"We thought we were being careful with our drinks"... Hi, rape culture, of COURSE you show up in these situations. You SHOULD be able to drink as much as you want and leave your drink (whether it's alcohol, soda, or water) wherever and NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING DRUGGED! You did NOTHING WRONG
Thank you 😭 I wish the world wasn’t this way, it sucks that we DO have to be so careful and even when we’re so sure we WERE careful, this can still happen 😞
exactly!!! we should be freaking able to but we can’t and i hate it so much cuz terrible people ruin everything u can be the most careful person and still 💔💔 and this goes for anything not even just this topic
@@ToxicTears this has literally happened to me before, around people that I thought I could trust. This isn't your fault, I love you so very much! You brought me out of my Goth shell years ago. Always by your side! Love you girl, take care.
I’ve worked in nightlife and been a patron to many nightclubs here in the u.s. I know all of the precautions to avoid getting dosed, we have security, I am always surrounded by friend and coworkers… and I and others have still been drugged. It’s not your fault, it’s never the victims fault. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
When I go to clubs alone, I always take my drink with me, even to the restroom. I've been spiked before too, and it was not fun. I had to have a friend come to get me, as I was in no shape to drive. It's never the victim's fault. Many times I have the bartender hold my drink behind the bar till I come back for it. (Jan Griffiths).
Hun I got spiked once and it was found out it was GHB, none of my crew allowed anything to happen to me they were feeding me water and street meat to push it out of my system quickly as possible...then one of my friends took care of me overnight, it's bloody scary when it happens but if ur lucky enough to know ur body and know when something is off it does help...
It just infuriates me how we women must always be on guard at every moment of our day, our life, even in the comfort of our home and neighborhood and all the usual places of our routine. We should not have to be afraid to go to the bathroom alone, walk with our keys in hand like brass knuckles, carry pepper spray or panic buttons and knives when all we want are pockets to stick our wallets in but now our purse is laden with tools for protection. We should be able to turn our head without some sleazeball dropping something into our drink. We should be able to dance 💃 and not be considered a target. A short skirt is not an invitation. We should be able to live life on our terms and not be in fear from predatory men. 🙌
This comment is everything. I remember coming home from WORK, a 9-5 type job and getting ONE drink. Next thing I knew my head was spinning after two sips, and I knew something was wrong. I come from German stock and can drink anyone under the table. My intuition told me one more sip of my drink and I would be unconscious. I got up and left a nearly untouched drink I paid 20$ for. By the time I made the 2 blocks home and into my apartment, I passed out. I remembered nothing but the first two sips and waking up the next morning. Women can hardly do anything without worrying about shady men. Even during work/daylight hours we are NOT safe. No matter where we are and what we do. I know it was the bartender. But I had no proof. There is no greater evil on earth than some of the men out there
@@k.a.2241 "There is no greater evil on earth than some of the men out there"- evil actions are NOT limited by gender; it's a human thing. Sorry that happened to you though. :/
When I was 4 months pregnant (wasn’t drinking but I was out with my fiancé), a guy kept trying it on with me, he would NOT take dirty looks, ignoring him, or telling him to F off for an answer. Once the club closed he found me outside sitting on the pavement talking to a girl I know, I was fully aware of the situation, I stood up and started stepping towards him. The girl I was talking to then got up, starting screaming at this guy for interrupting our conversation and tried to swing for him 😂, he then became very apologetic because we kept getting closer, she was shouting and I was telling him to leave. My fiancé got involved, very calmly walked over asked if there was a problem, me and the girl started panicking because even though my fiancé is a very level-headed guy, he’s a boxer and he has a temper. Then they disappeared and I dunno what happened to the guy 😂
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Also, sometimes bad shit just happens no matter how careful you are and anyone blaming you for this should be ashamed of themselves.
