I’ve come to the conclusion that nobody knows how mental illness works 

people out here really be like "you can have a mental illness as long as your a functioning human being, and it doesnt put me outside of my comfortzone."

"you can have ptsd, but don't get triggered when I yell at you because you're making me feel like I did something wrong" --every adult I've ever met.

Mental illnesses: exist People who have no basic understanding of mental illnesses: ah yes, spicy water

“You should learn to control your meltdowns” I c a n ‘ t.

I hate the usage of the phrase “don’t use your mental illness as an excuse” by people who don’t have a mental illness. For example, I have depression. It’s hard to get out of bed. Sometimes I have to cancel plans, and even just calling to cancel is a lot of work. When I tell some people this, because I feel I owe them the true explanation as to why I cancelled plans, they tell me to “stop using depression as an excuse”. It’s not an excuse, it’s a reason.

Twitter is like that school councilor that acts like she cares but really doesn’t

Phenomenon already doesn’t sound like a word.

This video is so true. The whole "don't use mental illness as an excuse" only ever gets applied to things that make you look sympathetic. My biological mother got to use her depression and bipolar as an excuse to physically abuse and mentally manipulate her kids until 4 out of 5 of them developed suicidal tendencies, 3 of them before the age of 10 years old, and people say, "she can't help it, she's struggling," but my neurodivergance that causes me to have very loud, very ugly freakouts that cause me to sob uncontrollably and spout off random strings of unintelligible words are something I need to get over, and unacceptable and embarrassing. Wtf

"why can't you just take a joke?" "i have to walk on eggshells around you" "it's not that loud" "it doesn't matter, why are you worried?" "jeez, you get offended so easily" "you're a bit special, aren't you" -my mum(who knows im autistic and have trouble with some pretty basic tasks)

Everybody wanna have ADHD until they have issues regulating their emotions and have no time management and low self esteem that makes you feel even worse when someone claims that your ADHD is just an excuse.

"You are physically inable to get up and take care of yourself/clean/study because of "depression"? Well, you don't have anything to be depressed about so you must be just lazy™."

You can have the flu, but just don't throw up when I'm here.

sorry this is a little ranty but: my parent told me that they want to make me as comfortable as possible but when I have a severe anxiety attack they tell me to "just calm down. you look scary, it's making me nervous". when I go into depressive episodes where I cant give myself the energy to even shower or eat they call me lazy. they even said it was my fault that I'm like this. when I physically can't make myself do my work cause my brain wont let me, that's my fault to apparently. we love supportive parents!

it’s just “You can be gay but just don’t act like it” but for “enlightened” people to hide their abelism.

My teacher: "Are you sure you have autism? You don't look like it." Me: 👁👄👁 "Yea I got diagnosed by a professional-" My teacher: "Well even if you do have autism, that's no excuse for not being able to regulate you're emotions!" Me: 👁 👄 👁 Does she not know not being able to regulate your emotions is a symptom of autism or-

As someone who lives with diagnosed anxiety, I've noticed that a lot of people pretend to be supportive of people with anxiety and even romanticize it by making it look "cute" and "aesthetic". But when someone w/ anxiety starts having a panic attack suddenly they're "embarrassing" or they're "freaking out for no reason" and that they just need to "calm down". Guess people will only tolerate anciety when it's "cute" or fits their narrative.

the people here in my community think mental illness is “made up”. they think u can just bibidi bobidi boo out of ur depression.

Parents: I know you have ADD or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can keep putting off assignments. Me: Wow. It’s not like procrastination and lack of motivation are symptoms of ADHD. Hmmm. Weird.

It's like saying: ”Hey, you can have a stab wound but please don't bleed on my rug.”

“Aww, you have social anxiety? That’s so cute that you’re shy! Wait, why are you always locked up in your room? Take off your headphones and socialize!” “You’re autistic? So you can’t read social cues? Lmao, it’s so adorable that you’re oblivious! Where are these comments and questions coming from?! Read the room!” “You have general anxiety? Stressing about the little things... that’s adorable! Why are you so stressed? It’s just a test, you’ll be fine! Don’t worry about your future, you’re only in senior year of high school! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you! Wait, what do you mean that’s the problem?” “You have DMDD? What’s that? Oh. Okay, no, I’m out of here. Not dealing with your immature ass today.” Yay, me.

These thumbnails oh my god. A stock image of a white women crossing her arms can give off so much bad energy

it's the "commercialization" of mental illnesses and not accepting people who struggle with them for me. it's also the inability for people to have opinions that aren't on the extreme sides an argument for me.

