I Found The Perfect Boyfriend 

Why does this have 3k likes but no comment💀 I'm confused

Nah fr

@@katthestranger don't question it.

​@@katthestrangerthere's nothing to respond to straight facts with 😂

​@@katthestranger10K with 5 comments including me lol

i dont

@@bucketman5138 you know what, i respect that too

@@addieloomis218 lmao

Hes doing imagines but with himself and yn

@@vogelvrouw cutting out the middle man

Underrated comment

Stoppppp 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 omg why is this right though?!

No no. Cocaine

Nah man he’d give kids the stink eye while he smokes in the bowling alley

@@KingOfGaymes he would definitely cough and plug his nose when he walks by someone who is sweaty (and look at them judgementaly)

@@liamsteamwalsh8421 lol no lies detected.

i remember feeling so bad for my poc sisters who were 1D fans when that vid came out 😭

Tbf if you listen to one direction you’re probably white

@@weavesnatched7957 wait am i stupid but why was the 'being white' part said?

⁠@@sharlowtay_thestarbecause 1D has more than just white fans, but they only used white girls as the pov for viewers so it kinda felt like they were leaving out the people of color fans :/

Bold of you to say its only 35 for this guy

like that meme of the guy doing housework and he's like "it's all a part of the foreplay".

My husband used to be a dota2 player. I was waiting for like an hour

Ikr it’s like “I’m so selfless! I make my wife wait for me to finish the game before I return her affections!”

i knowwww that part killed me, the "you wait patiently" 😂

it's absolutely fucking hilarious i hope he continues with it

Wait, did that actually happen???

i thought it was a joke first time he said it but i do think it's the funniest fucking thing even tho it actually burned down

@@AAAAAA-nw1tx yes it did unfortunately! no one was hurt but they lost a lot of merch and belongings in the fire. but kurtis posted recently that they got a new tour bus and were able to continue the tour :)

@@annah2284 oh no! At least everyone was fine and they were able to keep going

Especially when there's a song in it too

Nah he's the " you wouldn't date me bc I'm so ugly"

These are not mutually exclusive, and they usually lead into each other. ​@@brianaverly6391

“Babe don’t kys you’re too sexy haha “

@@brianaverly6391he’s both ngl

ew...we used to call those ppl a human vacuum cleaner, because they suck the life force out of your life using emotional manipulation to "get hugs"

Also the "Hey gurl..." "Um...." "Did you know" "That you look beautiful?" from 2012 Facebook memes *edited to correct typo*

Omg yes... I know too many people like that

Yes. I don’t like those people it makes me feel uncomfortable luckily my dad is protective!

@@BunniesAreAdorable my dad once asked me if Id feel better if he beat the people up that crossed my boundaries and abused me. Maybe Im crazy but just him saying that made me feel better already

@Wrath 🅥 shut up

Fr

Made me gag a little

i want him to replace his intro with that tweet

Honestly my favourite lmaooo

I should have really realized I was a trans dude earlier when he bought my sister clothes but if I took any of them he’d set my closet on fire

Help I’m non-binary but I look so femme he won’t stop buying me dresses my home is completely inundated by dresses I’m drowning I can’t find the door to escape my house please I’m

@@DiMagnoliaoh no they just died from drowning in dresses

@@oliverthedum2129 "dresst" in peace 😔

@@toceeno874 😭😭😭

"Is it normal? No, really, is it? I don't know I'm so tired"

like that one and key and peele sketch "what is thaaat" or smth like that

autistic me growing up LMAO

I'm lowkey embarrassed to admit that the Stitch language made me feel nostalgic, because I was OBSESSED with Lilo and Stitch as a kid and would speak in the Stitch voice a lot when I was like 7 lmaooo

@@KreeZafi I loved Lilo and Stich but this was too much for me 💀💀💀

It's the "think about it" right after that makes me immediately wanna just click away LOL

"Ladies is it weird that ..." YESSSSSS , if he was my boyfriend i would be freaked tf out , ladies is it weird that I find it creepy af instead of stimulating ?

Resurrected cringe culture

@Türkiyeyi seviyorum how deep is your love

Damn the bots working overtime 💀

Man I'd make good money if I had a voice like his 🥲

@@fricketyfrackgettfback as deep as the bottomless pit I have in my backyard that I use to dispose of bodies.

it is called manipulation as he makes that bs up.

I collapsed into myself like a dying star the voice was my ultimate undoing

@@DiMagnolia omg astrophysics joke

so... you don't wanna be his boojiboo? 🥺

but would he actually post this shit if he had a girlfriend? 💀

@@wiselordasianjesusthegreatest thank youuu

Repress the urge to vomit long enough and you get a new wardrobe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@@liamsteamwalsh8421because this is fucking weird. a thirst trap is shallow.

