I wasted my twenties. Here’s how NOT to. 

"you are still a beginner at being yourself in your 20s" this is an incredibly comforting thought

I’m near the end of my twenties and I think I have learnt so much, but also learnt that you don’t need to live a big life. I think social media and the celebrity culture we grew up with and is all still around us always made us feel like we had to be someone. Actually it’s okay to be small and quiet and make small ripples

It always feels so hard to explain to people that crochet, knitting, sewing, etc are just something I do for fun. Yeah I get something in the end and especially sewing can be a useful skill, but I don’t want to use it to make money. I’m way too slow and I really enjoy throwing a project in a corner for a few months until I’m in the mood to work on it again, which I wouldn’t be able to do if it’s a side hussel

I'm 27, I wasted all of my 20s on a stupid man and hating myself. Not anymore! I'm learning to be body neutral and do what I want to do.

I’m 29, I spent most of my twenties reconciling with what is out of my control, after a mental break down. I needed to accept that existing is enough and nothing is worth having if you don’t have a well body and mind.

Timestamps for myself (that might be useful to others): 5:04 Number one: Make a list of the what’s, but know that they are secretly why’s. 11:28 Number two: You would blow your ancestors mind. 15:07 Number three: Aim to close off your choices. 16:51 Number four: Find your atelic activity. 19:28 Number five: Develop a taste for chaos.

What you said, about there being no direct correlation between those that have travelled and being 'interesting,' really made me think. I actually realised that in my experience, those who have read a lot seem to have experienced (on a greater and more profound level) this incredibly 'expansion understanding of what it means to be human.' Almost as though, not only have they 'travelled' to the places the books have taken them, but actually connected with the stories of the people in them. Not just a box to be ticked. You really made me think a lot with this video, and whether I 'wasted' my 20s or not!

I loved the idea of your 20s being data collection. At 28 I feel like I’m only just starting to understand that! What a relief though!

Totally agree with the point about travelling. I used to work in a hostel and met so many travelers. I quickly realized that everyone travelled in a different way and that not everyone was here to experience the country, the culture, learn about the language or the history or even interact with the locals. Some people were here to take nice pictures, go shopping, go to clubs or internet cafes or to stay in their room. I also met a young man who took a gap year to travel around the world and admitted to me that after a couple countries he lost his excitement and curiosity and it just became a long list of places to go for him. I met people who showed off the stamps on their passports but were closed minded or uneducated about the world. It’s not about traveling, it’s about what you do with that experience.

Love the part about travel experiences because it's so ingrained into this dream of what the ideal 20's life could look like. And many people just aren't in a position where they can travel in their 20's. Another comforting thought is looking at someone like my grandmother who is so well travelled (she's been to almost every country).. but the first time she stepped on a plane, she was 42! She did most of her travels in her 40's through 60's. Everything cool doesn't need to happen in your 20's 😄 Thanks for the video Lena ❤

Mid-twenties right now and have been struggling with feeling behind in life, because I've spent the last 10 years dealing with mental illness. It's been an incredibly lonely experience and it's felt almost like I've messed up my life beyond repair. This video came to me at the perfect time 💜

Omg the travel thing is so true!!!!! My grandparents have never been on an airplane, but they know hardship, can name every single tree and flower in "their" forest, they've loved and lost and observed their surroundings. And they're the wisest, kindest people I know. So yeah I agree: You don't have to travel geographically to experience what it means to live a human life. Also love all your other points. Thank you for sharing. I will never understand why you don't have a gazillion followers.

Yeah, I'm 27 and my twenties were about dealing with complex trauma, trying to not turn into my parents and coping with a chronic illness. So I think I'll have more luck and freedom in my thirties. I did some awesome stuff too, but it was a lot of struggle 😅

back in the 50s my great aunt was mocked by her family because she was "too lazy" to do her laundry by hand and "wasted"all her money on a laundry machine... this was said by her mum who *hated* laundering and would most certainly have been a happier and healthier person if she had access to such machines in her youth... I find it fascinating how our context influences us to think, feel and behave in a way that doesn't seem to reflect our own personality and values

I do sometimes think about all the facets of my life that would just be absolutely mind-boggling to a medieval peasant. Like the size of my house alone would be astounding, but then you factor in that it's climate-controlled, and there are pipes that bring in clean drinking water, and a toilet! And there's a magic box that keeps my food cold and (bright!) lights without having to make a fire. I don't have to grow any of my own food if I don't want to. I have another magic box that washes my laundry for me. As a woman, I have a doctorate and a full-time job and am the primary breadwinner of my household, and there's a magic device in my uterus that keeps me from getting pregnant. Not to mention smallpox doesn't even exist anymore. It's just all a little bit amazing when you stop and think about it. Puts things in perspective.

