If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do? - The Cinema Snob 

People like that would be screwed if they couldn't twist everything to suit their needs.

+Master Markus I am German, so... you got the Problem, deal with God XD

+Meme-Core comparing population with religious individuals says otherwise. I believe European countries take that claim.

+Meme-Core Nah, nah, you got it slightly wrong there. America is the first Shrekular country. It got Shreked after WW1, and it's never been the same since.

+Master Markus Indonesia is the country with the most Muslims in the world (and also was when this movie was made). I bet this dipshit didn't know that.

bro the eldest in your family was conceived there.

everytime I went to the old drive in with a girl after I could drive invovled no movie watching if you know what I mean. If the vans a rockin. Sorry kid estis is dead on about drive in sex.

Thats what you did not everyone. How he put it was all drive ins are just for that. A campground, or any dark or area out of the way can be used for sex if you wanted to with your partner. His entire thing was in absolutes. Straight up lies to scare folks into oversheltering their children which scarily enough is what makes up for a LOT of serial killers/ self hurt.

What? You don't want to be a martyr?

I would love to force those people to watch Helluva Boss, clockwork orange style. They would squirm soooooo much!

​@@mrlaz9011pretty sure all these people are dead

Has the same energy of Martin Ssempa's 'this is a parental guidance moment' 😂

This movie has a level of blood that would make Herschell Gordon Lewis blush.

"How dare she put on make-up, and go out on Saturday night? Judyyyy, you will be the death of me" 😂😂😂

Shannihilator It’s no Emby Mellay :p

um....Kept, step, steel, steele, peel, peels, leek, steep, keel, leper, set, sets, etc. there's a tonne of words you could make with that.

@@BrienMalone between you and Brad mentioning The Sidehackers, I'm so damn happy

Shannihilator It's Estus Pirkle, not Estes Perkel

Kwijybo is a more convincing Scrabble hand.

I love how the "communist" delivers the line like a kid who got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

Simon Adams Your parents took you Estes Perkel. We did you a favor.

Nice BW Megatron impression. Yeees.

Yee

@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Pirkle SMASH!

our glorious leader Fidel will bring all the candy you want

+TheAirBear2000 Or any of Ren and Stimpy.

+DinosaurFan88 Show him some anime.

show him the new Castlevania Anime.. specifically that one scene where the demon visits that head church priest.

Or the scene in Avatar when Aang finds Gyatso's body

The Church in Castlevania was likely Catholic or some version of Eastern Orthodoxy. To an Evangelical like Pirkle that's just different flavors of damn, dirty, heretic anyway. He'd probably like the overall carnage of the entrails hanging along with the Priest murder and baby eating of the anime. He'd check out at the swearing and (possibly) the goat fucking.

yeah because he actually cares about people, and forgives people and not totalrian.

"Jesus wept" "And Scorpio was rended and torn asunder by the ones called Cenobites; begat by the Box of Puzzle".

Hellraiser reference.

"... for there were no more worlds to con-" Oh, sorry, that was Alexander the Great.

"The Bird of Hermes is my name; eating my wings to make me tame." jk the bible wishes it had lines as epic as Greek mythology.

+Doug Glassman *Throws a fiesta while lifting the Little Mexican Girl in the air*

I nearly confused it for a fetish film. "Will you come? Will you come? Will you come?"

+mariokarter13 Maybe he wanted to know if we enjoy his compilation of children getting murdered, all the religious speech was only a disguise.

Cara Nostálgico Well, religious people DO like to talk about death a lot... some of them even get off on the idea of other people suffering eternal torment... oh god this is a fetish film.

+mariokarter13 Well there's always the extremists, that guy on the movie surely seems to be one of those people... OoO

And free porn too

It's not totalitarian if it's a Christian regime. Christians never abuse their power.

Communist regime it is. Hail Castro!

No no no, sex ed, miniskirts, cartoons, films, and dancing is what will draw them commies over here, like blood in the water to a shark (i think) and MAKE EM INVADE becasue you know, communists do that only when a nation shows it is full of sin *rolls eyes*

@UlvenAspiration Preach on comrade! (Hell March intensifies)

Best title for barnyard porn ever.

