Best revenge on a narcissistic mother is to go out and live your best life. Do everything that she told you not to do and held you back from. Be your true authentic self and don't care what your narcissistic mother thinks or how she feels about it. Put yourself first and above her always.
Absolutely! It's so important to prioritize your own happiness and live your life on your own terms. Don't let anyone hold you back from being your authentic self.
Mine wanted me to get a phd before getting married. I don’t even LIKE school! She just wanted me to do that so she could brag about it. She is obsessed with status. Now I’m a stay at home mom and have my own business. I stopped at my bachelors. Excellent advice ❤❤❤
Well, obviously - but not being able to do so on account of the crippling effects of their abuse is the problem. It's not a failure of motivation or a "bad attitude" or laziness that gets in the way. Maybe you mean well with this comment, but it's shaming, and kind of grandiose.
My narcissistic mother’s own psychiatrist was so worried about what she might be doing to me that he called me in his office, I was 14 years old. He explained my mother’s behavior to me and told me to distance myself from her. I truly believe that man saved my sanity.
My narcissistic mother lost custody of my siblings and me when we were 10, 11 and 13 years old. She had bi-weekly visitation rights what she lost after the third visitation weekend. She just abused us too much!
Setting boundaries with a narcissistic mother is like setting boundaries with the devil. The more you convince yourself there is a middle ground, the more you fall into the abyss. After 45 years of psychological abuse, I’m no contact - with no regrets.
There is no other options but no contact w these creatures. They will never change or stop. Their narcissism will not allow them to be or do anything but how they are, and that is to lack empathy and gain whatever kind of fuel (emotional reaction) good or bad from their source of supply. Good on you for escaping! I'm right there w you.
I feel your pain. That was my siblings' and I first bull. Narcissist parents will make your life a living HELL. Love yourself and remember that you have value as a person. It is not your fault even though the narcissist wants you to believe that. My brother and sister, I have to unwind from dealing with a narcissist mother.
I hear that My mom put all her problems on her kids and was emotionally immature Never helped us, didn't care if we were coming or going, a lot of garbage I have no room to list. Then after grandkids became some other person entirely It takes a long time to heal She was awful I was raising myself at 14, had to get a job at 16 and I managed to get great grades I had so much stress and no real teenage years I was paying bills for us I was so afraid to be homeless or have no heating and food. Then when I wanted to go to college I had to pay for that too. No guidance no help no care I just had so much damage from this took me 45 years to figure it out She was married 3 times we moved all the time. I enjoy life and take of myself always now. I found a lot peace now at almost 54
One of the hardest things to accept is the fact that your mother does not want good things for you. She enjoys seeing your pain and failure, and will actually facilitate it. I will always wonder what it's like to have a mother who actually loves me instead of hates me...Especially when I am the one who does the most for her. 😢
Oh I feel Your Pain ! Every Word You said I can completely Relate to ! They are Possessed By Demons 👺My Heart Cry’s for You ! May God Bless and keep You Safe 🙏❣️
@@annehaverhals1750 Wow 😯 exactly how My life is with My Demonic Mother 👺I hurt deeply for You ! It’s beyond belief , they are possessed by Demons ! They have no Soul! God Bless and be with You 🙏❤️
The Narc MoMster out live their victims far to often even when they drive their children into suicide (which does run in the children of both family blood lines).
You nailed it! My mother-in-law was the queen narcissist by a wide margin. My wife is the oldest of three and then had 3 step siblings. My mother-in-law actually was evil. My wife and I have seven children together in the first 11 years. Her mother hated the fact that my wife turned our to be aan amazing wife and mother. That she couldn't be controlled by her mother, no matter how hard she tried. She hated the fact that my wife had all seven births naturally. Then, whenbshe had the last three at home with midwives, he drove her crazy. Then my wife and I chose to home school them all up to the 7th grade. Well, my wife did the most amazing job, and when they entered public school, their teachers raved about them. Then, as our older 3 reached their teen HS years, she tried turning them against us with lies and deceitful intentions. That we were holding them back from so much. Unfortunately, she went to a level that as each of the three oldest became 18, they moved out. Her younger sister was part of the scheme and a mirror image of their mother. Those two also were jealous of my wife's to a point of hatred. That she had such stability, strength, class and even her beauty. I married my wife when she was 21 and 110 lbs. After each birth she went right back to 110 lbs. Today at 60 she looks much younger than her age, is 110 lbs, and can still wear a bikini and look stunning. Two of the three had disconnected with not only us but their siblings too. Which started even while still living with us. The third overall stayed away until he hit bottom with his wife and our grandson 3 at the time. They came and left 3 times. After his last departure in 2016 we haven't seen our grandson since. That is the sadest part. No we understand they split up and divorced recently. The 3 have still chose to have no contact with even their 4 youngest brothers and sister. No for the great news. My wife and I are having a wonderful time with our youngest four. Two are married and doing amazing with amazing spouses. Our youngest daughter who was our 5th child and is 32, has our youngest grandson turning 1 next month and planning for their second. Her husband is amazing as a husband, a father, and a man! My daughter is an executive and my son-in-law is a college professor. Our other married son and his amazing wife both are 33 and 34 just bought their first home. Brand new and very large 5 bedroom, as the are planning to have at least two children. They too are doing amazing career wise! Than our son who is our 6th child at 30, has been working for me for 10 years now and is getting married in July, to a beautiful young lady. So excited for them and our growing family. Our youngest whonis our son is the favorite of his 3 older siblings. He is amazing, loves his family, respectful, and so much more to come for him. These four are so grateful for what we all have together. Its priceless. It's a relief that my mother-in-law passed away in 2013. She has no more influences and can cause no further destruction. We never give up hope, or stop praying for the 3 oldest. That they will one day all come back to our family. My wife and I are happier at 40 years of marriage. Very grateful for the 4 children and 1 grandchildren we have to see and love. We are also grateful for the opportunity and business ventures we have, that have given us a significant net worth today. That increase in started rapidly just after we heard her mother passed, which was 10 years after she started her evil scheme. All I can say is if you have a narcissistic person close to you, and effecting your life, try and distance yourself. We know firsthand the destruction they can inflict!!!
Had a covert narcissist mother until she passed away in 2010. Took me about 10 years after her death to finally see that. Having a covert narcissist mother is like trying to please the devil himself. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. And extremely traumatizing.
