'I'm Not Like Other Girls' in Young Adult books 

we are literally forgetting about the STRONGESt and most feminine female character out there: barbie

Ok so we’re talking about strong feminine female characters, but how come no ones talking about Elle Woods??!? (Legally Blonde) she is EXTREMELY feminine, and considered a dumb blonde, but puts her mind to getting in to Harvard law, AND SHE DOES. And she gets over her ex, and actually becomes friends with her ex’s ex instead of be coming her enemy just because she is also his ex.

"You're expected to be beautiful, you're not supposed to try." Oh, man. THAT. Is the truth.

I can't remember Katniss being mean to other "traditional feminine" girls, she was all the time brooding and thinking about "Why am I caught up in this mess?" Hahaha. She was too busy thinking about survival, there wasn't really a moment for her to be feminine since she needed to survive.

“If you read books...you’ll become a brunette” 😂😂

The first time I read The Vampire Diaries I was shocked to see that the main character was actually the most popular girl in school, had very strong female friendships, and had a good relationship with her ex. I was shooketh.

I think one of the saddest things about this trope is that the author never lets the less feminine character be friends with a more feminine character. They’re always enemies. This really bothers and bothered me because I’m less feminine and I still get along so well with more feminine girls my age. The more feminine one is always snappy, high maintenance, and easily jealous. The less feminine one is distanced, doesn’t scare about others opinions, and just “accidentally ends up the center of attention.” All the feminine girls I’ve known are so kind, welcoming, and compassionate. They’re honestly so amazing and wonderful and I’m glad to call them my friends. Plus they make the less feminine character so devoid of emotion which ticks me off because emotion isn’t bad. Emotions are what make us connected with one another. The characters that are more feminine are usually my favs in movies and books because they’re so aware of how they feel and aren’t afraid of showing how they feel.

Girls: "Can I put on makeup" Society: "No! You have to be natural! Makeup is false advertisement!" Girls: "Can I have surgery to my nose/lips/breast/tummy/etc" Society: "No way! Surgery is only for fake and shallow airheads! Why can't you just be natural" Girls: *totally natural* Society: "NO NOT LIKE THAT"

The problem with "I'm not like other girls" stereotype is that it ignores the fact that NONE OF THE GIRLS ARE LIKE OTHER GIRLS. We are all different from each other, we are all full of contradictions! For example, I dress girly, but I like traditional male careers and I don't like to decor🤡 Not everything is feminine or "masculine" about me. Humas are contradictive. I might seem extroverted, but I enjoy my alone time. I look like I have tons of friends,but my inner circle is actually small. I listen to heavy metal sometimes...other times I listen to kpop like BLACKPINK, all Taylor Swift album and I love classical music...like wtf? I'm pretty sure everyone has a side that no one sees and that is quite peculiar See? Girls are complex and I'd like to see a book portraying a character like this

An AWESOMe example of great female characters are Katara and Toph, really. Katara was very much a girl, and Toph was quite tomboyish. I loved the scene where Katara gets Toph to do a makeover, and she actually ends up liking it. I loved their friendship! Seriously, almost all ATLA characters were so well written, both boys and girls. Azula was a strong character- even if she's in no way a role model.

I realized over quarantine how many Disney shows include the shallow, hyper feminine character you described...and treat her exactly as you described. A rival, a punch line, etc.

I think with Katniss it’s a whole other story. She rejects vanity, which might be mistaken for a feminine thing. I guess she’s „not like other girls” but not to appeal to men, she just doesn’t have time to do traditionally feminine things and/or doesn’t really care about them, which is not a bad thing.

Rose Hathaway from Vampire Academy was one of the first protagonist that enjoyed girly things while also being a strong female character 💕

I just watched Twilight recently and was struck by how rude she was to the other girls for literally no reason. They were being so nice and trying to invite her to do things with them, and she straight up acted like they were beneath her. 😅

I’ve had family members get surprised because I read books and wear makeup. Did they think that putting on makeup would make me stop reading or something?

