What’s annoying is, some of these bullies can end up becoming extremely successful people. Top academic scorers, student leaders, government scholars. Disgusting.
Thank you Ker Wei, Tammy and Yao Feng for sharing your stories so vulnerably. I cannot even begin to imagine what you all must have went through. Hearing how your past made you stronger individuals now really is very inspiring. I think Ker Wei has come quite a long way in his healing process even without therapy, and that's pretty admirable.
Sometimes all it takes to stop the bullying is for one child in the group to say "Okay, enough lah. Just leave him/her alone." and suggest doing something else. Bullying is something that is often fueled by the opinion of the group. Doing this will stop fueling the bully, and also give the bullied person some relief. Additionally, for the bullied person, it is immensely powerful that someone would care enough to stand up for them, even if in a small way.
"There will be always be bad things that happen to you, and sometimes you just cannot completely eradicate those things. Sometimes the only solution is to make a bigger circle of good things, of good memories, that's so big that the bad circle is just so small in comparison" This really hit hard 🥺Even after everything Ker Wei had been through, he still found found a way to find his own peace. Thanks for sharing all of your stories, you guys are warriors.
Someone I knew from my secondary school was bullied for ages. When he finally snapped and fought back, he got into trouble for being violent. Teachers said, “no matter what, it’s his fault for being violent.” Bruh. A simple punch is nothing compared to the psychological damage prolong bullying can have on an individual.
Even up to now, bullying has never been tackled at all. Back then in Primary and Secondary school, many times I did fear for my life going to school. It was only my secondary school band that I still found a reason to go to school. Things only started to look up when I started to delve more into music in Poly, then LASALLE which honestly were the best years of school life I've ever had. Bloody enjoyed that honestly.
8 years is such a long time. No one should ever have to go through this in life, EVER. I am sorry that there are so many victims of bullying out there. Kudos to the interviewees for being so strong and getting through this painful period and speaking up about it today
My younger brother was bullied throughout his secondary school. He was suicidal. No words can describe how my heart broke for him. Thankfully, poly and church changed his life. He is good now. We don’t talk about the bullying anymore. But it’s something we couldn’t forget😢
I'm sorry that your brother had to go through that, but am glad to hear that he was able to find the help that he needed! Indeed, the topic of bullying and how to tackle it must be talked about more
Don't talk about it doesn't mean it's not there. Most of the time religion teach to suppress these emotions. Propagate that their god will heal or smthg 🙄
Not just for youth , but in the adult workplace. As a doctor, I had been bullied when I was in the Houseman , Medical officer and previous aesthetic clinics . Always tell myself, focus on me ! Only focus on ME, God will deals with them . Which works so well . Sending loves to those who is encounter the current situation
I feel disgusted and disappointed with these people who make bullying their hobby. I was bullied by my colleagues when I was a trainee teacher in one of the top schools in Singapore years ago. Even after I had left the school, one of the teacher-bullies actually spread some false rumours about me to a teacher in the other school where I was teaching. She was supposed to be my mentor during my training but had sabotaged me instead, obviously out of jealousy over my youth and higher qualification. She was talking bad about me for years, no matter which school I ended up teaching at. I suspect she was trying to cover her tracks. For such a person, I honestly do wish for karma upon her.
That Ker Wei sums up bullying and its effects so well, it's very hard to hear these types of stories, but it gives such great awareness- anyone/everyone can play a part, choose to make a positive choice because these victims don't want karma for their bullies, but karma will visit those bullies kids and the bullies will learn the hard way !
Yao feng, Ker Wei and Tammy, appreciate you for sharing about your experiences. Your beautiful hearts to forgive your tormentors is admirable. Thank you for showing to me what it looks like to be strong and kind in character and soul. You are greatly loved by your families and friends ❤
Unfortunately bullying still takes place even in adulthood. I don’t think one can ever heal from the trauma but what we can do is be more empathetic and not be a bully ourselves. Learning how to set boundaries and cutting off toxic people when necessary. Thank you for sharing your stories and hopefully life will be better for all of you ❤
Bullies bully because they are secretly insecure people. they need to see someone in a lower position than them in order to appease their insecurity (e.g. their inner self can then tell themself they are not the only one who is lousy because there is someone suffering infront of them).. that is why you see bullies have a lot of insecurity issues when they enter relationships. In relationships, their insecurity will come full force
on the contrary, people who are emotionally secure dont need to watch others suffer to feel. because they are secure about themselves. they are like pillars. these people tend to have successful and blissful relationships and families. unfortunately, it's usually a cycle. but the cycle can be broken. ultra rare but possible. you will notice that no amount of money nor looks can buy the feeling of inner security; there are many examples around.
