I don’t belong here 

when it starts off with interstellar, you just KNOW it's gonna be good.

It's fascinating how just a couple of hours ago as I was coming back home from a long day, being completely dreaded with thoughts and problems, I kept repeating to myself, "I just know I don't belong here. This life doesn't even feel like mine, it's like I'm living somebody else's life. Life is moving terribly fast and it's going to accelerate faster from today on." It's a little overwhelming, everything in general. I don't even have anybody I can run into and tell them things I feel because I'm aware that nobody will ever be able to comprehend the complex emotions I feel, how they eat parts of me every single day like a parasite. I even told my mom how I'm turning into a version of me that I don't even consent to. I hope I can be where I belong later in life if not now. I'll be patiently waiting and living until then.

You know it hurts more. When dreaming of a place that brings comfort, yet it has no place for you in it.

I am homesick for a place that doesn't exist

When you read all those beautiful comments you just know how powerful is music to connect special people in one place.

“The boy who was not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth.” If you do not feel as if you belong, please, achieve so astronomically higher than anyone else so those who didn’t welcome you now look up to you.

The shadows of the night, Creep in and steal my sight, As I wander in this place, Feeling like a stranger, out of place. The people here, they smile and greet, But I know that I'm incomplete, For I don't belong in this space, I'm just a soul, without a place. I try to fit in, to be a part, But I feel it in my heart, That I'm not meant to be here, That my presence brings a tear. The laughter echoes through the air, But all I can do is stare, Wondering why I feel so alone, In this place that should be home. The walls are closing in, As I try to find my kin, But all I find is emptiness, And a sense of hopelessness. I don't belong, it's crystal clear, And with every passing year, The pain just grows and grows, And my heart just overflows. For I know that I will never find, A place where I can truly unwind, And so I wander, lost and forlorn, A soul that will never be reborn.

I am 18. At this age, my neuropsychologist told me I am autistic. The bullying, sadness, and being misunderstood for everything covers force these present days. Understanding this, I got to know my foolishness, unconsciousness and feeling like I just don't belong here. No one understands me, but judges me. I want to find the place I belong, so this reality can be more manageable. Not being able to talk about how I feel, is the worst experience this world can possess.

Cold loneliness is just unexplainable.

i feel like the villain of my own story. it's been eight years since i've felt this way the first time and it never gets better. i don't have anyone to talk to and people say that i'm annoying. i kinda agree. today my mom just sent me messages that made me feel so useless, i just can't deal with this shit anymore. now, i just exist. everyday i sit in a dark room and listen to this type of music for hours. it's the only way i found to feel something, feel alive and at least cry for a minute.

The boy in the picture, he's looking for someone to reach out and tell him it's going to be okay 😢 its beautifully made

Just wanna tell you that you did amazing today

Imagine listening to this in space while having infinite life and staring at the aspects of space and the infinite darkness of space while you are completely alone, earth is gone and you are in a deep slumber

I was expecting for a "Creep - Radiohead" themed playlist, but what I found was so much better. Love it.

You need to go to the darkest parts of yourself in order to get better. Accept and soothe those parts in order to move forward. And remember, you can't trip over what's behind you.

I love watching the night sky filled with beautiful stars and smily 🌙 moon~ they all are my friends they always smile at me i love them♡ This music is magnificent ✨

This playlist reminds me of this quote it is one of my favorite: _"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood"_ *George Orwell*

the thumbnail kinda breaks my heart. that look, full of sorrow, sadness and tiredness is something i sadly can relate to. sending big and warm hugs to whoever needs them. we will eventually be happy, i know we will. ❤

Something I can not let go is overthinking. The deeper I go, the darker it gets, and the darker it gets, it'll be harder to get up, I don't feel like fighting, I just want peace. I don't want to be physically in this world, which drives me crazy even more.

Listening to this while watching snow fall on the mountains. Made me think “These are the moments we live for.”

Time stamps ;) 0:00 - Cornfield Chase 2:21 - Solas 6:50 - Snowfall 9:21 - Great Fairy's Fountain 11:17 - Deep Thoughts 13:34 - Waiting For You 15:38 - Cold Loneliness 18:54 - Remnants of Genesis

Reading the comments and realizing I’m not the only empathic soul who can reach such beautiful depths…

This music brings the best community we could ever ask for, a community that shares emotional struggle and have no one to turn to.

Been in the dark for so long that now it provides me with the tender warmth that I so longed