I love it how inej smashes this concept in crooked kingdom

As a teenage girl (17) who does her best to just mind her own business and let everybody do what her makes them happy, it’s STILL very difficult to not feel that judgment towards things that are considered “basic” or even on the other side “quirky”. I get insecure talking about books because I don’t wanna seem like I’m trying too hard but I also get insecure liking popular music cause it’s “basic”. I love a good strong female character and to this day I relate to Katniss Everdeen specifically on an EXTREME level but yet I find it so difficult to find my own unique identity cause it’s so hard to not be judged by various specific stereotypes :/

Okay but the makeover in the hunger games is completely different, it is there to show how people of capitol don't see tributes as people, to show the contrast between the glamour of the whole show that almost made you forget that those people couldnt wait to see the children they cheered on die

Literally the epitome of contradiction: I often see boys complaing about girl and saying things like "I want a girlfriend that don't care for eating in cheap places" and that is because they refuse to let girls pay, "i want a girlfriend that don't care for makeup or her body" but they expect girls being naturally perfect, pretty and wit no fat, "i want a girlfriend that is like a boy" but she needs to be very feminine...

I agree with basically everything you said. BUT Katniss isn't like the other girls mentioned in the video ;) Because yes she had the makeover scene, but it was to show how shallow the society around her was and how they were "fixing" her to fit into those beauty standards. I think it was to show how the capitol focused on materialism. And yes she said things like "The other girls" but I feel like it was more to show her trauma and how she can't focus on regular everyday things anymore and how much her life has changed. I also think that she combined typically masculine qualities with typically feminine qualities. Yes, she fights and is brave (which honestly isn't even a typically masculine quality) but she shows compassion and she is a family person and she is kind. I think she embodies a lot of great character traits without putting a gender on it. And yes she had two boys simping over her, but I am still a strong believer that it was never about which boy she was going to choose but what they stood for (Whilst Peeta was Peace and Kindness, Gale was War and violence) and obviously, she chooses Peeta because the entire story was about finding peace in a corrupt society. Sorry for this long comment just thought I put it out there because I think this book is often dismissed as typical ya.

Honestly, this trope has been problematic from the very start, and I have first hand experience of the effect it has on girls. Sure, it's great to have a strong female character, but must she be stripped of all feminity in order for her to be that? Because this trope inherently classifies being "girly" as being weak and dramatic, which is not only false to the core, but also stereotypical and sexist. In fact, I don't think there is any need whatsoever to categorise women on the basis of the type of clothes they like, or what they talk about. We need to get over the idea of "girly" and "tomboyish" girls and just let women be who they are. No one should be compelled to behave a certain way because that's what people expect from them based on their appearance. Listen up ladies, YOU can wear jeans or dresses, heels or boots, have it be different every day...and still be a kickass girl/woman.

Still today, people stare at me when I am somewhere dressed up in high heels etc. while reading in my book. They think it is unusual that this „Blondie“ is intelligent and not ONLY interested in fashion and makeup. We need to change that ladies.

I get over protective of katniss because when I read hunger games I relate to her character so much because she was the provider and has actually experienced how to live having less.

Just a handful of the reasons why I love Legally Blonde

I actually re-read The Hunger Games for a university project, and Katniss was less "pick me" than I originally thought. I was expecting her to completely reject her feminine qualities, but when reading it, I didn't quite see that. The quote you included was quite "i'm not like other girls", but I believe there were only a few of those quotes. Besides, if you think about it, she's criticising classism - not wanting to talk about consumerist goods, such as clothes, probably stems from her austere upbringing.

Hunger games is genuinely an amazing political commentary and Katniss is a super complex character, other YA books tried to replicate it but ended up making characters who were not like other girls. Katniss is not a dismissal of femininity, she's a political pawn just trying to survive, her entire characterization makes sense, other ya books could never. Her comment that Madge and me are not like other girls is more a commentary on her own poverty and role as caregiver. She almost looks at them with a sort of subconscious envy which makes sense.

America singer is the definition of “I’m not like other girls”

I’m currently reading a court of thorns and roses and five pages in, I said “Feyre’s not like other girls. She hunts and wears pants.” It’s literally such a trope but whatever.

this whole "not like other girls" era really made me insecure about my figure. I grew up with all boys as a product of my parents divorce so I was a tomboy and loved it but eventually It just morphed into having a superiority complex because I "wasn't like other girls" I had guy friends, I was tough, etc. I would pride myself in being this way, and seem proud on the outside but as I hit puberty I got a more femenine figure and had more curves. I HATED it. This whole idea was the cause for major insecurities I had thought middle school.