My old friends thought it was so “cute and quirky” that’s I had OCD but when I actually started showing symptoms I was “weird and annoying” The years of repression I had to do in front of people since I was fucking 9. I’m so fucking tired

I feel like the media has romanticized mental illness so much, that people don’t even know what it is, the see someone who is actually going through a depressive episode and think they are “trying to get attention” 🙄

One thing I absolutely hate is when you have a minor mental illness like mild depression or moderate anxiety and when you tell someone they're like "everyone has those thoughts you aren't depressed/anxious constantly"

Another thing that pisses me off about some of these neo-liberal “hot takes” is the idea that your neurodivergence is only valid if it’s been diagnosed, which is inherently classist. I’ve shown clear symptoms of being probably either autistic or adhd for as long as I can remember, but have never been diagnosed. That doesn’t make those symptoms go away. Plenty of people never get a diagnosis because, news flash, not everyone has the money for that. There’s a difference between a middle schooler self diagnosing themselves to be ‘quirky’ (which is honestly a whole different issue to be addressed), and me realizing I stim, hyperfixate, and am hypersensitive to noise and light in a way that doesn’t bother people around me, and have for my entire life. So yeah, sorry for that little rant, but it’s something I don’t see talked about a lot.

"They're men that like women-- that's why they're predatory towards women, not because they wanna wear a skirt." Really hit

why do i feel like the same people who say this are the same people who say “i’m so OCD” or diagnose themselves in the tik tok comment section

The “popular” girls at my school literally ignored and/or bullied me until I was officially diagnosed with ASD and then they treated me like I was a whole new person to try and seem tolerant or something but the second I actually show some symptoms they laugh or get weirded out. It’s so stupid.

i think it's important to be clear that no one is required to befriend someone with a mental illness. if their symptoms put your personal mental health in jeopardy, you don't need to stay friends with them. however, you can't insult and berate that person for those symptoms and just expect them to change.

On TikTok there's this one trend going around where you show off your teeth, and obviously a lot of people with depression or other mental illnesses don't want to do that because they're too insecure of their teeth because they haven't brushed their teeth in a while. I found a post where someone was talking about it, and there was so many people in the comments criticizing the people who can't brush their teeth. It's like dude they're trying, that's a symptom shut up. Also someone said, "If you have time to do your hair and makeup, then you have time to brush your teeth." And that's frustrating because doing their hair and makeup might give them happiness, but brushing their teeth is just too hard

im so done with these people too bro like ppl make breakdowns seem like “omg i had a MeNtAl BrEaKdOwN and dyed my hair” when real breakdowns make you cut off people and stop eating, or stop showering, or get really angry or you can’t stop crying or you can’t sleep, breakdowns are shiet and they dont understand and romanticize mental illness. ive gotten yelled at for showing signs of borderline personality disorder uHm W H A T

Dont you hate it when you have depression but then feel depression

example of “you shouldn’t use your illness as an excuse”: someone i met who has groomed multiple minors and is currently involved with a minor that blames it on their BPD because the minor is their Favourite Person and they are dependent on each other- while it’s obviously difficult for this person, it doesn’t erase the harm they’ve done by preying on this person and taking advantage of them. example of unavoidable symptoms of mental illness: another person i know with bpd who split on me and cut me off for months, who eventually came back and explained why they had chosen not to talk to me (it was to reduce harm for both of us, splitting on me gave them an intense urge to say hurtful things to me which they avoided by distancing themself completely)