I think I'll take something off my chest too. So there was this girl I met a long time ago when I was like 9, but after a year she disappeared and I never heard anything of her again. One day during my first year in high school she came into the classroom and I immediately recognised her, and her me. In those five years we were inseparable, we acted like a couple so much so that our friends thought we really were. We were always together, always hugging each other, we used to sing ''You are my sunshine'' to one another, it was our song, she sang really well, I used to play it with my guitar. In the last year of high school things went a bit south, we still were acting like a couple we even kissed sometimes (we had our masks on so I don't know if that counts because we never kissed when we hadn't one), and we were thinking of doing it, we joked about it, but we almost did it. She used to call me her boyfriend sometimes, as a joke I guess, because we never actually made it official, and also because she was texting other guys. Anyway one evening we are at a friend's birthday and I hear her talking to one of her friends saying that she never cared about me and that she enjoyed making me think I was special to her. She didn't know I heard that, but my heart broke into a million pieces, after that moment it came to me just how badly she treated me, all the silences, all the times she insulted me, all the times she disappeared without a reason, all the times she ignored me, in that moment I understood just how much I was emotionally dependent from her. Remember when I said about the kisses, well it went like this one day she kissed me, and I felt great, then the next day she kissed me and I felt great, then all of a sudden she didn't and I felt miserable, I used to torture myself thinking what had I done for not getting a kiss, and the next day she would kiss me again. So I didn't know what to think, I started realizing how bad she was treating me and started to stop thinking about her, but I still had to imagine us together at night to sleep. It was horrible. One day she is arguing with her girl best friend, her friend is angry at her because she is ignoring her and treating her badly, and I joined in the argument, thinking it could have brought something good because it was the same thing I was angry at her for, she was shouting and I said she was a horrible person for treating the people around her so badly and coming back to them only when she needed something, I meant what I said and I did that because I hate when people treat other badly and I wanted to defend her friend that was being shouted at. Now I think it was not my fight and maybe I didn't have to get involved but then I remember I did it for protecting someone and that I meant what I said, so after all I have no regrets. After that day she blocked me on social media and I haven't talked to her in nearly a year. I still miss her even after remembering how she treated me. I really thought we were made for one another, and I still think we will meet again. We said we loved each other so many times, and I meant it, she said that if it was her last day she would have spent it with me, and I believed her. Now she lives in japan and I'm happy for her, it was her dream, and I'm happy she's there, unfortunately now she is alone, all her friends left her because she treated them badly too. I can't play our song on the guitar anymore because I start crying. Sometimes I look at our pictures and cry. I really miss her, but don't miss how she treated me. I'm thinking of texting her, she won't read it so I don't need to fear what she'll say, but I want to say to her that I miss her, that I don't regret what I did because now I'm feeling better without her ''manipulation'', that I wish things were different, and that I wish we could still be together, just to take it off my chest like I'm doing here. I don't want to lie, I am sad about it I guess otherwise I wouldn't be crying, but I am happy that I realized how bad it was, I'm glad that I managed to get out of that situation, I am grateful for this hard thing I had to overcome because it made me stronger, and I am proud of the man I am becoming, but it is true that this thing really hurt me, now I find it very difficult to trust other people, I find it so difficult to love someone because I start thinking they are lying and that I should get away before it becomes more painful. Here it comes, I guess it's hard for me to think I am worthy of being loved, I know it's not true and that I should feel a different way, but I never had a girlfriend, every time I tried it went wrong, and right now I'm tired of trying, or some could say afraid of getting hurt again, but even after this event I tried and put my heart in the hands of cupid with someone else, as you can imagine it didn't go as good as I thought. Thank you to whoever will read all these words and thank you for lightening this burden of mine.

This means so much for me. The title, the art. I felt like a stranger all my life. Everywhere I went, I could feel and see with my own eyes that I'm not a part of it, that they're themselves, and I'm myself. I easily understand people but people just aren't on the same chapter as me and I rarely make an actual long lasting connection with anyone. I really dont know how people fit in so instantly, in the end I always end up by myself doing my own thing. I've told many people about this and a lot of them agreed but at the same time couldn't quite get parts of me. They would tell me I'm very social and extraverted so why do I feel this way, well suck it. That doesn't mean I feel good. And maybe that's why I chose to be an artist, to at least express these opinions, views and thoughts filled in me. People always told me I'm different, everyone at least once said that to me. And I do wonder that's why I'm sentenced to this loneliness, because I came here for a different purpose and I'm just on another chapter and book than others. But I suppose all of us have a chapter of our own in this Book of Purpose. The feeling of unbelonging never leaves.

I don't know why . I miss someone

To all the people who got their feelings hurt by the world, its going to be alright, wishing to leave the world is not the answer, just you know, you're stronger than what you look and smarter than what you think . Don't give up just now. The world still needs a beautiful human like you around .

Hey if your reading this, just remember that this pain is temporary and will not last forever, and while your going through it your not alone we are all in this together doing the best we can, I'm proud of you for still being here fighting everyday, cus it's really not easy but you still strong enough to not give up, know that I care about you and I'm glad your here, your feelings are valid and I believe you'll get to a better place with time. I hope this helps, you don't have to accept my comment or like it but I just did it for the people who needs it. Remember to drink water get some rest and check on your loved ones❤️.

When the title says "I don't belong here" for me, very recently, it means I don't belong here, with myself, that I don't belong with my mind, it is betraying me, I want to escape it, I wanted to escape the home I am in, but I couldn't fathom where I would feel better being. In reality I wanted to escape my mind, because right now, I don't belong here with it. I know I will find peace with it one day, but it is the most troubling feeling to so much as want to run away from yourself. And yet it is just trying to process everything that is going on around it at the moment. Be kind to yourself, don't expect yourself to understand yet, the reason it is taking its time is because it is important, and it's okay not to know yet. Don't expect yourself to cope in some perfect sort of way, it's not realistic to expect that, as humans we are all learning these journies together, whether that be the first or the hundredth time. Nothing can make it easier than allowing it and learning from it. If anyone else is going through something, remember to never stop loving yourself, you are worthy and stronger than you realise.