"Damsels in distress with no agency who only cared about boys" you can say Bella from Twilight it's okay

I LOVE ALICE. (From Twilight) She is feminine, loves loves loves shopping and clothes, but is also SUPER powerful and can stand her own. (Obviously a lot of that is the whole being a vampire thing but its still good)

"Dear Netflix, We don't want strong female characters, we want strong characters that happen to be a female" - somebody I don't remember lmao sorry

I think that a lot of authors of these books project themselves into these characters. Like, I feel like a lot of authors were jealous of the 'girly girls' in high school or still are and try to create a reality in which a girl (aka a projected version of themselves) is loved and liked and admired without having to fit society standards. Like, it's so weird that Bella gets all the boys to fall for her, when she's plain and not whats usually wanted in society. And that's the case with so many YA protagonists. So I kinda feel like lots of authors just created like an 'alternative reality' type of thing where they would have all they want without having to change for it.

I like that with Zoya, we see a bigger depth to her after the first book. She doesn't change her personality much, just her rivalry with Alina, but she ends up being many readers' favourite even if she is like the "other girls".

I see Katniss quite a bit differently than you do. I kinda agree that Katniss falls into the strong in a stereotypically masculine way trope, but that's about it. Katniss had no interest in clothes or gossip, but she didn't have an interest in anything that wasn't tied to providing for her family. She seemed to be almost afraid to. She also struggled to relate to other people her age because she had to grow up so fast. I suppose she was introverted, but she never thought badly of traditionally feminine girls. As a matter of fact, her sister who she loved more than anything, was very much a stereotypically feminine girl who loved dresses and was too tenderhearted to hunt, but was much stronger than Katniss could ever be when it came to helping her mother heal and care for her community. Katniss thought very highly of her little sister Prim and her strength in being able to wear her heart on her sleeve, and Prims ability to help their mother heal people. Katniss also never had a negative thought about Delly Cartwright who was gentle, trusting, and saw the best in everyone. Edit: Grammar and some added comma's.

Alina and Katniss din't really have time to care about their appearance and fashion. Katniss lived a miserable life and was going through an incredibly traumatic experience, it's kind of understandable that she didn't feel like cracking a joke. Alina had to save an entire country and was incredibly stressed throughout the books, she and Katniss had other things going on. They weren't trying to hold themselves higher than other women or different or quirky, it just wasn't anywhere near their main priorities. Alina even makes peace with Zoya after the way she treated her in the first book.

Recently I read Crescent city by Sarah J Maas and the main character is into makeup and fashion and loves to party and all this and she’s said something about being like that doesn’t make her less strong or independient. I was impressed when I read it and I think it’s one of my fav characters now

Loved this!!! I never thought about it before with the “beauty” part that girls always need this makeover to get together with the guy and the guy just gets together with the pretty girl in the end anyway. That’s messed up.

I don't think Katniss ever made other girls who dressed up and were more feminine feel inferior. She even had a friend named Mage who did dress up but Katniss never spoke ill of her. She did what she had to in order to survive and clothes were the last thing on he mind if she didn't even have food. Under different circumstances, whether she liked dressing up or not, that's completely fine as long as she didn't undermine those who did.

the only girly main character i have seen so far is buffy from "buffy the vampire slayer". it is a pretty old show but it is great. the main character, buffy, is very girly but at the same time she fights vampires and demons. the thing she complains about after fighting and killing a vampire is breaking her nail. it was really interesting watching that scene. it made me laugh and it attached me to buffy even more.

I'm losing it at the photo comparisons of the not like other girls and their counterpart rivals...they literally look like the same person

Interesting inversion of “Not like Other girls” I found in the soundtrack for Mulan II. These princesses sing a song about how they want to be like other girls, and talked about how they didn’t want to be prim and proper all the time. They said they wanted chances to be silly, playful, or crass. So that implies that they weren’t like other girls by being traditionally feminine.

The femininity contradiction is soo real! As someone who has always felt disconnected from my assigned gender, I wore a lot of pink clothes and had a lot of pink things when I was younger because that was what society expected "girls" to like... but then I was bullied for it and I was soooo confused and started having more blue things because it's not pink and then people thought I was trying too hard and it's just really tiring.

