I struggle with self-harm and skin picking which has lead to this endless cycle of harming and picking scabs and keeping wounds open for weeks. It helps knowing I'm not alone in these behaviors... its hard to not feel extremely ashamed but I'm trying to be kind and understanding to myself like I would a friend.
Believe me, you are not alone. Just let me tell you something: you need to think about what your life would be without dermatilomania, but without blaming yourself and regreating what you did to your skin in a past. You need to focus on how bad you will feel after picking for days and not focusing on that one moment of satisfaction. That helped ME a lot. I mean i am not compleately healed but i think im getting better. You will get better too, you just need to believe it.
My boyfriend won’t stop pointing it out when I pick my skin. It’s making my anxiety and shame worse. I try to tell him this isn’t helping me but he won’t stop.
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-6pmuwBiuagI.html Hello. Show him this video that talks more about BFRB so that he's informed about the theme. I would also like to suggest that if he does not understand the subject about BFRB and keeps pointing out the skin picking even after you showed him this video and told him to stop, set some solid boundaries about the situation. You deserve to be understood and not shamed. I hope I was able to help.
@@JeffryMichaels That's not the point. She didn't say that her boyfriend has a compulsion to point out everytime she picks her skin. She clearly said that when her boyfriend points out when she picks her skin, it makes her feel more anxious and ashamed of the behavior. Perhaps you thought that her boyfriend pointing out everytime she picks her skin was a compulsion when she wrote: "I try to tell him this isn't helping me but he won't stop".
I never thought I would hear this from a therapist, but this is absolutely true and makes a lot of sense. I have been skin-picking for 50 years, sometimes just a little, and sometimes out of control. Many times I have stopped and started again. However, if I don't feel out of control it doesn't bother me that much (I like the idea of 30%). After all this time I do feel like this habit is a part of my personality and don't want to lose the habit completely. There, I admitted it. Maybe that's why I've never been able to stop completely, and now a therapist I respect is saying "you're OK as you are". Genius, thank you!
I feel the most out of control when I try to go for stopping 100% instead of just 50% or 30% or whatever. The all or nothing mindset is hella destructive
I think the main issue with telling people who skin pick to 'just allow yourself to do it' is that it can cause things like infections. It's not one of those harmless habits that you can always just let yourself do; if it's bad enough and you don't know how to properly take care of the results - it can hurt, a LOT. Having open wounds all the time like that is not good and if not taken care of correctly it can lead to infections
It's bad to just let it happen, but for people with habits like this, they learn how to manage these things really quickly. I knew how to get around infections since I was in first grade. And by the time I got to 4th grade, I had learned how to pick my skin and where to pick in order to avoid horribly painful open wounds and nerve endings. It gets easier to treat once you learn more about your habit. I would only really say to stop if it is too hard to manage or you feel it is a problem for you. It's just harder to stop than to treat for some people. Some people are able to manage the conditions easier if they aren't trying to stop because slip up make you feel terrible and want to do it more, but you can't, so you just get kind of depressed.
Thanks for this. I've gone through periods where this has completely ruined my life, including one that lasted almost a year. It's a spectrum that can be a mild annoyance, or an incredibly serious problem. I'll never be totally rid of this but it doesn't interfere greatly with my life at this point.
I took all the mirrors out of my house and have one only one compact mirror and keep it far enough from face to check my lipstick twice a day - I don't allow myself to bring it close to my skin. For me, I have figured out what circumstances triggered the compulsion. What made me determined to stop was the very real fear of getting an unstoppable blood infection and losing a limb or death. I believe my Continued picking for years lowered my immune system gradually. I stopped by taking that compulsive energy and channeling it into anything neutral or (preferably) productive - cleaning, play doh, silly putty, modeling clay, painting my home, just painting and drawing, embroidery. Picking stole so many hours of my life that I finally said that I won't allow to steal one more minute of the finite hours of my life!
Thank you so much. I never even thought of accepting this behaviour without shame and as soon as you spoke those words the butterflies disappeared from my stomach.
Bitten the inside of my mouth for 9 years and pull out my hair and never realised it could be ocd. Defo an anxiety thing now but I just did it as a habit back then
When you said what the secret was, my anxiety shot way up. My skin picking caused my oncologist to prescribe antibiotics. I pick around my cancer related scars.
I have done it all my life, I'm now 31 I don't know if I will ever stop and if I want to stop or not. I do both skin-picking and my hair story is I always 9 times out of 10 in the day I fiddle or plait, unplait, plait my hair until I feel better. I do it when depressed, stressed, anxious or sad. My mum tells me to stop all the time but it makes me want to do it all the more. The most I've gone without doing any of them is 2 days. I'm so confused about it but you videos are helping a lot. Thank you.😊
I have been a hair puller my whole life. I was always pretty, but pulling my hair out made me have huge bald patches all throughout my hair, even tho it was long. It made it hard to find a job ,bcuz it had to b a job where Im allowed to wear a hat, so, no office jobs. Bcuz a baseball cap or bandana don't go with dress clothes & heels. So it affected my entire life, made me broke, getting intimate with a guy. No job no boyfriend, it affected everything. But believe it or not,I was able to beat it. For 7 years now. And I started as a child, til almost 40 years old. I'm 44 now. Sometimes, when I'm under stress,I catch myself starting to pull,but it's a lot easier to stop myself now. It wasn't at first But, u can beat this. No matter how long it's been happening. I thought I'd b doin it for the rest of my life & was so ashamed. But there's hope.