People don’t like to talk about mental illness unless the only victim is the one who’s suffering from it. The media romanticizes specific mental illnesses like depression and anxiety and eating disorders, for a reason. It’s because they can write them in a way where the consequences only impact the individual, with the minor exceptions being love interests who push through their hard exterior as a plot device. (With some exceptions). The reason this comes in handy in literature is because it leaves room to exacerbate certain admirable literary traits like humility and self sacrifice, etc. by using mental illness as the vehicle to deliver said traits. In shows they exacerbate traits like humility into straight up self deprecation or body dysmorphia. Or “self sacrifice” by means of fasting, or isolating yourself and pushing people away. And the thing is, these traits aren’t alike. Body dysmorphia is NOT humility. But what romanticization does, is use things like body dysmorphia in place of humility. It’s the “She doesn’t know she’s beautiful” archetype but skyrocket it to it’s extremes. The media exploits mental illness as a way to deliver “admirable” traits to their most extreme. That’s why we have such a fucked up idea of mental illness. Because our culture has deluded us by shoving half-woke mental illness images down our throats that we forget that mental health effects people’s personality’s in ways that can be extremely unlikable and unromantic. Mental health issues don’t just make you sad, or think you’re ugly when you’re really the prettiest girl in school. Mental health issues can make you conceited, it can make you vindictive, and impulsive, which can lead to you harming the people around you. Mental health issues making you conceited is just the other side of the coin that can make you insecure. A distorted perception of self is a distorted perception of self. But they get treated differently because being “humble” is one of the founding traits of admirable character. Even though both are bad for your mental health. And even though they’re both in the context of them being a product of uncontrollable circumstances. And that’s why the only representation of mental health issues we get are mainly that of minor depression, anxiety, and anorexia. But the consequences of this, are that every single time people mention any other type of mental health issue in which OTHER people, like friends and family, are effected you get accused of trying to “use mental health as an excuse of bad behavior”. Because as far as what the media represents, mental health issues are meant for the person who has the mental illness to suffer with alone. And like the “excuse” response is so easily refutable. Excuses are used to do one or a combination of the following: 1. To exempt oneself from the consequences of a given action 2. To be allowed the ability to continue participating in said behavior 3. To relay information that further contextualizes the situation and shows it was heavily circumstantial, is a rare occurrence, and is not of their one accord. An example of all three being at work is when you would give an excuse of absence or tardiness to your school. The excuse is used to exempt you from any disciplinary actions like a demerit that adds up to a detention, and your specific excuse will relay why you were absent or tardy, maybe your car broke down or you had a doctors app, that shows that your absence/tardiness was circumstantial because it only happens maybe once a year depending on the situation, and isn’t necessarily your fault. If someone is accepting the consequences of an action, has made it clear that they are in the process of “checking” bad behavior (which can take years of therapy depending on the individual case), and isn’t trying to make it seem like the situation is a rarity and has nothing to do with them personally. They aren’t making an excuse. They’re giving REASONS. And it’s not bad for someone to want people to view them in a more sympathetic light. Because people want to be treated like people. And it’s important for people to know the harmful sides of mental illness because that leads to more exposure, which leads to more help, understanding, etc. Which leads to people with harmful behaviors getting better.

me, who hasn’t even started watching the video yet: “YES KING I AGREE WITH YOU”

Yes!! Everything was all fine and dandy when I was depressed and anxious, but the second I started displaying more psychotic traits (hallucination, paranoia) people became scared of me. Not leaving the house because I was depressed was fine, but not leaving the house because I was convinced I would be attacked apparently crossed the line. People get scared of me, especially when I talk about my symptoms. Come on, I'm not a character of a horror movie, I'm just mentally ill

I tried explaining ADHD and how I have a hard time sitting for long times without pacing and my "friend" just said they didn't care... well they said "Its just pent up energy, you can sit down and focus if you try, I don't to hear it anymore"

I hate it when people self-diagnose ocd and proclaim “look how neat my science notes are, I’m so ocd,” or “I always make my bed, it’s an ocd thing.” Like BRUH!!!! I don’t wanna invalidate anyone but I’m 90% sure it’s NOT. BRUH ocd is painful and debilitating, and you’re making it out to be a cute quirk. Now when people have genuine ocd and it doesn’t present itself how media portrays it, they’re labeled as creepy and weird. I hate it. Everyone’s all for accepting mentally ill people until they realize what it actually means. Sorry now I’m ranting. Byeeee.

I’ve legit been afraid of sharing my disorders to people because what if they think I’m faking it? And then I’ll have to explain to them how I actually have these disorders. but they won’t understand. Because they don’t have these disorders

"Go outside, stroke a stalk of corn" Ah yes, our Illinois side really shining In all seriousness I really appreciate this, especially given some of my family drama at the moment. So thanks for validating my eating disorder 😅

My favorite is the people that believe being depressed and having depression is the same thing. Both suck. Both have similar symptoms and treatments. One of them is a mental illness that doesn't go away. Apparently, it's okay to be depressed, but it's not okay to have depression...

kinda like those girls on tiktok that say shit like "omg dont be mean to nerodivergent people they cant help it" then make fun of band kids, or really anyone they dont like, for displaying symptoms of adhd and/or autism.

