I struggled with porn addiction for 24 years. I just celebrated my 3 year sobriety birthday from looking at porn. I personally found success in Celebrate Recovery, but, we can have success in this area. What a great conversation Pastor Mike. I hope this video reaches many people.
Thats awesome, good on you, man! Glory to God. That’s inspiring to me, since I’ve used porn for so many years now, since I was an early teen. It got to the point of being second nature to me. Now, seeking to overcome it, it’s been a struggle sometimes. This video is very timely to what’s been on my mind lately, thanks God. Bless you, Mike.
Before I knew the Lord, I was a prostitute and stripper and even though I have been free from it for years and have been married for 7 years, there is STILL some shame attached to sex because of the debauchery I was involved in. But the Lord is helping me to deal with it. All that to say sex certainly IS a big deal.
I pray you will grow in your knowledge of the Lord (John 17:17; Romans 10:17)... I pray you'll see how God carried out the crucifixion of your sin nature. All that's needed now is that YOU see it, and be reconciled in YOUR heart to God. 💜 Then you will no longer be "in bondage to the Law of sin and death"... you'll be free in Christ Jesus! 😊😁
You no longer have any reason to be ashamed, especially because you now know the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (Epistle 2 Of Paul To The Corinthians, 5: 17-21)! Have confidence in this!!
Your testimony is powerful and I've only heard the bit you wrote here. I understand how you feel though. The Lord saved me as well but when I was lost I led my child astray through a drunk tongue and I'm still dealing with the consequences of that foolishness today. However, I know God is working it all out for good. I know He has given me promises and I trust Him. I know one day in His time and His way He will set my child free. I know that I have been forgiven for the foolish words I imparted on my child but I have had lots of shame and difficulty forgiving myself for it. It comes back and haunts me from time to time. I asked my mom one day, "I know God has forgiven me but how do I forgive myself?" She told me that she understood what I was struggling with but to not forgive myself is like telling God He is wrong and I know better than He does. That resonated with me. She said that the thoughts that haunt me is the enemy's (Satan) way of trying to steal my joy and come against me and I need to fight him with Scripture like Jesus did when Satan came against Him with temptations. She reminded me of Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Through prayer and scripture I will fight it. By God's grace that shame will leave me totally one day. I hope this helps you as well. 💚
My dad pressed purity on us as kids. I didn’t walk in the faith my whole high school and most of my 20s. I don’t think he presented it in a way that resonated with me (not blaming him) but man if I waited and saw purity like I see it now, I could’ve saved myself a ton of problems.
Check out the Beckett Cook testimony on YT. It's incredible. From Hollywood culture to radical conversion experience to Bible College to "walking it out".( So to speak). It's deep. 🌹
@John Robertson Abstinence in marriage is similar to fasting... Though it is advocated for a special period of time, just like fasting, it's certainly not the norm... The norm is having regular sexual relations...
@@lararomont8348 yes I will, and one thing Ive learn is I cant fight alone, people who know the Lord, I must commune with other fellow strugglers and Ive realized that they ahve their own fair share of struggles with other sins. If you like you can join our online bibl study every Tuesday here in the Philippines. I am sharing the Gospel to people like you and me.
Thank you for talking about singleness! I'm 34 and not married, and I get the questions, "Are you seeing anyone", "Have a guy in your life yet?" all the time from friends and family. The more they ask, the more I want to stay single because it feels like that is how they are basing my worth. Being single seems to be a sad status more and more so thank you for talking about it, and would love to hear more since after all, Jesus was single too.
Marriage is honorable, but singleness is advantageous. Remember when married you’ll focus more on worldly things, how to please your husband. Being single lets you focus on God. I’d say persist in praying to God for what you want, and while/if you wait for marriage take advantage of being single an focus on your relationship with God. Both are acceptable options. God bless you. I’m only 25 but waiting myself. Difficult to find people who truly love and follow God nowadays lol. If they ask you again about it just say you’re being picky 😂.
I can totally relate I've been called to singleness and have a few times been asked why I've never married it insinuates that something is wrong with you
Lol I try to avoid conversations like this, not because I am ashamed but because I'm tired of making my face look like I am bothered and I "care" in the way they want me to care. If I look too unbothered, they might think I don't honour marriage and might be weird or need deliverance, but I'm not bothered as God's got me. Humans don't like that I seem to be chill about this though.
@Nilao Conversely, I actually think the problem is people have "a relationship" but deny the commitment religion entails. Many Christians have an "open relationship" with Christ.
@@brando3342 religion is mans attempt to make himself right with our creator. Jesus is a reality not a religion and he's come to make us right with him. Now it's our privilege to be obedient out of love for who he is and what he's done and what he's going to do. 1st corinthians 2:9. But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him." I probably should've said a loving relationship with Christ because when you truly love someone you don't want to do anything that grieves them.
Nikao The end part I agree with. The definition of religion you gave, I don't really agree with. Religion is just certain specific actions dedicated to a particular "object of affection", classically a supernatural deity. We have such actions as an obligation or "religion". As you say though, we can actually love and truly enjoy carrying out these obligations. We can also understand that having a religion doesn't mean that you are disqualified from it if you do not perfectly follow it (a religion with Christ that is). "Love the Lord you God..." - religious obligation. "Do not murder" - religious obligation "Love your neighbor as yourself" - religious obligation Etc. Etc. Generally, the problem people including Christians have with religion today is how the word has been used and demonized, versus what it actually means.
