I almost abandoned myself...(raw, unfiltered, extended cut) 

I think I’ve realised that there are no forever homes or perfect homes. Everything is transient. The sanctuary is within us and we can take it everywhere and visit at any time. Peace within cannot be found without xx

Dear Wendy, I am a retired lady, recent cancer survivor, recently widowed. My beloved husband was my rock for 35 years. Now, alone, no children, also an outsider, unable to " fit in"...However, I recently began painting and I love it!, Gerry was a gifted artist but I did not realise I could paint. I love your videos...your personality shines. Your honesty. I think, like me, you are an Empath....very sensitive. Follow your intuition, your heart wisdom and all will be well. I will ask my Angels to lead you to your forever home. 💚🙏🌻🌻

A heartfelt thank you to every one of you who commented here.Reading all of your comments and resonating with so many of them gave me such a sense of renewed strength and determination. So many of us are feeling the same.We are not alone.

Thank you so much for including us in your journeys, physically and emotionally this year. I'm close in age - I'm turning 57 in 2 weeks! My life has been upturned in the past 2 - 3 years. Everyone's world was turned upside down in 2020, but I also lost my dad, due to diabetes complications, which I also have and have been taking more seriously. On September 30, 2021, my husband, who is only 3 months older than me, had a stroke. After several medical procedures for over six months, he is mostly back to normal, but a year to the date of his stroke, he retired. He wants to sell our home of over 15 years and move back to our home state of Texas. Our youngest of three moved into the dorms in the middle of August, after living with us. And 4 days later, our middle child who has severe autism and lives in a group home 1 1/2 hours away from us went missing. He was found the next morning, and we kept him with us for a week and a half. This is the second time this year. But the longest he's ever been missing. And now I'm trying to get back into my "normal" routine, which isn't normal because it's just my husband and me, which we haven't had in decades. Which is all to say that I'm sorry that you weren't able to get your cottage. It looked like it would have taken a lot of work, and the older we get, the less we're able to do physically. I've been dreaming about our next home. I'm sorry if I've shared too much, but it's hard to otherwise let you know that I do understand and empathize about needing to reground yourself in your life.

This, to me, is one of the most beautifully aesthetic videos I have seen so far from you ✨🙏✨ I think there is a veil of sadness around everyone these days as we go through this evolution and ascension-not just us humans but of the earth herself! So much has come out of the shadows for us to bring into the light- as the world carries shadows so de we. No wonder all of us are feeling all these emotions! In order to grow and change, the old must come up, be alchemized and be released. I have been experiencing this process for the past 3 years but even longer (only I wasn't as aware back then). It's not for the faint of heart- but we must become more heart-centered and trust ourselves. Letting go of old beliefs of ourselves, facing ourselves and loving ourselves. It's hard to do when so many are in relationships too, but alone time is key to our "innerstanding" of who we are in this world. Living in the moment is so hard for us, but if we try, even a few times a day, the fear and anxiety just disappear. I think it was very healing for you to do this trip to the sea, alone. If only we were taught how to heal ourselves from the very start of arriving here!! Blessings to you Wendy. Here's to the ones who are showing themselves courage and love. ✨❤✨

I found this very soothing and restorative. I’m turning 57 in two days and I’m struggling, as we all are at this age, with various changes and am tearful one minute, then anxious, then angry - so I love your videos. They ground me which is an amazing thing. Sending hugs x

Wendy, thank you for allowing me to tag along on your getaway adventure. I just entered the 70 crowd. I was starting to have a pity party, feeling sorry for myself because I can't do things I used to be able to do. But when I finished watching the movie "Jumanji, the Next Level", Grandpa Eddie used to say in the beginning, "Don't let nobody tell you different, but getting old sucks...later in the movie, he changes his idea to,"Getting old is a gift." It's my attitude, I need to change. Anyway, your getaway was so much needed. The place you went to...cozy, comfy, beautiful. You were brave to venture out...climbing the steps, sitting on the shore at night, catching sightings of who knows what😮. I loved it. The sari you bought, love. You were not alone. You were one with God and nature. Just Glorious❤ So, may you be filled with peace, inspiration, patience, hope, trust, love, and lots of other positive vibes. I am claiming all of this for myself as well. 😊👍

