I've found that worrying is a way of trying to control a situation, but your brain is so busy working that you can't actually concentrate on what you want to accomplish. It's debilitating, and it's been a journey to accept things as they are and find peace.
I think the worry wants to prevent something bad from happening, it's even a noble reason, because it’s to protect you... But it ends up being self-sabotage. Because by avoiding living the future worry, you live it all the time… I suffer from that too
My Dad had some great advice for when worrying is getting in the way of life. He told me to ask myself the question: "Is there anything I can do about this worry in the next 20 minutes?" If yes, do it, or if no (and with existential worries the answers is usually no), then allow yourself to breathe out drop it for the time being, and not worry. Now dropping something is hard and reflection is good, but that simple question has helped me loads as a quick check-in with myself whenever I'm really getting in my own way, so perhaps try it out :)
I'm also a worry addict. It's ironically a comfort zone constantly being worried....I almost treat my worry like a defense mechanism. Like nothing can surprise me because I've already worried about it. Therapy is helping for sure lol
I love that you referred to worrying as a “habit.” That’s actually a really cool way to think about it because you can change habits. Thanks for the shift in perspective!
Worring is like walking outdoors with an open umbrella waiting for it to rain. When you worry you cause yourself double the pain. Unnecessary worry before something that might never happen. And worry if it does happen. And in the end worry doesn't change things. Live life to the fullest 🌞
Am currently reading the Enchiridion by Epictetus and a couple of quotes from that align beautifully with the message you're sharing: "Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about those things" "Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life", I personally see this as the Greco-Roman take on the idea of Amor Fati... Have a lovely weekend people and thanks again Nath for another beautiful piece of work :)
I've been struggling with this as well and my therapist just told me, "las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas". Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your human journey ❤
Las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas = Things happen in your times, not in your expectations This is another motivation for learning Spanish. The idioms are so wonderful!
Me encanta esa frase, pero no sé si la entiendo del todo. O sea, 'en tus tiempos' se refiere a que las cosas pasan cuando te tienen que pasar? Pero que no necesariamente te pasan las cosas que quieres en cualquier momento dado?
It sneaks up on me. It’s a battle every day. Sometimes I forget to fight it. Every job I get I feel like… “well their not gonna call back.” The thoughts get worse. I have to fight for myself. I’m 57, I think I’m older then your parents. Just shows you it’s not something you grow out of. I know it had gotten better, but that’s because I don’t want to be crazy. Sometimes it can be a choice to really take self care seriously. We have to. No one else can do it for us. Thanks for the video. Cheers and have a great day!
crazy how we feel the same emotions as everyone. even if they are on the opposite side of the world, and speak a difficult language, or have problems completely different. completely surreal.
I usually don't really comment on any videos, but I just wanted to tell you that the content you create is so meaningful. I haven't checked out your channels in a while tbh, but have recently started listening to your podcast and it made me feel so happy, calm, understood and connected. I feel like especially nowadays, when life can feel so overwhelming a lot of the time because everything is moving at a faster pace than ever and the future seems so uncertain, I notice a lot of people are feeling super lost and you kind of bring this clarity and meaning to the table that is very valuable. I appreciate you so much for what you're doing! Peace and love from Berlin
Love the quote! This is the entire quote My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that... In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger - something better, pushing right back. Truly yours, Albert Camus
Totally agree with you Nathaniel! Worries are fleeting thoughts. They are not a part of who we are. You let them come and go. One favorite phrase I keep repeating to myself in such times is : " Out of this situation only good will come" as said by Louise Hay.
That line you said 'miserable but comfortable' hits hard! These topics you talk about deserve so much more attention and recognition cause we all deal with it but yet barely have these conversations!
Near the start of the pandemic I started meditation. I never thought it would help alleviate all the worry and BS I was feeling . But in my very first session it touched a nerve and made me cry. Made me realize all the stuff I was holding onto and the worry beyond the emimediate issues. It requires so much brain work, to fight that white noise of worry that can be overwhelming. Knowing it is there is half the battle. From there you can hold it back or channel it into something beautiful.
