If You're an Independent Woman Having Trouble Finding a Man, Watch This | Relationship Theory

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Being a strong independent woman at one point was and still is a badge of honor that successful driven women proudly wear. At what point though, does being strong and independent swing so far that it leaves men feeling unwanted and not needed? Is a man’s desire to carry you at times problematic for the strong independent woman? Where is the balance that allows women to boss up in their professional lives and still allow them to let their guard down and be open and vulnerable with the right man in their personal lives? Tom and Lisa tackle the question, do men want to be with women that need them. Lisa is a powerhouse businesswoman and Tom is a powerhouse entrepreneur as well. How they approach this balance is the insight strong independent women and men need to have better, healthier, loving relationships.
Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships.
SHOW NOTES:
You Lead | Tom explains why Lisa being in leadership role doesn’t detract from his value [1:06]
Him Problem| Being secure with the value of providing for a woman & threatened if not [4:48]
Her Problem | Being too strong & prideful, not allowing men to feel needed or valuable [6:10]
Balance | Lisa on women not being so strong you turn him away but not needy also [7:04]
Need vs. Want | Lisa’s example thinking she needed Tom and realizing she wanted him [8:11]
Being Needed | Tom on the power of being needed & showing up for a strong partner [10:04]
Call Me “Baby” | Tom shares why people call each other “baby” in romantic relationships [12:29]
Constant “You” | How you are the only constant in every relationship you have, own it! [15:47]
Social Proof | Lisa on how to look at other couples to determine if your belief is correct [17:40]
QUOTES:
“It's just smart, to be so emotionally secure, that you can be nimble and say it doesn't detract from my value for you to be in a leadership position. And I'm very capable of also stepping into that” Tom Bilyeu [4:22]
“People want to feel good. People want to feel like they're bringing value to a relationship.” Lisa Bilyeu [7:19]
“Being needed is so powerful, and when you're with somebody who is so strong and confident, the few times you get to really be a hero, and to be useful, you want to make sure that you're there for that.” Tom Bilyeu [10:25]
“Being needed in a relationship is beautiful.” Lisa Bilyeu [12:02]
“Set your dominant base assumption aside and say, what could this be if it couldn't be that? What else might it be? See, if you stumble upon something that's just as plausible” Tom Bilyeu [16:45]

Опубликовано:

16 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 139

@RelationshipTheory 3 года назад

How do you encourage your partner to be independent?

@MulattoMovement 3 года назад

what point does LGBT harassing straight people become sexual harassment?

@sophiec3592 3 года назад

I’m a single mom of two, I AM fully independent & take care 100% of the children financially & physically with no help from their dad. Now after 3 years of doing me, my ex bf came into the picture, he loved that I ‘was’ independent. I’m like uhm why do I hAve a bf again? He was persistent after a year, he changed. When I ran into minor health issue, he ‘couldn’t’ or it was ‘burden’ for him to care for me. I ended that relationship just last month - I’m going through a healing process - it was surely an experience I have learned.

@MulattoMovement 3 года назад

@@sophiec3592 if you are dependent on the government you're not independent but still independent on men through the government. I believe in women's full independence in that they pay for these government services they use and men pay for the services that they use. None of this charging men's taxes to provide what men normally provide giving men nothing in the exchange no reason to share government or state.

@MulattoMovement 3 года назад

@@sophiec3592 women need to defend their own sovereign for their right to self rule with their own military, and build their own buildings with their own labour. They need to pay for their own healthcare and stop trying to share a system to exploit the male population. There should be no female only decisions that men are responsible for paying when the participation is no longer involuntary.

@sophiec3592 3 года назад

@@MulattoMovement unfortunately there are people who need help, regardless if they’re a women or man. Because of my determination and hard work I graduated with my degree in health care, 💯 % support my children without help, so honesty I may be the one either taking care of you or your family. So with that said please don’t assume.

@tamarawest6203 3 года назад

Another point to note here is that often women have no choice but to be independent. Perhaps they do not have much family support or grew up in a single parent household where they had to become independent early in life. Right now as a single woman, I have to work or I'll be homeless so there is no choice but to be Independent in my life. Men need to understand that some women are independent out of necessity rather than by preference, and that has nothing to do with them.

@reginasemenenko148 3 года назад

100%!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to do the same!!!!!