Born 1993, when I was around 5/6 me and my family had to move to Germany, Osnabruck because my Dad was stationed there for being in the British Army. We stayed there until 2001. I can honestly say from what memories are still there in my head, are the best years of my life. If I could just relive those days, just for a few hours, I would be so happy. I spend hours crying happy/sad tears on Google Earth Pro with the time machine of the maps. Seeing my old Primary School before it was demolished. Seeing the Army barracks my dad was at before that too was sadly demolished. Seeing my old childhood home which I haven't seen since we left 22 years ago. It's even more saddening with how Germanys privacy laws are. Google Street view is practically none existent. So the buildings and the streets I fondly remember are mainly just these pixelated resemblances of buildings that I still vividly remember from my childhood but i can't see how are now or was a few years ago. I only have what I remember, and the odd remnants of videos here on RU-vid which is extremely lacking and rare to find. The walks we went on, the Warner Brothers Movie Theme Park down south near Dorsten. Pony rides in the woods and picking the oldest one there who was called Boris. I picked him all the time because he liked to eat the grass a lot which made the ride last longer so I could spend more time with him. The little & big lake walk just behind the Nettebad. The traditional Christmas Markets in the town centre. Playing video games when my Dad finally came home on my Playstation 1, we would try and beat the games in one day but never could because I didn't have a memory card. Getting excited whenever Pokemon was on the TV. Friends round mine to share the big swimming pool I had. Watching Halloween Town before going out trick or treating. Finding our first ever pet, a kitten abandoned behind a grit bin while we were on a bike ride and taking her home, we named her Millie. So many memories. All lost to time. With only old VHS tapes & photographs to try and relive those memories at least just a tiny bit. Oh what Id do just to go back to those days. Nostalgia is such a beautiful but cruel mistress. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I Miss you Osnabruck. I miss you childhood. But. I have a baby daughter now. And I honestly can not wait to be the best father I can possibly be. And to make everlasting memories with her that she can look back on and smile just as much as I do looking back at the ones I made with my Mum & Dad. Oh Germany. Oh Osnabruck. Oh childhood. You were the best of days. I'll revisit you one day. With the whole family hopefully.

If you're struggling or going through something, and you think nobody else understands, just remember that it's okay. Other people know these feelings that you bottle up so tightly, you just have to muster up the courage to tell them. Don't lose yourself to despair, don't drown, you're worth so much more than you might think. No matter what situation you're in, try to look at things from the brighter side. Don't be pessimistic when nothing warrants the sad behavior, keep yourself together. The best advice I could offer as an internet stranger is to intelligently decide what decisions you want to commit to, don't brainwash yourself, and keep yourself together. Keep up your room, keep yourself hydrated, go to the gym if you want to feel better about yourself, eat a plentiful amount of food, and brush your teeth. Maintain your body, and try to find comfort in things you already do, or things you're new to. If you like video games, don't let anybody tell you what to do. If you like playing the piano, keep playing the piano. If you have a passion for something, keep yourself together, because you may find an immense amount of enjoyment in it, enjoyment that may help encourage you. Don't black-pill, try to dig out of the rabbit-hole of despair, climb up the ladder, swim up to the surface. You don't have to be scared all the time, or sad. Don't continue living depressed, you don't want to waste time that you could be spending on the things you love. Don't be distracted by the easy way, go through life the regular way. Talk to a therapist, talk to yourself even. Talking to yourself is the most powerful tool, and you'll come to realize that thinking out loud may help. Grow into a better you. -- Random Internet Stranger P.S: Please don't use the comments to vent unless you absolutely have to. This comment is meant to be encouraging, meant to help people rise above, not continue to be drowning in despair.

we were never meant to belong. we were born here to be our unique self. we were all born here to add something new to the world.

As someone who dabbled in philosophy, to seek knowledge and truth, I ended up realizing that we do indeed not belong here. After many doctrines and studies, I came to the conclusion that seeking truth out of your own volition will always turn you back to nihilism... We are sojourners in this world and we will only be here a small amount of time, then we shall return home. If no one here knows of this home, then nowhere we seek the truth among our fellow humans will we find it. Some turn to spirituality, some to enlightenment or eudaimonia... I turned to God... To my father Yahweh. I follow in his ways and now I feel a bit more at home, but I know the day will come when I will have completed my journey and will have arrived home...