@@liamsteamwalsh8421 emotional cuts deeper than surface level sexual thirst traps. if that's not an obvious fact to you you're probably from a different planet and that's fine

well its a song, not a video

And a 16 minute video with so much editing

Our goodest boi has some serious ADHD vibes

infp vibes babyyy 🤟

@@cyanbaba7795nice pfp

As another woman I can confirm that this internet stranger buys my articles of clothing.

as a lady*

its true, I'm the clothing

@@amandaburton5868 what's the difference? /Gen

yes, he buys all of the shitty clothes i have come to possess as well

The Spider-Man kiss was actually in a One Direction fanfic😭😭 I’m pretty sure y/n was dating Harry

you've put it into words

Hahaha

Ladies, is it weird that i want us BOTH to wear the Angel onesie? 😳💞

"Oh my God men are horrible and I.. Wait, not my problem!"😂

“Ladies, is it normal that I’d transition just to be your boyfrie...” don’t you dare dude, don’t you dare

SAME 😅

Word

Obviously 🤭

yes

I am so sorry for your replies

What a reference

It's a strategy that sadly works

@@anibalvaldebenito8810 to appeal to teenage girls

It's for the algorithm, people will comment and more comments mean the video will be boosted

@@TomatoTomatoTomatoTomatoTomato negative attention be attention regardless

Is it weird 🤪 that when im your boyfriend im attracted to you? 🥺🥺🥺 ladies please i have no idea

if you don’t call her boojiboo while wearing the matching onesies i’ll be very upset

i nearly gagged at the video then realizing i have a matching onesie with my boyfriend

As a straight woman, same 😂

I am a man who doesn’t know his sexuality(fun), he makes me wanna crawl out of my skin, run away to a different country, and take 5 1/2 baths

My organs are shriveling up and turning to dust just hearing his voice

Onggg@@lillienicholas4581

real omg@@placeholderdoe

This is what bothers me about it too, like its directed at all women because we're just a monolith

@@sallyversace6784 it feels like it goes further, tbh. Not only what he thinks women want, but also blatantly projecting what he wants. I feel kinda bad for the guy. Seems lonely. But, also, I'm still really uncomfortable with his videos. He's like...either trolling us all. Or, he actually thinks those comments from 12 year old girls is an indication of how he's perceived by all women. In which case, yikes. Edited bc I realized that the sandwich part i mentioned (since took that out of my comment) was Kurtis. Oh boy. 😅

@@jf2801 um... I thought the sandwich bit was Kurtis satirising him? Or did I miss something?

some guys forget that we're human beings too. and it really sucks.

@@jf2801 what? The sandwich bit was a ninja reference

The bots omg

Relatable

Hi! you finally found a human in the replies, Suprising right?

@@Juliet-ow1wy i fell for it lol the one with the kurtis picture and name 💀 im so done

@Kurtis Соnnner 🅥 kick rocks

explains the way he talks in to the microphone

These replies are killing me 💀

He's used it so many times yet it still gets me every time 💀

The way I scream every time it’s played

It has truly been the only thing keeping me here since the extra greeting stopped

i personally come for the bratz girl saying "ew" but "balls" is a pretty good one too

the “imagine if” bit was just a one direction imagine from 2013 i got war flashbacks

"I tied my long, golden hair into a messy bun and threw on my favorite cropped top that hugged my hourglass figure tightly. I always hated looking at myself in the mirror, I stared at my icy blue orbs while they stared back at me examining my body. I hated how small and petite I was. I hated my sharp jawline, flat stomach, clear skin, naturally straight,white teeth.I hated that I wasn't like other girls, I hated makeup and shopping, i loved reading and eating pizza and playing video games. After hating on everything about myself I rushed downstairs to see my alcoholic guardian that hates me. They said to pack my bags because they've sold me to a popular boy band so that they could buy more alcohol"

@@rae4007 Amazing 10/10 would read again

Autism detected

This is an entire type of guy???

I'm stunned you've met more than one (bc I've met zero so far, not including this Alex guy)

Link to the clip of deez nuts *ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NSX1bdZoy3k.html* (Making fun of bots)

Rip, your comments are full of bots

damn, britain was too cringe that it killed the queen.

@Emotional Damage For a second I thought you were one of the bots lmao

these bots also killed the queen

I dunno, I watched the whole thing and still have no idea wtf is happening

i had a dream that i was swept away by a tornado... this felt the same

Yes, in the skit where he was confessing a kink that lead into the "I'm the joker" twist was so wild lmao

Fever dream*

Or you think you know until the end😭

“Ladies I have a serious question for you. Is it weird that I’m in your house right now? I personally see nothing wrong with it but people keep telling me it’s weird.”

