I Don't Know What I Want - Kyle Cease 

I resonate with this...I'm at a place where wanting a relationship, money, a house, car is not my biggest thing... I want to just know that what I'm doing is my purpose.

6:50 - I’ve had this same lesson from life: if I’m triggered, I do nothing. That’s a great practical application of wu wei. I learned that the result of any action cannot have a vibe different from the cause of that very action. As an artist, maybe I had this lesson from Art itself, as when things go wrong in our craft, stopping the work is the best alternative. We can take action out of a trigger, but the result will be a sequence of triggers until we stop and get back to the indifferent and peaceful self. It works not only in the case of being triggered, but also when we’re needy, sad, or sometimes even when we’re hungry and cannot go eat for some reason. We can choose doing nothing, enjoying the hunger and then eventually we’ll see the magic of a pizza coming out of the blue. This is a habit - or a practice - that certainly increases our trust in the flow of life.

Boy do I really like this. It used to bother me that I could not come up with anything that I want. I can finally put that to rest and be fine with not knowing what I want.

I do not know what i want. I'm 35 and feel tired of the life of motivation..i always remember when I was happiest in childhood or older years were those moments where i just wad here doing nothing. I just want to FEEL now in every moment even if i HAVE to get a job my ego doesn't like and is low vibe.. while i just want to be in forest and grow my own food ..but i can't see possiblity for that now. I want to be ok feel at peace whatever is going on with me. And I'm feeling so depressed that i do not feel joy..my heart feels closed.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Every action is measured by the sentiment from which it precedes” - with that in mind, it’s no wonder the actions we take in our triggered state lead us nowhere.

This stirred up a lot for me. Having experienced childhood abuse, and an abusive relationship later in life, I lived most of my life learning to have no needs or wants, life revolved around someone else's wants. It wasn't until the past couple of years that I've really been able to notice just how deep that has gone, debilitating indecision (I couldn't even pick pizza toppings for a shared pizza), and how I eventually learned to use this to frame myself as being laid back/easy-going, not needing/wanting anything, but it was really just a continuation of what I had experienced with abusers, survival programming. I learned to accept this at the extremes, giving up even basic needs. So in that sense, I think it has been important for me to learn what I want/need, because it has been the process of reconnecting to myself, valuing myself, listening to my body, allowing myself to have a thought/a voice, learning what I might like or not like. The things I find I want are often simply needs - like rest - rather than THINGS. And much of it is what I have had to learn to give myself - like safety, calmness, healing, freedom, love. Beyond that...yes, I have often felt how you describe, realizing I have no idea what is possible so in terms of what do I want in life, what do I want in my career, etc, there is so much in my life I didn't realize was ever an option and I'm glad I had some degree of openness to explore the unknown to find/create beyond what I once knew possible. I'm now in so deep into this unknown path that it seems impossible to answer what I would want with my future in any concrete way, where I am going and who I will be doesn't exist yet. So pending the situation, I just have to be sure I check in to ensure I'm not in the survival programming pretending to be open and going with the flow when I actually need to tune in and make a decision/have a voice, vs the times where it is genuine openness and not feeling the pressure to define/limit what is possible thinking my limited brain knows best. I love the concept of even when we feel out of alignment, to consider that we are still in alignment - felt a weight lift in that moment, a confirmation nothing is actually WRONG and I haven't failed anything, and reminded me of how those moments always have wisdom within. Thank you!

Perhaps the best answer would be; I want what the divine wants for me. 🙏

💕 I just want to be peaceful and in harmony with source energy. Like I'm good enough exactly how I am here and now. I always feel like I'm just short of good enough. Like there is more I have to work on about myself in order to feel GOD'S GRACE AND FAVOR. i'm tired. It's wearing me out. I'm just going to stop listening to all the teaching videos. Listen to my own inner guide for awhile. To this point I'm all confused. So... Ty for all you've said that has guided me so far. I love you Kyle. ♥

Oh man, Life does it again! I was just given Living Untethered, the latest by Michael Singer. And for those that have read it, well- it’s what you’re pointing too here. Let go, of it all- preferences, likes, dislikes, “what I want”- and just let Life move through you. Ah, so freeing to the heart! It feels I’m finally tired enough of suffering to see that mind has no answers. No lasting happiness. So just get out of there! (I say to myself ☺️) Stop thinking! This is so beautiful, Kyle. Thank you, again, for listening long enough to hear this depth of Presence.