This feels like i can be vulnerable here and open my heart out. Ive been seeing deaths very closely since i was a kid, lost my paternal grandma when i was around 10, i was soo close to her, then almost a month later i lost my uncle too. I was merely a child i had no idea about life and death and what happens after it. All i could see was my grandma not moving, not giving me kisses and she was just gone, I could touch her cold pale body. Even today I remember very clearly how awful that feeling was. After a few years, i was around 16, clearly remember the moment how dad told me n my elder brother, our another uncle was hospitalised and he said this doesn’t feel good. And unfortunately we lost him too, though we were not close but he loved me and I remember us all playing as a kid. I could see my father devastated, yet another one of his family members lost, never saw him so fragile and shattered. But we became his strength. 2015, my dad had to undergo cardiac surgery, it was my elder brother who gave us all the confidence to go through it all. All went well thankfully :) In 2017, I was 20, I were in dental school, stayed at dorm, Feb 26, i got a call from my cousin early in the morning, told me my brother had met with an accident last night, hospitalised since then, i rushed somehow to go to his place, felt so sick suddenly had to puke before catching the bus, i used to believe in God back then, prayed throughout the whole journey, reached hospital after about an hour, around 9AM, i saw mum dad, and relatives, neighbors everyone at the hospital gate, trying to leave or something. I had no idea what was happening, i asked my cousin to tell me which way is he being treated, she told me he’s no more? I didn’t believe her, I asked everyone around, they all told me he’s in morgue, i was just lost, sat in disbelief about what exactly has happened, i immediately said i wanna see dad, he was sitting in a car, helpless, hugged him. the exact conversation, the exact situation, time, moments still haunt me at nights. Comes in front of my eyes out of nowhere and i try to distract myself. My support system, my brother, was gone. I was all alone now, to face this shitty life. It was miserable to see mumdad losing their son. Horrible thing for a parent to see. I resumed my graduation, got busy, and completed in 2021 October. Its been almost two years now since I completed it, i do nothing, im back at home to mom dad, and everyday i try to change my life and crawl back to bed next moment, staring into nothingness at nights, thinking how different it would have been if i had my brother here. Its been two years of self doubt, self hate and guilt of not being good enough. My friends are doing better than me, and it leaves me with a feeling of failure. It gets deeper and darker every day. I dont know how to get out of this. Everyone judges me, my relatives see me as failure who wont do anything, my friends. My mum has been my biggest supporter and i think im only alive because of her. I gotta live for her and dad. Sorry if this has been too much. Just wanted to let it out, since I’ve never been able to talk to anyone. I hope few years from now, it gets better.

if you are reading this I want to remind you how important you are, please, things may seem dark, but remember you are not alone, everything will be fine, soon, believe it and everything will be fine, give yourself some time and don't let your negative thoughts get to you, you are stronger than you think!

There's a Brazilian book, named "The death and the death of Quincas". He dies twice on the story: The first death its his social life, and the second one its his real death. This song playlist makes me remember that story, that also makes me remember how many times, a part inside me died and how i lost myself on the process. Im recoverying from the strongest emotional trauma i've ever had on my life, and this playlist makes me feel like that the dead parts inside me, are reviving piece by piece, creating a newer and stronger version of myself. Thank you for uploading this, it means alot to me ;)

the world has become so cruel, so indifferent towards everything. they value opinions but only of their own, constantly at war for dominance, a race for money and money alone. Living in this cold warzone of a world, I wondered where are those people who are kind....who still care. But now that I have stumbled upon this video and many more, I believe I have found u lot, scared, injured, in hiding behind calm Spotify playlists or gentle wordless music. The warzone has destroyed us all, it's not where we belong.

I have never written anything online like this before. I have been battling with Bipolar disorder for five years now. Recently got diagnosed with anxiety as well. Even though i am better everyday now, thanks to therapy, medication and from the love of friends and family, i sometimes keep getting this numb feeling of emptyness and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. I feel like with my mental illness i made my real self isolated. I feel anxious with every friendship i make and i feel like i'm a huge weight to everyone because i tend to cry too much . These kinds of music helped me express my feelings alone in my room everynight for years, which felt as if someone was there to listen to me when i felt that i had no one. I hope that everyone can find a place of peace and even though it's still hard for me to accept, crying and expressing yourself is okay and it's also part of who you are.

this music perfectly describes my life. My parents are always busy, I don’t want to disturb them and share my problems. I hate talking to people and talking to thin air. He will not say “everything will pass, this is such a stage,” he will listen silently and reward you with silence. I'm not an outcast in the class, but I have no friends either. I'm just emptiness. I was often forgotten or not noticed, but I got used to it. My best friends are music, books and the silence of the night. I have enough, but sometimes I wish there was a person nearby...

this is beautiful. it inspired me to write a poem. thank you and God bless you❤ I will save this playlist forever

People are born to be a stranger in this world, so don't try to belong somewhere.

Even in the most darkest, terrifying and horrible moments don't lose hope my friend. Light somehow finds a way when there isn't any sign of brightness.

This is the first time a painting has made me speechless. It could most likely be because of the music accompanied by it as well. As I stare at the image used in this video I literally cannot describe exactly how I feel with that painting. It's horrifying to look at, I feel scared, but at the same time, I feel like he understands me, and I understand him. I also feel pity, maybe even guilty, having to stare at him the entire time. But the more I stare at him, the more I felt guilty at myself. I don't know why such a simple painting has made me feel like this. That is why I say the painting scares me as well. Because This painting I found out of nowhere on a video streaming website scarily matches my inner thoughts well, when nothing else ever has before.

