If you want a stay at home wife, you have to make stay at home money. 💰#stayathomewife #relationships #relationshipcoach #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips
@@SaturatedCat dumb answer, because obviously that's not what she's talking about. In your example, is not that he doesn't want to do it, rather that HE CAN'T. He's not pushing things over her just because he feels superior or whatever.
I’m a stay at home wife. My husband is as traditional as it gets and I’m grateful for this every single day. He thanks me and says he’s proud of me for what I do around the home and how present I am for our children. I thanked HIM for making all of that possible.
You’re not a stay at home wife, you’re a stay at home MOM. Huge difference there! Moms are CONSTANTLY cleaning messes, always cooking breakfast lunch and dinner, doing all the routine housework like laundry & dishes, changing diapers/potty training, being a teacher for their kids, etc etc. Stay at home wives are (almost always) just lazy women who want to sit on their butt all day. It doesn’t take all day to do laundry, dishes, and cooking for 2 adults. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude. You’re just not giving yourself the credit u deserve!
@@kayleigh3648 I’m a wife too though. You’re being really shitty towards women you don’t even know. I was a stay at home wife before I became a mom. I was never the type of woman you’re talking about! Maybe you need better friends? I don’t want any credit for doing normal things that every parent should be doing. I don’t need a medal or recognition for that.
@@kayleigh3648 I’m a wife too. And I was a stay at home wife before being a stay at home mom. So I don’t appreciate your little assumption that we’re lazy just because no kids are in the mix yet. Now that I AM a mom, I don’t need the type of recognition you’re talking about just for doing _normal_ things that every parent should be doing. I don’t care about that.
Happy for you, but this only works with an honest decent human being .. many women have had a sweet life like this for a long time and when they weren’t happy anymore, maybe they had hopes and dreams, and are not supported, they don’t know where the money is, whose name it’s in nothing.. if he creates an account, besides joint account, for you that he regularly puts money into(like an allowance), just for you for your personal expenses (not household) and needs no questions asked, THEN ur talking.. anything else is a fantasy.. cuz too many women realize they are in a gilded prison if their husband does something horrible and they have no kind of financial independence.. they stay because they have no choice.. where is the dignity? These kinds of relationships seem great when things are great.. if the unforeseen happens the woman usually finds out some things
@@kayleigh3648shut you down. That’s why she’s a loved wife and you’re still arguing with every guy you meet about what you will and won’t do. We all know how that ends up… 👵🏻🍷🐈🐈⬛
It’s the still wanting the vacations, SUV’s, streaming services, new devices for all each year (under the two couple income). We literally are happy without any of that garbage worldly junk. So much more important that I am here for my children, being present, and monitor what they ingest in their bodies, eyes, and ears.
Last year I went on a date with a guy telling me "I want you to move in with me, I expect you to cook, clean, wash and iron my clothes and pay the bills while also working full time". I never laughed any harder in my life. The audacity! 🤣 Bare in mind, this guy was getting a high monthly wage compared to mine, he wasn't broke.
Let me guess- he also wanted u to go to the gym to keep your body fit and do ur hair & makeup every single day. I mean, clearly you’d have the time for it right? 😝 I’ve been seeing a lot of men lately who really do expect these things, and it’s so bizarre..
One of my exes was like "can't wait for you to get a job so we can get married and move in together and I'll come home from work and find you in the kitchen making dinner." I was like "you know I'm an architect, right? Well that means if I get a job I'll literally never get home earlier than you, I'm afraid you'll have to make your own dinner" He started and stuttered 😂
The problem I’m seeing these days is that (some) men want both: a woman who works and contributes to bills, but also does a majority of the housework/childcare. It’s an improbable formula.
Then they find one and won't date her cuz she's not a 10 lol. I'm semi retired and would love to contribute and do the housework. But it's crickets out there lol. They're chasing the younger, thinner chicks with 5lbs of makeup and fake everything.
@@jackdar1iipper heres two examples: One of my friends was living on her husbands income and they don't even have kids. As soon as he got home from work i kid you not she started bullying him to make gourmet dog food for her dogs. In another case one of my close friends was working full time with a long commute and almost always had all 3 kids with him even tho his wife stayed at home. One a new baby, one 2 yrs and one 8 yrs old. Thank god eventually they began to even out. Where I'm from it's pretty common to hear women expect men to work full time AND do extra housework even though the woman is doing a lot less of the workload. The women also seem to think that is a fair balance. The whole thing seems warped, blind and entitled. I've not met men who are like this personally but i hear about it online and i won't assume it's not true just because of my own experiences. If we put all the examples and complaints together and look at context, there's too much extra bullshit work and jobs expect too many hours from people. 30 hrs should be full time, and people really desperately need community shared activities & resources so they don't have a bunch of excessive bullshit to manage. Anyway thanks for replying, i hope this gives you something helpful to think about.
@@nuggs9999 no. Lots of first dates. Occasionally a second. Once they realized I wouldn't sleep with them without a ring they split. Had one boyfriend when I was 22, but he left me.