I wanted to share an affirmation that came to me during meditation last year, that has been helping me; ‘It is safe to feel happy.’ I hope it can help bring you comfort too, when you find your mind going back to that level (worry/stress). I’ve often tried to unpack my own tendency to worry; often a misguided protection mechanism. Our incredible brains, trying to keep us safe, running on outdated automatic programs. I’ve also heard that our brains/bodies can get used to the physiological aspects of stress, so when we aren’t worrying, something feels ‘off’. (Thanks so much for your videos, they are wonderful- thank you for spreading love and connection!)
Nathaniel: I totally get what you say at 2:50...the worrying degrades the quality of what should be an amazing period in your personal/professional life and journey. I have felt that way since my teenage years. There is so much more I had envisioned for myself in my ambitious (yet anxious) teens and 20s. I broke a number of barriers and was a rising star despite my worrying. But, there is a price to pay between our desires to push and grow and live the edges of our capabilities, and our emotions. At 52, I've accepted or overcome a lot but there are still emotional hills to climb and more accepting and pushing to be done. I doubt this will help you, but there is something to be said about acknowledging the worry, asking if you've done all you can think of to avert the crisis, and then trusting that All is Well. All my best to you and your dreams.
I saw this quote/explanation about overanalyzing things which is also related to worry on a FB page a while ago that really sums up my situation and fits me to a "t". It says: "I overanalyze situations because I 'm scared of what will happen if I'm not prepared for it". That is exactly how I feel.
I felt the part of can't connect to your true ''bigger'' self.When i'm meditating i'm having tons of thoughts coming to me,some of them repetitives,and my body may start shaking after a while because of the stress they put me through.
This video just appeared on my feed and i relate SO MUCH!!! I worry about many things all the time but lately about my health in extreme. This past week has been so so hard for me like I can't explain. It's so extremely tiring. Wow you said something so accurate "I always find something to worry about. it's Ilike this void that I like to fill" This is so me, all the video it's me and I'm crying bc I'm oh so tired. Mind control is the only way out bc we are facing the mind power in a bad and negative way that wears us out. I hug you. This is the first video of you I am watching.
Hi Cyn, I am not sure about your situation but this constant worry sounds like pure ocd. and there is a solution for that which is stoping rumination whatever the content in your mind is. It sounds very easy and straight forward. and it actually is. the start might be tiring a bit and tricky. It just needs a bit of dedication for a couple of weeks until your brain is reprogrammed to not take things seriously. It is crazy how your mind can change through this skill. Let me know if you need more information. I would gladly help.
You are not the only one worrying. When being so conscious about what's happening around, it's hard not to ! Trying to stay in the moment is hard. Thanks for sharing.
This topic is most underrated and least talked about. What I have likely understood is that the entire idea of breaking away from the thoughts and the chaos inside us is just to be aware enough to bring oneself back to your pivot, acting as a constant reminder and reflecting on what are things you can control and what you cannot. The thin line in between gives perspective. Thanks for sharing this piece and please keep going!. There is dearth of content like this and this is needed.
mystic/consciousness healer/energy healer here: the quality of knowing it doesn't have to be this way is usually the most important step - you've got a glimpse into where you're going. The second step is processing and integrating the part of you that does worry - experiences that haven't been processed fully (which is btw very normal and human), are usually the root cause of the worry. The third step is living entirely from that place of soul, of deeper knowing - and then repeating the process for any other internal experience of self that doesn't feel like what you know it can feel like.