i hate when people are like "oh, lain, just because you have ADHD doesn't make it okay for you to focus on things that aren't important and it's not okay that you can't sit still" like bitch that's literally what ADHD is, sorry

I usually can't motivate myself to take showers, so I end up showering either once a week or once a fortnight. My friends will talk about hygiene every now and then, so someone will say "Sometimes I don't shower for 2 days" and everyone is immediately like "eww what the hell?". So I'll never add to the conversation because if I ever told them the truth I'd get weird stares. Also a thing I've noticed is that whenever I talk to a therapist or specialist about my processing issues and ADHD they'll always say "well, you *sound* very intelligent" like what's that supposed to imply? Do I have to have some sort of speech impediment to sound 'not intelligent' to you? is that your classification for someone who is intelligent? Why does sounding a certain way indicate to you how smart I am. Its just a strange thing I've been seeing lately.

Another pet peeve is when people behave like only depression and anxiety exist out of the pantheon of mental illnesses (not to belittle the struggle) and actively exclude people that have 'less socially acceptable' mental health illnesses. I love how quickly i can clear a room when i bring up that i have psychotic depression. -_- Or when they assume I have Schizophrenia and don't listen to me when i say i don't have that. There's nothing wrong with schizophrenia, it's literally not my diagnosis.

This reminds me of my family. They once told me to "control" my anxiety attacks and that it was childish to not do so. It's not like I have the Force, I can't control how my body reacts to these situations.

"I support people with mental illnesses so long as they act and seem like they don't have any mental illness."

That showering example was such a good one. Their whole “tolerance” and “support” of mental illness drops so quick when it comes to low functioning symptoms like that. They only care when it’s convenient.

I hate when people do that so much. Like, yes. Sometimes mental illness isn't an excuse. But at the very least it's an explanation and explaining your own behavior so the other party understands why you reacted the way you did, *even if it was wrong* should be standard protocol. I don't think it's okay to scream at my friend during an argument just because screaming and violence is the only way of taking out arguments I ever saw as a kid. Can it still happen, even now that I recognize that my reaction to arguments is wrong? Yes. Is it wrong despite stemming from a bad upbringing and mental illness? Yes. Would I, if it happened now, tell the other person the reason? Yes, because then they at least know not to take it personal and that I did not mean what I said to them and actually am sorry. Like, why should I not be allowed to say "that reaction was caused by mental trauma" as long as I still apologize, recognize my actions were wrong and do my best to be better in the future? The best part is that people who put these "hot takes" out there are usually the same people who think apologizing is saying sorry. Honey, apologizing starts with knowing you did something wrong, admitting that and goes on forever with an effort to not repeat those mistakes.

People want to have that little depression accessory for cool points, but when I tell you that I feel disgusting and horrible every day, I fucking mean it and it fucking sucks. Sure, I have those "pretty" moments where I cry alone in the dark, but I also constantly worry and overthink to the point where I can't help but cry. I don't clean my room and sleep in a bed covered in chip crumbs even though the smell is getting unbearable. I can't clean it, it'll just get messy again anyway. The only reason I'm reasonably hygienic is because I'm afraid of people judging me. The only reason I don't sleep all of the time is because of a) obligations like school and b) I want to see and talk to my friends. Otherwise, if there's nothing that's worth being awake for, I'll sleep away the existential dread and the feelings of disgust, worry, and numbness. I'm tired of living. There's almost nothing that's worth being awake for, and I want to just sleep forever. I don't want to care or matter anymore, it takes too much energy.

This hits way too hard I knew someone who KNEW DAMN WELL that I had a certain mental illness that could cause obsessive behaviors, she was the object of obsession at the time and said she understood and that she didn’t care and stayed. Lashed out on me for literally nothing and then said it was basically because I showed symptoms of my illness. *like dude are you ok with me or not*

my mother tried to tell me that someone’s mental illness is just their ‘personality’ and that that’s just how they are as a person and they have to accept themselves so yes i have crippling anxiety

I'm autistic and have bpd. There is a balance that the public zeitgeist has yet to grasp cause we've put up with both abuse and ableism for a long time. We are only starting to get to grips with what a toxic relationship is and how to deal with them. But, as per usual, this has swung the pendulum all the way to the other side and now non-perfect behaviour is seen as toxic with no forgiveness. I exhibit a lot of difficult behaviours. There are those that people will unjustly get annoyed at such as when I lose the ability to speak or miss out on a social cue. But there are also behaviours which people have a right to call out. I can become violent, throwing things and punching holes in walls. I can split on people I love and act like they are the scum of the earth. These are behaviours which are directly related to my mental illness but they also directly hurt people. It's incredibly hard to find the balance between acknowledging the ugly side of mental illness and keeping people accountable for the harm they cause. I don't exactly know what this balance is and it's hard because I had been looking for therapy since 2016 and only got it this very year. I was on meds that caused me to become psychotic and aggressive. If there are no resources for people who are severely affected by their mental illness and trauma how the hell do you keep them accountable when their mental state inevitably fails them? Tldr, this shit is complicated thank you for bringing attention to the topic.