She is correct. If you can’t afford a stay at home wife. Then you either need to make more money. Or pitch in with all the duties at the home and children. You can’t sit on you ass and play games and watch tv if the kitchen isn’t clean or the baby diapers need to be changed when you don’t have the money to have a stay at home wife. Better pitch in.
Waking up at 10 to clean the kitchen then lounge by a pool is not a stay at home wife. It's a parasite. Maids clean the whole house in a few hours. Cooks wakeup ours before the household to prepare the food. A stay at home wife's duties end when her eyes close for the night, unless she has little ones. Yes, the dynamic changes when she's leaving the household to pursue recourses. A man may pickup additional duties besides the home maintenance his wife couldn't do. Coming home from welding for 11 hours to do the laundry and clean the kitchen or pickup after your woman isn't so bad when you're on double income. So long as you're not pouring all of that additional income into the rent or mortgage, adding meal preparation isn't an undue burden.
@@nathanielcowan3971 Maids get paid to clean the whole house and chefs get paid to cook meals and they don't do it 24/7. A SAHW has to do both and more with the risk of being financially abused. So no, she is not a parasite. She is saving YOU more than $500/day so you don't have to hire a maid and private chef. Since she's not getting paid, she gets to make up her own schedule as long as she gets her unpaid job done.
Real SAH moms/wives will know that you still have to wake up at the crack of dawn and it’s not just “cleaning the kitchen,” but dealing with every single aspect of home care and child care, whether you feel it that day or not. The reason it’s more economical for the wife to stay at home is because delegating those tasks out to actual workers would result in a massive expense (hundreds of thousands) ✌🏼🕊️
I work outside and inside the home and the home is way more demanding. I don't know why she thinks she is going to lounge by the pool. I have a pool and it's been like 8 years since I have "lounged by the pool" 😂
The husbands also needs to appreciate this. Else Nxt gen will not want to do it. That's what's happening in my country. Most Husbands typically ask what work do you have at home if they are tired or say they didn't have time . They belittle sahm coz they don't contribute monetarily to home...( not income necessarily but dowry too) There are very few decent men.
She never said stay at home mom, she said stay at home wife. She's also a millionaire. Just because this is your life, doesn't mean it's hers. It sounds like she really doesn't want YOUR life. 😂
"Don't ask me for anything you're not willing to do." It also applies to the question "which one of us will stay at home taking care of our house and family": if you think you're too good for the job or have better dreams to follow, don't expect your wife to think differently.
Seriously. My exhusband was so lazy. Wouldnt lift a finger. Judge everything i did. Said i sucked at being a homemaker. I worked more hours than him and had to keep up with kids and the house. It's such a breath of fresh air living on my own with my kids. My house is always spotless and i cook every day. I have so much more zest for life after i got rid of my parasite of a spouse.
I'm a stay at home wife and it's NOT just cleaning for 30 minutes and then sleeping all day. It's a full time job. Meal planning/preparation, budgeting, appointments, child/pet care, anything unexpected that comes up is on you to handle it, in addition to the domestic side of things. Its 100% taking care of your husband just as much as he takes care of you, except you never get to clock out.
yes! i get the impression she is not "SAHW/M" material--she thinks it's waking up at 10 and cleaning the kitchen, then lounging by the pool. 🤣😂🤣 i think she's better suited to having a career and hiring someone to do the work at home. she just might want to stick to fur babies as well, as real ones tend to get in the way of all that lounging.
@GojosBackHand it would largely depend on how many kids you have, what kind of health you and your partner are in and what geographic location considering traffic, etc. It's actually so much work that women are just opting to get a job instead because at least you can clock out and go get your nails done. 💅
I have been a traditional wife for over 14 years. I do pretty much all of the housework, and have nothing to complain about, because my husband provides for me! You're so right- if i was working outside the home, i definitely would not also do the same job i do at home- i would expect much help! 🔥🔥🔥
In my country, there’s a crisis where many men are demanding a “traditional housewife” that stays home, cooks, cleans and takes care of their future dozen children, but these men are working minimum wage jobs… Not that it’s bad to work in a minimum wage, but staying and taking care of a home and family does require a lot of money.
@@darlingdeb7010no, it does require money. We are assuming at least a couple of kids are involved. One source of income with a minimum wage job and 2 kids is literally poverty.
@@darlingdeb7010 nope even if you strictly budget there's a chance of debt on one person just earning.. There's articles about it that you cannot have a "traditional lifestyle" on average persons money
It depends on what afford it means to some women. Making 60-70k in the backwoods is easily attainable. Making 60-70k in la nyc Chicago atl not so much. Pick a choose a good woman that wants to be with you for you not what you have. And you will both be happy with your roles.
