I Was Warned Against Speaking Up

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In this video, I reflect on the shocking comments I received after sharing my story about leaving my UK husband due to domestic abuse. Many fellow immigrants and even some people back home told me I’d be deported or arrested if I didn’t stay silent. Some claimed sharing such stories could get me in trouble, and they urged me to take down my videos. These comments shook me to my core. Why are we, as black people and immigrants, so afraid to share our stories? Why do we spread fear instead of courage? #speakup #immigrationstories #fearless
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Опубликовано:

5 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 85

@mukamimungai 21 день назад

I'm currently going through that. Came here with a spousal visa, relationship broke down due to domestic violence. Got homeless and now with great support from agencies here, I now have settlement status with my daughter and I have my own house. People should not be afraid to speak up. Speaking up opens you to so many opportunities and support from agencies here. DO NOT KEEP QUIET.

@idahbanda1965 22 дня назад

You actually spoke about something that most people are hiding, then come online and act as if it’s all lovely. You did what most couldn’t do but stay in unhealthy relationships. So much is not rosey in those relationships so you were brave to say it out loud. Now that people are going to know the truth behind the closed doors. Many Africans are suffering in toxic marriages overseas just to keep up with the image that they living the “dream live”. Stay strong love and always choose yourself over anything that drains your joy.❤

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

You're 💯 correct. It's such a shame that people would suffer to maintain a fictitious image. But to each their own. Thank you for the advice 🫶🏾

@nataliephillips6251 22 дня назад

Don't hide abuse or injustice, speak up anyones disagreement is insufficient. Those people are only saying so cause as black people it has always been that we should take all that's thrown at us and keep silent. Highlighting any wrong done to us makes these other be accountable and they're conscience accuses them so they don't want the ugliness of them exposed. Keep sharing ❤💖

@theZulugoddess 22 дня назад

I'm super proud of you for speaking your truth. It is very easy to give in to fear from what other people say. Your feelings are valid and your strength to stand up for yourself gives others permission to be strong, so thank you for following your gut.

@topnineshow 14 дней назад

So glad you spoke out! The good thing about being a successful freelancer is you already know which ladders you climbed and how. You'll most definitely get back where you are and further!

@tessogamba 12 дней назад

Yes, I will. Thank you!

@f2debby469 22 дня назад

I love you gurl! and I wish to meet you someday. You are truly strong! You are doing awesome! Breaking generational gender imprisonment! I'm here rooting for you💟💟💟💟💟

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Aaaawww thank you 🧡

@cynthiawanjiru5947 13 дней назад

Tess, I love this. Ive been a silent follower but this inspired me a lot

@tessogamba 12 дней назад

I'm so glad! Thank you

@LeloClosetqueen 21 день назад

These stories need to be told. Truth has to be known. These devoted countries are not soo kind ,n glits n gold. Sad part is they are who they are because of our resources, from the hands of our forefathers, they should worship the group we walk on. But instead they still feel superior

@GRCRUAICHURCH 22 дня назад

For God is our strength, we keep on moving because where we're weak, He's strong. I love the quote, "Why do we spread fear instead of courage?"

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Amen and thank you 🧡

@gladysmichael 22 дня назад

May God give you strength Tess ,You shall overcome❤

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Thank you so much!

@daisymomanyi7663 21 день назад

I totally understand you I have the same situation as you right now in the UK and I know its hard especially with no support system and being homeless but I think iys good to talk about it and share cause you will break down and most people commenting don't even know how hard it is cause they have never faced that kind of situation

@mukamimungai 19 дней назад

Hello Daisy? Have you gotten any support?

@daisymomanyi7663 19 дней назад

@@mukamimungai I haven't due to not having recourse to public funds its hard I don't know what my next action is going to be and the worst I have an 8 month old baby in Foster care as well and they can't return her back if I can't show that I can take care of her financially its really heartbreaking

@estherinyang4779 16 дней назад

@@daisymomanyi7663 I'm so sorry to hear that Daisy, I pray you get through this and have your baby with you. Stay strong. much love from here.

