I Found Old Footage Telling Erik I Was Pregnant! 

There is so much in this vlog. lol! Old footage of me and Flynn preparing to tell Erik I was pregnant with the twins! (I didn't know it was twins at the time), family time at the beach, update on my mental health, using the iconic hair blow dryer thingie that I've been wanting for years, and my cutie pants kiddos! Let me know if you have tips on how to use the shark! And also let me know if you have any (kind and gentle) advice on my current mental health struggles.

Hey Colleen, not sure if you will see this but I thought it might be helpful to hear. I am a nurse who works for an Adolescent and Young Adult Eating Disorder Specialist. Not saying you have an eating disorder at all, however there is something called Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder or ARFID. This is a type of disordered eating pattern that does not necessarily involve body image issues, but can explain some of your food aversions and hunger patterns. This is very common, but not well known so many people who have ARFID are never diagnosed. There is a medication that we put many of our patients on called Zyprexa. It is something you take at bedtime because it can make you sleepy. It can help improve obsessive behaviors (such as dermatillomamia) as well as anxiety, but it also increases your appetite. It’s not something you have to be on forever but something to get you over the hump and then you can wean off. Maybe something you could mention to your doctor. I know this is long winded but I want you to feel heard and know you are not alone. There is help for what you are going through so don’t give up. ❤

The way Flynn was talking gibberish back then and now he's fully talking, understanding, running around blows my mind :0

As a plus size girl, growing up I used to think that it was ridiculous when smaller people wouldn’t like their bodies. As I got older I realized everyone has insecurities no matter how they look. No one should be telling you that you shouldn’t feel a certain way ❤ the fact that you share your life with everyone even your insecurities makes you so relatable!! You are doing great!!

I know every human is different but there are TONS of medical options for the appetite issues. I love you for opening up about these things and your open conversations really helped me. I’m a high school teacher and noticed a very quiet student would pick his fingers and he had several sores/ scabs. I picked up a few different fidgets and he left a letter on my desk yesterday saying how grateful he was that I noticed and he never knew how to fix it before. LOVE YOU for making me a better teacher and person ❤

Hi Colleen, I have similar hair texture to yours and the way we Curlies should use a product like this is by using the brush attachment first to smooth it out. Then go in with the curling Wands. It’s not any faster than just using a straightener or curling iron but I think the point is just that it’s a “healthier” alternative for your hair in terms of heat damage :)

Colleen, have you ever had your thyroid levels checked? I had very similar symptoms (weight loss, no appetite, anxiety etc.) and ended up my thyroid was way over active! Just a thought :) Hope you start feeling better soon! you are beautiful no matter your size

Thank you for being open about your weight issues. My youngest kiddo(19) just pushed her dad and stepmom to let her check in to a residential eating disorder facility on Monday. She said no to going to college. She knew something was not right. She has seen Drs. and therapists. I am so proud of her for saying she needs help. Thank you so much for sharing that being super skinny is not everyone’s dream. ❤️

On the topic of struggles does anyone else struggle with constantly being exhausted from just living, because I find it so frustrating that no matter how much sleep I get I’m always tired. Love you Colleen, you got this!!

I’ve had the Dyson airwrap for a year and I have similar hair to you! I absolutely love it because I’ve learned how to use it now- wash your hair and towel dry to take as much of the moisture out as you can, then use the blow dry attachment to rough dry at the root of your hair. Then, take the smoothing brush and “smooth” your hair with that until it’s almost completely dry and then curl it with the attachments or the round brush whichever you want. I think The reason you’re getting those ridges is because you’re twisting the barrel, you need to let the tool do the curling and take the hair rather than turning it yourself, it will sit looser around the barrel and not create the ridges. (Also that sounds like it’s gonna take ages but you already blow dry your hair, straighten it and then curl it so it’s definitely not going to be that much of a change ahaha - also it gets much quicker the more you do it and as your get used to it!) you slay ❤

