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I had a friend that I wouldn't ever want to lose, which I actively drove down the friendship to ruins just so I could "get it over with" quicker to process the pain faster of losing someone than try to mend it because I feared it, and felt like it's something that would happen anyway
bpd is more than big feelings. it’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt times 100. it’s so painful and it causes people not to like us due to how emotional we are. it’s so excruciating. i don’t think i’ll ever be normal or have good relationships
My wife has bpd. I think it's actually one of the reasons we work. I tend to have muted emotions, but her more intense emotions tend to help me and my less intense emotions seems to let her temper her emotions off of me. I think we balance each other. I love my wife and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing in our relationship. It just is.
Same, glad to see that it works for you. I usually can help keep her balanced, and she's able to help me actually feel something. We're just on opposite ends of the spectrum.
That comment literally made my day. Gut my diagnosis yesterday and there's so much awful comments about bpd and especially relationships with people with bpd
Hm, never thought ab it this way. No wonder I’ve always had a sense of attraction towards females with that kind of tendency. I guess opposites attract and them having extreme emotions is great complement to something I lacked
The psychologist that diagnosed me with mild BPD told me "Good luck finding a therapist to talk to, nobody wants to work with BPD people because you all are manipulative". Thanks dude lmao 11/5 update: I just spoke with a counselor who is referring me to an intensive outpatient DBT program. I’m super excited ❤️
literally my first doctor (the one who diagnosed me when I was hospitalized) wouldn't put bpd in my file as a diagnosis b/c she said I wouldn't be able to find a doctor willing to work with me. she sat there and looked me in the face and said "i'm putting suspected personality disorder" (or something like that) "in your file but your diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. I just want you to be able to find a doctor and not scare everyone off."
Shawna Keating Yep. Mine refused to even test me when I brought up the fact that I was having a worrying amount of symptoms (I still am). She said I couldn’t have it because I’m not horrible. 🙄
When Stacy said it’s shame, constant, constant shame. That shook me to my core because I’ve never heard a more perfect way of describing my bpd shortly.
“I had a desire to manipulate someone to be with me “ is such an amazing self realization to have. It’s very hard to admit and even see yourself. @6:06
A doc tried to diagnose me with this, and I'm completely opposite. I mostly don't want the other humanoid apes anywhere near me. If they are near me, they must understand my need for space, AND watch Space Jam with me.
As someone who has BPD, I’ve had a healthcare professional tell me that I might be faking my depression (I suggested it while in a paranoid breakdown). When I suggested I might need to be hospitalised, she said that I should slit my wrists and go to the emergency room and then they’ll take me seriously. She was someone I considered a friend because I’d been seeing her for 2 years. It still hurts.
Im sick and tired of these internet “profesional psychologists” telling everyone how much they support people with mental illnesess them tell everyone that “anyone who is showing sadness or is difficult should be marked as toxic and left alone until they magically heal.” This stuff is so common on instagram and makes me so mad. Thanks for the video.
Absolutely. And the thing about BPD is that you feel immense shame and guilt over your behaviour, so admitting it to yourself is bad enough, let alone to everyone around you. But when I was coming to terms with my manipulative behaviour in past relationships, my therapist pointed out that the word "manipulate" has heavily negative associations and usually implies malicious intent, whereas people with BPD are usually driven by an overwhelming load of emotions and the mind is desperate to grab onto anything that can alleviate it. It's still damaging to the people around you and definitely not okay, but at least that helped me to deal with the guilt when coming to terms with it.
@@sicksadworld1376 I fee like you may have missed the point of the comment. Of course it's not brave to manipulate, they were referring to the fact that he admitted doing wrong despite the stigma and shame. No one's trying to mitigate the experience of the victims here.
@@Sekovatkain didn't say that op was mitigating victims, i implied that it's wrong to call abusers and manipulators "strong" and "brave", no matter the context. also, as a victim of abuse from a borderline, i feel pretty mitigated.
@@sicksadworld1376 Ah, I see. I'm sorry you had to go through that. In that case you probably have no reason to empathise with people who have BPD, and I understand that. I know being the victim of abuse (emotional or otherwise) is traumatizing, I've had my share as well. All I can say is that recognizing your toxic behaviour is the first step for changing it, even if you can't take back the damage you've already done. And that can be hard too. Still, I'd rather we encouraged the will to change than stigmatized people forever.
I have BPD. Im constantly empty and I cannot accept love from others because in my mind, they have ulterior motives. I grew up with a narcissistic mother, who to this day, will not change. She triggers my BPD every day, and its always all about her. Thank goodness I have two wonderful therapists and a good, solid group of friends at my new recovery home. Plus, my cat doesnt think im so bad, either ❤️
As a teen with BPD I grew up thinking something was wrong with me. I never had anyone around me feel the way I did. I would just feel this overwhelming amount of emotions from something so small. It’s hard for me to understand many things others can just overlook. It felt like I was just going in circles. I was in 5 hospitals before finding out what was really happening. I hope to learn how to control or try to control my actions from my emotions.
i relate to this so much. ive had undiagnosed bpd my whole teenage life and only recently got diagnosed with it at 21 so I'm just about learning to cope and heal and I'm really hoping you're doing well on your journey as well 💖
I hope you’re doing well after your stay :) I’ve been to a couple hospitals and I know they don’t always help the most so I really hope you’re doing well
hope you’re doing well! haven’t had the best experiences with hospitals in the past, but i’ve met my bestfriend during a 4 weeks stay. couldn’t be happier that i finally found someone i could relate with.