@@brando3342 meaning of words change all the time so what religion has come to mean is mans attempt to make himself right with God and it started with Adam and Eve making aprons to cover themselves. I know what the dictionary say but the reality is in the minds of most people religion means doing things to make oneself right with whatever they worship or believe but in Christ he's done all the work to justify us. For me after I truly understood that, that's when his work began in me.
I am so fulfilled being single living a life of purity for the glory of God! You gotta love him more . Then you will see how amazing the Lord is . And how deep his love is .
"You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." So... MUCH Looooovveee. errr jealousy and hate and grudging.
@@adjustedbrass7551 Proving exactly your hate? Just because there's a anime profile picture. It dismantles me entirely? You really are projecting here...
Yes!! As a 30 year old single woman, the special interest groups within the church have been so difficult for me! The "young singles" group quickly becomes a young marrieds group.. or the singles grow out of the "young" category! I do feel a little isolated. Singleness does not seem like a blessing the way that the church in general approaches it. It certainly doesn't feel like one, especially when the desire of my heart is for marriage and family. Your perspective is so refreshing! Definitely needed to hear this!
Hi Chelsea. I spent a few moments skimming your "A Week in Wendover" video (10 seconds or so). Assuming that the young lady there is you, you're not at all unattractive, and if you're a Christian with a heart for marriage and kids you shouldn't have too much trouble finding a Godly man who wants the same. Keep putting yourself out there proactively and don't friend-zone too many guys ;). Good luck!
@@trustme7660 I've recently been challenged by a friend to take the core drivers that inspire my desire for the relationships that I do, and find ways to use those desires and giftings in ways that will build the Kingdom! I was involved in youth ministry for a long time and absolutely loved it. Not only was it a wonderful way to help raise teens up in the Body of Christ, but was incredibly fulfilling for me! All the challenges that came with middle school to high school girls and all. And trust me, there were challenges I never saw coming.. I find that I'm the least content when I'm not using my singleness as a blessing and taking advantage of the extra time in my schedule and room in my heart! I'll let ya know how it goes! But if it was anything like last time, I'm expecting God to do great things. I want to challenge you to do the same! Find an outlet! Use your singleness and passion for relationship for the Kingdom! You and I were built this way for a reason.. that reason is more or less unknown to us at this point.. but He knows every desire, thought, personality trait.. all of it. We are known. We are seen. We are delighted in. He's got us. 🙂
I know people are joking about the books in the background. But seriously. You guys get lost in the busy background. It's is distracting. May be a good idea to decrease the visual stimulation.
I am so happy that Christian teachers seem to be touching on singleness today more than they used to. As a 43 yr old single woman and never married, it's easy to sometimes feel ignored within some church activities. But when my pastor preached a sermon on 1 Cor. chapter 7 and specifically touched on singleness, it was the first time I ever heard o sermon on being single and it really touched me.
That's because it used to be about 10% of people were single vs now over 50% are. It's a horrible thing and we'll all die aching with bedsores and alone. But we get more attention atm.
I’m happy that Sean is talking about transgenderism. My husband recently left me to become a woman, and it was a huge shock for me. So, it’s nice to see that this is becoming part of a discussion now
I’m so sorry, rest in Gods faithfulness. Pray for your husband ❤️ I feel that society doesn’t talk about the pain women in your position must go through. I hope God can ease your worry & shine his loving grace unto you.
@@SB-ht8uo I’m afraid we’re divorced now, but I do still pray for him. I hope he does find God one day. Thank you so much sister (I’m sorry if you’re a brother, haha). I can’t tell you how much that means to me. So many people brush off my feelings because they think it’s okay. Knowing that God will never leave me or forsake me is a huge comfort. He is so, so good.
pornography was SO hard to conquer. i know God helped me by awakening my conscience, but i had to dig out of that pit with a spoon. I truly believe He made sure I knew that spoon was a gift even though He made me still dig myself out through hard work and diligence. was brutal. can't wait to read this book.
Always remember that you are not alone and if you ask The Holy Spirit for help, even everyday, and read God's Word daily, it's a recipe for succcess. All The Best.
This is so good! Thanks for talking about this, sex and sexualizing everything is just normal now and it's so sad and so gross. Thanks for explaining how it is good to follow God's ways and why! Awesome.
No patience to Find out if the person is SEEKING GOD, HAS SELF CONTROL? THIS points to Not trusting God who knows what we need. He wants us to have Fruitful lives..not good for Man( woman) to be alone. GOD IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP..in truth..its the major theme. WE are to stand Made right before God..salvation/ forgiveness. God forbid if we Go back to the Vomit( casual sex)! I ll admit after being left by an adulterous husband, I was already v lonely( 2 years of no love) really harms! I got w a Man..he was not Pursuing God..made stories, Hellish business life( # Empty promises..I should Love him building for "the future") Quit hoping, he was Not a committer. I stayed true..fooled myself it would "show I'm all invested". DONT DO IT women!! Say No..have respect for your temple. YOU ARE TO BE LOVED IN THE RIGHT WAY. BY THE RIGHT PERSON( THAT IS Gods heart for us). See who someone is by Asking others. WAY BEFORE YOU have coffee. LINES ON BEHAVIOUR..speak immediately of Restraint for Purpose! When the eyes of the other glaze over when you Say this...know it's their Ears that do not hear! Is That who you can rely on? 2$ for coffee..u see where someone Is at. NO Joey..how u doin? BE CLEAR ABOUT THE TACTICS OF you know( he s working to steal, devour etc). DO U LIKE BEING STOLEN FROM? ARE YOU FOOD? no. CHECK YOUR mind ..Scripture says Beware of flattery.Thats the "now", in the moment Baloney which covers over Actual Thinking about What you are doing. BE ready to Not go anywhere where you can be Alone. THAT IS THE 1ST point..One should not Pressure you when you Know your obligations..Imbalances they NEED can become the Habit, the way it "goes". Remember..Men are like Woks..heat up quick! YOU turn the dial down..Dont excite a man w Seductive/Jezebel/ you are "so amazing" special Blah blah. Come on girls..he has to treat you like a Sister until he Proposes marriage. THEN..HE still has to treat you as a sister( not about his Needs). Even snuggles. YEP! KEEP IT ON THE LOWDOWN!
