True, every interaction i have with a woman it's not about sharing, it's about getting their approval, my goal for this year is to learn self love and improve my self esteem Videos like yours, Julie himself and others are helping me a lot, thank you so much for this knowledge, it's changing my life
My parents treated me like shit as a child. They always made me feel inferior, compared me with other people and gave me insecurities. They always discouraged me and dismissed my needs and wants as insignificant. As a result, I have become this person who doesn't know what they deserve and have a hard time in relationships because I feel like I don't deserve anything, that I am worthless and also keep comparing myself with their exes, other women in their lives and sabotage every relationship. I realized I am actually seeking that relationship where my parents cannot dismiss/diss/discourage/belittle me .. and it's never gonna happen because no matter what I choose they will find fault. So I need to change this mindset and love myself and stop seeking their validation.
Yes because your parents are the source where you came from and you belong to them unconsciously. How you perceive everything about this world is how they perceive or the opposite of it. That's why traumatized people either become the person their parents like them to be (BPD), people pleasing become their self defense... or they'll be the opposite of what their parents wanted and create your own trauma (NPD) who will feel criticize by everyone and hurting others become their self defense. That are the extreme personalities but of course psychology is much more deeper and wider then that.
Because your core sense of self worth comes from if your needs were met in childhood. Literally teaching you "I am worthy of being alive" or "I am not worthy of being alive".
Right? Everyone's always like its cuz you want a parents approval. Yeah ok we know this. So how do you make that stop? Just saying "i don't need it" doesn't change anything.
Think about the things that you dont like in yourself and improve them to your own standards and if you can't improve, lower the bar and accept them. If you really approve every aspect of yourself, you won't seek it outside
The way you give the approval to yourself is through mental repetition. Keep saying to yourself in third person affirmations like " you are worthy and you are loved unconditionally".
Exactly. It’s so fucking frustrating. People barely talk about this exact problem. I see a video about it finally and click it, but then it’s completely useless because it doesn’t help Just explains the sistuatioj you’re in that you already know.
It's about them ! They sexy ,calm ,soft ,down to earth , stylish and Manish 😍. My self worth is so high I don't need nobody elses approval. Also know him longer . I have tried to see those cualities in others but nah they robots I have no connection no attraction what so ever , believe me I want to get over it I'm tired of being begger ! wish there was a pill i could take to erase him out of my memory! 😣
Hi Francesca, really love your content! Would you consider doing a video on ways to give yourself whatever it is we may have been missing like approval from a parent you use as an example in this video? Your videos are amazing at identifying an issue but having some that explain how we can fix it too would really have the potential to help people
It was true. It was my parents. At one time, this individual was there during my Moms passing and initial grief. Then they were in my life again during a close call of My Dad passing.. and a wave of "connection" fell on me and I thought they were meant to care for me and protect me and stay interested in me. So i stayed in limerance... I tried extra hard to be noticed or in their path but never involved.. safer that way. Hard to undo the habits but its possible. Be honest with yourself. I'm more whole from realizing my situation and my traumas
It's not the parental thing, in plight of our own experience. We are growing as the parent we aught to be, almost just by introspection alone. Been there done that, they still have strong aspirations. Not only the young.
How can I get that to myself ...is actually the better way to say that. You NEED approval from another person 3 or 4 times for the same thing in order to kick off a response to now give it to your self!
Been obsessing over this girl that I haven’t even seen for 3 years. She’s dating someone else and probably gonna get married soon. It’s really bad and there’s probably something really wrong with me. Still can’t stop tho 😐
noteuser15 I really feel you because it can be absolute hell to be obsessed with someone, especially for long periods of time! I found that having no contact with the person and grieving, which can entail feeling a lot of pain and crying, assisted me in the past. I agree that it usually goes back to unhealed childhood issues, then the thoughts and desire stops after doing this work, which isn't easy, yet freeing when it happens. ❤
I see you, bro... I see you Here's my tip : get out of the world. Leave your city, get a house someplace else in the rural areas. Build your life. All the whores who will survive the upcoming years will come back crawling, you'll be a prince and have the choice of a King.
@@whenyousmileismiletoo5419 then pay rent someplace else. Looks hard on paper, but I did. It's possible. Grind for a couple months, even with a shitty job. now you have a purpose and a reason to wake up. But the most important : leave and give no warning shots. Tell no one where you go, except people who legit are able to come and help you.
Rejection isnt always about you. Im happy with myself if someone doesnt like it then so be it " it doesnt bother me. I keep my distance from everyone in my life because i come first. The last time i really obsessed about someone i was in high school an very imature " haha im 46 now dont get obsessed i believe im very wise.
This is an extremely helpful video for all the people who have huge "crushes" on others and aren't aware of the origin. I don't like having a "crush" on someone at all, especially when they're unavailable and/or it's obvious that nothing is going to happen. I'll run screaming from the person if I even sense an inkling of one starting again. Lol. I've done more healing work on my childhood trauma issues though, so might be lucky, or I'd nip it in the bud by staying away, if possible. 😊
I am obsessing over someone who already has a partner and we are good friends I don't if talking to her has become a habit or is it something else But I don't like this obsession
@@andersongomez636 yeah we are she is in a commited relationship I don't want to be with her It's just that talking to her has become a habit And All habits are not good
Don't believe me or lie to yourself but it's clear that any obsession about a girl disqualified friendship... We could say that you're waiting in a unhealthy way for her !
@@ishanagrawal4961 wish you good luck bro with all respect ... If her BF doesn't know you guys are talking she's using you for validation, you deserve better!
It's not if you suffer from that. If you obsess over someone you barely know, it's not love, but a trauma bond. You have something from your past you need to fix.
@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier this happend to me tho im unsure of what the past issue was, talked to a girl, spent a ton of time together talking hanging. She then suddenly got distant and i found myself becoming needy (petty) despite not knowing a whole lot about her. She said all the right things tho to draw me in, the sudden 180 in attitude messed with me i wont lie. When i decided to simply stop she suddenly "misses me" ect, ive come to realise thats grossly manipulative.
