themselves, _triggering_ mental health issues, instead of just dealing with the antihistamines and clearing the sinuses!? Essentially, F*** them all and focus inward on what are the personal requirements for getting your own vehicle back on the road...♡♡♡ Be kind to that little kid inside. x
Because those people know in their hearts they aren’t doing a damn thing for anyone but themselves and seeing videos like this makes them feel bad about themselves and selfish people definitely don’t like that.
Either they weren't raised with any or they are not capable of compassion. If it's never been taught to you or expressed to you or if no one has ever been treated with I doubt 100 of them are going to be able to have it for others.
@@WillemPennthere are mental illnesses that can't be cured, only to adapt to. My mom had schizophrenia ("had" not because it's cured, she died), I have an anxiety disorder and a clinical depression. It's something that is going to be with me for the rest of my life. There's no curing it. Plus, I might be on the spectrum because there are signs, but I can't get diagnosed just yet. How am I supposed to work to cure that and get better? Think happy thoughts while my body and brain are not working like of a neurotypical would?
@@WillemPenn I agree with the other commenter. There are mental health issues that can't be cured, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder 30 years ago and believe me I'm anything but cured. And this poor girl's situation goes way beyond executive dysfunction. I absolutely appreciate your points and they do have merit, I just don't think they 100% apply here. ❤
@@ShellyCline Where did I say it could be cured? I said the exact opposite! And where did I say it was not a mental health issue? It is. I said the problem lies in using the “disease” or “illness” model instead of a disability model. Is Deafness an illness? Is Trisomy 21 (Downs) a disease? No. There is an important linguistic distinction in categorizing something as a disease/illness vs a disorder/disability. It affects how everything from how the medical community treats people with such conditions to how society views such individuals to how such individuals view themselves. Moving from a “I have an incurable lifelong disease” to “I have a disability” can be such a hopeful mindset.
@@WillemPenn that may be true, but you DID say "it is an executive function disability not an illness" and then went onto say "it is not an illness to be cured". You may be arguing for a change in terminology but that is not how your original comment came across. And regardless of your good intentions, I don't think people are going to start calling mental illness executive dysfunction simply because you think it sounds better.
It just hit me how lonely most commenters must have been? Immediate shift to deep pity. I'm sure _most_ complaints were projections of people feeling sorry for themselves that no one was there to help them. This frustratingly common victim/narcissist that without fail inserts themselves in well intended comment-community discussions...
This only applies to mentally fine children and teenagers who won’t clean because they don’t want to not because they can’t. And I fear a lot of parents see this and somehow conflate their lazy child/teen to this mentally ill adult as though a hoarder house and a messy room are one in the same. The lack of critical thinking is painful and you just know if you spoke them they’d go “I bet their moms cleaned their room and now they won’t clean up after themselves” as though that is also somehow their fault and not something instilled in them from birth (although this is a situation you can more easily rectify to be fair)
@Zelda00Gamer to be fair you can never know what someone's going through- they can be undiagnosed, have an invisible disability, etc Cleaning is horrifically hard for me because of my chronic illness
I think some people are stuck in their own ego. They lash out when things cause dissonance in their thoughts and identity, thinking doing so would make them more at ease with themselves. Instead they only hurt others. It's probably good to tell them that they're wrong, but I don't know if asking them to look inside is what would help, because that's what they are avoiding in the first place. I guess some therapist would know what to do for them.
Just this. Laziness would result in a room in the house that I intentionally keep messy (it's weird but this room motivates me to clean the rest). Such accumulation is not laziness, it is mental. Cleaning is just the first push she needs to help herself on the long run.
Dint call a person with a mental disability lazy! It could send them back. Also including the person in tge clean up is apart of therapy to help them not to do it again!
I have literally screamed to the sky to help me with my depression mess. It’s not as easy as everyone thinks and I am so glad someone is out here helping people. This woman is an angel.
Ohhhh that's the worst! I relate more to the anxiety, though tbh probably due to suppression of depression. But to have that self awareness? Not just be consumed by the state, but having rational conversations with yourself and looking at how to remedy, checking mental check lists, but the physical discomfort in the chest and gut won't lift!? That defeat can exasperate with vengeance.
I think what people don't understand or don't want to understand is that this isn't laziness, this is most likely a severe mental health issue. My heart goes out to the poor person who lives there and I hope they get the help they need. Thank you for being there for that person.