@@tmccloudjr13but for those looking for their wife to be at traditional spouse, if his income is not enough to cover the living expenses and she has to also contribute financially then he can’t expect her to do all the work at home and he has to contribute to the chores, we are speaking about traditional expectations some have of their partners without considering the responsibility they also have in order to get what they want (it applies to any relationship but they are especially referring to “typical traditional heterosexual relationships”)
@@tmccloudjr13if you want me to act as a maid for the rest of my life then you better provide 110% of what i need, im not becoming a slave for the bare minimum bc i might as well be single and find a job
She's no catch. That stay at home money is to no end. She ain't staying in an studio apartment. The man will likely not want a combative manwomen. He will likely leave. Tom Brady Tom Brady Tom Brady
I love that she doesn’t say don’t ask me to do that if I’m working. She says don’t ask me to do anything you won’t do because you’re working. That’s equality.
Honestly this is all she needed to say. This should be added to the golden rule. Treat people how you want to be treated and don’t ask anyone for anything that you’re not willing to do or learn.
Best quote on this subject. And it also applies to the question "which one of is will stay at home taking care of our house and family": if you think you're too good for the job or have better dreams to follow, don't expect your wife to think differently.
So, tell me. Should the man also say the same thing about things broken in the home, from not so difficult to difficult, whatever they may be, that needs fixing?
To an extent. She’s not leaving room for growth in the relationship. She is the type to be dominant role in a relationship so the man and her husband presumably is stay at home while she works for bread. That’s fine if it works for them but it’s rare. I say husband because I think she’s married. I could be wrong.
@anonymousdogg1559 ... No. Not 'to an extent'. She's absolutely right. What kind of growth is she leaving out? Is growth in a relationship when a woman does the whole list and a man does nothing? Or her 75% and he 25%? I think you are either single and looking for the do everything for you person or you are in a relationship and you use the term 'growth' as an equivalent to 'it's my way or the highway.
@@anonymousdogg1559you literally didn’t watch the video. If you want a woman to do traditional woman things you gotta do traditional man things. I’ll cook and clean as long as you’re working to provide for me. Why should I work 40+ hours with you and then still cook and clean?
@@devilmaycry9969 When we both pay 50/50 lets share chores in everything, taking out the trash, doing gardening, fixing broken stuff, cleaning dishes, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, taking kids to bed and helping them with home work. I think it's fair
Thank goodness you brought this up! Truly, investing has changed my perspective on how one can succeed in life; working multiple jobs isn't the optimal way to attain financial freedom and unfortunately, we discover this later in life. Currently earn as much as 10 grand weekly and this has improved my financial life. Great piece!
FOR REAL. I went on a few dates with a guy, he was talking about how he wants a traditional family, for a woman who wants to take care of kids and the house, and i was fully on board. Then he said that he wants me to have a job as well so i can help pay the bills. I said basically what she said in this video and he called me a GOLD DIGGER 😂😂😂
Lmao, he doesn't want a wife but a maid. My ex boyfriend was like this, needless to say I broke up 😂. Like, dude, either earn enough so I can be a stay at home mom or do the chores 😂
My BIL is just as useless. Him and my sis just had their second child, and he told off the 5 months old baby for crying because he was hungry!!!! That baby is the best behaved baby I've seen in my whole life, and I've worked in childcare for 20+ years. Meanwhile, the dad doesn't do ANYTHING around the house
It's not actually a hot take, it's just that men can't get with the program. You can't go 50-50 on bills (as in everyone pitch in 50% of their income) and expect a 90-10 in household and childcare on the women.
@@benjaminjones3099What dead weight? Lmfao, did you forget that for most of history women were oppressed? Guess someone slept off through history class and now shows ignorance.
My mom worked part time, my Dad full time. My Dad never had to cook a single meal once in their marriage, breakfast made, lunch packed, dinner ready for him when he got home. Never once had to do laundry or clean, dishes were promptly cleaned after eating, house vacuumed and mopped every other day, absolutely spotless home with kids, husband and dogs. My dad treated my mom like absolute crap, would insult her all the time, if one thing was off with his food he wouldn’t let it go. I used to literally risk my life to tell my Dad he was a lazy asshole and guess what, my mom would defend him and tell me to stop. Never met a more loyal woman than my Mom, still enrages me sometimes.
@@WhoamiiiiiiiiiiiiYour happiness is important. it’s not “ruining your life” if you’re leaving a man who’s downright abusive like that-in fact, it will only improve your quality of life. It’s very obvious to children when they grow up that their parents are in an unhappy marriage, and one day, when they’re older, they will understand your decision to divorce if they truly love you. Parents who choose to be together for the sake of the children more often than not form a very dysfunctional family, which will only cause problems for your children later down the line rather than two parents who are divorced but co-parent healthily.
@brooke.- you're saving your kids lives not ruining them. they will thank you. I begged my parents to get divorced when I was 11 years old because of how horrible they acted.
Mmm being SAHW is not sleeping till 10 and lounging at the pool...sure we have perks of free time sometimes. But I get up with or before my hubby I make his coffee and breakfast, I do all the house cleaning, all the grocery shopping, balance the finances, homeschool my kiddos, take my kiddos everywhere. My husband recognizes I usually work and am busy more hours than him.