'just because you have DID you can't just say you don't remember something' 'just because you have DID doesn't mean you can turn into a totally different person when you're uncomfortable'

This is how I feel about anxiety. All of a sudden it’s okay for the pretty girl to cry in the bathroom and call it a panic attack and everyone’s supportive. But when I have ticks or have to shut myself away or can’t handle having a verbal conversation all of a sudden I’m a toxic asshole who can’t communicate and is just being awful towards everyone. It feels really good to hear someone say this out loud

The ability to use the word phenomenon 9 times in under a minute is impressive

Allistic liberal: "I support people with autism! I don't even see it as an illness, it's a superpower! :)" Me, autistic: [has special interests, stims in public, gets overstimulated and has panic attacks, doesn't mask for other people's comfort] Allistic liberal: "...wait no not like that"

Being Autistic sucks because it is an invisible disability. People assume I'm neurotypical and when I stim or miss a social que all the sudden I'm an asshole. Then when I tell them I'm Autistic I'm called a liar and an asshole since I don't look or act like it according to them. Add being a transwoman to poor to afford transition you get crippling depression that makes a vicious cycle of not having a job to afford hormones. I had anorexia in college and un/fortunately stopped. I'm super fat phobic to myself and I hate it, but I can only afford unhealthy food. Anyway Capitalism is evil and all of this is just part of feeding the corporate pockets by making us feel less valuable to buy things outside our means to feel more special than we really are

My personal favorites: “just love yourself!” “Well if you had *insert thing* you wouldn’t be depressed” “Just get over it!” “Just do this and you’ll get better in no time” “You just need to exercise and sleep more and you won’t be depressed anymore!” “We need to stop romanticizing mental illnesses” *proceeds to fawn over character for their trauma alone* “wow he was abandoned by his parents and had to cope for all these years? Cool” “Don’t worry I get it” *zero mental health history nor knowledge* “You should try to *insert activity I struggle with*” ...I love life

Me: *Has anxiety and a inconsistent dad who literally just went to jail* My Teacher: Just because your dad is in jail and you have anxiety doesn't mean you can be too overwhelmed to do a 3 page assignment. *detention* Yes this actually happened to me last year, deadass couldnt pick up a pencil and was baling my eyes out.

Thank you, I've been called "gross" and "lazy" for not being able to shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth. Im happy to see someone finally talking about it. They say that they support me, then the go out and make fun of me behind my back for me not being able to do anything. I've told them I have depression, I have a therapist, I have to take medication, but they dont understand.

...i don't think i ever heard someone so smart talk in my life-

Had someone tell me "just cause you have ADD dosen't mean you get to not pay attention to the teacher like the rest of us".... good times 👍

i agree entirely- as someone who has adhd, sometimes it makes me so upset. i have seen people who joke about adhd just being “haha hyper!! haha!!” and it’s like. literally adhd is so much all the time. my entire brain is wired different- people talk about ‘haha people w/ adhd are very fun’ but as soon as i speak over you(something that’s literally a symptom), have trouble paying attention to you, have strong/overwhelming emotional responses, have trouble telling what the line is when it comes to relating to you or making it look like it’s about myself, whenever my APD kicks in and i can’t understand your words- now it’s not okay? people are fine with people with mental illnesses until it stops being ‘quirky’ or whatever and i’m sick of it. i live like this!!! i’m sorry that you had to read that shit, dude, it’s such a disheartening mentality. i think so many people just need to hear the phrase “your rights end where another’s rights begin”- because saying that blanket statement they did is so disrespectful. hopefully your timeline figures itself out or smthin.

"Stroke a stalk of corn or something" I love this because a) corn is currently out of season in most of North America and this implies the recipient should go on a quest to find a stalk of corn wherever that may be. b) it sounds like a euphemism for "go fuck yourself" but child friendly like the phrase "suck an egg". C) it also sounds like a euphemism for masturbation to a certain degree. Okay, levity over, serious now. I hope you are taking care of yourself right now Nick. The holidays ain't easy and I hope your needs are being met! Stay safe out there! Also your hair and skin look amazing.