I knew from the title this was going to be the one issue I still struggle with despite making huge leaps spiritually. I'm in the same place. If someone says "what would you do if you could do anything?" or similar...I genuinely don't really know. I can come up with scenarios and things I would like, but then if I'm honest with myself I know most of those things come from ego, an illusion (like a certain amount of money will give me ultimate freedom for example) or trying to fill a void of various types. I even have the exact same issue of I've done a lot of things or felt forced to do a lot of things I DON'T want and I know all the things I don't want in my life. I feel I'm more constantly running from those again now than lined up with where I want to be (or more how I want to feel.) Even the whole urge to want to do something similar to this or another version of helping people I think is mostly still me thinking it will bring me self acceptance and purpose deep down. That's not to say I don't want to do it otherwise but I feel like those are the root wounds I'm still subconsciously trying to nail. I think I'll have to watch this one again, maybe even a few times as I can feel it but I know I need to really take it in and process it fully emotionally.

Yes, this message is resonating with me. I feel like I just want to be. My higher self is saying “have fun”

Thank you, Kyle for this. Timing is impeccable for I have reached a stage in my healing, that I don't need to seek healing anymore, and so much of my identity had become wrapped around that. I am at such peace and joy in the now moment, I don't know what I want, and it has been a bit confusing, as I'm not used to that. I'm used to seeking, seeking, seeking, and now I am here. I'm having to acclimate to this new stage of which I'm grateful! Your message here is very affirming. Thank you. I also, love what you said, don't respond to life triggered. Magical! Thank you! 😺

My phone glitched halfway through this video so I had to go to my history and click it again to keep watching... an ad popped up first, and the first thing it said was "what do you want?" 🤣 this energy is EVERYWHERE and my heart is GIDDY to know I've been on the right path to realizing that I am always ok where I am. Others, my family especially, will complain about where I am as if it affects them. It doesn't make my journey easier to perceive that I am letting them down in some way, and yet I still persist in feeling good where I am. Some days may feel like 2 steps forward and one step back but I can't let myself focus on the one step back. Because every day, "good" or "bad" is a gain in my books! Plus, I'm an artist, so I'm literally learning to restructure to my own personal truth that my perceived "negative" feelings are merely the growing pains which inspires me to create more art. Not even for the beauty of it, for art to me is the connective tissue through which we can understand each other as one and the same, no matter our differences

Thank you so much Kyle...so many points hit home. I especially love the 'heal the trigger' stop trying to 'do better' from the trigger. No wonder I've been going in circles and thinking something is wrong with me because I keep 'failing'. Whew. What a heavy weight lifted off of me right now. Thank you ☺️💐 🎶💞

“ I want to feel like what I’m doing is ok and that I’m ok with myself..” wow! That is so accurate. I couldn’t put it into words before but yes, that’s what I was wanting for a long time. I’m finding it now. That’s why I couldn’t figure out what I wanted and why I was unhappy. I’m getting more comfortable being me in the now.

Yes yes yes!!! Thank you for clarifying that. If we are living in the present, then that question makes one revert back in the mind to lack in what is right now.

I'm doing a fasting thing similar to you. People that have known me my whole life are commenting on how good I look, clear skin, bright eyes. You got that same thing going on. Love me some autophagy !!

This information is such a blessing. It provides Truth to feelings I had no idea how to explain to others or to myself. “What do I want” from a business endeavor I’m going into to help others heal, other than healing for as many as possible, I had no idea. When ‘pushed’ to come up with something, I defaulted to “to replace my current income”. Even that was a contraction because my true desire is to live in a world where income isn’t required for safety and security. Thank you for offering me understanding of these deep and meaningful feelings that before this video I could not explain. Indeed, what a blessing to be free from trying to conjure wants that I do not have because they are contractions to my Truth.

Brilliant…A super accessible clear concise explanation of a subtle dynamic we all experience but can’t contextualize.

My “wanting” was for a memory prior to the abuse that happened when I was three years old. For the years of longing of memories of what happened and why… What I have received, through this breaking through of the stories that I believed were me, I have found an innocent heart. ♥️ I have never received a memory. There are years of life that I don’t remember. But I’m more than grateful for this second childhood!✨🧚‍♀️

Thank you for this view. I was the same wanting to know what I wanted but nothing would come. Then shaming myself for not knowing- that I must be doing something wrong because I don’t know what I want. How will I get what I want if “I” don’t even know. When , yes my higher self knows! Doesn’t everyone know what they want? Yet me still just not wanting. I never thought that it was ok to not know and that was ego wanting. Yes I want what is for the highest and best but there is not definition of what that is or looks like. Thank you for helping me see that not wanting IS ok - I’m ok in this state of being🙏

I just realised I have/am happiness. I just need to release myself from the unhappiness that is preventingit from showing up! Wow light bulb 💡 moment

Wow the timing of this couldn't have been more timely. My mind gets stuck in a loop "what do I want", "I don't know". Yes I would love to have loving relationships both friends and romantically, to know I have value to offer but I'm also aware they're not my happiness. What I really want is to love myself and I don't know what that looks like either 😭 Thank you Kyle. This is what I needed to hear though 🙏

The famous guy who asked Kyle what he wants, sounds like what Tony Robbins would ask.