As a constant worrier, I appreciate you openly talking about this. I also want to say that I appreciate how you’re able to so eloquently convey your thoughts in ways I don’t always feel I can. It definitely helps me a lot with my own mental & emotional processing. And know that we certainly feel the energy you put into your projects, it’s the reason we all continue to stick around 🙂
The way you ended up asking yourself the same question I have been asking myself for years is just so comforting: how to balance out the trade offs of having that intensity in order to worry less but still be true to yourself (aka the good side of being an intense person). Thank you for sharing all of this! So thought provoking! Stay true, stay present! 💜Ps: this project is awesome, unique and kind, enjoy the journey, it has already worked :)
I’ve struggled with worrying to, and I’m learning as well that when we choose to be mindful as you have mentioned in your other video that we are focusing our attention on us worrying about our thought and when we can notice that and choose to be intentional with saying I’m not thinking that thought and will make the video any way and enjoy it. That’s great that you are still choosing to make the video even when you feel differently. Im reminded of God and his word- be still and know. God Bless!
Thank you for sharing!!! I had a similar epiphany today as I am preparing to do something very similar to your international travels(how I found your channel). I am in the States for a handful of months, so I decided to take the time to enhance some skills like learning a second language and taking free online courses related to my career goals. I've been at it for a couple of months now. However, I noticed that these past few weeks have been getting progressively difficult. It has become hard to retain information, and the momentum I had significantly slowed. I discovered that my worries and anxieties have been creeping in to attempt to overwhelm me. I've been questioning everything I'm doing down to gaslighting myself out the goals I set for myself. Today, I recognized how much energy these worries have been using up within me. Simply recognizing what was happening has given me a boost to recognize the pattern and overcome it. As I said, I appreciate you opening up to your followers in this way. We are in this journey together!!!
This video inexplicably calmed me down! 😁 I guess if you hear somebody else openly admit to it, the little worrying voice inside of you shuts up and listens and the anxiety goes away.
You seem like the nicest most genuine person. I don’t really know why, but you remind me of Robin Williams. Loving the podcast! Thank you for your hard work!
I am a documentary film maker of 23 years old and soon to be dad. All the content on this platform helps me so much as I relate a lot to the topics and conversations. Thank you so much.
What a great sharing. I have strived to live my life focused on the present and also to be goal oriented toward the "unknown" future. I love the concept of "no back up plan" as well. One hack that has served me well is that during times of doubt or worry, I ask myself, "what is the worst thing that could happen?" And if I can believe I will not die from my my choices or pursuits, then I can dissolve all worry or fear, knowing I will figure it out, what every comes my way.
Empatizo mucho con todo lo que dices Nathaniel. Gracias por poner en palabras estos pensamientos. Una vez que dejamos por un segundo de lado todas las (tontas) preocupaciones que se inventa nuestra mente nos damos cuenta de lo bella que es la vida y de lo afortunados que somos. Un saludo! 🇦🇷
Wow I finally watched this video just in the right timing. Worrying has become so natural and in that sense comfortable as a highway of thinking pattern to be pulled on. The quote from Camus with the ending "something better, pushing right back" goes in line with the active way of inner strength that need to be consciously used in order to lean against the "pull" of worrying. Big thank to to Nathaniel for uploading again a video with his raw and supportive thoughts allowing to explored for oneself. The soundtrack in the back was so subtle and nice - on the point and wow. And you should know what you give to the world, makes a difference. Your values are reflected in your actions, which is so wonderful to observe. Therefore anyway: a backplan is not needed. I'd guess there are a bunch of guys who would love to be on a podcast with you ;)
I struggle with this so much lately: just as I graduated and made it in my highly competitive field, the field started imploding and less based on merit than ever before (I know we don't live in a meritocracy generally, but when I first set out to be in my field it was more or less a mini meritocracy...just extremely competitive), and since then it's been a struggle to swing from job to job, unemployment, watching less skilled people get the same jobs I applied to and networked over, and the depression that comes along with instability like that after spending over a decade working towards something. Even though I currently am employed the worry's only gotten worse every day at work and branches out like a disease people can smell. The craziest part? I never used to be an anxious or worried person. Depressed at times? yeah absolutely, but worried? hell I was so far in the opposite direction it was insane. Not entirely sure what switch flipped but have some hunches, but goddamn it sucks! Worrying all the time and concrete reasons to worry is a hellish existence
Okay. This is why I keep watching you! I love this transparency and vulnerability. You’re raw and real, and that makes you so relatable. Thank you for bringing us into the journey!
