I Can't Convince My Husband to Move Out of His Parents' House! 

I couldn't imagine the level of...power that the in-laws have over them. I would utterly loathe it.

I always try to imagine my life without a mortgage. That’s gotta be incredible!

$72K, That is $500 per month per person over 6 years, how do they not have a down payment?

When your bills lower you tend to either spend more or make less and are ok with that, so if they only make enough money to live a lifestyle where there is no mortgage or rent thats a financial problem, sounds like they are NOT saving anything during these years of having such a big advantage to do so...

In six years they should have saved up a 20% down payment. Unless he wants to buy a house out right. Interesting

Parents should have charged rent and then gift it to the kids after they move out. Huge down payment for sure.

There’s a difference between having a familial culture of multigenerational cohabitation vs agreeing to a temporary arrangement and not having your life together 6 years later when you have adult jobs and no major financial responsibility.

i'm sorry but something don't sound right with this one. 6 years of not paying rent!

I'm living with my parents and saving also, but once you're married the equation changes. Especially with two incomes.

You guys should have guidelines for online questions. Where are they on the baby steps? How much debt they have? What is their household income? If I had just those questions answered I would know what to think about this call.

My daughter, her husband and their kids live with me and I love it. Her husband is the son I always wanted. I care for the children when they are at work and we all get along well. The house is big and it's going to them when I die anyway so I don't see why they would ever have to leave unless they move to a different city.

This happened with my brother and his wife. After they finally moved out, their life took off in a few ways. My brother got a considerable raise and now, they're renting AND looking at purchasing a home.

Omg I could have written this question myself as we are in the exact same situation. But for us it's been 17 years!! He keeps saying we can't afford it and repeatedly reminding me that once his parents die, the house will be ours!, but personally I think he's loving the free life, as the only pay outs we have are our cars and we both work full time.

let me get 6 years rent free, watch if i wouldn't save at least 100 k, even with a 27k per year job

New plan for the daughter. Tell her parents that her husband loves the house and they want to BUY it. No down payment needed, 2.5 Loan, 15 year fixed. Everyone’s happy, And they’re investing in their future.

If they're living rent-free at one of the houses the parents own (i.e., not living with the parents), I don't see a problem, as long as they're saving money, and as both Anthony and John said, clearly discuss their plans and desires for the future.

Wow I left my parents' house at the age of 18. 27 years later I never return expect for visiting them.

It depends a lot on the relationship between the couple and the parents/in-laws. If there's a lot of manipulation and control or emotional abuse on the part of the in-laws, the couple needs to get out yesterday.

6 years rent free? I'd have debt paid off and I'd be rolling in dough. I'd like to hear the husband's thoughts, though.

I know we don’t know the entire story but all I gotta say is if you give me SIX years of not having to pay mortgage/rent... I could do some damage. I’m not understanding why they’re not in a better position?

Time to grow up and be a big boy! After 6 years rent free you can’t afford a home??

Some people have weird issues.

Her husbands parents are sooo generous! They have totally overstayed and should move out. Where is the money they should have been saving for the past 6 years????

I think if they had alot of money save up i don't think she would be unhappy. It must be that they are just sitting around and not seeing much of a growth in the bank account. when u have less bill you don't try hard syndromes

Bare minimum should have atleast 40k saved by now. Individuals have a hard time living under their income level. They consume and consume until theres nothing left. Pretty sad.

My wife is still emotionally living with her parents

Dave and his team did a great job choosing the next generation of on air talent.

Thank you for sharing!

I’m sorry I’m not living with my parents and my husband for 6 yrs . Their both the problem

@2:25 agreed. I’d like to hear from the husband and maybe even his parents.

Need more information- does she work or she’s unemployed, do they pay bills in the house or no bills at all - do they buy groceries and backyard products like pool cleaners or gas for the lawnmower.

Are the parents living there with y'all or Is it just their home, because i think there's arguably a big difference between the two... From the video i can't say for sure which,

My mortgage is $500 (below average, but easy number to work with). As a single person, and only counting the house payment, I could save $36,000 in 6 years. The have TWO people working and if they're doing anything right, they should be saving more than just what they would have spent on rent. I'm so confused.

She needs to recalibrate her husband 😂

The only excuse for staying would be if they are bound & determined to pay cash for a house. If the problem is runaway spending and lack of a disciplined budget, (and from the sounds of it, the family is fine with letting them slide) then there's some co-dependency going on and that sense of maturity isn't going to just materialize out of thin air.

When this happened to me and my husband. I just told my husband that he can stay with his parents and I can just go to my parents so that way he doesn't have to choose between me and his parents. My husband got so scared for me to leave that he was inspired to follow my advice to be on our own. This while being married for 6 months.