Lol to be 100% fair he might suck at the "getting a girlfriend" part because he comes on too strong and skips right to the "being your boyfriend" part that he might actually be good at. But yeah no still a fair point and you're probably right lmao

Polyamory

Love the suzuya pfp

@@genericname2747 yes

jesus christ the bots… is this what it’s like to be early

@Kurtis Соnnner 🅥 😩

@im calling saul deez

Where

LMAOOO YESS

which tweet?

@@echomoth9270 4:44 he’s mocking the tweet lol

I think just any physical contact initiated by a woman gets this guy going.

@yes that's a bot

@@justyuan0907 that user is also a bot

Disney prince anthem?

Legit what I was thinking :D He puts so much effort into his vids, even the ones that have simpler concepts

@@Alex-hd4yr oh damn

3 if you count blood-related!!!

🎶DOOFENSCHMIRTZ EVIL INC- CORP-O-RATED🎶

Phineas and ferb

Ah, Doofenshmirtz

@@garfield_tv oh shit yeah

Yup, "But I'm PERFECT how could ANYONE not want to date me, you must be stupid!" 😂

yes!! the nice guy energy is strong with this one

he’s incredibly cringy and weird

he seems like one of those dudes that are like "where is my hug at?? 🤓🤓"

@@JujusCandy Alex Meyers reference?

I love tink tonk

@Thank me later 🅥 where's the video where he gets exposed for giving people polio

it’s not the first time he’s said that but each time i hear it i can’t unhear it

what's with all these spam bots

Alright, somebody own up, who ordered the Spam Bot Special?

it’s scary

it's definitely photoshopped or has those smile filters on it

This is very funny. well done

Nice that’s he’s respectful like that

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Barney? Is that you?

oh you too? 🧐

Some wear a mullet

If this is being loved, I want no part!

Kurtis has the power to break the spell from any boy lmao

Same

I had never experienced the ick until this video. Turns out I don't like new experiences 💀

and makes a full musical number lmao

Have you not heard of furries

17 is super young. Once you're old and sad like me, you'll be much less shocked by people saying *much* worse things. The internet is a truly awful place.

@@calvinlee8103 it's truly a cesspool but I still be spending all my time here

i don't think it's weird to compare yourself or someone else to the behavior of another animal? like golden retrievers are known for their open affection, friendliness, and loyalty so he's saying he'd give this hypothetical girl the same affection and loyalty a golden retriever would give their person it's a weird way of saying he's a bit too into women showing the littlest bit of physical affection but the dog comparison is one of the least weird parts of the video lol

girl you got so many more years...... thats not even the beginning

LITERALLY I can't believe Kurtis was able to watch the clips and laugh, I was looking away and gagging the entire time

EXACTLY i just really hate the concept of praising someone for the bare minimum

I literally hate his voice so much I wanted to throw up

@@isopodcritter fr, i can’t cope 😭

the chances of this content being harmful is low. but not zero

Seems like I am the only human here, The AI is taking over and this is the first step

Why are there so many bots in this reply section????? Aaaaagh

@@perplexed1783 yes it is >:^)

@@businessmudkip4548 don't stop them...they're scamming each other!! xD

I'm so gay for him 😌🎉

hard same. the first couple videos were all i needed to be convinced he is an abuser. he’s sending the message that the bare minimum is special and other men won’t do it. he’s the only one who can provide the emotional intimacy that is required in any relationship. that is absolutely an emotional manipulation tactic. he disturbed me so much i kept covering the screen and talking out loud to myself to drown out his voice lol

he’s also specifically targeting women who are victims of previous abuse because they’re the only ones who might actually believe that what he’s advertising isn’t normal behavior. predators seek out easy prey.

Because it seems fake as hell and you wonder what he's really like under the surface 🧐

@@laceyrainbolt5432 what in the hell are you talking about. Thats really horrible what you just said dude. The guy is cringe not a danger to society, seriously you need to grow up and watch what you say about other humans cus that is some insane accusations you just threw out over some silly cringe behavior. he is targeting, at worst, lonely people who want silly cliche cute things in their life. Speaking as a "victim of previous abuse" you are deeply ignorant to throw around words like -abuser-. STOP diminishing the meaning of serious shit by using it on BASIC ass cringe behavior. he is uusing "pick me" behavior, not "abusive manipulation against victims". ffs

It’s his expression too, he is so smug and self satisfied while he oozes this toxic sludge.

@Zyzz The bot itself is betraying his kind wow

id call him budgyboo in public and then explain to any woman he met that he wanted her to crush him sexually.

@Zyzz the bot betrays his own kind

This is not a man who has friends in real life.