I've had the fortune of being a wife in both spaces snd she is correct. When I worked in my corporate job, my husband and I worked together to maintain our household and take care of our children. Then, once I started staying home with the kids, the chores and child-rearing fell more on me amd my husband worked more, but still helped out whenever he could. I have some friends that do 100 % of both, working and taking care of a household and its heart breaking. It actually makes my husband so mad. He's always saying that men that make their wives do that don't love their wife, because how can you watch her do so much and just sit there selfishly. He believe men like that don't take care of their wife and they are not serving their family. It makes him so mad.
My husband works hard to provide financially while I'm a SAHM to 2 kids on the autism spectrum, oldest also has a lot of medical issues. I homeschool them as well as we don't have local schools that can accommodate our kids. He can come home from a 12 hours shift + commute and will jump right in to help with cooking, doing the dishes, helping our youngest with the shower (sensory issues with water), sweeping the floor, etc. Whenever I protest and tell him you just had a long day at work, please sit and relax, his response is always yeah, and how long was YOUR day? He's the one that constantly tells me, I get to clock out, you don't, it's only fair I do my part when I get home.
If I was working so that my wife could stay at home I would be sad. I would probably be working so hard to cover all the expenses that I wouldn’t see the family as much. So, IDK. Work 12+hour days (not counting commute) and have an immaculate house that I mostly sleep in? A wife and kids that I see infrequently? And the risk of growing apart because I don’t spend enough time with her. Wages haven’t kept pace with inflation for over 30 years. One income is not enough for most households even in lower cost areas. I can’t picture a “traditional” wife because I didn’t have traditional parents. Both worked outside the house. Both worked together to take care of the household and my brother and me. Many communities of color didn’t have the luxury of traditional roles. My dad always helped around the house but he also did all the yard work, home repairs, car maintenance and killed copperheads when he had to work in the crawl space under the house. It is foreign to me that a grown woman would need to lecture grown ass men about doing their share of housework. I was always taught that it’s just stuff you have to do. It’s not a man’s job or a woman’s job. It’s a job. I think not enough people have seen how this can work. If my wife cooks, I do the dishes. We either talk then or she catches up on NPR or social media. I hate looking at dirty dishes. Probably from my single days. It was my kitchen in my apartment. Keep that shit clean. so if I cook I still do the dishes. But she is doing 4-5 dinners a week to my 2-3. So I see it as a wash (no pun intended). My wife tries to stop me. But I tell her, “baby, if a man is doing the dishes….you let him work.”
I am a traditional wife who gets up at 6, to take care of our family. My husband never asks me to help pay bills. I don’t ask him to do anything at home. There’s nothing wrong with this. I would never be able to sleep until 10 am. That’s the day half gone.
Very true..i got my degree and worked in corporate and hated it lol.. so now im a stay at home mom taking my son to toddler story hour and handling the appointments and house care (he handles the finances and i have the ability to make some money on the side selling little baked goods until the kids are in school and i go back to the workforce) but the key is to find that type of man who takes pride in being a man but also isn't threatened if you're working and making money too.. in other words a normal dude with shared values, not some weirdo "alpha male lone wolf leader of the pack" dude.
I bet you're also budgeting to fit into the life style and not complaining and demanding to go out to clubs and restaurants and concerts all the time too. (Well I hope you're not) If you are frugal then I'd argue you're more rare as your husband. Most urbanized women want it all. A city life style with kids and restaurants every weekend and spontaneous designer shopping sprees and a nanny to help out with the kids. Fancy SUV, organic groceries, family trips to Hawaii every year, annual Disneyland passes, designer makeup and 10 new pair of shoes, buying any clothes on demand... just because you're a woman and a man should provide all of her wants? The US median household income is $75k per year yet most women want a $200k lifestyle. That's way more of an issue then men expecting some dishes to be put into a dishwasher.
@@IdealConscienceI think the flaw is thinking most women want that. Or realistically expect that. Sure, we all want that, but expecting it is like expecting to win the lottery when you don't even play.
@@jenniferpearce1052 I'm not wrong and you proved it. You say I'm flawed thinking that most women want or expect the absurd high end lifestyle that isn't feasible to the median household income... and then admit that you all (women) want it like that to win the lottery without having to pay. You can't make up the cognitive dissonance in modern women. It's astounding.
As a man, I didn't know until recently that so many men didn't understand this. None of it be a big hassle either. Aye Bae, I got trash, you get laundry, I'll clean the bathroom, you get the kitchen. I got dinner tonight, you cook on Wednesday. If you really not feeling it that day, I'll do it all tbh. You better not rush me, but I got it. Now when I really touch money, the only housework I'm doing is taking out trash. It's a partnership. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
If you're both still working demanding jobs then the last part is a hard no. Just because you make more money doesn't mean her job is less work. Now if you make more money and ask her to stay home? Done dealio ❤
Yes! It's the double standard that women don't like. You can't demand that we both contribute 50% financially, but the mental load and home front responsibilities are 90% my responsibility. Times ten if children are involved. Making me a married single mother is some form of abuse. My husband wanted me to always be juggling. Everything was so hard and it was somehow always my fault. I've left him and only now can I see how bad it was. Everything is good without him. Better than good. Everything is easy and the standard tone of our home is laughter. I'm not struggling. People look down on single moms, but it's so much easier to be an effective parent when you don't have a sidekick that undermines you. Leaving him really highlighted how much he was expecting and how little he participated.