Thank you !! I just finished the Selection original serie, and the “not like other girls” feeling is SO overpowering in there ! The main character is just awful to every other woman, except for women who are overly admiring of her... it really scared me, considering the message we’re sending to young girls. Thanks for the video ! Also, where is your standing lamp from ? I really like it :)

this is such an intelligent video! i was worried that it would be just “the not like other girls trope is bad” - which isn’t a bad take necessarily, i just find that those critiques sometimes ironically come off as misogynistic themselves. your critique was so insightful and i really appreciate the effort you put into it!

Honestly this is why I loved that episode where Katara and Toph had that spy treatment. Toph is made as the tough girl, who's messy, tough, doesn't like being emotional, and rude. And people generally like her more, especially the boys. Because she has so many traditionally masculine traits. Having that episode, where she puts on makeup, and LIKES IT? That was a very good message, to boys who only like masculine girls and to girls who are forced to believe being feminine is inferior

THE ONLY popular example of this i can get over is Tris in divergent... because SURE she represent this "i'm ugly, i don't have a lot of friends and never had a boyfriend" but like... its kind of normal because she was raised to be selfless? and once she is free of that she finally start to discover herself and her own worth... but i really can't with most classical "ohhh i'm so unique and nobody understands me boohoo"

I don't think Katniss Everdeen is "not like the other girls " . She just has to be different , which doesn't mean she is masculine . She has no other choice but to shed that i-m-just-a-child attitude ,if it was ever there , and go ravening into the woods . She has mouths to fill afterall . And she never tried to humiliate the girls who are girly. Love katniss. She is perfect

I remember reading Korean romance novels when I was young teen (Twighlight came out later when I was in high-school) and it's the exact same pattern of set ups, and when I talked to my mon she had her own era of these stories while her's would have more "feminine ideal pure innocent and cries a lot" main character, mine would have "nerdy quirky I don't need men I'm smart and independent" female lead who would at some point took her glasses off and became pretty. With all those reading experience I could just straight up guess how the character dynamics/ plot go when I eventually got to Western YA books. It's so interesting too see how it's pretty consistent across time and even cultures.

I was just jealous of other girls. I didn’t like them because I thought I could never be like them. They were “effortlessly” skinny, I was fat (I didn’t eat right or exercise so that was my fault but I didn’t want to admit it) They worn makeup, I didn’t like makeup. They worn beautiful clothes, I wore baggy clothes because I hated the way I looked. They were bubbly and nice, I was grumpy and depressed. They hung out with friends, I played video by myself. I wanted to be happy like them but I wasn’t willing to do the things they did to become happy. Like asking my friends to hangout (I had a fear of rejection), or putting more effort into my appearance (if you hate yourself you don’t take care of yourself), or eating healthier and exercising so I would physically feel better. I am married now with a daughter and I hope I am able to help her through those awkward teen years so she doesn’t live in her own bubble of misery like I did.

Most girls by Hailee Steinfeld really was the slap I needed to snap out of my stupid thinking. Btw loved the video

I one of the reasons I always loved TMI is because of Isabelle and Clary’s relationship. Neither one of them is used to being around other girls, and they’re at an age where society tells them they are competitors. But they get over their jealousy and insecurity pretty early in the series and become sisters. In a way, neither of them is the stereotype you believed in the beginning and they compliment each other because of it. Yes, Clary isn’t outwardly feminine, but she’s emotional vulnerable and generous in a way that society tells us is feminine. Isabelle is the opposite. She’s outwardly feminine, but she’s emotionally unavailable and untrusting which is stereotypically masculine. Izzy actually uses her beauty almost like a weapon to protect herself. I always thought that nuance was important and not in enough of these type of stories.

'Wanting [a boyfriend] is side character material' --so accurate! But replace with anything really requiring vulnerability and ambition...

I feel like Midnight Sun did an amazing job of making me like Bella more as a character, where twilight made her into this trope tbh

In defense of Katniss, her fitting into other people is not the focus of the plot. Whether or not she's masculine or feminine doesn't matter in her character.

