I Made A Bucket List To Overcome My Devastating Breakup 

The person who is more invested always gets hurt..

My heart hurt watching this because i understand the pain.

The thing about breakups is that it seems as if we’re only able to remember all the great stuff about a relationship, but we suppress all the bad things or the things that led to that break up. Our brains are our enemies sometimes.

I left a 12 year relationship and seeing her cry made me remember the sleepless nights, the raw agonizing pain, the nonstop tears, the anxiety and the fear of being alone. It is very hard to let go of someone you have become so intertwined with. With that being said, it gets better. I am in a new relationship and have been for 5 years now. The pain and suffering from my previous failed relationship feels like a fleeting memory of something that didn't really happen. I hope all of you who are going through something like this find peace and happiness again within yourselves. It will get better. Hugs!

The pain is not a joke. I am also dealing with an 8year relationship breakup. The excruciating pain is unbearable.

“People make their decisions based on what’s going on for them, more so than what’s happening for the other person” That truly hit home.

all these comments are making me feel a bit scared of being in a relationship wow...

God, my heart hurts when she cries.

16 yr relationship broke up in March. Took the wind out of my life and devasted me...I get it

Im really proud of you for making this video

I was with someone for almost 20 yrs....he slept with someone on my birthday 2yrs ago ...I ended it and walked away, all my feelings for him vanished it hurt but I had to move on...I'm a strong woman and I know my worth..I would never go back to a cheat ..I never doubted myself or blamed myself for him sleeping with another woman, that was he's choice...I wouldn't give him the time of day, I gave him a big chunk of my life...but life goes on...you seem like a strong woman too Hun, in time he will be a distant memory I promise...you still have youth on your side and in time your gonna be happy again I promise...😊😚

It took me 2 years to heal 6 months relationship and I finally I found someone who loves me unconditionally, but somewhere I'm still very afraid to face that break up trauma again.. It's never easy to love again once you are broken by somebody..

“Why couldn’t I give him what he was looking for. It makes me feel worthless” I instantly teared up. That was spot on with the breakup I just had yesterday

Got out of a 8 year relationship 2 months before the wedding...this was 2 years ago...not a single day goes by without thinking about her. I still know it's for the best...still hurts though.

Some things I have learned while reflecting on relationships: -We make the mistake of clinging and attaching very hard to our partners. While there is no limit when loving somebody, it is important to NOT build our lives around this person and making ourselves believe that our purpose on this earth is to love only them. This is the perfect recipe for losing our individuality and sense of self while on a relationship. It will make our grieving process extremely long and difficult, because we gave everything that we had to this person. Mistake #1. -Mistake #2: People can cheat, change their minds about you, change their feelings towards you, etc. It can happen, and it is absolutely inevitable. This helps to emphasize mistake #1, because the more that we "commit" to somebody and give them our everything, the more painful it will be to accept a betrayal and a separation. When in a relationship with somebody, you must be aware that things can change at any minute and not convince yourself that it's impossible that your partner could ever betray you or abandon you. There IS a chance that those things could happen, so change your mentality about relationships lasting forever. Not all of them are mean to last. Some of them are meant to teach you to let go and to love yourself, the hard way. -Being alone is NOT the end of the world. Enjoy being single, because once you become addicted to the freedom, you won't go back. This is the only way that you could ever be 100% happy with a future partner because you'll love to be on your own, and a partner is just additional company and additional happiness. They are NOT there to fill empty holes in your life. If you let your partner fill your emptiness, you are avoiding the responsibility of loving yourself and of filling your own happiness. Other people don't exist in this earth to give you happiness, but to ADD to the happiness that should already exist inside of you. This will make letting go much more easier.

I’m going through this same pain right now. My 4 year relationship ended and he moved on with a new person. He was my best friend. The pain is unbearable.

My boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me two day ago cause he met someone else then RU-vid recommended me this video. Watching your video is so inspiring.