Both I and my girlfriend have BPD and what helps us a lot is noticing and supporting each other when we are falling into a hole or feeling overwhelmed, sad, abandoned or angry. We talk it out and reaffirm to each other that we love each other and that we are not broken or unfixable. We need to support each others emotions more than a "regular" couple but we both agree that we have never been in a more stable and healthy relationship. I plan on proposing during our trip to Japan next summer. I know she'll say yes.
I have BPD and while I'm in a stable relationship it is VERY hard on not just myself but my wife.... I can literally go from fine or happy to crying or screaming in anger.... I also have autism and ADHD while with autism meltdowns it can make my BPD look SO MUCH WORK
I understand your pain so much. I always am regretful of letting my emotions get so intense. But I’ve never been diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I have multiple issues as well.
Can we please talk about how people with BPD are often the ones being abused in a relationship instead of the other way around because it's so easy for toxic people to take advantage of? They're not always the villains.
It’s really sad about how many people only associate bpd with manipulative and toxic behaviors. Bpd roots from childhood trauma whether emotional or physical and I think that people try to ignore that with a really narcissistic attitude.
Except it's usually the other way around. And because of unique issues with BPD often people with BPD will walk away feeling like they were the ones who were abused when in reality it was the other way around. Because of black and white thinking and issues with shame and guilt, many with BPD will block put their own behaviors. Misremember them or not remember them at all. They will also wrongfully see other peoples normal behaviors as being abusive or controlling when in reality it was the exact other way around. They will literally create false memories to justify their own behaviors. It's a terrible disorder and I'm not saying people with BPD aren't ever abused but abuse and manipulation from people with BPD is almost inevitable. My ex wBPD once told me that her kid was pitching a fit and that she thought she might hurt her and wouldn't care at all. She told me that she spent thousands of dollars on her exes credit card and that he deserved it because he was mean to her. This was after admitting to me all the terrible things she had said to him that caused him to be mean to her. It's a terrible disorder and I do empathize with anyone who has to live with it. But I more so empathize with the people who have been victims of someone with BPD.
@@mariannev9869 nobody is trying to ignore that BPD is caused by trauma. The problem is that doesn't excuse terrible and abusive behavior that comes from people with BPD.
@@nameunknown7 but when you are out through such trauma at such a young age (when your brain is developing), you are out into a position where you think that this is how people behave and how love works from family which can cause you to treat others like that without even thinking about. Keep in mind, this is literally a mental disorder. It can excuse multiple behaviors because extreme anger is one of the main symptoms of bpd. People with bpd have extremely strong emotion and take everything 100x stronger than most people. The point is how so many people only label people with bpd as abusive which ruins the entire understanding of it. Once again, because of the intense emotion, when a pwBPD hears that this is what people think about them, it makes everything worse. It makes THEM feel like the problem that should be gotten rid of rather than their behavior. Because of the brain development that occurs during the physical/emotional trauma, that is how our minds are developed. It can put beliefs in a distorted view (more symptoms like unstable self-image, black and white thinking). People with BPD can’t just control and calm down the behaviors they have and in most cases don’t realize it until a lot later on.
It would help so much to see a “I spent a day with ADHD people.” ADHD is so misunderstood to the point where people think only kids and males can have it. I could have got diagnosed so much earlier if there wasn’t such a stigma surrounding it! (edit: ALSO IT’S ADHD MONTH :))
My teacher from last year has ADHD and some of my classmates took advantage of that she really struggles trying not to be distracted by the kids talking over her but knows how to manage her time
emma rosalie so is autism, and he already made an episode with that. i think the dynamics can add more information, and even though there are very different symptoms, the core ones are mainly the same (inattention, executive function disorder, hyperactivity, and others [judging he would call combined patients, who have both inatention and hyperactivity])
I watched this when it came out and thought I was very similar, but didn’t question it. Now two years later and I was diagnosed with bpd. Rewatching this really helped me come to terms and made me feel less alone. I’m so thankful Anthony does these videos
I might be perfectly fine one moment and then my friend will say something that I perceive as even remotely negative, and I start to distance myself often without even realizing. I am constantly overanalizing facial expressions and the tone of someone's voice for traces of anything other that happiness and if my brain thinks it's found it then it's game over. It leaves me with very few friends and no one to trust, because I always assume that they're mad at me or they don't care or they don't want me.
“Emotion Regulation Disorder” - dude, that’s a MUCH more accurate name!! I’ve been taught that BPD is on the same wavelength as sociopathy/psychopathy. This video is really eye opening.
This is much more accurate. I have BPD and am in college for Psychology research. When the topic of BPD came up, most students thought it was Sociopathy/Antisocial Personality. I heard a lot of negative comments about manipulation and craziness. It made me very uncomfortable
@@kolsoymoroboto I am currently taking Psychology and the way a teacher spoke about people with BPD... warning students that we should decide if we can handle the "extreme" disorders before we ever end up in the field "for our own safety". Logging out of the lecture didn't quite have the same power of standing up and walking out though
as someone who has it, it kinda is on the same wave length. its in the cluster-B disorders along with: narcissism, anti-social presonality disorder(sociopathy and psychopathy, theyre both the same thing) and histronic personality disorder.
