Thank you, I was thinking the same thing. When God said we should keep the marriage bed un defiled he new what he was talking about. It is for our own good alot of heataches will be mitigated. May not eliminate the problem but mitigate it. As a married woman myself, it's one of the best decisions I have made!
I wish that Sandrine would not blame herself. How could she have known. I pray Sandrine forgives herself, and continues to live her life. I wish all the best Sandrine. Love and peace from Houston, Texas❤
Praying for Sandridge healing and Heavenly Father will draw her, pour out His love on her, restore her life in every area. Lord bless her indeed. ❤️🙏🏽🌷
The problem is most people don't know that Christ died for our sin including this Sandrine sin which she commited without knowing. So only things Sandrine could do is to put faith in Jesus and from now on do not commit adultery before marriage and once you do that be sure your sin has forgiven. But Satan would want you to live and keep blaming yourself and calls for taboo which in god's eyes means nothing. This taboo is meaningless.
I'm glad that the mother took full responsibility for what she has done to her daughter she is the cause of all this and men should be more responsible for their actions I think they should seek some counseling so sad I really feel this young lady pain
How could the mother think that one day her daughter was going to meet her father and sleep with him and would get engaged with him? How many stories do we know of men walking out on their pregnant girlfriend? This happens a lot but father and daughter meeting and getting engaged is not so common, (I would like to think).
*Sandrine, just stop looking for answers, stop blaming yourself, stop blaming your mother, stop blaming your father and the man you through he was. THERE is NOTHING you can change from the Past.* *Time is a great healer. Have new goals and take one day at the time. I will be praying for you sweet woman.*
@@brysonkambole8670 why should blame mother??? When biggest folly is lies on the responsible man, he left a woman with child and he is also making out with a girl as his daughter's age ( as he knew), He never tried to find out about his daughter... isn't he more responsible??
Nobody is saying it. But kudos to the step father who stepped up married her Mom and raised her as his own . Sandrine this is not your fault. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you.
@@Margaret637 l presume you didn’t read my first message. Did has been done which is absolutely wrong but there is the of coming in acknowledging that fact letting by gone be by gone which is not going to be easy except with the help of a professional therapist. Everyone has a right to his or her both parents. Even though he was not there for her physically and financially he still remain her father and her mother is to be blamed for all that happened weather her father was a responsible person or not. I hope you understand where I am coming from. Thanks
The mother, father and daughter are already traumatised as a result of the incident that happened. We African parents should be very careful in the way we raise our children because this goes on till when the child gets married and starts having children be it male or female. The presence of both parents in a child’s life is very important. One of the major reasons for divorce today is partly the absence of one parent because we can’t give what we don’t have in a relationship. The women should learn not to raise their male children alone and should not use finances as a weapon against the man depriving him from seeing his child.
😢 very sad. I didn't know who my father was until i was 42 years old 😳 my mother would never tell me. I was told who he was 42 years later by someone who was from the same place we grew up. My father was a local married man who took advantage of my mother at a young age. I was the only child to my mother . My father had 12 of us. I grew up with most of his children from a child.. i called them my school friends not knowing we have the same father.. can u imagine 😳 not knowing where i came from caused me years of traum and depression 😔
sorry for you and your mother, but I hope that you don't blame her as it's equally or more traumatizing for her too, she may be avoiding to remember all those things by not mentioning..
The only person responsible for this is her biological father who abandoned her mother when he realised he had got her pregnant.I am a man and I speak from personal experience and observation and must say it is absolutely wrong for a man to abandon a woman who is pregnant with his child after all where do babies come from? Be a man and own up to the consequences of your actions or mistakes, which we are prone to make especially when we are young. The past never goes away it always comes back to haunt us when least expected as in this sad case, which has left a very bitter taste and an indelible mark on this poor girl's life. They say time heals all wounds but the scars remain. I pray she finds the healing of this wound for which has no blame for and certainly would not have gone into this relationship had she known he was infact her biological father. Now just one irresponsible and wicked act in the past from a selfish and self-centred person has resulted in what is a real tragedy which only God can heal.