The only person who needs to be attacked is the person who did it! I hate people who blame the victim of the act not the person doing it! I'm sorry someone did this to you. I'm glad you are safe 🖤🖤🖤
I had a "friend" spike my drink twice. The first time I thought maybe it was an off thing. I hadn't eaten much that day. I thought maybe I'm just coming down with something or just having an off day. The second time it happened at his house, I knew. Both times I had barely drank anything. The second time I'd had ONE beer. I was so sick, I couldn't stop throwing up for over an hour. I went home both times, thankfully, and nothing happened. Knowing what he was trying to do though still makes me sick. I have a heart condition. I can't take sedatives. He seriously could have killed me. Can't even trust your "friends." I'm glad you're ok.
As scary as hearing about new methods for drugging unsuspecting people, I've heard of people being poked by needles, someone "accidentally" bumps into you and you don't even realize you have been drugged. It's terrifying that you can try to be careful "watch my drink" etc and still can be affected
Yeah I can’t believe the way the world works. I can also think of some other things I’ve heard too, pertaining to women trying getting into their own cars and not making it in for a certain reason. Sorry if that sounds cryptic but I don’t want to give ideas, if you catch my drift.
Actually there was a huge rise of exactly this happening in the UK a year or so back. People being spiked via needles became a real issue. I don’t believe that’s what happened to me, but it absolutely does happen.
oh Kaya :( i’m sorry this happened love. anyone trying to blame this on you is vile and ABSOLUTELY malicious. you are being too kind. fuck those people.
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING UP!♥ I know being open about traumatic experiences is scary, but I feel women need to talk. We need to talk often and talk LOUDLY! We need the world to know that women are fucking fed up with being raped, assaulted, abused, drugged, stalked and murdered. I was well into my 20s before I realized just *how many of my FRIENDS AND FAMILY had been sexually assaulted.* No one talked about it. We need to keep the conversation going.✌
My friend was spiked in our small town in the middle of the day. It's really scary. Most of the time it's just a power trip rather than trying to steal things or worse but like...this can literally kill people. I'm glad you had people around you 💜 especially who could recognise that it was not normal for you
omg this title has made my heart drop. Still have to watch it all but wow. This world is filled with awful people and I am so sorry you had to go through this.
It's a good thing that you made this video, people need to know how a victim of spiked drinks acts like so they can identify the signs and help in time.
I'm so sorry this happened to you 🖤 I've had my drink spiked before as well. Please don't blame yourself. It can really happen to anyone. I was spiked by a literal bar employee, who I knew well and asked to watch my drink. I barely had anything to drink and I literally crawled home (I lived across the street). I woke up to him on top of me trying to kiss me. I was in and out of consciousness for idk how long of that happening, but I finally started to yell at him to get off me and he got scared and left. The scary part is, he had gotten to me way later than he anticipated. He had gotten held up leaving where he was at. If he had gotten to me when he wanted I would have been completely unconscious and defenseless. I just wanted to share that in case anyone else has experienced this. Stay safe out there guys. 🖤
My spiking was by a bartender also. Now I only have beers at bars, beers that are NOT on tap and where you must pop the cap then and there to serve me. I take NOTHING from a bartender that is opened without me seeing
BYOB type places are the easiest places to get spiked. Normally, a barback has almost total control over drinks, can watch for people being shady, etc. When everyone's bringing their own, so easy to just pop something in a bottle "Oh it's just a bottle of Jack I had around" and boom, spikes all around.
my younger colleague said her friend got spiked via injection, it seems to be the new thing (this was in NI!!!). Please never blame yourself, victim blaming in any context is absolutely crass :(
I had heard injection spiking has happened a lot in the UK especially. It's scary. But I'm glad she's not going to let it stop her from having all the fun with her friends she wants. I agree, no one asks for this sort of thing and no one deserves it. Victim blaming is such ignorant, asinine thinking.
