As the years go on, my friendships seem to dwindle. That could be for any number of reasons, but perhaps it's a normal and even necessary part of life. Everything is not meant to be eternal, and that's ok.
A black man expressing his feelings. Wow. Salute my brother. Transparency and honesty is a undervalued trait. You’re going places. Just keep ya head up gang ❤❤
@@gastarbeiter8384let me just simplify it for you….black men, when they’re young, are told to not show their emotions, man up if they’re crying. Crying is for girls. So, when a BLACK MAN shows his emotions as an adult, it’s a good thing! He is not ashamed to be vulnerable
@@D_A_Marv yea and that’s only a exclusive black man behavior right? 😂 wtf literally every man on this planet is growing up with the same stuff no matter what skin color you got. No matter where u go, europe, russia, china, australia every man is told to man up and dont cry. But you don’t get it because your stuck into your little racedefined world
@@gastarbeiter8384 They have a valid reason, but you didn't think before you posted. In many black communities a male being this emotionally honest is seen as a weakness more so then many other demographics.
@@D_A_Marvthat’s very true. It’s all about culture. We all grow up in different cultures and it is a big factor in how you turn out as an adult. Although I do always believe in self-accountability.
@@Comporio Straight facts. I cut off everyone besides 1 friend, I can definitely say I've never been happier. Although I do wish I had some friends to play games with once in a while.
This isn’t true… humans are social animals, relationships are core to what we are. Believing this statement is not useful to you. Sticking with solitude is your own way of protecting yourself. Reach out to your childhood friends and cousins, share stories, be honest, and keep open minded to new people. Hope this helps
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I’m In the same position as you even with 1 million subs. No girls, no attention, no parents or family. Just grinding from the bottom and it hurts me inside everyday
you just need to find something that drives you some sort of passion that keeps you going or at least thats what i do. stay positive brother that's all you have at the end of the day, your mind
@@Ashleyunfiltered fuck god, he doesn't need any more imaginary friends, he needs real friends. real people, who don't know who he is and want to learn who he is.
Im 21, had maybe 4 "friends" in high school, and I use quotes because I never hung out with them outside of school. I have 4 contacts in my phone, just immediate family, I'm broken, and I've almost ended it a couple of times. I never thought it could get worse, but my god, it doesn't stop getting lower. Seeing these types of videos helps me to try and keep going.
Hey Sal, I definitely understand how that feels. I moved states in middle school so going into high school I never felt comfortable because I thought everyone already had “their” friends. I eventually found an amazing group of like 8 kids. One girl ended her life our senior year of high school, 2 girls spiraled into a dark depression and have been in and out of treatments, and 3 others moved to separate states across the country. I only talk to the last 2 friends from that group and other than family they are the only 2 people in my phone. I’m only 20 so I can’t give much life advice but I understand how you feel to be broken. I’ve failed out of school, struggling to pay bills, find a better paying job, and can’t seem to hold on to any type of healthy relationship. Everyone I know sees me as the most bubbly person on the outside because I don’t want them to know how I really feel inside. I tell myself that tomorrow could be the day I get my big break and that it will be worth going through all the tragedy. All I can really say is plan ahead for you future but take life day by day, you will never see a rainbow until it storms and the harder it storms the prettier the rainbow will be. Please keep your head up and stay strong!!
Going off what the other person said, everyone has their days that can stretch on for weeks, months, etc. Really, the most important thing to do is to keep pushing with hopes for something better. You can't give up this early; you've just started. I'm only 19 myself and about to turn 20 in half a year. I've been a marine for longer than I've been a high schooler, so I've had shittier days/weeks/months than the majority of people will ever have. I try not to make friends, but somehow always attract them in the weirdest ways. 😅
Friendships take effort to maintain over time. You have to make a point to deliberately nurture & support your relationships. Just hanging out for fun isn't enough -- you have to help each other out in hard times too, & be willing to learn & evolve from conflicts.
maybe this is why i don’t have friends… having a friend isn’t hard but maintaining it is. I don’t like texting everyday , i just feel exhausted and drained how do have so many friends
Yes definitely but then we need people, we are humans. When people are isolated it had detrimental effects long term . I blame the society we are continuing to build, less community more isolation and individualism
It does NOT speak volumes about the loneliness epidemic. This fact only means a lot of people find it interesting enough to want to listen to it, no matter who is the guy speaking. I'm just pointing out that your statement is realistically invalid. Yes, this is an everyday guy (looks to be in a good state) venting and has a ton of views, rare but it does happen to people here and there. Yes, you can definitely argue there is a loneliness epidemic. But no, they are not related whatsoever. Maybe whatsoever is harsh, but there is no direct connection, they just both happen to be independently "true". Sorry.
I’m glad that I listened to this video, this reminds me so much of the difficulties that I faced in my mid 20’s. I grew apart and lost contact from a lot of my friends, and I also had to distance myself from toxic people. You are growing as a person and the best people are yet to enter your life and you will find friendships with those who you least expect 😊
As a 51 yr. old dad with 2 teen kids I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings. My kids struggle with loneliness. However, looking at you and your strength I am sure they will find their way. As will you. All the best to you!
Keep your head up bro. As a 40 year old man with 10 years of his life incarcerated until 2022 I too have no friends. Everyone I knew were dealers, thieves, and armed robbers. I cut them all out of my life to better myself. You’re going to be fine. Chin up, If they aren’t about who you are as a person. F em.