Maisie’s awareness of the outdoors was adorable ❤

You lowkey make me want to cry. You can tell you’re a genuinely kind person and it’s so inspiring and heart warming to see you. You carry yourself with so much grace even in your worse moments you still seem to remain a beautiful human being. You’ve been consistently kind through all the years and i love the goodness i feel when i watch your videos. You’re not perfect but you’re damn near there

You're not the only one having trouble gaining weight and dermatillomania and anxiety all at the same time ♥️ thank you for building this community that we can all come together and just talk and not feel judged

My husband never watches your videos, and he seen the other day he said “wow she’s so skinny, didn’t she just have twins.” And I took it the wrong way because I just had a baby and I’ve gained a lot of weight so I was jealous that I didn’t bounce back like everyone else. I didn’t know what you were going through Colleen, I appreciate you sharing your body issues with us. I’m so much more understanding of what other moms go through. ❤️

Colleen-- Just wanted to say that I started watching your videos while I was struggling through infertility and IVF and they became my comfort watches during that difficult time in my life. I'm happy to say that I'm finally expecting my first baby this spring.

Wow Wes is really starting to form words it’s so cool to watch him figure out his vocal range and how to use his mouth to form different shapes to make words you can tell he’s very intelligent and he is really thinking about each word before he says it, very different from your classic baby babble

Protein pasta is a great way to up your protein intake to help with gaining weight! Barilla or Banza are brands I like. Basically you can turn any pasta dish into a protein heavy meal without having to eat extra meats or whatever. You’re doing awesome Colleen!! ❤

colleen thank you so much for talking about your mental health because going through a rough time can feel so lonely but to hear others say that you aren’t alone means a lot, and remember that you aren’t alone either, we are always here to support you

the way maisy gets so excited with the trees and nature is so heartwarming.

I just wanted to pop on and say that I’m struggling too, but on the opposite spectrum. When I step on the scale these days I am appalled at how much weight I have gained and it really chips at my self worth, and it totally shouldn’t! You are so gorgeous, you always have been, you always will be, and we love you so much. Thank your for sharing vulnerable moments with us. I love you and we will get through this! Mental health first. ❤

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to think “oh I’ll bounce back and have an appetite once this stress is over” but it’s easy to forget that our bodies need time to balance out hormones and move beyond distress and anxiety. I appreciate you talking about this because even I struggle with stuff like this even after years of therapy. I just finished a stressful finals period and thought that I would feel better once I had all that stress behind me only to lay in bed for two days feeling upset, dejected, and aggravated that I wasn’t “better”. Have kindness with yourself in the same way you would with your children. Wishing you the best ❤❤❤

Colleen I am also a woman with adhd anxiety and ocd and who struggles maintaining a good weight. I totally understand. I know you say to us all the time “you’re not alone” but sometimes it’s nice to hear it back so I’m here to tell you that there are lots of us who understand and are here to support you 💕

Watching Maisy on the hammock made my heart so warm!! Can’t believe how much Wes & Maisy are trying to talk now…seems like yesterday they were just tiny lil babies ❤

Let me be your cautionary tale, Colleen! It's so so soooo important that you take time to relax and manage stress (i.e. taking on less). I know it's so hard to do, but I was constantly on the go doing all the things, taking on all the projects, and never saying no to doing more things until my body stopped me dead in its tracks. I had lost my appetite, felt nauseous around the clock, and completed exhausted, but couldn't sleep. I kept telling myself once I was done with x,y, z it would get better, but the damage had been done and my adrenals were completely depleted from running on fumes for years. That was 5 years ago and I'm STILL trying to recover. I'm such a fan and care about you and want you to be healthy enough to do all the things you want to do both for your family and career, but to be able to keep doing that (and get to that healthy weight) it's so important you take care of yourself and lower that stress. Much love!

I love how the babies were actually watching when Flynn was doing his Christmas show. That was so cute

COLLEEN! WHEN are you cutting your hair????!!! can everyone like this so she can see it because i’m so ready for her to do it already! 😂

One of the many things I love about Colleen is that she talks about her body and she says that she feels shes too thin but still makes it a point to tell people that if youre thin or not, youre still beautiful

Noticing such sweet changes in Colleen. First time mom to now, she seems so much more confident having some parenting experience under her belt. She’s rocking the mom of three thing!