+mostmelon Wait, it isn't one?

+mostmelon It's not? Uhm i mean... no, of course it's not!

He is the guy who reviewed "Batpussy". Anything is possible.

No way, this title sounds wrong no matter the context. It's about a woman with war and bestiality fetishes being scolded by her human vanilla boyfriend.

Wait, there are churches with Wednesday night meetings? How did you survive?

Wednesday night church is not unusual where I'm from at all.

@@bluecoin3771we have Wednesday night church at every church around here. I remember when I was young being made to go to them a lot.

They have a bible-thumping lunatic in front of them ranting about the atrocities of the commies. 😂 and if you left during the service, Estus would immediately condemn you: "This sinner here, ladies and gentleman, is turning their back on our Lord".

Well i do imagine republican radicals do jizz to this stuff. so yknow.

Seems a lot like Would You Kindly.

He looks like a cult leader

Will you come? _Will you come?_ _W i l l y o u c o m e ?_

It's like if the end of "The Tree of Life" was guest directed by Harold Cronk, only to get a fast edit by Rob Zombie.

Yeah it's crazy the people who are against abortion are the same people who are against sex education in school.

i feel ya..s'like a friend of mine said "Yeah..don't tell em about it..that'll keep the ones that haven't from figuring out how to fuck...just act like it doesn't exist..yeah..bc we all know teens aren't horny.. and ingenious

Things have gotten a lot worse in some places now 😕

My school's Sex Ed was: "Abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed form of birth control, but if you're going to do it, wrap it up damn it!" Then they gave us all our options.

Either their is none at all or its the slideshow or showing of stds amd basically saying abstinence but if so in the future use barrier among ither things. Nothing wrong with that period. It wasnt like this film then and it is not now. Collegiate sex ed obviously is more detailed but most of it is about the biology and how we were formed from copulation to baby. That alone scared many lol. I didnt get ed til high school which is literally when people experiment independent of if they even got sex ed. So It is very important. Its optional anyway. >>

No, Glenn Beck is cool. I more or less say, Pat Robertson Jr. EDIT: DAMN NAME CONFUSIN

+Rusty Ralston I get more of a Pat Robertson vibe

Hey you gotta admit hardcore kid, it's still better than fireproof!

+Headbanger142 This movie was Glenn Beck's entire education

Glen Beck at least walked out of God's Not Dead saying it was horrible. I think a different example would be better.

+Sam Huddy I'd watch that. Hell, I'd _make_ that.

+Master Markus Do a kickstarter. I would fund your project.

That sounds waaaayyyy better

or about bestiality lol

+edddddization Was he trying for a Russian accent? Cuban? We will never know

+gantzisballs I think he was trying a RU-vid Poop Dr. Robotnik impersonation...

Robbie Norris NAOOO! PINGAS!

"Ah! Christian Faith is so much more enjoyable, when it's based on the fear and paranoia of other believers..."

When did that happen?

The fact that he sounds so casual when he says yes to killing that kid’s parents makes the scene more hilarious.

That's a bad Megatron impression. Yeeessss

Yayy!!!

got removed unfortunately

@@kaelibw34 to bad

+demilung Ukraine was the bible belt of the Soviet Union.

Now it's the radioactive belt of Europe.

@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Nah, the radioactive part is relatively small. More like the "war-torn" belt of Europe

@demilung How's the russian invasion going?

You don't say.......

That poor ewe never wanted this.

Well said.

you say chick tract.

@@gweegweezoozoo Fancy seeing you here. Looking forward to your talkshow.

My grandmother still hands these out every Sunday after her church service lets out. She used to take me when I was a little girl and have me hand them out or put them in vending machines/ phone books/ phone booths/ soda boxes

@@futuredeadcamper1736 Really!? Pamphlets or VHS's? Or is the church in the digital age now? Very interesting! Is the church going strong nowadays? Not that I'm religious, just find the 'End Time's' groups fascinating. Were/ are you a follower?

@@Brisvegas420 I know in my little Church of Christ (oldest in the state of Alabama), we still have the tracts. Most C of C's do. But our main outreach avenues are now on FB and YT and what have you. It's likewise with most congregations, round here at least.