“He was my best friend..” that’s when us women go wrong and im trying to learn that. We can’t make our significant other our everything. We need to have a separate life away from our partners and keep our friends, hobbies etc. when we get into relationships a lot of us tend to only focus on that and forget about our life before our partner. That’s when we feel alone because once that person is gone it feels like we have nothing. We neglect our own life for one person. Let’s not depend on one person to make us happy and fulfill our needs. We can fulfill our needs of attention/fun from friends and family, your partner should just be an addition to that happiness. Better said than done ..but we can’t afford to lose ourselves.

Went through the same thing two years ago. Been in a 9 year relationship and out of nowhere he fell in love with someone else and left me although I was so sure we would get married. But although I lost a huge part of who I was, I'm now in the best place of my life. I moved to another city, found more friends and eventually I fell in love with my co-worker with whom I'm in a relationship now. I lost 16 pounds, changed my hair, traveled more and am now happy. I found things I wasn't even looking for. So it does get better, trust me.

My 5 years relationship ended last year. We promise to make it till the end but he fell in love with someone that I knew and never suspected. Which literally got me hard to death cos i never knew she could be the one. And which cause me more pain was knowing that he left me in worst when i needed him the most cos it was the time for me to build up my career which was the only first time i needed him as a life supporter but everything failed. He did not stand by once when i always did for him. That's what shows i deserve someone far better. I'm moving on not moved on but will soon be. Shout out to all the girls out there - you're beautiful in your own

He didn’t “allow” you into his life you allowed him into yours

you thinking that the type of relationship that they were in was wrong... does not take away from the pain that she is feeling.

So hard living knowing that person is still living their life without you😞

what makes me not wanna have another relationship.. being single just makes me happier

I just got out of a 7 year relationship and am still working through it. Congratulations on making something positive from something so painful and difficult. Thank you for posting this. It gives me a little hope and something to work towards.

I am so sorry that this happened but I’m glad that you were better now than before.

It's really like someone dies. But they're not dead. They just don't want you. If you can make it through a bad bad breakup it grows you into a stronger person. Good job girl.

I just got out of a toxic relationship. I left him and I can't stop crying. watching this gave me hope and told me it was okay. thank you for sharing this ❤️

Maybe it's not really related to the video, but my dad gave me a very important advice: "A man who loves you will make time for you, will want to marry you, will want to introduce you to their parents, will respect you and will support you. If he's selfish in any way then he doesn't love you. Look at me and your mom ! She can be a handful, but I love her so much and she makes me happier than I've ever been." My parents celebrated their 28th anniversary and still crazy in love.

"I will be getting tattoo of my cat" was the best thing I've ever heard.

“For 4 years we were in a long distance open relationship. We were willing to take that risk because we were committed to each other.” ... honey that’s not commitment

She's done a great progress within 4 months. So much of enlightenment. It took me 4 years...to stop crying, another 2 years to heal, and now, I accept what I've got. I am now thankful for that phase of life, because it's a lesson.

It’s just scary to think you can waste YEARS in a relationship and for it to just end. All those years of nothing. I hate relationships.

Update 2: 4/11/20 - I don’t want him back anymore, my life has turned for the better and being a year out now from when it happened Im not looking back. I want and deserve so much better and I’m looking forward to the future. I really hope my story gives hope to someone who needs it. I hope you can read my words and see how broken I was and how hurt I was. But I hope now you can see these words and know that things really do get better with time! I’m sending good vibes all of your ways and nothing but the best ❤️ Update 1: - 2/18/20 - the girl he left me for cheated on him with another guy 🤷🏻‍♀️ My ex husband left me for a girl that he met at work that he swore up and down he had nothing going on with. Watching him with her was the most devastating thing because I still loved him and wanted him back. Seeing him happy with her, while I cried myself to sleep was terrible. I felt so alone and so broken. Well now it’s been 7 months since then and our divorce is now final and he is still with the girl he left me for. 7 months later tho I’m doing okay. I still love him and I still miss him but I also know things happen for a reason. I don’t know why he picked her over our marriage. I don’t know why I lost someone I wasn’t prepared to lose. But it happened and I’m here and even tho they’re “happy” now he built a relationship with her while we were still married & to me that isn’t a case for happily ever after. He didn’t have to face the hurt, the pain, the heartbreak because he had the next person lined up. However I did feel it all, so I know one day he will face this and all I can do is move forward and know that I was brave enough to get through this on my own and not need to find someone else to do that. Stay strong, it does get better ❤️ Thank you all for such sweet encouraging comments 🥰

Grieving now... and promising myself that I'll NEVER let anyone to put me thought this pain! NEVER! NO ONE IS EVEN SLIGHTLY WORTHY FOR THIS PAIN! NO ONE!!!!