So.. the parents aren’t actually living there? What’s the problem? I sometimes feel like “honor” and “respect” are sometimes such overwhelming and confounding sentiments that it makes people look real stupid. I need more information..

I couldn't be in the parents or the adult children's situation. I can't imagine not paying rent if living with in laws. I believe once you are married, you should have your own place from parents unless emergency occurs. I can't imagine adult children living with me period, unless an emergency occurs and only temporarily.

6 YEARS! Hope you stacked 💰

I am not moving unless the in-laws are causing problems. Plus, there is not sufficient money to buy a home. Staying. Was there an end game plan?

She and him, should be losing respect of yourselves, free rent? What a free loader.!

Move out. Living with parents is bad for marriages. It doesn’t allow the couple’s relationship to mature.

6 years: I would’ve enough money to buy a house comfortably.

Like a young Chris and Dave, the patawans growing up💯

God help me. My husband and I are in a similar situation and we have been living in my parents house with our seven year old, for way too long 😢 Its been 7 years.

Im 33 and living with my parents. Rents and buying prices are very expensive here in south germany. This way i only pay my part of the rent and can save more money. When i would move out, i would have to pay x3 times more rent. But even when i save, the housing prices just go up and up. Its madness, real estates are priced like palaces and i probably wont ever be able to buy a house, ending up in a trailer and move with the working opportunities like grazing animals in sahara desert moving with grazing land and water.

So husband is comfortable in this situation. Isn't that what we all strive for? Bye bye wife!

I would either pay "rent" that goes into a account to buy a home. Or arrange with the parents to rent to buy the home from them if they are happy with that.I do think it's fine if the parents have no mortgage and no need for money and will be giving to him in their will eventually anyways, but I would still be put some money into an account so that if it's needed in the future to get a home they can, and if not then they can buy one for their child. I heard of a family that did that, brought a home for his kids, they paid rent on it that went into an account and that money brought homes for their kids who paid rent on it etc etc.

6 years that should be enough to pay off a decent house depending on where you live. They are not saving sounds like.

Just because they're not paying rent doesn't meant they're not paying other debts. For all we know, the parents have no issues with them staying there forever.

I don't get it why move from somewhere that's rent-free to somewhere you gotta pay rent ?

Dude should have maxed out his 401k and IRA for every year of those six years. Anything less is irresponsible.

I really don’t think that’s a problem related to her parents or free rental. They probably have not saved up as much as she expected. He’s lame and has no ambition. What kind of women or men would be happy for their spouses when they are not trying their best to live together?

Tell him your leaving without him. I bet he will follow.

What are the parents losing in not being able to rent out the house? Six years living rent-free? Could not do it.

? what would the parents do, if they were not living in the property? ? sell it, put the proceeds into a beneficiary account, and give to them when they die. 6, half dozen or the other

6...Years?!?!? No rent or mortgage for 6 years I would have $150,000 in the bank JUST based off rent! How are they not ready?!? This is insane.

The man isn’t stepping up. I’m sorry if this offends I don’t care how mature or professional a woman is, and that’s OK not against that, but men need to act responsibly be the pillar of strength because if this lady is losing respect for her husband than he’s not being a pillar. The advantage that this couple has has had should have put them a very fine position by now and the man could have bettered himself period no excuses.

I know a couple in a very similar situation... looking away .

Six years rent free and you can’t even put down a good $200,000 at least on a house?? Give me a break! My husband and I saved $60,000 for our house down payment in 2 years WHILE paying rent that was 20% of our take home pay. You’re disorganized and directionless.

I think the issue with the respect and mature adults part is that the parents haven’t given them room to do things on their own. She doesn’t want to rely on others for her and her husband to survive anymore. I don’t want to be married and be living in my in laws home either with them, or in their extra home, because I don’t want to feel like a free loader, I also want privacy, and I definitely don’t want strings attached to anything. My girlfriend and I have talked about that for when we get married to help pay off student loans by staying with her parents because their basement is basically it’s own apartment except you still have to enter through the front door then walk through the house to get to the basement. I don’t want to be 28 and living with in-laws. I’d rather grow on our own and accept full responsibility for our lives and either work more or take a little bit longer to pay things off. I get what she’s saying.

I wish I knew how long it would take for them to buy. 6 years, I'm hoping they saved up quite a bit.

The 2nd String Team missed an important question. Would the husband take a monthly check from his in-laws in the amount of what that home should rent for? What has this couple been doing with the money in their rent or mortgage budget over these 6 years? 6 years of saved rent payments is a 30% down payment.

Turn it into a frat house and charge covers! 🍻

6 years and you don't have a large amount of money saved up.

Anthony...i love the wisdom.

Sad... he probably has the money and ain't telling her.