Piyannah from Denmark We are not supposed to know. Life is living life and we are life. We don’t have to do anything but follow the inputs that arize. Bless you Kyle, february last year you inspired me to sit for two hours and………..blessings happened🙏🙌🏼

Yes!!! This resonates with me even though my mind doesn’t fully grasp it! What I want is to love what is. 💕

Oh my goodness. I always felt this was true but was told I’m not dreaming big enough if I don’t know what I want. Thank you so much.

This work is transforming my entire life - I can't wait to see you and the team today! Thank you to you and the AEP team for creating this space and this community! 👏🏼💪🏼💖🥳🥰

The universe knows what we need for our expansion, simple and profound !!

A person's age, karma and level of consciousness is a huge factor in this discussion. Great talk❤

Always getting straight to the heart of everything!

Love this - if I am triggered I do nothing!! I have been slowly integrating this over the last 6 mths or so, and it offers an interesting space of reflection. Because, if I am triggered it is something that I need to address regardless of the delivery method from the other person (words, actions). It really helps remove the "why did they do this/that etc..". and offers me the place to sit and not react but to breathe and let the feelings show up, do their happy dance & then pass through. After everything settles down - I can make a different decision/respond a different way for myself and for them. It is actually such beautiful awareness and so freeing💜...

So true! Surrender to blend with present reality, and align with what your soul needs now.

Do nothing from a trigger. Don’t get discouraged as this will take time but being aware is the first step.

Omg…thank you thank you thank you. I’ve felt like this forever and have taken so much ridicule and been shamed so much for it. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! I AM WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO.

It’s been a while since I’ve watched any of your content; not for any particular reason. I just wanted to state how helpful this video was to me today; so glad i decided to stay for the whole thing. You are amazing

Mmm, this felt deliciously good. While listening, I remembered that before awakening to self awareness, before doing allllll the "shadow work" & learning spiritual labels/techniques etc ~ I thought like this. I felt the truth of this, and I trusted, through one of the most turbulent & violent times in my life. Now, as I meet another interesting shift, which wanted to draw panic from me, I'm remembering how to trust again & pull myself out of heavy emotions when they still try to show up, briefly. This helped immensely. Thank you Kyle 🙏🏼

There's a famous quote. “There's two ways to be depressed: to not get what you want or to get what you want.”

Kyle, thanks so much for your thoughts about my question. It helped me so much. The idea that trying to answer the question of what I what is contracting and takes me away from me and being here now was spot on. And wanting what I don't want... that's really great. Thank you and so much love. Brigg

I was on the AEP and heard this the first time and loved it. Listening again I got even more. Thank you, Kyle!

Great reminders, thank you.

Looooooooooooooooooooooove this!! thank you! always so relaxing to watch your videos.

Wow, thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear right now.

Thank you Kyle🙏🏻✨ Your warm, genuine energy is very comforting 😇

Thank you for this video Kyle. There's so much I've been doing lately that a deeper part of me kind of knew was still 'trying to get into alignment'. This video has given me permission to not 'know', AND to know that's OK. 🙏

That was an amazing call. Such wisdom. Thank you Kyle❤️

I resonate with this so much. I’ve always had problems answering that question. I’m content without the things most people want.

Another important message! Thanks Kyle!

This video is so healing for me. Thank you, Kyle!

Incredible video Kyle. Perfect timing. Everything we need is within

Thank you so much for clarifying this.. much needed to hear this. 🤗🌻🕊 I’m trying to stay grounded & keep busy! Great things are ahead.

Just at the right time! Thank you so much, Kyle! Much love.

Such a beautiful message. Thank you Kyle.

I've done the bouncing from place to place to try to solve the safety issue. You verbalize that really well. Love this one

Yes ! This is me for sure !!! Thank you ❤️

Kyle, it's so in point 💕🙏! Alignment have nothing with "outer" things, actions etc.. We are always IN. Just small ego-self alarms that something is wrong. It is so simple.. if we see it.. and seems so troubling when we don't recognize.

Obviously I’m seeing this now because I’m ready for it. This answers the questions I’ve been asking source for help. Thank you! 🙏🥰🤗

I needed to hear this reminder today 🙏🏻 thank you Kyle!