When you leave --------- when you leave don’t say goodbye, don’t look back, don’t cry. Leave me believing I’ll see you again. I won’t know that I lost you until your memory starts to slip, Slip behind the business of life. Soon you’ll be just another face in the crowd, A face that reminds me of a memory, A memory that I’ll fight to get back, Only then will I realize that I had lost you, only then will I start to cry.

I go to these videos solely because I want to cry, but it never happens. I just sit here staring at a static image for like 10 minutes and act as if nothing happened.

Imagine a world with only those who listen to this playlist ❤

I've been dealing with difficult emotions for a while, and it's been painful. I found this playlist today and it's really helping to make me feel better, helping me process things a bit better. The artwork is beautiful too, I want to try to find the creator of it as well. Thank you for this beautiful playlist

i just KNEW this would be a perfect playlist just by seeing its cover and name. thank you for this. this is life saving and i am serious.

_"I am fine,"_ he said, leaning out of the window while watching the deserted streets of Granite City soaked by the icy-cold morning rains.

The only lesson I've learned about depression is sometimes you can't make your life better, just a day. And sometimes not a day, but a moment of the day. And that's worth holding out for

I close my eyes. I close my eyes as i float. I feel a degree of freedom. My legs and arms are entirely free, untouching with anything. My breath is steady. In, then out. I feel the warm air backtrack onto me after hitting the glass. I keep my eyes closed. Peace. That is all I feel in this moment. My mind going through everything that had happened. Glossing over the good and lingering over the bad. Though i shake the thoughts away I know there is no escaping them for they are me. My body feels empty as i float. My mind starting to empty too. I open my eyes but keep them closed. I imagine what i will do after I open my eyes, somewhat hoping it would help, once i detach from this freedom. Let go of this peace. It has been so long since its just been me yet I do not find great comfort in my solitude. I finally open my eyes. Marbles of white, brown and black that i had covered with a blanket of my skin. I gaze upon the glass, slightly reflecting my face. I look beyond it. i see the scorched world I called home. Red, orange and yellow had never filled my heart with such great sorrow. I know i remain, I know my punishment is to outlive to watch everyone else perish. I never hoped this would be the way things ended. Once in a lifetime I would think of where next I will float. But now, I'd rather stay and take it all in. My punishment of silence. Yet whenever i wish to escape; I close my eyes.

You definitely don't belong here. You see this fact in their eyes ,their faces, how they talk to you , and how they act when you are around .Everything screams , "You aren't welcomed here ." From the little details to the bigger picture, you know it deep inside your soul that you are doomed to be alone even around hundreds or thousands of people, no one could understand you , no one even try to do so.

I'm breathing but I don't feel alive.

Im surprised on how many times i go back to this playlist . I feel like this is my home for now as i can say . It all started last christmas when everything just went even worst than before , that heavy pressure you feel from your chest and wanting to cry and let it all out , i went to the living room for some alone time at around 12 am and just sat there for god knows how long . drowning in my thoughts and It got me thinking “am i really doing okay?” . i was at a miserable state . eyes swollen , i was shaking and i can barely breathe . I thought i had enough and even contemplating whether i should end it or not . I was just too exhausted . I thought i was doing fine? I thought i was thriving ,like what could go wrong , even if it would , its not gonna stay that way forever right? Wrong . everthing turned out the opposite . Its like i continuously go through the same thing . A cycle full of sorrow as i can say . And so i took my phone and type abt how i’ve been feeling lately on my notes and decided to open youtube and search for some music that maybe could calm myself down a bit . And exactly at that moment the first thing that appeared in my recommendation is this playlist . And honestly im glad that i found this playlist . It accompanied me through all my tough times and the times where i felt worthless and exhausted. Knowing that life can’t always be all sunshine and rainbows . ill hold on a little longer as long as this playlist is still here , i know im going to be just fine . Im currently having a hard time right now . And listening to this on repeat makes me feel more at ease . Just wanna say that If i ever lose my battle , i just hope that someone will play this playlist at my funeral update : i came back again after a year of not hearing this masterpiece. im doing absolutely fine now and all i want to say to anyone who’s reading this is , it’s okay . all those hardships all those problems you’re facing right now shall pass . hang in there and be strong . you’re gonna be just fine . trust me