Having been treated for BPD for a couple years now, I can say that even after recovering a little bit and learning to manage symptoms and irrational thoughts, the *worst* part of BPD is the stigma behind it. The moment people learn you have it, they seem to confuse you to be a narcissist or psychopath... it's really upsetting. Other than that, it's always been the overwhelming fear that you'll never get any better and that everyone will leave you.
Many psychologists don't agree with calling it BPD because it's a really poor representation. Emotional regulation disorder doesn't exactly sound great either but it's more fitting than "personality disorder" and "borderline" makes it sound as if we're always teetering on the border of crazy town and that everyone around us needs to sleep with one eye open.
@@self-care_warrior look up "female hysteria" , this wasn't that long ago in history. Now look at BPD and the drugs and blame for your own trauma. Same shit.
I used to have BPD. I’ve heard BPD used as an armchair diagnosis and insult, by the people around me, not knowing that I had BPD. I have tried my best to suppress this part of myself, because I knew that if I showed the people around me this “dark side”, they would all run away. The people that I have shown this side all have. It takes so much effort to just stay alive, to suppress these mental illnesses for the comfort of others. I used to think I would rather just die, existing in this pain was just too much. But with a lot of self awareness, reading a lot of self help books, visiting a psych, going for therapy, taking my meds every day, I have improved so much. I am no longer diagnosed with BPD. It’s not easy, it took me years. But I just want to let all the people who have suffered this same illness know that, there is hope. It is possible to come to appreciate this life and all the things in it, in spite of your illness. Sending love to all the people suffering out there, you can do it. I see your efforts, trying to stay alive. And I am proud of all of you. Keep on the good fight, and never doubt that you deserve as much love as any human on this planet, in spite of your illness.
You CAN'T cure BPD, you still have it or you never had it, it's not something that goes away. You live with it forever, you just learn how to deal with it.
I would love to see you do a “I Spent a Day with Formerly Homeless People”. My boyfriend recently transitioned out of homelessness and I think a video with more people like him would inspire and make him feel less alone.
I would love this too! I'm a recovering heroin addict and was homeless for 3 years in a tent under the freeway begging for money w a cardboard sign. Being homeless is a traumatic experience and it stays with you. It's really hard to get out of it .
@@L._._ well done from fighting it and coming out on top but I'm so sorry that you went through that, it must of felt like it would never end and that every moment felt like an eternity I'm so glad you're out of that
@@dilarabasturk9698 a RU-vidr who used Anthony's video on Dissociative Identity Disorder to troll the whole community and actually triggered SO MANY people/systems with DID. Including one RU-vidr in Anthony's video DissociaDID and I know that Trisha was harassing their system and invalidating them and it triggered DissociaDID to the point they had another alter come into existence from this
I’ve never had a “Stable” relationship in my life. My father was/is a Narcissist and Sociopath caused by child abuse and my mother is the same diagnosis. I was an only child born into a cult marriage. I’m all kinds of messed up. I’ve had just about every diagnosis in the DSM batted at me over time since my first hospitalization at 10. I’m 32 and currently standing with 28 Hospitalization and on 16 pills a day (Most are multiple pills of one drug given throughout the day I don’t take them all at once) But it’s my BPD that causes me the most trouble. I have no one. Except my abuse ex I cling to because he’s all I have left other than my Cats. I’ve lost the will to live at this point. Not to survive. I don’t WANT to DIE I just have no motivation to go find a good life for myself. I’ve now been bed bound for 4 years and am desperately trying to claw my way out of this hole anyway I can. But when you’re being put down and screamed at all day it makes things worse. The worst thing is I know my ex could survive without me but I can’t without him so I have to humiliate myself by giving him money to help me because I have no one else who gives even cares. We had two kids together, my only two good decisions I’ve ever made was to give them up for adoption as babies to the same family so that they could at least have each other if I couldn’t be there and be well enough to care for them. BPD is a rollercoaster from hell with no seatbelt, you’re lucky if you survive at all and you’ll definitely be permanently injured by it at some part on the track of the roller coaster. Stay strong everyone. Don’t give up hope. Keep trying. I hope all sufferers don’t have to go thru what I do. Love and Light to All❤
i hope things are better now for you . giving you a big virtual hug, you deserve so much better, you are strong, you're worth more than what you think. i think explaining your disorder to ppl around you may help them understand you better.
What can also be mentioned about the gender gap are people being misdiagnosed. It is fairly common that women with ADHD are first misdiagnosed with BPD since there are quite many symptoms that overlap (impulsive behavior that can be risky or self destructive, emotional dysregulation, higher chance of substance abuse, rejection sensitivity, to name a few) . When I was diagnosed with BPD, the criteria almost felt like it was made for me, but as I got older and changed environments, I no longer fit the criteria. 6 years after my BPD diagnosis, I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (ADD). If I remember right, I also read that men are commonly misdiagnosed with ASPD or NPD before getting their BPD diagnosis. I would love more studies on this because I think it could change a lot in the medical world and how they look at mental health.