Can't tell you how grateful I am that you choose to be real with us and let us know we're not alone if we're struggling. I have a lot of chronic illnesses that I developed, especially after fighting an eating disorder in 2018. I've thankfully been fully recovered for almost 5 years now but have been physically getting sicker each year. I had a really traumatic procedure over the summer which caused a lot of my symptoms to get worse and made me unable to eat or drink much (I basically survived on protein shakes and pedialyte, getting as many sips in as I could). Long story short, I've been struggling to gain weight ever since, having to commit every day to making sure I'm nourishing and hydrating myself, as it's harder for my body to do so because I get severely nauseous every time I eat/drink (most likely the result of having a restrictive eating disorder at one point). Facing this all while trying to get through my last year of high school and hold onto hope for my future has been so difficult. I've been having really intense anxiety and PTSD since the procedure and am typing this comment with bandaged fingers from dermatillomania. There is SO much comfort in knowing you're not alone when facing silent battles. YOU are not alone either, Colleen! Sending you so much love (and anyone else struggling right now)!!🤍

I absolutely adore this woman sm, even though she'll never know who I am as I'm a person behind a screen, she'll always be my Internet mama 💗

I love how when Colleen watches back these videos she can see the excitement in her babies eyes from a whole different angle. Like when she’s holding them or sitting behind them she can’t fully see their expressions but on camera it’s a memory of the full moment. So special 🤍

It’s so sweet seeing how happy of babies Wes and Maisy are…seeing how far they’ve come from their tiny tiny NICU days is always a highlight of these videos. Good job Wes, Maisy, AND COLLEEN AND ERIK FOR HAVING SUCH WONDERFUL KIDDOS

Omgosh!! Nothing better than finding video footage you’ve forgotten about! You and Erik are literally the cutest couple and have such an incredible family. Love the way you are both so supportive of each other and so great with your kids!! ❤❤❤

I call this the vulnerable time of year. There’s so many things that can trigger you: memories (good and bad) from childhood, thoughts of people who have come and gone, and even money issues. You cannot even escape. The sights and sounds are everywhere. Know you are not alone and that Spring will eventually be here. ❤

I’ve literally never felt more validated in my life. I too struggle and have always struggled with depression/anxiety disorders that constantly effect my eating habits and I’m so unhappy with how I look. I also struggle with the awful skin picking disorder and right now it’s at a peak for me as well. You’re not alone Colleen. And I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that such an amazing human as yourself has to deal with such damaging demons. you make people like me feel heard and I literally couldn’t love you more for it. Thanks for all you do. Much love ✨🤞🏼🖤

What a moment with those babies on the hammock!! I have a beautiful memory of doing just that with my mom and it means a lot to me to see the way you interact with your littles, thank you for being you Colleen! ❤

I struggled with infertility for years, I have pcos but thank goodness I have 2 miracle babies. Don't lose hope ladies

I am so unbelievably grateful for Colleen and her vlogs at the moment. I'm struggling more than I ever at the moment and Colleens vlogs are where I come for comfort. I know you won't see this but I hope Colleen realise how much she does for people ❤

Colleen, I don't know if you'll ever see this, but as kind and gentle as I can, I want you to tell how much I admire you, always. You open your heart and soul to us and in doing so help more people than you'll ever know. You're such a great Mama. If you weren't, your kids wouldn't be where they are. During the pandemic I spent most of the time waiting for 2 surgeries that had to be postponed and later recovering. I looked forward to your vlogs Every. Single. Day. 🙏🏻🤗🥰 I know your vlogs have helped so many people. You talk about your anxiety, dermatillomania & mental health when many people are afraid of anyone knowing. I've no doubt that there are many people who are no longer afraid to ask for help, because of you! You've been on Broadway, wrote and starred in a Netflix series for 2 seasons - where you met your handsome and incredibly kind husband. Who is also a great actor. You have an incredible voice and tour with your alter ego Miranda. You have this incredible life in Southern California **BUT** you're still very human and people can relate to you. Everyone has difficult things in their life, regardless of wealth or fame. You're a beautiful woman with a heart of gold. Don't let the trolls get to you. Those of us who love, support and follow you, know what's in your heart. I sincerely hope that life will settle down in the new year and you can get settled in your new home. Thank you for the love and laughter you bring into the world. 🙏🏻❤️🥰