This reminds me tragically of myself. I've been at the lowest point of my life for almost an eternity now. One day when I wasn't paying attention, due to my tendency to day dream, I took a wrong a step and slipped and spiraled down this hole of undiagnosed depression (god I hate that word. It does no justice to describe the century deep aching in my bones. All it does is provoke pity) , that was two years ago. There are really bad days and really good days, but regardless it just constantly feels like I'm being pushed to the floor and someone is stepping on my chest. It's not enough to stop my heart, but enough to make it uncomfortable. It's enough to make my heartbeat erratic and uneven. I myself know that my heart doesn't beat right and that my head sometimes thinks too much or too little, I know that there's something wrong, I knew before I even slipped. I guess I was trying avoid or at least delay the inevitable, something that was already written in my fate. And you know trying to change destiny isn't really ideal. I tried to squeeze it in between my math and psych lectures, but ultimately, it didn't work out. So I dealt with it. I thought that the faster I let it in, the faster it'll be over. I welcomed it into my home, let it into the crevices of my mind, body and soul. I fed it and fed it and fed it, hoping that one day it would be enough. But you know, feed a wild animal and they always come back, eternal return they call it. The universe has and will continue to revive itself and reoccur an infinite number of times. By the time I had built up my courage to recognize what I had to done, to recognize exactly what I had let into my home, I had already felt like I was floating. I couldn't remember anything from days ago let alone my childhood. I couldn't feel my feet on the ground or the cool winter breeze on my face. I felt unattached to everything, like a separate entity, outside looking in, as if I didn't belong inside humanity. I felt like I didn't belong in this world. Because how come the world still revolved and people still laughed and found hope, when I couldn't even move my feet. It felt like a cruel joke. I was being shown everything I wanted but I couldn't reach it... and that leads me to the life I am living now. The best way I can put it... Imagine yourself playing minecraft. You're going mining but you manage to go far too deep and you hit bedrock. Now you gotta find a way out. You look up and all you see is cobblestone, ores, torches and maybe some water and lava, but no opening to the outside world. You know the surface is up there somewhere, all you gotta do is make your way up, but that takes time and you've already been playing for hours. So you decide to log off and tackle it the next day and the next and the next (we all know how this age old story ends; you stop playing). I guess that's what I did. I played, recognized the consequences, then stopped. But, the game doesn't move if you keep it on pause nor does life. You'll be in the same spot you were two years ago if you don't move. But, that doesn't mean pausing is a bad thing. Personally, I kinda like it here, it's quiet. And I think I'm gonna stay here for a little while before I learn to fight again.

This New Year's Eve was worse than most others, due to me having a panic attack. This playlist makes me feel understood, and I wanted to thank you for that.

Listening to this playlist and reading these comments feels surreal. I relate to the feelings told in the music and by the people in the comment section so much, but now on the other side. I really understand what you all are going through, it took me years to get out. The obsessive thinking about how terrible of a person you are and how you deserve to die. The self-harm, the hiding in your room for weeks, the not showering for days, I know it all. I couldn't stop hurting myself. It was like an itch I had to scratch, a decade-long itch. Getting out is different for everyone, so I can't give a perfect solution, but I can tell you what I did. First, it's very slow. Excruciatingly slow. It took me a year and a half of dedicated work on myself to get here, and even then I still needed to get on medication for a time. My primary advice is to do what everyone else says: take advantage of school/university counselors if you can and if it's safe for you to do so. A good second choice is to read as much as you can about your problem and commit to making small changes in your lifestyle. If you don't have the energy to cook, buy some ramen and some kale, spinach, or chard and mix that in. If you are too scared to go outside, do some light stretches and maybe walk around a bit inside your room. Try journaling and try writing one good thing about yourself that you did that day when you go to bed and read it the next morning. Maybe you showered. Maybe you ate something. Maybe you read this comment. Practice being able to have a negative thought and let it pass. Don't fight them, don't humor them, acknowledge the thought and let it pass. It doesn't have to have any power over you, it can just be a thought, who says thoughts must always be true? Read some philosophy. Intimately understand that all of us deserve love, just for being human. For example, does the lion deserve to kill to eat when it needs to survive? Does a baby deserve affection and care when without it it will die? You deserve love and to be loved by yourself because to need it. There is no other requirement. Mental illness makes you feel so defeated that oftentimes your first thought is that these types of fixes would never work. You're right. These types of changes won't change your life in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year. But it will in a year and a half, two years, or three. And that MATTERS. SO. MUCH. Life will never be perfect, but it can be better. It can get better if you want it. And you do want it. I know you do. We all do. The only thing that is stopping you is fear. Change is unfamiliar and scary, and what if you do these things and it does nothing? What if you wake up one day after learning to love and understand yourself and you realize that you actually really didn't deserve it? That you were right all along? I can tell you with 100% certainty that all these fears are unbased. You deserve love and acceptance and you always have and you always will. No one can take that away from you, not even yourself. Change is scary until you realize it's not. As long as you keep going forwards, it will be okay, you will be okay, and one day you will realize that. Understand that some days will still be really hard. Sometimes, despite your efforts, you will go back to the familiarity of your old ways. You will hate yourself, you will not shower, you will hide away in your room for weeks, and it will feel so good. You finally scratched the itch. Then you will wake up the next morning, the next week, or the next month, and feel so disappointed in yourself. Try not to let that disappointment hurt you more. Sure, you scratched the itch and worsened the wound, but that doesn't mean you have stopped healing or your progress. Setbacks are unavoidable in change, they will happen, so don't feel so bad about them. Acknowledge that it happened and move on. Who said having setbacks has to mean failure? That they have to mean you should give up? Don't ever give up on yourself babe. You don't deserve that. Sometimes you won't be able to change by yourself, I wasn't able to. Sometimes you will need medication. I got to a point where I knew the fixes to my problems. I knew that, as a person, I deserved love, that I was worthy of living, and that there were good things about me. But I still could never FEEL those thoughts. It was painful to think them even after all my progress and I couldn't control my own negative thinking. It was obsessive and compulsive. Every time I would feel mildly bad, maybe I and a headache, maybe my skin was bad, maybe I was just tired, my mind would immediately go back to those bad thoughts. I had trained my brain to react to any bad feeling with self-hatred. At least then I had control, right? The ironic thing is that I had absolutely no control. Over my thoughts, my feelings, and my health. I was spiraling and I knew it, but I was terrified that change would be the same but also unfamiliar. You know what they say about the devil you already know? Going on medication allowed me to have a sort of "brain reset" of sorts. I am able to have control over my own thoughts for the first time in years and I used that newfound control to solidify my change, which would not have been possible without the mental work I had done beforehand. In most cases, medication should be used as a tool, not a solution. I am now off medication and I feel amazing. It is an incredible feeling to be able to love and support yourself; to not see yourself as an enemy and react with fear, but to see yourself as your own protector and feel loved. I'll leave you with one last thing: you aren't special. You are not so uniquely horrible in that you are one of the few who actually deserve to die; there have been others before you who have thought the exact same things about themselves as you do, and they were not any more right in their thinking. And the reason why this is so painful to hear is that your mental illness only survives off this thought being true: that you are uniquely horrible, undeserving, or alone. Don't always listen to what your mind tells you. The brain craves security and safety over everything else, even at the expense of positive change. In that sense, all your mental illness cares about is survival, homeostasis. It's not comforting, it's not safe, it doesn't love you and you don't love it. It's not a part of who you are, but simply a habit of thinking that has gone on far too long. So don't be afraid to change, you will be better for it. I believe, without a doubt, that you can do this, that you can change.