Stop calling the man names, yes it has happened the man himself is not to be blamed totally, no one knows the condition of this man when this pregnancy was conceived, we don't even know the other side of the story, so you talk within power this social media remember
I am afraid you are in no position and it's not up to you give me orders.I just don't jump to conclusions because I feel like. In my post I wrote "from personal experience and observation" to the enlightened thought it should be crystal clear that I am not just having a knee jerk reaction to the story in question but a subjective opinion of presented facts. Thank you very much.
Exactly but some irresponsible people are feeling sympathetic towards the runner up father and is getting angry on you, but Truth remains what it is...
@@Century2008 he got his mother pregnant and run away from his responsibility and never tried to look for her mother...let's put aside everything, he couldn't take responsibility when he is young, but why would he get into relationship with a girl like his daughter age?? He makes out with a girl out of wedlock like he did in past which means he doesn't regret his past actions with her mother...
This is the biological father's fault, and no one else's. He put them in this difficult situation, and the mother did the best she could to help her daughter have a happy life.
Don't take her to a witch doctor or a church. Take her to a proper counselor who will explain to her that NONE of this is her fault and they will help her gain her self esteem and life back. The others will just brainwash and confuse her.
Only God in Heaven can intervine in this and give her true peace with what happened. Fellow men have no such power no matter what earthly name you give to them.
No traditional doctors please. It may cause more harm than good. Be careful with the church and the elders. No experiments, please. God bless. I pray for your healing.
And why is the father exploiting his own daughter this way?😱😱 He robbed her of every innocence and dignity. This is going to affect her many years to come😔😔
Don't be too hard on yourself my dear. It's very painful thing n this can happen to anyone. It's very important for parents not to hide anything from their children so we can avoid situations like these. Ask God to forgive you and also forgive yourself but you've a remarkable mother.❤❤❤
do not invite the father. they will end up getting married because they were together and sleeping together for two years already. even the daughter says no the father will still insist because had the taste of her already.
True daughter it was your mother's fault. She should have been clear to you. It's not the end of life. Just perceive this as a mistake in life. They failed to support you correctly that's all. You can rise above this cause you truly don't know him as a dad. That's a great punishment for him for abandoning you and still didn't find better than you out there cause he walked away from the best, his princess. He should have stayed and raised you. At least you learned before it got worse, so it's not too late. Love you stay strong rise up and get stronger. You are strong because you took this first step to acknowledge this and get healing.
Had the mother not been selfish, it would not have happened. Mothers must always tell their children who their real fathers are. Children deserve to know, from the mother.
I share with my children where I have messed up , at first they would reproach me. But now when they have started their own lives and made their own faults. Now they understand me. And they actually love me for being sincere and not hiding my own faults. They have taken their time now to learn from my mistakes. And still now come to me from guidance because what they have learned was how I was able to pick up the broken pieces of my life and move on. I lead them to Jesus and pointed out to them he has been my source for healing of my faults. Now as me their my mother and they my children we share our faults together among us and concerns as a family and help each other overcome and by each owning up. They have Bibles and can also go to the source for guidance. They have learned to realize we are all not perfect but can perfect our lives and see in ourselves the good we have done rather then keep focusing on the wrong we have done. We help edify ourseleves and we don't knock ourselves down. They have been thankful to me for sharing and not hiding my filthy rags to them. They have apologized to me for their reproaches and I told them was nothing to apologize for. We have forgiven each other individually. So yes hiding very important information from your children can harm your children but being frank one should not be selfish it might be hard to share truth but in the end truth is what will set you and your loved ones free. They might not accept it at first but eventually God will do the miracle for you. Because truth is light. And that 💡 will turn on . I have grand children and teaching my own children I now I can enjoy my grandchildren as my crown. because my own children have now learn to be also truthful. I know this because they come to me and share personal concerns to me and give it to them to the best of my knowledge from the scriptures of God. . They seen me grow in the Love of God and they growing in Him too.