I was in an 8 year 4 month relationship at the time when this video was first published in September. I had seen it pop up in my subscriptions but added it to my "To Watch" playlist, but never clicked on it because of the sheer number of other videos I had wanted to watch first. A month later, we split unexpectedly in a cafe near where we had our first date. He cried, I cried. My heart would ache everytime I scrolled through the videos in the "To Watch" playlist because it would be something relatable to me but I wasn't ready to accept that the relationship was actually over. Today is 6 months after the breakup occurred, and I finally gathered enough courage to watch it. I still feel sad and you bet I shed a flood of tears. There were countless times I wanted to just reach out through the screen just to give Lillian a hug because the pain is still so raw for me after all this time. Lillian is so strong to have gone through something so life shatteringly traumatic and still have the courage to be able to document her healing process for those that are in dire need of some comfort. The main message I gathered from this video that is the key takeaway is that pain needs to felt before it truly goes away and that as time passes, the ratio of the duration of the relationship will gradually become less and less. For example, I am currently 25 so the relationship that I was in was approximately 30% of my current life span but by the time I reach (hopefully) 100, it will be a mere 12.5% relatively speaking. For all those that are suffering right now, just know there is someone out there that will be there for you no matter what. You can always send me a message as well, always here to work through these complex emotions together. Stay strong!

Wow imagine her ex watching this. I'm so glad she's coming to terms with this break up, I hope she finds happiness with someone else.

"He was my best friend" That hit me so deep. Because he was my only friend... My best friend...

The second she mentioned the “ open relationship “ Part in the beginning, I was like (first warning) I don’t understand why people think that “an open relationship) is okay an acceptable.

The pain is not just emotional but also physical. It hurts. This is unfortunately why I go into every new relationship knowing it will end eventually 🤷🏼‍♀️

..I ended a 8 years relationship. You will all move on. I promise.

i feel so bad for so many people in the comments. time heals, and you’ll all find happiness one day.

I got out of a 5 and half year relationship, she broke up with me. I might honestly be the only guy in these comments, to be honest, but this video has me making a bucket list. thanks for this video, I know that better is coming for me.

My mentor told me : if he don’t marry you after 3 years of dating - leave him . He is there for the good times not a long time .

Mine was 3 years and it’s a huge significant void I think we mourn the life we think we were gonna have more than the man himself

When she said she was getting a "moon phase" tattoo, I thought she was getting this: 🌚 (moon face) 😂

I just want to give everyone a hug that is going through something this painful. A break up is exactly that, a break inside your soul. But know this, you will gather your incredible spirit back up with the knowledge of things will be okay. And this break up will eventually fade and you'll wonder where they are and hope they're okay and you'll realize you're okay. Hopefully with a smile. Love you guys

I feel you 2 months before our wedding I found out that my Ex boyfriend is cheating on me we’ve been together for almost 6 years It feels so devastating After few weeks I still forgive him and give him another chance . after few months the girl texted me saying that she was pregnant with my ex boyfriend. I was so hurt. Once someone cheated on you that was uncontrollable, don’t blame your self for what he did . He choose to hurt you it was not an accident. Prayer works all the time Peace dust to all of the broken.

The point of this video was NOT to determine if: 1) you believe in open relationships 2) you are surprised they broke up 3) you feel sorry for her or not The point was the share emotion...although painful...so others can know they are not alone. Her feelings are valid. Stop being toxic.