I was bullied for 2 years in primary 5 and 6. Took me years to get back my self confidence... Thanks for sharing in this video. Hearing your stories gave me strength. What didn't kill us made us stronger.
I was bullied growing up as well, In primary school, I was bullied for being the kid that cried a lot because I just wasn't used to being alone without my parents and this was the first time I ever set foot in a SJKC environment where English wasn't the main language spoken there. They would insult me, push me around and make me feel like actual shit. One time, we were getting a check-up by the school dentists and they just decided to pull their stunt there, it got to a point where I was so angry at them that I chased them throughout the school all the while, they laughed at me and made fun of me. I then was found by a teacher who took pity on me and brought me back to class, despite months of bullying and torment, all they ever really got was a slap on the wrist. They stopped as I was then transferred to a higher tiered class but even then, I never fit in. Then came secondary school, I was new and naive, and had ended up dabbling with terrible people who always made me feel worthless, insecure and just overall terrible about myself. Didn't help that I was the new kid and no one knew me, I too had anger issues growing up purely because of the fact that I hurt anyone yet this was pushed onto me. Further more, they would make fun of me for a certain "thing" that I did at the very beginning of my first semester and hung it over my head, me being afraid of them sharing this "thing" they had on me, I kept my mouth shut, afraid to ever say anything because of the amount of shame it made me feel. The amount of toxic friend groups that I kept hopping to was insane, each time I did, they would talk bad about me and call me obscenities despite the fact that I just wanted to be friends and live a chill life. I never asked for it, they just picked me because I was an easy target apparently. Nice person equated to that I guess. I'm 20 now, still healing from all the mental scars they left me. I would say I was one of the luckier victims of bullying, the amount of horror stories that I have heard of worse cases makes me wish the worst on those that ever played the role of a bully. I've been picking up the pieces since then, I've left out a lot and we haven't even gotten to the late teen stuff that eventually got really heavy. I'm happy to say that I'm in a better place now, I'm doing all that I can to elevate myself physically (bodybuilding, boxing), mentally (Psychology, learning about self) and Spiritually (Meditating, self-recordings of thoughts). I only realize now that all of these have been repressed as it all hurt so much. To those dealing with bullying currently or in the future, it does get better, slowly but surely, do not let those that can't even have the common decency to be nice affect who you are in the future. While we can say that they might have been hurt individuals too, that still does not give them the right to do what they do. Fight back if you can, tell someone that is credible if you're able to, and please, fight for your right to live and persevere for not only those that care about you but yourself. You are stronger than you think you are I personally never wanted to fight back or hurt anyone. I, like many people, hate bullies.
@@kalimbapapa2017 Thank you bro for your kind words, I wish the best for you. As stated before, I'm lucky to have gotten out of it. I still have thoughts about those days but am currently healing and doing my best to be the best version of myself!
Sorry to hear about all that you've been through :( Glad to know that you've been striving to heal, and hope that your journey will only get easier from here ❤
Ignoring is literally the last thing you should be doing if you're getting bullied. I don't know why people are still giving such advices. It will not get them to stop and they will not get bored. You're just making yourself a much easier target for them.
Being bullied my entire secondary school life with no support and understanding from family, it was tough back then but it also shaped me to be better and stronger as an adult.
Bullies have either issues that weren't resolved (could be domestic or other factors) they are either jealous of you and/or your abilities. They project their insecurities on others and leach on any praises they get from their friends who support them. Just childish behaviour. This happens in schools and workplaces. Just stand your ground and don't let them get to you. Surround yourself with friends and others who understand and appreciate you. You don't owe anything to bullies, they don't deserve you.
