I Drained Our Savings Without Telling My Wife 

What in the world are people thinking? How does a human being who willingly marries another spends their 40k savings without mentioning it? Regardless of it being spent wisely. People shouldn't be married if they are this dismissive.

LOL George 0:50 "foul" 😂😂😂

anyone else own up to doing this too? comment below for instant forgiveness.

So this brother did the manly thing. The responsible thing. And miss thing is in her feelings because he did the right thing? Somebody making make sense

Only one person should be in charge of the bills.

The domestic labor done by a homemaker does have monetary value that go towards the financial well-being of the household. If men were to outsource everything a stay at home wife does as a homemaker, he would need to buy a maid, personal assistant, chef, surrogate, counselor, nanny and a sex worker to access those same benefits that allow him to just focus on his career. It’s really not until men become single fathers with full custody that they really understand this.

My wife is in accounting, so she most certainly is in charge of the finances. She has an unnatural ability when it comes to forensic accounting, so I prefer for her to handle the household bills and our investments. Due to her research and choices, our investments have done extremely well. All of that being said, she includes me in every step and has the info to back herself up just like she would if she were going to her boss with something. You've got to communicate with your spouse about these things, even if you're right.

I knew it. He feels it is HIS money. In his mind, she’s a stay at home mom (a.k.a. Doesn’t bring in income) so he’s free to do what he wants with money

This is why I'm a strong believer that both spouses should regularly review accounts. This is a deal breaker in some cases. No such thing as one person being in charge of finances.

The title made me think he blew all their savings. He definitely should’ve confronted his wife with the idea, but at least he used it in a good way that will benefit them

Never deplete your savings. Every emergency requires cash.

At least he used it to wipe out debt. Could be worse. He could have taken that 40K to the casino. Yes not telling her was wrong. But he did good with it instead of bad.

I left a (lucrative) 15 year career as a nurse to be a SAHM and housewife. If my husband were to ever refer to our income as “his”, I would then tally up a bill of all the back pay he would then owe me as his live-in nanny and housekeeper. You cannot expect a woman to stay home and commit to raising the children, keeping the house, running the errands, etc... and then call the family income “yours”. Then you work a job for your money, and your wife works for her money within the home - cut her a paycheck. Our method is he works for OUR income, I work for OUR children and OUR home.

Whether it was for a good reason or not he took money with out her knowing That’s not ok. She’s probably terrified because in her mind, now they have no money and she doesn’t make an income :(

God is Good!!! My Wife and I just Acquired a new House here in Notting Hill, Despite all the ups and down in House Crisis in U.K... As you Congratulate me your own testimony awaits you. Praise God!❤️

And in my opinion, this is one of the two main reasons marriage is fail. When you get married you are one everything is supposed to be talked about and decided on together not separately if you’re gonna make decisions like this separately, why get married to begin with, and in my opinion, the second reason marriage is no longer work is exactly that marriages are work and nobody wants to work anymore.

Exactly, my wife does the finances, I make the money. But my wife also knows we don't spend more than 40 dollars without calling the other. I never have to look at the account. I do from time to time. But there's been times I knew a bill was coming and I thought we didn't have it. But I bring it up and my wife says no worries I saved that money to pay that. I think it helps alot to give my wife the authority to take care of the finances. Bc I'm tired and I don't wanna deal with it. And she needs the money all the time bc she constantly has the kids. I go to work with like 5 bucks in cash to get something f4om the snack machine. But I don't need the cards. And if I do I can pay with my phone. But I used to argue with her and say I'll do the bill paying bc I'm the man type thing. But that didn't work. Now I'm alot more comfortable with her deal8ng with all that.

My grandparents had this setup. My grandma knew nothing about the finances and my granddaddy never consulted her about anything because he was the breadwinner. He would come home with vehicles he bought but she couldn’t write a check without asking permission. I respect that at least Sal sees the error of his ways. I have a friend who works a job and her husband runs their convenience store. She found out they were half a million dollars in debt from the store and she had no idea. He would give her paperwork to sign and she did not realizing they were loans that robbed Peter to pay Paul and the IRS. She only found out after she came into some casino winnings and he confessed that they needed to use that money toward the debt. I told her what if instead of getting the casino money her husband had died, she would have been ruined.

Sal seems to be a nice guy. This is common in a lot of marriages but it's better to budget and plan together especially if the person "in charge" dies the other person won't know what's going on

I did the same thing, and when I told my husband, he said " Awesome!! Keep it up!" Haha

"in charge of finances" just means execution of joint decisions.....not unilaterally making decisions about the finances without the other party's input. Persons do have strengths and weakness and differences in knowledge base. So if one has a strong inclination towards financial knowledge, their responsibility is just to keep the other party educated (sometimes in just the basics) and then informed of actions to be taken.