You're forgetting one thing the mother said the guy took off with no contact probably she never even had a picture of him,she did what any mother would do keep the pregnancy and Carter for her daughter and the biological father never came back, so how come you don't blame the man who ran off as soon as she told him she was pregnant moreover at 16 years, as if that wasn't enough , him wanting to marry someone thrice younger him age,
@@mulondemujalia1329 The man came back and he was in the same village for some time. The daughter lived with her mother. It's the mother's responsibility to tell her child who his/her father is. They schooled together. They knew each other's family.
Sad but we can understand that it was not her fault. Anyone can end up in this situation simply because of knowing no knowledge. I hope she can deliver from her own thoughts and move on. Though it's hard. Everyone around her should help her to understand it was not her fault. Self acceptance can be difficult but such situation is pretty much likely to happen.
It wasn't her fault. She should hold her head up high and continue to live her life without shame. I would suggest counseling, but I don't think that's an option.
Mom was to blame for part of this. She was supposed to tell her daughter who was her dad an also it was her choice to continue with that relationship. Sad but real
it's equally traumatizing for her mother to remember a man who left her pregnant, she didn't know that her daughter would take interest on older man.... otherwise, she would have aware the daughter about her father, no matter how sadness it would have caused her...
@@Famerlyn it's equally traumatizing for her mother to remember a man who left her pregnant, she didn't know that her daughter would take interest on older man.... otherwise, she would have aware the daughter about her father, no matter how sadness it would have caused her...
Pole Sandrine, Don't blame your mother. She had no choice. Don't blame your father as he was a student when it happened. Men deny pregnancy when they are confused. To solve this matter, you need to involve the family of this man. It is Sadrine's family now. As families, you should be able to resolve the matter. The two families will need to meet and call this man. He is ashamed but with family support, he will come and participate. Sadrine's Adopted father is the only father Sadrine knows. He should continue playing his role.
The guy lied to the poor child. In 2 years he was talking and hearing names he was familiar with. He cannot tell me that for 2 years he never heard the name of Sambri's mother and surname... He is a sick soul
no one is wrong here . The mother had a rite to hide that girl from the dad reason being he impregnated her and refuse the pregnancy due u knw how u feel as a woman. Secondly the dad did not knw she's her daughter.thirdly the girl is innocent too. The solution here is for the dad to ask for forgiveness and continue calling her daughter a child.they should forget all wat happened.
@@user-bh4tl6ob4v No-one can. The ‘sacred’ boundaries have been crossed, for 2 years continuously there was incest. You can’t just ‘forget’ and pretend to be Father and Daughter not to talk about the fact that he abandoned her and ran away before she was born and made an active choice not to be a Father to her for 20+ years and continues to do so.
i was asking the previous commenter if she thinks they can just forget and move on. because that's what I understood from them. there's no way they can move past it. and definitely no way they can have a father daughter relationship. children need to be told. especially if there are other siblings out there. have seen couples that found out they were actually siblings these things could be preventable @@NickyM_0
It's very difficult for them to have father daughter relation after all the kerewawa.very bad.i think they should give each other space for a long time
She needs to forgive herself first and also her mother and father before God can forgive her. It’s impossible for herself but with God all things are possible. God we need your mercy
I think talking about our immediate family is something that should come up in conversation between 2 people sharing their lives at the very initial stages of meeting. How deep can one's love relationship be when they don't know such basics? Counselling could help if the young lady will open up to heal with a professional,otherwise if she believes in the traditional methods of compensating/cleansing for such mishaps,that could also help. Our belief systems are more helpful often times than we would want to give credit for.
Because people don’t have Jesus in their life. We should not be sleeping with anyone before we marry them. And we are supposed to consult Jesus to show us who our spouse will be.I do feel empathy for this young lady but also providing the foundations of the bible to our lives which shows us the right way too live our lives. In Jesus name. Amen. May this young lady find peace and healing 🙏🏽❤️
What a complex world we live in! I wish the mom had introduced her to her biological father or even shown her some pictures. Well, it has already happened so however much they regret it cannot be undone. The best solution is to forge ahead with the lessons learnt.