The moment with you and Maisy on the hammock was too cute!! Loved that special mother daughter moment. It reminded me to share moments like this with my daughter more.

Tortilla Talk Question: Since Flynn is 4 now will he go to preschool or anything similar? He seems like he would love learning! Love watching your videos!

I’m 36, just had a surgery for endometriosis and my surgeon discovered that both of my Fallopian tubes are completely blocked. My fiancé and I have been together 10 years and it’s been pretty devastating. I love your content and I love the joy you and your family share. Beautiful video 🤍

I've always had a hard time with eating and gaining weight. A few things that personally help me: 1. Always eating from a plate, and using larger plates - I tend to always leave a few last - very difficult to eat - bites, so I try to always take a bit more food than I think I'll eat to try to avoid not eating enough. Also important for me put things in plates rather than just eating it on the go, I find that holding food in my hand makes it feel like a lot more food than it actually is. 2. Try to not to think about eating while you are eating. Try to have some sort of distraction, like watching a video that doesn't require too much attention. 3. Drinking only after you are done eating, and trying to avoid drinking before you eat a meal in general. Liquids will make you feel fuller faster if you are eating and drinking something at the same time. 4. Sticking to 3 substantial meals a day and avoiding snacking until after you are done eating your dinner. Those are some things that work for me, I still struggle sometimes and I have a hard time gaining weight even if I'm very strict. Hoping sharing this could help someone!

Colleen I also have trouble gaining weight because of my anxiety and dermatilamania/trichatilamania. When you talk about these things it feels so good to know that I’m not the only one, it’s comforting. Thank you ♥️

Thank you for acknowledging how difficult it is for some people to get pregnant, my husband and I have been trying for years with no luck and it is truly heartbreaking every time I see that negative result

Flynn 2 years ago was precious!!! He still is though ❤❤

Hey queen! I’ve been a fan for years and years and I just want to say that you are an amazing mom and amazing person, and I’m proud of you for recognizing when you’re struggling and being honest about it. That is HUGE!! I struggle with my own mental health problems and ADHD, and you are not alone and are loved! You are doing everything right for your babies! And by that I mean any mom who is doing their best is doing THE BEST! You got this! No matter what, know that you can get through it and you are not alone. So many of us understand and love you.

Thank you for talking about your struggles. Sadly today is a day where we are dealing with the loss of Twitch who was well loved and nobody ever would have guessed he was struggling in any way. We need to normalize talking about our difficulties. It’s so, so important.

Colleen, thank you for always opening up about hard things and sharing all your experiences. i’m also currently struggling with gaining weight and eating. it’s been months of this. knowing that i’m not alone is really comforting so i just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing how you have been struggling too. we’ll get through this together ❤

Ugh I love this family so much and it’s so exciting to reflect on where they started after all they’ve been through! What a gift that footage is😇

Thank you Colleen for being a great example for me and my baby girl! She is a few months younger than the twins and you’re showing me how to be a great mama to her 🥰

Sending you love, Colleen. My heart is heavy today from the news of tWitch's death. I struggle with mental illness too and I"m grateful you are vulnerable online and show the hard parts of life too. It's not easy but you do and will help so many others who are struggling. You're beautiful. Sending love to everyone. 💜

The faces Maisy makes! And her courtesy laugh! 🤣🤣🤣💚💚💚

dang from the thumbnail i was like “YESSS BANGLEEN IS BACK!”