Thank you for your compassionate approach first and foremost. I hadn’t really considered hiw much of me or my life experience May be wrapped up in this other than just how awfully time consuming and physically painful it is. Thank you for pouring in a salve of love and kindness first. I’m really interested in your course. I’ve had a bfrd since just before kindergarten and it only vanished in my life when all the bases were covered, meaning finances, work I loved, a great community and regular surfing. During that time I once forgot the last time I had engaged in the bfrb. About 3 months.
You are the best My intrusive thoughts are gone thanks to u I started to agree with the thoughts but not care and I sad ya totally, maybe maybe not let's do maybe I will, etc and that got rid of it it still happens time to time but it's way better love from Canada
Wait what!?!?! Where were you when I was a young teen being shamed by my mother via therapy to stop this "awful" behavior?? I have always felt confident in myself despite hair pulling but that was never good enough to my mom, she must bring me to feel shame for it. It wasn't ok that I was ok in that I did it, to her she must find a way to stop me because in her eyes there was no way that I could possibly be ok with myself and feel confident in myself since I did it. I wish someone explained this to my mom, would have saved me a lot of truama in regards to truama and my counsellor and my mother attempting to force me to stop via forcing me to attend therapy and via privacy invasions and shaming.
Hi I was hoping you could do something on stress related OCD where it goes away or mostly for long periods of time but comes back when life gets stressful? Thanks for your time.
My scalp picking is messy and I always feel gross about it. There's always blood under my fingernails or when people point out I'm bleeding I feel ashamed. This helps! 😊
I struggle with this really badly. My grandma tells me to stop picking my scabs, I try to stop so hard but without even thinking I pick and pick and pick. My bed sheets have blood spots from my legs and arms. I get mosquito bites a lot and I scratch. I don’t feel embarrassed I don’t feel shame, I feel different I love who I am I just can’t stop picking. My grandma also tells me that picking is a sign of depression and self harm, which I feel she does not understand because I don’t know why I pick and I feel good. I hunk I have just gotten so good at cleaning the scab and the blood it does not bother me at all even more.
Weird one that seems to be working for me is allowing myself to shave it. Obviously, can't do that to my eyelashes but has been working so far with my brows, I'm a lot less aware of them which is awesome!
@@ocdandanxiety nathan sir can u pls make a video on phobia from blood pressure. When ever i go to clinic for any kind of treatment my heart starts racing just by seeing sphygmomanometer. And most of the time my bp reading raises because of that.. and whenever i chck my bp at home by my self only it appears to be normal Allahmdullilah. Can u plss plss make a video on this issue because it effects my life as i scared to go for any typ of treatment just because i got anxious that what if my bp raises if dr chck it and i even try to calm my sef down but nothing help me in this i watch almost all your videos but i dont find video on this topic plss plss do rep or make a detail video on this🙏🙏
Hello Nathan, I have begun punching myself in my arms and legs as a compulsion. I feel like I need to prove to myself that the thoughts I have are bad and the physical action seems to ‘help’ with that. What does this mean?
I live in a super dry area and I'm horrible at drinking enough water, so my lips are almost always chapped. The textural difference bothers me because of sensory stuff. I started picking at my lips really young and haven't been able to stop since. At this point, it's an automatic stim and I don't even notice when I'm doing it most of the time. My lips bleed often because of it and I have some mild scarring. I want to stop so I can have healthier lips/skin
Hello . I am from Iran and I have a problem with hair and skin pulling. In Iran, international currency accounts are not supported and there is no way to pay. Also, the amount of 217 dollars is my salary for several months. And I do not have the ability to pay such an amount. Do you have a solution for that? I will be very grateful This disease hurts me a lot and I suffered a lot of personal and social problems. I hate myself and I don't like my appearance at all. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I promise to make it up to you in any way I can
Hi . I was wondering about something. I don't pull my hair out. But , shave my head whenever I get stressed. Which is alot of the time. Just can't let my hair or nails grow out. Tired of being bald . Is there a term for such behavior ?
Is Harm OCD the same as constantly thinking of suicide? Like not in the sense that I would do it but just in general like my thoughts are how could people do that? Like what were there thoughts? @OCDandAnxiety
I went to therapy a couple of times, but most of the therapists are saying that hair-pulling disorder will be extremely hard to treat without medications, do you believe this is true based on your clinical experience?
No way. Most I see tend to do treatment without medication. If some are trying really hard at treatment and are struggling, then maybe they look to see if it’ll help.
I would have liked to watch this to the end, but the frequent flashes along with sound effects were very irritating. I don’t know why; maybe my Vyvanse needs to be increased. Please don’t use this visual/sound effect in your videos.
Does your BFRB Program help for nail biting? I’m 31 and it’s been a struggle with me with my nail biting. I’ve been able to stop for periods of time but always go back to it. Ugh!
I usually like this channel but i think this is bad advice. Don’t just let yourself do it! Of course if you relapse don’t beat yourself up about it, but don’t just let yourself do it. Picking can be really destructive to your skin and you should try your hardest to stop. One thing that helped me was taping over the light dimmer switches in my bathroom so it was less bright and harder to pick at my skin. You could also just leave a little post it reminder on your mirror if that works. Alternatively you can put paper or cloth over your mirrors and cover them completely. Knitting, crocheting, coloring books, drawing, and fidget toys help some people because they help you zone out in a less destructive way. Another thing that helps me is making a rule for myself that I can only pick 3 pimples every time I go to the bathroom. This works for me some of the time.
maybe it's the perspective of giving yourself the permission to do it, instead of saying you shouldn't be doing it at all which can lead to shame and guilt when you engage. i understand your point though. what may work for some might not work for others