Funny enough it was the opposite for me I spent years thinking I had ADHD and after going through thorough evaluation they think it was really BPD the whole time
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the way that this was worded really threw me off. We don't *need* anything. Talking about your struggles, especially to such a huge audience, is hard and scary and really stressful. He will talk about his life and his struggles when and if hes ready to and nobody should tell him otherwise. Please try not to pressure him to do things like this, even tho I know you don't mean it that way.
ella ! אלה I agree. The wording is a bit assertive... Because People shouldn’t ever feel obligated to talk about their personal struggles. Anthony would do anything for his fans, I feel like the implication could put pressure on him.
We don’t ✨need✨ him or anyone else to open up about anything. Please stop looking at these people like disciples of mental health, Anthony seems like a great guy but there’s a difference between a stranger venting about their personal life for 20 minutes in front of a camera and a real psychoanalytical breakdown of someone to better educate an audience
As someone who has BPD, this video made me cry. It seems like no one talks about it, and it’s so misunderstood. I was diagnosed last year by my psychiatrist, and even my dad who is an ER doctor did not believe that I have it. Even some medical professionals don’t totally understand it, and it’s so hard to get better when your own parent can’t get behind it. Thank you for this video. This gave me a lot of relief, truly.
Did your dad actually tell you he didn't believe you? Just curious because I know someone that says others don't believe her because they encouraged her to be honest with her therapist so she decided be honest with your therapist was the same thing as we don't believe you need help. I'm not assuming that's your situation just offering another side of the situation and hoping it may help someone
@@anniepalmerpercussion4050 Aww I'm sorry to hear that but proud of you for getting the professional help you need. Even though I don't know you I know your freaking brave 💪
I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had. Either because I cannot believe someone truly cares about me and I drive them away, or because they truly didn't have my better interest in mind and my disbelief led to finding out the truth. I'm going to destroy my friendships by constantly verifying their validity or I confirm that they were invalid, dishonest, and malicious.
A big danger with BPD as well is staying in toxic and/or narcissistic situation/relationships...knowing that toxicity will stay to repeatedly refuel itself having a willing host (being the person with BPD). Most toxic ppl fear abandonment just as much as those with BPD, so its rare to see either person leave the relationship to become healthier.
My sister has BPD and her whole life people has just labelled her as a “brat” or “looking for attention”, which makes me so angry. People genuinely don’t understand the disorder and categorize these people as overreacting.
My sister also was recently diagnosed with bpd. It’s difficult to get out of that mindset but I’m slowly learning and trying to be more empathetic towards her
what if everyone that blurts out the labels also have bdp, since they couldn't control their frustration directed to your sister? or even just 1 person.
Kristen i completely understand. It’s hard, and it took me into adulthood to accept her and actually love her, as horrible as it sounds. I love her so much now and try to help her in anyway that i can.
My girlfriend has BPD and we’re always talking about our problems to each other. My OCD and her BPD, the things that we’re going through and how we can manage it by helping each other. I’m always helping her whenever and however I can and she loves me for that, and I love her for having the courage to tell me these things because she feels like she can’t tell anyone else.
Lol your relationshup is opposite to mine, I have the OCD and my boyfriend has BPD. Same in the aspect of supporting one another. Makes our lives easier when we don’t have to worry about our partner judging us for our differences. He doesn’t have to feel constant shame around me which helps to keep him from splitting.
So my girlfriend of 4 months just told me she has BPD. I went to reddit and have pretty much just been told "run" or "your fucked". How is your relationship going? I'm just worried by all the negative responses. It's an overwhelming amount.
I love that Anthony is so open minded and he actually treats everyone like they are valid and I love that Edit: sorry if my wording made it seem that I think people aren’t valid. I was more trying to make a point that Anthony is such a nice human being and also, if I made my wording unclear I just thought it was nice that he doesn’t care because he is such a nice person... sorry again
Jxst Johnny yeah you’re right, but some people treat other people differently and I like that he doesn’t do that, sorry if what I said was unclear or sounded rude I did not intend it to sound that way
I’m surprised none of them talked about feeling empty, depersonalization, derealization, dissociating. I deal with those symptoms the most and it would’ve been nice to hear their experiences.
Came here to make the same comment. The feeling of emptiness is chronic and I feel it now more than other symptoms. Maybe because I learnt positive coping mechanism but again I guess every experience is different.
I have BPD and I usually don’t discuss these symptoms because I feel ashamed about them. So I can understand why they may have decided not to share about this part.
My relationship with BPD is so complex. My mam has the disorder. I know the pain it causes her and feel so sorry for her, but I also hate how she manipulates me and has since I was a small child. She is a victim of BPD, but in a lesser way so am I. It's so complicated and hurtful, and although I love her so much I cannot speak to her about the hurt she has done to me, because I know the reaction I would get from that conversation. It's also extra complicated as she is also an alcoholic, which exacerbates the issues. But no child should be stopping their mother's suicide attempts or being told they are hated, and then within hours being love bombed and cried on about how much their parent misses them. A horrible illness, for which the patients need much more support, but also their family.
