Exactly 💯. It's the parents fault that parasite is an entitled narcissist. The parents think op should be the scapegoat and their reasoning is because op is gay. Hell no, I understand on not supporting gays but doesn't give anyone a right to treat ANYONE like that specially their own child/sibling.
Parents don't have to pay eigther! If she isn't gonna uphold EVERY tradition in her wedding then she doesn't get to pick and choose what " Traditions " she wants to Financially benefit of her. The reason her fiance called off the wedding is because he realized that he is a crappy person !! She didn't apologize until after he called it off therefore why anybody believe she really meant it is beyond me.
Don't pay for the wedding and begin to limit your family members who believe you should be a doormat access to you. Continue on with your life and prosper.
For those who don’t know how clever these bigots think they are after the wedding, the next events (and next is spelled ALL events you are part of from today to eternity) are framed that you understood and were perfectly ok with his absence at the wedding, so “they” know you don’t mind excluding him from their event. Their event: Christmas, Thanksgiving, holidays overseas, special birthdays… anything and everything.
7:05 Oh how gracious of her. She's willing to forgive OP for - *checks notes* - Refusing to pay for a wedding his partner is being excluded from. 🙄 Yeah that's not how any of this works. If you want OP to pay for your wedding then you need to respect him, his partner and their relationship.
I love how "being the bigger person" means kowtowing completely to the narcissist and ignoring your own wants or needs of feelings. NOPE NOPE NOPE! take the cost of the lost wedding and go on a marvelous vacation!
Its NOT your responsibility to pay for your sisters lavish wedding! It's your parents and HER responsibility especially if she wants something big and fancy. It's your money and you worked hard for it. It should not matter what your sexual orientation is, it should make no difference at all! Your parents should be happy that you are with someone who makes you happy and treats you well! If people in your family are "uncomfortable" with your domestic situation then the problem lies with THEM! Traditionally it's the BRIDES PARENTS who are responsible for the cost of a wedding! Not the brothers! Geesh! I'm so sorry you and your partner were treated so badly! Definitely NOT the A hole!
Ugh I can’t say this enough break the dysfunctional cycle. Families like this will continue to take you down to their level. If you decide to forgive them do that for yourself not for them. Move on to bigger and better life without the drama. They can sink or swim on their own.
Sara is a spoilt brat. In the first place she didn't want OP to help with wedding cost she wanted him to pay for all of it.Then when Op said yes, she said his partner of 5 years was not invited. Wow can you say entitled? It is selfish to plan a huge wedding when you can't pay for it and then bite the hand that was going to pay for it. Not one red cent OP you are not tah.
The sister is to blame, for being spoiled rotten, selfish, and unaccepting of her brother and his lifestyle. If she does a little self reflection and accept her brother fully and not just his wallet!
I have an older sister who's bisexual and anyone who hurts her is as good as dead to me. So I found it outrageous that people in the family are enabling the golden girl who's homophobic and bratty, especially her parents. Edit: I'm stunned. O_o This family is in need of some serious therapy. But at least things seem to be improving a bit. I really hope things keep getting better.
Baby trapping Tom would have been your fault. Your sister needs to be sent to a head shrink. Plus your family members that acted up on you cut off for good.
You are so NTA, stick to your ultimatum. Stay true otherwise they will walk all over you. You are in no way shape or form responsible for your sister’s happiness. That falls in her and her fiancé.
The pressure and hate from “your family” tells me that they do NOT deserve you as THEIR family! I am sad to say that they are terrible people and you deserve so much more out of a so called family so, create your own, one of YOUR choosing!! Enjoy your wonderful partner and your happy life without the dead weight they have been!!!!!
Story 1 NTA OP's sister can't take his money for her wedding but then exclude his partner from the wedding. OP's family have shown their true colours towards OP and his partner. They regard OP as an ATM and have no respect for him. Sarah is only apologising to OP because she wants him to speak to Tom to get back with her.
When i was a kid, I read a book that was full of sayings for people to remember. This story brought to mind, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." The sister did just that.