Im on the younger side , 19 and what you said is some real. I had a small circle of friends that I knew since elementary. We grew up in poverty and yet even though they make bad decisions i sticked with them. Now at 19 that same group are addicted to fentanyl and are locked up. Glad I left them when we were 16 I probably would of been homeless if I didn’t man up.
Hey brother. I was falsely accused of assault and there is a chance I might have to spend 11 years in prison. I might have to cut off everyone I know including my family if I receive jail time. Any advice on what jail is like?
everyone is selling you dreams and false hopes. our geneation is cold and only seek clout or money. our attention span is worse than a fricken fish bruh. I'm sorry you're going through this. i don't know how you or I are going to get out of this situation.. we are in this together. You're not the only one. I'm also lonely and have no friends and seeing lots of fake demons around. i'm here for you
I am 21 and currently feel like this. I’m so relieved to see this being spoken on. Thanks for your transparency and letting it be a safe space for everyone. I hope it won’t be like this forever, I’m healing from my friendship PTSD. From having girls steal my clothes, talking to guys I was dating or just in all not being a genuine friend… it’s hard out here. I have been falling more in love with my alone time though and being more appreciative of it. My advice would be to continue to do things that make you happy try new hobbies, movie nights, find scenic parks, travel & explore your city, self care etc..
Im a 30 yo woman and I have no friends nor boyfriend. I had friends before, I thought we were very close but it turned out it was just me who thought so. I’ve dated before and got crushed too much too many times. Now I isolate myself from interacting with any human as much as possible. I know there are good people out there but im just not lucky to be friends with any of them
When I was 23 (I’m 33 now) I reconnected with an old friend by reaching out to congratulate her on graduating. We are now best friends and talk every day. Don’t be afraid to reach out to old friends especially if you have something in common with them.
But be wary of contacting old friends, especially if you fell out with them for a reason. Nobody loves to see your downfall more than an ex friend who thinks they know everything about you, because you used to know each other
23 and never related more to a video or someone in my life. i just watched your other vids and had to come back to this one and really just say how much i appreciate your mindset. it’s truly amazing to be able to connect to someone like that fr
I am 43 with no friends. It sounds like you have focused on achieving and have lost friends along the way. Just know once you get into the fields you studied in you will make new friends and try reaching out to old friends if you feel the need to. Life is ever changing and has a way of making your friends grow with you,
I feel like our generation is dealing with this the hardest. I'm seeing so many people my age struggling with a lack of relationships. I'm turning 22 in a couple weeks and I relate a lot to everything you're saying
@@KorerynI hear you but we're talking about how this stuff effects our growing stages. We were raised on the internet and many of us are missing out on our youth because of it
Man whats happening to people today. Can we not develop some thick skin and learn to love others. If you want friends then show yourself friendly. If you want friends then initiate. Get your eyes off of yourself a little and learn to appreciate those around you. Theres nothing good in simply loving yourself as most people do that anyway. Loving others is hard work but rewarding because we are all creatures that need others whether we want to admit that or not.
@@Qrr0wned yes you can. Depends who you're loving. If your focus is Jesus and you know that love of Jesus who gave his all, his very life for you, you will find it easier to love others and yourself. Why? Jesus death demonstrates the enormous value God has placed on human life. His forgiveness of sin demonstrates his willingness to forgive you and me and therefore we can and should be in good relations with others. In the book of proverbs (somewhere) it says, "he who wants friends must first show himself friendly"
i’m glad you’re speaking on this. i’m new here, but i’m 34 and have no friends, no real relationships that are mutually respectful or supportive, no connections… for a lot of reasons. most of the real homies passed away, friends who didn’t deserve the title, friendships that fade over time. it’s pretty hard to face not having anyone left in you’re corner, especially in a time in life where it’s hard to form friendships- with other impacting factors (like i’m autistic, and won’t mask to hang out with someone). but im glad more younger people are being open about it, i can’t imagine going through my 20s without people to share experiences with, places to go form memories, realize what makes a true friend too. the world has changed and the impact on human connection is a problem if you ask me… we all need someone, we’re social creatures at our core.
Kim, I can mostly relate I am 37 with no friends 90% my choice for real. I do have IG but I only follow Carhartt and Cabela’s. With all respect, where are you from?
@@thatbaileygirl No, I meant “man” lol. I wasn’t saying “you’re speaking for a lot of us men”, I was saying “hey MAN, you’re speaking for a lot of us”. I see why you’re confused lol.
Thank you for sharing this. I am a 30 year old woman, my friendships have dwindled down and I no longer care. I have been protecting my energy because a lot of people are not rooting for you. I want to be focused on the goals I've set for myself and that requires working in silence. You will find people who match your energy and are on the journey you're on. It requires being patient, selective, and the relationship needs to be consistent. I am no longer running after people for attention, acceptance, or to be loved. I've done that majority of my adolescent years. I've always cared about what people thought of me. Use this time to find a small community of people to have some social life. It can be as simple as joining an adult sports league, outdoor activity, artistic circle, then come home and focus on yourself.