@daisymomanyi7663 16 дней назад

@@estherinyang4779 Thank you

@SharonWaBarakaVlogs 19 дней назад

You cannot be deported for being a victim of DA, infant the opposite is true you get papers in your own right if your visa was spouse visa. Well done for being brave my daughter

@vivianatieno9854 22 дня назад

May Almighty God grant you strength our girl 💕💕😘, all shall be well 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

👐 thank you

@OliverNawoton 15 дней назад

Your ex husband was such a brat, I watched those two stories before you put them down. You’re an inspiration Tess!!!!🤗 i still miss the other channel of yours 🤦‍♀️ hugs from 256

@terriegeorgez1380 20 дней назад

Tess I'm happy that you are sharing what you went through and that's so encouraging. But to clarify just a statement, Those people weren't putting you the fear of God. They were intimidating you to be quiet. The fear of God is very different because it brings you closer to God and makes you peaceful and safe but these were intimidations..Happy for u gal.

@daisynelima3846 22 дня назад

it is well dear,, keep on moving

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Thank you so much

@Karisma187 21 день назад

Those immigrants that put the fear in u are ignorant, there is freedom of speech, I’m a Swedish citizen I know this

@vee20 21 день назад

One thing I’ve realized from everyone who advised you to stay quiet about your struggles is that many of them are likely dealing with even worse situations. And there are probably many more who didn’t say anything at all. It’s heartbreaking that so many choose to suffer in silence for the sake of staying low. I now see why depression is so common-it’s the weight of everything people keep hidden.

@PumlaNgwane 12 дней назад

I've recently come across your blog..you have a beautiful mind..I'm sorry you went through what you went through..but I guess we live and learn...much love..and i do think it's good that you are sharing your story.

@jentwale 22 дня назад

Actually the home office will deport you if your relationship breaks unless, you have child, your husband/wife dies suddenly or domestic violence is/was involved. It’s on the website. It’s good you chose your peace of mind and went back home.

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Hi Jentwale, thank you for this. I have read almost everything on that website. And I'm not arguing with that. The question here is, why are people afraid to share their stories and why do they instill fear in people who are courageous enough to share theirs? And this really has nothing to with my immigration status because I had clearly stated that it was sorted out.

@jentwale 22 дня назад

@@tessogamba People are often scared to share their stories because 1. Pride 2. Shame “zile za watu watasema?” 3. Ignorance and laziness, like someone told them if they share they’ll deported and they believed them without even doing their own research or fact check what they are being told. 4. To instil fear in you. And they will tell you not to share your story because, 1. They want you to live like they are always watching your back yet you have nothing to be ashamed of or be scared of. 2. They innocently do not know the rules, they only know what they were told or they don’t have your best interest at heart.

@achybellahpergo5459 21 день назад

@tessogamba because they still like to live under slavery and they would rather lick someone butt than standing on their selves home us always the best

@jodyturner9726 21 день назад

@@jentwale no she well be going home.

@jentwale 21 день назад

@@jodyturner9726 lol

@silentsound3364 21 день назад

I think it's the African mentality that women should suffer in silence like if you leave your toxic marriage or/and talk about it something bad will happen. So they were just projecting their fears and insecurities onto you and the only thing they could use to scare you was deportation or getting arrested, even if it was unfounded. But the fact that you are sharing your experience is good because people in similar situations can see that toxic relationships are not ok and that nothing bad will happen if you leave.

@georgeabade1296 22 дня назад

So the Home office can actually deport you if your husband reports you that your no longer married and your stay can be revoked. Reason being you are actually in the UK because you came to join your partner and because it’s broken there is no reason you should continue to have stay. Also just random people can report you too that’s why it’s good to be silent. This happens a lot to immigrants where thier spouse drops a bombshell on the and yes people do get deported. Lay low cause there are bad people out there who snitch on others. However if you have a child with him then that complicates things and makes it next to impossible to revoke your stay. Stay safe and watch your back but don’t be scared, just get on with your life and in the end all will be well

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Thank you!

@patiencemercy7840 22 дня назад

She just stated that she had already dealt with the legality of her immigration after the separation..(meaning she was legal to stay after her separation)...according to your comment, does that mean the home office can deport her if her ex partner or random person reported her even when her immigration is already legally sorted....could you please expound on that?