Yup, I've been told my whole life I'm lazy. I'm actually adhd and struggling to actually do the tasks is a massive sign of it. My parents wouldn't listen to me. I like cleaning, I do not like cleaning when there's a house full of 7 people. I don't like to clean when anywmones around and I've shown that. My whole family drove to the next city to shower at my grandparents because our water was shit down. I heated water we filled the tub with before the shut off, boiled it, did dishes and cleaned the entire main floor alone. Took me like 3 hours but I was still considered lazy.
@@samwebb3577Ikrrr. Honestly, when I get going with my cleaning, it does feel therapeutic to me seeing it all clean afterwards so I tend to do more/put in more effort. But before even starting any of those chores, I frequently procrastinate with the idea of "I'll do it later" or "but I don't wanna clean" then it pesters me to no end that I haven't done that one chore yet 'till I fall asleep. Welp, the pandemic has made me fall into a perpetual loop of procrastination. But I do know that all of these experiences are for me, to grow into a better person. As vague as that is.
@Kharizmaux and? Not every person with those things is you. All symptoms of thise things are not the same across the board for every individual who has them and as someone who is also bpd and adhd, you should understand that.
I experienced this helplessness while pregnant. My husband tried so hard to help me but I felt so isolated and alone. Anyone who knows me knows I love to clean so whenever my space gets cluttered then dirty they know i’m genuinely not in a good place
When my surroundings get cluttered it is either a reflection of how I’m feeling or can cause me to feel worse. It’s like my brain clears once I put the clothes away & the stacks of papers/mail has been sorted thru. Even making my bed has an effect on my mood.
@@Ok_Loren Same! Visual chaos drives me very much nuts, so whenever my surroundings are a mess, it’s just ALWAYS because I had no other choice than to leave it that way It’s even down to the way my plushies are arranged on the bed too
Support group! ✊🏼 yess. After years of health issues, in bed, i always know there's a bit of an upswing when i finally find myself doing some nesting around me. My first steps out of survival mode usually have me wiping down most things in eyeline with _The Wetwipes_ (♡)
Thank you young woman for all your caring generosity!!!!!!!!!! This is my first time watching you and I love the fact that you are showing your compassion to others!!!!!!!!!! GOD bless you sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom lived like this and if a person in this situation accepts your help, it is truly wonderful. It is more common than folks realize and the ONLY way they will recover is if they break out of the shame cycle. Shaming them and criticism only makes it worse. Show them they are worthy of care and hope they are able to see themselves that way.
I love that you say you don't care if it gets messy again, and you would help clean again. That's true compassion, without expectation or ego in the way. 💚
I can’t believe how cruel and narrow minded people can be sometimes. You are a hero helping people in need. I have actually learned a lot from you by watching your videos. Keep up the good wonderful work that you do. I only wish I could make the impact on peoples lives that you do. You make God smile. Much love and respect.❤
"I only wish I could," comment made me laugh. Just like the hoarders, they "wish I could" but do nothing. Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you do nothing, nothing changes.
For your information, I have spent the last 32 years helping children with special needs. I have made a difference. I do wish that I could make the difference that this lady does.
@@barbarakosloski9260ah yes, and people with depression should just be happy! This is a physiological, measurable issue that can be seen in brain scans. The structure of the brain itself is affected. Would you tell someone with dementia to “just remember?”
@@barbarakosloski9260 people with alzheimers want to remember but don't remember, people with depression want to be happy but aren't happy and people with infertility issues want to have children but don't have kids. Its almost like theres something making it hard for them to do certain things 🤔
I agree with you. You know how much of a difference a clean, light, & airy home makes in someone's life. The disorder you find in these homes is the disorder these people have in their heads & bodies. It's overwhelming. Please, keep doing what you are doing. It matters & it makes a huge positive difference in people's lives. Thank you. ~A retired IM Triage, RN, BSN
That letter is heartbreaking 💔 and even if this was “enabling”, so what? Why do strangers care about what you do for people they have no intention of helping themselves
@@kona3881😢you read the handwriting??? My gosh. My photographic memory just has the image imprinted with the clump of _life_ attached to the emphasis of the invalidation that they felt for their own thoughts 💔 ugh this unnecessarily excessive empathetic heart can't handle😭
That letter is me. Feeling like that everyday, i do not wish on my enemies. So thank u to all the people that help doing simple things like this that are quite a struggle to do ourselves.
The visual clutter in this person’s home reflects the state of her mind. Your helping hand gives her room to breathe and slow down the chaos of her thoughts. From there she can make achievable steps and get a chance to tackle one small thing at a time. Bless you. Thank you from us all.