As a geeky dad, I've been looking for positive things to give my daughter to read. I got her into fantasy with Zelda games from like 4 years old onward, and now that she's 10, we've read the first 4 Harry Potter books. And there will be no Twilight in our house til she has the wisdom to recognize toxic relationships. XP Our main form of entertainment is D&D, which I think is the ultimate form of escapism and fantasy entertainment. It allows her to freely express herself and experiment with different ideas and conversations and choices, and it allows me (as the DM) to toss up all sorts of unique scenarios and learning opportunities in a healthy, extremely fun way. But when it comes to young adult novels... blah, all the good ones I know of are written by men, starring teenage boys. What does anyone suggest for a female protagonist-led story series that isn't junk??

I grew up loving makeup, fashion, anime, manga, and comic books. so im both i would say. and i never listened to people that would put me down for not wearing enough makeup and not dressing a certain way that they thought was feminine and i also never listened to people whom put me down for liking anime and Japanese culture. so i just would say "So What?? I like what I like. leave me alone, your opinion doesn't matter." because honestly I could care less about what people think of me. i don't live to please others, live for myself. i love myself.

I loved this so much! I've been thinking a lot about sexism, gender and sexuality as well as heteronormative society. As a very feminine lesbian there are a lot of thoughts about society's perception of women floating about my head 😂 such good analysis of the not like other girls trope! 😊

Just saw this video, and I really love it. I'm writing a PhD thesis on YA tropes, so it was wonderful to listen to something that was really informative but wasn't dry, and was actually argued by a reader rather than someone who still thinks YA ended with Judy Blume :') I'd love love love to see more content like this.

Katniss is not the stereotypical "not like other girls" type, when you really think about it. The world around her can't be compared to ours. She grew up in a world where she couldn't think about her appearance or "shallow" things because 1. she's from a poor district 2. food, beauty and free-time activities were rare and valuable. She learned to hunt from her father at a young age so she could provide for her family, who she cares for and is constantly worried about. At the capital when she experiences "luxury" and has the makeover scene, she is understandably uncomfortable because it's overwhelming. This doesn't mean that she didn't appreciate and enjoy how makeup looked on her, but she just didn't want to use it regularly. She only ever used it at the propaganda ads and the capital tribute shows. To her, she looked pretty but she felt like it hid all the pain and severity of war when she was shown as a perfect saviour and a tool/symbol for district 13 and the Capitol. She didn't want to take part in the games or to be a hero. She wanted her family to be safe and to survive the games in order to do that. She didn't have the luxury to talk about boys or gossip, because every day of her life has been to keep herself and her family alive. Gale was her friend (who she considered as her brother at the beginning) because he would also hunt and they grew up close. Katniss was the oldest child and the only one besides her father to know how to hunt. Gale had younger siblings and had to take care of them too. (I'm supposed to be reading for a test so I couldn't really articulate everything as well as I would've liked, so hope this made some sense)

It’s funny how a lot of people hate “not like other girls” trope but love You belong with me by Taylor Swift 🤔 I love both tho 😂

I grew up liking both stereotypically feminine and masculine things, and I always wondered why there weren’t any characters that were like me. It was always either you were a tomboy and “not like other girls” or you were extremely feminine and liked makeup. It made me feel weird for wanting to be both feminine and masculine, and that I had to pick a side. Also kids in my class making fun of me for still liking “girly” shows like my little pony and powerpuff girls didn’t help

I’d like to think that any characters I write are what “I’m not like other girls” should be defined as… “my parents educated me themselves”, “I was diagnosed with a learning disability of some sort”, “I save looking like my sex for a situation that calls for it” (example: School dance adjacent event, Black tie event, church if you grow up in a religious household, etc. etc.), are your characters human or human adjacent creatures? Let them have their ugly duckling transformation and have them go back to being an ugly duckling in the next scene, the transformation doesn’t and shouldn’t have to be treated as permanent, girls can/should be allowed to be comfortable day in and day out and have situation specific self-imposed dress codes… self-imposed being the key phrase.

Funny though that the characters with trad. masculine characteristics (Alina, etc.) are often a little passive and the traditionally feminine ones are much more extroverted and even aggressive. Just a thought, the not-like-other-girls troupe might be more based on traditional "modest" feminity than we notice. Cool video, by the way, brought me right back to my not-like-other-girls days with the fine vintage memes!