It's so touching and comforting to see you open up about your struggles. I shows us that we are not alone. I really admire and look up to you Colleen

Colleen, hearing you talk about your struggle with weight gain resonated SO much with me. It’s almost my exact experience with anxiety/appetite to a T. Thank you for sharing how it affects you and helping me to know I’m not alone. I just hit my goal weight, but I remember those days of gagging down food all too well. Wishing you a speedy weight gain journey!

The footage of you and the kiddos in the hammock was so lovely!! I love how talkative the twins are, they are absolutely precious 🥹 I suggest adding warm white “fairy” lights to the tree(s) around the hammock to make it even dreamier! (Or maybe even those “meteor shower” lights✨💫) I can see it being a romantic date night spot for an evening picnic with Eric 🕯️💖 My anxiety has been troublesome lately too girlie ❤️ Is it possible you’re subconsciously holding anxiety surrounding Christmas too? It’s been a source of anxiety for me too depending on the activities/personal social climate of the year. (Like getting the perfect gift for everyone, making sure you accomplish all the seasonal activities and traditions that make Christmas feel like Christmas for you and the fam, redecorating for the season, etc.) Thank you for sharing your day to day with us ❤

colleen! you are doing so well. (from someone in recovery from an ED) it might not feel like you are, but the fact that you are recognisant of and taking steps to better your attitude towards food, your body and eating is incredible!!!!! that is such a powerful first step in the right direction! Something that I found helped when I was regaining weight was the support of eating with other people. seeing other people eat normalises eating and makes it something social to enjoy, even if you are having a tough time with food. also products like sustagen drink taste like milkshakes are really good for adding vitamins, minerals, and energy to your intake. you should be so proud of yourself, we're all rooting for you!! also omg flynn was so little in that video :)

I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year. Its vary hard to keep taking tests every month just to have your dreams crushed. Its also veary lonely. Watching you with your family and sharing your struggles with infertility have not only made me feel less alone in this but also gives me hope to not give up. It will happen one day. I know i will be a mom someday some how.

I’m so excited seeing this just 10 min after she posted! Colleen I want to wish you and your family a merry Christmas and happy new year! I’m 41 and have been watching you for 10 yrs, almost since the beginning! You’ve gotten me through so much in the years and I just absolutely feel like we are long lost soul sisters with out like and habits down to McDonald’s coke, dermatillomania and our fashion sense! If I’m feeling a certain way I’ll watch a vlog and you’ll be feeling somehow that same way! I’m a mother of 2 and I love watching you with your family and as a working mom but you have given us so much of you for over a decade we would 100% support you in any decision you make when it comes to your mental health, even if it means seeing less of you for a little or however long. Maybe still talk to the camera when you’re having any type of feelings but keep that as a video diary for yourself so you can go back and maybe realize a pattern in something you do or anything that could be playing a part in your mental health. Still film as if you were posting but don’t post, see what it’s like to keep it private for awhile? This is only coming from a place of love and respect! I would of course miss our daily “chill s sessions” that I look forward to so badly but only want what’s best for you, your health and your family. We will always be here for you whether you post daily or weekly. We will always be supporting you and all that you represent and stand for! Much love from Nicole in PA!! 🎄🤗🤟🏼

Colleen you are amazing and I love watching your family as your kiddos grow. Stay safe and warm this winter 😊

Girl, I’m so sorry about everything you’re going through with your appetite. I’ve never experienced your exact situation but I can somewhat relate. I am currently pregnant and have been super sick and nothing sounds good. Gagging down something that doesn’t sound good so you can feed yourself is just the worst feeling. Keep at it and do your best. You got this ❤

Colleen I cannot thank you enough for talking about your struggles. It can’t be an easy thing to do but you are helping so many to not feel alone. I have been watching you for years (found you through a zoella video years ago) and really respect you. I have always had very similar struggles to you as when I am overwhelmed and going through high stress I suffer with disordered eating, anxiety, depression and hair pulling issues. I recently had it the worst I’ve ever known, I was so desperate and my son was seeing me cry everyday. I had to make life changes and that included giving up on a successful business and letting others down. I don’t know where I got this mantra from but I just kept saying to myself, “protect your peace”. And this meant turning my whole life upside-down. But I had to protect my peace. For the sake of my family and myself. I also sort help from a therapist, was on medication for a short while and received couples counselling with my husband. I’m not perfect now but I am a million times better than I was. I’m a healthy weight, stopped hair pulling, my friends have told me my sparkle is back and my son isn’t seeing me have a breakdown over the weight of expectation anymore. Sometimes you just have to protect your own peace, even if you feel like you are letting others down. And know that you are not alone.