After growing apart from God and our Lord Jesus over many years; I have recently returned and am trying to rectify my past actions and correct course. For many years I have had difficulties with lust, pornography, masturbation, pre-marital sex, you name it... This is a message I desperately need. Thank you Mike.
One of the challenges of being single is that so many people don't understand or believe that I could be happy single. Everyone is so wrapped up with hooking up..... even some Christians. I find it quite disturbing.
To the unbeliever or new believer Gods ways look like rules because of the flesh but these are not rules they are actually freedoms from bondages. When you follow these “rules” chains are broken.
Majority doesn't realize how its loving and safe to follow sex laws. I didnt realize it til after hardships in pre martial relationship. They r more damaging then satisfying
Jesus is the end of the law. Jews keep the law inwardly. Gentiles have faith in jesus atonement for remission and only can god gift a wretched sinner like me the seal of the holy spirit of adoption and eternal life. Abraham is the father of the circumcision (jews) who actually keep the law after faith in jesus and gentiles (uncircumcised) who dont know or have the law but are completely justified freely by grace through faith in jesus atonement and resurrection for eternal life . God counts the faith as a child of promise and not the law which is impossible to keep before faith in christ and the holy spirit living in the believer to belong to God.
When you do have sex it creates a intimate connection and it’s sad that it isn’t valued. God created this for us so we can multiply but he made it sacred as well. I don’t know... to me it is so beautiful and God designed it so perfectly. I totally agree with the statement with Gods law being for your own good. I am single and I do want to get married but I’ve learned when I seek God more I actually loved being single because I have more time with God but it’s so hard since my family’s ideas are different for singleness when Its okay appreciating it. I still want marriage but I’m okay not having it and just loving God is enough.
Thank you so much for this video! Josh McDowell was a huge influence in my teenage to young adult life in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and I'm so happy to see his son continuing his message. This message is even more important today, it's horrifying how much darker the world has become even in those 40 years! May God richly bless you both!
I wish I'd become a Christian so much sooner. I was raised Catholic but had so much liberty eventhough my parents didn't want me to have sex at a young age and my mother who had a Protestant Christian upbringing really instilled in me to wait till I was married but she and my Dad weren't consistent and I had 4 older brothers who had girlfriends and I saw and heard so much, so young and saw so many movies at a young age that I shouldn't have seen. My parents weren't even aware sometimes. I ended up giving in with a boyfriend that I thought I was going to marry. I was 13 when we started going together and 14 when we were intimate, we broke up for the final time when I was 16. After that I didn't want to be with anyone until I was married but never stood by it and sometimes found myself in situations that I didn't want to be in and actually felt obligated to carry out things that I didn't want to because I'd always heard how bad it was to lead a guy on. Even if I didn't really lead them on, I somehow felt like I was because they were wanting or expecting something and I felt obligated to allow it or do certain things. I wish so much that hadn't been the case.
God's grace is bigger than your sin. Thank Him that you now see His light. You are a living testimony for the Gospel. Praise God that His healing power makes you pure and whole. If your past still haunts you, find a good Christian counselor to help you.
4 months late but here I am: I was widowed at 23 after 14 months of marriage. I remarried 17 years later - a lot of time to study God's word about singleness. Sadly, very little help from the church - aside from the push to find another mate - not what I felt was 'my call' as a Christian woman. Yes, the church needs to teach more on living a blessed/obedient life within singleness. The church has ONLY taught women to be wives/mothers - that singleness/barrenness is certainly LESS THAN. The Bible has many examples of women who served God beyond those typical roles - but those passages are rarely, if ever, preached on. I didn't need a ministry for 'singles'; I needed to be acknowledged as a valuable member of God's family. Thank you both for acknowledging the church's failure in this area. I encourage you to do what you can to remedy this.
The issue in the church today (in the West mostly, in other cultures the values are still more conservative) is that when you are an older single, who has never been married, you are seen as an anomaly, and an outsider. Whereas divorced people can easily fit in, find fellowship and support, and new love. It is the same old same ol either in Christian on-line groups or 'in real life' settings. Had I married a wrong man and then divorced him, I could now 'prove' my validity as a woman who understands commitment.. lol.. but, since I avoided a disastrous marriage and was spared divorce, I am now practically shunned. It is so twisted... Grace seems to apply for the divorced (even if they have multiple divorces under their belt), but not so much for us single never married ones, who wanted to honor God with our lives.
Your time will come. I have a friend that didn't marry for the first time until he was like 40 and somehow found a wife that also had not been married for the first time till almost the same age. And both are strong christians and good looking people. But I know what you are talking about. I was late getting married also. And when entering the work place as a single person after college I remember that loneliness. It is hard for sure. But remember happily single leads to happily married. Unhappy single often leads to unhappy marraige. Just make sure you pick a good one.