This is a very negative and false message. A lot of people can root and care for you, and you just have to find them. I wouldn’t encourage people to isolate themselves or not pursue friendships as a result of past friendship trauma…
I relate to this so heavily. I’m 19 nearly 20 and I feel so alone. I’m adjusting to it but my mental health has been in the gutter since I started uni in sep, it makes me question my worth. I love your vulnerability and bravery to make the video so others can hear ur story and apply their opinions too. I wish us all well💕
You are so real for making this. You seem like a genuine person & good for you for staying true to who you are & knowing when a person isn’t for you. I’m 25 almost 26 and I’m in the same situation. It hurts sometimes but if they were the right people then they would stay. Hope you’re well 🌸
I am not going to lie. I saw this video title, and I got so excited because not enough people talk about this!!! Too many people in this world genuinely don’t have friends don’t know where to find them. Don’t know what it means to be a friend and their whole sense of community is lost I admire you for speaking out.
socializing sucks for 10000 reasons. I once heard that you need to talk to maybe 100-500 people before you finally meet at least one person who you actually get along with and I totally agree.
friends set you up for massive disappointments. i have known people for 25-30 year who randomly just decide to throw the friendship away after all that time over some TOTAL BULLSHIT like me not responding to their whatsapp messages inside of an hour. people are losing their minds out here...
I respect this guy for even coming out like this on RU-vid and giving his time and stories on his experience. Men today shut down and decide not to say anything about they feelings. It’s inspiring to see some people have so much courage.
I can relate 100% with this man. I had to cut friendships because it was necessary, and other friendships just died out. I really only have two friends. One who I've known for 14 years and the other who I met in college 3 years ago, but lives far.
As a 29 year old, same. My “friends” started falling away from me around 23-25, and since then I haven’t made any new ones, and barely revisit the ones I had in the past. I think it’s normal for me, but hearing other people dealing with this too makes me feel less alone in dealing with it. Thank you for sharing.
I relate to this a lot. These days, I just personally go with the flow, whether that means staying lonely or continuously making new friends, time will tell. Also, I think people just get mentally exhausted of always checking up on each other, which is why you start to feel the both of you slowly depart. Thanks for speaking about this, and sharing your experiences with us! Best of luck to you Zo!
That is damn sure the truth . It seems especially so if you’ve moved for work like myself and know zero people in the area you’re in . I just have taken it like you said the older you get the more normal that tends to be .
I'm 30 and I don't have any friends. Highschool was horrible for me and it really affected my ability to be social, even a decade later. And now trying to find a partner is hard because many people don't understand and think you must be a weirdo because you have no friends. Reading the comments made me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you for this video!
@@eleonanyc784 wow I'm so sorry you went through that traumatic highschool experience. You know, it really does make perfect sense that our childhood experiences affect us so much into adulthood because our brains are still forming and our bodies are still growing so trauma is literally engrained into our heads and has a continuous effect on us. It's horrific how cruel people can be, especially teens. I hope we can all find the happiness we deserve, at the very least some comfort so we can get through life a little easier. I wish you the best my friend, keep utilizing therapy if that's what works for you❤️
I had a lot of friends in high school but had some rumors go around about me that ruined everything. Ever since then I feel like I cant be myself socially and now I can’t make friends while im slowly losing the ones I had which is somewhat typical. I broke up with my gf of three years so now im really feeling it and i cant seem to find new people to make my life full again
Hi I'm 50 and i don't have friends. I have a couple acquaintances and people i chat with at work but not people i share my deep thoughts with. I was never the type of person to have a lot of friends but life and negative experiences made me a much more reserved and private person. It's hard to find people that are really interested in who you are as a person and what that means. Most people nowadays are fake and do things to get something and im not down with that. I've grown very comfortable with the fact that i spend so much time alone and honestly have come to prefer it that way. People are complicated and i prefer simple and drama free. Thanks for posting this video.
I feel you man. That’s one of my biggest setbacks aswell. Ever since I graduated high school it’s been harder than ever to make new friends and it sucks because I’m also shy at first so that makes it even harder. I just try and be myself and maybe I’ll bump into some people eventually. Good luck man ‼️
I'm also 25 and have no friends so I can relate. I have not had a single friend since I was in High School, and since it's been so long since I have had a friend, I have completely lost the ability to socialize properly which has been preventing me from making new friends. It sucks sometimes because you feel like you don't even exist.
You dont make friends, you connect with people. Dont put so much pressure on yourself to be noticed by other people. An attitude like that stinks. Get passionate about something
@@wayy2much311spot on bro. Tbh at one point I made multiple female friends when my guys went off to college and some of us stayed in NYC for school. I will say having a strong male group is very Important but also don’t put too much into it bro…sometimes extra people are a beadache
Nobody at your work you like?? Shit they don’t even have to be physical. I have tons of friends on PlayStation that I don’t even know in real life, but we know each other as if we did!!
Man I can here this dude at the verge of tears after like every sentence, this making me really sad. I hope this guy can find some people or just a person who he can really just be around and be comfortable.
