I'm 'Special'! // Identity First vs. Person First Language [CC] 

"The Gays" because, irony. But, "The Blacks?" No. No no no, that's never coming back. Lol

"SHUT. YOUR. FACE." I absolutely love those rare flashes of ferocity from Jessica. Yassss, girl, go get 'em!

Definitely prefer autistic rather than person with autism. Autism isn't something that comes along with me. It's not separate from me. If you took away autism I'd be either dead or a new person because autism describes how my brain has wired itself and you would have to remove or rewire my brain to get rid of it.

"Special" is weird to me but not as weird/gross as "Differently abled" or "specially abled" are. Like, when did "disabled" become a dirty word? I feel like, especially in the US, that the people who police the language around disabilities are people who the language doesn't apply to. Like, people who aren't disabled are policing the language that I, a disabled person, am choosing to use. It's one thing if someone else who is disabled asks me to use a certain language for when referring to them. It's another when an abled person is policing the language that I am using for myself.

Does anyone else really hate it when people refuse to call you disabled and say " person with different abilites"? Like I really really hate it. I get what it's trying to say, but ugh. Differently abled is the worst.

I wrote an essay on this and presented it to my English class in college!!! The professor asked me if I would be comfortable being assigned the topic of disability while other we're allowed to choose a unique topic from a list he made. My professor saw it as an opportunity to educate others about disability and identity from someone who is actually disabled and identifies as such. I love love love writing and was super excited to do it! Because of this assignment I was offered a spot to write for the college magazine. Didn't take the offer since I started chemo for my lupus but it was a wonderful experience to explore my own identity and teach others the different ways to approach the topic of disability.

I'm from Texas and much prefer being called disabled than person with a disability, mostly because I've only heard non-disabled people using the latter. It feels like they try to make my disability sound optional, as if the days I'm not in my wheelchair i'm just "a person" and in my chair i become " a person with a disability". I'm disabled every second, regardless of my mobility aids thank you very much!!

I saw the title without the quotes at first and was like "yes Jessica, yes you are! You are amazing!" And then saw properly and got it.

Funny how you mention the way that “special needs students” are disabled students but “special needs teachers” are teachers of disabled students. I was a TA for the “special needs” class at my school ( I can’t remember the correct term for it at the moment, brain fog) and I also have a disability but people would also praise me as if I have some kind of magic power to be able to “handle” working in that class. No, I just have human compassion and this class had a shortage of help and i could relate to the students. I loved that class and I looked forward to it everyday.

This really reminded me of a time I was seeing a new therapist and I said "I'm bipolar" and she said later this worried her because saying that instead of "I have bipolar disorder "or "I'm a person with-" was putting the illness as what I was rather than simply a part of me. I was honestly baffled by the whole thing. I mean I told her I was bisexual and she didn't seem to think I was conflating my sexuality as "what I was." I can also say "I'm a comicbook geek" or (at the time) "an English major" and no one thinks twice or tries to police that. My Illnesses/disabilities are a large part of who I am and affect me on a daily basis. I shouldn't have to deny that.

The title is an understatement... You are AMAZING!

When people use handicapable or differently abled it just makes me think they’re uncomfortable with disability and want to find a way to pretend it doesn’t exist.

*Jessica is out here spreading knowledge and love. I’ve never admired someone more* love you!

I teach a class that has been called "Special Needs" They recently changed it to "Learning for Life." I like the new name better. I call and refer to all my students by name. Unless they prefer a nickname. I truly enjoy watching you. Thanks for you help.

I'm in Canada and I find we use a lot of identity first language. At least in the province I'm in. I personally prefer identity first language, but as you said, if someone else would rather I refer to them another way, I see no issue with that. Also, I find "special" tends to put a lot of disabled people on a pedestal. Like an inspiration porn type of situation. Which is just....ick.

I feel you. My husband was born with a disability (legally blind), and some people thought I was crazy because as a woman, I shouldn't have to burden myself with taking care of him. That's literally what they said. I'm a super independent person, I don't need a man to earn the bread, and so on. I love him for who he is, and most of the time I forget he can't see everything. Not in a bad way at all, like I'm neglectful, but we just live our lives like normal people. No one realizes how it's just a "normal" thing, it doesn't affect every aspect of our lives, except with the fact that no one will let him work. Anyways, because I'm with someone like him, people think I'm some kind of saint. I'm the opposite haha. It's just one of those things where I didn't "choose" to fall in love with him, I just did. Also yes, I worry all the time that I'm saying the wrong thing lol. Even now.