I don't want my take to have racial undertones, lets use a different word... ✨enlightenment✨ I would have just gone with "Trying not to be a jerk" but okay

This happens more in regards to my autism, but most autistic people have a mental illness bc society. anyways, I was in a friend group, and people kept getting mad at me for not understanding social subtext, after they knew I was autistic. They kept telling me I was manipulative and too rigid, but in reality all I was doing was just saying what I was feeling/thinking explicitly. Like someone would get mad at me for not picking up on a social cue and I would say that hurt my feelings, and they would be like no take accountability you're being manipulative. Eventually I was kicked out of the friend group after this one girl drove all my friends to decide they didn't like me, and said they didn't like me because I had been manic in the past due to my meds, and also because I was around enough because I was in outpatient therapy to get over the trauma I had from wilderness therapy. Later I had found out that said girl who kept getting mad at me for literally just being autistic also said that I was faking my mania and dissociative episodes from my trauma. None of the people in the friend group read or watched a single of the dozen resources I sent about autism and then claimed they they couldn't have been ableist in situations where they got mad at me for having autistic traits. Many of them now advertise themselves as mental health and neurodiversity advocates. I had nightmares about these people for months because I loved them and trusted them and respected them, and this all happened while I was in outpatient therapy for suicidal ideation due to trauma. I hate people.

me: chilling with diagnosed adhd, add and depression my parents: you need to do your schoolwork you can’t blame your laziness and procrastination on your literal diagnosed mental illness that we refuse to get you medication for. you need to take a shower, just because you’re depressed doesn’t mean you can stop showering. you can’t just not wake up in the morning, that’s making you worse, people aren’t gonna like you if you don’t act normal. there is not an emoji, word, emoticon, font nothing that can show the disappointment and anger that i feel.

Me looks in the mirror: Hey body? Yeah can you remove my adhd my anxiety and my dyslexia? My body: yeah I wish it was this easy

sjdhsksj “i know you have tics but could you please quiet down a little” oh of course, i’m doing this for fun! i’m jerking my head back and screaming because it’s f u n! this is so fun!

I agree so much omg people are horrible I haven't watched it yet but I already agree

Ugh this is so true, and so frustrating. "Just because you're depressed you don't get to be an asshole." Sometimes the apathy and irritability make you act distant and cold. "Just because you are manic doesn't mean you get to act like you are better than everyone." WHEN AT THAT TIME I LITERALLY BELIEVE THAT I AM, NOT BECAUSE I'M EGOTISTICAL, BECAUSE I HAVE LITERAL GRANDIOSE DELUSIONS. People wanna start accepting and destigmatizing mental illnesses, as long as the symptoms don't negatively effect them actively. Absolutely spot on with this video. THANK YOU for making this, it's a conversation that isn't being had frequently enough, and can even get shut down by people who do not understand. Thank you.

As a black person, thank you for not using AAVE. It's not just... "Gen Z" slang, it's the language, the dialect of English that I grew up speaking. As for what you've said, I totally agree. I pretty much got attacked and ganged up on when I was working with a group, proposed a change to not use fancy fonts (they are hard to read and affect screen readers), I was asked if I was disabled or how it affected me, I literally stated my illnesses and why I can't do x or handle/understand x but... instead of them trying to understand me they had asked how it had play in the conversation and that I was trying to use my mental illnesses as a gain; to get pity & sympathy. I was never ever trying to do that. I just was trying to answer their question of how fancy fonts affect me and if how I'm disabled in any way. It was the leader of the group too who told me to work through my ADHD and pointed "Hey! I have ADHD, just work through yours. It's not that hard." None of them will listen to me and I've been painted as an ableist for small and large things like calling myself "slow" because I don't have light speed thought processing, probably the same for others with ADHD. I really don't feel like I'm an ableist or at least intentionally ableist but they seem to have a lot of unrecognized, internalized ableism within themselves. I'd like to add that I had ended up being spoken over, they made me cry, and I felt very uncomfortable within this team. I still have unrequited anger towards those involved. I didn't get to defend myself and I couldn't properly defend myself because what is there to say when people tell you that "You're using it as an excuse", etc etc.