I genuinely feel so bad. And I thought a few month relationship breakup was bad enough. I cannot even comprehend the amount of emotions she has gone through. So much respect✊✨🌟⚡️

I just broke up with someone. We have been in this on and off 3 years old relationship. He is the first person I have loved, my first boyfriend. I'm 28 years old, identity as demisexual, and he is the only person in all this time I have ever grow feelings for and felt physically comfortable, attracted, and safe with. I know I made a lot of mistakes and we were too different to be together, but I was way more invested than him. He came back to me after 3 months long break up, and I accepted him back. We traveled together to Colombia, the frontiers got closed because of the virus, he left and I had to stay. He left me in Colombia. I had never been alone before, let alone in a new country. I didn't resent him but it did show me he was never going to treat me as a priority. We were freelancers so he didn't even need to go back for work but because he was renting a place with a roommate and didn't want to lose the money. I get it, its money, but I literally stayed when I could have left because I was afraid he couldn't find a flight. In the end, he found one and returned to his country and I couldn't return to my own country. He always told me I needed to wait. Wait for him to calm down, to finish working, to finish eating, to finish resting, to finish everything. And I was willing to but I asked him to speed up a little bit. His response to that was that I made him feel he wasn't doing enough and I wasn't recognizing his effort. That was not my intention but to let him know how to take care of me. I hope he never returns to my life and I have the strength to reject him if he tries to. Some people are not meant to be together because they dont understand each other, no matter how much they love each other. I didn't feel his love despite him saying he was showing it to me. He didn't feel my patience even though I tried hard to wait and give him time. Greater things and people will come, and I'm glad I have the freedom to greet them and enjoy them from now on.

"Our 6 years together will only feel like a fraction" THAT IS SUPER POWERFUL... whenever you lose something, you will get something greater. It is hard to let go but its harder to hold on to something that doesnt serve you.. 💪💪💪 this video is soo inspiring.. sending my love to you 😘😘

My boyfriend of 10 years left me on the day he got his PHD. He asked me to wait until he would receive his PHD to marry. It was an international long distance relationship and I waited to have kids too as he told me to wait until we were 34 to have kids. When I was 32, after 10 years of courtship, he stopped talking to me. After 3 weeks, one day I saw him online on Google chat, and he replied that he was graduating today, receiving PHD, and wanted to breakup. He said since he is no longer a student, he wants to enjoy his life. That was it. 10 years over a chat conversation. I am still in pain that he did not have a decency to meet in person or at least over the phone to end the 10 years of courtship. He said he doesn’t owe me anything. It’s been 6 years since the breakup and I still haven’t moved on, I still love him and my heart still aches. I blame myself for how I’ve lived for so long believing a word of a man and waited to have kids by sabotaging my own needs in life as a woman while I respected and supported his needs and goals in his life. He has been living his life as a free single man, getting a great job with PHD with high salary. Life is unfair especially for people who trust and love others deeply. I feel that people who only care about themselves and don’t love deeply win in this life. At least, this man made me see life this way.

Two years ago, my 6 year relationship ended. He left me for another woman. I have accomplished so much since he’s been gone! I never realized how our relationship was holding me back. I still miss him but you’ve got to move on. I did tons of new hobbies, dug deep into learning about myself, talked it out and blocked him and never looked back. You will realize that this is a blessing in disguise. Take the lessons and enjoy the new, higher version of yourself! You got this ❤️

I wanted to hug the "six year relationship girl" so bad, I could feel her pain. I know how hard is it when nobody helds your back in that time. Healing is hard.

My best friend ended an eight year relationship and went to Europe by herself for seven weeks. She also went to therapy and realized that her relationship was toxic. Now she is studying to become a nurse.

I just broke up with my bf and got notification about this video, i dumped him. but he cheated 8 times in past 2 years and i couldn't take it anymore. i still don't know if it's the best or not.

This is why people need to define themselves outside of a relationship that as much as you exist as a couple you need to exist and cultivate yourself as your own person so that you’re not lost if that relationship ends or god forbid something happens 🙌🏻

I cried so much watching the "saying goodbye" part.

Thought she said a ‘moon face’ tattoo. Just as well, could have been a very different result. 🌚

I remember my first real breakup. I was crying daily for a few months. Legit took about a year before the sting was gone. Now years later, I can recall it without anything happening. Time heals for real.

You lost me at “open relationship”.