This quote is perfect (and made me laugh :p): "When it comes to depth I think that you can learn as much about humanity behind a customer service desk as you can on a two-week photogenic hiking trip with a bunch of trustfund kids."

I’m almost 28 and I’ve spent the last 4 years terrified of making any decision. I was always into travelling, taking risks, having fun and then I got comfortable. I guess I can partly blame this social pressure I feel that I should have my life together by now. Even my family questioned why I’ve not settled. But you know what? I booked a solo trip to Thailand (with no set plan for return) and I leave in just a few weeks. Here’s to living simply! I’m excited to do just that.

This is the bedtime story everyone in their 20s needs to be read

Just turned 25, having a bit of a quarter life crisis. This video was soooo needed. Thank u 🌹

“Some things are worth doing for themselves alone, despite offering no payoffs in terms of productivity or profit”

I'm halfway through my 40s and sometimes think I'm reliving my 20s now (finally figuring out who I am and what I want,,,and what I DON'T want)

As a 27 year old I was scared to click on this, but so glad I did! What an insightful, humbling and uplifting video!

I loved the bit about ancestors! There are so many things I take for granted and it's nice to have a reminder of how wonderful things are, relative to how it was for my family only a generation or two back. Thanks for the perspective shift, Leena! Lovely as always.

I really needed to hear this. I’m about to turn 20 and I’m horrified. I definitely wasted my teenage years but I always blamed it on my poor mental health and the fact that teenagers in general are pretty limited in what they can do due to school, parents, being underage etc.. I‘m horrified I’ll fall into the same trap of doing nothing with my life (or thinking that I’ve done nothing) for years and then blaming it on some outside factors

I'm halfway through my 20s and fear of choosing the wrong path, making the wrong decision has put me in a state of stasis. I'm actively ignoring all decision making basically lol. And obviously the pandemic messed everyone up. For me, the pandemic enabled that stasis because it felt like being cooped up and delaying things was the norm and I think I got too comfortable in that bubble. And now that everyone is picking up speed, that list of things you talked about, things I feel like I HAVE to do in my 20s, absolutely haunts me because I can't let go of the feeling that everyone else just goes down their list getting things done, crossing things off and I'm just... existing? And I know it's not a competition and everyone moves at their own speed and all that but oh boy does it feel like being left behind sometimes. Anyway, this video was very comforting, kind of felt like you put one hand on my shoulder and went "calm down buddy." So, thank you!

I'm halfway through my twenties, and I'm questionning myself a lot about these kind of things, so thank you for your video ! It's really reassuring ! What I want to do with the rest of my twenties is not to "play safe" so much, take risks, take opportunities I never thought I'd take, and get out of my comfort zone ! (and be a bit more comfortable with myself, body and mind, if possible). Next year, I'm doing something that I really want but scares the shit out of me : I'm moving to Canada for a year ! Not only am I moving country, but I am moving to an entire different continent than my own, and I am doing it alone (well, not really, I'm taking my cat :p )

I graduated with an animation degree that I worked for thirteen years for. I now work at a bank warehouse and I actually like having a 9 to 5. Never would have guessed that for me.

I'm 28 now, and I've been experiencing some strange retroactive FOMO lately about how I feel like I actually didn't make enough "wrong" choices and therefore missed out on a lot of experiences. Number three is making me think about the things that I /was/ able to do and the other things that I /will/ be able to do because of those initial choices. It reminds me of this other thing I'm trying to do, which is to think of my insecurities as "features, not bugs," as they are not categorically, objectively wrong or damaging; they are just things about me.