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So, never depend on a man financially. It's still important to have your own career, even if you don't earn much. Never trust men if they say they can provide for u. Sure, they can, but as time goes, either he starts disrespecting u for being a freeloader or want u to start working but think you are not working hard enough
This is EXACTLY how it is, don’t even mention children which is a FULL TIME job, so now SHE has TWO full time jobs, how the hell is even right, why can’t people see this or mention this, thanks you for this general public announcement.
Well. Nice of ya to take care of stuff. Are you paying your half of the bills? If you aren't? Then why should he do half of the stuff around the house. If he pays all the bills. You can handle ALL of the stuff that money buys.
@@504cplol thats not what the video is about. She will be happy to stay home, if the guy comes home with enough money to support both of them. If not and both need to work full time, why should she do all the work around the house when they both pay the bills? And even then, even if he pays ALL the bills, at the end of the day, nobody likes a couch potatoe.
@@user-rt5rx4ki2wnah she thinks stay at home mom is just preparing and cooking dinner 1 h work a day. If you are stay at home mum it's full time not a part time hobby. You wake up before husband, make him coffee , breakfast, prepare lunch , prepare his shirts, same with kids, take kids to school and back. While on top of all things that comes up. A lot of women think being a stay home mum is just taking kids to school and back back and spending 7h on tik tok...😂
@@cuzIjustmost men at my workplace are bringing frozen food for lunch . They do their own laundry and wife and children’s laundry. They all have stay at home wives . Many of these men also pick up their children from school in the evenings. I’m am talking about 10-12 men . Don’t know what their wives do at home.
I one hundred percent agree with her. My wife has never had to worry about a bill being paid. She has had complete freedom to do whatever she wants. I don’t ask her to clean the kitchen or do anything except for raise our children. It’s on me to provide for us. That’s the way it supposed to be.
This is exactly what I told my hubby before we got married. If I worked we share the home chores. If I’m not working he should expect to come home to a clean house and dinner ready. Now don’t abuse. Don’t leave your clothes and shoes everywhere for me to put away. No sir. He understood.
My husband and I used to be in the mentality of me still working when we had kids. I cleaned the house while he cooked and did yard work. Now I'm a housewife/sahm who cleans, bakes him fresh sourdough bagels every week and watches our son. I get pampered with the self care I want when I want it because I do the harder part of making this house/family stable. If he wants a happy wife, he makes sure my needs are met because I make sure his are always met.
@@_JustSyd_ then that's just a sad excuse if a man you can't blame her for this if he is too much of a dipshit to not think about a women at home who is willing putting your needs at first making your house a home and you up and leave with any lady you see at work if that kinda men he is does it really matter if she works or not he's gonna do it anyway and the saving part it can happen being a housewife also she can demand money form him for her also he is after all her husband and that gap in resume then there are something one must sacrifice for something I know for some people it's too much but some people likes putting their family first then their Career it's not about being lazy and not going out there labouring about theirs 9 to 5 jobs it's just they like staying at home taking care of their kids and husband their family so what's wrong with it if you gets to choose you want a career then why can't they choose a traditional way of living
@@yoonajungkook6596 That’s not what she saying lol. She’s just advising her to have something of her own financially so that she not screwed if something unexpected ever happens to her man, which does happen a lot by the way.
So true. A lot of men want an independent partner but they want to be taken care of in a traditional way like their moms did. I’m almost 50, had 3 long-term relationships and have been single for almost 4.5 years now. Life is much, much better without a man.
Amen! After 5 years of being cornered into working fulltime and doing all the chores (including mowing and garbage), I divorced him. It's been 43 years of bliss! No more brown bed covers, surprise spending I didn't agree to, arguments over housework, public put downs, threats about if I ever gained weight, etc. None! I own 2 small dogs and a cat. They provide the affection I missed those 5 years.
Thank you. Or wait for this. They want 50 50 but I do more. I be wife doing all hone chores. No. We share that too. If I share my $5k income all of in house hold. Honey do all too. I have no issue
I'm a woman, there was a few months last year where I was the only one working and paying bills. But my girlfriend was taking care of the house. The best feeling was coming home to a clean house and food being cooked and her making me my coffee. It made me realize how much I wanted to take care of her. And I realized if this is the kind of life I want I have to work hard to be able to provide for her.
I’m a woman with a female partner. This year I’ll get pregnant (for health reasons) then she’s going to stay at home with the kids because financially that makes sense. She’s great at domestic stuff too and she enjoys it more whereas I like working. It’s a great feeling and I’m super grateful to have this in my life. But… I worked hard for it, and none of it came easy.
Based...and true.. When my wife and I had children..we have 4..she stayed home with the kids..and take em to school and all that.. I make enough money for my wife not to work... She's the best cook... awesome patient mother...house is always immaculate.. She has dinner ready for me.. She's my life..her job is priceless...and she raised well adjusted children...