"It just hurts because I was so sure I will be with him", I cried so much hearing that cause it hits home. I broke up with my boyfriend the 20th of March, I caught him with his " friend " hiding in his bathroom with just a tshirt when I gave him a surprise visit cause I was feeling so bad that night. My whole world crumbled that day, we talked marriage and children and I had everything planned out for the next 5 years. I just feel numb, hurt, betrayed whenever I look back at all the lies and manipulation he made me go through. I know many people are saying it's good that I found out his true self and that i dodged a bullet since we didn't follow through. But i just feel so hurt and i feel like no one gets it. I was madly in love with him and i really thought he was the one, my one and only.. and I hate that somewhere deep down I'm still hoping the man I fell for exists in him. The thoughts are killing me, why would he lie? Why would he cheat? Was I not enough? I felt off so many times recently and it was because of that one girl and I asked him upfront and he kept on saying she is just a friend and nothing will ever happen. I asked him if his feelings changed towards me and he said never. I had a talk with him recently saying i understand in relationships feelings change sometimes, and you choose me at the start but I want to ask if you would choose me still and he said he still loves and chooses me... he was off recently and he kept on blaming it on him not finding a job and his family issues so I was feeling bad for him and trying my best to be there for him and support him, and that's what I got... it hurts so bad, the worst part is that I hate him so much but I know that I still love him so I feel sick

“I’m excited for when it feels like a pleasant memory”

"it just hurts because I was so sure I was going to be with him" that's exactly what I'm going through right now 😢😢😢

This makes me wonder how the other person feels about this video

Seeing this makes me physically feel the pain again. We broke up in august 2019. I finally blocked her on everything 3 days ago after an argument. She did some very very terrible things to me. Things I never thought a human could do to someone they claim to love for that long. I keep seeing our photos and I am mad at myself for letting go just a few days ago when I could’ve let go when we broke up. Do yourself a favor, take time from them. I know you don’t want to. I know you are used to them you want to know what they are doing, who they are with, do they miss you too? Are they crying right now as the memories go through they’re head? Did they lurk on your social media this morning too? I wonder if when she eats French toast with honey and strawberries does she think of me and how that was our favorite food to eat when we had the munchies. It’s deep. Love is a very deep and scary thing. It was painful, it still is. I am so scared to put my heart into someone again. But I do know that I don’t want to stop loving and living life because of this. I am too young and have too much to experience, too many people to meet, and many places to go. One other person does not define you.

when you said, “ it felt like it took a chunk of your life”. This hits home after being in one for 20 yrs. I felt your pain throughout all the phases and when I got to the end of this, I too, felt like it’s going to be all about me now. Hopefully, we can get an update on your progress.

I just put a shirt over my face and cried while listening to this whole video. I feel like I've lost myself and I'm dead inside. 10 years down the drain.

4:28 "I'll be getting a tattoo of my cat" I really like this guy.

I recently found out that my boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on me. He's been trying to convince me that he isn't cheating and I'm also pretending like what he's saying is the truth just because I couldn't bring myself to break up with him just yet. But I've been preparing myself for our break up for the past 2 months. And I know that he's never going to be the one to say the word, so I'm going to ask him to break up with me today. It's going to be damn hard for me, but I need to let him go now.

The greatest challenge in life is living true self love, as the primary way of living life. When people leave and we feel devastated its the greatest proof that we have yet to truly love ourselves first. Self love is the opposite of codependency and expectational conditionality. When we dance most freely our light and our love is the most powerful attracting force. Letting go is the best way to attract the right person into our light, always without the need to expect anything more than each day we may share ourselves with them.

After I have ended a 8 years relationship a few years ago, I realized I should not make so many plans and have so high expectations from anyone. So now I just live the moment, everything lasts for as long as it's supposed to and that is ok. People come and go, they stay for a while, teach us some lessons and then move on. Or they stay. Either way, the end of a relationship is only the end of a chapter of your life. It's not the end of your life.

Just got out of a 4.5 year relationship. I miss him, but I don’t see a life with him because what we had was very toxic.