I agree they need to go to FPU but the deeper issue is that she sees that he lied to her and made major financial decisions behind her back and this has Not only likely eroded trust, But also made her feel like he doesn't respect her. Because he was willing to make such a huge decision without even remotely consulting her. He sounds like a nice guy, And if he's young this strikes me as a very naive young married mistake, or you just got excited about something and then operated in that decision making as if you were single. They may need some marriage counseling not just to fix the trust here but also so that It can be understood why these types of decisions can really severely affect a marriage

This is why i will own my house nefore getting married

What's going on hey guys... so i fucked up...

When you are married you need to be transparent with your finances, its one team not two different teams.

Number one is God, second is my wife. Mad respect for Sal, being a man is taking responsibility and admitting when you did wrong.

Clickbait title ... we all thought he did it to buy a new truck ... xD

This is a really good call. I tend to be like Sal's wife and have a vague concept of our finances. I am not completely in the dark, I know what we have, though I am not completely aware of how my husband manages it. I am predictable enough in how I spend our household budget that I let my husband know if I want to spend outside of it. To that end, my husband and I discuss all big purchases and financial decisions (e.g., when we refinanced our house during lockdown). Sal is smart to start doing this with his wife, I think he will see a difference in how she approaches their budge and spends their money.

Love being united in working on finances!! It’s so cool to be connected on the budget!! For us we have areas that we handle i.e. my wife handles buying groceries and paying medical bills and inputs those and I handle mostly everything else as far as payments/inputting and it works great for us! Thanks for the great content Jade and George!! God bless Sal and his family!!!

Props to Jade. I would've never guessed she was a Blondie fan! 🕺🪩🎵😀

Why are so many people calling in about with marriage problems (these are Dr. Phil issues)? The finance problem he discussed if a symptom of a much larger issue in the marriage. Using the savings to pay off legit debt (versus gambling, drugs, etc.) is not the main real issue here. This guy seems afraid or doesn't know how to engage his spouse in critically important family discussion and decision cycles.

This is why I am single and have my own money

It wouldn't be a good idea to drain your savings even if you did tell your wife.

After we took Dave’s class, we started treating our finances more like a business. We had bi-monthly meetings before payday. We published a spreadsheet that showed income, expenses, savings, debt, retirement, etc. I took on handling the day-to-day paying bills, buying what the household needs, and saving on monthly expenses and my husband took on long-term savings, retirement, and paying down debt. Once every 6 months we do everything together. This keeps us both on the same page and aware of how everything is going. It also teaches us both how to do both roles

I immediately thought strippers and cocaine…that’s where my mind went

Jade can we hear the story, please.

I don’t think Sal is “in charge” to be controlling. I just think his wife may not be into checking the account balance daily. As long as the bills are paid she is good. At least that is what it seems like to me.

I can't get too mad at Sal. He isn't a bad dude. He wasn't sneaking behind her back, he wasn't trying to take money away from her, he wasn't trying to control her. He just needs to work on communication. Furthermore, his wife sounds like a wonderful woman. I have so much hope for them! Seeing the title, I was expecting to hear a story about a dude that bought a boat without telling his wife.

I am also in charge of the finances but I can't even take money to buy drugs without her freaking out.

So nice of overbearing Jade to let George get a few words in.

$17 per month for every dollar is stupid. Are you trying to help us or keep us poor?

He didn't buy a Corvette, booooring 😴

I really enjoy listening to George & Jade when they work as a team on this show. Good work!

I need to hear the wife side.

I would've been proud of him and super happy, like... "you mean the only debt we have is the house!" It was like he grit his teethe and did it. She said she would've liked to be part of it. I'd say, "from now on let's do this together, starting with reading the book again together." I'd also ask him, "Okay, what are we doing to build up our saving now?" I'd encourage him to get like a food delivery job or something, given the decision he made, now would be a good time to suggest he do that. I'd also explore a remote job for myself or something to bring in additional income. They then could make a plan to pay the house early and get some college funds going. 🎉

Need to put some bass in your voice 1st. This is yet another example not to combine money.. here we go with the wokeness. There are absolutely gender roles in a relationship. Don't let this feminist fool you.

George is like “10-yd penalty.” That’s more like a 60-yd penalty.

✝️

I miss Dave😢 He ask all the right questions!😤😤😤

It is generous to give access to financial peace university for free. Mrs Warshaw is very generous here.