To be fair, an older, christian single is an anomaly. With that said, a community of believers should be pushing singles to better find purpose in serving God even if they end up single for life, and find contentment. However, instead of that happening, they push for marriage, and if you don't fit that mold at that time (perhaps unprepared spiritually, perhaps unprepared financially) there is nothing but silence or in some cases, a sense of disgust (not as common luckily).
Two years ago I backslid into a causal sexual relationship with someone I met online. It ruined my spiritual life ( I dont know if I'm saved) it destroyed my body and the memories of it has plagued my thoughts and emotions. Sexual sin comes at a HIGH cost. Its not worth losing your soul over. God forgives but the consequences are lifelong.
Christ died bearing your sin and shame. He loves you and continues to cleanse you as you seek him. Praise Jesus Christ for his mercy and grace towards us.
I've you had stopped practicing this sing and are repentant, then God probably already forgave you... but if you keep doing it, then you're not repentant which means you can't be forgiven until you repent, repenting means stopping completely and turning around.
I am very pleased that you both mentioned, that the church needs to speak more about singleness and the beauty of it because it needs to be shared. Timely and much needed conversation. I wish that this kind of conversation was taught when I was 15 years old (I'm 26, a young adult lol) it would of helped loads to be honest. God bless you brothers. 🙏🏾🙌🏾🔥😊
Keep speaking truth! And amen. The Bible tells us in the end times there will be a starvation for speaking the truth! As there are so few of us with ministries based on hardcore truth! God bless you!
Amen is an Ancient Egyptian word meaning "God". Amen (Amun), TutankhAMEN. Why do you use it????? Why do ALL Christians use it - it is NOT English. It pre-dates Christianity by miles!!! Yeah, I'm speaking the truth - look it up. Hardcore truth!!!
@@roeb8923 Amen means It is used in Jewish, Christian and Islamic worship, as a concluding word, or as a response to a prayer. Common English translations of the word amen include "verily", "truly", "it is true", and "let it be so". It is also used colloquially, to express strong agreement.
Thank you Mike and Sean for addressing the issue of singleness in the church. Mike, you mentioned that singleness needs to be addressed more frequently in church teaching. Sean, you talked about practices in the church needing to change as they pertain to singleness. I agree with both these statements. There is a great deal of unintentional exclusivity with respect to the married state within the church and for the sake of both singles, and marrieds it is important for singleness to be re-legitimized as a God-honouring life choice. It is also important for all believers that opportunities for intimacy be made available to singles within the church; that they be embraced as valuable members of the church family. I recently read an amazing book on this topic: The Seven Myths About Singleness by Sam Allberry. I would highly recommend this book for both married and single folks. Blessings to you both for advocating for growth as the church in this area.
Thank you guys for answering tough questions among us and our friends.We don’t have be enemies of those who disagree with us All they need to hear is the truth of God’s Word.God Bless you both more and more abundantly!
Thank you both for the courage to talk about this difficult subject. It was very thorough and touched on many aspects. Thank you!! Super important in the time we live on!! May the LORD bless you and keep you!! And all who hear 👂 let them that have ears.... hear 👂♥️
Great lecture. I lovingly confront people in my life about certain things and when you talk to people about porn they flip out and get incredibly defensive. It's so sad how normalized it's become. People make fun of me when I talk about my journey of quitting porn.
I think the show Friends really helped young people be okay with porn... almost every episode I would watch had references to it and they joked and laughed about it... I mean there’s a million reasons it’s just that that show in particular bothered me with that issue when my friends never criticized it but laughed... and that was really from when I was in high school... that was a long time ago... culture invaded church more than church invaded culture...
I think that show had so much to do with causing young people at the time to be ok with a lot of sin and debauchery. Promiscuity was normalized in about every episode.