So many bullies actually think they are doing the right thing bullying someone, and so many think the quiet victim who doesn’t retaliate is weak or stupid.
Very sorry to the 3 of you, no one should be treated this way. What's really sad also is that even teachers couldn't, or rather, failed to support during those times a student desperately required their help. Know that it is not your fault for things to be this way, but it is society that needs to respect another human being. Hopefully things are better now. :'(((
All of you are brave and beautiful people and im so glad that you found the strength to get through what you went through. As a fellow bullied person i only wish i knew you and could have given you the support you were seeking. You are my heroes.
Being a bully victim is the worst thing. It’s very hard to rise up from being bullied when in their minds you’re already weak so they will continue being more aggressive.
Thank you Ker Wei, Tammy & Yao Feng for bravely sharing your very personal stories. You have overcome a lot and am sure God have great plans for you in ways you cant imagine! You are loved & greatly treasured!💓💗
I really strongly resonated with their experiences. I was bullied as well throughout my school life. One of my ex-classmates even told me not to sit with her and her friends during recess break. I was really hurt by her comments and have not forgotten it. Some even had the cheek to ask me how I was doing. Thank you to the 3 participants in this video for sharing your stories, I know it was not easy to talk about it. You guys have come a long way to finding a healing process and it was a eye-opening perspective :)
I really wish that I have met these 3 survivors. My own experience can be a bit similar to them, but these 3 did not mention if they have any diasabilites that caused them to be bullied. I have autism or ASD. My own memories as a victim, bullies such as classmates, teachers, co-workers, managers and totally strangers did not know me at all. I had no clues how to explain to them about my situation, they instantly saw me as an odd one and I never understood why I got picked on. I wish everyone has empathies and understandings of me and not to judge my status.
The first 2 cases could easily be a precursor to the river valley murder case. While it didn't happen, most schools are always keen to swept such bullying cases under the rug.
I was also bullied in primary and secondary school days. The same as what Ker Wei had said these schools are affiliated so will get to see the same people in secondary school and the bullying continues. Based on my personal experience I've tried reaching out and seek help from teachers but to no avil. The teachers during my time had either failed to identify or most probably ignored bullying because I think they didn't want to deal with it as its too much on their plate. because of all the bullying experience i never liked teachers and going to school until now. Im sure bullying is everywhere not only in schools but in the workplace as well. Bullies will not know what they did is wrong, they will think its fun and mainly is to make themselves feel good. it is always important to start educating and stop bullying in schools, so that these students will become better adults in future.
worse i was bullied in a Catholic primary and secondary called St garbage (Gabriel) not only was i verbally abused and hit with object and paper bullets flung by the rubber band. To add insult to injury when i asked my sec 5 form and math teacher why i could not take Additional Maths she said the normal stream could not make it But when next year in poly i scored B plus for engineering math in polytechnic. Most of them were Catholics both students and teachers. The people who treated me with respect were the Malay Muslim classmates and a Nepalese Buddhist classmate who treated me well. In fact the Nepalese Buddhist guy told me if someone were to touch me, he would whack the person on my behalf. I don't know what to say. My own race would not defend me, but other races would. As a Greek Orthodox Christian i know what our incarnated God said a prophet is never welcomed in his own hometown Parents, please don't send your children to St Garbage (Gabriel) Primary and Secondary school. The education you received is horrible and not well rounded. From my experience most of the teachers have no good values. Lastly their school result is not consistently outstanding for PSLE and NT and O Level. Even in RI if you were weak in certain subjects like history maths or mother tongue, they will coach you after all after curriculum time. That is the reason why the school result has been consistently beyond dreams If you want to go to elite catholic primary and secondary school, they are catholic high primary and secondary Maristella primary and Maristella high and sji junior and sji. As a student in these schools, you would not find any trouble but hardworking quiet students who just want to do well for their PSLE and O levels. I learn more about the world after i left that horrible school ad i never want to see most of them for eternity. I was found in polytechnic to have Asperger syndrome a form of autism and paranoid signs I am talking medicine from my psychiatrist. I am calmer and can now understand my surrounding better
At my school's O levels result release day, the people who bullied me had single digit L1R5 scores while i only managed 20. After being bullied by people who were influenced by the bullies from my primary school (since my primary and secondary school are affiliated, and being in the same CCA for all 4 years in secondary school), scoring lower in O levels than them hurt so bad
I have an opposite experience. The most intense bullying happened in NS. Not sure if my story would ever get published on a public platform like OGS though.