Very touching, raw, and real. Anyone that has experienced heartbreak can relate. Thanks for sharing.

"He is happy somewhere else ." I can understand your feeling .. when everything is sure and suddenly everything falls apart.. But yaa.. it is the best thing happened in my life .. I grow much more strong

"Writing a letter and burn it" i thought I'm the only one that does this, not with relationships, with my fears sometimes and with some bad habits, i recommend this to you🙂

Took me 7 years to heal a 1 year relationship💀idk how many ill take to heal a 6 year relationship:/

I hope everyone has found some healing now. I understand the gut-wrenching pain. I’m still unable to date & form relationships. We had 7 years, that was also 7 years ago.

"He was my bestfriend" When she said that it hit home so hard i felt her pain and emotions. 😭💔

I went through a similar break up. We lived together, he had me convinced we were gonna be together forever and start a family, then he cheated. I was broken, but now it has turned out to be a good thing because I lost myself in him and was able to get myself back and learn how I want to be loved and not accept anything less.

What a grown woman dealing with break up. So proud of you

"After that we were in a long distance OPEN relationship for 3 years" and she thought she was the only one he was seeing? Seriously? Does she even know what OPEN relationship means?

You're such a young, beautiful girl. I can tell you cared a ton about him. If you can love him this much imagine when the right person comes in your life & never stops loving you back?

I was in a 10 years relationship.And I NEVER overcame our break up. The best solution was making believe she's dead to go on with my life.

Never have an open relationship, you’re just asking for trouble.

This was the real cure and remedy of my lingering pain of the last break up three years ago. Girl your so brave and honest hope I can follow your steps

the worst pain is when you lose yourself trying to love them & after you break up you don't even know who you were before the relationship, you're completely lost & cannot identify yourself or who used to be. it hurts.

trying to prepare myself to leave a 5 year relationship. it’s hard when u kno u put so much energy into it. i’m not afraid of leaving, i’m afraid of if i’ll be ok after.

When our relationship ended I changed my cell number. I started to invest in myself that's when I decided to start school. One year later who would of known I would met the man that would soon be my husband. Give yourself a chance love you first.

Thank you for making such a beautifully vulnerable video about how you’ve processed and managed your breakup. The number of people that you’ve helped, myself included, with the making of this video, is incredible.

I am so proud she has the courage to share this. It must be really hard to put it out in the open en be so vulnerable. Really an example for everyone who is struggling in their life❤

I got out of a 4 year relationship two months ago, and it was me who ended it. And I was afraid that I would regret it, definitely did for a while in the beginning. But after giving myself time to realize the good parts rather than the negatives, life just won't seem as bad as it is. You're strong and you know it. ❤

First thing I did after my 11 year break up was open my own Netflix account and I felt like a boss ! 😎

I ended my six-year relationship three months ago. I still cry almost every week. This video gives me hope. ❤️

Broke up after 8 years of being together. He found someone new & got married, it's hard but life is ironic. I just need to accept it & believe that someday it all gonna make sense 💪🏼✨

to whoever that going through this pain you will move on trust me

I broke up a 6 year relationshio/friendship in August and went to a music festival (something we would always do together) which literally cured me and saved me. After a month we met in a group of friends and we ended up together. This was the worst mistake and it set me back, waaay back. My point is, if you feel you are in a good place with yourself stay there. I made a mistake by spending a few hours with him because after that he just continued to ignore me and I was left with this feeling of failure. After a relationship, we must learn to be alone but also to be able to enjoy our own company. To trust ourselves and to grow

I am feeling exactly the same feelings am right now. We were in a 5 years relationship when He decided that our futures would never be in the same page. He decided that He wanted different things and that He couldn't wait for me anymore. We broke up a month ago and when I tried to keep our 15 years friendship He said It was ok, but a week later He said I was pushing him to have our relationship back and We just stopped talking and I decided that I don't trust him anymore, so we are, by now, strangers. I really enjoyed this video and I think that my worst thought now is that maybe I will never someone that much again. Hope you get better.

Thanks for posting this, I just went through a breakup 2 weeks ago and you have no idea what this meant to me to get this reassurance from you that it will be okay one day