@yuliya2201 3 года назад

so true. I had to escape and become self-reliant, and I greatly appreciated that freedom at first. But I don't feel being independent is bringing me as much satisfaction as I thought it would

@ngeee10 3 года назад

Amen to that!

@sarahmc8309 3 года назад

100% that’s me ! No family alive , 5 memebers passed away - going profoundly deaf and single parent - I had go back school online to study sign language and work a better than than healthcare to manage and be alive for my son and I other we be homeless 🤷‍♀️

@AkshayKumar-ue1fp 3 года назад

Men don't need to understand anything. Men find women attractive who are naturally submissive. Women can be independent outside but inside the home they need to know their place. Women who are smart know that, women who want to be independent get exactly that - independence. When men lack a skill they go learn it, when women lack a skill they want men to accommodate. Hell nah.

@talesreis 3 года назад

What a great episode! Here are my personal notes: 😄😄💥 🤔 *Q :* _"Do men want to be with women who need them?"_ *A:* Who on Earth would want to be in a partnership where the other person is better than them at everything? It would be miserable. It's important to both acknowledge each other's strenghts and weaknesses, and to alternate between a leading position and follower position. But be careful to not value so much your own independance to the point where you don't allow someone to come into your space and to be vulnerable. Also, whenever you're assessing a situation, ask _"What can I do differently to get a different result?"_

@NoahAvery96 3 года назад

I’ve noticed that when guys are needy and not self reliant it is always a turn off to women. When women are needy and not self reliant it is only sometimes a turn off to men. Sometimes it gives the guy a sense of importance. “Men would die for importance, women would die for love.” -Tony Robbins

@lazznotjustauniformanalyst65 3 года назад

The first statement is spot on. Tony Robbins statemenr is flawed. When women say love its a short answer without stating the prerequisites of responsibility, paying bills and maintaing certain things "garner" their respect. Duty and respect are the anchor if love. In the absence of the duo love is wayward without an double achor that ensures longevity. I'm not a professor.

@Canarinhas 3 года назад

@@lazznotjustauniformanalyst65 But you are right! I absolutely agree. It is interesting, as a woman, to realise that a man in need has been attractive to me. I wonder why? I guess the woman’s traditional role is to take care of the home and those in it. That’s how I was brought up to see: although my mother worked as a teacher, just like my dad, they hired a housekeeper - but the house management, as well as the children’s was always my mother’s responsibility. So she was always busy and taught us the importance of being busy, independent while occasionally caring. And that is not attractive to men...

@NoahAvery96 3 года назад

@@Canarinhas at the end of the day, you’re here on this channel bettering yourself and that’s awesome

@latinaalma1947 2 года назад

I have treated many men who have an emotional need to rescue women. I have found most had someone who desperately needed rescue in their childhoods....nearly always a female, mother, older sister, etc. They were powerless at 5 or 8 or 12 to be her rescuer so that lack of power at the time created a powerful need to rescue other women later. They go from woman to woman, often very bad choices for them.. highly neurotic women or highly disagreeable women who drive others away or women who are driven by their own emotional traumas to male terrible decisions in their lives and make bad choices. Its hard for such men to walk away from a perpetually desperately needy woman eg a covert narcissist...the men have to change their emotional ATTRACTION to such women, their burning desire to magically rewrite their childhood history via their current lives. I have seen some wonderful men brought to their psychological knees by such women in adulthood. The women are deeply wounded OR they have personality disorders difficu.t to treat even by professionals...a lay person doesnt have a prayer of making such women's lives better. It's in the woman is cuch a case,not in the man. See? FEMALE therapists and psychologists are NOT always "on the womans side"..actually we dont TAKE sides, we dont assign blame but we CAN see clearly how destructive a psychologically ill or personality disordered person makes life painful for others. And when we have them in therapy, we try to get them to SEE, to understand that. That their assumptioms, prior wounds and behavior are CAUSING their misery. Sometimes we get through and make alot of progress with but we NEVER endorse a person to causing pain intentionally to others or to STAY in pain themselves...the object of therapy is to grow, not stay stuck where a person is. Sometimes,medication is part of the answer, other times other therapeutics are best. That is why there are levels of practitioners from unlicensed and modestly trained "coaches" and "trainers" to master degreed social workers trained in counseling and master degreed marriage and family counselors to psychologists, then clinical psychologists ...the only non MD psychiatric trained professionals legally permitted to diagnose.

@blendi3825 Год назад

Exactly! And the problem with some indipendent women is they do not give importance to the average man.