Sometimes people might forget that just because someone doesn't mean to hurt others, the pain they inflict doesn't stop existing... My mom has it too, I know she's a good person, I understand her motivations and the nature of her disorder, I understand she cannot control herself; but the manipulation, verbal and psychological violence is still exist towards me. So yes, we can be empathic to them, but don't ever feel guilty for not letting them hurt you, empathy doesn't mean negligence with ourselves.
@@danielagutierrez893 Thank you for your reply, I hope you are doing well, and know that I understand at least in some way what you are going through as well x
Sounds like my mom so much minus the alcohol abuse. Watching her try to kill herself broke me. I have this disorder, so I wanna say thanks for your testimony
I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I know a lot of people with BPD and some symptoms I really empathise with - like the ‘shame’ part that the writer woman talks about. People with ADHD also always feel shame from loss of control and not being enough etc etc. Talking to my friends though I know the crossover isn’t that huge between BPD and ADHD, it’s such a shame that BPD has such a bad rep though, everyone I know who has it is so full of love and especially when they manage it and work on the behaviours that push people away.
@@Bimby-b Yeah I agree, I have ADHD and not BPD but a lot of what overlaps really really stood out to me. It just makes me feel so much for people who are stigmatized by it.
....or maybe people who had it in the past ? I don't think that'd be very ... appropriate? for someone suffering from anorexia to just talk about how they didn't eat today
@@Amber-ev5ui true but similar to drug addicts, like I’m sober but I’m still an addict. someone who has recovered from anorexia, despite having recovered they still have the disease.
When I was in college, newly diagnosed with BPD, I was in a psych class taught by a licensed, practicing psychiatrist. When BPD came up, she went on a long tirade about how even mental hospitals shouldn't bother to try to treat these hyper-manipulative, evil, incurable women. I was lucky that incident made me angry at her instead of myself, because that could have been devastating. She was supposedly reprimanded, but as far as I know, she's still working.
That's absolutely horrible!! BPD is so misunderstood and just because they find it difficult to treat right now doesn't mean they shouldn't bother! We've gotten better at treating mental illness in the past few decades, at least if you compare it to how mentally ill people were treated just a hundred years ago, but it's still not good enough. All people deserve a chance at a good, happy life.
I toke a psych class in highschool when I was at the height of my BPD and I'm very glad BPD never came up because I wasn't diagnosed yet and if that teacher (one of my favorite ones) talked about BPD and then shamed people who had it I would have been ruined because as soon as I know what BPD was I knew I had it just from how people described it and their experiences with it, some people suck I'm sorry you went through that
I know that this is an older video, but I was recently diagnosed with BPD. This helped me further understand my diagnosis. I always thought I was just really sensitive, but this is very comforting to me
I promise you if your mother's soul can speak to your soul right now. It would be balling its eyes out on its knees at your feet. Explaining how sorry it was forever hurting you and don't ever let the ilunless be a reflection of my real love and devotion. For you my precious child
As someone with BPD, I am ALWAYS a little hesitant when I see media discussing us, since we're so often demonized and misunderstood, but let me tell you, my little overly emotional heart is filled with joy right now! Thank you for giving us a voice and taking the time to listen, it literally means the world!
I honestly heard of BPD, but never actually knew what it was. Im so glad I was able to learn about it! I’m sad it is so demonized, it is not that hard to understand.
i started crying lol bc i've never been able to put it into that simple of a sentence. it was just an overhwhelming "finally" feeling that dropped fucking weight first on me
I've never clicked so fast. I have BPD and it's SO hard to find good representation of our disorder. The stigma around BPD is horrible. Most of the books you find on it are about getting away from us, how we're awful and manipulative and abusive and it's honestly so heartbreaking. I'm about to watch the video, knowing that I will find an interview that is fair and treated with kindness and understanding. Thank you for these videos.
exactly, It makes me want to distance myself even more when i see what kind of representation we have. an ex friend of mine stopped being friends with me because i had bpd
The worst part about bpd is having such an intense fear of abandonment yet you push everyone who's ever loved you away until they inevitably leave you.
This made me want to cry. This is something I've struggled with for so long, so hearing others share their experiences too feels both painful but relieving at the same time. Thank you for spreading awareness on this debilitating disorder.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, depression and anxiety in 2014 when I was 14. I never had anyone in my life who actively understood me or even wanted to empathize and genuinely help me, so seeing other people who struggle the same as me is so relieving. It really helps me feel less shame, and less alone! Blessings to you and your recovery! I currently have a boyfriend of nearly 2 yrs who has seen me in all my glory and never abandoned me, so it does get better, and there ARE people out there who love us back ♡
@BPD World thank you, theres always a voice that tries to convince me hes faking it or hes going to leave me but he FIRMLY stops that voice every time when he tells me hes here because he loves me and never wants to leave. I've been told that before but with him I know it's TRUE ♡
When Anthony talked about the self shame associated with depression, I felt validated. I often felt guilty for being depressed while living a very nice life. Like I was thinking about how people have it much worse than I do and it’s wrong for me to feel this way. Thank you, Anthony, for mentioning that.
I ended up having a huge breakdown from telling myself to suck it up because I had “no reason to be so sad”, and that my life was so “great” that I should be ashamed of being suicidal. Depression is really a monster!