Trying to please the devil himself-that explains how I involuntarily pleased my narcissistic mother. She feels she has to be right all the time & she often criticizes me if I’m failing in any way. We all fail & that’s human nature, but not to my mom who counts human nature unto herself to fail & the hell with me. She treats my brother like the golden child & me like a sacrificial lamb. I just wish she’d die soon so I can get over her. And I’m very sorry about your loss, often narcissistic abuse ruminates past the point of the death of a parent. And what makes my situation worse is that I’m high functioning autistic & can’t get a job because employers don’t see my talent the way they should. I’m college educated & still live with my parents at age 42. They treat me like a child & my brother like a grown adult & that’s just not fair.
Living with a narcissistic mother and not being able to move out yet will drive you insane. But understanding their tactics makes it easier to deal with
I will be 39 in a few days and I'm at home with my nar mother. I'm am INFJ(very sensitive personality type) and between her and my step dad tormenting me I had developed congestive heart failure by the age of 19. I'm so grateful this life isn't all that there is. Thank you for the video sir. It was very informative and eye opening. Made me sad too but I can work on myself so thank God for that!!!❤
Same here. Good old mom left a vile message on my voice mail, telling me that she didn't want to have anything more to do with me. Ok. Easy. Wish granted. I changed my phone number and stopped all communication. Of course, she plays the victim about how selfish I am because I don't send her Birthday cards or Christmas cards- at least this is what her sister tells me , she has been saying. Recently, I moved 2500 miles away without providing a forwarding address. Life has been wonderful.
@@Onemoretime-qu6sf I am so very happy for You 🥳I did the same to get away from My Vile and Evil Mumster 👺I’m 64 and She’s 86 , and more Evil than ever , I’ve went no contact and I’ve never been so happy ! Life is Wonderful without Her in it ! I feel Your pain ! Good luck 🍀 and God Bless You 🙏❣️
@@bsdude010 yes I went no contact from everyone...it wasn't easy but I was sick of being everyone's punching bag. I was sick of having my grandkids yanked away from me by my daughter. I was good enough to pay her bills but not good enough to see her kids regularly. I came from a toxic family and then my kids were also toxic. It was me or them and I chose myself.
@@cbs577 you just stop reaching out. You block their phone numbers and emails. I moved several states away to get free of the toxicity and they have no idea where I am.
Honestly, I don’t think my NPD mother lacks empathy. Worse, she gets joy from gaslighting and effing with you until you just snap. Then giggles in joy as she says, “Ohhhh; I hit a nerve, didn’t I. You’re so sensitive.” No contact is the only way to survive these people.
uggh my mom loves it when she lies to me and get irritated. If I am on a roll and tell her all her faults and call her a hypocrite she starts with her dizzy spell and faint heart and plays victim. it is disgusting.
I was the scapegoat. 1st time she kicked me out of the house, I was 14, only had the clothes on my back, had no money and it was 9pm at night. She didn't care where I slept or if I was safe. She didn't care if I had food to eat. The day after she kicked me out, she disconnected my phone. Talk about a punch to the gut. Why did she kick me out? Because I was out late with my friends. Coming home at 8:45pm was considered very late for her. Why was I out with friends? Because I dreaded being home. Usually, her verbal, emotional and physical abuse made me feel too shitty to socialize with friends. But anything was better than being at home with her. She says she had a shitty childhood and life was hard for her growing up. But why did she have to ruin my childhood as well.
I did the same thing, but I would stay out all night, the dread just got worse and worse as the minutes went by, and I didn’t want to face the abuse. There was already going to be abuse if I was 15 minutes late. I was so scared of her, and still am to this day.
Oh you and I can relate! My mother kicked me out multiple times from 13 to the final boot at 16. She also said the same thing. She didn’t care about my safety as well. Why? I had a high school boyfriend who was nice and a safe person. She also said because she left home at 16, I need to experience the same thing.
My mother was disappointed when I recovered from a life-threatening illness. She didn't even pretend to be happy. I think that's when I knew there was no help for her.
My narc parents left me Completely alone with terminal COVID. They were so pissed when it became appearant I'd survived it, my father quadrupled his efforts to destroy my support system and undermine my confidence SO HARD, that I couldn't ignore what a jack-ass he is!! These guys are creepy!!
Wow! I am recovering from an illness too and she had gone with me to my appointments as I was in pain. Well now I am getting back my strength and someone bought me fruits for me to juice. You would think she would be happy? Nope, she was mad someone bought me a lot of fruits that it turned into a whole drama! Now today, after months I have the energy to clean. Yes, theres a bit of a mess because I am organizing the closet. Guess what? She's mad and is loudly saying passive aggressive statements so that I can hear it. But when she cleans and makes a mess, thats okay!
They like it when you are sick and yes I do believe my mother would be happy if I died. She would enjoy the party. I gave her details on my final wishes, just in case, and she was having the greatest time imagining the scenario and taking notes.
@@LastMinuteMinistry Please don't allow her that power, she will make it all about her. Get out now and no contact with this witch. I hope you stay strong and healthy so that you can leave and not depend on her for anything. I wish you the best 🙏🏼
My mother did her best to destroy my self worth from a very young age. She criticised every bit of my body (especially during puberty) and told me I was ugly, Satan's child & a mistake. I know now in my 40s that she was jealous of me & loved that my father constantly put me down. It would have killed her if he ever did or said something nice to me. He never did. Not even once. I cut her out years ago. That's why I'm still here.
My mother publicly ridiculed my small breasts, another time she told a stranger that I had the worst skin in our family. Acne. She told me she hates skinny women bodies. They’re unattractive, unfeminine, don’t I agree? I was so angry I wanted to snap yes mom, I hate my body. Fun fact: she was rail thin growing up and had small breasts. That’s why dad was attracted to her- he’s a pedophile, she was underage when he impregnated her: shotgun wedding. The rest of his life she protected his deviance. Her 5 kids, 17 foster kids, tenants of their rental properties.
They’re children in adult bodies. And I find it hard to have sympathy for them because they could actually heal with the right therapist pairing. But they won’t. They think they’re perfect 🙄 everyone else is the problem
Cut all ties. Block them on social media. Don't react to anything they will do to you. Don't fall for hoovering, smear campaigns, false excuses, flying monkeys or enablers doing their service for the narcissist. It's going to be tough for some time.. But the rewards in inner peace makes it worth it.
The silent treatment and gossiping is sooo TRUE that's how my mother behaves and as she gets older more and more people are starting to see through her lies.