I agree about "autistic person". My autism makes me more different from most people than other people, and that's a big part of why I am so valuable in society. Essentially. I rock. Other than that, I prefer person first language. So I guess I am an autistic woman of questionable sexuality and gender identity, who also has PTSD and developmental co-ordination disorder. Lol. That really gives an idea of how complicated I am.

I feel like lots of people without a disability get so caught up in the 'correct' language to use that it becomes quite patronising to a disabled person, and embarrassing for the person trying. For example when someone without a disability tries to 'correct' someone with a disability about how they're referring to themselves, or to others with disabilities. I remember this happening a lot around when Stephen Hawkins died! Surely we should just ask the person how they prefer to be referenced/called, and just follow that? I also think a lot of people without disabilities try to hard to use words to make it sound like people don't have a disability, or anything different about them- when these differences do need to be recognised so that the person can get the best help they can to live the best life they can surely? Using the right terminology doesn't mean using terminology that completely ignores the persons needs and differences, but terminology that treats the people with the differences with the respect they deserve, the respect everyone no matter what their differences should receive. I am however someone without a disability, so I realise that I might not have the entirely correct perspective here, however from my own experiences with someone with a disability, and from watching Jessica's videos, this is the sort of opinion I've picked up :)

You are special. Not because you're disabled, not because you're gay... etc. You are special because you're a lovely kind person who spreads joy and knowledge to many people! You are a beautiful soul and I'm so glad I found your channel. Just your presence through a screen is comforting and can always put a smile on my face. Thank you for being you. 😊 (This whole thing is very sappy, but I'm going to post it anyway :D)

Your curls look especially voluminous today, beautiful :)

I have no idea where I stand on the semantics for my own situation. I mean, I definitely have mental disabilities (anxiety, depression, ADHD; or the weird wiring trifecta as I call it) and I just got diagnosed with a relatively mild form of hEDS. At this point, I don't feel super "disabled" physically, but I recognize that's likely to change down the road as my joints are definitely creaking/aching somewhat prematurely. I think I'd feel a little weird calling myself disabled at this point, but am okay with saying I have disabilities, and I'm not sure why. Hmm. Definitely something to think about. On a slightly different note as far as the airport services go, maybe it would be better to call themselves "Accessibility Services" or "Accessibility Assistance" instead of Special Assistance. I think just "Assistance" might be a little unclear and might attract people wanting help with changing tickets or seats or whatever. At least in the U.S., accessibility is a term that's understood and hasn't been politicized (yet). It's a fairly neutral and unbiased term as far as I can tell.

It's amazing how a word thats meant to soften a blow can become something that sharpens the steel. I remember, when I was little, some other kids saying that they didn't want to play because I was "one of the special kids." Read: One of the kids in SpEd (special education, that's what my class called it). I definitely agree that we need to rethink the language we use to describe accessibility and needed accommodations. Autistic person/person with autism here (tbh I've never been partial to one or the other, I'm all "wonderful, you acknowledge it"....which kinda goes to show how painful it can be to have an "invisible" disability)

In some ways, I do feel that person first language makes sense. For example, I have crippling anxiety. I don't like being called an anxious person, I prefer person with anxiety. It separates my disorder from me, making it less all consuming. But that's just my two cents. You can put me on r/nobodyasked. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Really interesting discussion. When I did my teaching degree (in Aus) and studied "Special Needs Education" (course title) we were taught to use person first language, eg Children with special educational needs. Recently I did a workshop with Drake Music here in the UK (who do lots of work making music learning and experiences accessible) and they said that the people they work with generally prefer identity first language. My experience was echoed by other colleagues who had trained as teachers. It is definitely tricky in education because, as you said, some children that have needs particular to them that are different to the general needs of the class, but not every learning need necessarily has an identity descriptor and some parents/students may not consider it a "disability" as such. For example, I needed special assistance (extra time and a writer) in my exams at school due to my chronic illnesses but I don't consider myself "disabled" (though at times my symptoms my be disabling). As in many situations, continued discussion and consulting WITH THE PEOPLE ACTUALLY AFFECTED is the way forward!

