Jesus. If I had seen this when I was the same as Emma's age here, it would have been so helpful and relatable. In fact, it's so relatable even now, it hurts a bit.
I’m so happy to see where you went in the 4 years after this video. It’s gut wrenching seeing what you were going through then and I hope you never go through this again
As someone who has dealt with clinical depression, severe anxiety and a whole bunch else, I was so amazed as what courage this took. No joke, that was honest and relatable in a profound way. Currently trying to get my stuff in order yet again and your channel - this video most of all - is helping. Thanks for putting yourself out there.
I have bipolar disorder. I take my meds but cannot work. I do go to the gym 4 days a week and am trying to eat better. Life is hard for me but NOT as bad as it was when I ignored my condition. You’re very brave for doing this. You ARE a good person. You are NOT worthless. Get help. Do it quickly. Life is precious no matter the circumstances. The alternative is NOT even worth considering.
I think you are a cool and alright person. Take care of yourself, because you do very good things 😃. There's a whole world with a lot of weirdos who start every day doing bad stuff, meanwhile you're out there and produce videos which try to make people use reason to explain stuff. And that's valuable.
I relate to you for having to deal with mental issues, I'm schizophrenic and have been for 7 years. I had childhood schizophrenia, than when. I was 12, developed over night (March 13th) to an early onset schizophrenia. which technically means I've had it my whole life. No medications doctors have given me has not helped. In short, I've always been struggling big time with being different from everyone I meet, 1 in 100 people have schizophrenia. But it's hard to relate with those people too because there are different forms of schizophrenia that exhibit different symptoms. I'm a Buddhist, and this has helped me with coping with the struggles of my brain literally deteriorating without constant maintenance. And tobacco is a very helpful medicine. I had hope about a year ago but that was all taken away. People stole my furniture and appliances. And things. Computers, etc. And I then had to live in my car for 6 months. Things were rough, as fuck. Near death many times I asked my dad to move in. I'm starting from ground zero, so, I definitely relate to not being ok and that's ok. Because my entire life, my brain has told me I was adopted, or I deserve death, etc, very bizarre delusions. Im not going to go in depth but imagine if you think taking your medicine could actually be stabbing someone. What if that's who I am and I just don't know it? Anyway, thank you for the video, honesty is always respected by me. And I whole heartedly respect what you do. Exposing the truth and more importantly, being yourself. You a real G.
I have a family member that has schizophrenia. Also, he is very religious. When you mix religion and mental illness, it is a nasty combination. For many years, I had no idea that he had that problem. he never talked. He would leave the lights on and so I had to turn them off all the time. It’s like he needed a nightlight. At time, he would be on a sofa, looking straight ahead and frozen. If you call his name, he never responses. You have to call him 5 times and yell and he responds by yelling as well. What???? I thought he did it on purpose, that he was being disrespectful to all family members. That was from 1990 to 1995. Years later, he began to not eat much and lost a lot of weight. Suddenly, I learned that he was fired. Probably he was late every time. He was great at his job but did not care about money or his cloths and looks. He worn torn up cloths, looked like a homeless person. That was from 1995 to 2000. For years, he did not work. I think in 2006 he started to work again. Finally, on Jan 2011, I guess something happened. He was not sleeping at night. Often, I heard a scream after midnight and he woke me up. I didn’t ask what was going on since I know that he won’t respond. He has been like that since 1990. Finally, he started talking to mom and it became clear during Jan 2011 that he has schizophrenia. He was seeing Jesus. Jesus was explaining things to him for hours. At times he was seeing Mary or both of them or something. I don’t know. So, I guess that is what was happening when he was frozen, staring straight ahead. Apparently, they were telling him that he is going to hell, or saying some violent things, ending your life and so on. He was seeing people saying ugly things from other parts of the world. I guess all that was driving him insane for years and in Jan 2011 he finally broke down and began to tell us what was going on. He was certain that the world was going to come to an end in 3 or 4 y since that is what Jesus said. I did some research online and told him about similar cases. He was not convinced so I told him to search it himself. I don’t think he did. I told him many time to see a doctor to get a reference to a psychologist. He is anti government a bit and anti doctor, so he never went. We got a kitten in summer of 2011. That changed him. He also got a job and made friends and he changed a lot. I guess the world didn’t suddenly seem to be going to hell? A few years back, I met someone who had a similar case in his family. Oh boy!!! Religion + mental issues = very nasty situation
Scrolling back through your posts, this caught my eye after the past 21 months. It's reassuring hearing from others during these non-normal times.Whether it be Jules from WhatCulture reminding us that we can still go out and smash it, or from you that it's ok to sometimes need to just stay in bed until we have the energy to go back to doing the same thing over and over again. In the end, it's about knowing that we're all going through something together. We might be coping with different situations and in different ways, but we're not alone. Thank you for sharing a pre-pandemic viewpoint which ended up being even more meaningful as more people see that it's ok to not be ok.
I want to give you the biggest hug. There are a few people I subscribe to that I think they are so lovely and interesting that if we ever met I would want to be their friend. You are one of those wonderful people so hang in there. The world is a much better place because you exist xx
I think you’re really brave to talk about this. It take courage to give yourself this talk, so thank you for sharing it with us. The best bit is that you have all the answers already. Just remember that depression is an illness that you can defeat with the smallest of wins, such as washing that cup. Kick it’s ass with those little things, every day, because you deserve it. I look forward to seeing your next step, but I hope you’re looking forward to it even more than me.