My mother is desperate for attention and reactions because I am unconcerned and aloof. She now resorts to singing, slamming doors and talking to herself, saying, “ Oh well what are you gonna do? “. She nearly constantly huffs and puffs, sighs, gets really quiet then laughs loud like a villain. She enjoys being shocking and inflicting pain on me and my dad. What a disaster. We are all elderly and financially dependent on each other. I’m so glad I found your channel tonight. Thank you!
No matter what I achieved, my mother's opening words were always, "It's alright BUT ....." I could bring a straigh A report card home and she'd go through it with a fine tooth comb until she could find some minute detail that she could criticise. I don't ever remember hearing, "Well done" for anything, ever. It turned me into a lifetime over-achiever who self-criticised everything I did. There had to be a flaw because she would have found one.
Me too! She’s 80; still trying her evil tactics! Turning brothers and sisters against me( she tries) she has them so afraid and loves the guilt tripping
Yes! Growing up with a parent along the narcissistic spectrum can be very disorienting. Ultimately, you were raised by wounded children who never had the strength of self to heal their own wounds. Instead they were projected onto you. It's very important to understand that you deserved a healthy parent, just like everyone does, and that underneath all of the confusion and trauma reactions is a healthy sense of self that needs to be fostered . This is a very long, long process but it's worth it. It is no longer an external battle of trying to confront, change or appease your parents. You need to stand up to the dismissive parent you have internalized, which means relearning how to be the loving parent to yourself that you never had, and also your parents likely never had.
The fact that 90% of people born in the 90s in China were living with NPD parents is alarming. I was born in a poor village in China in 1994, and my brother was born in 1995. I realized that my mother was toxic during elementary school. Connecting with my emotions was impossible, criticism was a daily routine, and she commonly called me names like 'slut,' 'ungrateful,' and 'uneducated.'I experienced severe belly aches during my first period, prompting me to go home from school. I'll never forget the shame; she insisted that nobody behaves like this to avoid school. She delighted in demeaning me on any occasion, seeking attention and sympathy. I always knew she was sick because my grandmother loved me unconditionally. My grandmother provided warmth, care, and affection to me until 12. Thanks to God and my grandma, I survived my challenging upbringing with sick parents.
The pain and trauma of having a mother like this never goes away. She is 94 now. I am 64. The narc abuse is ongoing. I have gone no contact a few times now. Setting boundaries makes it worse. She becomes vindictive. After going no contact again five months ago she is now trying to turn my children against with a new smear campaign...elder abuse. When she can't find a legitimate reason to attack me, she makes up lies.
Be strong and stay away from her. I have a mother like this I choose to stay away permanently. My daughter has turned out the same so she is next to walk the line we do not need people like this in our lives.
Please, stop seeing her as your mother, she gave birth to you, but it doesn't means it's a mother. She is your worst enemy, this happened to me. Until I accepted it I started to recover. Narcs parents are the worst experience in life, since they supposed to be the opposite. Wish you recovery and healing, don't give your energy who doesn't deserve it...
I am 54 and just figured out my mom is a narcissist this week. I just knew she was difficult to deal with my whole life and I have tried to avoid her as much as possible, which is what she is currently mad about. I'm not sure if I can continue a relationship with her, and my wife and kids all agree that I'm better off without her. Another video I watched said to mourn the narcissist like they died and get them out of your life because there is no cure for it. I think it is time for that... Thank you for this video - it 100% confirms everything I have been thinking - now I can start figuring out how to heal myself ..
54 is about right. We just can't believe it. Can you distance yourself and not let emotionally impact you? I became disabled and simply couldn't deal with the drama anymore. So I went, no contact.
@@tradslnd9872it is, unfortunately. There is some research that states that personality disorders may improve naturally with aging, but not too much. There is improvement when the person seeks professional help with therapists, but narcisists usually don't do it
I went no contact 6 years ago with the sharks in the tank called my family. My reactions to their triggering me caused high anxiety and inability to think clearly. I refuse to go through it anymore. This holiday is tough as they may soon die and I would love to tell them good-bye. That too, I fear, will fall on deaf ears. Hardest thing to do is "let go".
I'm so sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult experience with your family. It can be really tough to cut ties, but sometimes it's necessary for our own well-being. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
I feel how you feel I would not go in person they will definitely turn it around on you and having you regretting that you reached out and then they'll die and you'll be stuck with that I will mail a letter and be done
I was the hyper empathetic, highly sensitive child with emotional intensity. My mom and brother (older by 2 years) are both covert vulnerable narcissists. I also had a step dad but he was the avoidant enabler. I trauma split by 6 years old (I now actually remember trauma splitting, one moment I thought I was dying from my emotions (I didn’t know what a panic attack was when I was 6 but it didn’t stop me from having them everytime I was triggered into desperate hurt and confusion when I was being abused, I instinctively knew it was wrong of them), at some point during the panic attack I suddenly became emotionally numb and thought to myself “I’m gonna change who I am so they don’t have a reason to hurt me. They’re hurting me because they don’t like how sensitive I am. They don’t like me being honest about my feelings. They don’t like how honest I am about anything. They must be afraid of honesty. I will stop showing my feelings and start telling them what I think they want to hear no matter how uncomfortable it is for me (and it was deeply uncomfortable.” This is a very clear memory of my early childhood. Almost every other memory is fragmented in some way. From there I developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (not diagnosed until 37). I had 5 sleep disorders before my teens. Dropped out of college 3 times (never finished), 25 years of abusive relationships and self medicating, 3 long term stays at mental hospitals (1st at 27 where that alter was diagnosed Borderline), 2 detox centers, and finally trauma treatment at age 37. Now I’m a reclusive cat lady that can’t leave my house unless it’s their grocery store at night when it’s empty, and I hide from the Amazon drivers. If someone knocks on my door without texting that they’re on their way over, I get triggered into a panic attack and become frozen. I can’t say this is a great life but I can say this is the safest I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I also dissociate on and off all day long and have almost no short term memory. My critical thinking works perfectly fine most of the time though. I wish there were more options (that were affordable) for DID and complex ptsd treatment. Isolation definitely isn’t the best option but with a completely fragmented mind and broken sympathetic nervous system, it’s what I need right now.