He just need to accept what is, don't be upset or sad about it, learn to be at peace with it, you are enough. We can want a friend si bad not knowing that person can be our worst nightmare
@@Clearbluesky771I think it’s common for us humans to wanting to make connections and to feel a belonging. By nature humans are social creatures. I certainly think yes it’s okay to be alone and necessary for growing up to learn about yourself but being alone for too long can affect somebody’s well-being
Well some people need a stable connection/friendship(s) more than others. Some people's mental health and just general well being can depend on whether they have that feeling of community and like they belong, it's natural. @@Clearbluesky771
thank you for sharing and for being so vulnerable❤ I'm almost 22 and I feel you. I have just a few friends, could count in one hand, and sometimes I really miss having a group of friends like I had in highschool.
this is a big problem and so many people in our generation are going through it right now. It's admirable that you made this video, not enough people are open about these struggles. The only way we can solve this is together as a community
As life goes on you learn that jobs will come and go ,people or “friends” will come and go, seasons ,situations will come and go .You have to learn to be content with yourself ,and don’t rush anything in life or compare yourself to other people’s path.Everybody is living a different life .
Fr thats true shit you got maybe 1 or 2homies for life that youre close with and others that you dont see long but youre still good amd got youre back 💯
i’m 20, almost 21. i graduated HS in 2020 when we didn’t get a graduation, prom, or grandnite. The majority friends i had are doing their thing. I basically have no fiends, nobody texts me first, and spend many weekends alone. I find it tuff to deal with because i’m socially awkward and i always wished i could easily connect with people, but i struggle greatly. So making friends, too, is always tuff. I am starting to grow a drinking problem cuz every weekend i cope with my loneliness by drinking and watching movies. Hopefully we all gain the strength to accept loneliness and make it beneficial. I haven’t found my strength but i’m hopeful. Prayers up brother🙏🏼
It’ll be better days bro trust don’t destroy yourself off of substances for a quick and temporary way to try and ease the struggle keep pushing all love🖤
Same, I relate a lot to this and I also just turned 21 (tho my drug of choice is weed). Just hang it there, it will get better, more people are lonely than we think. For what it’s worth, you’re not alone in your loneliness.
Bro. I can relate to you. From the first to end. I havent met anyone who shares this topic. And it feels good to know that there's someone who I can relate with. Thank you for sharing it. I am just living thinking it will get better.
Thanks so much for posting this! I’ve never been a person so have many friends. I just finished high school and my only friend moved away our senior year and still we have stay in contact but it’s only been like a year since I graduated. Anyways this video made me feel less alone by reading the comments and by what u had to say in this video. Stay blessed.
I’m 28 and I feel like I have people I associate with but not like people I can call on just to talk. So I definitely understand. I’m also an introvert but can be extroverted around the right people.
the balls this guys have are gigantic. Respect for witnessing a current social "problem". Friends aren't nescessery, family and self-confidence is the KEY. 💪❤🔥
Confidence is key, but we are social creatures and friends are needed. I hope you gather yourself a trustful pack as you navigate through life. Someone you can mentor and be mentored by.
ima actually disagree, i think freinds are neccicary, but thir not #1 yanno what i mean? their very important. meaningful connections and to experiance life celibrate happines and struggle thru pain with another human being will just idk it makes life awsome. that said, its not the number one. wich by the way, thank god its not the nuimber one, our society is making it hard to grow freindships, just look at the data, more peopole YOUNG peopol especially feel lonly than EVER BEFORE IN HISTORY. so yeah, we gotta get creative and escape the downward spiral
Friends are definitely necessary. I mean why else would people make video's expressing these feelings? It's not as if this video is a testimonial for succes. Friendships can lead to a more healthy/wealthy life because friendships can often lead to opportunities for jobs, relationships, entertainment, and overall better self-esteem as a consequence of mentioned opportunities. It is a lesson I had to learn myself and I'm glad I pushed myself to reach out to better(!) friends. Cut ties with your bullshit friends, those who f*ck with you, take too many dr*gs, those that space out into fantasies to much, and those that stab you in the back. People attach too much meaning to the word "friend". A friend does not have to be "your life-time" buddy and knows áll your insights... I met someone on a vacation who I will probably never see again, but we clicked so well, I will not hesitate to confidently call that person my friend. If you f*ck up with me, your not my friend anymore... So what I learned is that the word friendship is way more fluid, fragile and short-termed than I thought before. Don't raise the bar so high, or else friendships will always be this unreachable deep battle. BTW, the dude in the video seems super chill! I think I could definitely vibe with him.
I haven't watched the video, but I want to say having friends is a very good thing. Have 1-3 very close friends that will do anything for you and you will do the same for them.
Damn bro, I also struggle to make new friends this video felt rly good to hear someone else feel the same way. Hope you’ve found some friends bro u seem like a rly chill person
Bro I am 23 and I feel that way too. Especially after high school I felt like a lot of friendships fell off and I had nobody. I deleted all my social media 2-3 years ago aside from linkedin and youtube to cleanse my mentality and focus on the important things in life. That really showed me who cared or didn't because plenty of people had my number or used to claim we were really good friends but nobody really hmu unless I texted first which is a crappy feeling.
This is true!! Every single one guy or girl only responds to my texts but never start the text first it’s sad to see which is why I stopped texting and I’m 23 just like you. I have a career etc
ya a girl I wentt to school with when I was pregnant w my first baby and came and saw my baby works in the building next to me and we park next to eaxchother and she and I both know.. I messages her twice..she only responded once.. literally was in my car after work the other day saw her walk out we locked eyes.. she acted like she dint know me.. I waved anyway.. still acted like she didnt see me...