I'm not diagnosed with depression but I feel that so much, the guilt is so so strong that I want to kill myself. Then I feel wrong for feeling that way because I have a good life and I take it for granted
@@d3adm3mori3s9 The best thing I learned is that you don’t need a reason to feel depressed. Sure, sometimes there can be one like if you lose a loved one that meant the world to you or something. But sometimes it’s just something else. It’s something bigger than just a reason. I can’t explain it, but sometimes you just need help. And it’s okay to get help. It’s crucial to get help!
That's what I tell my mom. There are people being murdered right now and I'm mentally unstable for almost no reason. I get triggered so easily and for what? People are literally dying and here I am having mental breakdowns because I try to get in the shower but the waters cold? It honestly baffles me sometimes.
I have BPD and it makes me feel bad when people around me leave. Thank you for talking to people like me about their lives. You helped me understand more about my disorder.
It's now BPD Awareness Month, and as someone who was diagnosed with 15, this is in incredible video. The love, the understanding, everythinh about this is wonderful. I'm now 20, turning 21, and I am in a fairly successful relationship for almost 4 years now. The number one tip I can give you is communication is key. Find different ways to communicate if talking is hard. You got this
@@BB-bw8tk you absolutely can. Even here in the USA. I am 26 now and was diagnosed at 15, reevaluated at 18 and again at 23. That's standard. Especially if you have a family history as a lot of these diagnosis are genetic.
The first time I came to this channel I was soo shocked,,I watched 4 videos just going through the comments,I was like WOW,,I just wish I found this channel earlier
please do “I spent a day with severe phobia disorder” as someone who suffers from an extreme “irrational” phobia, it’s something that drastically impacts my daily life and I would love to see other people who can relate to this and bring awareness to it Edit: thank you so much for everyone who has shared their phobias❤️ reading these comments have made me feel so much less alone in the struggles I go through everyday. Anthony PLEASE do this episode it would mean so much
Yes, that is a good video idea. I have Extreme Claustrophobia, I remember having nightmares of being stuck in a tight cave with no space to move around. Worst moment of my life
I was misdiagnosed for nearly 30 years as just having depression. Finally diagnosed a year ago with attachment disorder and BPD. I still struggle with these and more, but at least I am now medication free and can practice some mindfulness. I am very aware of others emotions, but unfortunately you will no longer find many in me. I say that I feel for others when they're having hard times, but I truly don't get to the level of empathy.
@@shelbyharper1124 To be honest, I don't know how much the medications changed my brain chemistry for good and if that has a lot to do with not having a lot of real emotions anymore?...
@Shelby Harper I guess I didn't totally respond to your question last time. Overall, I do feel better not being on medications. I was in a fog for many years and it cost me my family and my career...eventually. I still struggle with a lot of the same things I struggled with while on medication, including, thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. So, I don't think those kinds of things will ever change. I'm just trying to learn to live with them and live with the chronic depression. Trying to learn self love for the 1st time in my life. Again, overall, I think it's better for me and still working to be more self-aware of my thoughts and actions. Granted reality can be tough.
Maybe split it up into two different videos, one for PTSD and one for C-PTSD. (Could even do a third one specifically for war veterans that doesn't have to be about PTSD at all, I'm sure those guys have other interesting things to talk about as well.)
After seeing these comments I didn’t even realize I had C-PTSD (never knew the term). I was wondering why the treatment I was given just wasn’t working. But for PTSD it’s usually a one-off while CPTSD is usually a reoccurring thing like kidnapping or neglect (sorry of this triggers anyone). It feels really comforting to see others who have experiences like me.
NenitaLunita my childhood anxiety and depression turned into BPD. I was diagnosed wrongly with depression (or so I thought) when I was 13. I'm 15 now and got diagnosed with anxiety, BPD and bipolar this year. I just wanted to say there's nothing to be scared of or freak out about. It's rare that it does turn into it and if it does it's a slow process. You won't wake up one day like a new person. :)
Benji Neo thanks. I really hope my comment didn’t come off as offensive to anyone suffering from BPD or anything else. I understand and empathize with anyone who may be sensitive to jokes like this and please know I meant no disrespect or harm.
I found out I had BPD through a mental hospital, not through the place I was going to therapy for years. They always dismissed my explanations and say it would be describe by it being my depression or like “processing.” It made zero sense to me so, I of course ended up in a hospital and a doctor just flat out told me after asking a few questions that I had BPD. Brand new journey really I have a whole new therapy place I go too and met my new psychiatrist. Went through an IOP program. Next Monday I get to get in with my new therapist and hopefully establish a therapist as well as going through the proper diagnosis system, because I was told I’m high in some of the test I’ve done, for both BPD and Bipolar so it’s definitely a confusing process. And frustrating because once a proper diagnosis is made I can try to help myself better than just being stuck between two disorders not really knowing wtf is wrong with me.
My mom also had BPD so I understand the confusion but just remember she’s not trying to do some of the things she does and it’s nobodies fault. Stay positive ❤️
There is a great 5min animated video by Ofir Sasson titled just 'borderline personality disorder' that helps show more of the complexity of the disorder.