Wow. I can relate to your story. My story is almost the exact same. I ended up with tardive dyskinesia and now have severe tremors that I can't predict. I was diagnosed with OCD at 16, the Depression, anxiety, and BPD. I am in my late 40s. I am a cat lady, too. I did not realize until my Grandma passed, how bad my Mom was. My story is very long. I am just learning how to deal with this. My step dad was also a narc. He came into my life at 15. Moved in and I ended up in the psych ward 8 months later. Now I had 2 parents that basically gave me the silent treatment. I was a good kid. Straight As all through 8 the grade. But when he moved in OCD, took off and school was so hard that my grades took a nose dive. I also dropped out of college many times. Anyways, so glad to read your comment. not happy that you went through a similar situation. But glad that you shared.💜
Ps. I go to the Grocery store at night too. I can't take crowds. Do Self check out. My nerves are bad, too. Tardive dyskinesia is really hard to deal with. Any stress, makes it worse.
I got TD from an old antidepressant. Basically I was poly drugged. Now I have to stay on meds just to barely function. I was never psychotic. I just wanted to add. That is a misconception. People think Tardive dyskinesia is only from antipsychotics.
My mother passed away last year and she suffered from dementia. She was also a narcissist. Recently I was having a conversation with my brother about her. We agreed about her dementia but we admitted that we could never tell what was her meanness due to dementia as opposed to how she was always mean as long as we can remember. But we agreed that we existed to make her look good and if we were good at something, it was because of her (her thoughts, not ours). If it was something in which we could likely outshine her, she refused to let us do it (ie, she was completely tone deaf so we were only allowed to take music lessons up to a certain point, because G*d forbid we become good at it! )The best thing she did for us, unintentionally, was encourage us to go out of state to university. Funny how we were able to separate emotionally from her set boundaries and become the people we wanted to be.
You've just described my "mother" to a T. I only realised I was the scapegoat when I was 52, last year when my father passed. I got so used to the sly digs, put downs, constant criticism all my life, even at Dad's funeral my makeup was toopale like wtf. She labelled me as "troubled" all my life instead of acknowledging the continued abuse I suffered as a child and teen from people she allowed to abuse me. I got the blame for this and told it was all my fault. I was told children are seen and not heard. I had a breakdown last year and diagnosed complex ptsd, adhd and autism spectrum disorder. She used my father's death to deny me and my sister any items of comfort belonging to Dad and ste made excuses for us not to go to the house. She sent the same texts ie copied and pasted to me and my sister pretending to check on us while my other siblings Sat in her home with Daddy's socks on as comfort the day of the funeral. She hates me to the core and you have just described that deep seated depression and sadness I have all my life from being continually dismissed
It must be a common thing. I think I’m on the autistic spectrum and maybe add too. I’m not diagnosed but I am with major depressive disorder and ptsd and generalized anxiety. I guess never feeling valued as a human can leave one quite depressed!
@@jessicapatton2688 it can have such a profound impact. You spend your whole childhood and adult years in fight or flight it has to have an impact. In women it's harder to diagnose Asd as I know myself I mimicked others and if I went outside of this I was laughed at mocked, lost jobs etc so had to learn social rules by watching how others intereacted. Then ad the options of others being more import than yours (childhood conditioning) can create confusion about yourself as a person. I am so grateful to be able to see this now in my 50s and that the education is out there now x
11:02 I was in my 40s when BPD described my mother. NPD notches it a little closer. Thank you for this revealing podcast and know how much all the comments helped me heal even more. The repeating remedy is RUN and don't look back. That choice was extremely difficult and it saved my life.
Narcissistic mothers cause a heavy amount of damage. This video hits home hard. Radically acceptance is hard but its the first step. You never can change them. Love to those struggling. You can never argue the narcissistic out of them. Thank you for the video
Two things all of us realized by age 10: Mom will always be there to kick us when we're down and she'ls always ready to take credit for our successes when we're up.
Thank you for discussing this topic! I grew up with a narcissistic mother and I always felt like I was the crazy one and there was something wrong with me. I always felt like I wasn't enough and never understood why. It was so confusing. I understand now this is what was going on. I appreciate you bringing clarity to a difficult situation.
It's one thing to understand it, but it's a whole other thing having to feel the sorrow of having your own mother this way. It's like a grief that never ends.
@@rainbowjules Understanding it is the key to freedom, self-respect, and personal growth. The self-pity of having had a mentally ill parent will fade away. I gained a few superpowers from the experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. I can detect attempts at manipulation from MILES away. I was forced to prove my value to myself. So I did, and now no one can take that from me or ever make me doubt it. I learned to walk away from unhealthy relationships, even if it was my own mother. I learned to demand respect and to stand up and fight for myself and for the people and the values I care about. I learned to have compassion for people, even mothers who are incapable of compassion themselves and who inflict intergenerational trauma because of a personality disorder that they didn't choose. The unconditional love you didn't receive from your mother, you now have to give to yourself. When you do that the grief evaporates along with shame, anger and fear. She might have inadvertently given you the Greatest Love of All (to paraphrase Whitney Houston).
I had to sleep over at a friend's house just to see what it was like to have such a normal family dynamic was because my home was nothing but a destruction. I caught on at an early age around 7-8 years old that's when i knew something wasn't right with her then kicked me out at age 11
I knew as a kid something was off about her behavior. I think other women noticed it too and would let me come over and be part of a "normal" family. My mom would get jealous of these other woman and constantly remind me of " I am your mother".
I can’t take anymore. I really can’t. Then when I finally reach my limit I get scolded that I’m going to be sorry when she is gone. - I don’t want my mom gone - I just don’t want to be the whipping boy. I’m sad that I have to step back but it isn’t getting better and never has felt okay. So now I’m completely alone and a people pleaser - super anxious - I have to shut it all done and reboot myself.
With your reboot, are you setting boundaries and deciding what your values are? Also write how you want to be treated or what you will and will not accept
I have done the same with the same realizations, I have pondered that I’m learning to be a responsible and self disciplined man in my 40s alone but I am not a victim!! I’m grateful for the journey today and feel like the kind of bravery needed to make that decision and take action isn’t easily achieved by the masses and will always remain yours to cultivate 😌
Nie daj się 💪 i Trzymaj się mocno ✊. Jej życie jest jej porażką i ona niech z tym żyje , ty powiedz , że nie wyrażasz zgody na przemoc i nagrywaj ją ! Powiedz jej , że jest nagrywana ! I w miarę możliwości zostaw ją w cholerę i zadbaj o swoje życie traktując swoją osobę najlepiej jak potrafisz 🤲❤. Jestem przekonana , że Ci się uda . Pozdrawiam Cię z Polski🍀
Currently in the beginning of my reboot. no contact with every and anybody i feel pressured by......everything that makes me tense or agitated...cut...im studying and just focusing on work...i have my pets...thank God for them....im just staying away from people....