You're not wasting your time nor enabling her or anyone else. You're giving this woman a chance to start fresh instead of leaving her frustrated in the mess. She clearly didn't know where to start or if she's capable of doing it on her own. You've helped her obtain a step up in her goals. Keep up the good work. I've always liked to help clean and organize, but I'd be out the door after seeing roaches or mice/rats. I'd draw that line from the gitgo. You're a great blessing in this world, sweet girl.❤
Is it ok to tell a priest/pastor/imam they're wasting their time enabling? Social workers? Therapists? Coaches? Librarians? Teachers? How bout we all just admire the big hearts who put it into action?
Last I knew "the good Lord" doesn't care about intentions (and Sandra's don't seem good to begin with, for how she talked about this person). Actions are how we show love, and you are showing it in an incredible way. Keep up the good work. Sandra could learn a thing or two from you.
Sandra will know the depths of our friend's generosity when she, herself, can no longer do it alone. Let's see who comes knocking on Sandra's door to help, no questions asked.
@@atimelessgracewell, they say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Meaning, if we never act on those intentions, we aren't doing the right thing.
@@thatswhatisaid8908 well if we did what was truly the right thing by intention why would it be to hell, in stead of heaven, Yk? If we went by something with absolute truth, say the commandments, our steps would be confident knowing in the endgame) you're doing the right thing (for example: Jesus)
You saying ' and if it goes right back to the way it was, I'll come back and do it again' shows just how much your heart is in the right place. And that letter was heartbreaking. I've been there. I had a horrible time getting over covid that gave me blood clots in my lungs. I had an ex who was a slob. Ruined the last place we lived in within a month whenever I was too sick to clean up after him.
Girl you are showing kindness and compassion, some people hide "comments" under the guise of a backhanded one. For them, it must be nice to never have been in a situation like this, but i hope they understand that this is not just a simple as they think. Pay them no, never mind, jealousy is an ugly colour.
“ I will come back again.” Coming back again will show this person that you were worthy of helping once and now that you need me again, I’m showing you are still worthy. I needed this reminder that our lives aren’t about helping once and moving on but about going back and helping again and again ❤ Keep it up, you miracle in motion ❤
@@PS1DemoDisk because I'm an idiot lol 🤦🏼♀️. I have so much trouble with social cues. And it doesn't help that in my older age I can now read one tiny letter wrong and it changes the meaning of an entire sentence. I thought it said "these", not those. Ugh sometimes I can't stand myself.
@@ShellyCline it's ok, I'm 20 and i have a similar problem sometimes Don't beat yourself up about it, the fact you can admit when it happens and apologise is what's important
I know a few Horders like this, and one of them found someone tonhelp. Since then it is mich better. Not perfect, but so much better. And he is sooo much happier and healthier now. Thank you and God bless younfor what you do.
I remember my high-school boyfriends room looked like this, and helping him clean it. For the couple years we were together it never got that bad again. Sometimes getting it started is all that's needed, and people who say mean things about it don't understand how hard it is to break the cycle. Your work is truly some of the purest kindness.
Your kindness and empathy are beyond words. God bless you. That kindness and compassion you show is worth more than you will ever know. You definitely save lives - even the lives of those who see your vids and realise the world is good. Thank you. Disability is not laziness. ❤🙏🏻❤️
That letter is the story of my life... Granted, I'm not as extreme as this, but I get it... If it wasn't for the support system I have around me... I would be this person. Thank you so much for not giving up on people during their most desperate times.
You are helping people. It could be enabling her but… I don’t believe in tough love if someone dies before they can be saved. For instance. I never told my drug addict cousin in law she couldn’t come over to shower get food and come down from a high. I never let her live with me cuz she stole. But I always washed her clothes. I let her 8 year old son stay with me. And I fed her.i also showed her that recovery works. She eventually got it together long enough to get her son back. I gave him a bed. She committed suicide. But her son saw love. People die. It’s serious
That is a wonderful mindset to have. Always be kind to others, but still make boundaries because as important as it may be to be kind to others who may, or may not, deserve it, your own safety is just as valuable. I hope her son learns from his mother's mistakes without resentment from her leaving. You seem like a wonderful person. Best fortunes! 😊
The dark reality is a lot of people would just say "she got what she deserves". If I've learned anything it's that a lot of people's entire sense of self worth hinges on constantly feeling like they're better than the people around them. If they aren't judging others they'd have to judge themselves and that's anathema to them.