So, I didn't start the video yet, but just by the title: You did not waste your twenties!! Out of the people I don't personally know, you are probably the one I like and look up to most. Whatever it took you to get there has it's place in your life. You are reflected, empathetic , creative - in short awesome. But you probably go into that within the video as you don't strike as a particularly self criticising person (at least I hope so). But I just had to get that out there. Thank you for being you ^^

‘Develop a taste for chaos’ my favourite part of the video hehe One thing that has stressed me for basically all of my twenties so far is that is has been affected by covid. I haven’t been able to do the things you’re ‘supposed’ to do and I don’t think I, as well as many other people, have fully recovered from it. It seems like we’re all supposed to bounce back and act like it never happened that we had no opportunities for two years, weren’t able to go to travel or go to events, and might have had mental health problems resulting from it. It feels like the socially acceptable ‘figuring things out’ part of my twenties has been spent and now I’m supposed to have an impressive career and lots of savings to settle down. But really the whole first arc of my twenties has been put into reverse before falling into a ditch 😂

I love this video. I beg to differ on the travel point though: traveling itself has been EXTREMELY beneficial for my self-growth, not merely because it's hard, but because it physically removes us from familiar surroundings. This means we can't rely on old thought patterns, habits, or our pre-existing identities. It's like a forest fire that clear the brush. We get to re-orient ourselves in a new place as a new person. And when we realize we're different in different places, it teaches us a lot: how multi-dimensional we all are, how much of our "identity" is an illusion. It's hard to truly experience this all if we remain in the same context. That said, I think many people travel while taking their "home context" with them... like a group of uni students who incessantly hang out with each other, instead of venturing out to explore a new culture on their own. Or someone who is experiencing a vacation through the eyes of the their Instagram, perhaps seeking validation from people they know back home. We all do this to some degree. Long comment short, travel is an amazing self-growth tool if you open yourself up to questioning everything you know about yourself and the world. This is easier when you travel alone. :)

Thank you for saying that well-traveled people usually aren't that interesting! So many people rely entirely on travels to define their personality and aren't necessarily better humans (for example people who would not shut up about their need to travel during a pandemic)

oh my god. you have described my MIL to a T. she travels endlessly, and yet fails to grasp so many of the idiosyncrasies and cultural things that make humanity. Its all about the pictures she takes, which honestly reminds me of Hakim Bey's essay on tourism and how its more like war, than anything good. it really struck me at 15, and as I havent been able to escape airbnbs taking over my ever becoming touris town - making where i live unaffordable an act of financial warfare - as they take over more and more homes in my area. anyway i digress, thanks for putting this together in my mind.

Leena, you have a gift of saying deep stuff in a lighthearted and comforting way, while being funny at the same time. This helped me get out of a shitty mood, thanks. (The accurate summary ‘gross’ made me lol)

I noticed that my enjoyment of travel experiences increased significantly when i stopped taking photos of everything, constantly updating (read: worrying about forgetting about updating) instagram and facebook, and instead just existed in the moment, enjoyed the scenery and the culture and the food, and didn't feel the need to tell anyone about it. I got rid of the performative side of travelling. Sure sometimes I still take photos, but now it's because I'm into photography and I like the composition or the unusual subject, not because I feel the need to brag online about where I went. It's really helped. Remember: we are each our own person, we don't need to compete with anyone over our own lives. As long as we're content, that's enough. No need to prove it to anyone else.

The part about becoming desynchronized with everyone else around me really resonated with me. I’ve recently been reading another book, “The Defining Decade,” which places a lot of emphasis on your 20s as a very important period of your life that will have ramifications for the rest of your lifetime. Because of it, I’ve felt a lot of personal pressure to “become the person I want to be” for my whole life, but I feel like I’ve been more selfish recently because of it, and that intense focus on self may be part of it. Perhaps I need to embrace the chaos of it all more. I also really appreciate the adelic activity section. I’ve had feelings recently of needing to always spend my time on sometime productive that will get me where I want to be or otherwise grow my skillset in some way, but I feel like that mindset has killed the fun of one of my favorite leisure activities, video games. Thank you for the reminder that not every waking moment needs to be spent productively, and that leisure time is valuable in its own right. Great work as always Leena!

I’m 30 now and I feel like I didn’t waste my twenties, but I definitely did too much. I have traveled to almost 20 countries so far, I’m in my last year of my PhD program, went through my parents’ divorce, ended an 8 year relationship and moved a few times all in my 20s. I’m so glad the pandemic forced me to slow down! I don’t feel the need to travel as much, to work as hard, etc. I’m done being extraordinary and I just want to enjoy the rest of my life at a slow pace.