My mother knew I had mental health problems, promised to support my recovery and gaining some stability in my life, instead she picked apart everything down to tracking where i went till I had to go into emergency
My brother was the golden child, while I was the hated one, until my mother adopted my younger sister (who has a mental disorder) and then she became the scapegoat. Poor girl. My brother failed at his job, he had to almost file for bankruptcy, and our mother paid part of his debt. Now mother has 2 scapegoats, and I am spared of her hate because she has nothing to complain about me at the moment. He was really destroyed by her words to him. It was really sad to listen to him saying that he NOW understood how she had treated us all these years
I am 60. My mother is a covert vulnerable narcissist. Its been the most confusing life, and it was always up to me to make her happy. even my poor dad would recruit me to take care of her emotionally. It makes sense now, but its taken all my years and a strong life of self preservation and care to refuse being made to feel unworthy. I have a strong faith and its been God who comforts and strengthens me. Ive been a social worker for years, helping others because i can relate to their sufferings. I dont have the answers, everyone is different, but its videos like this and comments like yours that help so much. ps. going no contact is ok if its gotten too toxic, and like me, it was almost impossible to not react..so no contact it is for now again. This includes my narcissist sister too. i actually feel relieved. Take the time to heal, persue healthy relationships and trust God. xx
Vulnerable? How that comes? Narcs are everything but vulnerable, we, the victims of their schemes are the vulnerable ones, but them. I am sorry to said so, I feel your comment, but there is something called cognitive dissonance, I related to your story it happened to me too, in the process of comforting my narc sadistic evil mother I learned to take others needs as priority instead of mine, after years of therapy and alternative medicine I finally broke the chain, I do not deserve narcs around me, so I push them away if my life, I don't run away, as many suggest to do so when narcs around, I push them away of my life, they are the ones to run not me....do the same please.
Vulnerable covert narcs are a thing. My sister in law had me fooled till the passing of my mother when the mask came off in private and she terrorized me almost to suicide yet no one believed me but her the ‘victim’. They are total manipulators
@@naturalhealingmexicotheir are a couple of different types the obvious one being grandiose and very charismatic. The other is very covert and sometimes called vulnerable and it’s not as obvious to others as the first type. They are insidious and really make you think your crazy because they seem like a victim and everyone else is the oppressor when that’s absolutely not the case.
I believe that the only way to deal with a narcissistic mother is to go full no contact. On paper it sounds easy enough to not engage the toxicity; however, that is not the case in most instances. They know how to push your buttons. They know what it takes to hurt you. They've perfected it. They are monsters. I did not have my own sense of self worth or intrinsic value until i left my mother behind over 10 years ago. Our last argument was so awful that i had to stop myself from smacking her in the face. After that it was full no contact and i became happy, for the first time in my life. She died a few years ago and all i felt was relief beneath the grief (that was undeserved)... I am estranged from my toxic family of origin for going on 20 years, and i have zero intention of ever seeing them again.
My mother was this way, and I am finally getting past some serious mental health issues (depression and no self esteem) that would plague me off and on. I have seen this in public, mothers with children crying with the most unbelievably sad sounds...like a deep pain....those mothers are completely oblivious or sometimes are staring back, emotionless, at their helpless children who are clearly in agony. It is so sad...I pick up on this instantly. Most parents are trying to comfort their kids, and some are like me and comforting while anxious about it...but there really is a difference when parents don't seem to care.
The one term/phrase that screamed out to me and pretty much blocked out everything else in this video is "your needs." When you've been raised by narcissistic parents, you learn (by them, but mostly your mother) your only "needs" are food, water, and air. Anything and everything else are wants and even luxuries. Your narcissistic mother firmly believes she fulfilled her requirements by feeding you and putting the clothes she wants to see you in on your back.
My Narc mother keeps yellling, “you, hate me , you hate me” while being insanely abusive to me. Took me a while to figure out it was pure projection. What seemed like an accusation was really an admission.
Read the book ENGRAVED by Pia Salvato. It's about a narcissistic mother who tried to destroy her entire family. What she did to her children is heartbreaking! 💔
Thanks for the recommendation, but I don't need to read any book about a narcissistic mother. I experienced it for 64 years [she died old]. I could write the book.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother is a special kind of hell. It took me 15 years of therapy to finally heal and be free. I went no contact 10 years ago. When I have bad days and slip back into the dark hole of sorrow and self-doubt, there is one thing that bring me absolute joy: knowing that I will never have to see my mother again.
I have always wondered why my brothers, one older and one 10 years yoinger were golden children and when I was 8 years old, i had to fix my dad s lunch for the work day and my older brothers lunch too. ( it was sandwiches and such) but still a very hard line was drawn in the sand and it was my "job" to make sure the house was clean, and be a mini maid to the house. As funny as this sounds it was really traumatizing as a child. My dad stormed in the living room where I had just sat down to eat cereal and turned on Duck Tales cartoon. He told me "Get up off your lazy ass and help your mother clean the house", I hadn't woken up more than 10 minutes earlier. I was 8, and not a lazy kid. I was just a kid
Boże jakie wspaniałe Dziecko mieli Twoi Rodzice 😳😱🥺!!!. Szkoda tylko , że na to Nie Zaslugiwali 😠😤. To straszne !!!Przytulam Cię do Serca 🤲❤️. Życzę Ci Spełnienia Twoich Marzeń w Twoim Życiu , byś miał w blisko tylko kochających Cię ludzi . Szanuj siebie , dbaj o Siebie i nigdy prze nigdy nie daj się wykorzystywać . Bądź po prostu szczęśliwy 🍀🤲❤️
This is very accurate. My mother does really strange things in order to attempt to get attention from me. Even when I am obviously busy doing something else that I need to do.