there were a group of chinese adolescent (13--16 year old estimated) teen boys near clark quay singapore kicking an already downed (laying on the ground) also a chinese teen boy of the same age, they kicked him unconcious and continued. None of the could have fought in a toe to toe fight. This is how these people operate in comfortable groups against minority.
My niece was a victim too. Unfornately she didn't walked out of it. She is already 25. I can really empathise with the victim in this video. I wonder if the wicked get punished.
@@teeteetuu94 me too, 18 years and 14 years respectively. I still need to see a counsellor now. That's why I went to use vigilante justice to teach those bullies a lesson.
i been bullied for years during my primary school. Worst of all, my own parents also bullied me. Never have encouragement from them, always say me im slow learner, not good in studies. Eventhough i got second class for my degree, no congratulations from them. Only say "lucky you pass your Degree". Nevertheless, I give lots of love and encouragement to my kid and my kid got "Student of the year". Eventhough your parents never give any morale support, dont do the same to your kids
I'm so angry from hearing these accounts of bullying! Bullies don't know how bad it'll affect the victims! I hope bullying will never happen in SG with stringent laws in place.
Unfortunately the laws in SG against bullying are practically nonexistent. I wish there are proper laws against bullying to prevent it from happening but sadly, there aren't. The life-long trauma from being bullied is massive and that is if you're lucky to survive the pain of being bullied so idk why more isn't being done to prevent it from happening in the first place.
You are not alone i been bully many time and i was very sad and i left the group it so terrible, i been insulted a lot from my secondary school . 😢 From now i still have social anxiety and depression because of them i have left them i feel happy.
It's awful to know that the actions and words that bullies inflict on their victims have such a lasting impact, even if they aren't aware :( Sending all the love and light your way, and hope that you'll find the strength to start healing ❤
Bullies are emotional coward . They are not happy with their life they couldn’t handle their own emotion so they pick on someone to release it . And they only Pick on someone who they think they can . This is coward
Teaches should play a role in instilling a positive culture and environment... For example, they could encourage role models in classes.. Education has a lot to improve
it's so sad that this is a never ending problem. i still remember 2 decades ago, i was in a similar situation and did research on carbon monoxide and how you should hold a stack of weights when you jump.
My son was bullied from primary school. He didn't tell me anything about it. He did have panic attack in school and no teachers told me what happened. Until secondary 4, he wanted to jump off in school. His teachers called me and told me what happened. He was counselled but his results was effected badly. In the first two years in ITE, he's no problem until higher year/4th year he was maligned by a girl. He rushed off the class while we were having meeting with the lecturers. I shouted them to stop him as I know he wanted to jump off.
All bullies or those who can’t study well in secondary school, mostly all now become insurance/property agent , club DJ, set up own business or even influencer. lol 😅
Parents really have to instill in their children not to be bullies when they go to school. I asked many of my friends and everyone of them told me they have never brought this topic up with their children. I suppose as long as their children are not being bullied.
I remembered in primary school, a boy who sat to my right kept bullying me, but I ignored him. Eventually he got bored, and started bullying the girl on his right, until she started crying. When I saw that he made her cry, I punched him really hard, so he ended crying and ran to the teacher to complain. But the teacher took my side and told him “ORH BE QUACK!” 😂 I think after that the teachers must have talked to each other about the incident, because every year after that, I would always get seated beside a naughty boy…
If you don't like what's done to you, then it's never right to do the same to others. Quote. If one can't tell moral right from wrong, it's not because of a lack of religion but a lack of empathy. Empathy is a learned.
Its sad to hear. But it does happened. Personally being bullied for weird reason. Like for my voice, my boobs (due to puberty) and even for result (when i topped the class they commented i cheated. ) Even till now it still hunt me sometimes. But it also makes me grow to be who i am now. Great job for speaking out.