@vitasovicverna1562 3 года назад

This made me think that I want somebody to complement me. I can manage being by myself but I do not want it nor do I wish being single eternally is in my future

@AhmetKaan 3 года назад

*You can't make them happy if they aren't happy with themselves.* To the person who is reading this comment: *The chances of you seeing this comment is really low, I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤

@jJust_NO_ 3 года назад

truth.. thats why i dont bother sticking my nose into other's life just like I don't find other's when my life crumbles. unless its physiological then i need a doctor but mentally speaking? nobody can fix that but only me

@gabrielavilla7308 3 года назад

men get self esteem when they know they are giving something valuable to a woman, but we don't need to manufacture weakness, we can just share our honest humanness with them and if they are a good match they'll be able to support us in that. If not, we'll find someone who can, because we need support. My guess is that this single mom has learned not to rely on other people for support even though she really could use it, because she's human and we all need it, and that closed-off-ness is what drives men away. It's like maybe she's not being honest with the hardships of her life and is internalizing a lot and powering through to put on a brave face for her kids... but it's not really honest.

@jJust_NO_ 3 года назад

what I realize and observe is individual life alone is very hard to manage. sometimes when its becoming so hard and unmanageble, we want others to share that misery within. That is the only truth I see. to be seen and understood. thats the only reason why we need company.

@oshoasino6173 3 года назад

I think that independence is all about not depending on someone else to make you happy and to give you a sense of self worth. That said,I don’t think it should be a turn off, because it means that you don’t always need your partner to make you feel better all the time and you are able to go and do other things that make you happy, away from your partner…I think it just depends on how you define independence, but in my view, I believe that two independent people can come together romantically and still have a successful relationship…it’s two whole people coming together,meaning they can bring more into the relationship as opposed to two halves coming together and depending on each other to make them whole. It’s like Lisa said,not in her exact words: 1.Either he feels threatened by her independence in the sense that he needs to be the provider in the relationship and needs to feel needed in order to give him a sense of purpose;or 2. She feels like she doesn’t need anyone at all,just on her own island,with nobody else on it but her,because she feels she can function on her own without anybody. So it all depends on how you define independence 🤷🏽‍♀️

@oshoasino6173 3 года назад

It’s also important for both parties to be both the leader and follower in certain situations…one partner can’t always be the leader and the other partner can’t always be the follower,because you both have strengths and weaknesses,so one might be better at some things than the other and vice versa.

@realtalk675 3 года назад

Daddy is so weird for me to say to my man. Its cringes me 😂😂

@eminaroses7005 3 года назад

Same!! And the other way around. I don’t understand how men call their woman “mama”…especially when no kids are involved.

@realtalk675 3 года назад

@@eminaroses7005 🤣🤣🤣

@jJust_NO_ 3 года назад

lol yay

@CubanLibertarian 3 года назад

Try "papi"

@catharases 3 года назад

@@CubanLibertarian OMG, I lost it at "try papi" 😆🤣😂 thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

@amg0788 3 года назад

People need to raise their standards for themselves so they can be and have the partner of their dreams.

@Canarinhas 3 года назад

That’s definitely what I have been working on lately - but inly realised it after my ex-husband left, 7 years ago. I had a really hard time understanding why, as I had always been nice and caring (not submissive and surely independent). Self love and respect is the only way to go!

@ligiasommers 3 года назад

Love love love those episodes !!! Thank you two so much 🙏🏻💖🌹

@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад

I’m with Lisa - it her process of selection - she’s almost having the same relationship over again. - I would encourage her to go for men that value independence in a woman. X 👌🏽😃🌈✨X

@aligned4good 3 года назад

Thank you! I think I had a better understanding to why I have attracted men into my life that wanted to care for me. I think it is something I must work on. I tend to see men who want to take care of me as a control issue rather than a nurturing act. I have always been independent, and I believe that if a men (or a woman) don't feel needed, it turns them away from each other. I need to investigate why I do what I do. Same issue, different faces....Thanks again.

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

The issue is feeling "needed" which denotes power imbalance. We should instead desire feeling "wanted".

@aligned4good Год назад

@@Heyu7her3 Thank you.

@GivenFactNotFiction 3 года назад

I found one flaw with you discussion.. What a independent woman is and the different version of it were never given a frame work.