For those thinking she’s belittling moms, she said stay at home wives not stay at home moms. We all know adding kids to the equation makes things much more challenging. And the point she’s making is that if a woman works outside the home she shouldn’t be doing more work inside the home than her husband does.
It seems she is belittling men and making a traditional husband something it actually isn't. She is essentially saying that if a man wants her to clean the kitchen, she should have an easy life...because he should be making the money to afford her that. Man working means financial needs, not wants, are met. Wife in the Home means domestic needs, not wants, are met. This is the baseline.
She says you cannot have stay at home wifey privileges if men don't make stay at home wifey money--then proceeds to say she should be able to wake up at 10, clean the kitchen and then lay out by the pool till evening. She is making a trad wife something i5 isn't. And most depictions of trad wifey stuff isn't accurate either by those who claim to be. It is a rebound in the other direction of the absurdity of feminism. Both are extremes and unrealistic.
I wake up at the Crack of dawn as a trad wife. I have a demanding job in the home as a trad wife with 10 kids. There is still a give and take going on. It's not a contractual dynamic like a job is. She is literally treating the husband like an employer and she is laying out her "benefits."
Girls, get yourself a man that does chores out of his own free will, without you asking for it. The kinda man that *knows* he lives there too, and never expected you to do ALL of it to begin with. That man will treat you like a human, not a maid or a mom (probably). Then go figure out whatever deal works best for the two of you✨
THIS!! When my husband and I were dating, I told him straight up that I don't do toilets or dishes, but I'm an amazing cook, and I'll happily do everything else: sweep, mop, laundry, dust, bathtubs and skins, ect 😂. He said I had him at "I'm an amazing cook". He piches in with other things when he's home from work without me saying a thing. A good marriage is a beautiful thing ❤
YES! My husband is a morning person and I like to sleep in. He will make the kids breakfast and start laundry before I get up. All these things are done on a regular basis without me asking or making it an expectation.
Easier said than done. How many women actually stay in unhappy marriages. Men don't change after marriage, they just gradually show u their natural laziness. They never change
We don’t have “a lot of money” but we’re blessed, my husband likes me to be around, he actually doesn’t care much about the house and 3 meals a day, I get off east, I do still work pt and rais kids and handle his life, that’s what he needs from a wife, handling day to day things like bills and appointments…. Not a spotless kitchen. I do want to say that I lounge around a lot now but sleeping till 10 is not what most stay at homes do, we have kids to put on the bus, I used to get up at 4 and make my husband eggs, and see him off with a packed lunch, then on to kids and off to school and yes, I could lounge for a while as laundry was in machine and dishwasher ran… but then it was time to cook diner and homework and then pack hubbys lunch for next day… I have it easy! (Now) but it can be a damn hard job and I’m not a deep cleaner nor do I “keep house” very well despite trying. Othere then that I AGREE 100%!!!! Wifey privilege =stay at home $ or go change a diaper amd cook me dinner dude!
And that’s on PERIODT! I have been married for 27 years… when I met my husband he cooked,cleaned, worked and was in college… we married and shared the duties including taking care of our children. He is a wonderful father and I really love how loves and sacrifices for them even now that they are adults. He has never changed and I’m blessed to be with him.
You said what needed to be said. It is time for women not to feel like that HAVE to be a superwoman. We need relaxation, time to de-stress and balance in our life too. Men really out here looking for a mommy for themselves not a wife.
FR. Alot of them will not even scrub those tire tracks and splatters they left; in and on the tiolet bowel. The entitlement for the motherly maid, coined as SAH wife😏
I was the primary breadwinner, but because I worked fewer days of the week (nurse), he expected me to do the bulk of the housework even though I was paying almost all the bills (he paid his car payment, insurance, student loans and bought some groceries. That's it. Always felt he'd have me paying those too if he could get away with it). He's now his mother's problem lol.
My hubby and i both worked, because i still like to be independent and have my own money even after marriage. His work has more flexible hours, so every day after I came home from work, he already made dinner for us. So i will clean the kitchen and tidy up the house, while he do the laundry. All while entertaining our toddler at the same time. 🥰 Find yourself a decent man who knows that marriage is not about having a maid as a wife, it's about companionship ❤
Agreed. Wife and I both work outside the home. Our daughter goes to daycare. When we are home, we are both fully engaged with chores, cleaning, taking care of our daughter, etc. We know what each person prefers to do around the house and we have found our sweet spots.
@Nithinithinith lol. Females who believed the lie they can do and have everything....pursue this lie to the natural conclusion and then get all mad when their men don't meet them halfway. Men didn't fight to meet their women half way. This was a liberation movement of women. Men didn't liberate themselves. Or maybe I missed that Day in history class.
Lady, I am a home maker and I get up at 5am. Make breakfasts, lunch for everyone, clean n cook for next meal, drive my kid around for various activities, be a teacher for all subjects while kid has different subject teachers in school, manage bank n other adult chores as well, socialise (men are forgiven if they forget someone's bday but God forbid a woman forgets...she gets taunted all her life), prep for dinner, make preparations for next day. Oh and also manage any small repairs around the house. I have taught myself basic carpentering as well as plumbing n electrician's work. I would LOVE to sleep till 10. I dont know where you got that from !