So true..I recently watched Friends...and it's so sad the Casualness of Sex is a Theme of Normalcy. The friends get drunk..get married in Las Vegas..then he lies to her they arent married..How disrespectful, manipulation to Get someone to think Something is finished..but the guy likes not telling her It has not been Annulled. At least the other friends said U shouldnt Lie about the Paperwork. Good but they didnt just Tell the woman he is lying. DO U CALL THAT BEING A FRIEND? HOW NOT CARING. Here is why I know how that ATTITUDE is So Damaging. I was married, my husbands friends(?) knew he was flirting, dissing me ( I was home w a toddler, hub was "teaching a class"). NO reason to be worried Right? He is "just" with friends. Affair/ fantasy began..and I was the "annoying wife/mom" for asking why he was Spending more time in his Classes( included outdoor days doing the activity). I GOT dissed...He was Sour if I requested he Be w his own family. *when your supposed best friend argues Why He Cant spend time" Was doing own thing. DIVISION..BIBLE SAYS HATRED IS ROOTED IN DIVISION. HE left..he hated me talking about his "damaging" ways, affects on Hearts( 3 yr old boy seeing him Upset with me, My heart that cared for Family life). I wasn't choking hub..he could teach a class. He just took freedom too far. BTW..he and the other woman..not together now. WHAT? Wasnt it love? Obviously not..no bonds..because that's what the world Says: if it's not working out..you know" Move on". IDEA OF FRIENDSHIP THAT LASTS, OUGHT TO BE DEEPLY WOVEN INTO MARRIAGE. COVENANTS are more than Fair weather ...Friends the show is all Well..if he isnt giving you everything..( romance all the time, total absorption In "her/him"). ???cant when you are not married..its just Trying on a person like they are a Coat. NAH..NOT COMMITTED TO INVESTING. This is the Jezebel Spirit: never satisfied. ( my staying husband said I wasnt satisfied: how could I be when he Wasnt Planning to "be there for me/son"? Dinner and sleeping are Not a relationship. X on relating..only physical and Temporary sensual moments. I wasnt looking elsewhere..Hub expected I be fulfilled hanging out with Girlfriends (?) As though I'm not wanting a husband/friend/ one who believes in us Protecting, cherishing our commitment. I ve forgiven him. He has his reward for his short term wants: no wife, no backup, and Vexes son against Christ. BUT God! In court, judge said I'm mother, hub is to Help son and I have a relationship. AMEN! SPLIT FAMILY...I NEVER WANTED. GOD WILL uphold me w his promises..He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! Dating? The hurry to get physical Sickens me..I rebuke the Casual..I speak of CHRISTS joining 2 to be one( but not with mental torment/ room for Self indulgence / Friendships w Opposite sex ( Guard your heart from that when married, God help people have Fear, respect, love for the wife of they youth) or Head of house( man) knowing he is To love, provide, Forgiving. As Jesus did for Us. I knew Hub was " distant". NO OLD FRIENDS SAID A THING TO ME( ASSOCIATES STOOD FOR "having room, freedoms Not supportive of marriage". THEIR MARRIAGES BROKE UP..I could not give sympathy. They get their " temporary rewards". Deep love knows to guard from invaders. Doubt, desire..Bring these thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ. HE REWARDS THE FAITHFUL.
I loved ‘Friends’ from high school and college. After I got married my husband and I chose not to have TV for 5 years. I was so excited to get one after five years. The first thing I did was rewatch all of ‘Friends’. I was so disappointed! I feel like it was the first time I really saw everything clearly. So much negative content. But, it made me look much closer to everything I put in front of myself and my kids. There are so many hidden agendas in everything coming into your home.
Very encouraging stuff. thank you for this Mike. Thank you for using your gifts sir, God used this to caution me towards more purity and against trusting myself.
Thank you both for your discussion of singleness. I've never married, and I struggled for years to find contentment. A big part of the struggle came from well-meaning fellow Christians who couldn't understand why I wasn't coupled with someone. I came to hate the phrase, "let me fix you up," with its implication that I was broken. I never was and finally understood that with a study of Corinthians. With the push to categorize people for ministry, the church doesn't really know what to do with mature never-married women.
1)we need to pray and confess all the sins to God, including the lust, and ask for forgiveness. 2) declar that the spirits behind all the sins Leave us and pray for God to close all the open door and heal all the traumas. ...... AnyWAY, a New-born Christian hate sins, and will not touch sins easily. human effort is not enough, only Holy Spirit can achieve these! Praise Jesus!
The FLESH causes us to sin. It’s a battle between OUR spirit and OUR flesh. There doesn’t need to be any “spirits” encouraging our behavior; our sinful nature is more than willing to give in.
I've been single for 13 years, and its difficult, being in my late 30s to serve in church. I'm a musician, pianist, and often get this bad feeling as many seem to think I must not be ready to serve God cause I'm single. That to be a minister requires marriage, and often at churches i have had to leave cause married couples have taken over. New head pastors wife wants to lead music and pushes me away to put her sons girlfriend on stage, another churches new youth pastors girlfriend wants to play keys so i am out. And i feel its cause these churches see me as less for my singleness.
True you have endured some things that shouldn't have happened that way. Satan intervenes even in the church. Just keep faithful to the Lord & you will be rewarded. Your perseverance will pay off. After all it's just about you & God. Bless you
The discussion about singleness is so important. Can we get a deeper dive? This is the hardest thing. Lol mike "I got married at 30 I was single for a long time" that makes me feel rough being older and still single
This is a great message I myself need it, I am trying to rectify my way as I walk away due to this very sin, and felt into some dark places because of it, now I have a kid on the way with my wife and I want to equip myself with knowledge and wisdom, specially as I struggle with this and God is healing me again. So I'm able to share in a correct a sound way how staying away from this doesn't make you an antiquated person, but is because God knows best.
“More than a Carpenter” by Josh MacDowel was so impactful in my conversion I quicken to say that had it not been for that resource, I would never have come to Christ when I did. So encouraged to listen to his son. Thanks Mike. Greetings from Canada 🇨🇦
Yes, my greatest disillusionment came from following the purity movements only to have the marriage end in adultery. This is what opened up cohabitation for me. It was a protection against making the same mistake. So it's not just culture and broken families that endorse cohabitation and multiple sexual partners. That's a convenient response, and is the case for many. I just felt what you left out was those of us who followed the guidelines, and it failed, then leading to disillusionment with the church and even worse, God. The church failed miserably with this back in the 90s, put us out of the camp in divorce care groups, etc. Only wanting the well dressed 2.5 kid families lining the pews. It's gotten better lately because the problem with marriage is also systemic in the church, not just the secular world. It's what brought me back to church after many years of a prodigal journey.
There seems to be a huge stigma attached to being a mature single in the church today. I've lost count of how many times people have told me I'd 'better off' if I remarried. Better off how??? Also, you're treated differently when you're single. If you attend church with a woman, you get invited to people's homes for lunch. If you attend church alone, you're ignored. Has anyone else had this experience?