Thank you for this honest and insightful video! I am turning 27 next month. I started out my 20's trying to become the person I thought I should be or someone who other people would be impressed by (I was a 'gifted' child growing up and the high expectations were still at work!). I thought I was going to become a doctor or physician assistant and live in a big city and basically make my family proud. After college I was working a job I hated as a nursing assistant and realized I didn't even want to be in healthcare anymore. I had $37k in student loan debt and trying to be someone else was getting exhausting. I reached a crossroads where I could have done essentially nothing and continued to stay in that job and hate my life and hate myself or I could take risks, get out of my comfort zone, and leave behind the expectations and opinions of others. This lead me on a journey of healing& authenticity and letting go of everything that wasn't me & rediscovering what was me (like how I was as a child that got lost in adolescence). Now I am almost an entirely different person from who I was just 5 years ago. I have new identities and habits that I could never maintain before, I do shit that scares me regularly, I'm clear on my values, I've gotten therapy and healed past hurt & trauma, and most importantly I love myself and my life. Sooo much can change in your 20's because our brains are primed for change (extra neuroplasticity in your 20s!) depending on our environment and experiences. My advice for others is to do things (doing nothing is worse than making a choice, even if it's the 'wrong' choice at least you learned it's not for you), make peace with change (it's the only constant thing in life), and get clear on who you are and what you value. I think moving towards your authentic self (not who society or your family or peers think you should be) is the biggest undertaking one takes in their life and the sooner you do it, the better off you'll be going forward because you won't wake up one day in your 30's or 40's or 50's realizing that you've built a life that you didn't even want for yourself.

Turning 30 in a few months I was kind of apprehensive about this one. These perspectives are so soothing, though, as ever. The What's to Why's I find genius.

It amazes me almost every time how you are able to say what I think without me being able to articulate it. Cheers from a 32 year old human. One small addition I might add.... I see some comments here about going out of your comfort zone and 'becoming who you want to be' and all that... I struggled with that stuff a lot during my twenties and I've come to find that doing these (ahum) 'character building' jobs like you mentioned helped me in becoming a person that I like way more than any idea I'd previously had of what kind of person i would want to be. In a way, this becoming is happening while you're at it. It was an enormous relieve to realize that I didn't need to plan or do anything specific to become a certain someone (and writing it this way it even reads as silly). At that time I didn't even realize I already was a someone. During those times there were a LOT of uncomfortable zones I went into without deliberately intending to do so. And as much as that 'leaving your comfort zone' phrase has its value, I sometimes feel that there is too much of an emphasis on that, that it also made me push myself to do stuff that weren't beneficial for my mental health. There are times for comfort zones as well: to polish and refine a skill, to get rooted in a place and really get to know the people your surrounded by, to have habits like say, folding your socks, that make you appreciate the things you have (the socks might not work for everyone but it does for me). anyhow... somehow a comment that was intended to be one sentence long turned into this... Thanks Leena, this video, like your other ones, are a great way to "waste" my time.

This video gave me the very profound realisation that I don’t need to *know* what my opinions are at the age of fifteen. I’ve been stressing over that for at least three years, so this is kind of freeing. Wow. Holy shit.

I feel like there are some things that looking back at your ancestors experiences can’t improve, it may even do the opposite. The most obvious example is housing costs, or the average wage against the inflation rate. Sometimes you need to give yourself grace that while yes, a lot of things are easier now than they were for our predecessors, you are facing new challenges that they would not be equipped to deal with. We should be allowed to acknowledge that our twenties may not live up to the expectations of older generations in some aspects, whilst understanding that we have greater opportunity in others. That’s why I think a lot of older people now find it a hard concept to grasp that people in their twenties now don’t want to buy a house and blame it on us buying avocado toast. It’s because when they were in their twenties it was a common “character building” struggle to save with a partner for a house, whereas now it is an insurmountable financial obligation for the majority. Our twenties are both individually unique but generationally unique in terms of advancements as well as their consequences.

I'm in the end of my twenties (29 in August) and finally coming to peace with all the time I "waste" in my twenties (thanks to you) and choosing to focus all the shit tones of things I did.

I’m only 7 minutes in and I’ve got a lump in my throat because what you’ve said so far has been wholly freeing. I’m 22 and I feel immense pressure (from both myself and others) to achieve and experience as much as possible, so I can look back on this decade when I’m 30 and think “I slayed this.” I have a literal “20s Bucket List” on my phone, which consists of mainly the things you mentioned… get a degree, travel, become fluent in another language, become successful in a career, save £10,000… When I look at it, instead of feeling excitement and curiosity I just feel fear because I’m nowhere near completing that list. But you’re right… here I am focusing on achieving again, on ticking off things so I can be where I want to be, as if having completed those goals is more important than actually experiencing them. Maybe being present in whatever I’m doing (even if that’s just staring at the clouds) is more valuable than rushing through my day to day to chase ticking off all those things society deems ‘worthwhile’.