@@jeremyschapstick that account is also a bot, it posted a link right above that comment, it's trickery, perhaps even witchcraft

😂

ok

oK

If this isn’t a complex video then every other RU-vidr needs to step up.

ok

Is it w e i r d that I watched this video twiceee?! XD

Yeah it just felt like a normal video. Very funny and light hearted. And the song at the end 👏👏

honestly id say this is one of his best videos yet

Yes, I feel fully fed

i thought he has editors

That’s good to hear. I’m having trouble pooing, so I guess I’ll definitely get a ticket now.

Pee time 😊😮

ayeee i was there too, i can’t believe everyone pooped on the floor at the same time

I saw him in Chicago as well!! Laughed so hard I almost lost my voice 😁😁

@@lavenderlaceration they were all so good :,,,,)

😂😂 I was about to ask what’s the name for an indoor Chad then I saw a Chad had responded 😂😂😂

Double it, I need all of it Yes it’s me

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-MKglQNRmhHI.html

@shad shad I don’t like it, it looks like a cement block with a top hat

Me too

i was literally coming to comment this im still cracking up

Hugo from Love Island

Wouldn't a pick-me guy just be the male version of a pick-me girl?

Omg so true😂😂

Fr tho

It's goddamn infuriating to see either gender do.

It's what did it for me

that was so fuckjg funny

i was drinking tea and nearly choked bc i started laughing so hard

It caught me off guard to the point I'm like cursed to look at Joker Conner

I was eating and actually spit my food out cos it caught me so off guard and I couldn't stop laughing

I have All the Abs

Idk these things don't really sound like the bare minimum. The bare minimum/basic respect should be met in 100% of relationships and well, i wouldn't want him doing basically any of the things he described. I think these are actually pretty romantic scenarios if you're into that kind of stuff, to me it's mostly creepy/uncomfortable lol

@@jsas2047 It doesn't feel romantic to me either honestly... Sounds like something I'd see in a fanfiction tho. The random dancing thing was cute, and I'd smile if I saw it in a book is all lol

can't relate

@@cryforhelp7270 truee i mean the Disney stuff can be cute if you're also a Disney adult but.. I'm not, so this is definitely not the bare minimum/standard for my relationship (or relationships in general, I'm pretty sure most people aren't disney adults lmao).

agreed

And he’s famous for it 🥴🥴🥴

he doing it to manipulate impressionable girls

Congratulations Sherlock you cracked the case

@@harvey8138 my faith is restored and mother will be so proud once I print this comment section out for her.

Im sorry for ur replies apart fron the ppl making fun of the bots (which i think may also be) bots but eh they r fine

omg a pick me guy lmao

This video shaved several decades off of my life

Every time I think I’ve been the most uncomfortable in my life, Kurtis raises the bar.

That actually sounds terrifying if you take it literally.

Me too!!

So they accused Kurtis' fans of being toxic while exhibiting toxic behavior themselves? 🤔 Yep! That sounds like Twitch! xD

@@e.k_liadon haha yeah

Its always incredibly strange when the person themselves is completely fine with and seemingly self aware with their content being cringe but their fanbase takes it painfully seriously

possibly brainwashed

To be fair to those toxic chatters, I have seen some popular toxic comments here too. Glad the guy took it well and could have a laugh.

Blech I just had so many flashbacks to high school

Gross gross gross gross gro-

No literally

except he would probably say "i'm sowwy 🥺"

There’s something off about him. Also if you’re putting yourself out there on the internet you should be prepared to be criticized.

@@staciemae oh yeah definitely!! this guy absolutely gives me the creeps and i in no way intended to defend him (although i see that you could understand it like that), i just meant to say that i find it sad how we seem to be so used to men being absolute rude assholes that someone can get famous by exploiting basic human decency. like,, if most men weren’t so awful this guy would have not be this successful at all

@@ellekawe I don't necessarily think that it's just guys being rude asshats (though that happens a lot) but just that it's easier to fantasize about having a significant other while not thinking about any of the negatives. The thirst videos will usually focus on what they will do for you, but a real relationship requires you to do stuff for them too. Not to mention real relationships sometimes encounter friction and compromises. Actually getting a partner requires you to go out and look/talk to people and risk getting rejected. Therefore it's easier to just imagine a boyfriend than actually putting yourself out there and trying to get one.

I believe it’s just for 14 year olds. Noone over 18 would give a flying V about that

It’s pandering and gross

professional cuddlers are a thing!

Suprised your comment didn't get blasted with bots, Ig they hate hugs

Right? I'd love that.

i need a hug

Unless they're professional football players who are sick and traumatized from getting tackled

Yeah admittedly I don’t think I’d wear a matching onesie unless prompted to, but cuddling is literally so minimal. Not to mention just decent enough trust & respect should be a prerequisite; if they don’t trust you with access to their phone if you’ve dated for a while then that’s just weird. Too many gifts are off putting but occasionally is dandy.