I'm currently reading A Curse so Dark and Lonely and it shows that the not like other girls trope is still going strong in more recent stories. I have made it my mission to tab all the not like other girls moments, which is kind of entertaining: " For a different girl, the best part of this bedroom would be the closet", "Most of the girls won't touch a blade or a bridle and instead gravitate to the finery found withing the lushly outfitted wardrobes" to give a few examples

There was this episode of Boy Meets World where Topanga (smart, hippie girl who's totally not like all the other girls) was all like "I don't care about beauty standards," cuts off half her hair, and instantly regrets it. She then gives herself a makeover (including a professional haircut) and becomes a mean girl. Later she acknowledges that she can still be herself while caring about her looks. It was the first time I've seen a smart girl that cared about how she looked.

Aaannnnd this is why Buffy was my role model as a teenager. Strong and serious at times yet quirky and feminine.

Also the thing where the only girls who ended up with boyfriends usually made me uncomfortable because of how similar it was to people telling me I'd change my mind after i told them i was aromantic and asexual and didn't want to date.

As a thought (and being waaaay too late to this), Western society has tended to both reward and punish women who take on masculine traits. The successful women we hear about in business and politics tend to behave in a more assertive, confident manner, although they are also often expected to dress in a feminine manner, with dresses or skirts as well as blazers, and plenty of makeup. "Strength" is inherently coded in Western society as "masculine".

When I was in high school I had a very femme look. It was my attempt to actually care for my self. Make up and skirts. It kept me on the path to put effort in life. Oh boy was I bashed on by other girls. They assumed my parents were overly protective. That I was suppressed and naïve or stuck up. I barely got that from guys (who didn't really pay much attention to me guess they were too busy with their own issues.) Rites of passage. Learning your place in the world and such. Makes you either conform to everyone's expectations or grow out of the need to please others. Thankfully I ignored it.

What clothes were the girls in District 12 talking about ? 😂 Honestly I can understand why Katniss was judging them, life was super hard so I’d get annoyed too, especially at 16. Now that I’m 22 I understand that it was probably a way for them to « escape » their reality of oppression and poverty. Gotta find joy in the small things

Cool video. Made me think of this song: “Most girls Are strong and brave and beautiful Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable I wanna be like most girls”

I recently read a YA manga, Blue Flag, which had a really good discussion about this topic where the side character is obviously "that girl" and she explains that whatever she does she's always the bad one, she's responsible for her friends breakups because she's too pretty and even when she drastically change her appearance and act like boys everyone's mad at her because it doesn't fit her and she must go back to what she looked like. It was something I never saw in a book espacially in mangas

I love the video!! I think Six of crows is an example of the opposite of nlog, I mean the girls are strong and that's it, or they are a bit more feminine, in Nina's case

I want to write the kind of story where it’s like “Some people would say she wasn’t like the other girls, but in reality, she was just autistic”

I feel Katniss is saved by two factors at least a little. Her disinterest in boys felt very (I suspect accidentally...) demisexual: she only ever felt actual attraction to guys she was already very close to! She also did indeed love the beautiful outfits she was given. She does not DISCUSS fashion, but she does appreciate it. What drove me up the walls about her was how she kept going on about how alone she is in her battles... while she was surrounded by a lot of people who supported her, and went out of her way to help others. I do understand how her worldview came about, but her obliviousness to all the patterns of people supporting and caring for each other all around her was possibly the saddest thing to see her experience,

Another great video! I was definitely effected by the “not like other girls” trope in the early 2010s. I was a preteen at the time and I guess I thought being “not like others girls” or “weird” would make me special lol. I’m 18 now and have luckily grown out of that phase but the YA I read from age 11-14 will always remind me of my cringy era lol-

Honestly the whole not like other girls trope has had such a toxic effect on me and a lot of other people, a lot of self hate, anxiety, and insecurities stemmed from this trope that I'm honestly still trying to heal from because I AM like other girls and I love that. Being obsessed with anything pink, and thinking pop songs are good, loving makeup, being in love-it felt so amazing accepting that I'm a "vsco girl" or a "basic girl" because I'm happy like that.

The one thing that always annoyed me was that the NOLG protagonists always described themselves as 'too skinny' or 'scrawny'. Back when I was a teenager who was overweight and struggling with my self esteem, my image and health reading about a girl who complained she was 'too skinny' always felt uncomfortable. I cannot recall any YA books at the time that had a positive plus sized female protagonist and they are still not common in YA books now.