This happened to me years ago and nobody believed me out of my family and called me embarrassment etc and since then stopped me wanting to go out drinking . I’ve never gotten that drunk before and I couldn’t remember anything from midnight ish and kept being sick and passing out etc. I wasn’t myself and didn’t even drink enough to get to that stage . I’m sorry this happened to you too ❤️
It’s happened to me many times in my youth I can handle my drink very well but also didn’t drink much even when I did drink. No one believed me especially whatever toxic person I was with at the time calling me “dramatic” because they had to leave their precious pub. I’m sorry you went through that ickiness I hope you are feeling better now sending love and hugs 🥰❤️.
@@AurianLunaLou 💗💗💗 I’m sorry you’ve been through that too ! I’m honestly so embarrassed even years later . I was told I said some embarrassing things along with it and my boobs at one point basically had to be covered cause I had a dress on and obv when you’re spiked and passing out … :/ so hearing what happened along with having to be carried to car , passing out , being sick , no memory from after a certain time and I didn’t even drink alot . Never ever had that happen to me before at all. Never passed out before that . Being taken home and nobody to believe me and say I’m a embarrassment etc it really ruined me . :( Hugs 💗
This happened to me about 20 years ago, it was a complete nightmare. Looking back and now seeing your video, I can definitely tell you to stop apologizing and worrying about others. You are a victim, you were drugged! I didn’t realize I was a until years later, I was so preoccupied when it happened with people shaming me I wasn’t able to process it. It’s ok to say how you feel and talk about your experience without worrying about others. If people are that shallow they suck! I’m so sorry this happened to you.
That is absolutely horrific, Kaya! I am so, so sorry that happened to you. I'm so thankful you and your friend are alright. That's so scary. You have some amazing friends who noticed something was wrong. And they also stayed with you and your other spiked friend. Good on them! Glad you're okay!
I'm happy your friends were with you. i can't imagine what could have happened. I've been most likely drugged once, i was 18 and with a boyfriend and his friends. One drink and I don't remember anything. But i woke up next to him, ine friend, and another friend in the living room with my pants and underwear on the other side of the room. I still have no idea what happened. And i stayed with him. He said nothing happened and i wanted to believe that. They made jokes that I would het pregnant by sitting on the toilet seat. I had one flashback recently recently and it was really scary. It came back almost 20 years later. 😢
Sat here crying, having been through this it’s really difficult to have memory gaps. The police told me not to beat myself up trying to remember the memories are just not there. It will take time to get to your head round it. Rest easy and take it a day a time
Unfortunately I experienced this aswell though I luckily didn't have to go to the hospital... I remember getting extremely sick and drowsy, saying that it didn't make sense because I didn't drink that much and blacking out eventually. I puked out my damn soul the whole next day though... It was a house party that I went to with someone that I thought was my friend... Months later I found out that he left me in the hosts bedroom with another of his friends whilst I was knocked out and that his friend had "slept with" me. I was horrified, tried to tell him that that's rape and asked him to give me his friends information so I could take legal action... He shamed me, told me that I had lost my mind and the worst of all "It couldn't have been rape since you seemed awake." I felt so disgusted and ashamed... and it took years for me to speak with anyone else about it because I was afraid of people telling me it wasn't wrong and that it was my fault... I'm so extremely happy that you had good friends with you and that it didn't escalate even more than it already did. I hope you'll be safe in the future. It's not your fault and it's okay to be sad about it.
@@cronchcrunch7287 That's easier said than done unfortunately. He only told me what happened over 6 months after the fact and I had no evidence other than my own words...
I've honestly been in a very similar situation, and it's terrifying to think what could have happened. Just know you're not alone and it sounds like you've got really great friends!