@Nicegirl-x9h 21 день назад

Tess please find something that really makes you happy find in your heart and I believe you will find it

@ruthtiffa3342 19 дней назад

From tuko talks am happy to be part of this family

@CeyonK 16 дней назад

You did the right thing..Sending Hugs, people should stop telling others how to express their pain …Another thing is that, when these Muzungus come to your African Countries, stop treating them like gods ..I have said my own

@Njitagwo_Shiro 22 дня назад

You are wise. I am always on your side. Ati “white people are sensitive”. This is absurd a very faulty belief.

@cherrypilah 20 дней назад

If your relationship/marriage ends the home office will give you 2 months to apply for another visa or you leave the country ,even your partner cannot deport you,but it is best to leave your partners house,coz he can report you .

@ebonyatoti 3 дня назад

Our UK crib! I loved watching you organizing and making it your own, but I'm soooo glad youre back home in Kenya... 😊❤

@achybellahpergo5459 21 день назад

You are strong many people are afraid to speak and yet they are afraid but I think blogging is not bad but Kenyans think they know alot but as long as you are clean there is no problem share what you feel your heart wants for pple are just there some to laugh some to encourage and some to tare you down so be you and in ll put God first always

@janek6843 15 дней назад

Why hide such a nasty story Tess, speak, speak out and speak out so loudly, it will help other people before they die in such abusive relationships.

@NyakweaGitonga 22 дня назад

Notification gang🎉🎉🎉

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Yay!! ❤️❤️

@sharonmusiimenta8616 21 день назад

Actually yr story will get u to get help ! And help for yr mental health. Those warning ‼️ are also living in denial it’s just they are ignorant about the law! I wish they knew hw many of us hav got help with our true stories .

@FrancisMwanga-m1h 21 день назад

What camera and microphone brands do you use

@TaibatOlajumokeMuhammed-gm4oo 21 день назад

Tessy i dont like the way you look these days. I could remember when you have just start. I saw you more happier than this. If there is anything making you overwhelmed or drained pls. Let it go and focus more on your happiness. World goes on, life decreases! From Nigeria

@eugeneokwiri8438 16 дней назад

The place looks lonely and dull

@elvis198 21 день назад

Ulirudi uku bana Kenya is best ungebaki tu

@dikolizaskk5847 22 дня назад

The reason you are not going back home its because you are scared, your peers will laugh at you....I know how the likes of you think

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

Are you living under a rock, I'm actually home as we speak.

@ncumisapatso3508 22 дня назад

Don't waste energy Tess...keep it for something worthwhile 😂❤😊

@nener5441 22 дня назад

Where to start with you? If she was ashamed she never would have posted about it! Going home was the last step, telling her story loud and clear meant she is not ashamed of what she went through. And she should not be! Thank you for sharing your story with us Tess!

@Njitagwo_Shiro 22 дня назад

You are the one who is ashamed and you are projecting to her. How sad? Heal yourself, please. Don't live in fear.

@vmat6684 22 дня назад

Hello. You, the morally bankrupt, can judge others,😂😂. You married your muzungu to get away from grinding poverty. Stop judging others according to your non-existent or rotten moral standards.

@dikolizaskk5847 22 дня назад

You never even tell what exactly your so called husband did to you, because you are lying you thought he is rich, for that matter we don't even know his side of story

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

The police have his side of the story. You wanna give them a ring?

@jakeem1906 22 дня назад

Geez y would u blame her ???victim shaming is disgusting go back to her videos she talks about it ...or just pass its her channel ..

@tessogamba 22 дня назад

This one is usually like that. Don't mind her.

@nener5441 22 дня назад

Why are you still here? What are you watching? Go and search for his side of the story for yourself. We’re not interested!

@vmat6684 22 дня назад

It's women like you who encourage patriachal abuse to carry on. She can share her story, and he is free to tell his story. People like you are part of the reason why women stay and get killed in relationships for fear of being accused of lying. She is brave, and I have been in the UK for several decades and worked with DV victims. It is encouraged to report abuse. She will not be deported for sharing her story. It's not a crime. The real criminals are those who accuse someone of lying because they judge them according to their own corrupt moral compass. Which of course reflects you and your own morality. Is see that you married a muzungu because he is rich. Not everyone is money hungry. It's just you.