I think what's important here is variety. Having a variety of feminine, masculine, and androgynous female characters. I've always strongly distanced myself from and disliked terms like "masculine" and "feminine" because I find them limiting to my expression, I like things that might be considered feminine or masculine, but I don't consider them that way, I just consider them things I like, not everything has to be gendered(ex. I like sewing, and many people consider that a feminine hobby, but I don't. I don't consider it a masculine or androgynous hobby either, I just consider it a hobby I like that doesn't have to have a gendered label attached to it), I've found that the best option for me is just to be myself without worrying about labels and which one I fit into, but of course, not everyone is like that, which is totally fine. Because of this, I've always been able to see myself in many strong characters, as well as in male, female, and non-binary characters alike. Some of the characters I relate/related to most were boys like Hiccup from how to train your dragon, Flynn/Eugene from Tangled, and Josuke from Jojos bizarre adventure, but I recognize not everyone is like that, and that's completely okay. That's why variety in characters of all genders is important. I do understand how important it is for everyone to be able to see themselves in characters, so yes, a variety of all types of girls please.

I honestly wish this video was 2hrs long, this was sooooo interesting and you put words on feelings that I've had for some time now about the messages directed to teenage girls in pop culture! So thank you for this 💕🤗

One character that is the best example of femininely badass is Daphne Blake, in the early 2000's live action Scooby-Doo movies. She is still the same character as she always was, feminine, the pretty character, the one everyone's entranced with, but despite that, she is smart, strong, amazing at fighting, and it doesn't contrast with her character because it makes sense for her to stay pretty, because that's what she loves, and be strong. My favorite woman in media, 100%

One movie where I forgive and enjoy the makeover is the princess diaries, it's probably no different but I still love it

Honestly the problem with the trope isn’t that “girls should hate femininity”, it’s that girls who can’t or won’t perform femininity tend to be bullied by those that do. That’s where a lot of this comes from. But people take it the wrong way and assuming it’s just a case of “femininity is bad” rather than “bullying and policing other people’s gender is bad”.

'Not like other girl' is simply the girl's mind in NPC mode.

just to point out that the image at the beginning was originally a fetish piece for "debimbofication".

You have urged me to create a story about a girl who enters a school where ALL girls are trying to be "not like other girls" but they actually end up all looking the same and so she decides to break that by being very feminine

I love videos intellectually talking about the early 2010s because that was the time I started to really consume media but while I was too young to really question it on a bigger level.

Can we appreciate the editing in this video?! It's amazing 👏

I felt like I was watching a university lecture in the best way :D

Guilty of being one of those “not like other girls” girls in high school. I didn’t have the heyday of YA having already graduated by 2002. I didnt want to be seen reading something “girly” because girly=not intellectual. So I missed out on some great female authors. A lot of unpacked internalized misogyny, for sure. Glad I got over it!

Heyy... I really enjoyed this video, but I do have one point to criticise : I very much dislike the fact that you put Katniss on the list of ‚not like other girls‘ :( Yea, she‘s not feminine at all, and she does say that one quote you mentioned, but I think her lack of interest in boys and clothes is just a part of who she is and that the quote just explains her character a bit better and highlights the fact that she differs from other teenagers because she always had to fight for survival!!! We know that she‘s had a veryyy hard life and her personality (being practical, survival oriented and more masculine) is a result of that. As far as I know, she doesn’t put down other girls Also, I‘ve noticed that people tend to demonize MASCULINE women nowadays when they criticise others for demonising feminine women. That’s very wrong, it think we should embrace women who present the way they want to, wether that be feminine or GNC (This is coming from a girly girl hahah)