I'm in my 50's, a successful IT developer who also went to York (also for a IT masters degree but straight to masters as a first degree). My personal life has been a disaster but that's private to me. The happiest I've ever been was probably at York (obviously a long time before you and when there was only one campus). When I was low I would hark back to being a student because it was enjoyable and beautiful. I think the one thing I learned over a long time was that everything has its time, whether it is University time, a relationship (which is now broken) or even friends/family who have died. When you made this video you were in grief.. That's not surprising as you enjoyed your course and grief of any sort should never be ignored or minimized. I think it's important for everybody to realize people don't just grieve over death - goodness knows I'm guilty of grieving over a lot of things!
I just got here, and I'm glad I did. You see, both me AND my daughter suffer from depression, as well. I've been through this. I know how to manage it. She doesn't. But all this... I know how it feels. And having it reflected in another human being - a beautiful, creative, inspiring human being - helps a lot. It say, bluntly, that we're not the crazy stupid lazy people. We're just that, people. And it's ok. Even if we're not ok.
Though it may be hard for a young adult to believe, this too shall pass! Accomplish one task at a time, realize that worrying doesn’t help, and give yourself permission to accomplish what you can today, and be okay with finishing the rest tomorrow. I find you to be a very intelligent ad engaging person ad that’s a good thing!
Wow... Past Emma has very clearly described my... whole deal. I'm ok for other people but I just don't care about things that I really should care about. I do keep my house pretty clean, keeping up appearances and all that. I've been having a week... This showed up in my feed just today and I'm happy that it did! I don't know if you get alerts for vids this old... Anyhow... Thanks.
Thank you for this. This is roughly the mental state I'm in, and seeing that this lurks behind your current vibrant life (or at least videos) is reassuring. I think it's helping give me hope that maybe I can manage to reach a better condition, even if it seems like there's no point trying anything because of past failure and current depression. At the least, finding this video is bringing back to the surface some emotions I've been repressing for too long. Hopefully that will prompt me to make a serious effort to improve for the first time in a while. I'm saving this video in hopes that it can have the same effect again if this particular "spike" of motivation falters without managing anything. /end stream of conciousness semi-rant P.S: I'm very glad for you that, going by what I see in videos, you seem to be doing very well mentally nowadays.
This was an important step (as you said) and it is a just that, a step. You will go on to take further steps. You don't need to do everything at once, a bit at a time is enough but it is great that you have a goal/list. Most of all, talk to your family and close friends, even though you're striving for your independence, it's always okay to ask for help.
Stress is anything you have to get used to. Even good things can be stressful. Major illnesses or injuries are obviously stressful. Graduation, Marriage, Wealth, etcetera are things that we are brought up to want, so when we get them we think it's wrong to be unhappy. But even good things like graduation etc., take getting used to. They are stressful and draining. As you can see in the videos of your future self, you will get used to it and become a strong, confident, articulate, cheerful advocate for free thinking and support of personal freedom. Be safe. Be well. May all your ups and downs have only soft landings.
Hey, sorry to hear that your going through a hard time. I've been there before, wanting to sleep and stay in bed and just do nothing. i lost myself as well when i went through a full mental break down few years ago, heck i still am not my perfect self as i can even ask my mum and she can truthfully tell me that i'm not the same person as i was but i am in some way a better person because i am now more careful with situations. i found talking to someone you trust helps, luckily i had my mum to talk to, it helped a lot and first part of recovery i find was admitting that your not okay and not happy because the more you keep yourself in denial the worse it can get, so accepting things are not great is the best. Talking can help a lot i found, in anyway like in this video because its there and you can look back on it time to time to see yourself improve and to know what to do and what not to do. one thing to remember is the past is the past and you can't change that, all you can do as a person is change yourself for the better and do what makes you truly happy. working a job like that and late hours are tough, i'm a chef and its pretty much only me that runs the kitchen, i cook, clean, prep the food, everything pretty much. so i understand how that feels in a sense of late hours. ofc jobs are jobs can't really change them, but ofc you do what ever makes you happy. One a bit of advice i can give, which helped me is Take your time and don't over think it, because things happen for a reason and if it wasn't meant to be then something else was. take things slow and steady and keep doing your routine like making and drinking your coffee because in the end of the day only your actions can make you truly happy. i still have my moments here and there but talking to my mum and telling myself there is a reason to wake up and to do the things are cheer me up and make me smile, makes things worth living :) all i can say is keep your chin up high and there is a light at the end of the tunnel and its okay to take someones hand for some guidance, never be afraid to ask for some help :) Stay strong! everything will get better, promise you that!
I wouldn't say naive, you were giving positive uplifting and reassuring advice. Nothing malicious at all. I think big step to admit that your not okay. I think everyone has there own way of dealing with depression and anxiety. My is taking nature walks and a journal. 👍👍👍👍 Is that pusheen cat?
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that depression is not itself a symptom. Motivations and drives can be quite complex, you can find your reason for doing things has disintegrated as you learn more about them. 4 years ago, it's quite interesting watching this video compared to the stuff you are producing now.
You have to be intelligent to be bi-polar. Your brain is an amplifier with a high gain. À little négative signal vive a big négative feeling. Inversely,a little positive signal vive a high feeling. By the Way, your hair is fine. You have rare natural beauty.
pshhh ahhh cheer up you bum! Lol jk. I've suffered similar bs. In 2011 my dad died, my gf dumped me, I was addicted to methadone pills, and then I got fired for stealing : ) Today I run my own shop, answer to no dikhed boss, and make 10 times as much money and I'm living my best life. I wish you the best 4 years younger Emma!