@@thereallesliec5232 Then she should not speak on behalf of all home makers. She should stick to the millionaire club members. Thanks for your answer. I dont know the lady in the video. Who is she ?
@prachialdangadi9663 she didn't. She said it was HER hot take. And she said nothing about having kids, just spoke on being a stay at home wife. She is a former Wall Street trader, and her name is Vivian Tu.
Ideally both are splitting cooking and cleaning or specializing-one outside (car maintenance, yard work, exterior repairs, household repairs) and the other inside (laundry, coking, housecleaning). Better yet, just stay single and each keep your own place and meet up when you want to see each other.
@@djlivvy46 They do. Not only that but if you do not cook dinner or wash the dishes every single day nothing really happens unless you seriously neglect it. If you let your house burn down because of unfixed appliance or your wife get assaulted because you just didn't feel like doing something about it that day it has different consequences. It is always so easy to dismiss things you never worry about until something happens.
Yep! When I worked, husband made sure he had his laundry, and our food wasn’t super homemade. Now that I’m home, I do 95% of the laundry and make most of our food homemade. Our work hasn’t always been “even” but it’s always been fair. *Also, there’s always going to be times where each of us has to carry a little more of the load because *life happens,* but when we’re in routine and clicking along, we aim for fair.
Umm what? My parents were traditional married couple. My mom didn’t wake up at 10, did a little cleaning and go “lounge”. She woke up before my dad, got breakfast ready for him and the kids. When everyone leaves for the day, she cooks lunch and dinner (cos Dad comes home to eat lunch), does the laundry, cleans the house. When we come home from school at 3, she does homework with us and feeds us. By the time that’s all done it’s already about 6pm and dad comes home, she prepares and serves dinner and then cleans up. Lol that’s a traditional wife. These females nowadays think being a proper housewife is “lounging” but she’ll demand he make a million dollars a month.
False. Either get up and take kids to school come home and go back to bed, or you're homeschooling and teach them kids to sleep when you do. My kid always slept as long as I did. Never been able to stay home but summers and weekends, weekdays our sleep patterns ate the same
@@AG-nn8lp How can you wake up at 10 if the kids need to leave for school at 8 plus their breakfast and lunch needs to be made for them. Not to mention that SAHMs usually make breakfast and lunch for their husband before work too
My mom got up before dad to fix breakfast and make lunches 6 am not 10. She was the last out of the kitchen too 8PM. 1 job paid for 4 people! Middle class ain't what it use to be.
Thank you. She clearly doesn't know any stay home wives/moms to say they get up at 10 and lounge by the pool. Honestly pissed me off. My sister is a stay home mom and I have done her full routine several times when she and her husband were out of town or something. She has 5 kids, 2 of them are toddlers 🥲. I was up at 6:30am and not done with everything until 10pm.
Well, I’m a stay at home wife. My husband works. We have 6 children. I homeschool them all and I still need his help. Try teaching, cooking 3 meals a day, planing snacks, organizing a routine, cleaning, planning curriculums for different age groups, field trips/play date, grocery shopping, nursing, sports or extra activities for all children. Honey back in the day that was not a one woman’s show. You had grandparents, aunties and others helping out. I can assure you. A traditional man who only works and a woman staying home with no help…is utterly ridiculous. I’m just realizing I’m stressed and overwhelmed and it’s not worth your sanity, get all the help you can because that’s a 24/7 job and no days off. Not to mention children who have special needs. It’s not easy! But worth it for sure❤
Genuinely all the respect to you. I grew up with strong women role models like you. Their children (and grandchildren) are thriving decades later. Tbh I had always hoped I could do the same, but I never met a partner who was interested in such a life, so 🤷♀️ I live the single, childless life and hope my bro will let me help more with the nephews lol.
Serious props to you! If you want to take on all those things, that’s totally cool; you go girl! But I think this clip is actually agreeing with you! She’s talking about how domestic labor is labor, and it DOES take more than one adult… unless you can pay for relief from duties. I think she’s implying more broadly that “ideal” family life comes with a price tag, and men dreaming about building a beautiful big family like yours (and attracting a woman who wants that) need to be aware of the financial aspect. Random single dudes wanting to provide everything for a family need to pay for help for their future wives. So they can sleep in and not feel frazzled and overwhelmed.
It's a lot of work for stay at home moms and not appropriated enough. Men need to help around the house if they both work, it's a team working together. My both parents used to work, but my lazy dad didn't help do dishes, vacuum, absolutely nothing and my mother was upset she was tired and still got home to cook and do chores which wasn't fair. I was also working, but helped cook and clean up as well. Now, i'm a single mom and its a challenge financially and physically exhausting. Just being a mom to my 3 yr old hipper little boy is a full time job, then cook, clean, play with him, im with him 24/7, I have a small online home business and I'm thinking of getting another job because it's just tough. I'll be a lot easier if a man took care of me and ill just focus on the hime, cooking and finances since I enjoy all that and ill just break down the home chores, meal planning for the week makes things easier, but im single so i have deal with it 😢
I think we as women just need to be smart about this. By all means, if your husband is making the amount of money that allows you to stay home with the kids and still live comfortably, then do it. But most people, especially if they want to keep a certain standard, will not be able to afford this nowadays. So most of us will have to make compromises and sacrifices in our relationships. Marry someone who understands this and is willing to do his part. Your partner shouldn't be someone that makes your life harder at the end of the day.