Thankfully 3 years in upper primary school, 4 years in secondary school, 2 years Jc or 3 years poly , and 2 years NS (if boy). So the max u can kenna bullied is 3-4 years. I was bullied in primary 6. Escaped to a different secondary school which none of my primary schoolmates went. While i was able to escape from bullying, i didnt speak up when some of the class girls bullied another girl in secondary school.
Some bullies bully because they are jealous of the target. I was bullied because i got great figure but i wear extremely thick glasses as i am already 1200 degree at age 2. Now i am already legally blind. She is most beautiful girl in class but the senior in our secondary school prefer my F cup (now G cup) size with a 18 inch waist in secondary school. The class monitor and a low grade male class mate told me. Later in secondary 3, more guys also admit it to me because she is no longer the most beautiful girl class as we got 3 new girls. Teachers even tell me to reflect because i am the only girl in class who complain. My then 26 years old form teacher Vivian who become a teacher while waiting for her move to Perth to be art student isn't someone qualified to be any teacher. I was so scared that i hide in wardrobe to avoid going to school. Thanks god i was introduced to TCS and have a successful career at age 19. If i wasn't born with a great figure due to my mum's dna my entire life will be ruined. Only after leaving the school i realised my figure wasn't a shame and there is something call contact lens. My parents aren't wealthy enough to provide me such privileges in my younger days. Bullying can ruin a person life but to all those being bullied i hope you walk out of it for your own benefit. The bullies won't feel remorse and continue to progress in their life. You cannot let yourself stuck in pain and sadness.
I am curious. What on earth were the teachers doing throughout this time? I wonder if the bullies would ever see this video and even feel a morsel of remorse
Speaking from experience, back in 2010s, the teachers were absolutely incompetent. You can show up to class covered in bruises and they will only reprimand you for your messy appearance. They're useless.
Learning to handle bullying as someone in authority also requires skills and I don't think the teachers know to cope with it. Being a teacher is tough enough and also...secondary schoolkids are brutal lah, they also bully the teachers. I remember my JC classmate bragging about how they (a whole class of RI boys) made their teacher cry. Yes, RI. So, it's a common thing from the "worst schools" to the "best schools". I work in a secondary school now as a non-teaching staff and hear about how the kids bully the teachers too and it's demoralising for the adults. As much as we hope the people in authority can do something about it, there's only so much that can be done. The best way is for the kids to grow up knowing that everyone has worth and they are to value it in themselves and those around them.
There are so many others under the radar...those who were ridiculed for speaking out and have since resigned to living out the insults. Everyone should speak out regardless of public opinion. Nothing to lose, really. "You're too sensitive" will suddenly turn into an insult when used against the very people who invalidated your suffering.
Parents need to be friends with your children, so that they will talk to you. Results is not everything. I came from a broken family, father bash mum, throw water to us when we sleep. I was also fat from young, but I was good in sports but whenever what I want to join in school, my classmate will says she fat cannot jump, but when I served in volleyball those in school team cannot get my ball too, I played badminton against 2 school team player, I only lost 1 point. I dun have O levels. I stayed alone in my parents' home when I was 17 years old, but I grew up very open minded with positive mind. I am very close to my son and we behave like friends, he is in a IP school now, in primary school he was also bullied, but this bully bullied alot of students, he also threw teacher's hp and heel down, his parents are not doing anything and avoided me, since school cannot do anything, I went outside the school to warn the boy cos I want to see the parents but still they nv come at all and the grandma also stop picking this bully. I only heard the mum is a JC teacher. Since they not doing anything, I told my son to fight back, when he come my son will self defense himself, block, kick back and run away, after few times, the bully had to stay on the floor after my son kick back, he nv come back. Not that we cannot fight, we just dun want too.
Parents who don't stand up for their bullied child, or even blame the child for it, are useless. Shouldn't have the privilege of having kids in the first place.