Hi Zo, I'm 51 and losing friends is a normal occurrence. I've been betrayed early in my life by friends, so I started keeping folks at a distance. I have levels to people. There are acquaintances but few friends. Having friendships takes work. Sometimes one person gives more to the friendship than the other, but true friendships never die no matter how long your don't talk or distance. Having one quality friend is better than having 20 useless, selfish, narcissistic acquaintances. Be a good person always. You'll attract what you are inside eventually, but you'll definitely kiss a bunch of frogs along the way. Bless you for sharing your story. I don't believe we put here to be alone. Finding good people to do life with is hard, but don't give up.
My advice is, work hard, and do great things, and become friends with others who are also grinding, it happens when you are grinding, for example, When I started leveling up in my gym and training, i started gaining more friends, (not alot ) but a good few quality, 1 by one over time, because I guess when you are healthy you attract other hustlers to be friends. the same thing with other areas in life. Family relationships signinficantly improve when you take care of your addictions and just live the life you are suppose to live, even if it's hard.
Bro I ain’t had friends in so many years. But I love you for exactly what you are and you are enough, and I believe in you. Sometimes we just got to walk our own way, I relate to everything you’re saying but stuck to the light
Just thought I’d come say something because your story really struck a cord with me. I hope you find your path and some solid friends along the way because you seem to be a solid dude yourself. Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing.
I relate to this so much. I’m 28 turning 29 in January and I have no friends. Once I stopped partying and going out as much everything died down. Focusing on yourself and self care is truly a lonely journey. Thank you for expressing your feelings ❤
Bs, youre normalising the human engineering that the powerful are trying to create, you know theres something wrong, when you feel lonely its an indicator and reflection of how society is being shaped
Same!! 28 to 29 I met a couple people that changed my life and made me realize that I didn’t have friends, I just had opportunist and bad influences in my life. Now I have been alone for 2 years and it has been so amazing and yet so lonely. I really wish I had done this when I was younger, but better late than never I guess. I will never forget those people that genually cared for me and not what I had to offer them.
When you start paying attention to people's eyes.. its crazy the vast amount of us actually have 'depression' in our eyes.. from youngens to even olders...
@@YoungTCash been there.. well i stopped looking into the mirror, broke it with a punch lol.. get some sunlight vitamins and magnesium supplements do help too, a lot .. do someyhibg fun with other people.. and maybe the gym could help too.. i did that for a while, got tired of it but it helps too.. just go out there and be you. The reflection in the mirrior don't define you brother.
You're not alone!!! I definitely can relate. To be perfectly honest I just gaven up on it all now, try my best not to think about it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I get on with lots of people that I come across on a daily basis. I tried to keep myself busy by running my charity on Thursday which filled any void and which given me some comfort. I think Lord made it like this for me. So, that I could focus more on him. To show me where my focus should be. So if I get friendships I'll probably know how to appreciate it.
I’m sorry you feel the way you do brotha. Be happy you felt confident to be able to express your thoughts. I’m a 27yo black man from the city and when I came to the same moment you have now, I looked to icons of the past for the answers to how I felt. I highly encourage to rediscover your roots my man. Whatever is you feel you can change, just know you always have the power to change your circumstances. Research our iconic ancestors like MLK, Malcolm X, Huey Newton etc. Read their stories and you might relate to them and don’t be afraid to wonder. Free thinking brotha and peace be upon you.
My life peaked like 2 years ago - I had many good friends, spoke and played games with them every day. I had a girlfriend. I had a good job with a cool boss. Worked out, got slim. Got a nice haircut, clothes, fragrance etc. It was the best time of my life, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Then it all started to go to shit, my job changed, friends started disappearing one by one because of things in their lives, and even though I was always there for them, it turned out they were never there for me. I eventually broke up with my gf. Got fat again. Stopped caring about my looks. Have a job that I hate. And my life is just miserable. I can't even speak with anyone. I have literally no one. I never had many friends, but I never had ZERO friends. But at least I have a youtube comment section, where no one will ever read my comment, but at least I can rant and let off some steam. Life just sucks. What's the point of it if you don't even have anyone to care about.
Just know that a stranger on the opposite side of the world is feeling like you do. No friends, no job, no partner, no life direction. At least it hurts a little less when the pain is shared. We’ll go through this hopefully.
I'm 30 and I have no friends. As I've grown and matured my standards for who I want in my life have tightened to the point where nobody's left. I don't tolerate phony people any longer. I would encourage anybody to break off their half ass friends. If any of your "friends" talk to you, and treat you in a way you wouldn't treat them. They're not your friend. Some of us are too compassionate and need to realize that compassion is wasted on some people. Took me a long time to realize that. Because there isn't a strong character and integrity behind it, all the fake love they claim to have for you doesn't mean shit.
I can really relate. I will be 25 in december and as most people in the comments here i also dont have friends nor a gf and it doesnt bother me. I ended my friendship with last group of people i knew 2 weeks ago it was a guy i met in school when i moved to a new country 6 or 7 years ago and when i moved back to this country in January he introduced me to his gf and one more girl from their school and 2 weeks ago we all were about to move to a new apartment they found. Me and that dude were talking about start making music together because sometimes i make EDM music as a hobby and im still learning always searching for videos about music but idk what snapped in me and one day i texted that i will not be moving in with them and i kinda dont want to be associated with them anymore and mainly its because they dont do anything they just pretty much go to university and smoke weed all day and he never tried to even make music all he does is just saying if we need to make music get rich but never does anything. So i can really relate when i started to mature and have standarts the circle became very very small.