I used to have a partner. He gave me all to become the person i am today. I lost him as the first victim from covid in my country. I couldn´t be there because i was working at sea. This song reminds me every morning with him. we used to wake up early to maek breakfast together, seeing him sitting close to the window with this kind of music ON is the most peaceful and beautiful i would have ever experienced. Sometimes we dont realize how lucky we are until is too late. Years have passed and i still having this feeling of, missing something. For me he was something out of this world, having someone to listen to you ...to be there for you has no price. But instead getting completely sad i like to think sometimes that MAYBE I will become on that person for someone else. Patience is always something hard to cultivate but as he used to said. Everything that truly worth requires time.

Please never delete this, this is a masterpiece and every song fits so well together, wow!! I subbed!

Dear 11 yr old me, Your are disappointed I don’t know where ill end up But as long as I keep my eyes shut My wrists will remain uncut And I will continue to have luck Not for long until I remember the past Drowning in my thoughts that forever last Until I break free From an eternity Of pain and shame that lead me down a road that I cannot tame Without the medicine Without this pain I have learned that there will be no gain Hard work makes more enemies than friends So I continue to look through the lens Viewing my future and walking down the lane Alone With no-one left to blame But my own brain And the people who made me insane And so I forgive the little girl Who didn’t know how to live In a house made up of flames With a hundred of different names Left her looking in mirrors to only see tears In her hand she held the shears Waiting for the right moment to finally fly But she only now realized the only way to do it is to die And so she cried.

Listen to this while I write in the middle of the night, and after emptying my mind on paper, I hide my notebook and go to sleep... 🌔🌠💜

This playlist...is absolutely stunning. Most of the time I don't feel I belong here...in this country, in this world. In this time-line. This playlist captures my longing and pain. Thank you for this beautiful playlist

I wish I had someone to share this piece with amazing work

Interstellar intro is just legend

I just sat here admiring that art, no joke.

Its hurtful knowing that our best moments, can end in just moments, Hurtful knowing that someone can just disappear and forget about everything, Its hurtful knowing how lonely can one feel when those moments just flew away, Hurtful knowing one can change the way they are because of someone, its crazy how someone can just go away and treat us like we were nothing.

It's amazing how you can tell if the music is a sad kind or happy, peaceful or even rage. It's almost like music has its own feelings

These tunes many times refer to the emptiness and Loneliness we live it. No matter how much we try but it eats us from within and highlight the deep cracks and morbid silence we have.

I have forgotten who I really am and this music feels like I could be able to finish my very own chapter of loneliness after having lost what was dear to me and becoming the thing I so very much hate. Thank you for posting this playlist as it has given me comfort but also sadness in my times of struggle

Listening to this in my birthday, I'm 17 now... I feel very out of place in my family and listening to this I can resonate with the melodies, I appreciate this playlist thank you.