In the early days of the internet I wish we had been able to find sound doctrine on these issues. I remember searching for answers or help and finding way to many people encouraging things that they shouldn't have instead of calling these out how the bible said Jesus wanted us to be.
Biblical restraint sets you free...Amen, this is a truth that many believers were never taught. I became born again at the age of 9 years old and it took me a good number of years to fully understand the importance of not conforming our thinking to what society teaches and really understand how to put Romans 12:2 into action. This is a great topic 👍🏽
I don’t know if this will be seen by either of you, but this is great. Uniquely, I was at that youth camp where you guys apparently met. Young Life Woodleaf is the name you’re looking for. Unless Sean happened to speak different years, but I went to/was on staff with Calvary Chapel Auburn and went to/worked at that camp for the better part of the last decade. Sean, seriously respect you and your dad and the research you put into your teachings. This is a really important topic, I have been fighting for this message for a long time. I have a great marriage now by the grace of God, but one that has been attacked by a lot of the issue discussed in this video. I am currently waiting on the lord to lead me back into ministry, but I appreciate both of you and would hope to be as great of a Christian leader someday. Blessings be upon you.
I was once a little promiscuous in the 80's cuz I thought it was expected. Not like it is today which is a lot worse! I finally reclaimed my virginity and my self respect before I met my current husband. I wasn't following Christ although I thought I was a Christian. I remember it felt like I lost a little piece of my soul in every illicit sex act. I am so grateful I didn't come down with a general disease. I wasn't even that promiscuous compared to others then or now but any sex act outside marriage is promiscuity. women are told to be equally after men sexually, but why not have both sexes wait? Not just women! Even though I repented all those shallow acts I still regret them and am embarrassed with shame! Wait! It's worth it!
The way our culture addressed the double standard: lowered expectations for women. The way God addresses the double standard: heightened expectations for men.
I think it's amazing (not in a good way) how quickly we fall for it being "expected", and how it "brings empowerment" to be sexually "free". When I was young, I slept with as many people as I could, cuz it was "cool" (I wasn't as "successful" as some). I recognized even then, before I came to Jesus, that it didn't feel empowering. It made me afraid and lonely and numb. I wish I could download this knowledge into the kids and young adults in my life.
@Michele H I think it means to be obedient to God out of love and reverence for Him. To love Him more than the fleshly desires and to wait until marriage to consummate the marriage.
Porn addiction almost always escalates; in the last 2 years, I have heard almost 100 stories from women whose families have been destroyed by this awful behavior. Most spouses who used porn keep it a secret and in almost 95% they end up acting out and getting involved with other terrible behaviors, including sexual betrayal, massage parlors, sex workers, hook-up apps and chats, etc. Sexual sin not only destroys the sinner but also those close to them. I beg you to seek help if you are in bondage. The stats are sobering, pastors and men in ministry are also struggling with porn addiction. The betrayed spouse is impacted in every way. Even if it's just looking at porn, your spouse will feel abandoned, devalued, and utterly hopeless. If you are in pain or frustrated about your life and/or your marriage, please talk to your spouse, as hard as it may be; There are many programs out there that help men (and women) who have become addicted to porn (and have been involved with other people sexually outside the marriage). There are recovery groups and counselors available. There are 12-step programs that are free. Unfortunately, very few churches offer recovery groups for porn addicts (also called sex addicts) but there are ministries that offer support groups for a minimal fee. Look online for an option in your area. Many groups are now holding zoom calls. It takes years to recover from the devastation that sex addiction causes. My life will never be the same, and neither will be my relationship with my husband. The pain is deep and many experience a crisis of faith because of how hopeless we feel. I implore, if you are using porn for any amount of time, seek help in a community of men who have been there.
Before I got saved I believed porn was normal and everyone did. When I would hear girls say they didn’t watch it, I would say “yea okay everyone watches it” BUT GOD.... I got saved and a year into my walk when I TRULY got Saved, Jesus set me free from it and now thinking about it makes my skin crawl and gives me the creeps. 2 Corinthians 5:17 🙌🏼✝️
You guys are really hitting the nail spot on! I have never really struggled with porn, but sex has been my #1 battle. And you are right, I would fall away and come back so much because I felt guilty. I have never denied Jesus, but I would get mad at Him because I wanted Him to deliver me. I am back stronger now than ever. I stopped inappropriate sexual behavior with my girlfriend. And now am working towards purity. But that life of living that way have really hurt my prospective on sex and love. I say live because I kinda think the opposite of love is last, not hate....
I haven't listened to this all the way, but it seems to me that the consequences or destruction unbridled sex yields to one's life... spiritually, emotionally and ultimately physically. We know instinctively that there are limits to many things; eating, drinking, even work and leisure. Also many do not ever get to realize the incredible joy of sacrificial love and clarity of a clear conscience in the sight of God.
What Christian misunderstand about true love today: God's love: Love in Truth World's love: If you love it, you should have it. Devil's love: If God or someone else keeps it from you, they don't love you, therefore you should love yourself and demand it. It is mind-boggling how many Christians have adopted the devil's perspective of love, and convinced themself it's the way God loves. They say if God is love, why would he not want me to have something that appears to be good. Therefore it is God's will for me to have it. (Adam and Eve's fall)
If this subject was talked about in church youth group so plainly 40 years ago! And now we live in this time and it brings me to tears of what my children and grandchildren have to deal with. The church needs to address this issue LOUDLY!