the part about travels, yes!! i've always felt so bad about not being able to travel at all in the beginning of my twenties (i'm approaching my mid-twenties aaah) while everyone i went to school with is travelling around the world (yeah, even during covid... ugh, while i had to come back to live with my parents in an abusive household), but i always remind myself that they come from rich families and have so much money and stress-free lives while i just... don't? i'm slowly trying to unlearn this feeling of jealousy that i developped (so weird, i never used to be a jealous person but ever since covid hit i keep experiencing it more and more), and i'm looking forward to doing these things as well, but maybe in my thirties! who knows! as someone who's deeply depressed and didn't think i'd live in my twenties, these kind of videos help so much, they bring me such comfort that things will get better and that we'll get to experience cool things in the future 🥺💞

Hi! As someone who has had a life with a lot of travel/moving and change I 100% agree with your thoughts on the 20s Wanderlust trend. What annoys me most is when people assume that living somewhere is the equivalent to a holiday: like its all adventure and fun and free spirited. Because this ignores the honest experience of those of us who have moved about that moving around is also hard, and really really lonely and sad too. I feel like it comes from a place of longing or desire in others, so I never want to be dismissive of their views, but for me moving about (especially as a kid- before it was my own decision) has about a 50% positive to negative impact on my life. I used to be jealous of others who lived in one place their whole lives, and as an adult have had to come to terms with the fact that my concept of 'home' is actually different from others because of this inconsistency. I have grown to embrace my hippie upbringing, and who I am because of it but it does bother me when people act as if its real life instagram. I think we should be teaching people that there are many roads to self discovery and one of them is to travel, but by no means the only path.

Loved your idea of viewing one's 20s as a data collecting activity! Honestly, it takes off the pressure of answering the question "what do you want to do with your life" and instead, replaces it with curiosity to learn about yourself and the world. I'll be turning 22 this year and I won't lie, I already feel a bit panicked about being 2 years into this "most important decade of my life" 😅 Anyways, thanks so much for this video, Leena! I'll surely be thinking over and adopting some of these ideas.

Thanks for the reminder that making decisions doesn't just cut off opportunities, but also opens more up. I'm half way through my twenties and have made some fairly large decisions and it's nice to be reminded that there are upsides to making decisions. Also my favorite reminder about our ancestors is if you use cinnamon causally, your ancestors would be amazed and proud!

This was just the video I need at the right time 😭❤️ I am having one of the worst days of my twenties. Thank you for lifting my spirits Leena.

I honestly look up to you so much, I often wish I had a big sister (no shade to my big brother who is great) and your videos successfully fill that void for me. I can just watch, nod along, take notes and fill like I got 20s in the bag for 20 minutes haha Thank you

I’m 26 and just finishing my degree in English and French …at Aberystwyth! When I was 21 and half way through my first degree, I dropped out because of my mental health, then a few months later upon deciding that I wanted to pursue my education despite feeling like a complete failure, I came across one of your videos about Aber - next thing I know I’m there embarking on my BA! Again! It’s been a bumpy, unorthodox path for most of my twenties, especially because I have found there to be this stigma of guilt and almost self-indulgence in trying to pursue an education for this long…but I am trying to live without regret. I also know that no matter how hard and trying it gets for me academically, I know it’s exactly what I want to be doing and so exactly what I should be doing, so I’m trying to not feel bad that it has taken me longer than most to finish this chapter of my life. For the longest time I have fallen victim to the dreaded ‘societal expectations’ that come with being a twenty something, but I have been so far off the ‘normal trajectory’ for so long now, my desire to go back to that has basically vanished now that I know I can do things differently, get what I want and still be happy all on my own terms and in my own time. The first half of my twenties showed me that life doesn’t have to be this linear sequence of events, and what a gift it is to be freed from that expectation :) Thank you for the video Leena x

This is lovely and comforting 😊

I am 26, just a few months from 27 and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I want to spend the rest of my 20s so this video has really made me reflect, thank you! Looking back I am most happy that I quit an awful job ( however wish I quit sooner) and then volunteered abroad, living with a local family and helping to support the community. I gained so much life experience, a new perspective on life and developed so much gratitude. I came back a different person and since then I have put what I’ve learned into practice. I realised that integrating and supporting my local community is so important. I agree that your 20s is about exploring, learning and developing. 💜

Your twenties is also just the first decade of your life that you can more or less comprehend beforehand. Like turning 10 also felt like a big deal but at that time I really couldn't comprehended all of the life stages I would go through before I turned 20. But when you turn 20 you probably have at least an idea of the carreer path you're taking and the responsibilities you'll hold in the next 10 years etc

Very timely for me as I’m 20 on Saturday!