Your partner comes first, meaning they are most important, parents and siblings opinions mean nothing. Don't let them hurt your relationship, not a lifestyle choice. Love who you love!!! NTA
In the beginning I was expecting this to be a case of expecting him to pay for a big wedding to hide the bride and most of the family was actually broke. It was just a case of a spoiled brat.
Gods!!! I could not stand to have been born into OP's family or one like it!!!!! Everyone up in your business. Everyone feeling entitled to tell uou what to do. Thinking that they're the only right one! I would feel so overwhelmed and like drowning. Smothered, like they were stealing the oxygen from my air supply.
2:59. Op is the OLDER brother. I think that extended family needs to MTOB, except for the cousin who kept the (spoiled/confused) sister safe. OPs' story sounds like a "normal" family drama, that is working itself out, in the end.
Everyone trying to get in contact with Sarah - dude… I wouldn’t have called. She was fine, just having a hissing fit at being caught out. She would have come back when she was desperate
My mother does very similar shit with my brother and then ignores every reason I bring up. I've spent 8 years trying to get her to understand my side but she basically just brushes me off and tells me to "get over it and let go"
You don't need an elaborate wedding to be happy. OP's sister is more interested in the wedding than the marriage. I wouldn't put a cent into that inevitable trainwreck.
1) Don't bite they hand that feeds you 2) It is pretty uncommon for siblings to pay for weddings 3) OP needs to drop this toxic homophobic family 4) Spend the money on therapy instead 5) At the very least I wouldn't go to that wedding
OP should have cut off everyone who was against him and tell them that they can kiss goodbye to any further financial assistance. (I am sure OP has helped them before.)
Your happiness count too, DON'T PAY!!! You owe them/her nothing at all since you were trying to do something nice for your sister and she's unappreciative. Your money your decision, NC!!!!
Sis has some effing nerve. The audacity -Asking OP to bankroll her stupid wedding, then openly disrespecting OP'S husband and demanding he be excluded from the wedding OP would PAY FOR.
There’s an overall message that people have to realize and get this through their heads in most of these stories. Just because you are related to someone doesn’t make them family. Families respect each other and the sister in this case has no respect for her relative
I have a friend who is also a gay man and he is married to another man and they are currently living in Maine (outside of Portland), and he is the publisher/editor of a local newspaper.
Do not contribute they have no control over your life style Let your parents and Sarah herself pay for the wedding These people see so entitled.Glad to hear Tom is such a reasonable person She doesn't deserve Tom . Hope she will grow up soon.
Nope nope nope. I will never apologize for someone elses bad behavior. Ah getting disowned may not be such a bad thing after all. If they are so concerned about the money they can donate themselves.....
No partner, no money...PERIOD. She'll "forgive you"??! ha! Hope you told her that you don't forgive HER. Can't handle your choices...best you "protect" them....
It doesn't matter what the reason is. For Sarah to dictate who you can and can not bring with you to her wedding, while demanding you pay for it is WRONG!
Just because you have more money than the person getting married, doesn’t mean you should pay for the wedding. That took a lot of guts on the sisters part to even ask. Glad everything worked out in the end, may she have a healthy baby.
The writer shouldn't pay. Engagement is a period when you should be saving your money and planning. You can't ask someone to pay but exclude their family. Those who have a problem should pitch in.
If I were you, I wouldn't pay for a wedding if your partner is not invited. Your parents and sister should be happy that you found someone who makes you happy.
If your sibling, parents, and other relatives have this type of attitude toward you and your life partner, I would not give a single dime toward the wedding, and go complete NO CONTACT, period. You don't have to put up with a lifetime of favoritism and disrespect.
the one thing I'm sick of as a gay man is guys making a big deal about us checking them out. they act all offended or "violated" meanwhile they stare at woman like they're a steak in the middle of a kennel of dogs
Tell the rest of the family to pay for her damn wedding and take the $ you would have spent on her wedding and take your partner on an awesome vacation! Go NO CONTACT until you and your partner get sincere apologies!