Friends and family I can loose them all and not feel anything except for my mom Now a dog you can never replace a dog Dos is better than any family or friend
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home!thanksdoc
Good Stuff Lil Broski !!! I love your energy and humble nature! You gon do this world good and I appreciate you. I was you about 15 yrs ago! Love you God!!❤
Yes exactly I am grateful that I have good parents to talk to and hang out with but not everyone has that but family does not have to be blood related family are people who would be there for you when nobody is there.
Come unto me, all ye that Labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
@@ayoolukoga9829Please delete this, you are offending my beliefs with this comment, not everyone has the same beliefs as you, it's not fair to those with different beliefs to have this shoved in their face everywhere they go, you should really try to be more considerate of others..
I’m 26, being totally alone is starting to feel like the new normal. I have been disrespected by family, friends, girlfriends multiple times and I’m realizing that my life is less stressful alone. Would I like to have a family, friends, and a girlfriend I could thoroughly enjoy being around? Of course.. but I haven’t had that once in my life and I don’t know if I will ever have all 3, or even 2 of those things.
You aren't alone because God is Alive and Truly with you. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 🙏✝❤❤❤🙌🕊
Yes me too it’s just the disrespect I can’t take ! I’m way happier alone . Of course no one wants it this way but people come with so much now in days it’s like you have to pick your poison
I feel the same at 30 sometimes. My brother is 21 and dealing with the same. You are not alone. Thanks for sharing, you have a lot of courage and transparency
Girl same and it feels nice to know as a black woman that other black people are going through the same thing as me. Being alone isn't the issue. It's loneliness that's the issue. Anyone can feel at peace being alone. 24 here and seeing other melaninated folks talk about these things means a lot to me.
I'm 33. I have "friends", but I don't fit-in with them anymore. The things we used to bond over do not excite me anymore. I'm more focused on my walk with God while my friends love worldly things. I'm learning to accept it. I do have family. I have a husband. I have children. I have loving parents. I have a brother. I also have coworkers that I hang with from time to time. I become depressed sometimes because I'm not as close as I used to be with my childhood friends, but I just have to let go and let God. 🙏🏽
I wonder if we have the wrong expectations for what it means to have friends in adulthood. I am in a similar situation as you, except I do not work right now and so I don't have coworkers to hang out with. I am 36 and I am learning that I still have enjoyment of life with my hubby and family even though I no longer have the close bond that you find with childhood friends. Maybe this is just the nature of growing up and maybe if I change my expectations, I can get even more enjoyment out of a life of loneliness @@thebibleisrightperiod
Tbh i think as long as you have hobbies especially if they get you outside and you have self confidence being a loner feels like the most freeing thing ever. You can go into almost any social setting and just feel comfortable being yourself and people actually gravitate towards that confidence and sense of calmness.
Bud you gotta be the most patient person I've heard speak on their experience with hearing that word. It shows me how much you may have wanted that friendship to work out, but you ultimately made the best decision for yourself because they clearly weren't respecting your feelings, and didn't treat you like a person equal to themselves. One of my pet peeves is when a person is hurting, they convert that hurt into pain they inflict on other people. You seem to have the opposite thing going on, where you may be hurting but you still give people grace. That is a massive burden to bear but you got your head on straight man, this is the way to be. Patience will pay off for you in the end. I thought I had burned all my bridges at 23 and moved away from home, friendless and burying myself in my new career. I was poison to my friends, and I was reminded I was in the wrong by the burning in my chest everytime I thought about them. It all comes around man, I promise you. At 25/26 I entered a new job in a new city and met the most beautiful group of like-minded friends I still hold onto to this day, even though we live far apart now. If you keep searching, you WILL find your clique I promise you.
I appreciate your honesty and bravery as a young Black Man in presenting us with your life. I know it had to be difficult considering the western world has continuousy discounted our experiences and feeling. Having "friends" unfortunately can be a blessing and a curse depending on your perspective. In time you may find individuals who will willing share parts of your journey with you and have good intentions.
I'm 30 and I feel the same. My guesses are: 1 - We've matured and learned that not everyone was a "friend", we just happen to be around each other for long periods of time. 2 - Work really consumes people. Social life takes a toll when after graduation, going out stops being fun when you are constantly tired. 3 - Social media has people only texting. We barely have real face to face humans interactions like our parents did. Lastly, society has changed so much. When I was a kid my little town used to be fun, regular parties and events happening throughout the year, there was always something to look forward to where you'd meet people and socialize. The last time there was something like that I was like 15, now not a single celebration type of thing ever happens. The fun town I remember is no more.
Honestly this is what comes with getting older; friendships become something you've gotta put a lot more effort in than when you were in school and was pretty much "forced" into a closed environment with the same people everyday. With life's responsibilities and just general adulting, it becomes harder to maintain them.
On my soul bro. If you not in high school or college its very hard to maintain friendships especially since most friends either get locked up or are raising a family.