Beautiful little get away, Wendy. I hope the Moon and the tears have lifted some of your burdens. Much love!✨

I love those dark gloomy thundery days. I call them my Wuthering Heights days. I find them very atmospheric and inspiring. It's the sunny days I struggle with. I'm so glad you're making headway Wendy, and understanding where you're at. Lots of love ❤

This is one of the most beautiful, melancholy, gentle, introspective youtube videos I've ever seen. Thank you so much for sharing. For many personal reasons, I really needed this today, in this moment. ❤

I love your introspective posts, I think many of us are going through life's ups and downs. As I creep closer and closer to turning 56 - I have been trying to reflect on my life's journey. My personal ups and downs - am I grateful for what I have? yes; do I suffer from fear? yes; am I lonely at times? yes. The things that keep me in fear and loneliness is - I am in fact alone - I lost my husband just over 6 years ago now to complications from cancer. Since then, I have lost many more people from my life - illness, age, and the worst of all - friends due to profound disappointments (gossip, two faced toxicity). I, too, have been pondering am I in the right place for me? The universe seems to think so... I have been trying to sell my house to move once again - but 110 days on the market - no buyer. My next chosen adventure is a big one that will take me through mountain passes (the US Continental Divide) and I chose not to trek this path in the winter (icy, snowy roads). So, do I stay and try to get my roots to grow in sand? Or, do I try to sell again in the spring? I am not sure - maybe I haven't learned the lessons I was sent here to learn? In the mean time - I hope you get your fairy cottage - I know the feeling of wanting something so badly that it seems impossible to get. Hang in there Wendy, James and all of us here wondering what will be. 💖

What if our forever home isn’t a geographical location on a map? What if our forever home resides in our heart/soul? Would we be home wherever we are? If we could truly embrace that, would we stop yearning for that earthly abode we so desperately search for? I too want to be in a different place. The struggle is real. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. ❤️❤️❤️

I have abandoned myself also last month from negative association (not from friends or family). But what helped me get through one day at a time which I’m grateful for doing so is prayer. I’m not a religious person but my last hope was through a higher power and making myself slow down and take care of myself on weekend…and during the week let my life rely on the super power. I’m still on this voyage as if I’m letting god take the wheel.

Wendy, your trip to the sea was as restful for me as it was for you. Thank you for sharing! I believe that you will find what you are looking for soon. Keep believing and the universe will answer you.

Thank you so kindly for letting us walk with you, your truly blessed! Congradulation on your 18 month soberity! Lovely trip to the sea, i took some lovely pictures of the full moon also! Sent out my whispers to moon! Blessings,Peace

Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I want you to know your videos have really grown and refined over time and you've captured the essence of solitude for creatives or anyone who needs rejuvenating. I love all the nature(because that recharges me too)- your walks, the sound of the seagulls and beach- even your glimpses of whale wallpaper! We like to have a plan and know where we are going professionaly and personally but really we don't always know the twists and turns of our journey or the seeds we plant that help others along the way. Your videos always remind us to pay attention to our inner inklings and intuition, so thanks- with gratitude.

Thank you for this beautiful melancholy video. Perfectly reflects my current state of being. It feels so uplifting to be allowed to be down. I need to stop and allow myself to feel the bittersweet pain of now so I can let it go and refocus on the gratitude and open up to my next chapters. Btw I am 58 and like so many before mentioned these last 3 years took a toll on our family. I think as a collective whole we are all emerging from our emotional survival mode to try to rebuild a new life. Love to all my fellow unexpected gypsies!

I love how close to nature you spent these days, restoring your soul and finding your way back again. Everything was truly magical ☺

Full moon always affects me in many ways . I love the moon energy

Oh Wendy❤ thank you for taking us with you on your solo healing getaway. You have given me the courage to make a plan for myself to go somewhere later this fall.