I read your comment and when you said she committed suicide, I burst into tears and still crying. I am so very sorry for the boy’s loss of his mother and your loss of a family member. It reminded me of an old friend of mine I hadn’t seen in years, then found out from her father-in-law that she had committed suicide. I was shocked and bewildered. Though I’ve often wished not to be here any more, I’m too chicken to do anything about it.
Mental health is no joke. Rough. You're a blessing to those who need help. You've brought this person some amount of happiness. This may grant her some level strength to take the next step. ❤
"I need to clean, but I can't. I am going crazy. I need to. Someone please get me out of this hell" I'm sure everyone who's experienced depression has moments of hopelessness such as this. I am lucky I've had support structures that prevented my issues from turning into something this bad, but not everyone has that. I am fortunate that at my worst, my room nastiness was only a couple piles of food wrappers, containers, soda/beer cans, etc. on each side of my bed. Along with unfolded clothes scattered around. It's scary to think about how easy it would be for my natural tendencies to lead me to a living situation this. The best thing you can do for yourself if you have mental health issues, addiction, etc, is find your supports and practice reaching out to them on good and bad days. In return, help them and show appreciation when you can. You are not alone! Thank you for doing this sort of work. ❤
Bless you. You are providing these people an amazing service and I’m sure they are so grateful for the help. My house got out of control while I was doing chemo and I couldn’t get back on top of it and lost my kids. I eventually got them back but living in a messy house that I had kept spotless before my illnesses broke my heart. Thank you for caring and for your big heart.
Wow! I’m absolutely blown away by the selfless person behind these videos. I love what you do and would love to be able to do this for those in need. Unfortunately, I’m often unwell myself these days and do well to cook and clean for my own family. Your videos inspire me to do better for myself too though. It’s a good reminder that 5 to 10 minutes cleaning something you’ve been avoiding really isn’t as hard as your brain makes it seem
I whole heartedly agree with you! Who cares what happens after. You giving this person a clean space again. To help rid them of the stress, anxiety, and mental anguish that they felt when their living space out of control and couldn’t keep it clean. Sandra has absolutely no clue what it’s like to suffer or feel the way this person did. Hope that if she ever needs help someone doesn’t turn her back on her like she thinks you should have to the owner of this house. Keep doing what you do! You are a definitely making a difference!
What you are doing is a huge blessing for the person you are doing it for. People that make comments like that are sick. They have no empathy and believe that they are so much better than others for a million different reasons. I hope and pray that someone they say they love never has issues like this. Mental health strikes at all groups of people and physical disabilities will make mental ones a million times worse. I am unable to pick things up off the ground and after 3 back surgery the problem has only gotten worse. This issue has made depression and anxiety a horrible reality for me. I do what I can and that is it!
Kindness is never wasted. I think the good lord would agree. I deal with manic depression and I very much appreciate what you do for people who go through what i deal with. Thank you
Please keep going, you are helping someone gain back their life. As the letter says it’s hard to ask for help and you might feel shame from the state of the home, but all you need is a bit of help and the work you do is helping so much… Thank you thank you thank you 😊
That letter… I could feel that in my soul. I hope the woman is doing ok tonight too, people don’t understand the wave of emotions that comes after a decent clean/cull.
There is a special place for people like you. I am just overwhelmed due to physical disabilities and once the house gets messy, it gets harder and harder to clean. I can't image how hard it would be when drowning in depression. A clean home always feels better and maybe it will give that person room to focus on what she needs to and not escape. Bless you.
Your such a good person!! Thank you for helping all those people that really need it! And the people leaving harsh comments like this are the ones who need to re-evaluate their lives and start learning how to be more compassionate for others.
You’re an angel! Thank you for helping her! Too many judge without compassion. There is something wrong there and people put it off as laziness. God bless you!
I don’t understand how people think letting it get to this big of a mess is “just laziness”, I have never seen a person who is completely happy, no depression or anxiety, no disabilities or illnesses making it more difficult just leaving around trash and other things to this extent People are always supportive of mental health/physical health issues until it’s not pretty
There is also nothing wrong with doing something that is going to help someone RIGHT NOW. Not everything has to be a forever solution, and it does not mean your help was a waste of time if it wasn’t a forever solution.
You’re amazing. Totally will subscribe and support anyone who helps mental illness. No one else is helping these people and they are worthy of being helped. Thank you for what you do.