Get rid of the crutches and start to walking!

The title is wrong, and the reality is even worse. It should say, "My husband wont move out of MY parents' house."

If your wife is losing respect for you, it’s time to bounce! It’s been 6 years of free living, so you have to take responsibility for yourself at some point and start making the moves that will get you where you need to be long-term! Getting comfortable can ruin your ability to move forward! 💯

I agree a man is way harder to convince me and my mom easy my dad my husband and my brothers I try for weeks and months and if they’ve decided to make a bad decision they have too much pride and they stick with it

It’s not less mature, it’s a better situation, financially especially. If she wants to move, they need to discuss it together. They both agreed to move there, and they both need to agree to move.

6 Years for FREE ?

They need to hear the husbands side. Her side of the story sounds suspect at best.

Wow!

This couple will not grow until they get out of the in-laws home. They should have a boatload of money!

Hey, I'm a female from Ohio, about to be 21 in a couple of weeks in February. When I was 18, at the end of 2020 I met this man who was sweet, kind, and loving from North Carolina, absolute dreamboat. I moved in with him and his family into a small mountain town in North Carolina in 2021 after I graduated high school. His family and us have STRUGGLED financially for various reasons to the point of eviction. I love him more than words can say and want to spend my life with him but unfortunately I'm not happy where I'm at. I miss my family and friends, being in a big city, having the endless possibilities at my fingertips. But he doesn't want to move away from his family, like maybe once they are financially stable he will like to have our own place, but as far as moving closer to my family I don't ever seeing him being ok with ever. I don't know what to do and I'm honestly very lost, to the point I don't even recognize myself anymore hardly. I know it's my fault because I decided to move when I didn't have to but I didn't know how it would impact me and I do still very much love and want him. What do I do? I'm afraid of losing him if I pushed the matter about how I feel

Jon said they're living in one of her parents' properties, so the parents probably aren't there. It sounds like she's ready for the next step & her comment about respect is very telling - she's probably frustrated since she's been talking to him about moving for a couple of years, & possibly that he's taking advantage of her parents generosity. I imagine she feels like she's still tied to her parents & wants complete independence. Not sure what their bills & income are like, but setting the goal for having a downpayment by a certain date needs to be part of the plan so they can see a physical step toward having their own place.

My question, does she have her half of the downpayment for the house 🏠 Is she working, and how much a year

What's the doctor's name????

Yep. Mostly agree. I don't think making the decision to move back with someone's parents to resolve a serious situation is immature. It's quite a mature choice to seek help when you truly need it. Again, it's a serious critical situation like I'm about to be homeless. Or I've got cancer. If its.. I don't want to pay bills.. then you're not an adult It's even ok to go there without a plan. Simply because you're in an emergency. However.. once things are a bit more stable.. you need a plan. Not having the plan. Or even trying to make one is the immature part.

someone's being lazy staying in house free of rent for 6 years means at least 60k most likely 100k plus saved up. its not just him its her as well make a plan now stay til plan is complete stack up money now.

Tracy wants hubby to shell out cash and do the opposite of a good financial decision. Briffaults Law, it's there nature. I don't blame them the species (and mostly all successful species) survived because of it.

He needs some man books! Help him with his mission. All that time they could have saved rent payments to pay cash for inexpensive home or have at least a good down payment.

How many bills do they have

Why move out?? If the house is big, the parents are loaded, sounds awfully sweet to me. I'd love to live rent free in a guest wing of a mansion until I inherit the main house. Go with it!

I would stay for as long as possible and save up!

Ask for a divorce unless he gives in.

The main question is, you live there for 6 years. How much money do you have save to "buy a house".

Connecticut is not Tennessee. Its much more expensive to buy a house there. I could buy a house in Tennessee cash but dont want to live there.

I don't see the problem here. If the parents let them stay there for free, so what? Not any different than if the parents gave them a house.

You can’t beat free rent though, so it’s a win-win for both

Are they living with their parents or living at one of their properties?

U can rule the world with that kind of problem solving I think that’s a great idea (but as soon as he has to pay for it he’s going to want to move)

Where is Dave Ramsey???!!!

0:53 I get the feeling that the other guy might be slightly intimidated by the fact that John has a Ph.D.

I’m shocked Anthony is still single, he’s hot and smart, he must have some crazy baggage that we don’t know about.

No matter how she presents it free rent is going to win every time.

The huge problem isn’t that they get to live rent free, but the husband is okay with someone else providing for his family and no plan for advancement. Listen you can’t just continuously give a man things. Nope, they need to work for it. The comments keep talking about living with parents. It’s very different if your mom comes to live with you than you living in her house.

.......Please start off by acknowledging this tragic day...We Will Never Forget....