@@YeshuaKingMessiah if you love your kids you will do anything to afford them a beautiful life. That should always be your first priority. There is no reasons whatsoever to stay home with older kids who are in school and after school activities, just because of this idea some men have of a stay at home mum, that's just not realistic. Welcome to the real world.
@@YeshuaKingMessiah You think parents who both work don't love their kids? On what planet? Most couples who both work do so out of financial necessity. Also, having children does not mean a parent (usually the mother) must automatically give up her dreams and career goals.
Make sure you’re getting up in the morning making breakfast taking the kids to school going doing groceries doing the household duties clean cook go do all the errands. Get groceries. Make sure your husband has a hot meal when he gets home and tend to his needs and help the kids with homework while cleaning the rest of the house that’s a housewife got it.
What they're purposefully forgetting is the fact that those "traditional" roles were forced on women by men. That wasn't our choice, we just weren't allowed options. Women had very narrow and poor paying job choices, were restricted in banking, buying/ renting houses, etc. The men created that society because it's what THEY wanted. Now we're finally free to choose what WE want, too. If that's to stay at home with the kids, great, if you can afford a 1 income household. If we want a career and to only do our fair share of the housework, then welcome to the age of equal rights. We are no longer your servants. Like she said, if you want a traditional wife, be able to support that, and find a woman who wants the same thing- but stop trying to force the old fashioned male-centric lifestyle on modern women, as if it's "natural", and we're"unnatural" if we don't want it. It's not natural to force someone into a job as servant based solely on gender, it's selfish and self centered.
Omg!!! ❤ my boyfriend wants a traditional wife (cook, clean, submissive, feminine etc etc). But he wants to go 50:50 dinner date. I told him today not to come visit me because I don’t feel like cooking for you 10pm at night when he pops in for a “cuddle”. I refuse. Update: He wanted to spend some time together. I told him. I am not cooking. He said he would. He put in some effort for the first time in over a year. Cooked steak, bean salad and a bottle of wine. Was nice. I pulled back. He moved forward. But he can’t help himself tho. He brought back the left over meat the next day. I can feel that he loves me but I believe he is just stingy type of a person.
And the point of the matter is submit in every way possible when a man is the breadwinner. Don’t compare anything or try to out hustle the other . It will never be considered a fair fight
See that’s exactly what I tell some of these men out here. Any reasonable person would understand what she’s saying. Some of these men really hate the idea of doing any housework and they actually work less and get paid less. There’s a lot of useless men that want more than they deserve. I see it in the Philippines a lot and it’s not even necessarily with OFWs. I call some of them cousins.
I work 4 am till midday my wife works 8-5. I get the kids from school prepare and start dinner do a hour housework each day to stay on top and when she comes home we finish cooking together then both have a hour to relax. She does house work on Saturdays while I’m and work and Sunday is family day. Routine is the important part of it.
This was my grandparents- they both worked full time but grandma did 100% of childcare and homecare. Their child, my mother ended up pretty messed up and neglected cause there is just physically not enough hours in a day for one person to do it all, not to mention how unfair it was on my grandma, and their child especially.
I’m ALL good w this. That said, if that off-scenario if/when you hear a noise downstairs or we’re out in the streets and people are being aggressive - you better sure as shit maintain this same energy.
She said wake up at 10am and clean the kitchen and lounge by the pool while he makes the bacon. That's how marriage works for you? You sure about that?
100%. A traditional man at least in the us worked and his wife stayed home but she also was able to go out shopping and get her hair and makeup and nails done if she wanted as well as household chores. Where is now a woman stays home and does all those things but can't go out shopping and do everything because the reason she's staying at home is because I don't have enough money to pay for daycare
Yeap despite all the advantages in comparison to old days it suddenly become harder and longer to do even the most basic house chores. They do not build housewives like they used to.
I went to a conference for families with my husband. I suggested the session for dads/fathers and he only would go if I went with him. I missed the part where the speaker suggested that women not stay and my husband didnt tell me when I came back from the bathroom. An excellent seasion which included how he left his wife temporarily and all the issues that went with that... but the part that also helped me was when he said..."to all the men in the room who come home and declare themselves to be "King of their Castle"...never forget that Kings never marry scullary maids. If you want to be treated like a King, make sure your wife is the Queen of your Castle.".
😂😂😂 periodt!!! Damn I meal prep breakfast lunch and dinner, I clean and do laundry. My husband washes dishes while im cooking, does the car maintenance, and does all the same chores i do. We take life together as a team im blessed to have such a strong loving man as my husband ❤