@juanwononeyuan 3 года назад

men and women need each other and are better together. the idea of being independent is a lie. if u don't need anyone y stick around when things get hard? everyone needs to feel needed. i avoid women who stress their independence because they usually come with baggage and r uncooperative and aggressive. on the flip side i wouldn't date someone who still lived with her parents or couldn't take of themselves. i want a capable hard working partner, but someone who needs me to become their best and to build a family with, not for their basic survival.

@travislivingston378 3 года назад

This is a good comment

@conniecleveland7642 Год назад

Whatever you don't know what you want type men you don't want her independent but you don't want her living at home with her parents huh. This why I support and provide and loyalty and cook and clean for only for myself I whether have a cat instead a man. I holla to man when I need the sex.

@juanwononeyuan Год назад

@@conniecleveland7642 being independent is more than paying ur bills and taking care of urself, no one is an island. humans have emotional needs, if u only worry about physical things ur only satisfying ur more base needs, and neglecting the higher ones (think maslow's hierarchy of needs). for most people, the most meaningful thing they do is raise kids. and the depth of a relationship is proportional to the amount of life experience u've had with them. to really know someone can take a decade or more, maybe a lifetime. some are like telsa or nietzsche, but most aren't and do better with a mate.

@joelrodriguez2152 Год назад

i dont need a woman to survive i am fine by my self i have peace n quiet n i enjoy it so much that i rather date a femine woman i dont find independent woman atractive

@JennaParikka 3 года назад

I've been in a relationship where my independence was highly appreciated, although I think it was mostly used by my partner to not feel like he has to commit. If he would have been more open to commitment, either my independence would have made him feel not needed - or it would have become an amazing relationship.

@mattarjaiskel4625 3 года назад

Love is all about exchanging. The only thing that makes a relationship strong and healthy is just finding balance between both partners.

@AscendMentality 3 года назад

Wow. I can’t with some of these heated comments… 😂 I would just say love yourself, love your partner, and support each other

@kat4965 3 года назад

I just want to say: I love you Lisa and Tom! You're magic!!!

@AscendMentality 3 года назад

Tom needed Lisa for that fuzzy. So touching 🥰

@jJust_NO_ 3 года назад

maybe there will come a time when an individual no longer see a relationship based on need but of solidarity. no longer an 'I want you because you fulfill me or you complete me' , in short coming from a sense of lack. But a relationship coming from two complete individuals. What is the unfoldment of that? , i dont know but I'm willing to see and experience

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

Yes except the discarded dynamic is moreso "I need you..."

@lilibethnieto55 3 года назад

You both are lovely and exemplifies what the content about…thank you for a profound thoughts 😍

@themoldavitecorner 3 года назад

Love you, guys! 🤗🤗😘😘 Thank you for the great advice and wisdom as always!

@latinaalma1947 2 года назад

Power, control and making all the decisions was the LAST thing I wanted in a relationship. That is what I had and did at work all day being a university administrator. I wanted to give up that leader role and relax at home. I wanted him to take the lead suggesting what we would do on weekends relax on our sailboat or something more active...we were so attuned we NEVER had any disagreement about our personal lives. I loved to take off my suit of armor ...my business suit , kick off my heels, put on something feminine but comfortable, cook him dinner and eat on our comfie pit sofa watching foreign movies we liked. Three nights a week we worked out together at a male gym women werent forbidden but it was designed purely for men so women never went. I loved it. We did serious workouts that got rid of our work tension. We have been together 40 yrs now and are retired. He built us a beautiful tropical home abroad with local labor ...he was builder developer. This was after 7yrs of liveaboard sailing when we first retired at 50 and 55 in the Caribbean.It has been an idyllic life...we have never had power struggles. Home was always an escape from all that competition, decisionmaking etc . There was never any doubt in his mind I COULD be fully independent...I WANTED HIM though and he wanted me. Sybil Francis PhD clinical psychologist, professor, administrator

@allysonf419 3 года назад

Perhaps men have been socialized to have to be better at everything and are threatened by a woman who is competent and self reliant. This may also be a generational thing. Because I am strong and independent I have been told that I am "intimidating" but this came from an older gentleman. So when a woman is competent in an area there is an insecurity on the part of many men. My strength has been viewed as a negative ie; you're "tough". I was a single mother, started my own business, etc. It so happens that I am a certain age - wonder how old.this woman who wrote it is - and men in my age group are typically like this and have been socialized this way so, yes, it is a "him" problem. So I am seeing someone 15 years younger who is more progressive minded. No problems there.