Brilliant!!

I love this. I relate.

Thanks, Kyle for the usual insight and rapid healing therapy. Your psychoanalytic skills are always superb. So blessed to be a member of the AEP community.

Thank-you!

So Soo good and refreshing!!! Thank you!!

love this

What an amazing clip. I was on the call But I am changing priorities so fast that watching this resonated much deeper than before!

As of last week I managed to stop my food addiction. I had been trying to fill up the emptiness inside of me caused from childhood trauma. I’ve lost that bottomless hunger. How? I recognized the legacy of childhood trauma in a very public family that must go back generations. The father abusing the son. And the fathers father probably doing that too and so on and so on. As this dawned on me how tragic for them I felt so much compassion for their suffering. I prayed for their hearts to be healed. It’s in that moment something changed in me. July has been tough just low energy and foggy feeling up to this point. My heart lifted up and something inside healed. I’ve been learning that when we see things we don’t like that are triggering in others it’s about ourselves. Love heals

Thank you so much! It helped me soooooooooo much!

Thank you so much one love

Thank you

I've noticed that I keep thinking I'll feel secure when: I get a raise, I pay off the credit cards, I sell my lot in the mountains, etc. I've done all of those things and I still don't have a sense of security. Apparently, it's an inside job. Thanks for the message, Kyle.

Just what I needed! Thanks!

wow what you just said at the end there just BLEW MY MIND!! so good..

Wowza. I listened to this live, but listening now, the day after Expansion First, two days after I had the chance to move through some big stuff with Kyle in Day One.... I hear it in a whole new way... or at least with so much more clarity and simplicity. I still don't "understand," but that's okay. I do not have to understand. It's No Understand August and I am happy to let it all marinate within! Thank you for posting this short clip to remind of the profoundness of the call.

Thank you.

You always know exactly how I’ve been feeling, Kyle! ❤️

This journey (life) is to learn to become align with what we "want " what does spark in your soul, not your egos want.

Allow our inner committee to deliberate, and you are the commissioner.

So affirming, thank you Kyle!

OMG this video explained sooo much to me.. for years and years everyone keeps asking what do You want?? What do You want to do?? even I have asked myself that.. and I can never ever come up with an answer.. This has been the wrong question for me all along...It sooo takes the pressure off.. I have had to take a break from this many times.. cause thinking about it,, just physically hurt inside.. I felt like I was missing a part that everyone else had.. WOW... thank you sooo much for what you do.. ♥

That was sooooo helpful. Thank you Kyle. Sending love ❤️

Wow. What a awesome, beautiful and powerful message ❤️.

Yesssss. I resonate completely !!

Hey Kyle, Thank you for this. I can experience more of the now, now.

I needed to see this video. Thank you Kyle ❤️

Excellent

Oh my! Perfect Kyle. Thank you 🙏 ‘Always in alignment regardless’ … we are moving beyond…! WOW! What we Perceive on the external is what we need on the internal! WOW! This is Brilliant ! X

Wow this hit me when you said who is the i that wants something but I realize I’ve been detaching with from my ego realizing I don’t want anything because I know I have it all but then I don’t fully know how to answer. But I do feel like I did want to know what I truly am and feel it to my core. Not just knowing myself but actually expressing it with confidence. Wow that’s so true wanting doesn’t equal happiness. This helped me see I too want to enjoy more of the now

I'm so greatfull I found your channel its my second video and I'm in tears already. Thank you

Superb, this is alignment

Wow, Thanks Kyle. 😊 That's exactly how I feel when I think about that question. I did asked myself that question recently and I don't have and answer. 🕉 I guess it's time to rejoin the everything pass 😃.

Very good point!

THIS IS SO SPOT ON....

Soo good! This has been a big lesson for me, learning to love the times I’m out of alignment.

This message resonates so much for me, even though I'm only halfway through... Noticed the likes at the time were 401, with 41 comments, and curiously I'm staying at a hotel room number 401...

Such a great title and so relevant

I joined the absolutely everything pass yesterday, what you give freely is worth it, if I never log in lol cuz sometimes I sign up and don't log in. I appreciate this free content so much, it's my offering that's also a gift to myself. I needed this one so much. Thank you 💞. This is realizing I'm further along the journey when I thought I was lost. And this my saying, you have to get lost to get found.

Brilliance 🔥 I want presence, mindfulness, gratitude and love

Wow, great video, love it when I learn something in a way that allows me to see from another perspective, thanks

Not acting out if triggers, very clear and strong.

Thank you 😀❤️🙏