You're doing so amazing! I too battle with worrying and it steals so much joy and robs you of being present. Sending you all the calm and in tune energy.
You’ve got the ember started, keep stoking the little flame here. Keep going man 👍🏻 deep breath - you got this. And have more great conversations with people who interest you
Out of my own experience, I can say that to minimize the excessive worrying one should give himself a way out of any commitment or any plans that we have about the future. That means don't overly fixate your vision on one specific thing that needs to happen or you have to do. Be comfortable with changing anything in your plan at any moment. Flexibility of mind is important which gives you way to feel OK without the necessity of things going your way.
Having a backup plan when possible is wise. It’s an innate desire. People who have peace on a daily basis usually have a backup plan. Your worry is due to the life you are living. It’s part of the package so maybe just let it be. It’s human to seek security. It’s part of survival.
This is such interesting conversation! Thank you for sharing what's in your mind. I actually suffer from the same thing - although I do have ADHD. I've recently read that, no matter how much therapy you go through, or how many tips and tricks we try (I've tried reiki, breathing, running), it will persist until we cure our nervous system. It's like your body is used to/addicted to this hormones your brain release when you feel stressed, worried. So that could be something to look into. I really have no idea how to do this, actually, but I am super invested 'cause I really need the change. Too many years worrying about anything and everything, haha.
Living in France, you should check out working with a sophrologist. Sophrology is a mindbody technique that can help you to let go of worries and connect to the wisdom within. It uses gentle movement, breathwork and guided visualizations and working 1:1 is so beneficial (and generally lasts 8 to 12 sessions). ♡
I like that u talk about intensity because I feel identified, I've been always called intense and I think we understand each other. I've found a relief in meditation, I always think a lot and super fast, my mind is really loud sometimes so I have to sit down and meditate from time to time to find some peace
Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities , it's comforting to know that there are other people out there stuck in the same loop. Especially what you described in your breath work session , I try to control my worries with meditation and for the time being I manage to focus on my breathing and the current moment but sometimes there is this layer of not tapping into it just right exactly as you described. I am reading though Eckhart Tolles Power of Now atm and I think you might really resonate with it if you haven't read it
Why your topics are so relatable!! I am also dealing with same, constantly worrying about the things that actually don't make sense. Love your podcast project ❤️
I definitely worry about every possible detail. I worry about not being good enough or being misunderstood or being left behind with a personality that hardly accepts flaws, I need to constantly remind myself that it's fine and we're meant to not be fully good on every aspect and it's funny how sometimes in the midst of worrying and thinking too I intentionally throw myself into an embarrassing situation to face my social anxiety then embrace that embarrassment and move on😂😂😂.. I have so many different worries (darker ones in the deep), I also worry about having a job while I didn't get any academic education so I focus on learning more but then I worry about not improving fast and the fact that I forget informations fast. it's a never-ending list
For me it was annoyance not worrying, but I believe that the underlying point is very similar. I read a book - Homecoming by John Bradshaw - and it teaches you to communicate with your inner self, to hold and to let go. It's not like suddenly I'm superhuman now, but my underlying annoyance is gone and I sure can focus better on other things in life.