Literally just finished Four Thousand Weeks this week on your recommendation and I think it might actually be, uh, life-changing? Even since I started reading it, the lessons I learnt from it, or rather, wie questions I learnt to ask myself while reading it, have been immensely helpful in so many situations. So thank you, thank you, thank you for recommending it, Leena 🙏🙏🙏

Leena, your 20s tool kit series is saving my life and bringing me peace one day at a time! I love this. I'm 22 and have had a very turbulent start of my 20s, being sick for almost one year and leaving a toxic relationship that left me in pieces. Since then, I evolved so much and healed so much by being mindful and learning more about myself through trial and error, but I still can't help feeling like I'm wasting my potential from time to time. These little reminders are so amazing. Thank you so much.

i turned 22 just last month and im trying to remind myself that i have a lot more time to do things and enjoy life than society tells us a lot of the time. i think if i had goals to accomplish by the end of my twenties they'd be something like: read lots, go to more concerts, have a full-time job that i enjoy, keep working to improve my mental and physical health, and to take the opportunities that i can to explore and see/experience new things. it'd be nice if i could also go on a vacation for the first time, even if it was just staying 30 minutes away for a few days. and it'd be cool if i found s along term romantic partner and have a really nice relationship with them, ideally continuing into my 30s. it's just hard doing stuff when you're broke as fuck. i want to be a teacher and i have no idea how im going to pay for the rest of my schooling. wish i was someone with the privilege of just being able to at least get my education without ending in life-altering debt :(

i am such a collector of “positive experiences” and have had so much anxiety from pressuring myself now that i’m graduated and home to have the same kinds and amount of “experiences”. and it’s been killing me. this video along w redefining happiness has helped me shift my perspective & appreciate the stage of life i am in. thank you 💛

26 and in the midst of completely rerouting my life trajectory at the moment, so this video was incredibly helpful and comforting! ❤️

Interesting video so far! I'm a bit stressed at how I'm spending my time. Partly because I'm disabled, which means so much of my time is needed for recovering from flares and stuff. And i feel like my energy and time should/could be prioritised different. sometimes i have time, but not the energy, to do meaningful stuff, and that hurts.

im 29 and love this! What I am glad I did in my 20s is all the learning I have done about myself and how the world works. I tried the career I always wanted but walked away when I realised it wasnt making me happy and I was just doing what looked good on paper. Proud of myself for all of it. happiness right now is important, not a thought that you will be happy when you retire..because retirement isnt promised. It isnt some reward for slaving away your whole life. If you do live to be that age, you probably wont be able to enjoy it like you think you will.

I'm still trying to come to terms with 'losing' two years of my 20s ... I feel such a disconnect to my age and between the pandemic, living in London and a new cost of living crisis I'm definitely feeling incredibly unsuccessful, even though I feel like I set the bar pretty low already just being a single millennial in London. But I really appreciated the part in this video where we compared to our ancestors - I'm too used to comparing my life to the opportunities available to my parents (ie house prices) and think the whole encyclopedia comparison will do a lot more to humble me and cheer me up - thank you so much for that! Need to remember and be grateful for the ways we have it better.

Thank you so much for this series. I’m 23 and only just beginning to live (as an adult and in general). I spent my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood very ill and very isolated from the world. I didn’t think I would live to be 23, and now I am and… and it’s terrifying! One of my biggest fears is the feeling that I’ve already “wasted” a third of my 20s being stuck in hospital and doing literally nothing except trying to survive. It feels like I didn’t really start being 20 until 6 months ago. Your Twenties Toolkit videos help me both to gain a sense of direction and to step back and go “hey, I’m still only 23”. I’ve come to the realization that maybe “beginning” my 20’s with 3 extra years of experience isn’t the worst thing after all! Thank you Leena for being the internet Auntie we all needed!