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

Pretty NYC. Men haven't evolved relationally and it's sad.

@lisaberry2446 3 года назад

Not only interesting but come on .. you two are so darn cute ! Glad I saw this new channel advertised on The other Channel !! Thank you I’m excited to listen to more AND SHARE! 💜 💫

@olivier7865 3 года назад

this was incredible. thank you for this video

@aashimagogia9200 3 года назад

How should a woman think, when her partner is not capable to understand her needs multiple times (major emotional needs)? Isn't it natural to loose trust for other needs as well, on that partner, in that case, and become independent in ALMOST all aspects?

@mariem.6042 3 года назад

Major emotional needs - that’s sth you need to work on. No partner can fulfill nor should be responsible for that if you’ve got some real issues. Therapy could be a start and I mean this sincerely.

@shreeshiva9421 2 года назад

Or maybe just communicate about ur needs and if still doesn't work then find someone who understands those needs..... I think this whole "becoming independent" is ur not taking any accountability for something which you could've done and then still blaming ur partner for it

@apollofateh324 3 месяца назад

Yes it's natural to lose trust, especially after you've told them what you needed and they haven't fixed the problem. At that point it's likely a compatibility issue though: they either don't want to or can't (lack the capacity to) give you what you need. You can try to become "independent", or you can find other people that want to and are able to meet those needs, which is definitely the better option.

@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад

Brilliant Video!! Thank-you Guys! 👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽😃🌈🌟

@HIGHLANDER_ONLY_ONE 3 года назад

I totally agree with Tom. As a confident woman, and have been independent, I agree that I need to give my husband the time to shine, and feel that he's needed and wanted. That I value his good intentions. Who doesn't like their partner, my husband in this case to bring me breakfast in bed?! I can make my own breakfast, Bieber he does that with so much love, and he needs me to enjoy it and to appreciate him. I let him know that if course at that moment, and I mention these times briefly in birthday cards etc. I'm at the point that my eldest daughter bought a house and moved out, and my son is going away to college, and in two years my youngest will also will be going away for college. As a mother, I feel very hurt, shotgun my common sense tells me that that is normal,

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

I find that whenever the comparison is made to mothering a child that it's a weird comparison to make because it isn't the same dynamic (at least, not anymore... thankfully). In romantic relationships, two independent people should come together and become interdependent.

@mediokritet 3 года назад

Lisa said it so beautifully.

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

It's about you ATTITUDE LADIES. YOU can be independent but DON'T have a I don't need you attitude. A man already has to fight other guys every day. The LAST thing he wants is to fight YOU too. Don't be his RIVAL. This is why Equality Scares men. Men hear I want to RIVAL you as well. Be independent but without the independent attitude.

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

@The Golden Sphere what does reproduction have to do with anything? A woman CANNOT impregnate herself. That's on the man. He made the baby he should pay for it.

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

@The Golden Sphere or you could just not impregnate her.

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

@The Golden Sphere ???? This is not hard to understand. There are risks to everything. The risks to sex is having unwanted babies. It's to many measures people can take to complain. Condoms vasectomies hesterectomies etc. People are careless about sex and then complain when they have children. Stop being wreckless. Consent means you BOTH are WILLINGLY taking the risk and are responsible for the outcome. It takes 2 to make a baby. Also what about when men rape women?

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

@The Golden Sphere yeah it does. You both know the risks of pregnancy. You both had sex. You both are responsible.

@AmbivalentAlexthymic 3 года назад

@The Golden Sphere first off I'm male. Second my point about rape was a man who rapes a woman cannot complain when he impregnate her and has a baby and goes after him for child support. A man who has consenting sex cannot complain when he impregnate a woman. A drunk driver cannot blame the car or bartender that he drove drunk and hit someone. A woman CANNOT stop impregnation. What are you talking about her body her choice? She literally can't stop sperm from meeting the egg! She can't stop her menstrual cycle either. Once the male ejaculate it's game over 9/10 she is pregnant. She can't stop that.

@VivienReacts 3 года назад

Yes, most of the time, life makes women to be independent, they have no choice, but in relationship, women just need to realize, that it's important for a man to feel like he's the man, the captain, let him be the man, support him and let him taking care of us, and tell him what you can bring to the table too ☺️ If you're too independent, you don't let other people enter your space of independence, then you don't belong in a relationship or you just need a man who can accept your independence...