I have mild invisible disabilities, & I know I technically am disabled but I find it difficult to say that sometimes because I sometimes feel like I'm not disabled enough to use the label. I'll clarify if I have to by stating that I have mild disabilities or that I consider myself as less abled. I would much rather be called disabled than a lot of the other fluffy labels I hear though. "Differently abled" would just annoy me. If I'm in too much pain to move or otherwise experiencing something disabling that hinders my abilities then that isn't being "differently abled" & I would much rather use acurate language to describe my experience. If someone else wants a different label then of course I'd oblige. For me personally I'd be happy just to come to terms with my reality & use whatever label fits me best. I'm not always sure what that is though.

Special just seems so derogatory and condescending to me.

Thanks for watching! Let me know what you think of the word 'special....? You can find me on Twitter at: twitter.com/JessicaOOTC and on Instagram at: instagram.com/jessicaoutofthecloset/

I've been using terms like medically complex or disabled or chronically ill over special needs since too many assume special means stupid. Beyond that having a medical need isn't special and you're not a super human unicorn for not being an asshole to someone or for providing accessibility. People congratulate me for parenting my sick kid. God gave that to you because he knows I couldn't do it. So what you're saying is you'd bail on your kid if they got sick or hurt? That's nice.

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻people need to talk about this! The term special can be very othering and even though it is used a lot I agree that for example “special assistance” should just be “assistance.”

"People who prefer identity first language" is really meta... Like, the identity is afterwards for a term that literally means that they want it before?

I'm a disabled person, unless someone says it as if it's an insult or all that I am, then I'm like "no, person with a disability". I hope that makes sense to at least one disabled person?

I took an intro to disablity class at my uni, bc I'm disabled and it seemed interesting. It was constantly person first, the professor is disabled but I was like I'm disabled. I am a person WITH a service dog but I am a disabled person. Ya know. Just didnt agree. I dont carry a handbag that is my disablity with me. It IS me.

I'm a Spanish speaker natively but started learning English so early in my life that I consider myself just as native in it as an American or British. That said, there are language barriers and cultural differences that come from my Spanish upbringing. That bit of context aside and, while I've been influenced by American culture more due to my location (Chile, South America), I do prefer British English and I would consider myself to be on the British side of language when it comes to this issue, since you simply cannot separate my disability from who I am. It doesn't define me in the sense that it's not the whole picture of who I am, but it's something you just have to acknowledge and put into consideration when dealing with me: I'm just not going to be able to go hiking with you, I'm not going to be able to run a marathon (but give me a wheelchair and I will), we may have to stop more often than you usually would if we are walking on the street to go somewhere, but if I'm seated and in front of a computer or on court I'm just as capable as the next lawyer in town. If not more, that's the judge to decide.

That feeling when you're already watching Jessica's new video when RU-vid notifies you about it.

I'm so glad you exist.

Gotta admit this is my favourite hairstyle of yours! I need to try it. But my natural curly hair doesn't like doing as told

Here in Sweden it's, as you say, a minefield. First the term "handicapped" (or to have a handicap) was the correct way to refer to a person with disabilities, then it was decided that that was wrong since it suggested that "the problem" was somehow attached to the person - it was a society problem, the society didn't take responsability for acessability etc - and the solution was to call it funktionshindrad, function hindered, a person that is hindered to function in the society, hindered by the society. After a while that wasn't ok because the hindered person didn't want to be "abnormal", outside of the norm, so the solution became "funktionsvarierad", a variation in functionality. A minefield no less.

You’re such an inspiration to me! I have arthritis which limits me but watching you reminds me that we can be chronically ill and flourishing 💜

identity first, i don’t want sentences altered in order to refer to me - makes me feel weird. ‘person with a disability’ sounds fussy and ‘handicapable’ sounds really, really douchey. i don’t make the rules! also in terms of special - there’s a show that came out recently about a lad with cerebral palsy literally named ‘special’, and i wasn’t entirely sure about the name either. haven’t seen it but point is, special isn’t something that i think we particularly need to reclaim!

I have lost hearing in one ear & need to occasionally use a cane. I use the label HOH, I wear a pin at work that says "I'm hard of hearing, please face me when speaking." I prefer not to call my self disabled, but would mark it on paperwork.

My mom tries to use the term “diffability” and I do not like it

Hi! I was wondering, could you do a video on shoes for us disabled vintage lovers? I wear orthotics and ankle braces (and walk with a cane) and have trouble finding anything cute thats also deep enough for my orthotics.