Ilysm, Colleen ❤ You're the epitome of love and light and I sincerely appreciate you!

I just wanted to Let you know how awesome you are and how much of an inspiration you are to younger generations love you ️❤️

As someone that has dermatillomania, you make me feel seen. I even sent my boyfriend a video of yours explaining it because you articulated it so well. I’m struggling right now with it too. You’re not alone ❤ and thank you for being so real and sharing your life with us.

My heart is melting just seeing little flynn and seeing him now. He grew up so fast 😢 Colleen I just want to know that you are beautiful, your strong, and you matter. I know you will get through all your struggles! I appreciate you always. Sending you lots of joy and hugs ❤️God bless you and your family ❤️

as someone who struggles with BPD(borderline personality disorder) as well as multiple obsessive harmful behaviors to my body such as skin picking like yourself, as well as hair picking. you are so so not alone, every day is different. it feels like no one understands how hard i wish and how hard i try to not be this way. but i am, and it so comforting to hear you talk about it so openly, so thank you.

I still remember when Flynn was born you have come so far!! I love you and your videos!

I can’t express how much I love watching these vlogs. It’s so honest and real, i love how you share things like we’re on a FaceTime call. I also love the editing, it’s got great music to fulfill every emotion that’s in it. I do like the longer vlogs too! And talking about the topic of weight, you’re not alone. Everyone struggles in their own way, and i applaud and thank you for sharing that life isn’t always all happy. I struggle w weight as well, but opposite of what you’re going through. Food is how I cope with my stress. So, i relate and understand you, and i hope that together day by day we can continue to grow ourselves and achieve that person we want to be, and with knowing we aren’t alone, we can do anything. Life sucks sometimes, but knowing that other people don’t have perfect days either, and finding at least one great thing within your day, that’s what makes life worth it ❤

Colleen, you're so amazing. If it wasn't' for you not too long ago talking about disordered eating I never would have thought what I was dealing with was a REAL problem. I went to the doctors about something unrelated, talked about my anxiety whilst there and absolutely broke down and blurted out everything about my eating problems which put me on hopefully, the right path. But if it wasn't for you saying it when you did, I may have never done that. Im still awaiting an assessment and it still could maybe not be until June :( but its little steps forward and I owe you such a big THANK YOU. After years of struggling I've finally taken the first step after being in denial for so long. It's going to be a long, difficult wait; but I thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I hope you are okay and start to feel better about yourself soon too, I know it doesn't help much because its such an internal battle but you are beautiful. To anyone else dealing with this, the first step is SO SO hard but when you are ready, take it. 💟

I’m at home sick with the flu and this vlog just brightened my day. I feel like I got hit by a truck but seeing Colleen and her sweet kiddos made me feel better :)

It might look better if you use the sharrk tool after a shower, use the regular blow dryer attachment to get it mostly dry, then use the brush attachment to dry and smooth the roots and then use the curling attachment last to finish it off.