PSA: people are being diagnosed with mental illnesses more nowadays not because it's a scam, but because more people are actually trying to get help. Over the last decade, mental health has been creeping into the spotlight and we realize just how many people have had illnesses that weren't diagnosed entirely because they thought what they were going through was normal.

my stepdad: every one has anxiety and gets sad every now and then me who has depression and multiple anxiety disorders: wtf

Just putting this here since it relates to this video, Girl Interrupted is a great movie regarding mental illness which is based off of a memoir, which is based off of a first hand experience in a psychiatric hospital.

Time for the randomly scheduled Nick Black... Nick Black. That's it. TIME FOR THE RANDOMLY SCHEDULED NICK BLACK EVERYONE

my dad is basically “having ADHD isn’t an excuse to constantly lose things even tho you try your best to keep up w them.” or “having depression isn’t an excuse to have no motivation to do anything or have sudden and unexpected depressive episodes.”

“people will support your mental illness until your symptoms are not pretty” i had to pause this and rewind and listen to that again because i’ve never heard something more accurate in my LIFE

When I was really really deep into my depressive state, I would not shower, wash my hair, brush my teeth or eat healthy for weeks. My room was so gross, filled with snack wrappers, crumbs, etc for weeks. It smelled horrible. My trash cans was overwhelmed with trash, I had nothing to wear bc I piled all my dirty clothes on my desk. I would sleep for hours and then just don't sleep. There's so much more things I haven't mentioned that I wanna keep personal or that could trigger people. And when I see the skinny white girl depression stereotype it outrages me. My friend claiming she has depression because she was sad once and making these deep quotes with anime pictures. And saying she's sooooooo emo and depressed bc she couldn't see her boyfriend for 1 week while I'm sitting here being "gross" and literally rotting away in bed, unable to do shit.

It’s okay to have symptoms of mental illness, and it is other people’s fault for only excepting “pretty” mental illness. It is not okay to hurt people and use mental illness as justification.

i kinda wonder if these same people would call out someone with turettes as "toxic" because they say alot of rude and mean things due to their tics. Random tic related story, so background fire alarms most of the time send me into panic attacks, well i was at school amd one went off and i was actually able to stop myself from panicking(yay me! ^^) I was really proud of myself, but my tic started getting really bad. well this ome gal in my class(who knows about my tics) had the audacity to yell me to "calm down". Like bish it was hard enough for me to make it outside without panicking, don't tell me to calm down.

My mother is incredibly mentally ill, yet she criticizes me all time for being anxious, paranoid, can’t get out of bed, etc. I seriously don’t know what to do with her. Our relationship is terrible

Everyone ready to coddle anxious and depressed people until the anxious and depressed person displays a symptom

saving this for my parents🙃 they haven´t been treating my sister who has ocd the best way lately

Thank you for this, this is so needed. My own mom claims to understand my depression & adhd, but she’s always telling me to “change my mindset.” And it’s like??? It’s not THAT easy, if it were that easy it wouldn’t be such an issue for me. I know she means well, but it really doesn’t help :/, sorry for the long ass personal rant, but this is a really good video, thanks.

Like seriously they don't understand

I think the more common interpretation of “don’t use mental illness as an excuse” is for people whose mental illnesses can influence (not that it’s a direct symptom) genuinely *emotionally abusive* and traumatizing behavior. It’s especially disappointing when said people have the time and money to get help but refuse to. In straight relationships there is so much trauma and likely various personality disorders that necessitate men to be coddled or else they burst out, control, curse their partners, gaslight, etc. Its okay to realize that this behavior can be related to mental illness. Multiple therapists have told me that severe anxiety disorder exists within my family, which has affected my childhood, emotional health, and relationships immensely. Sometimes we don’t have the bandwidth to fix everything for those we love, and that’s okay. It has nothing to do with stigmatizing mental health and everything to do with just running out of emotional capacity. It’s a hard situation to figure out from there, but we have to acknowledge when a dynamic (for example, me being 24/7 therapist for my family because they won’t seek help) isn’t sustainable. This doesn’t mean people are a burden, because they deserve every bit of that support, more than it means I just am not as equipped as they need

Also, can we talk about when known women are very much having a mental health crisis (Gabbie Hanna, Trisha Paytas, etc.) people don’t see it as a mental health crisis and instead critique them?? Like people can pick and choose when our illnesses decide to take a giant toll on our psyche????

This came up right as we (me and a few friends) where discussing mental illness politely with each other. So I am already in the right mind set, lets gooo. Bet its gonna be an amazing vid.