The Devil is in the pulpit, fleecing the flock and pulling the wool over their eyes, it's right there in the Pauline Epistles, for the Bible tells me so~ 🎶

@@autobotstarscream765 Oh hey, I recognize your name. You been on Digital Hammurabi live streams right? Also did you just refer to Paulogia?

It suddenly makes a lot of sense

So what are you saying is Estus Pirkle is actually a devil trying to scare people away from christianity?

+1Dudelove lol

+1Dudelove You’re gonna doxx Jack Chick? Nice. XD

Same here

+Terance Crosby takes me back to my horrible horrible atheist communist repressive childhood.

It's like dogmatic extremes are shitty or something. Thank goodness I have heavy drinking to help me cope.

+Mackenzie King oh yea, i remember all those decapitations and ear-nailings like it was yesterday. working in the feilds, singing about the glory of marxism all day. those were the days.

+Terance Crosby My methods involve five pound bags of meth, a box of condoms, a jerry can and a trip to the zoo, but we've all been 22 once, am I right?

+Moises Charles If they were rational, they wouldn't be in church ^^

Well said.

Churches are just propoganda centers for the ignorant hateful bible belt Republicans. The ones that think that Gay people are burning in hell because they arent fucking some pussy. All they do is push the rational and intelligent of our young people away from God. and quite frankly it's probably for the best.

@@Crrrow This was made by morons. I'm a Christian and a Republican, and I have to say this movie is bullshit. I had a preacher once tell me that more straight Christians will be in hell, because they are more concerned with what other people are doing, rather then what their own relationship with Jesus is. I'll bet most of the filmmakers behind this movie are in hell. Not all churches are propaganda, much like how not all Democrats voted for Hillary, but damn if Mr. Perkle isn't full of shit!

Moises Charles Don’t forget the movie’s fetish for dead children.

+kool'thuzad If 70s exploitation movies taught us anything, it's that there are always Satanic cults sabotaging Christianity from within, so probably...?

@@theFFVIguy That imagery's been with Judeo-Christianity since the beginning. Satan is a lawyer in God's court in Job, one of Jesus's followers in the Gospels (influencing at least Peter and Judas), and a Christian preacher in the Pauline Epistles.

I think this was supposed to scare them to Christianity.. however they did a terrible job. If this guy knew anything about Jesus teaching, he would know you are not supposed to force someone into the fold.. it has to be sincere

@Mariah Lightfoot hell yea what this guy said

It’s like Rock It’s Your Decision where it’s propaganda on the flip side

This movie was made by filthy casuls.

If footmen tire you, git gud.

If Hollows tire you, what will Ornstein do?

An undead favorite.

YES. The one where a seemingly endless swarm of "Enemy totally not Russian" military forces A Bomb our country and take over the irradiated remains? I concur.

That movie had less dead children in it and it wasn't made by Christians

anyone preaching old covenant scriptures are invalid and sacreligious. New covenant means you're good as long as you're a good person. Estus and his cursed ilk preach old covenant; fire and brimstone, etc. etc.

But wouldn't it be the same god? If the bible is taken as a record of events or even just as a book of metaphores of what that god would do, then that god still acted selfish and cruel. Even in the new testament, god seems gruesome. If sind wouldn't need to be punished, then why let your son die for them? If that punishment wouldn't be harsh, then why did Jesus need to suffer? The entire religion is based upon fear. Fear of fire and brimstone, a vengeful god, a hell to burn in, the apocalypse and an ancient serpant deceiver trying to manipulate you. It takes all your responsibility away and hands it over to god, jesus, the holy spirit and satan - you dont choose, you fall for someones tricks. I dont think that is right. The core values of Christian believe are great. Those are wholesome belief that lay a good base-set of rules and ideals, that lead to a healthy life, but anything that goes beyond being kind to eachother and respecting eachothers boundries, is simply absurd. All those rules to stay on the good side of a god, just for some promised paradise are hindering you to enjoy your life. So neither old or new are healthy in my book, they both bank on fear. Also, if seen as a overview of events, that book simply is untrue. If seen as metaphores weaved in with things that did happen and made up or exaggerated stories about several people to get a message across, it may not be entirely untrue, but it still pressures you into believing the religion it preaches through the threat of all the things that might happen if you dont.