This is why I love you Colleen!!! I love your honesty and the fact that you share how you're doing. To anyone thinking it's not a big deal it really is to me. Feelings are hard to express and you do such a wonderful job expressing yours. With your pregnancy and your challenge with food when stressed and feeling anxious are very relatable to me. I appreciate you and I'm sorry you're struggling right now. In time this hardship will pass. 💜💛💚

We love you!! You are not alone on your journey ❤ wishing you all the comfort and joy in the world! You are a shining light & you do some much good in this life. Struggling with self image is so brave to talk about- no matter which side of the conversation and I’m so proud of you for sharing. Making other people not feel alone is a gift ❤

As someone who has adhd and may have dermatillomania, I relate very hard Colleen. Sometimes what helps me is when I notice I am doing it, I hold my hand over where I want to pick and I squeeze it with a nice amount of pressure while breathing. Hopefully it may help you as well! ❤

Maisy is an absolute adorable Gem. She has the most amazing laugh always makes my day better!!!

i just love you so so much. you are a walking angel on this earth. i’ve been dealing with mental health issues too and was diagnosed with high anxiety. thank you for not being afraid to talk and admit to your struggles so people feel less alone ❤❤❤ you are loved by SO MANY

I think it is SO IMPORTANT to be able to talk about our feelings. I absolutely just loathe how we are not supposed to talk about anything. Colleen, please always vent, express, cry, laugh, sing dance etc etc it is OKAYYYY. I am sending ALL of the hungry vibes your way, praying and just hoping you can find some comfort, calming peace this holiday season. I just love your videos.❤

You guys are an amazing family! ❤️❤️ you’re such amazing parents!

Colleen I feel you so hard with the weight/appetite talk… I’ve lost probably 30 lbs in the past year from how my mental health has been. It’s so frustrating but I literally cannot eat. I have no appetite and I’m repulsed by the food I normally love. I am so glad to know I’m not alone in this 😢

My therapist and I are going to start really tackling my trich/dermatilomania and I brought up to him that I really like that you talk about your journey in your videos because it helps me feel not alone in this, so thank you for the continued updates. My fingers have been so bad with the dry weather as we get really into winter here. Sending all the good vibes and encouragement to hang in there

Hey Colleen! I just wanted to tell you how much I love your videos. You are a light in a very dark world most days. I love the love between you and Erik, you and your kids, Erik and the kids, and especially Flynn with Wes and Maisy! Thank you for being a constant. I can't tell you enough how much your videos mean to me. They've helped me through some very tough times. I also wanted to mention that I worked in healthcare as a CNA for 16 years. I worked in a long-term care facility and we had several patients that didn't have very good appetites and often wouldn't eat. They were prescribed Marinol to increase their appetite. That may be something for you to consider, it really does work. Any way, love you pretty lady! Keep being who you are, keep shining because you never know who may be borrowing your light to navigate their own paths 💙💜

I personally haven’t experienced the feeling of being unable to put on weight (I’m the opposite 😅) but I have friends who struggle and have for years. If I’ve learnt anything in life so far it’s that you’re struggles are always valid. If something is difficult for you then it’s difficult and no one’s opinion should make you feel less validated. Know that you are beautiful and a fantastic mother to your children. I hope you feel better soon and allow yourself to enjoy the festive period. Sending love ❤️

Hi Colleen! Im so sorry you're going through a very hard time mentally. Something that has helped me to eat when I don't feel like it is watching a video or a TV show that I really enjoy while eating. It makes me take time specifically for sitting down and eating and also helps me associate food with something happy that I like. Hope this helps! Have an amazing day

Hi Colleen, I started watching your vlogs this year and can't stop since. It's so comforting to see your lovely family and you talk about everyday life stuff. I'm moving to another city soon, too, and also struggle with big changes. Your vlogs help me with that. So, thank you! About your struggles with eating, I have a good friend who has a similar problem. She also can't eat when she's stressed. When I visited her over the weekend, we spent the whole time together talking, preparing food together, eating, watching films and more talking. She told me afterwards that my love for food and eating helped her to get some appetite. Maybe you have someone, a friend or family, who can take the pressure of eating and make it more fun. Maybe cooking with someone helps. I wish you all the best! Get well soon 💚

Thank you so much for sharing your mental health struggles with us and being vulnerable. Sending you love and strength as you work through these tough situations. You're aware and working on it and that's already a lot 🩵🩵🩵 loved seeing the footage of you and Flynn when you found out you were pregnant 🥲 my son will be 6 next month and I cry every time I see his toddler videos 🥹 my fiance and I have been trying to have another baby for 6 months now and it's quite the emotional roller coaster 🎢 🥴

Hey! For the frizzy parts, when you get out of the shower use the brush attachments and brush your roots 2-3inches so that it tames it, then let your hair dry to roughly 80% (air dry or blow dry) then curl it ones your roots have been dr-Frizzed.