"It's a mermaid!" My thoughts when I saw you in the ocean. Fairies of the sea 🧜‍♀🧚‍♀🌊

Don't give up Wendy. Life has a way to give us an annoying kick in the bum, but sometimes, it's life's way of leading you to a better road. Wishing you a better day filled with new hope 🥰🤗

Take care of yourself my dear friend. You are stronger than you realize. Please tell James hello. Sending love and big hugs Sherry ❤ ❤❤

Wendy, thanks for the virtual vacation. I really enjoyed this video and found myself relaxing as I looked at the sea with you. Clarity often comes when you distance yourself from a tangled environment and let nature calm you.

lovely retreat by the sea, Lyme Bay so beautiful; I really struggle more these last few years Im approaching 55 have anxiety depression, thank you Wendy for sharing your journey with us, I wish you continued wellness and happiness, you’re doing great hugs

Super Blue Moon Number Too! 🌚🌝 Powerful changes underway.

Dear Dear Wendy, don’t we all need our spaces. It’s a passage of growing older that we realize this need to get ourselves grounded to be able to face the problems we bring on to complicate our lives and minds. I have days when I feel I’m standing in a different dimension while the world rushes by. It’s overwhelming, so those are the times I need to spend doing for myself. My great auntie would tell us to let our fears go and come back to conquer them another day, right now we needed to live in our hearts not our minds. Gratitude is a heart and soul builder. Pure blessings to you and James 🥰🥰

Injuries take time to mend. Autumn colors have begun. Wiped out by a death & horrid drama -taking water colors out to plein air & paint carefree like a child today. Determined to take back my groove, my joy. Brush to paper like a talisman.

i'm 52 and menopausal...i've experienced 4 significant deaths over the last 10 years...my mom being last november...my husband and i have decided to downsize so we are packing up but haven't started looking for a new home yet...i feel like for the first time in my life that i can figure out who i want to be...writer? crafter? painter? gardner? i can be all of those people...i've figured out in the first chunk of my life that things are definitely a burden...and that home is wherever my husband is... i know you'll keep walking and loving and creating ❤ it's going to be ok

Thanks Wendy for your openness. I loved spending time with you on this trip called life. Be well.

So sad that your fairy tale cottage didn't work out. But of course we know that everything happens for a reason, and that means the real one will be even better and hopefully tick off all the boxes. How lovely that the beautiful moon provided a healing space. What a beautiful cottage to spend time in! May you have a lovely week filled with inner peace and beauty. Your light is always shining, even when you don't feel it yourself. It is always providing light for us. Bless you for that!

I’m so proud of you for drinking your tea! I hope that is not too forward of me to say. Watching your videos makes me full of hope and rooting for you! Congratulations on 18 months of sobriety! Sorry you did not get the cottage. Life really does have it’s twists and turns! May you have many blessings in other ways! Hugs for you!

In my experience when a plan goes wonky the universe usially has something better lined up. We then look back and marvel at the magic of it all. Love and blessings 🙏

you find the loveliest little retreat spots, thks for sharing. I felt out of sorts 10 years ago after my dearly loved father in law passed on when I was in my 50s, I wasn't able to concentrate and abandoned my uni study, reflecting that I wasn't loving it. I turned to art instead and am never melancholy anymore. I have finally learnt to seek my heartfelt needs, which ebb and flow, and consciously be grateful. I'm sure you will find your forever home but perhaps it won't be a picturesque cottage...mine is not, being in suburbia, but I have tweaked it over the last 30 years until it is perfect for me, including a large arts and crafts space and a hobby space for hubby too. Wishing you all the best in your search, I can say my little home has provided stability and a sense of safety for me.

Good morning from Canada Wendy. This video...good grief, I feel like I was there, feeling the same feels. I am wondering if I'm just feeling the weight of the world and trying to deny it. The melancholy creeps in and spills over in the strangest places and times. I have not been focusing on gratitude often enough. Maybe that will help. Thanks for this video. All time favourite.

James is your home. ;) In kindred spirit, Eliza Most Beautiful Day is Today! 5th of September 2023; 9:48pm Sydney Australia on our green couch, in our living room, on our laptops, all our movies are packed in the double garage storage, we had to watch our downloads... xx PS Loved it. Watched this twice. The second time just after a scary movie with Patrick. I said, "Wendy is my favourite RU-vidr", and your beach, forest, cabin, moonbeam and weird light moving across the sky, were captivating.