You shouldn't have to be careful. You will never be at fault for the awful things people do. :( I'm so sorry this happened to you two. I hope you're both okay :( 💔🌈💕✨️ I'm sure everyone understands that this wasn't you--so I doubt anyone thought negatively about you and the ones who don't know--they probably don't even know you anyway. So why would they have an opinion? and you don't need to worry about them if they do 💕✨️ all the important people know better 💗 I'm relieved you had a good group with you at least.
hearing your story is making me realize that i was roofied and i didn't even know it. I always thought something was off about the night in question but never came to that conclusion until now
wondering this myself too... i hadn't even drunk that much but i got really sick and passed out in the bathroom. an ambulance had to be called and i blacked out. woke up in the hospital and the staff looked at me like i was a piece of shit😐
@@serenity2478 hospitals can be filled with narcs who only do the job to look good to other ppl. Dont feel too bad about how ppl like that look at you. They're pure trash and try to bring everyone down to their pathetic level
The hospital tested my urine and found bennies :( it was horrendous and I still have big black holes of memory nearly 7 years later. I'm so sorry this happened to you, its absolutely horrendous
I'm so sorry you and your friend went through this. This was definitely not your fault. Please don't blame yourself and I'm so glad that there were people there who helped both of you to get to safety. I'm a rape survivor and watching you talk about what happened makes my blood boil. This world is terrifying to live in.
I’m so sorry this happened, and thank you for sharing your story. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. 💗 Hearing the sadness in your voice is heartbreaking. If you’re able, please consider speaking to a trauma informed professional to help you process what happened.
I don't understand why they couldn't test what drug was put in your system. I feel like that is something a doctor needs to know to make sure you are fully treated
I'm so sorry this happened to you hun. I lucked out and realized my housemate had put a paralytic in my drink before I could drink the whole thing, but ive been there. I just can't imagine not knowing what happened, I can't imagine having to take the words of others as truth. Thos scary beyond belief. I hope youre taking care of yourself. I hope you have access to mental health care professionals that can help you process this if you need help. Know you are loved and cherished by those near and far.
I can really empathize with you. A couple of years ago my husband and I went to an evening wedding reception. The only memory I have is walking into the venue and getting my first drink. The rest is a blur. My husband and friends had to help me into our car, I was completely out of it. Apparently when I got home I collapsed in our garage, face first. I woke early in agony, went to the hospital and I had broken my hand and some ribs. I then heard that it had happened to two of my others friends. It's not funny, it's dangerous. I'm so sorry you had to go through this xxxxx
Sending you love! I've heard of nail polish that, if you tip into your drink, and it's spiked, the polish changes colors. Maybe that was a fever dream, but pretty sure I saw it somewhere. ❤❤❤
Yes, I thought the same thing but I saw it on a TV show so I wasn't sure if it was real. I just looked it up and it's called "Undercover Color". But it only detects date rape drugs and I've never heard of one that makes people violently ill. Also recently people have been drugged by injection which is basically impossible to protect yourself from. Which is infuriating that you have to think about protecting yourself from other people when you're just trying to have a fun night with your friends.
My heart sank when you shared the news on Instagram, that is one of the scariest things about being a woman :(( literally not one moment of peace. Thank you for sharing, Kaya!
This world is so twisted and sick! I’m so sorry that you had to go through this horrible experience. We love you and are thinking about you during this time. ❤️
It's unbeliviable that they didn't test anything in the hospital!!! 😩😩😩 So sorry for you guys, I'm glad you're okay and well now. Getting spiked is a big fear of mine and it's fucking sad how much it's happening all over the world... I wish karma get's asses of those who do shit like this so HARD.
I'm just so, so glad you're safe. I hate that you and your friend had to go through this, I know that had to be absolutely terrifying. Just take your time to rest and feel better. And please try to be kind to yourself. That's my favorite person you're bullying, don't do that. 😤 Seriously though. You're not a burden for this, there's no need to feel guilty or embarrassed or anything of the sort. I'm so glad you had people there to help you and your friend, and keep you safe. We love you, get some rest. ❤️
So super scary! I'm so glad you survived. This is all too common these days, one of my favorite designers was killed by being drug spiked and robbed on a night out in New York City last year (Katie Gallagher).