Hi, I would like to add some input as someone who's been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, and depression: I don't think it's inherently bad to recognize certain traits of mental illness as toxic - towards oneself or others. However, I also firmly agree that most of the time, these things are uncontrollable and the person with the mental illness would want just as much for it stop as anyone who's "uncomfortable" because of it. I also don't believe it's inherently bad to say "Hey, because of this toxic behavior, I was hurt". What I do think is downright awful is unfairly persecuting a person who is struggling to keep said symptom under control, because most of the time, they're feeling the effect of the symptom 10x as hard. Basically what I'm saying is like. If someone does something toxic because of mental illness - whether it be towards themselves or to others - you have every right to express concern or hurt from the actions. However, you DON'T have a right to completely brush of the mental illness and just pretend this was some ☆toxic conscious decision☆ they wanted to make towards themselves or others. I hope this makes sense. Great video as always, dude.

You said it perfectly. They don't treat it as what it is, an illness. If someone with the flu had a fever, you wouldn't get mad at them for it because they can't control it. But when someone with a mental illness has a symptom of said mental illness it's different???? Like I'm tired of seeing this and I really hope people move pass this.

I keep telling people that them saying stuff like that is worsening stigmas around mental health conditions and they always reply with something like "nah you're making excuses" thank you for this video

My mom: “just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean you can have tics” Mother-

Exactly. People will say. "I consider you a freind" and "you can come talk to me when you're feeling overwhelmed." But as soon as you start to say how you actually feel, they just tell you to be happy and "why can't you just go back to being 'cheerful and bubbly'" when that was just you trying to mask and it's not like you want to be unhappy, you just are. Also, and sorry to ramble, but SOoo ironic that, particularly in regards to shaming of fat phobia. People will virtue signal and try to be woke without trying to be empathetic to the fact that a lot of these issues can be internalized due to societal expectations and pressure that we are all.susceptible to.

MAN. you really summed it up dude. I see this all the time specifically with me and my twin? for context I'm autistic and they have ADHD and both of us have depression/anxiety/ptsd + some other shit since PTSD loves to give./s I hate 'high-functioning" and low functioning labels but for this conversation I'm on the high end and they are on the mid low end. Because my shit I'm able to mask I'm treated with respect in leftist circles and generally life but since they can't it's the complete opposite and it's like. I want to fight all people without mental illness and I want to fight neurotypicals. It's like an extension of the "i know you want to literally die right now but yoga!! drink water!!" mentality that assumes mental illness is just skin-deep.

me: yeah it’s been rly hard for me recently, i’ve just been rly burnt out to the point where even just brushing my teeth feels like an insurmountable task random person: ew that’s gross me: i am aware. i hate it too. why would i CHOOSE to just not take care of myself????

I somewhat agree with this. I feel the term toxic is used to loosely at times and many symptoms are bunched into that. That being said I've seen this comment mostly in reference to abuse and there is no exuces for abuse ever even if it's part of a mental illness. And it's not anyone responsibility to deal with that abuse or not hold for accountable for the sake of being excepting. It's not ok to realize your symptoms the activity harm others and not be working on it at least. And having metal Illnesses does not exempt you from responsibility over your harmful action or working towards progress. And this is coming from someone who both was an the receiving end of abuse by the hand of some with metal Illness and a someone who has mental illness themselves and realized my actions while not to the level of abuse where harmful to those I cared about and took responsibility and got help and is currently is therapy. I don't imagine that's your trying to imply it's an excuse for abuse but I feel like that's an important part of the conversation as well and wanted to add that.

on one hand, you're right about how frustrating the watering down of mental illnesses is and esp about the body dysmorphia stuff, but on the other hand.. "just because you're mentally ill doesn't mean you get to be toxic" is like. a true statement. like, i have bpd. if i'm shitty and abusive to someone, i don't get to just go "whoops, did i do that? i am a vessel dragged around by my mental illness, so you aren't allowed to hold me accountable". no. it's my responsibility as an individual to manage my symptoms in ways that won't hurt the people around me. and not just that but if my symptoms are a negative influence in their lives, they're allowed to not want to be around me (i say that having been on both sides of this). like yeah probably a lot of people say those sort of statements just because they're dismissive of mental illnesses and want to guilt trip people for things outside of their control, but i don't like the implication that all mentally ill people are exempt from responsibility for shitty awful things they did while experiencing symptoms