I tried (and failed) to read A Court of Thorns and Roses 

😂

Haha accurate

True.😂

🤣🤣🤣

#colleenhoover

Oh, gods, the phrase survived!! That is an old one.

Makes me think of the guidance counselor writing the smutty novel in 10 Things I Hate About You. Eek.

Velvet-wrapped steel 😂😂😂😂 omg I am dying after reading that

As a perverted smut writer, I concur. I don't need to use that stupidity unless it's satire. The euphemisms for penises and in that same vein(y flesh-sword), the vulva/vagina are absolutely cringeworthy and ridiculous. I find that if you want to get your reader as steamed up as the characters, be simple about it. The simpler the better. They will be able to understand and thus get 🔥. I have, though, at times used some clinical terms; but the ones I use are ones that I do expect people to look up and say, "OH, THAT'S what it's called!" because they know what it is/where it is, but they didn't know its name. E.g., one of my main characters (I write fan fic, so not a 'published by publishing house' author) loves to swallow her man's 🍆, so when I was describing her first BJ I used the terms that she knew...and how her 👅 lingered and teased his 'frenulum'. I think all of these ridiculous euphemisms are one of two things, possibly both...an extension of our discomfort around sex, and/or deliberate humor intended to emphasize to the reader the fantasy aspect of the work they're reading. Both of these negatively affect the purpose of ✨spice✨ in fiction. A well-written smut scene regardless of the reader's sexuality, gender, or age (post-pubertal ofc, I'm talking anyone with active hormones, not kids) should be able to get anyone hot n' bothered. If it makes a huge lot of people laugh at your work, you're definitely doing something wrong. The minute I start seeing ridiculous terms in a sex scene, I'm out. But then, if there are ridiculous terms to begin with (like how Willow describes the parts that she read), then I too would've put the book down before I even got to that spot. (I think that the art of the simile is also being lost with this abuse of the metaphor. "The knight thrust his velvet sword into her quivering, wet scabbard as she gasped" is worse than writing something like...I dunno..."She cried out, the knight thrusting his c*ck into her slick and tightening sleeve as he would his dagger in the heat of a passionate, satisfying enemy kill, the sounds being forced from her throat similar to those who've pleaded mercy to no avail..." (I rlly don't know 💀) This is why I dislike reading (mostly modern) fiction. I've always been more of a non-fiction reader. I don't like to waste my time. So many non-fiction books in the world I haven't read yet and I've been reading for 48 years. No time for stupidity. Though now I'm rambling and am making y'all waste your own time, so the short of it: I use very simple euphemisms like c*ck (🐓) and balls. For some, just the usage of 🐓 gets them hot.

Ewwww

😅😂

Haha, when I saw that it was on her TBR for the month, I told myself, "Well, I hated it...but if Willow likes it, maybe I should give it another shot." While this outcome was not unexpected, I give her full marks for trying.

Same 😂

oh, and also, yes to sex and yes to queerness! looking forward to the queer book you alluded to and hope it's gonna be a good time. (also, I went on a very similar journey concerning twilight, its place in vampire fiction and as "something young girls and women enjoy that's categorically made lesser" ;D)

I could never hate Twilight.

I think the difference is that your group of twilight fans were children. I also loved twilight, and still do for the nostalgic laugh, but I grew up to realize it was bad, not just because of the writing, but the relationships and themes. ACOTAR fans are primarily adults who think these books are romantic, when they are not, or well written, which they are also not. It draws out people’s ire, whether warranted or not. It’s also frustrating to have genuinely horrific sexual and relationship dynamics lauded as positive, when they are notably harmful in every other media form (video, photographic, etc). I’m waiting for the shoe to drop on “smut” that is just the written equivalent of the dark side in f the video porn industry. On a personal note, I don’t get people who find unrealistic sex hot because … it seems unbearably sad. But that is just my own judgement. 😅

I’d argue there is really not much important about very unhealthy (and in this case unrealistic) sexual and romantic relationships being unquestionably elevated. That is like saying the exploitive side of the porn industry is important in its own right. It isn’t. There is plenty of literary sex that isn’t bad just like there is plenty of porn that isn’t bad.

@@jacforswear18 Agree that there is literary sex that isn't bad, but clearly it doesn't appeal to young readers nearly as much as SJM does

I second this- the Feyra "i'm a strong i dependent woman and i will bot do what you say" renactment was so theraputic. As was her saracastic appaluse for a chatacter who "gets feminisim" and gives Feyra a "choice" 😂

Also 44. I blame my book club and apparently friends with tastes VERY different from mine 🤣

Completely agree that target age group and one's reading level are HUGE factors in who's going to enjoy these books. Teens who don't have wide reading experience are mainly who is going to enjoy. I imagine I'd have probably liked these books when I was 15, but now, being very much an adult with fairly broad reading experience, there's just no way I could ever get into them lol.

Yuck 🤢

Yesssssss Kuang is goated!

I've found that the super hyped up popular books are usually the ones to steer clear of if you're a discerning reader.

Thank you!

Thank you! Look, it is so much harder than I thought it would be. The course I’m on is supposed to take 10-12 lessons and I went into lesson 1 like, I’m just gonna knock this out right now and save some money. NOPE! It’s hard! I’m so impatient as well but it’s working! Enjoy the process :)

I think there’s a huge amount to be said for books that are just simple, formulaic, cheesy fun.

@@CriminOllyBlog I think that if you go into such books knowing that, it can be so much fun. And the spice IS Cringy and hilarious, I really hope that no one experiences it like that IRL xD

My partner says the same thing about the True Blood books. Read them all, had fun, freely admits they’re awful 😅

This is also the book that spurred me to DNF books. I don't seem to like the romantasy genre at all, is my other takeaway.

I guess neither did all the people I saw lined up outside the Cursed Child theatre in London yesterday, eagerly giving their money to a dangerous transphobic cult leader 🤷🏻‍♀️

Such a perfect book

Thank you 💜

Okay :)

The Honey Witch :)

@@WillowTalksBooks thank you

I think ALL her books are fairy pron. I've tried a couple, and have noticed a recurring theme - there's always some fae male character who is the mc's "fated" mate. It gave me a real "second wife's resentment" feeling, tbh.