[amens ironically]

+Awakeandalive1 The line about Far Side characters was hilarious, by the way.

I’d say it’s more like something Hurk Drubman made

FATALITY

We're gonna need another Timmy!

Yeah, I never quite understood that either despite being raised with that mindset of dancing, even though Psalms makes several mentions of dancing as a form of worship in the same way singing is.

No no, not countries that actually need help, only sexy beach destinations that people would _want_ to move to.

And Estus Pirkle sounds like a supervillain's secret identity

+Mr Sark Does not approve of this movie!

TheMouseAvenger good one. XD

+Mr Sark "What the hell is communism and what do I have to do with it?"

+Mr. Sark wept.

SARK!!!!!!

+Crazy Luigi this film sure was a nightmare

dontkillme

Fun fact, this film is only 50 minutes long

The longest 50 minutes of our lives.

Well to be nominated for an oscar the movie has to be at least 40 minutes long, and this is 50 minuts...

+docthemetalfreak I can see that too actually.

+Magmaster13 mother russia makes you strong.

+alucardyoici At least he didn't spinning pile driver poor little Billy!

+gantzisballs The spinning pile driver's reserved for the bears, comrade.

+alucardyoici YOU WANT MAKE YOUR HOME COUNTRY PROUD YES? YES.

Well, he died for Jesus. But damn!!! That was way over the top.

Nah Glenn Beck is alright. Rush Limbaugh and the people from Fox are the bad ones.

+xeagaort Beck was booted by Fox for being too nutty. He's really not alright.

+xeagaort What the hell? This is the same person I've seen in this comment thread defending Glenn Beck while also bashing other right wing talk show hosts.

Alex DeLarge He actually wasn't booted at all. He left on his own accord because he wanted to have his own channel. I'm sure it may seem like he was booted to the outside looker though. There are no hard feelings between Fox and Glen.

SundaysEnd What?

So from beastiality to using sex machines then?

What kind of kid showed you this in sixth grade, exactly?!

+Crazy Luigi ... Probably the same type that would show them their penis afterwards -__-.

+Crazy Luigi a weird sadistic one.

+Crazy Luigi funny enough We also both ended up in the same film studies class in high school And are now both film majors Life is weird

+Crazy Luigi also, we both went to catholic school So that was probably how he found it He just thought it was really funny

Or the Finnish word "perkele" or devil.

Jack Brearley don't forget I bet the communist will let us dance and watch cartoons too. Hooray for communism!

Yes Comrade!

You'll have to go to work at 5:00 though.

@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Thing is...I already do. So...

I agree, Comrade.

I was just going to comment the same thing.

Eastern Bloc?

@@thequietdreamer2186 Former Czechoslovakia.

@@thequietdreamer2186 Like, religious persecution did happen, but it was more like... Openly religious people being denied some opportunities on account of being "suspicious", tight control over clergy, abolition of religious orders, imprisonment of monks and nuns, and so on.

@@tereziamarkova2822Ah, that explains it. For people like Pirkle, it’s not that hard to guess by what they mean when they use the term “Communism”.

Are you sure he wasn't venting his repressed sexual desires via writing those books because the title sounds like a porno that has gangbangs and beastiality.

That's exactly what a communist would say

And now Judy's mother is dead... BEACUSE OF YOU!!!

+Ethan Olsvik Nice try Comrade! You will not steal our souls!

Does this mean you know the seven erotic zones?

+Ethan Olsvik Unless someone's asexual, I agree.

The first one.

''Hey Scotty! Horses man!

+Stefan B. The far right in the US hate the Muslims, the Neocons STILL hate the Russians, even though they aren't communist any more. They control their own natural resources and thus must be destroyed. The wahabbis that kill our citizens in the US are our "allies". Between the far right and neocons, I'm not sure who I hate more.

Mississippi

And those were actually M-16s. So is he suggesting that if people stop being Christians the US government will turn Communist overnight?

I was thinking the same thing.

+aacsmiles TALKING DOGS ARE THE DEVIL!!!!

+aacsmiles Not to mention The Flintstones depicting dinosaurs living with man.