Thank you so, so much for being in my life Wendy. I too shed tears when I drop into your life witnessing how you share the human condition so honestly, so candidly with such innocent purity that you hardly ever find in day to day life. I never feel alone when I'm with you like an old friend.

What a lovely getway but more importantly a healing time. I've been a bit lost myself and am still trying to figure out why. Thanks for sharing so much that lets us all know we aren't alone in our experiences and/or uncertainties.

☺️I love how you woke up….coming out of your cocoon 💫🦋💫

Good Morning Wendy, I'm up early in Equador...Watching this video..I needed a bit of course correction myself this morning and I loved this video. My younger son gave me some insight this week was kind of shocking but much appreciated.( He is still in the USA, and I am here, I miss him very much. ) But I digress. "He told me that I had never taken any time for myself." I had to stop and think about this ALOT! This video sort of put some perspective on what he had said. I want to thank you. Much appreciated.

Hello dearest Wendy, thank you for sharing your special getaway time you so desperately needed. What really stood out to me was your visit by the Robin...wow and what a profound message from the Robin 👉🏻 The significance of seeing a Robin is the sign of new beginnings and renewal. They also appear spiritually reminding us to uncover happiness and they are also associated with entering a new chapter in your life. The Robin shows courage (you mentioned courage inspite of the presence of fear) When the Robin spirit animal comes to you (as it did on the chair) it's time to ground firmly and embrace your confidence. The message from the Robin is to trust in yourself and the people who love you. The visit by the Robin and its messages blends in so well and beautifully with your getaway. Blessing, love and hugs to you 🤗💗

If one doesn't feel butterflies, that help to take a risk and that leap of faith, it is a no. There are no 50/50 decisions. Take care, this year is tough for many too, don't know what it is. But together we'll keep our lights shining. ❤

Everything about that was lovely, from the scenery to the pretty music and your uplifting monologue. There’s always calm after the storm as well as before and I hope you’ll soon have enough stability in life to find and keep your feet. Some random observations…the place you stayed in was SO nice, I could happily live somewhere like that, the dark red robe you bought at the market was absolutely gorgeous and I want one, and your hair looks great tucked behind your ears and off your face ☺️. I’m keeping everything crossed that your true home will find you soon. Keep smiling 💛🌹

I'm sending you Love and Light from Washington state. Have a blessed week my beautiful friend 💖 🌟

What a beautiful place to ground and recharge your batteries. I’m sorry you didn’t get your little cottage and I know how disappointing that must have been but I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason!

As a 40-something single person, this video really resonated with me. I have a lot of solo adventures & they’re always revealing and a mixture of different emotions. I’m glad you could have this getaway. Thanks for sharing it with us! 🩵

Such a wonderful retreat, thanks for the honest and beautiful video.

Such a beautiful area! I've been watching you since "the Januaries" and it seems you've been having such a struggle this year. I pray all works out, and do love how you always turn to your art for self love & nurturing. ❤

This little cottage is so lovely and the TEDDY - such a wonderful memory. As far as the cottage in the woods. I felt all the way over here, that was going to be a financial nightmare and no matter how much you wished, I kept hoping you wouldn’t take it. Wendy, your little piece of tranquility will come, and your heart will sing when it shows up. Patience is something that we all must practice. Sending you big love from the states because I can feel yours all the way over here.

Love Lyme , I have spent many a happy time (15years visiting Monmouth Beach (where you were staying) with my late partner. Sadly he passed and I do day trips there but its not the same without him, even though I feel an infinity with the sea and all Lyme has to offer,, I'll never capture those happy days. Treasure times with James, life is short ❤❤ Ps I always took my Fairy lights when we stopped in cottages etc

Wonderful music to go along with the sound of the crashing waves. You also have such a storytellers voice, truly soothing.