*sick with covid and watches a movie where a character dies of a contagious illness* this is fine *manuscript is burned* actual horror film Lol'ed, love you Leena

Lena, as a girl in her mid twenties, your videos are so important to me. I feel like there's so much pressure to 'live your young years' in a certain way and I worry about how I'm not doing it 'right'. After watching this I genuinely feel like I can breathe again. The knowledge you shared has made me feel readier than ever to embrace the chaos that is life 💖 thank you x

When I was getting ready to graduate high school, my 5 year plan for myself was just to live in a decent apartment with some cats and plants and someone I love. Now I'm 24 and living in a decent apartment with LOTS of plants and cats and my best friend. I just hope for the rest of my twenties that I get to get out and experience more of the world and learn to dream a little bigger. I set a very achievable goal for myself (although a lot of people don't have what I do, and I'm immensely grateful for it) and I'm not sure where to go from here. I've been thinking about trying to rent or buy a house because you're right, being isolated in an apartment sucks in its own special way. But I don't make enough money to be able to rent a house even with my roommate, let alone buying one. I think I have to start getting serious about my career and make a bit more money so I can have more flexibility and freedom in the future. Which runs completely counter to the idea of prioritizing my mental health and making sure I enjoy my twenties! 😅

I really feel the travel thing after going on a trip with a friend recently. We decided to have a history day where we went to museums, famous palaces, and wore traditional clothing. It basically turned into a photo shoot of the pretty traditional dresses we were wearing which is fine but everytime we entered a museum or a sacred space, she read none of the display plaques and was glued to her phone🙄 I realized travel alone does not make you a more worldly person, that comes from taking the time to try to understand the people and history of someone with an entirely different background to you. Amazing experience for me but I can’t say the same for her.

Thank you so much, I’m 25 and I was feeling so lost and being in my mid twenties I thought I’d have everything figured out. I changed career paths and I’m happy with it but relationships and health have been so hard I feel like I’m in the middle of a desert. This video was really inspiring and honestly feels like a godsend.

As someone who is turning 29 this year, I love this video so much. Thanks Leena 💛

I'm 25 and I honestly feel like I've wasted the past five years and the pandemonium didn't help. But you reminded me that I actually have done and experienced quite a few cool things in that time as well. And, on top of that, your life doesn't have to end in your 20s. There's plenty more to live and experience as you get older and it's never too late to do certain things.

I'm so happy to be reaching the end of my twenties. The first part of my adult life I was MISERABLE! Now I'm financially independent, improving my mental health, doing things I enjoy, I'm more self assured ... Am I there yet? Of course not! How can I be? I'm pretty sure at 90 I will still be be striving to better myself, in fact I'm counting on it

I'm nearing the end of my 20s and I really appreciate all the difficult things I decided to do, even if it meant huge embarrassment, discomfort, long term financial issues & having little to no support. I got the best stories and thrills from it!! I'd tell my younger self to trust my intuition to seek discomfort, it brings many treasures to the soul ❤️ Great video Leena

Thank you so much for this video. I'm 22 and life, especially during covid, just flew by. I've just moved to the biggest city in my country (berlin) right before covid and had a lot of time to think about all these concepts of life and community. i think people should not worry so much about what their actions may or may not bring in the future, but rather live in the moment.

Great video! As a late twenties person who is NOT where I used to imagine I would be, this was very reassuring. -On thinking about how your ancestors would view your life - SO TRUE - I definitely have said this to myself before, particularly as a women I think the fact that I have a job that is fairly enjoyable and I can live alone and be fully independent would stun previous generations -On travel - at the risk of being a bit insufferable - I lived abroad for a year in my 20s and it has slightly ruined normal holidays for me? I had such an amazing experience because I had spent years learning the language and culture before I went, and I was able to fully immerse myself and befriend local people and experience a very different way of living. As a naturally shy and introverted person it was hard but very worthwhile and it has also made me very aware that in my typical holiday, a few days in a european city, going round museums, eating local food, and not getting to know anyone new, I am barely scratching the surface of those places and cultures. -I think culturally and from romantic movies and things I had really internalised this idea that I would get married at 27 years old and then I would be like...done? Like I would get married and be this perfect finished product adult, with no problems and no...life? Is this based on all the books I've read where people get married and then the book just ends? Possibly. Anyway, now that I have a variety of friends in their late 20s and early 30s, some of whom are married, some of whom aren't, it is very clear that people just keep being people, having challenges to deal with, living their lives. I wouldn't say that single friends are significantly more or less happy than long-term coupled up or married friends in most cases, and I would certainly rate happily single over unhappily sticking with a relationship! -On hobbies - throughout my teens I was not at all into sports or moving in any way and in my twenties I discovered aerial dance and now I have this amazing passion and creative outlet that I would never have predicted! Is there any real 'purpose' to being able to fly through the air or hang upside down from my feet like a bat? Of course not! Does it bring me huge amounts of joy? YES!