I used to care too much about having friends especially a best friend, but as I got older I got more comfortable with being alone. And I actually don’t mind it because it’s better that way. I’ve had bad experiences with people, some with hidden agendas, some moved away and my best friend in high school passed away from lupus. Ever since then I just stopped caring, I only have 1 good friend and my sister. That’s all I need
I’m 17, and I too am dealing with the same thing too. I know people say my moment will come or I just have to wait. But it doesn’t feel like that. I seriously thank you for being a person that is so vulnerable on such a toxic platform. ❤❤
@@novus1589 I’m sad but glad In a sense that we can have a better understanding and mindset on this type of situation. All my love goes out to all of us having to deal with this ❤️
You’re still young bro you’re in school, just do your best to socialize, never be awkward, ask questions and start conversation off of it, be friendly but not too nice, make sure you reciprocate energy in the right way
I’m 24, I feel you bro. We are in that time where everyone is far too focused on themselves, money, and getting attention. The best thing you can do is be a good man, and seek out others who are trying to be the same. You can find guys like this at the gym, jiu jitsu/martial arts classes, church, and some other passion-focused groups that you could join. You are not alone man, just look at these comments. I promise you are gonna be just fine, God bless.
I’m also 24 and am in the same boat. Sadly I’ve tried joining hobbies/clubs but it seems like no one else is really looking for friendships anymore 😔 Guess I’ll keep trying…
Hi, when growing in your new chapter in life it’s time to tune out the distractions and focus on you and what you want! When u grow apart from friendships it just means your growing apart from those old foolish ways. God bless you
I know this feeling. It's a natural part of life. It hurts, and it can feel like it's your fault. It's not. This moment shows you who you really are, and it pushes you to reach out to new people and expand the box you built in high school. I know it felt like your friends were going to be around forever but sometimes friendships end and change, it's part of life. Get out there, find the people you want to surround yourself with. Good luck bro.
If you ever read this, please know that as we get older, the stakes in life get higher, and a good friend becomes a lot more nuanced. They're not just people you enjoy being around, but have to be someone who respects you, will stick up for you, and never put you in danger/harms way. It's a good thing you've ditched the people that can't live up to this. You will meet new people who can, and they will be closer to you than any of your previous friends. Trust me (in my 30s).
I've made mistakes and said things that really stuck with my friend and we talked about it and I still didn't understand fully why he felt the way he did about what I said l. Now looking back at it I understand more deeply how he felt and I realized I'm in no position to ask for his forgiveness but I want to talk once more and express my apologies and new mindset towards this issue. Idk if its even possible
I’m 26 haven’t had “friends” since after high school, I was always a loner. I use to think something was wrong with me but I’ve come to accept I’m just the way I am. But I’m never alone since I have 8 younger siblings. Lucky for me because if I was the only child I’d probably have a different mentality.
Family is always more important than anything. I have one close friend that I’ve manage to have left in my 20s and we talk about how we don’t talk to anyone anymore except each other. Everyone just moved on in their life or we just knew moving forward that there is certain people we couldn’t take on in life, when we’re both busy we have our families to and we both talk about the importance of having that bond with a family that will always be there for you.
I’m 24 turning 25 in 2 weeks same for me. I jux stay to myself . I always been like that ever since a kid and in school . I’m not the person to go out in party or anything I jux work and make money . And on free time play videos and I’m cool with that to be honest .
Your perspective is completely understandable & relatable. It may feel odd being in your early 20s feeling as though you are missing out but, you aren't. Don't change & keep hope. Anything that has dwindled wasn't meant for you.
Big shout out to you to speak bout ur feeling this aint easy and u r doing it great! Keep going fam u r killing it and im sure that someone will either like u as a friend or a woman will love u frl. Keep your head up ❤🫡
so relatable, i've been on my own since my college days, and now at 24 i've noticed that as i've grown older, my circle of friends has significantly changed. i had friends from high school, but honestly, i never found much comfort being around them. letting go of these friendships was a decision i made, but it's difficult because of how crucial and unhealthy loneliness can be
But man there is so much other things to life. For me personally I’m 21 right now and I slowly drifted away from all my friends from highschool. But it didn’t brother me or make me feel any typa way. My biggest concern now is what do I want to do with my life what am I going to do for a career. Cause at the end of the day nobody is going to be there for you when ur trying to earn money or make a living, or when your trying to find ur career path. Once you got all that figured out, if u still have no friends then start focusing on that. But for me personally friends are the last thing that is on my mind. I’m a lone wolf type. I’m not seeking friendships.
This comment is SO FUCKING RELATABLE. I'm in college currently but I've actively decided on breaking away with the bonds I didn't feel comfortable with. At this point of my life I currently have a friend who I consider to be my best. Nth else really. Everyone else is just surface level
Hey man, I want to let you know that things are going to workout. Keep working on yourself, live a good life, be a good man. I'm 26 and will be 27 end of this year. When I turned 25, I felt the same as you do. I didn't celebrate my birthday, didn't have a girlfriend and didn't have any super close friends. Just 18 months later, and I couldn't be happier. Established some real relationships with people and also found the love of my life. Hit me up when you wanna talk man. Trust me, just 18 months ago I could have done this kind of video as well.