Always look out for your friends folks ♥️. Sometimes we’re the only ones standing between our people and disgusting monsters. I’m so happy you had people help you out. I’ve helped friends and strangers out in the past and I never felt inconvenienced or annoyed. It’s just something you do for people. Don’t feel guilty for having caring friends who want to take care of you ❤
I'm so sorry that happened to you and your friend. I'm glad you had people looking out for and helping both of you. It's wonderful that the venue is taking precautions so this doesn't happen again.
I’m so glad you are ok! I was spiked in Munich at Oktoberfest a few years ago (luckily had people to care for me too). It felt so violating, body and mind. I’m so glad you are safe and had friends to watch out for you!
That is so horrible. The same thing happen to my baby sister and her boyfriend at a party where they ended up getting jumped afterwards and sent to the ER. I'm so glad whoever it was in your case wasn't able to do more damage than they already had. Well wishes to you and your friend for a fast recovery. And don't be embarrassed by what happened. It wasn't your fault it was the fault of some sicko out there. You did nothing wrong. 🖤🖤🖤
That sucks so bad that happened to you and your friend. I'm so glad you both survived it. Hopefully Karma will get whoever did it. Sending you healing vibes. 💗🌈
I'm so glad you had people looking out for you, can imagine how scary & violating it must feel after this ❤ I know someone who was spiked just at afternoon drinks at a bar where even families eat, so as you say not your fault please try not to let this stop you having fun
This is terrifying, I'm glad you and your friend are ok. I find it weird how they wouldn't test to try find what you could of been spiked with, what if it was something that would need certain treatment!? My area has a bad issue with spiking, people are getting injected with things.
@Toxic Tears legit, especially if you didn't have the whole dose, I'd hate to know what would of happened 😳 and the fact you were still ill when you got home!? When I od'd they didn't let me leave until I wasn't throwing up anymore, I know it's a different situation but it's still the same in regards to poison in your body !?
No matter how careful you are, it is never your fault if you are the victim of someone else's malicious intent. I am so glad that you are both okay and that you have such good friends that were able to recognize that there was an issue and get you the help you needed. ❤ I'm too much of a recluse to go out to bars or clubs, but many people I know do. We live in a very high crime college town (well known "party college" in the US) and surrounding areas, so spiked drinks, intentional druggings and accidental exposure to fentanyl via other "recreational" substances have become so commonplace that they don't even make the news anymore. 😣
so sorry this happened to you babe. i definitely understand the anxiety and embarrassment, that’s how i reacted too. but i just wanted to say it’s not your fault or anything to feel shame for. and anyone who noticed your state enough to remember would be caring enough to find out what was happening. lots of love to you! and courage and peace in your healing journey.
I'm glad your friends were there to help and got you to the hospital. Sounds like a frightening experience. I hope your strength of character gets you through this and doesn't keep you from having any fun times in the future. Don't let the bastards grind you down. X
Hey Kaya thank you for sharing this, I was spiked a few years ago now, and I followed all the bogus ‘don’t leave your drink, leave it covered, leave it with someone you trust bs’ and my bottle (which had the cap screwed on when I wasn’t drinking it, and the worst part was the fact it was a bottle of echo falls, so people who I’d been drinking with for a while at first thought I’d gotten plastered on a 4% drink, luckily it also helped them clock on that something was wrong and got me back to my parents house) was spiked by someone I thought I could trust who thought I needed help to ‘have a good time’ so as you unfortunately got spot on, if someone is out to spike you they’ll succeed. Again thank you for sharing your story
It's truly sad how we always have to justify how we live our lives. There is nothing wrong with how YOU are living YOUR life. You are able to function and get shit done so it's just ridiculous that people feel the need to hound you about whatever you do. I also just absolutely hate that we always have to be on edge with drinks in a social situation. I am so sorry to hear that you and your friend experienced this. I am happy it did not end worse. I listen to too much true crime so that could have been worse if people weren't around to notice the odd or out of character behaviour. It's disheartening that as women we have to continue to justify our lives/actions and always been on the lookout for being "spiked" instead of having fun with our friends. I know the anxiety of trying to enjoy yourself while always keeping an eye on your drink or that thought always being there looming in the back of your mind. I am so sorry you were not taken seriously by the hospital or the police. That makes me feel like that's a chunk of why this can keep up, there's no repercussions for the people doing it. I will keep ranting and rambling, I'm sorry. Please stay safe out there, beautiful.