It might be unseen but the kindness and the pure souls will meet one day, it might take a while but everything will come to an end. A sweet, gentle one we just have to be patient. I know that most of us feels like it's too much to handle but trust me we're doing great. I wanted to thank and hug everyone that feels low cause really we all deserve care, love, kindness, happiness. I just wanted to share these words thinking that it might help and I really apologize if my expressions aren't well expressed. I wish you all a wonderful day/night, keep cherishing the memories.

i want to get back to that night when everything used to fade and it feels like drowning in endless blue

*The haunting melodies of sad, sentimental music have a way of piercing through the heart, weaving a tapestry of emotions that resonate with the complexities of the human experience*

I've been living in Europe for 4 years as a foreign student, and this music, the art, and the title resonate with me. I come from a north African country so the cultural and social differences are pretty wide, and I'm having trouble integrating myself. "I don't belong here" is a feeling I definitely had many times. However, the music seems to perfectly describe how I felt throughout these years. Life is the warm colors of long days in the summer, walks in the countryside along the corn fields, a sun-kissed lover under the oak tree, a caressing breeze, people with glittering eyes and peaceful faces, a gentle hug, a loveless winter, long-lasting grey nights, an empty room, clouded thoughts, desperation for light lightning and snow, people hiding in their coats, a cold shrug. Edit: Sorry for any English mistakes

THIS IS SO DEPRESSING AND COMFORTING, I LOVE IT.

If you sit and wonder about your existence long enough, it doesn’t feel like you are truly alive, right? In the end, we are all just a lump of flesh and bones with a conscience. How do we know that we are the only intelligent forms of life in the universe? What IS the universe? How did we truly get here if no one was around to see it all happen? To think of the endless galaxies upon galaxies in this universe feels so suffocating yet beautiful at the same time. I don’t know whether I should be grateful for my existence or guilty for taking up more room on this dying planet we call Earth. How do I find a way to stop all of these terrifyingly radiant perceptions of our world? Please, someone must feel the same way I do, right. Right?

I feel like by the time tears are going to fall from my eyes, It's gonna be too late.

I used to be one of those people who thought there was a bright side to everything, or the grass was always greener ahead, or that everyone belonged somewhere. But now, I wonder how everyone can belong when no one even knows the true meaning of belonging. Think about all the times you thought you belonged. If there are any, did you really belong? Or was it just what you though was best for you. Trust me when I say that there is a difference between the two. It is rare that we truly belong. Sometimes I feel it’s even harder to belong to yourself.

I love how the selection of songs tells a story. It begins with something hopeful, then becomes heartbroken and cold, then empty and not at all musical.

I wrote a haiku whilst listening to this: Life is the canvas, I am but a broken brush, Ink of tears and blood.

While being in pain,i crave God's word,His presence,i remind myself that He loves me(everyone of us) so much,that human's brain can't process that kind of love......Never let yourself feel lonely,run to God and pray.AMEN!

snowfall is becoming a classic in compilations like this and this is so well deserved. great collection of songs!

when you realised that without darkness , you can find the light easy but your journey feels like nothing

I come here every day... Every day 😮‍💨

To be honest, what is life. We just living for future or for somebody else due to family problems. I can't live like this anymore. I don't know how long i can live like this!

I live in an empty house. In one corner of a cold place. It used to be home. Now its just four walls filled with painful memories. Memories which fade each day. I don't belong here. But I can't leave.

This is how i felt all my life and finally i start to trust to Jesus and give that 'not my life feeling'. Now i m feel i don't belong here even more but i get it that is okay and i m happy now. Thanks for the playlist. It s good for heairing and thinking. Sorry for mistakes

I want to leave my story here. At 6 years old I knew something was wrong. First day of school, the door swings open, and I’m absolutely terrified. Everyone turns and looks all at once. I freaked out every day for a week every time that door opened. I’m 30 now. I feel no different. Something is still wrong. It’s been a nightmare living amongst humanity. Been in therapy for months. This was never supposed to be. I’m holding on, but suicide may still happen some day. I’m just holding on for my parents. There’s a goodbye letter in my desk, just waiting for it’s day.

This photo with this title and this music is so good put together. Its like the life of this man has come to its end, with him having withstand any thing you can imagine, have sinned in many ways, have regretted everything, and the only thing he's doing, is asking God to forgive him.. The painting is like he is talking face to face with Him

These songs evoke a strong sense of nostalgia I have with my depression. It is crazy how your mind is. I love these songs cause they provided me comfort, comfort of a weird sort but I can't bear the emotions they fill me with anymore.

I don't usually listen to music on RU-vid, but I stumbled upon this while making pancakes. At some point, I just froze, so peaceful It became so calm and mentally and physically Haha, I'm writing with a translator, so sorry for any mistakes :>

Songs are pure peace of mind, somehow even nostalgia hits me as if i am living my past life. Art is on point too.

Nothing stays forever, not even your problems. So keep living and don't give up.

at some point I just started walking on the edge between reality and fantasy; letting myself dwell upon the life I wish I could live, to be an artist that carries her craft ...but I'm constrained by normality and whatever responsibilities that are embedded in it. At this point, whatever is on the other side became a childish desire-- as i enter adulthood

This is..... This is a masterpiece I mean the author put all of his emotions in this like I can feel it.....

Each one of these is amazing, thank you!

i love songs that gives that "universal/endless" feeling. its like songs that you listen to as you venture through the endless space of planets, galaxies and stars. or simply, a song that you would listen to when you are alone while its raining outside. a great playlist 👍

To all the broken people here, i understand your pain and sadness. You no longer feel joy, you just don't have the good moments in your life anymore. But trust me when I tell you everything will get better and you will look back on this time here and say well I didn't give up, well I always stayed strong and just accepted and lived the world like that. So don't give up and stay strong

the painting is so beautiful