@@kulolal Hey man, i'll be glad to share my story with you. I was always self-conscious about my body, being fat/overweight basically 90% of the time. About 4 years ago I was at my worst, I felt the ugliest, was the most overweight, quit University after 2 years because it was too hard and had to change to another University. Not much changed immediately after that, but in 2021 during Covid, I really went down a rabbit hole of self-improvement. At that point, I did not really have any close friends, I barely went out or even got invited. The past 2 years I have been fully focusing on grinding, improving myself and my mindset and becoming who I truly am. This meant a lot of isolation, which sometimes made me feel depressed - but I know I was doing something good for myself and that at the worst case at the end of this self-improvement journey - I'll have a better mindset, better physique and more confidence and love for myself. Becoming my authentic self meant that I began approaching people with a newfound sense of character, a quality I had lacked in the past - I actually felt like I had no character at all. Nowadays if we talked, you would probably not forget me very easily and see me as "that" guy. Approaching people with my now more refined and defined character meant that I now would only make friends who I liked and who also liked me for my now more outspoken and direct personality. I don't have tons of friends - I don't care about that - but I have 2-3 very close friends who I spend a lot of time with working, going to the gym etc. The essence of this may sound clichéd and unremarkable, but its truth remains undeniable - work on your fucking self. Find out who you are, what you are. Improve your mentality. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Look clean. Behave like a good man. Dress well. Speak slower and more confident. Look people in the eyes. Walk around with your chest up and shoulders back. Be thankful to God. TRUST ME - it adds up. I had no relationship before recently at the age of 26 - and now I have found the love of my life. Life is undeniably good-perhaps almost too good right now for me. However, I remain mentally prepared to embrace the lessons that Life and God may still have in store for me. Whatever you do - live a good life. Become a good man. Respect everyone - but most importantly - RESPECT YOURSELF. I kept this story short, a lot of details are obviously missing, but I hope you get the idea.
Going off OP, every time I isolate myself it takes a lot of time and effort to start reaching out to people again. Small baby steps, like remembering how to even just have conversations by tiny small talk with one person at the store counter or a dog walker etc. Stuff like looking up one or two of your hobbies or potential interests (anything!) and try to start slowly going to groups and testing it out. It’s awkward and draining at first but bit by bit you get into the swing of things. Initiating things with people who you’ve fallen out of touch with! Ultimately, isolation is torture for humans (that’s why solitary confinement in jail is such a punishment). Isolation severs our connections and makes us bitter, and while that hurt can be in response to genuinely hurtful things a lot of that times, isolation BLINDS us over time, and makes us more and more bitter as time goes on. Slow progress to undo the patterns of behaviour that enable further loneliness helps to undo
Don’t worry, your very handsome man. I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficulty. Trust me man, you aren’t the only young man going through this. A lot of us Adults are going through this friendship recession in the West. Western countries are feeling and succumbing to loneliness, we are just going through a friendless epidemic and it is feeling so worse everyday. A lot of Americans in this country of 365.7 million are feeling so lonely, we in the United States are going through a loneliness epidemic crisis. A lot of American adults nationwide in the U.S are feeling very isolated and very anxious. My heart goes out to man, I’m really sorry that you are going through this. I just want to let you, that you are not alone in this loneliness epidemic. ❤️❤️
I’m 28 now and I met 3 of my closest friends at 24 & 26. I got burned in the process by going too far and being a social butterfly but once I realized i dialed it back and have only spent time with people who don’t make me uncomfortable. Don’t close yourself off, don’t walk around thinking that it’s too late. It’s not
Jesus is the only way to heaven Being a good person won’t get you there. “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6 ESV Repent from your sin(disobedience to God) and turn to God and follow Him so that you will be saved “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 ESV “No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” Luke 13:3 ESV;)
@@feetyeet8538 Hey what does Jesus say about this Bible verse? Exodus 21: 7-11 "When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again."
Of course. I know logically physical aloneness ≠ separation from one’s spirit, we can see this looking at incarcerated people who manage to maintain a sense of connection in prison communities. Inmates who feel their role is *necessary* to the maintenance and wellbeing of their prison ward are more likely to gain employment post incarceration //have decreased time in solitary confinement (I made that stat up-makes sense to me!!!)
But do you see how backwards this is? Yes, you don’t feel alone bc everyone is going through the same thing, but it doesn’t quench the loneliness or solve the problem by simply acknowledging this. You’re not really “connected”, you’re just going through the same tough times, being isolated from everyone. That doesn’t add any salve to an already lonely, hurting heart.
Sounds like cope, the truth is actually worse, we were meant to live in small groups or communities society is human engineering and its not good for the individual
Its alright dude, at that age most people are focused on the grind and creating their own family and saving for a house, going to college for a career or profession. We all branch out and start creating our own destiny in life and make our footprint on this earth. Its not you man we are all just growing up and learning how this crazy world works and if we all hangout all the time there would be no time to focus on what's really going on in the world and making a name for ourselves, If you're really friends you'll re connect when you're a little older and have your own house and a steady job and kids and all that good stuff. I'm 31 and I am currently going through the exact same thing you are and all the friends I had and disappeared are slowwwwwly coming back and some don't come back at all which is completely fine. JUST FOCUS ON YOU!! YOU GOT THIS!!!
I’m sorry you feel this way bro, I’m socially awkward as well, my best tip is to deal with awkwardness is to articulate clearly and calmly, when you have a calm energy while conversing people enjoy this, it also gives room to put jokes “fun” in, you don’t have to have good jokes to be fun, you’ll have to just communicate in a non awkward way, which requires some trail and error, as long as you’re aware of this, and improve your speaking, helped me a lot!