I think I have a really interesting feeling about this topic that I'd like to share! Currently Im a transman in his early twenties. However growing up in high school I was "the popular girl" archetype you were describing. I had an hourglass figure, male attention, I liked bands, I wore makeup, and I even had hair dyed in strange and fun colours. But I wasn't popular at all and was still very isolated. Its weird because no one really wanted to be my friend but a lot of people knew about me. I would have complete strangers come up to me and ask me if I was dating someone just because they wanted to know. I got real life strangers shipping me and boys I had never spoken to wanting to have something sexual with me. It was exasperating and living in a southern state in America I was just keeping my trans identity a secret. I thought no one would date me if I gave up my identity as a pretty cis girl. I wore makeup to help me look like someone else to avoid episodes of dysphoria that had me going home in tears. All that to say I was isolated in a very strange way and I know I'm far from the only transman to experience this. But it was amazing how I could feel isolated by "other girls" and the "not like other girls". Looking to boys for company was an even worse decision because most of them were competing to date me. Even when I finally did come out towards the end of sophmore year the harassment did not end. It didn't even really change that much. Idk I'm rambling now but I just was curious how many transmen or even cis women felt this experience of being the other girl?

My first novel was about that sterotypical girl, an 18 year old brunette named Lacie who has anxiety and depression, and no nearby friends. She winds up in a magical, gothic Michigan city that is filled with monsters and lunatics, scientifically unstable, and is trapped in perpetual night. This is where she meets a lonely gothic girl named Elizabeth that makes donuts.

I think that Katniss is lumped in with these characters when her not relating to other girls was a lot more of a commentary about how she had trouble relating to other, more sheltered kids. Like Madge was pretty wealthy, and never had to hunt or forage like Katniss did, so it was like distaste for other girls and more distaste for other more privileged girls (and other kids in general), and I feel like it was pretty self aware about it too, like Katniss comments on how she doesn't really feel it fair to treat other girls like that, but she still felt it. Katniss feels like she was a genuinely strong protagonist girl who was unlucky enough to be released in a time where her type of character had already been done to death. There is definitely a case to be made about how she wasn't super feminine, but really she wasn't super masculine either. She kinda just did what she had to do to survive and didn't care much about her gender presentation outside of functionality. (Like wearing her dad's hunting jacket and boots not because she prefers masculinity but because they work, which the movie definitely should have shown as being poorly fitting ugh that still bugs me). If anything, she herself is more androgynous, but was played up to be more feminine by those around her to play into her fake love with Peeta. She didn't hate femininity, she hated the wealthy because of how good they had it while she had to work to survive, and that quote kinda ignores the context that she said it in (it is also only one line, as opposed to the entire section of the first book where she is stunned and entranced by how she looks in the dresses her stylists give her and genuinely finds them beautiful.) Sorry a spirit possesses me whenever I see anything mildly critical of Katniss cause I still have hunger games brainrot. She wasn't perfect, cause really no protag is, but she really wasn't a good example of a "I'm not like other girls" trope, she was just unfortunate enough to be released in a climate where characters like her were always really shallow and predictable. I definitely agree with the rest of this video though, and it's a very good deconstruction of this trope.

One of the reasons I love the Throne of Glass series. The main character is a strong beautiful intelligent girl who loves clothes and music and all of those things yet who is also a badass assassin and witty and yes emotionally unavailable but only because she was betrayed and her first love was killed. Her best friend is another beautiful girl who also fights for her people. She even says in the book that she hates girls that would turn against her own sex over a guy, or because they were more beautiful.

who else jammed to Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld after watching this beauty?

Leonie this video is excellent, you should be proud! I would love to see more of these kinds of commentaries if you enjoy making them

Katniss saying she and Madge "aren't like other girls" is very obviously her own prejudice though. Later on she has to acknowledge (though she still hates) that the other people in her district have a lot in common with her + even that clothes can matter. Also she's literally not like other girls in that as far as we're told none of the other girls have to go hunt to feed their families at that point. But yeah, I'm sure her being slightly less feminine is internalised misogyny, and not her literally growing up in a horrible place and then being sent to die 30 times.

This feels weird to me because... maybe it is different for neurotypical people, but I'm neurodivergent (adhd and autism). I'm not "like other girls," and certainly wasn't growing up and as a teen before I started masking so heavily. Being a teen was really confusing and painful because I was kinda left behind. Where my childhood friends were becoming interested in meeting fashion and beauty standards and dating, I was still obsessed with frogs and dragons. I still often feel like an alien, especially when listening to popular music and TV, and when with a group of people I don't know well. I think and communicate very differently, the things that make me happy are different and my ways of expressing happiness and excitement are very different from everyone I know. It makes making friends and dating really challenging.