I can relate to the narcissist enlisting others. My sister as well as my mothers sister are like brain washed minions to my Mothers control and manipulation. I swear that my mother could tell them I'm raising rattle snakes in the backyard and selling them to circus clowns in Africa and they would believe her without question. It's sad how conditioned they are. I can already see my sister walking up to me and saying in a snippy tone -without even asking me first if what my mother said is true " Mom says your raising snakes in the backyard , YOU Better watch what your doing, those things are dangerous. " And I would be thinking inside " Man, you are sooooo stupid." Its as if they live in a constant state of delusion.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where they chip away at your sense of reality until they convince you your perception is wrong. In the end those who actually manage to stay on the good side of their abuser turn to doing the same to impress them or save their own skins. The latter can be forgiven if they can show this was true and show genuine guilt/sympathy. I was an autistic scapegoat and went through a hell of a childhood. I wasn't the best at reading social ques and was brutally honest. My mother despised me for it and when it was brought up that her physical and mental abuse was getting out on occasion she isolated me from any friends and made me out into a trouble maker at school so no one would interact with me. Boot camps, a psych ward, and military school all because she didn't know what to do with me. I was on several different prescriptions growing up. She was a medical transcriptionist and fancied herself well informed with doctor google. She decided I was bipolar, paranoid, and aggressive. I was mad because I knew how unfair I was treated, She was mad that I could read her like a book, and I was randomly hyper because I needed to stim but I was told I was weird and that my quirky mannerisms would get me in trouble. They often did too over what I still consider the silliest things.
It's baffling how easily the flying monkeys fall into line. Narcissism runs in my family. All the women are narcs. My mom is gone now but my cousin has circled the monkeys so now There are half a dozen in her place. My little family is now outcast from what used to be a large and friendly family for the 50 years before my crazy cousin Karen split it into factions for her agenda of hate. Now it's gone forever.
I just put my 2 and 4 year old to sleep. My precious babies are the most wonderful things in my life. I am so heartbroken reading these comments and seeing how your mothers treated you. I am so sorry. Here, have a mom hug 🫂
I come from a family of 6 long story short, I was the only child who called my moms out on her tactics, and still to this day im am the most hit target! I left at 16 because she knows I see through her ridiculous manipulation and shaming. I am now 52 and my relationship with her since 16 has been long arms width.. very long arms. I keep to subjects of simple and no meaning, like the weather, and a recipe, anything else will end up with her belittling, or manipulation. The sad part of this is, I have always long to have a relationship, or friendship with my mother, and I had to come to terms it’s never gonna happen, she is now 86 years old today. She has along the way tried to turn each of us kids on each other.. it’s been one hell of a road to travel!!
It s painful to read that. I am in a similar position. Check my comment in this video, I am almost 30, but my experience is similar. I wish you the best. If tou managed to find a lifetime partner, please tell me how to differentiate entitlement/pride from a sense of justice, because many of my relationships went to sh*t because of it.
Yes! Yes! Yes! To everything! You must’ve met my mother! Everything you described has been my past life! I’m no contact for 3 years and been more accomplished, feel good and better because I don’t have this voice that’s always telling I’m not going to make it.
The silent treatment is spot on. She has turned everyone in her family against us and she gets mad that we're not close to anyone. Once I was in a bad car accident with my 3 year old. Someone hit us so hard in the back, our tire flew off. I was on my way to go grocery shopping for her. I called her and told her I couldn't go grocery shopping for her. Instead of asking how he grandson is doing her words were, "how could you do this to me. " that was the nail in coffin
It’s interesting enough to know that quite a few people that I’ve met, who had narcissistic parents, were actually some of the most kind & empathetic people. It makes you wonder how they would have been if it wasn’t for the narcs in their life. This is in no way endorsing this despicable behavior, but it is noteworthy.
It's amazing how people can overcome their difficult upbringing and still become kind and empathetic individuals. It's a testament to their strength and resilience.
It's important to find your own path and make your own decisions. Sometimes that means going against the advice of those closest to you. Keep pushing forward and proving yourself!
Through the streaming tears that just seem to fall and fall and fall, I watch this and am suddenly validated. Absolutely love this, absolutely NEEDED to hear this. It's like you have watched my life in a movie and described my own mother. Profound. Absolutely love your content. Please do more videos like this about narcissistic parents. Thank you so much Doc. Much love
My mother has always been so critical of me. From my grades to my looks. Yet when I was met with success, she attributed those successes to how she raised me. I cut her off completely… still going through the healing process. At times I feel like I hate her but I don’t, I love her. Despite this, I can’t have her in my life and that hurts. Wishing you all the best
Moment I finally called my mother out on not feeling safe I got told “it was your job to feel safe here” (how does a child make themselves safe in a not safe place?) and now it’s been a year without a word from her. Once they realize you *see* them they drop you like it’s hot.
You need to go no contact. Once they realize you CAN predict them and you are on to them they will up their game to levels that you will never conceive. They will do illegal things and defraud you. They will leave you for dead when they have the opportunity. Oh, yes...and mine was a Sunday School teacher.
My biological mother is horrendous quite frankly, evil would be an understatement, there is no boundaries as to how far she will go to be as mean as unhumanly possible. What's the lesson there ? As an Intuitive Empath I understood the first time her mask slipped off, modern day I completely ignore her. I completely ignore the entire family in fact because they are all an extention of her ego. As a mature man let me tell you first hand that these demonic individuals never improve either, as you age they become worse! Remember that the quality of your life is in your hands... You decide how it plays out, not your demented family
Story of my life, and I'm still dealing with it at the age of 59. There's no getting away from it either because I'm now her caregiver. ugggg. Lord help me.
As a Christian, and raised in church by my mother, it’s such a struggle wondering is it ok or not to go no contact. You just don’t truly ever know what God thinks about that. But after so many years, and seeing they will never change, but only get worse, you must keep yourself safe, and that means staying away from her. It’s just the way it has to be
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. In other words your parents weren't supposed to be doing that, it's okay to go no contact if they were cruel and abusive.
I knew there was something very wrong with my mother, as I became a teenager I rebelled and we clashed. I felt it was worth it. Unfortunately my oldest child is like her. Although she has passed on many years ago, I have brothers that do not understand and idolise her memory and make excuses for her behaviour. Having read books and put together that being the scapegoat I recieved the worst the narc mum had to offer. My extended family is riddled with it. It is just sad....but I can't go back and pretend.
Been here many times with my mother as she would always exclude me, put my brother and sister against me when I was really young. They too became abusive towards me. At age 17 I lived with other families because of abuse and finally moved out of state at age 19 to another family who the mother is a narcissist 🤦♀️Been on my own and have tried but finally cut ties for several years to no contact from both! I’m now 62 and will not let anyone in my life who creates havoc.