The problem here is there is no closure for Sandrine. The father and mother should sit down and she should also discuss the situation and allow to be in the life of father as his daughter
The bond was there from day one, but they didn't know why it was there as father and daughter. It's a sad union and the secret has come home to haunt all... Father has run off again immaturely.
Sandrine's mother should bear the greater blame. Sandrine, it's not your fault. Happily, your liaison with your "father" did not produce any child before the proposal for marriage and presentation to your parents. It's hard, but you need to move on. It could have been worse if you had a child or two with him before thinking of marriage.
Is actually good that the father disappeared after finding out because they could have continued with the sexual relationship. After time all will be good and maybe they could rebuild the daughter/father relationship
Mhmm this story is crazy. She's right she should have told her girl about the identity of her father. There's actually a saying that people who are biologically connected can be attracted to each other if they meet without knowing that they are blood-related. I'm sorry for Sandrine, she didn't deserve this.
Sandrine, I hope and wish you learnt to love and respect your mum. People make mistake and I think the most courageous ones are the one that admit and acknowledge their shortcomings. You shall be fine because all these too shall pass. love from Namibia
The problem is that if the ladies have denied from the lovers do to being pregnant. Sandra was not knowing any thing so what is need is to pray to God for forgiveness so that you should not do it again. The mother accepted the mistake , but learning from mistakes is very expressive. You pay more than expected.
The father ran far away away from his own flesh and blood only to seek back refuge in her bosom. Had he took his responsibility as a father this tragic would never happen. The mom only taught she was helping her child I don’t blame her though but she should amhave took courage to at least let her know the truth.
How are there so many critical voices here? I am surprised. There can not be many on this platform who have not already encountered more than one incestuous relationship within your own family and those were known family members. This girl needs no counseling. She loved and she wasnt afraid to commit. The mother might counsel her on why she chose non disclosure even when she knew the child was of mature age and had a right to know. The father should share openly with her with regards to his being the one whos insecurities regarding self set this whole thing in motion. She should be praised on her ability to recgnize and allow a connective kind of love into her life. Many are those reading who have presently relationships in their lives where the boundaries have been blurred and crossed, so many know the incredible courage needed to restore right fellowship. B4 we continue to judge let us keep in mind their union was of an unknowing kind whereby blaming God or the universe is understandable while our imperfect unions are done in the full light of the knowledge of the truth whereby we have only ourselves to blame. I do not give the father the same pass as his level of unknowing is a direct result of his decision and desire not to know.
Mother should blame herself for this abomination. It's impossible that it could be the young ladies fault. STOP keeping important information from your children parents. They will not remain babies forever
Irresposible dudes..they fathered children but they dont even know how their kids are.. These are the conquences u end up sleeping with your own blood..
Thank God she didn't fall pregnant and give a birth to her biological father. Wonder's shall never end 🤔. Wicked world. I blame her mother for everything
😮😢 that's sad and shocking that's why I always advocate for parents always tell their children the truth and always introduce family to each other smh i blame the mom and biological father but he to didn't know her wow attraction and love is such a strong thing
Didn't the father recognize the mother when she walked in the living room? I don't think the world is THAT small to where out of all women, at a club, he innocently chose his daughter >.< Within those two years, I'm more than sure the daughter spoke about her home life and family and he knew something was up. Out of chance that it was all pure innocent, then ..I pray Sandrine forgive herself and happy to hear she blame both parents for what happened instead of herself. Another thing that was disturbing and this is my take on things, the mother said "she did not know what to do. Should she take her daughter to the elders in a church or speak with church members". Listening to countless stories around the world, church members and religion nuts NEVER help situations like this. They tend to deal in shame, guilt, greed and anger. Church people have parents casting out their children in the street deeming them witches, evil and possessed and all that is currently happening...around the world. They damn the child. Anywho...One day at a time, forgive yourself and I wish you well.