We’ve always referred to my oldest child as “differently abled” since we’ve always tried to focus on her abilities vs her disabilities.

Jessica! Those curls! Tell me you effortlessly combed your hair into that fabulously fierce updo. Stunning is an understatement.

Jessica -as always spot on! I must say though the discussion about a spouse to a disabled person being perceived as a superhuman is an entire video of u get into the % of people who admit they would not even consider dating a disabled person. It’s rather depressing 😓

I'm disabled and I'm completely fine with both terms, but I tend to go with disabled person, because it's shorter, but I find that I don't usually have reason to specify bc I don't generally need much assistance in everyday life

Hi Jessica. I recently found your channel. You are such fun and informative! I’m a high school teacher in the US. I have “special education” students in “regular ed” classes. I refer to them by their name and help EVERYONE as needed because every human has “special needs” lol. That said, my nephew has dwarfism...is a little person. His name is Jake and he’s awesome sauce. I’m always concerned with not offending people. 💕 one student who uses a wheelchair was in my aquatics class. I got him in the pool daily and helped get his shirt and socks and shoes back on afterwards. It’s took some time and effort. He was always apologizing and thanking me. It broke my heart and finally I told him he WAS NOT a burden. we got to know each other so well and knowing him blessed me so much. He’s a cool kid! He let me know that I had done more for his self esteem than any teacher. I was honored. I treated him the way I would treat my own child. My non disabled sons had very different needs growing up. Anyway- keep educating and entertaining. ✌️

The way you said "chatty" made me literally burst into unrestrained laughter. I love your channel, you make such excellent content.

Love you! I’m already excited just hearing the topic❤️❤️

I love that your videos are so educational yet so interesting. Language is definitely weird but your videos help to sort through some of the weirdness. Can't wait for the next video!

Love the bit about the doctor stapling a letter to your head! I recently purchased home insurance and the only occupation option which fitted me was "Registered Disabled". Which made me laugh, as if they issue us with special cards and we're all in a little club 😝 I find "disabled person" and "person with a disability" equally acceptable. I'm not super keen on "differently abled" and such terms as they feel overly wordy and exist only to try and avoid wording which ultimately doesn't actually bother me. BUT none of the terms offend me and I acknowledge it's a personal decision so I'll always follow what the individual themselves prefers.

I feel like the whole special student vs teacher also points out that (at least with my “special”. Autism.) a lot people don’t realize or even think that we can be anything other than a student struggling by or they think it’s something you grow out of. (Never understood those people, guess successful disabled people scare them so much they just think you re-abled yourself?) I personally don’t have an issue with “special” as long as it’s not condescending and much prefer it to other... harsher, names. But that’s just me and I can definitely see how anything that’s used to dehumanize or other is bad. I just like to own it and turn it on it’s head. So what if I’m special? I’m one of a kind and that’s so much better than being boring and “normal”.😊 💕💜💙

I prefer identity first language and I think I've been influenced by british culture as I'm european. I like the explanation for using identity first better for myself. While I can say I'm disabled or depressed, I can only say I have chronic migraines though, I wish there was an adjective for that.

Recently I tried to explain to my boyfriend why I prefer using "disabled" over "special needs", as a disabled people who works with disabled people. I love the way you explained that 💕

Jessica, you are SO special. It's your smile, your intelligence, your ever so charming straight talking. Keep being special. :o) I use to find using the correct language a bit of a nightmare. The 'correct' version can change quickly, and be quite different in various groups. I decided to not worry about it. Instead, I use respectful language, don't make assumptions, and give a warm, genuine smile. It's amazing how much people are willing to forgive when you are respectful and non-patronising. Some people have said "I prefer...", or they use person-first/identity-first language. When that happens I switch and use their preferred terms. I've started learning British Sign Language, and it's so utterly amazing how people's eyes light up when I initiate conversations in Sign. :o) It gives me a real buzz. Communication is fantastic.

My mom was a resource/collaborative teacher for many years, but she mainly worked with young kids who wouldn’t have the means to discuss something as complex as this. It’s been interesting now that I’m older and keeping up with the disabled community enough to kind of explain things like this to her, as well as introducing her to terms like ‘neuroduvergent’ that they just don’t hear in professional settings. She really appreciates people like you, who are willing to speak so candidly about their lives & experiences to give her a better perspective, & it’s led to some really meaningful conversations about my own experiences as well.