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

Two independent adults should come together to be interdependent thrive their wants and desires, not needs. Men need to evolve and quit resting their egos on women’s subordination/ inadequacy (needing).

@smileymanimal77 3 года назад

You have such a beautiful relationship ❤

@ligaskaba3910 3 года назад

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey and interdependence, guys. I'm neither the best example of this ("because they are stupid and can't get things done right"), neither preaching. But it helps to recognize and ask for help in tiny steps instead of being arrogant know-it-all

@shannond3351 Год назад

I was recently mocked for having the word independent in my dating profile and told it was not what a man is looking for. The feeling needed is the default excuse by this “Alpha Male “was part of the reasoning but he also said the word independent leads to having options ? I see co-dependent red flags here. Why is the term independent so intimidating?

@joelrodriguez2152 Год назад

because independent woman show there masculinaty tendecies n man wants to be with a femine woman n also independent woman become boss babe n then she throw the whole thing i make more money then you she is better then you n for me its not the type of woman i want to be in a relationship

@AAPAI_24 Год назад

It’s because these men’s sense of worth is very limited and easily threatened. The feel that ‘independent’ means they as men don’t have a purpose ie: pay for bills and feel that she will have access to other men. Why? Because deep down, they don’t feel men enough. A real man is secure enough to be there for her, regardless of her ‘independence’. A real man will not stay with a codependent woman. These men who say want to be needed are very often the ones that dismiss women’s emotional and physical needs off the bat. In other words: they want a submissive woman.

@AAPAI_24 Год назад

@@joelrodriguez2152is it masculine to pay your bills and feed your kids? Bring it on. What you guys are saying you want is a submissive woman. Not a ‘feminine’ woman. A woman who knows her own mind is a threat to this type of guy because you can’t control her: ie, she can file for divorce and disappear if she is not happy with you. The interesting thing is that oftentimes, when it comes to sex you long to be dominated. Masculinity is a much broader concept than you realise. You should give up feeling so scared of women: we run own own lives these days and we want you to join the party

@raquelt5342 3 года назад

Would love to read the info Tom spoke about in pet names and why we use them, so interesting! Can you list?

@CubanLibertarian 3 года назад

Universally true vs generally true.

@NickiTedesco 2 года назад

I love your videos so much!

@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад

I Love your vulnerability guys!! 👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽😃🌈💗

@dg88980 3 года назад

I wanna hear Tom talk about the Daddy thing!

@varshitakamal4301 2 года назад

N when u start depending on them... they leave

@youkasiia Год назад

Lika always, the meeting with WONDERFUL BOTH OF YOU was nutrition, openminded, and INTERESTING> I wanted to watch a little, and I watczed the whole thing. THANK YOU > It is difficult NOT TO FEEL LOVE AND ADMIRATION 4 BOTH OF YOU

@HWBIparaguay 3 года назад

Brilliant!

@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад

I remember that film! X

@skullteria 3 года назад

I somehow have a little voice in my head that is going like "oh does guys rlly pretencious and will on their faces with their relationship cuz they r lying to themself". I don't know why I would think that... and it's rlly just a gut feeling... I guess it's insecurity idk... Well I wish u guys the opposite but I can't change the vibes Im getting.

@kasiakrokowska623 3 года назад

What's this article that Tom mentions ?

@blazingbird4366 3 года назад

I guess I'm the only one that heard how self centered he sounded in the beginning talking about himself being better than her in everything 🙄

@mothgirlx6707 Год назад

Sounds like they just haven’t found the right guy for them, if their attitude is wanting women who need them, that’s not much for a relationship when two humans have tonnes more attributes that can complement and makes each others’ lives more rich.

@amc3964 4 месяца назад

All women are independent.

@travislivingston378 3 года назад

Yes indipendent more attractive

@dia_na369 3 года назад

I need to hear this lol!

@johnccc27 4 дня назад

Dont be fooled no man wants an independent woman, to be clear a job doesnt make a woman independent it makes her employed. So men will tolerate an independent woman when they dont see other options because we are all wired to want a partner. This doesnt last because that is when a man has just become what i call a "Yes man" the male partner of this discussion seems to be one in my opinion and problem with yes men are the are afraid to be honest and set boundaries which requires telling a woman no. The men who generally end up with these independent women are more feminine and need there partners a little too much but not always. The problem with independent women isnt a job, its she lost her feminine side and usually is more masculine. No man wants this unless he is feminine himself.