My mother in-law was a narcissistic sociopath. It was all about her. She had to be the center of attention and her daughters couldn’t outshine her so she emotionally abused them. Her daughters were her slaves and an extension of herself. When my wife was eight her red hair was growing beautifully and a nice old lady at church complemented it. She took my wife to a hairdresser and had it cut short like a boy. My wife cried for days. I’m glad the B is six feet under now. She made my wife’s life a living hell.
OMG!!! Never wondered why my hair was kept short like a boy, but my two sisters were allowed to keep their hair the way they wanted. So even that was my mom being narcissistic!!!! I was the scapegoat btw
The claiming credit for the good things you achieve and saying “you’re just like your father” for bad things is a classic. It also contributes to children in adulthood going to great lengths to do everything themselves and not ask for help. It kind of serves to combat the gaslight that you’re unable to do anything good on your own, and the suspicion (that is actually valid) that people often take away any credit you deserve and take credit for work you’ve done. Not asking for help prevents anyone taking all of the credit away from you. Nobody can gaslight you and say they did it. Even though just by being a parent the narcissist will try. There is a flip side to this that is partly where the nurture of narcissism comes from. Alternatively knowing you never get credit for anything you’ve done and it getting stolen from you. Instead of doing everything for yourself you give in and just accept other people always get the credit. So you might as well not bother and instead find people who will do everything for you. This is partly where some of the entitlement those people who have narcissistic parents develop that repeat the narcissistic behaviour of their parents. You get others to do all the work and you claim credit. And so the cycle continues. That way, anything bad that happens, you blame other people for it.
Thank You for this video . As a nurturing mother I don’t understand this but my own mother is a narcissist and my severely mentally ill aunt is too and my mother in law is too . But the main thing is I’m a nurturing mother and my children’s fathers sound too . Survivors of narcissistic abuse are so strong even through many other hurdles alongside on our journey some people stronger than ever with other stuff such as health issues too and work etc…But we do our best and are successful even after attempts of narcissists who tried to destroy our soul . Wishing You and Yours and people in this community love and light 💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
My mother is a violent narcissist. Ive never been good enough in her eyes. Even after overcoming statistics and graduating college in a stem field. She despises me. She has physically abused me until i was too big to bully. So she attacked me mentally and emotionally. When i tried to get away she called the police on me. So when i had my son at 15...... yes 15. With a 25 year old sick man. I traded one hell of another and moved in with him. (I am divorced from this person and have no contact now) it wasnt until i was 20 i started to realize the actuality of the situation i was in. Once i divorced him and reported his abused to the court system i begin self reflecting on my choices. Went into a dark place and attenpted S. This is where my mother left me to die on a bathroom floor for 3 days. It was by sheer luck i survived. After that day i never looked at her the same. I seen her hate when she thought i was dying and it was shocking. I will always love her but i also am very angry with her. I have not hurt myself nor do i want to in over 7 years now. That moment changed my life.
After 52years, I just really realise that the circle of my mom and my 2 sisters is the circle she has created, and no matter how good and oblidged I was to her " requirements", it was never enough. The final let go when my sister accused me that I am eyeing the family inheritance. Eye opener, that since my sad passed away, I am already an orphan. I pray and forgive them, but I set my boundary and limit my contact. Now I understand why God always brought me to study and live in a different city and even now in a different country. Even God protects me when I still didn't understand my mom is a NPD person.
Doctor Fox, you're the best. "Accepting your narcissistic mother is so very hard, hard to do." It really is. Only yesterday my mother told me she hoped I wouldn't be so argumentative anymore. This was a few weeks after I'd called her to let her know that I was having menopausal mood swings and that I was about to see a doctor for some help. I'm 55 and yet she still manages to hurt my heart. But, thanks to people like you, we children of narcissistic parents are learning that we can find ways to survive and thrive. With many thanks, from Yorkshire, England.
Right. Exactly. That is what I had to learn. I just started learning all of this information about 4 years ago. My mother is more covert than overt more often than not. So, I assumed she was a great mom. Because it seemed as though she was always there for me. But in reality, she was the main one hoping for negative things to happen in my life and hoping for the worst. Because she wanted me around for the duration of her life as a form of supply. She is truly a miserable person and want to spread that misery onto myself and my son. Especially on to myself. She does some of the strangest things as an attempt to get my attention.
Ooooooh, those covert narcissists can *really* lay low...like snakes in the grass...just kind of quietly waiting, hissing, and just ready to strike at the moment you make a mistake they can capitalize on. Give me a overt narcissist all day, any day. You can see them coming a mile away. You know what they are. They show everyone what a disaster they are. ...but those covert narcissists...they learn how to cloak themselves so that they *appear* to be truly decent human beings, and they are nothing close to that. These are the people that portray themselves as the pillars of the community...in public...and in the home or car where others can't hear what they say and see what they do, the true momster comes out. It's all about keeping up appearances for these narcissists...in public...and the mother's who are like this are in competition with their children, just waiting for their children to fall, make a mistake, come in 2nd place, or experience a failure, and then they beat you down further, using every little weakness they've ever put into you against you. ...but here is the real kicker... If you try to tell others about this, most people won't believe you...and...if you're a decent human being who has empathy for others, you're almost happy for them that they can't even begin to imagine a "mother" treating her own child like that because it means they grew up with a loving, nurturing mother who treated them like they mattered. I definitely believe what you have posted. You statements align with many similar experiences of other daughters raised by narcissists. A narcissist masquerading as "a mother" wants you to make her look good to others..publicly...and in her own twisted, sadistic mind, she never wants to you to exceed where she perceives herself to be in life because it would be too much of a narcissistic injury for her if one of her children, especially a daughter, surpassed her (and this is HER perception of where she is in the social hierarchy, it's not a hierarchy most of us...with a conscience...perceive). Our mothers are very broken people...irreparably broken...by their own mothers and/or fathers. They try and shed that irreparable brokenness down to us and, if you let them, your own children. Do NOT let her even try to break your children.
Do not ever trust a narc even when it's your own flesh and blood. She's envious, unconscious, lacks empathy and any self awareness. I disengaged and will celebrate when she goes under 💜🙏✝️. Earned accordingly
I had a narcissistic mother and ex-husband.In these people's eyes there is nothing you can do right I hate the presence of toxic people and love to be by myself. My mother unleashed so much hatred on me that she shattered my self-esteem.I was 9 years old when my sister was born. She was everything to her that I could never be .There was no physical abuse but the emotional abuse was absolutely horrible.