I've struggled with trying to explain BPD to my friends and family. After showing this to my husband he finally said "I'm so sorry that I have not been able to understand what's going on" he's always been there for me but now it is comforting that he understands just a bit more. To anyone who needs to hear it: You are NOT your disorder it is a PART of you. You are a WONDERFUL person and deserve to be loved.
I can't imagine how hard it must be for people w/ BPD. Having autism and ADHD has caused me a lot of suffering but I can tell that what these people are going through is even harder. I hope treatment helps people w/ BPD and evolves further.
As someone with bpd I feel so validated and finally humanized, the way Anthony talks about us is sympathetic and it feels so nice to have someone not only listen to people and learn from people with bpd but have a completely open mind about it and not completely assume we are monsters.
If it’s possible at all, I’d like to see you do Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD.) I notice that people demonize those that have this disorder too. We’re all humans, I’d like to see somebody talk about this without passing judgment
I genuinely hope this will happen! I wrote a dm to Anthony long ago about this but as expected he didn’t respond (which is understandable with the sea of inquiries he gets tbh). Thank you so much for suggesting this!
NPD is something important to learn about, for everyone's safety especially those who suffer from dealing with it! From my understanding, it's self-hatred turned outward.
Would anyone that actually has a diagnosis of NPD actually be interviewed, or would they just sit there any say “But there’s nothing wrong with me. Everyone else is the problem!”
I have bpd. I have never felt so seen. Thank you Anthony. I'm crying just watching this. It's so hard to remember you aren't alone. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.
DBT has been such a blessing. Along with intense one on one therapy, I am on a path that is way more positive. For me and for people around me. Being on my journey for four years now, I am still finding out how to deal with things I thought are normal, and are not.
Anthony: This is a serious issue Also Anthony: Casually crashes through the ceiling Edit: I don't actually think he's being insensitive, but I think it's funny.
@Steven Bristol you and your brother give me so much hope, I had a similar thing happen to me that you went through, for me its one of those things only I can joke about or else I have a panic attack, but I know other people who have gone through this kind of thing where they'll joke about their experience and they are okay with and some even enjoy when others join in with the jokes. Its so important to find healthy (for you and others around you) ways of normalizing and coping with any type of trauma so you can keep going on strong and loving and willing to share that love and strength with yourself. So thank you so much for telling your's and your brother's stories. I hope you two are doing your best to stay healthy and safe
i was recently diagnosed with BPD and have felt simultaneously relieved to have an answer, and also very.. well, scared, to be judged as a person all based on it's stigma that some people carry towards it. I'm still learning the very basics about BPD, and feel really overwhelmed about all of it; so for me, this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so happy to hear from these guests about all their individual experiences with borderline and to know that people who are watching get a chance to better understand BPD, including myself. Thank you for all the amazing awareness you bring to so many groups of people that are often misunderstood, and just the stories in general you give a platform to. I always love learning about all the different challenges the guests on your channel face, and all the unique ways they overcome them and persevere! Thank you for being such a good host and always handling every topic with kindness and respect 🤗
ily and anthony both aw i miss u on here and look forward to when you come back! but also no rush, im so glad you spent this time for yourself after everything, you needed that personal time! anyways ily
I was just diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago. I feel super overwhelmed as well because I'm trying to understand how to handle. And it doesn't seem like there are "triggers" so I still don't know what to do help. I go to therapy again in November. I feel so scared to how my family is going to react 😞 my husband is super supportive though. If you ever need to talk then I'm here for you. A support system is a big deal with an mental illness. ❤
Borderline here. Still working on understanding myself more, but I just realized I have NEVER planned a leaving of a job. It has always been a super emotional and on a whim experience where I leave that VERY moment due to some sort of emotional outburst
I was diagnosed with BPD when i was was 16 and have never heard someone elses story or met someone who openly said they had it. This video made me feel less alone and thank you for giving a platform for people to talk about it ❤
@@luvsaarr interesting, its in my medical records. Im 21 now and it still says active and i go to therapy and my therapist hasnt said anything different. Weird.
@@luvsaarr while it's uncommon, people are diagnosed in mid to late adolescence. While the risks of early diagnosis being misdiagnosis are higher than when you're older, it is still legitimate and it still happens.
I would love to see a "i spent a day with a person with narcolepsy" its so underrepresented, misunderstood and even ignored in the medical community! It would mean so much to see some representation, accurate vs the Hollywood version, as a person with narcolepsy!
I watched this before diagnosis, thinking I just had anxiety and depression, and after, and I’m just so shocked that I didn’t see it sooner. All of this makes sense. I love the way he handled this topic because I don’t feel bad talking about. I just feel like “wow this is relatable”, but it feels safe. So thank you again for this video. 💜
I'm a "quiet" borderline. Which honestly just adds an extra layer of shame and guilt because I still experience all of the symptoms without having the "proof" of big emotional outbursts. I feel like I'm constantly trying to convice those around me who only see the high functioning parts. This video is incredibly validating, and it brings me so much comfort to know that the dialogue around BPD is becoming less stigmatized and more accepting. Thank you ❤
YES. THIS. I have quiet bpd too and people close to me still don’t believe me to this day. i wish i could reccord whats going on in my head and my heart and show them. i wish i didn’t have to prove it all the time...