Everyone has issues that they are working though. Even if they look perfect on the outside. It is so good to see people talk about the hard stuff. It is seriously amazing! Have you had your thyroid checked? 100% suggest it. After having babies, the body can still struggle. Also could it GERD. When I hear you talk about stomach issues, I relate💜

Thank you for being open and honest. Everyone is struggling with something and it is nice to know we aren’t alone! ❤

Ilysm Colleen! Thank you for being so open with us, as I had a hard day emotionally today. I relate to you so much, I also have adhd and am super sensitive so I love having our little cry moments together😅😭❣️

Colleen, I've struggled with trichotillomania (similar to dermatillomania but I pull out my hair instead of my skin) for years now, but I can say that genuinely you talking about your struggles has helped me so much in accepting it as a part of who I am. Obviously I want to get better and learn to deal with my anxiety in a healthier way, but you speaking openly about it has made me feel less alone and helps me be easier on myself when I go through a picking episode. So short answer - yes I totally feel your frustrations with your mental health, but I also don't want you to apologize for talking or complaining about it because simply just being open about your struggles and not sugarcoating it helps so many people

It’s so refreshing seeing people use their platforms not only to share content, but share real life experiences and problems. I too fluctuate weight, particularly when anxious, and don’t like the outcome it produces. Seeing you share your feelings and thoughts helps people like me feel valid in my own feelings. Thank you for sharing and always being authentically you even when it’s hard 💕

Hey Colleen, I just wanted to say thank you opening up about your struggles it makes me feel less alone with my anxiety.

Hello my queen. I have been watching your videos since 2017 and around year ago I started religiously watching your vlogs and rewatching all of your videos to get me through the darkest time in my life. your podcasts and vlogs and main channel videos kept me alive. the way you speak so openly about your mental health makes me feel so much less alone and like everything is okay. your energy is like a ray of sunshine and you deserve the world. thank you for sharing your struggles with us in this vlog today. I have ADHD, dermatillomania, and very very similar eating struggles. Hearing you describe the exact same emotions that I feel just calms my soul. You truly are an earth angel and the best mom to the most beautiful family. thank you for sharing your life with us. - Carly , 19, from the US

7:55 flynn was so little!!! can’t believe he’s 4 already

hi colleen, my mum struggles with dermatillomania too and the things that have helped her the most is putting lotion and oils on her fingers and then put gloves on to protect. she wears this for a couple hours a day and she has seen much improvement. this could also work on your feet with socks. P.S you are so strong and brave and no matter what anyone says your are absolutely gorgeous. i have been watching your videos since bread in lockdown and tiny flynn and you have inspired me to be the best version of myself and never take anything for granted.

Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with mental health and how it affects your overall health. I am currently in a similar boat dealing with losing my mom, being working from home mom of 4 boys and a puppy and just feeling like I have lost myself. In my situation I eat and now am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. No matter how hard I try I just cant seem to stop the stress eating. I don't have advice per say other than to just take each day and know that you are not alone. And something I like to tell myself...remember "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and loved more than you know" You will get through this!! Thank you for sharing your life with us!!

Food issues and maintaining weight is so common with adhd and anxiety. I personally have the opposite issue where I binge and I’m honestly struggling with it quite a lot at the moment. Thank you for sharing where you are at with us, and I hope you get your appetite back soon ❤️

When my thyroid was borderline underactive I was underweight and struggled to eat as I had no appetite, terrible anxiety etc. It was missed as usually it makes you overweight and because the test results were borderline rather than out of range they ignored it. I later had my THYROID ANTIBODIES tested and this strongly showed the problem. X