I hate to hear that this happened to you. You should be able to go to a venue and feel safe. It doesn't matter what you are drinking or what you do to protect your drink; if someone wants to spike your drink they will. Who knows what would've happened if your friends weren't there. Amazing friends you have! It's hard to find friends that will help you in such a difficult time. It's understandable that you would feel this way after such a traumatizing event. As always, if you have a therapist this would definitely be something to discuss with them. We care about you and hope that you get back to enjoying the things you love 💗
My 21 yr old daughter went to her first small venue at a bar in Dc here in the states to see a a couple live bands.we live in Baltimore MD . Its over an hour away before her and her 2 best friends left we went over the safety protocol. Never leave your friend group, when going to the bathroom go together, she was with her 2 gay male best friends so they couldn't actually go in with her but they all walked together and waited. Also DO not leave your drink unattended keep your hand over the top of the opening and DO NOT TRUST ANY MEN at all for any reason. We had a safe word and her location had to stay on so her dad and i could see her location incase something happened . Also we studied the floor plan incase of a mass shooter and where all the emergency exits are. Call me over protective but all these are a real problem here and happen often . Being the mom of 2 adult children ages 24 and 21 leaves me with crippling anxiety
So scary! So glad you are safe!! Just a heads up from one girl to another, there are nail polishes out there on the market you can put on, just dip a finger in and if it changes color, it's a spiked drink. there are other items but nail polishes were things I can't lose so it's my favorite.
@@CherrySprinkles Yep, Undercover Colors. I have some in red. If it turns black when dipped in a drink, it's been spiked. I've been lucky so far recently, but have been spiked in the past a couple of times. Very scary---you have no control. I had to get to a phone and call my bestie to come get me. (Jan Griffiths).
I was spiked 10+ years ago. Even now I still feel the ‘I hope people didn’t just think I was drunk’ feeling. It’s so ridiculous. It’s also the only time I’ve ever lost time.
Even though it was a horrible thing to have happened, i am glad it wasnt the worst scenario, i'm glad you're better now and i'm excited for the future content coming 💖
Don’t apologize for posting this video I’m so so sorry this happened to you it’s terrifying to feel so vulnerable and exposed like that. Not having control has always terrified me. It’s so fkn gross that people do stuff like this.
Thank you very much for talking on this issue. It's too often that we are shamed for things others do to us. Your sharing is in defiance of the idiotic taboo. I appreciate your bravery.
I am glad that you are okay now. I'm glad you had friends around. I hope the person who did it gets caught, shamed, and faces .... "proportionate consequences."
So sorry you have been through all of that 😔. It's so scary. I have been to so many raves and clubs back in the day, I am utterly shocked nothing like this ever happened to me. I used to drink anything and everything without a single worry about being drugged (as it should be but unfortunately some people are horrible and they just want to hurt others). I'm glad you're safe and that your friends were there to help you and watch over you so something worse didn't happen ♥.
Oh gosh I am so sorry this happened, I am glad you’re doing better. Honestly so suspicious about the guy who helped your friend get you down the stairs though. I’m glad you have such a good group around you who got you the help you needed
Nah he was just someone who happened to be there and saw my friend who is half the size of me struggling lmao. I think she also maybe said it’s someone she knows but I’m not 100% sure! But yeah I have zero reason to think it was him, it was a fairly small venue and a pretty close knit community for the most part, I do believe it was just someone helping out
Super scary. And the ones who judge you and say that's what you get are just trying to make you feel worse. I am sure you are always careful when you go out. I am glad you are safe and had good friends/people that knew this was not normal behavior. Keep being careful and always have someone with you, no matter what.