@paula-elizabeth 3 года назад

You’re sooo funny Lisa!! 😆😂🐶🌈

@nobodyanonymous2437 2 года назад

Leave men alone Date women They will understand you better 👭👍

@joelrodriguez2152 Год назад

i would never want to be in a relationship with a independent woman i cant find them atractive they very hard to date to me also i feel like they want everything there way n they are controlling seriously is the biggest mistake i would make to date a independent woman honestly the relationship will a nightmare

@wahyuniantonio2938 3 года назад

Hahaha he is trying to challenge me that's why, I should show him who I am as someone he doesn't know long time ago..

@BeingAndHappenings 2 года назад

💛💚💛💚

@ashekhinahpt1197 3 года назад

Well... whenever I find myself sharing the load it turns into shit butt city. And thats my experinece thus far. Its great some people can have this. But nope, not me.

@lazznotjustauniformanalyst65 3 года назад

Old patriarchy, not modern patriarchy. Patriarchy as a whole isn't evil and tyrannical due to benefits of technology and strutures by men. Independence shows I don't need you, this modern feminist approach is a staying single lonely and successful endgame mode which women involuntarily corner themselselves. Sorry your wife is feminist siding and refused to share the blame of the woman and the man 50-50. The man's to blame 100%, WTF. the woman in the story needs cognitive pschology sessions on sharing specifically, independence is at times against sharing and depending on a man or woman from time to time. I can only comment on the woman story because the mans story wasn't stated by the man. I'm not a professor.

@bennyandersson7770 2 года назад

Independence is a grayzone. A women and a man has to need each other to work out. Sterotypical example: The woman needs the man to build the home. The man needs the woman to decorate the home. This is healthy. If any one of the two wants to do both tasks. That's an unhealthy situation where you send the other person into selfdoubt.

@Heyu7her3 Год назад

Since when in this age do men build the house piece by piece themselves?

@zoedixon5274 3 года назад

He has not had successful relationships if he is single. If they were successful he’d still be with those people/person

@apollofateh324 3 месяца назад

Not necessarily. People can grow in different directions, and find out they aren't going the same way anymore. Someone could have died. Values and personal beliefs change. Longevity doesn't necessarily correlate to happiness, so why would it correlate to "success"? You could have a 30 year marriage and be miserable. You could also have 3 years with someone, it could be perfect, and then one of them wants to get into a demanding career and the other one wants to move to a foreign country. Compatibility and growth is a thing, relationships don't always end because they went badly. Sometimes they go great, and it's just time to move on.

@kameithon1752 Месяц назад

Single mom and independent hahahaha... Big turn off..

@Username74-b8h 3 года назад

When you look at another angle on the "men need women to need them" situation, it actually says that a man loves to see his woman suffering in order for him to come around and get validation that he's good! As simple as that! So insecure, selfish, and loves to see his people suffer! That's how I look at it!

@apollofateh324 3 месяца назад

Try a different approach: "contribution" is a core human need. Everyone wants to feel valued and like they're contributing to something that's valuable to them. If you see a starving dog, are you happy because it's starving and now you get to "prove" yourself, or are you upset about it because you have empathy and don't want it to be in pain? Few people want to actively knock other people down just to feel like the hero, just as few people want to see an abused animal. But a big message people (especially men) have been getting recently is that they are toxic and not needed by default if being born male, which is not how anyone wants to feel. Think of how its feels to be told that you're not wanted and not good enough/worse by default because of being born female. That's the same message men have been getting. It's understandable given the historical context why women would not want a man's help, because it's viewed as a power dynamic, but the vast majority of the time in modern society, it's actually not. It's an attempt to connect with you, to have empathy, to feel like they can make you happy and make your life easier. It gives people a sense of pride, love, usefulness, and belonging to feel like they can connect with you, and that they are valued and have a place in your life. It's not about making yourself seem weaker so a dude can feel stronger, it's about letting people express love in the ways that they can. If you'd rather it come in a different way, then tell them/ask for something different. But if you don't need/want a man for anything, what is the point of a relationship? If he didn't need/want you, why would he attempt to show you that he cares? If you think that every time a man tries to do something for you he's secretly trying to screw you over, you are literally going to reject every dude that shows you any kind of love/affection. So then, what kind of men will you be left with, if you reject all the ones that actually cared?