Yaaaay!! Another video to look forward to watching after work :) So glad I clicked that bell symbol

Person on Twitter: ‘the jews’ Me: *dabs right out of there*

Oh my stars the bit where you talk about the R word and S word made me laugh so much because it's so so true, and your expression-full face said the frustration perfectly!

Watching your videos has helped me realize that I do have a diagnosed disability that, were I not incredibly lucky, would have had a serious impact on my life. I have Convergence disorder, which means basically crosseyed all the time... which manifested as a complete inability to read because all the letters get superimposed on each other. When I was young it was an emerging condition; eye doctors were debating about its existence and insurance companies (USA) did not acknowledge it. I was fortunate that my eye doctor did believe in it, had an Vision therapist (basically an eye physical trainer) on staff, and my parents were able and willing to pay and provide transportation for my vision therapy. The first book I ever read was Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone; I went from being unable to read Cat in the Hat to finishing Harry Potter in 1 year. I still have the condition and it does affect how I function everyday; right now I have one eye covered so I am only looking at one keyboard, sometimes I have to have someone else type or write something for me because my eyes will not focus, etc. (and the cool ability to super impose spread sheets or images and easily spot any differences/patterns... which is surprisingly useful). But none of this really impedes my ability to do what I want, including college. But if I hadn’t been lucky on all 4 counts, I guess 5 if you count that the therapy actually did work as advertised, I would still be unable to read, or write... which is incredibly limiting in our society. So wail I am not disabled by my condition, it is interesting to recognize how easily I could have been. I am not sure where that puts me, I think I tend to use ‘I have a condition’, so person-first, because wail it is incredibly important to my life story and I do discuss it because it is important to raise awareness*, I don’t really recognize it as part of my daily life or identity. (Also condition person just sounds.. no). * (unable to read =/= stupid, also commonly misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD, cause you try reading something in a foreign language you have no hope of understanding and see how long you can sit still and quiet for)

In Sweden we have several different descriptive words. Handikappad =Handicapped is the oldest and least used , refers mostly to bodily disabilities. Funktionsnedsatt is mostly translated to Disabled but more exactly it means "Person who is less than Able bodied/who is not fully functioning" Finally there's the more PC, Funktionsvariation=Person who functions differently/whos body functions differently.

Yes, you are!

You have completely changed how I think about "disabled person" vs "person with a disability", thank you so much for this video!

I LOVE this video! You said so many important things especially about the importance of language. The very first thing I learned in my linguistics introduction was “language shapes the way we think” and it is so true even if in 99% of the cases we’re not even aware of it. And so yes, it totally is a mine field. ‘Special needs’ is used to mark that a person needs some form of assistance or accessibility features that an able bodied person doesn’t and I get that in society as it is right now we need a word for that because sadly it simply ISN’T accessible. But at the same time by continue to use phrases like ‘special needs’ we’re feeding into this othering and validating the difference instead of working towards a more accessible society in general that wouldn’t be in need of the (linguistic) differentiation anymore. And then on top of that personal preferences and experiences come into play when it comes towards our own feelings about certain phrases and that makes it all the more difficult to navigate. There certainly is no easy solution to any of this but thank you so much for this video and for highlighting the importance of reflecting on the language we use and why.

The video just started and i already know it's gonna be great❤️

I absolutely get concerned about using the correct language - but respecting what people would like to be called makes sense. It feels similar to the pronouns conversation in that sense

My sister has Cerebral Palsy and when we'd be out with her at the mall or something and people would come up to us and be all "OMG Bless you so much for taking care of her" and the whole "you have to be an amazing superhuman to take care of her" mentality would shine through and it would always bother me sooooo much but I could never pinpoint why. Kinda felt like a backhanded compliment

I absolutely love the things that you talk about and the way you educate about them because not everyone knows this stuff. Your happy attitude cures my depression also thank you for being you Jessica! 💗💗💗

I hate that so many parents support this ableistic bs. They celebrate themselves for caring for their special snowflakes (

I’m blind and will be flying from Amsterdam to London this summer. I’m terrified of how the assistance will go lol

Thank you for this video! I'm a teacher in Australia, and in my training we had courses where we got actual marks for using People First Language (and marked down each time we phrased it as "disabled person" or even "person who is disabled" instead of "person with a disability" for example). The lecturer for this was not a disabled person (or person with a disability) and specifically reminded us that she wasn't. It's nice to hear a variation on the opinion that People First Language is inherently *always* correct from someone who is disabled. Videos like this are what help me to continually better my understanding for those I teach and work with!