This podcast has been so great! It’s just the beginning so patience will provide:) I completely understand the way you’re feeling and wow… I go through the same feeling daily! But one way that helps me deal with it is look back at history(beyond my life) and see all the great things that have happened since the dawn of civilisation and remind myself that they didn’t let worrying get in the way of their achievements and I should do the same and that motivates me to put the worries on the back burner:)
Estuve leyendo los comentarios y tenes un hermoso publico gracias a lo que haces y como lo haces. Soy parte de ese publico hace ya varios meses, el contenido y el cuidado que tienen los videos es increible y hace muy bien al alma. Gracias por eso. Conecto mucho con el tema del video hoy, es todo un desafio no sobrepensar todo siempre y entender que no es la verdad absoluta esos pensamientos que tenemos. Mucha paciencia para con uno mismo es muy importante en estos procesos. Ser consciente y tener la voluntad para cambiarlo es un paso enorme. Saludos desde Argentina 🇦🇷🥰
Thank you for jet another amazing video! I have been watching your videos for a while now and I love how reflective and passionate you are. Lot of love from Germany 🇩🇪😘
It’s a new thing and that’s always scary cause we try and control, thinking thoughts can soothe us to stop worrying. Breathe and trust it’s always working out even when we are spiraling out in doubts. That’s all we can do. What we give out always comes back. ♻️💎 Trust that feeling it out will make you so much better in the end cause it will pass eventually but if you take moments to breathe and trust, it’ll amplify the rewards of good times when the worry finally subsides. 🌎🔑💪
Wow thanks so much Nathanial. I was literally thinking about this subject yesterday, and wondering how I could try and ‘release’ all the constant negativity from my brain ! If you happen to have any ideas, I’m looking forward to your next video haha :)
Tysm for making this! If I could like this vid x10000000 I would. Wanted to comment to say that your message resonates with me a great deal. I'm also on the journey of trying to be more aware of my worries (as there are very many) and being more mindful as they come and go, rather than letting them consume me - a goal that may be a 'never-quite-there-yet'/ongoing one, but definitely one that is a journey of growth. As always, I look forward to following along as you figure out your journey too.
Ponemos tantas expectativas en las cosas que comenzamos que ,a veces, perdemos de vista la dicha y la libertad de construir cosas que nos gusten, solo por el simple hecho de hacerlo. A veces hay que respirar y seguir esa voz interna sin cuestionarnos tanto Gracias nathaniel!
Thank you for talking about this because it's a struggle I have and it's hard to find the narrative that this is something that happens and that you can learn how to make it influence less your life experience. I love your content. Thank you
Just found your channels. I love your open, honest discussions. You inspire me to do the same. (BTW, I found your channel through your parents' videos on moving to Portugal. Keep up the good work...elaine
am kinda feeling the same way, worrying how my life will turn out if I follow certain paths, and its super exhausting.. not just the future but my current situation . what I do is if I cant control certain things I stop worrying about them much.. so far its working out
Thank for this video ! Really right in time, cause last two weeks I go through same thing, we’re not alone finding ourselves on the emotional bottom because of irrational worrying. Btw, I assume you might have heard of this, but if not, read the concepts of stoicism. This philosophy does help to detach from processes that we are not capable of influencing and finally stop worrying about them. Well, in books they describe better the concept, so don’t make your opinion on my explanation 🤪 and sending virtual hugs :)
I figured out (with the help of my psychiatrist) that my worry/anxiety comes from not being able to trust myself. I've made some decisions against my gut feeling that have led to major crime victim sort of situation. My anxiety is so deep, I cannot trust myself to make a decision, therefore I'm in a cycle of never following through with anything. Everything, and I mean everything is scary and doesn't feel right. So here I sit. I've tried breath work - and I simply can't calm my body or mind to have it work.
Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of people experience worry, especially in current times. Did you ever look into parts work? I especially like IFS - Internal Family Systems, the work by Richard C. Schwartz. It's a very helpful framework to distance one self from thoughts that do not stem from the true Self and understand them more deeply and with compassion.
Thanks for touching on these topics surrounding anxiety and taking yourself out of your head to realize what your thoughts are doing to you, Nathaniel. As for your podcast, I think maybe if you slow down and release less frequently (e.g. once a week instead of twice a week), maybe it will allow you to focus on both your channels with all of your effort but without as much of the worry and burnout. The RU-vid algorithm is hard to crack when you want to pursue what interests you instead of what interests the algorithm, but all it takes is one video to take off for the rest of your podcast to also take off. Remember that so that you hopefully put more of your energy into making wonderful weekly podcasts instead of worrying about their success! :)
Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. From AA Big Book Third Edition Pg 417