Me too!!! People dont know what happens to me when I'm by myself. One negative thought makes me so depressed I wanna die, or so angry I wanna kill, or just remove people from my life without giving it thought till it's too late
My first therapist yelled at me and was mad because we were making art and I didn't want to finish the drawing I started. That was when I was 16 and didn't go back to therapy till I was 28. Really didn't want to trust another one.
I’m getting my PLPC hours right now and have a borderline client. I want everyone to know that you are not the problem. Society has failed everyone in some way. People with mental disorders just have a different way of seeing the world. That’s it.
I had to do therapy bc of how I was left after some relationships with people with BPD. Completely fucked me up to the point where I couldn't trust people and completely cut someone from my life at the slightest behavior of BPD. It is extremely important to have therapists who know how to deal with people with BPD and people with traumatic experiences with people with BPD. Unfortunately both sides are victims in this situations like the girlfriend that the guy threatened to kill himself if she broke up, she was the victim of a toxic abusive relationship and he was the bastard. However he was a bastard bc he has BPD. So in a way both of them are victims
would looove to see “a day with social anxiety”, a lot of the time people can think we’re being rude and we dislike everyone but it’s not true!! it’s getting quite common now especially so i think it could open some eyes and maybe help some people to feel less alone! :)
@kris m you said when you were young. This shit "ends"? I went to psychologist for 2 years; I can control it now, but sometimes it keeps holding me. This happened to you or it was just a "phase" in your life?
I'd like to see this too. I'd be interested to see the various ways social anxiety manifests in different people. Many people who don't know might assume those with SA might just sit quietly and meekly on the zoom screen, not talking due to the anxiety, whereas there may be people who become hyper-talkative, extra gregarious, irritable, or just "normal". (which doesn't exist anyway!)
When I google bpd to find other people's experiences with it, I only ever find articles about how to deal with family members who have it, and how to deal with "their manipulative ways" 🙃
@@allienixon8959 Also it's very hard to find the right treatment for. If you can get treatment many times it's not from someone who actually has the knowledge to treat it. I remember it took nearly 10 years for me to find DBT and by that point I almost didn't do it because every psychiatrist and therapist I went to wasn't capable of making any sort of progress with me no matter how hard they tried. It takes someone with a very particular set of skills and knowledge to help with it. Also, for so long it was very hard to study scientifically because it was almost always misdiagnosed and nobody knew how to treat it when it was diagnosed. A major catalyst in treatments and understanding now actually came from someone who had it, logged everything down, and figured out the inner workings and treatment of it through their own trial and effort which is pretty incredible to me.
@@sourgreendolly7685 This is true, but it doesn't make the impact some people with BPD have any less devastating... I just hope more research can be done to really help people with BPD, in turn, helping those around them.
I’ve been diagnosed for over 5 years now and I just have to say.. thank you. Thank you for how you covered this and for bringing light to it Love your videos and how you speak on some of the hardest topics with the most compassion and understanding
Something that didn't come up during this interview that is important to know is that not all people with BPD are acting out in a way that can be easily seen! There are also people with BPD where the pain and emotional turmoil is first and foremost directed inwards, and there are not as many emotional outbursts. That can make it even harder to get the correct diagnosis, because by many people (including psychiatrists) BPD is always seen as something that is centered around acting out a lot and something that can easily be seen. I've been told by a psychiatrist who met me for the first time that "she didn't think I had BPD" after only talking for a short while, which is a mind boggling thing to me.
this describes me perfectly and i haven't been able to get a diagnosis yet because the symptoms i do have aren't too outwardly projected so a lot of people don't think i could have it but i always have all of these feelings that they described trapped inside my head because things like my adhd make me mask most of my emotions for other people due to fear of rejection and abandonment. that's what is so difficult about these things, because i know what's going on in my head but other people dismiss it because i direct everything inwards which can even make things worse sometimes not to be able to let things out.
a lot of times i'd get written off as "sensitive" when certain things happened that made my emotions be expressed in a more extreme way than others, which also contributed to me hiding a lot of my emotions and watering down everything i feel. i also had an experience where i told my therapist recently after not seeing her for a while that i had related to all of the symptoms for bpd and wanted to look further into it even if it could end up being something else, and she immediately told me "there's nothing else besides the adhd you're already diagnosed with that i could see you getting a diagnosis for." which then made me feel more invalidated because i know something else is going on, whatever it is, and just because a lot of my emotions get filtered for others and they don't see it right away, they won't even consider it.
I'm so glad I was able to catch this one. I think my mom had BPD and, if so, it explains SO MUCH about my childhood!! Thanks Anthony for doing these great interviews. ❤
"I'm an expert in destroying relationships, so let me tell you..." IF THAT ISN'T A WHOLE MOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. Edit: First of all - thanks for the likes. It's a subtle reminder i'm not the only one who feels this way. Secondly, for those who may be confused, i'm not glorifying the concept of destroying relationships, nor am i implying i (or anyone else) does it on purpose. To be called a 'demon' is a seemingly-now-deleted comment is a bit much. This is the stigmatizing that i was hoping videos like this with Anthony's non-judgmental approach would help alleviate.
I love it when I can walk away from a RU-vid video feeling like I've just watched something truly meaningful. That's how I feel watching most of your videos.