Thank you so much for addressing this - especially with travel. It's very difficult to explain to someone (a service etc) what your illness is or to prove your illness when it's invisible and to feel less than a person.

I love watching your videos, I'm a new subscriber and I look forward to watching more of your videos in the future ❤️

I’m looking forward to the video about how the word “problematic” is problematic.

My cousin frequently gets people talking to her like she's a child when she's in a wheelchair or on her mobility scooter. When recounting some of the things people have said to her, she'll append "because I'm just a stupid fkn cripple, eh" - she's under no illusions about how many able-bodied people perceive her. It's actually shocking how many people - who probably think they're quite caring and positive towards disabled people - still have the underlying perception that someone in a wheelchair is some sort of underdeveloped thing that is incapable of full adult comprehension. "Differently able" is a phrase I detest with a passion. I have frequently railed against the term most vehemently, pointing out that my left ear grants me no *different **_abilities_* than any other person and, in fact, prevents me from doing things that many people are *able* to do - like hear what direction a sound or voice is coming from, or hear someone talking softly by my left side or listen to stereo music on standard earphones. Handicapable is just plain stupid. I personally prefer identity-first language. Person first seems to me like the disability is something I've got temporarily. If I get the 'flu, I'm not a "flu person", I'm a person who has the flu - and I won't in a week or so. However, I'll still have my disabilities and they'll still shape how I live my life as they've shaped how I've developed and lived my life so far.

This was really well done!! I'm thinking of sending this to my professor, especially after our unit on person first language (we were taught that as a healthcare professional person first language is The Only Way to talk about your patients, which just doesn't seem right)

*don’t dis my ability*

Just love you 😍 and all your videos..... you have inspired me to start doing my own videos now.....eeeeekkkk.... adore this “special” .... I am too... special....lots of special love xxxx

As a person living with a disability, a speech pathologist and a language nerd LOVES this video! So well researched :)

I feel like the issue that “no amount of accessibility in the world is going to make my illness go away” could be its own video. Definitely something I think about.

Oh, the "special" ALWAYS makes me cringe. I prefer person first language, but I always feel like I'm stepping (rolling) over toes when people prefer identity first language - and it's mostly because Croatian language influence... but also because of inspiration porn - I'm not sure if I can explain it properly, but I'll try: I've always and mostly seen identity first language in inspiration porn articles so it's really hard for me to identify as "disabled person". Because whenever I see a "disabled person does this" types of posts my heart sinks a little - because their accomplishments are "hidden" behind this big DISABLED thing for people to admire, and it just feels so wrong. Not everything I do (or someone else) or achieve is related to my disability - yes, I am disabled, and yes it makes my life a little extra complicated, but that doesn't mean I want to perceive all my successes (or failures) through the lens of disability. Ultimately it's the same as "gay" - each of us has their own preference and we shouldn't be mad about either. If someone calls me a disabled person, I'm not going to like it, but I won't be mad about it either, and I hope I'm given the same treatment when I call someone a person with disability and they prefer disabled person.

If anything I think it's easier to love a disabled person than a non-disabled person. I have disabilities. Disabilities don't have me.

Jessica thank you for your videos. As a neurotypical person who does not have/manage a disability, I just got a bunch of recommended videos of lovely people talking about their lived experience with Dissociative Identity Disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, autism etc. It is lifechanging, thank you for putting yourself out there to educate people and it really does a lot of good.

Thanks for this video, I’m reading through so many comments to try and learn :) I’m not disabled and I try my best to refer to people how they want to be referred to (my disabled friends and family are all different *shock* and they tend to keep me right!) That’s difficult when you’ve never met a person before and I work in a tourist attraction, which doubles as an event space for everything from weddings to meetings to conferences, so I meet so many different people everyday. I am a talker so I just chat to everyone who comes through the door. I just wanna be friendly to everyone tbh :) Pretty much sorted when it comes to chatting about blue badge parking bays, wheelchairs for hire, quiet places, ear defenders, helping a blind person around the building and so on... The only thing I truly worry about at work when it comes to disability and accessibility , this is probably going to sound funny, is calling the toilet the wrong thing to the wrong person. The disabled toilet? The accessible toilet? The toilet for disabled people? (FEEL FREE TO LAUGH AT ME but I’ve got it wrong so many times and it would be cool to hear a mix of what different people prefer!)