At least he spent the money paying stuff off. He could of said he blew it on a trip to Vegas

Poor guy, he was trying to do the right thing but just went about it the wrong way.

America needs more men like Sal !!!!

she couldnt handle the plan !!! so someone had to make the plan happen.

Make him eat beans & rice, Rice & beans 90 days

So dramatic. It went towards debt. Not sure why he didn’t just leave some for emergency fund. Just build it back up now. Be sure to communicate with the wife. That’s marriage 101.

Get this guy a divorce please.

First thought… she’s going to kill him!

Man, that Ramsey KoolAid is powerful stuff.... "B-b-b-b-but, "muh baybee steps"..."

This show is become more and more,,, a Dr Phil McGraw show,,,, they should join Together,,,, “ how’s that working for you”””

don't get married

Come on dude how do you not atleast let her know what you're doing behind the finance curtain when using nearly all savings. She sounds like a pushover and would have agreed with whatever you say anyways. Maybe thats why he did it I guess.

Don't worry about it Dave, Michael Saylor used to say stupid things too, until he wised up, it happens.

This young man's only option is to go all in on Tesla stock. At these ultra low prices, they are practically giving away shares.

If he pays for everything… then he does run the finances…

Over 40k???? That doesn’t say anything. How much was it

Sal out in the outer rim living the dream on the frontier. Where the deer and the antelope roam.

I guarantee the debt was no where near as bad as the hell he's having to live with now 😂

Should have stayed in debt, Sal. 😉

Now that he put them in a hole it’s their money!

I know it is so difficult to be shut out.

Wait im confused. What did he spend the money on? Was it just debt or something else? Hard to hear clearly?

this show is more like a soap opera

I dont know what to think about this call. if he is in charge and it was decided when they got married then he has been trusted to run that side of the household. My wife and I have only been married for 12 years but I have always been in charge of the finances. she is in charge of the stuff she is good at.

He sounds young.

That women

OK, Daddy.

Lit ep

Now if this was a woman calling in none of the comments from men would be this kind.

Better to ask for forgiveness.

This is not a money issue. He lied to his wife. What else is he lying about?

If you dont chip in then you have no say so. Stay at home is an excuuse for women to be lazy then get mad when they get complacent

Why old ones, I listen this on podcast like few weeks ago

What a great husband! He did an amazing financial choice for his wife. Props for him becoming aware to introduce his wife into the financial goals. Watching an episode when Dave talks about how he talks to his family about his money. I remember this one episode how they still have a savings account that’s locked in a room and his wife won’t let him near the room. Emergency account that requires two signatures that they developed after he recovered from financial problems

Sal is the man 😅

She’s going do divorce him and take the house once he pays it off, guaranteed 😂

1:50 Disagree! It isn't necessarily a control thing (like the Ramsey team likes to think) but not everyone has the desire or skills for money management. That is the point of couples, the strong suit on one supplements the deficiency in the other. Forcing someone is a receipe for getting crappy results at best, and a disaster at worst. You wouldn't force someone to go rock climbing (for example), why force them otherwise? In this new world there may be culture differences, lost in translation differences, priority differences, making extended family a priority differences, etc., even within a single famiy. It is always said household finances are like a little company; well there is a reason why companies have one CFO and not ruled by popular vote.

This is why I will never marry or cohabitate or mix finances with anyone. I like 100% control of my money and living. If I have a child she/he will live with me or share custody 50/50 but I will never mix up my money, house, or car with anyone. No one makes decisions for me!

Who made the money? Only question that needs to be asked.

Salute brother...I don't see a problem he wiped out their debt now they can rebuild and do it properly without a cloud of debt over their heads....

This sounds like the nicest man ever.❤️

You should always have a savings account of Gold and Silver. It adds an extra layer of inconvenience to spend it. Another advantage is it saves your purchasing power when government prints Zimbabwe style. Paper currency is garbage as evidence when you go to the grocery store.

except he didn't really "drain" it, all the money went to paying off debt, and paying down the mortgage (and the money that went to the mortgage didn't get "lost"). Yeah he did the right thing.

He should have included her, but his paying off debt is helping the family.

this could have been a lot worse Imagine if he left it there and it was used for nonsense and being in more debt

I mean that's divorce worthy right? Also he paid college loans and cars, how much was the debt on each name? If it was mostly in his name she is gonna have a field day in the divorce court.

Sal is my new hero haha

The woman doesn't need to have anything to do with the money. That's a recipe for disaster.

And this is why you shouldnt have joint accounts 😂😂😂😂🤷‍♀️

Nothing wrong with being in charge of the finances when you're the sole breadwinner and she's in charge of the household. No need to apologize brother!