Hi Wendy! I just had to share... My first teddy bear is 52 years old. I got him on my 5th birthday and guess what I named him? Teddy!! 😂 As always thank you for the fabulous videos of your interesting life and travels. You’re an amazing person!! 😊💝

I was searching for a new video from "the unexpected gypsy." & today, my wish was granted.

A dear old friend of mine always says : " What's for you won't go by you ". The advice didnt always make me feel better in my younger days when i was guilty of pushing through with things that weren't always in my best interest. I've learnt not to " push the river ". x

Stairway to heaven ❤

I for one loved your beach adventure. We Aquarius' need to be by the sea to feel alive. I'm sorry you are experiencing a touch of melancholy, it happens to the best of us. Your "forever home" will appear when you least expect it, it's sort of like falling in love.🧚‍♀

Thank you so much for always sharing with us - I'm sure sometimes you may not feel like it. Please know that your energies and spiritual revelations have helped me with some of my own difficult spaces. Sending hugs and love from my own beach town in Florida to you!!

You are such a beautiful soul inside and out. I hope you find all you desire.

This video was the medicine I needed. I just got home from having to put my baby kitty cat to Eternal rest and the pain is real. This video really made me feel better and calm. Wendy you are a special beautiful soul❤❤❤

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Had that book. Was a big help.

Rest assured that there is a home out there for you and you will certainly find it. In the meantime, how wise to take Holy days (that is the origin by the way) and find a way back to yourself. Lovely to see this self-honouring journey.

What a beautiful person ❤

ox's to the Sea! Thanks Wendy for my visual holiday while sitting here in the high desert. lj

Yes, courage dear heart and soft hugs! Susan

Beautiful~ to be where we want, need, aspire to be. The human longing.

This past "super, blue moon" had a powerful effect on our emotions. Sometimes, I forget that - it will pass. Good work on your end, Wendy.

I really enjoyed this video. It took me to a place where I found myself, along with you. First of all you are just beautiful, beautiful and natural. The last few years have had their challenges for me and a few months ago lost my mom from this world. I say from this world because I believe we'll be together again. I'm 51, and married (to an Englishman), no children and just a half sibling I didn't grow up with. So, at times, and actually today before I watched your video, I was feeling quite alone. This is all part of being a human being and I understand that too. I do find it beautiful that we can reflect and express our thoughts and feelings. Life can be mysterious. A heartfelt hug from Massachusetts.

What a beautiful place to get away, i hope you filled up all you senses and released all the old and cleansed your soul ,thank for this opportunity to go to this magical place what a blessing, love is the key, always 💞

Beautiful Beautiful inside outside thank you for sharing your journey Wendy darling ❤️

I really enjoyed myself watching this video. You are a special and admirable woman.

oh my, this was so beautiful, thank you! and yes, that moon scene made me tear up and by the time of the robin i was just crying. sending love

Thank you so very much for this video Wendy. You don't know how much it helped me through a very difficult time. It was the escape I needed and I could live in that small home by the sea forever! :) Love and hugs to you dear one.

This video is a wonderful gift for us all. Your nice sensibility always touches me so much. Love from France with all my heart.

Thank you so much for sharing your trip with us. I lived in the UK for 5 years and magical sea side towns were such a healing place for me as well. Seeing your video was a beautiful reminder. I do miss it now that I am back in the US. Always grateful for sharing time and space for you. Be extra gentle with yourself goddess!

she is such a beautiful woman🙏

I want to add another reply to say this video is beautiful! Thank you for sharing with us!

The best is yet to come don’t get discouraged. Be curious, explore your new place is just around the corner. Dream it with all you heart and it will be there. Love the music.

I Love your Videos. I‘m Full of emotions watching you …. So greatfull to find you here ❤

A lovely beautiful video this week l, which resonated so much with me. Oh to take myself away and ground myself. I need to follow your suit.