I'm 65 years old and my sister (a malignant narcissist) is 69 years old. Our mother died 5 years ago. When I am in public with my sister (which I rarely allow to happen), my older sister puts herself in the place of my mother and loudly barks embarrassing orders to me (e.g., say please, say thank you, excuse yourself). When this happens, I look at her like she is a complete stranger and I never saw her before in my life. At this point, everyone in hearing range looks at my sister like she is nuts. As intellectually superior as my sister thinks she is, I manage to find ways to one-up her, as a way of saving myself from her torment. My sister is so incredibly focused on herself, that she doesn't even notice that I do this.
This is dead on target. I still need to be hyper vigilant at 70 with her at 91 with dementia as she retains her ability to try to love bomb me into staying around to serve her needs at my expense.
I’ve been no constant for 20 years. I moved 2500 miles away from her, to our hometown. I have had no contact with her family here. She still got my unlisted phone number, and left a message that she is getting old and moving in with me in the fall. Guess again Narc. I held no contact. The police will be called if a moving truck shows up at my house ( or any uninvited “guests”) Their need for control never stops. The manipulation never ends, the gaslighting attempts never ever cease!
I was about 12 years old when I realized something was wrong with my mother. I didn’t have a word for her behavior then. I prayed daily to God to please never let me become like her. She wanted me to fail at everything. She would shame me and my sister very often. My brothers were the best thing that ever happened to her and she put them on a pedestal. She told my sister and I, that if it weren’t for her doctor dying we wouldn’t exist. I immigrated to the USA when I was 24, stayed in contact with my siblings and became a successful business owner. I learned from my sister that our mother passed away sometime in 2005 or 2006. My sister hated our mother because the older she got, the worse she got. It’s been a long journey for me to grasp that our mother was evil. I am 70 now and know that she was a narcissist from hell.
I'm broken and depressive I was so scared of my mother. Even when she was 89 and a cabbage in hospital. Her mouth still worked. Her remarks and witches voice cut me to shreds every sentence. Then her eeek screeching laughter at me, after she'd hurt me.
I always knew from a young age that there was something seriously off about my mother. I'd watch her act like the most loving upstanding person, taking compliments from family that she was a good single mother but behind closed doors she was cold, blamed my siblings and I for being born and acted like we were a burden that she had to unfortunately take responsibility for she would tell us this all the time. She was emotionally withdrawn and physically abusive. She saw her children as a way to get admiration from others. She got jealous as I was got older she couldn't stand the thought of men being interested in me as in her mind I was the ugly duckling and she thought she deserved male attention she was always single. My dad left her when we were young so that made her even more bitter and resentful towards my sister and I. I keep contact to a minimum as still till this day she gets weird when I'm in a relationship. She seeths at the thought of me having my own life and mind. I'm more successful in life and it really bothers her. I'm the complete opposite of her and I don't need her and that sends her crazy with jealousy. Its really hard to be a mother when you haven't had a positive loving nurturing one.
Glad that many people are learning about narcissistic abuse and going no contact because we have our lives to live and dont need to carry other people's issues and pain with us!
Absolutely! It's so important to prioritize our own well-being and not let the negative energy of others weigh us down. Keep focusing on your own happiness and growth!
This video makes me cry and envy people with normal mothers and families. Thanks for sharing, for me is imposible to control my fears and pain each time my mother says toxic destructive things to me.
And keep in mind always, ITS NOT ABOUT YOU It's their disorder and they can't help projecting their shame and pain, onto others. Remember: you are strong, you are good, you are your own person and will prevail if you just believe in your worthiness ❤
Never felt so seen. This has been so well researched because you hit every nail and every nerve. Today I had the thought of me having a daughter one day and I broke down. I will love that child will everything I have. I won't give an ounce of attention to her for the rest of my years. I don't care about any changes, I've lost 34yrs already. She needs to change for self. I didn't do the most respectful exit though and I don't care. Foh
This resonates, and hurts. I can reflect as an adult though and realise it is from her own childhood and it isn’t a reflection of my own worth. I’m so grateful I worked on myself growing up and had loving and supportive grandparents. Thank you so much for sharing these points. It’s really helped me piece together my childhood and whole life, and made sense of why I’ve felt so alone and unloved from my mother. I’m now letting her go, and choosing myself.
This was so incredibly helpful and validating. One of the things I’ve struggled with is overthinking and second guessing myself, and this helped me consider why. Thank you so much!
After reading these comments I see I am lucky to have realised the same things as everybody else at 15! I’m 25 now- hopefully by 40 I’ll be able to be healed enough to help this specific childhood trauma group I always saw myself being a kind of Educator maybe in the Arts or Literature but I be dropping bombs on myself in talking with others that seek so I enjoy spelling this stuff out. We will thrive aside! ♥️
My mother @ 62 finally went to therapy over a scandal that happened to her at her local Amvets. The therapist told her she is a narcissist. She quit therapy, but when I was born, she almost died. She stayed in the hospiral 3 more weeks. I had colic. She said she'd just let me cry until I was out of breath or until I finally fell asleep. My problems with attachment began then. I went no contact December 2008, but then married a man that ended up being a narcissist.
After the birth of my first son, the mother of myself said "I'm surprised you survived" when nothing bad even happened during the birth. She also asked the midwife after if they offer surrogate mothers in case I wanted to have another child.
"Any real connection isn't really connection at all." This is the lynchpin of my narcissist parent "relationship." I can't remember her EVER taking time to teach me ANYTHING. It was always about her and her emotional needs. Her trauma was an absent father, a mentally ill mother, the fear during the Great Depression, a brother ( father figure) , missing in action and then in a Nazi prison camp during WW2, She had zero clue how to be a mother.
That's a lot of trauma. Very sorry. Mine is generational. My Mom had an alcoholic father in 1950/60s. Then after she married, my biological father was lost in the line of duty. He was a firefighter. She was only 27 when he passed. Then 2 weeks after he passed, she found out she was pregnant with me. I also have an older sister with mental retardation. So she had family support, but never therapy. She was a clean freak, house always perfect She did find full time work as a secretary. We had a decent relationship until my stepdad moved in at age 15. He was a narcissist. I ended up in psych 9 months later. It's a long story... I wrote a lot of another post. Thank You for sharing.💜
She might not be narcissistic but rather someone who is projecting their own fears that were born through her unhealed trauma. Narcisstic people are people who intentionally desire you harm for their own devious purposes that are never revealed to you (hidden agenda).