I'm currently 23 and while it sure feels like I'm wasting time a lot, I really enjoy the way things are and I'm glad I tried a lot of things Even if I'm really bad at most of them.

Cool video. Interesting to learn the exact number of weeks in my 20s. I'm turning 25 in a couple of weeks, aah. Anyone else get anxious and/or depressed feelings around their birthday? Societal expectations are hard to let go of, but internalised expectations or values you hold are hard when you're not fully in alignment or where you want to be. Trying to be self-compassionate.

As a 22 year old about to give my twenties to a PhD program, I definitely am taking the '20s as data collection' quite literally. But I really appreciated this video! I've had so many people tell me I NEED to travel before I start my PhD, but with finances and covid it isn't in the cards. But I know that pursuing my education will also have me grow as a person, even if I don't get to see another continent before I go.

I'm almost 21. I think my goals for my twenties to be more myself, treat myself kinder, heal, becoming financially independent and leave the house which was sadly not the source of good memories and is of trauma. I want a cozy life. Enough money for what I want to buy and a nice space to call my own. Of course, I want a job too I can settle into nicely.

I'm just a month away from turning 20, and much of what you said took a lot of pressure out of me and made me excited to start collecting data haha thank you!!

this video was so helpful- I almost didn't watch it because I was afraid that you would be saying we need to do so much more in our twenties and further confirm that I am wasting my twenties- despite only being 22. but your video gave me a much more positive outlook on how I can spend the rest of my twenties

I'm 18 and this helps so much! I came across this randomly and I love learning new perspectives! Thanks for making this video!

Currently drowning in the data and failing to analyse it… unlike science I guess there’s not a magical moment when you see statistical significance…

Yes agree, Little Women is *not* a comfort film haha

im 19 and entering my twenties soon. thank you for your wisdom and your humor, i love you leena

“Curiosity should be a financial priority”

Being a third culture kid I feel like I knew these things but to have it put into words and be reassured that whatever I do I'm on the right path for myself has been amazing. This video helped with my catastrophizing and ruminating today...and I want to read that book...cheers to 21 this august

Great video Leena!! At 23, I do feel like the first few years of my 20s have been stripped beneath me (the 21st birthday bash was organised and ready for March 21st 2020 but was cancelled on the announcement of the pandemic lockdown)... but I'm still trying to use it as the goal-setting "what do I want to get out of my life and why do I want that". COVID and looking into my family history for sure has made me grateful of the small things in life and to genuinely consider why I want to travel and the purposes behind it. I feel privileged to be completely daunted by "potential" and wanting to do as many things as possible... this video for sure made me think about what it is to be in your 20s...

my goals for my twenties (which are a while away, i’m 16: • perform in a shakespeare comedy (why? because i have a heavy emotional connection to shakespeare and theatre) • pass my driving test (why? to gain further independence and be able to visit the events and museums i wish to) • get a PhD in Classics (why? to be able to teach classics and eventually become a professor)

That adaptation of Midsummer Night's Dream is one of my favorite films!

This is so much more positive than other similarly themed videos. Thank you. 😊🥰

leena you never fail to comfort me, thank you for your compassion

This video was incredibly comforting. Thank you Leena

this is one of the most uplifting videos I have ever watched, thank you

Thank you so much Leena, your thoughts are always incredibly refreshing

I am 24. I need to start working. I also am studying right now and I want to use the opportunity to learn as much as I want and go to concerts, to plays and other stuff you can do as a student. To summarise, please give me more than 521 weeks so I can balance my need to pile up knowledge and experience

I’m 26 and I feel like I’ve picked up and put down many lives. The amount of change I’ve experienced between 18-26 in terms of career building/ changing, travel, EXPERIENCING HISTORIC EVENTS, etc. has been crazy. I feel like my brain finished “cooking” at 24 and my perspectives on things have evolved too. “Embracing the chaos” and “learning about your self is time well spent” is the best advice I could give someone at the beginning of the 20’s journey. I can’t wait to see where my late 20’s to 30’s take me :)

the last part on developing a taste for chaos was really clarifying for me thank you

This video played automatically and I couldn't stop watching! So grateful. Love this!

I'm 21 now and I thought this was gonna give me an existential crisis but I NEEDED to know and it did a bit of that but more so reassured and comforted me so thank you!