We tend to overthink things. Immorality, over indulgence, and bitterness are a choice. Purity, balance, and unconditional love are also a choice. The latter requires effort, the former just comes naturally.
This was awesome. My heart is both broken and full. I SOO WISHED I would of had this teaching when I was younger and single especially from my church. I lived basically at my church and didn't get this. I have struggled soo much with most of these issues and was always ashamed to tell anyone. Even from a very early age and im still overcoming some. I wished I could have been living a pure life upon meeting my husband I had walked away from the faith and came back after I was married. Its been difficult but the lord is setting me free I just can't shake the regret I have for how I lived in my past. Now having children I want to teach them differently because its so true many young adults and teens do not think this way they don't have all the information to understand why they need to live this way
In my opinion, and it’s only an opinion...well, perhaps an observation, but...the biggest mistake most Christians are making ...now, I’m talking about sincere and genuine Christians, not the kind that get off on Hillsong and Joel Osteen types...is that we only get maybe a couple of aspects of Jesus, if that, and we make an idol out of them. Most of us only see a very small part of Christ and we think we know Him. Most of us don’t really GET Jesus. We get a truncated version of Him and it’s usually the version that suits our own temperaments and our own proclivities. But since most of us are doing that we don’t recognize it. That’s why we are having so little effect on the world.
His dad, Josh McDowell, wrote a Christian apologetics book called "More Than A Carpenter" that enhanced my faith more than I could ever describe. I was already a believer, but any lingering doubts in the back of my mind were obliterated after I read that book. I've been able to stand firm on the Word of God since, and it has rescued me from many harrowing situations since, and given me an unshakable faith in spite of circumstances. That's so important today! I can't recommend that book enough!
I'm a continent away, and I've lived the same experience, which has caused me to withdraw from church and go online. It's profoundly sad to see precisely christians behaving in that way, and one is struggling, not to let ones disappointment and resentment be directed at Christ! When it says in the Bible that you should not idealize some ppl above others, or in any way show idolatry, communities praise their fellow married church goers, and their love is reserved for them!!!! Secure and easy! Kirsten
This was a beautiful conversation. Thank you both! You’re making the scripture so clear. That’s really a gift of the Holy Spirit. Because we live in a world of confusion and it’s getting more confused every day. So we need to be clear about the law of God so we can live by it. So thank you, and God bless you. Amen!
Pastor Mike this was such a good episode. It premiered very late at night for me but i stayed up and was very much blessed. May God bless you both brothers. I love you guys so so much But our Lord loves you more. Goodnight
As a woman in her fourties, I really needed to hear this. I have heard so many different messages about sex, marriage, and relationships, it has had me so mixed up. The worst message is that if you are single, you are flawed, or you are somehow less valuable. And then there is the cultural bias against marriage, so this got my life all twisted. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I read how the Bible views singleness. And even then, it still feels like it's brushed aside. But I really appreciate how this video acknowledges singleness as equal to marriage. Good message overall ❤
Trusting Christ calls me to want to fulfill everything God wants for me not out of force but out of my joy to commit. I’ve spent three years seeking the word and knowledge and ultimately came to the conclusion that I needed to stop living for me and risk it all to give my all for God to be honored and glorified. He has saved and transformed me and I’m so thankful. If I were a woman, I wouldn’t want to shame myself by exposing everything about myself. Just as a man I don’t shame myself in clothes that are too revealing. I thank God for all the women who hold the standard of holiness. No you don’t have to dress as a mummy but there is a standard for men and women. Be the woman of Titus 2. Men want you. Men love you. God bless
Pastor Mike addresses alot of issues that can be very painful or dealing with progressive Christian's like myself in a way that is full of love to bring everyone closer to God. Idk how I came across his channel but I've been blessed by it.
Mike, you say that dividing up a congregation into special interest groups has nothing to do with singleness. I remember being a college freshman and being excited about going to a new church and how much it hurt to be separated from the main church body. They self-justified saying, "you should want to be with people your own age." Man, can Evangelicals self-justify everything! Do they ever! It hurt. I missed my family so badly and was not ready to marry. I did not even have a girlfriend, and, in retrospect, I can see that it was a good thing that I did not have a girlfriend until ready to engage for marriage. I was so lonely at that phase in my life. I had hoped for some comfort with a new church family. And there was none.
Good talk on the topic. Regardless, what matters most is that people are saved. People’s morals and views on sex are vanity when compared to the importance of believing the Gospel, trusting in Jesus Christ’s provision for the sin problem. Let us always preach the gospel, and these important topics which are secondary to the Gospel, will come as a result of people being saved and growing in the Word
Recognizing disease/sin, is pivotal in whether people will desire the cure (Jesus) or trample Jesus’s blood because they weren’t taught what sin is. I wish I had a more strict discussion growing up so I would have been less inclined into idolatry (false image of God and His commands). “But even a traitor may mend, I have known one that did.”
Thank you for addressing singleness. It’s been the biggest stumbling block in my walk with God. I’ve dated a lot but God has not allowed me to marry them for reasons I will hopefully understand one day. Suffice to say I’m still waiting in my 40 s and it is lonely and hard because in the day and age in which we live people even the church doesn’t know how to do community well.