This is very interesting to me as one of the most patronizing things I've experienced is being told to use people first language by a British professor of mine and truly believing that it was better to do. It made me suppress my identity as disabled (I have multiple ones so it's very much something that's integral to my identity) for a long time. I really do not believe she meant any harm but to hear that in the UK you guys generally use identity first language...I wonder where she got that idea. I do believe she had been here in the US for awhile.

Oh I love this video already 💖✨

Thank you so much for videos like this. As an Autistic English and New Media students who want to use my skills I`m learning, to normalise disability and be a voice for a voiceless. People like you are great role models and the type of people I love to learn from in terms of content. Also in Ireland (or at least some parts) students with disabilities are to be referred to as students with additional needs, it's a new term that teachers and special needs assistants (SNA), (a term that I think is starting to be outdated) are being told to use. I know this because my mums a SNA, so I have first hand information.

Your videos are lovely, funny, educational and interesting. Dunno how you pull that off but i sure love them!

Black American here. I definitely prefer identity first

In my family, we say "ALTERNATIVE NEEDS".

I prefer to call myself an ADHDer, rather than a person with ADHD, because my brain definitely shapes who I am, and connects me with the rest of my family and many friends who also are ADHD. Also, I like how ADHD has shaped how I think, despite the difficulties, even though not everyone feels that way about their ADHD. It's a complicated relationship with my brain and how other people treat me because of it, but I really don't want that part of me to magically be 'fixed', I just want compassion for my difference, and some assistance to make my bad days a little easier.

I clicked on this SO hard!! I don't have a disability, but I worked with adults with intellectual disabilities- & in my phrasing, you can see where *I* stand on person-first language! But there's a BIG proviso on that: almost nobody I worked with knew they had a disability, & many couldn't have told me what they'd like me to say anyway. So I had to decide, & person-first seems more respectful to me, & was the professional standard. But if anyone says "please say I'm autistic, not I have autism", of COURSE I should & will say that! And I can absolutely see why people might prefer identity-first language- it does seem a bit like you're implying the disability is a negative. As for "the R word"... don't get me started. Say that around me & I'll make you wish you hadn't. That goes back to childhood- my mum taught kids with disabilities (mostly deafness), & lots became my friends, so I was very protective of them. And it does get personal- I don't have a disability, but I do have bipolar, & I'd really rather people say I HAVE bipolar than I AM bipolar. That's not my entire identity, thanks. But I'm not going to get mad about it. I only object to people saying shit like "I hate people with bipolar"- & people literally do say that, cos people are just fucking lovely sometimes. You learn to deal though- it just shows what an asshole they are. And it's one of the best idiot-radars ever :D

I am disabled and honestly prefer person first language. I honestly wasn't aware that I had a preferance until I watched this video, but Jessica is right when talking about the language and the examples she uses. Very interesting video, I did not know I could get help at the airport, I will ask for it next time I fly.

2 minutes ago! I'm early to a Jessica video!

Thanks for bringing up the difference between person-first and identity-first language. I had never considered that there was a difference. I promise to learn more about it!

Jessica- your hair is so crazy long and beautiful! Well, and your content is absolutely amazing. You are by far my favorite RU-vidr 💕

I really want the because gay merch but.... not out and not in a place where it’s completely safe to be

My school uses the term life skill kids.

As an autistic person with disabilities, I appreciate the mention and how you talked about it, which was spot on. Like, I don’t count autism among my disabilities because as an adult, there is nothing inherently dysfunctional about my brain’s wiring. I can do everything just fine. It’s other people who make shit harder than it has to be, for everyone involved. Much like you said, my POTS is my body hurting me, so, a disability. My autism has only ever been difficult because of how other people treated me, because I was Weird and Other and therefore in need of social correction (bullying). Nowadays, people only know if I tell them, which I’m generally hesitant to do because of how their attitude toward me can change. Or they’ll tell me I’m not actually, since I don’t match the depictions in media of a savant child in an adult’s body. *rolls eyes*

I'm a disabled person from the United States and had never even heard of identity first language until I started watching your videos. You have really helped me accept my disability as a part of my life (I used to always see it as something to fight against which made it worse). Thank you so much for helping me accept myself!