I hated school because of bullying since sec 1 and until poly. It sucks but thank you guys for being so brave and courageous until now. Thank you for sharing and letting me know that I’m not alone 🥲
I was bullied in kindergarten by a girl who laughingly had a moustache at the age of 5yrs old. Her mum was an exact image of her so I imagined it started at home where her mum taught her how to be tough at that young age. In Pri school, I was bullied and ostracized by someone whom I considered a friend who was having family issues and kinda lying through it to get attention from the class. Thankfully everything was resolved and a group of bookworms adopted me into their group. Having gone through periods of bullying made me a more solid person because it forces you to grow a steel backbone and literally developed courage as an adult. Sure there are plenty of tears and self doubt but I was very blessed to have great friends and family for support. I still rely on my experience for courage. If I can survive those periods, I can survive anything. Also remember. Deep down, bullies are cowards. If you call them out, they usually back off or they run off. Works like a charm everything.
For some reason I honestly think bullying made certain "victims" better. I know people who always trying "revenge" by being better at life and being successful than their school bullies. I constantly stalk my ex-bullies online, and if I know they are doing well (financially), it motivates me to do even better than them. Additionally, i get a schadenfreude moment if they aren't doing so well. One of my bullies back in an all-girls school grew up to become pretty which really peeved me, but i secretly hope she does not have bigger boobs than me. Don't have any bad feelings for them as these don't do anything good or benefit oneself.
Most of the time, these behaviors are because their parents are absent/busy and don't pay enough attention to them. Of course, coming from a broken family does not excuse their actions but it is a reason why they did it.
@@silentgamer88And the victims they pick are usually from these type of families too. Don't need to justify why bullies bully, they just aren't good people at heart.
11:55 Isn't that the way it should be? U appeared as the bully, hence its rightful for parents to remind their kid in good not to be like you. Ask youself, why target you when there are others who did not score as well. If you are hurt that time, you gotta blame it on your choice to inflate your perceived sense of power when you were offered options. But now, we grow, we moved on, we should share and offer the right way to deal with such.
You missed the point. The parents asked for Yao Feng's PSLE score, scoffed him for it and asked their kids to stay away from him. Were their behaviour really necessary, or even fitting of a mature adult? Don't forget that children (aka yao feng's classmates) learn from their parents. Yao Feng still remembers the encounter till this day, we can only imagine how put down he felt and the impact of their words. If he was indeed a product of the bad company that he hung out with, he could have retaliated. But he did not. How is he as a bully in this manner? On the other hand, surely the parents are full grown adults who can do way better than such condescending behaviour? They should take responsibility for their actions, no?
The issue is obviously the system, when teachers are told a kid is being bullied, what the teacher do afterwards matters a lot, not just tell the kid to ignore the bullies.
Bullying is preventable. To those who are bullied, have u ever asked to yourself why u are the one who get bullied, why not my other classmates. It's about social skill at the end of the day, there are people who are fat but not bullied and well liked, people who are poor but well liked and friends with the rich kids, people who are stupid but still well liked.
the mental gymnastics you had to do to type all that. so if I'm someone that's not social able, that's why I'm getting bullied? or maybe bullying is wrong is the first place, and people with proper upbringing and decent morals wouldn't do allat.
what comes easy to you might not be easy to others. It might be more difficult for some people to interact with others, or have "good social skills." Everyone has their own pros and cons, and as a fellow human being, we should learn to accept everyone as they are.
The first guy lolz people called him names and he got traumatised for life….who hasn’t been called names in school if u have thin skin it’s pretty hard to survive. If he had taken it in his stride and laughed it off his life would be so diff. Sorry unless they did something worse than that which he isn’t saying I can’t empathise. In life you can never control what happens or what others do, you can only control your own reaction which then determines the outcome of a situation.
@@wyxs12 bruh u probably have not heard of actual severe bullying cases that can cause lifelong effects. Sure it’s sad that kids called him names but him blaming that on lifelong emotional damage? Cmon that’s fucking bullshit.
@@thunderbananas2289 that’s their story to recount. Who is to judge whether that can cause emotional distress or not? I dare not be ignorant lest I become just like the bullies - those that stand on the sidelines when things go awry
@@wyxs12 hey he has every right to claim emotional distress man but I have every right not to pity him and he has no one to blame for his current state of mind but himself. Things that people do to you in life can affect physical outcomes but only you can control your mentality about it.