Your video let me feel the loneliness ..nobody to show the moon ..the beautiful.pebbles..the cute compartment ..i am every day alone ..so surely not on vacation!! May you find peace in the Allmighty God ..lov from South Africa 🇿🇦 🇿🇦 🇿🇦

Hello Wendy, Thanks for the trip to the beach, we didn't get out to the coast this summer. Thank you also for defeating those steps, the scenery was outstanding ☕🤗

It felt like I was there with you. Thank you Wendy. My partner passed away in January so I have to start on solo trips myself. I had two car camping weekends already. Just me and my dog. I love the sea and and am already planning trips for next year. ❤❤ I hope you will find your dream cottage one day. But as long as you and James are together you can make any place your home. You are such a wonderful couple. ❤❤

Thank you Wendy for taking us with you, beautiful music and your soft spoken voice...it was Magic.. so uplifting. Thank you very much and be well dear Wendy.😊

Such a beautiful retreat! I am happy you had some quite time. House hunting can be very exhausting. We are thinking about in the early months of 2025 getting us a home. Have a wonderful holiday. ❤

I'm glad you let it all go. I'm glad you are back in gratitude.

letting go forgiving being thankfully is the way out

This video journey of yours touched me deeply 🩵🌊🌕🌟 & How beautiful to have a partner that sees you. The gift of time is beautiful 🩷🌟

Beautiful. Appreciate the shared retreat Wendy. Love from Massachusetts

I’ve seen the starlight satellites on a few occasions just this past August it’s quite the site. thank you for including us in your little get away. Many blessings on your journey ❤

Sending you a huge warm healing hug ❤ beautiful place you stayed at, it's great to get away and the sea air is such a good tonic, something l need to do too x and thank you for opening up and sharing, it's one of the things l love about you your pure authenticity x

Beautiful, Wendy. Much love and gratitude. 🌷🌷🌷

Thank you, so greatful for this video, I haven’t had an actual holiday in nearly 30 years but as I watched your video it felt like I was on vacation with you and it made me realise I need to prioritise a holiday. Much love and peace to you both on your journey to your forever home.🫶🫶🫶🫶

Gosh your vlogs are just absolutely delightful. You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your wee soul cleanse with us. Much love from New Zealand xx

howlovely! you are a very fortunate woman to be able to escape and spend such quality time with yourself! I never get that kindof oportunity...I am full time care giver to my elderly Dad so I never get to be alone, much less vacation to the sea alone. thank you.....very lovely video.

The seaside looks so breathtaking and serene. I hope your journey leads you to a place closer to your heart.

This was such a lovely video, how generous to take the time to share your wonderful retreat space & time with us. Being by the water is so healing, there is nothing else like it in my mind. (I love the mountains of my home in Colorado but I do miss the water from my childhood in Michigan, then early married years right on Lake Michigan in Chicago.) You find the best, unique & charming places to stay. Your reminder to be grounded in gratitude was very timely. As you search for your special place to truly call home, I am nested in mine….I was a wanderer for a long, long time but found the place when I wasn’t looking! That may be the best way to find the ideal as expectations aren’t heightened and the joy of a serendipitous find adds to the charm of my home. Even after 28 years though, I continue to make changes, some subtle, some not but for me change is always driven first by function, creating spaces to do the things that bring me joy & feed my soul. It will happen for you too…. I always love to watch you sketch Wendy, and the brief snippet of sketching near the end of this was amazing as you brought the woman to life in just a few moments. I admire your skill…..

You are lovely... and I always felt the little remote cottage would not be the dream you think it could have been... I know from experience of a hovel 50 years ago,,,, and currently not a hovel but a very demanding 1850 with one part Napoleonic and another 1950sw barn conversion with land is beautiful but hard work and beyond my budget,,, that;s the thing with Datchas and beautiful properties however small they need expertise and miney to manage and maintain........ so I am happy for you that you found a beach place and have a very understanding patient so it appears partner. You really are blessed!

This touched me deeply. I too am in a temporary place and have been turning inwards to find my bedrock.

Seem like you and I have the same thoughts and feelings at the same time, that’s why I enjoy your videos so much. You help me in so many ways.

I hear you 💜 I find as magical ones, we become open to the wonder of life but it seems to intensify all the feels. I keep in my mind the lower the lows the higher the highs ✨ Thank you for taking me on an enchanted escape ⭐🌕⭐ Unplanned rituals are the best✨