I honestly wishi stuck to my vow of purity when i was in high school. That is one thing i will always regret. But one thing i want to do is teach young adults from my mistakes. Ive come to truly see that sex can both beautiful and very dangerous. One thing wish the church would do is expand on the topic of why purity is good. When i was growing up all i heard was to wait. No one told me why. So i had no true backing as to why i was making the choice of waiting. And because i didnt have a backing on it i eventually didnt take it seriously
Pastor Mike, love your broadcasts. Saved since 9, celibate, saved myself til 45. Finally gave my body up to a younger heartless man who wanted a cheap conquest because I couldn't stand being alone and mocked by men and women alike anymore for seeking purity. I trusted the Lord for all those years but then I gave up. Struggling to believe that being good is worth it. Certainly not for BIPOC Christians who aren't usually associated with this campaign or movement.
I love this conversation and topic 💛 So very crucial! Oh, that we would teach our children the importance of purity and the worth of a marriage, based on Jesus Christ! My own painful experience is, that if you make major mistakes in the central areas of life, like marriage, like the field of work you enter....you can really stuff up your life. Even If being born again down the road, turning your life around at some stage, following Jesus with your whole heart later, still, some things, like building a family, can only really be done once! God forgives, if we really repent, but He doesn't take away the consequences of our own actions! And some consequences are MAJOR!!! You cannot undo or rewind your own stupid decisions! I really feel with the young generation today. There is just SO little sound advice out there, in actually every area of how to enter the adult life healthy, even by those supposedly christian! .... Thankyou for those uplifting words further down, about the beauty of singleness and being fully focused on Christ and His Kingdom. Being someone who really ate up and sought after a 'love' as depicted in much of society- romance, it takes a long time to see the possibility of a beautiful life being ( even if involuntarily) single. It's truly like coming off a long time addiction.........💛 But...with Jesus all things are possible!
The title of Shawn’s book totally went over my head until Mike said “chasing love” 😆 I thought it was cha sing love 🤪 great title now that it’s obvious to me. Looking forward to reading it in the future.
👏🏼You both touched on every ( most) variation of this topic. Very thorough, and truthful. Thank you for the courage to speak on this subject...it is a very difficult one. 👏🏼👏🏼
Struggling against an atheistic educational system which drives home the message that we're merely animals and that traditional bible teaching is now actually illegal - these latter days are tough, and will become more so
When you are single as an adult, how may people's attitude, including Christians, is automatically "are you gay?". How often I was faced with this. Just because one is single, does not mean you are gay. I have people ask me why I have not married? I tell them, "No man asked me". (P.S. this is true, no man asked me) That makes them think. :) I always felt it was God's plan for me to remain single and I have been fine with that (I am in my 60s). And what a wonderful journey! :)
I always wondered why we pamper the Bible towards kids these days. A 5 year old gets a phone to play games but yet we make Noah ark all beautiful animals. Something huge happened. I love how you explained so well on the fruit tree. That makes so much since. Yes the world is reaping what we sowed.
I am a 31 year old man and am single. My grandmother is in her 80's bless her heart, last time I talked to her she said I need to get married within 5 years... I have no idea whether that's actually going to happen or not. I'm told chase the girl... I'm told don't look so hard.. I'm told all things and every thing in order to find a wife 🤷♂️
Pursue your relationship with God & prepare to be a husband...coz it's hard WORK. Don't worry about when it happens, be ready & be willing to let God lead you.
@@brando3342 you'll be great. God bless your journey, I pray the Lord will reveal your wife to you when you are both ready to commit to a marriage relationship. I pray that your marriage will be strong & a good representation for the kingdom of God. Father God, let their marriage be a blessing to everyone in their circle of influence, may You shine brightly & bless their marriage by letting them be a giving, generous couple, a couple that have their ears pressed to Your mouth & always agree and trust Your will for their lives. Bless them to be the best of friends that they will enjoy each other in and out of the bedroom. Let their marriage confront hardships with rest in You, knowing that all things are working together for their good. Bless this marriage with children who will grow up in a loving home, where generational curses have been broken that they may live with an open heaven above them in Jesus name. Bless this family to be one & knit together with You. Thank You Lord for blessing my brother in Christ to be a strong Godly man, leading his family as You desire. Have Your way in their lives Lord, thank You for this amazing blessing of family in Jesus name Amen.
I’m a Christian in the same boat and asking God for that gift. Remember Proverbs 18:22 uses an active verb on our part, but also be encouraged by stories like Isaac+Rebekah and Ruth+Boaz, God brought women into their lives when they weren’t looking but they were following God in faith (Boaz showing this by greeting his laborers with blessings from the Lord, following God’s laws etc). So pray to the Father like a child in Jesus name asking for a lovely big gift. 🎁 I tried to “take” the gift of a relationship before it was ready and it just resulted in a lot of pain. So consider if your prepared enough to love a wife faithfully, sacrificially, and washing her in the word as God commands. If either one or both people aren’t ready, it will be open season for the enemy to hunt for those who steal the gift of love rather than wait for it to be given. God bless!
Brando, she's being pushy because she wants grandkids. I had a lot of people get pushy with me to date and find a husband and I almost married a total loser to please them and make them stop. I don't understand why older generations see marraige and having kids as an end all be all, but they do. I just got married a year and a half ago at the age of 31 to a wonderful Godly man and the wait was worth it. Wait until God gives you the woman if He even wants you married at all. Just be happy and comfortable being you first and seek God first.
Thank you dear brothers. This is sooo iluminating!!! My heart goes to the millennials and genzrs. It helps me to reach out to them as the older person. Blessings
