INFJ Doorslams Happen After Repeatedly Making Attempts To Fix the Problem... Or Do They?

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I create videos about #INFJs and the INFJ personality type. INFJs are an MBTI personality type (there are 16 of them), and if you want to learn more about them, my channel is the place to do it. I have more than 800 videos on the subject (here’s the playlist bit.ly/3aIRakt), and you will learn oodles about being an INFJ, INFJs in relationships, INFJs door slam, and more. If you are dating an INFJ, then you can learn more about dating them and being in a relationship with them here as well.
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I’m #BoomShikha and I have been doing videos related to the #INFJPersonalityType since 2016. It’s been quite a journey and now I am slowing down quite a lot. I used to do one video a day, but now I am going to post only once a week, and I am moving all of my thoughts, reflections, videos, courses, and ideas over to the membership site, Soul Vitamins. bit.ly/2MFD1fW
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1 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 21

@lynneleverton8825 4 месяца назад

My door slams happen faster and faster these days. I pick up on undesirable behaviour and get rid asap!

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Yes!

@iloveTool 4 месяца назад

I deal with a lot of takers especially at work. Been dealing with this for years. Being taken advantage of and 1 sided relationships at work. I'm always there for them on the spot and when I rarely ask for help they ignore me, the help is not returned to me. I finally took a stand this year and set boundaries and spoke up for myself. I door slammed a coworker. I think INFJ's need to remember that although it's in our nature to give, we should not be running ourselves into the ground for anyone. WE MATTER TOO

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Yes we do! 😍😍

@user-zm1nw2cb2o 4 месяца назад

Usually when I tell them, they dont like it or do it, so then I door slam.

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Yup that makes sense!

@akshitbansal1924 4 месяца назад

Hi Boom Shikha. Amazing video. I have a personal question tho because i really like your judgement and trust your pov. I am an infj and I like another infj. Although her type is not infjs i think. I know fo sure we'd be a good match. I have moved on from mbti and the 'infj stuff'. Therefore i feel i cannot connect with her again but would really love to. How do i do that? Do I need to look at my past again when i bond with her? Its a bit painful, I dont prefer Also, neither of us are social and we are weak at communicating. She doesnt talk much. How do I get her to open up?

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

I think time heals all. Give her some space and she will reach out on her own. 🤗🤗

@jaytm2574 4 месяца назад

It depends. Usually it's after a chain of 'bad behaviors'. The 'one shot' door slam requires something really, really egregious to have been done. Often by a person I don't know that well, so there's no compelling reason for me to try and keep them in my life.

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Yes!

@Natalielovespurplee 4 месяца назад

Hi Shikha, I hope you are keeping well. Thank you for taking the time out and talking about this. More often than not in my experience with my few close people I have come across people crossing boundaries in the disguise of tough love. I have given multiple chances thinking they probably don't understand exactly whats wrong or how they make me feel? When I explained they did acknowledge and over the years it got worse. In the sense I wouldn't want to tell them any of my life updates and keep a low profile. I wish I did listen to myself and cut them off without any explanation much before rather now. I have now understood that this person was jealous of me, I still don't understand why? She is married and rich, and I'm someone still figuring things out. Sometimes earlier door slams saves your precious time and you second guessing and feeling hurt.

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing! You did the right thing.

@clivevarley2868 3 месяца назад

everything wrong in your yet true homeland will honstly accepted by all 😅

@BoomShikha 3 месяца назад

Good point. :)

@bhangrafan4480 3 месяца назад

Over the years I have to admit I have been guilty of a number of door slams, I recognize this well. I agree that it is after exhausting all options. My door slams are not really aimed at individuals, they are nearly always against organisations, especially employers. When you are employed by an organisation and you are trying your hardest, working round the clock, round the week, trying to do your job well, but the management framework is just determined to stop you. In this case sometimes they just have too much power and control and you can no longer work around them. In these cases I sometimes have had to just walk away and say get on with it without me. If you do not understand what my values are and what I am trying to achieve, then I will work elsewhere.

@BoomShikha 3 месяца назад

Yes, values definitely have to match with your workplace. Otherwise, it's soul sucking. :S

@sojourneroftheland 4 месяца назад

Theyre not mindreaders, we are! Lol. I agree we can be hesitant to tell people what we want. And many times I have thought to myself "how obvious can it be?". But youre totally right most people are either not intuitive, caring, or observant enough to acknowledge what you need. So its your job as an INFJ to verbalize it. This makes it all the more frustrating when we actually do get around to saying what we want or need out of a relationship (friend or otherwise)...and nothing changes. I really think those who get shocked at doorslams might be in the category of either thinking we dont mean what we say, or dont take it seriously. Its not likely an INFJ has told the person they have internally rehearsed this problem at least 20 times in their mind (and have gathered enough data to reinforce why they feel the way they do) by the time they tell the person verbally even once. So how many times have we internally thought about the said problem if we actually tell a person twice or 3 times? This is the disconnect I guess. At best they heard it a few times. At worst they never heard it at all. Throw in the rampant narcissism problem, and we are many times up against a brick wall. If that ends up being the case, it just becomes a matter of whether we feel we need to stay and keep talking to the "wall" or walk away because you realize youre just wasting your time talking to yourself (and were likely in a relationship by yourself anyway). Once you learn about yourself and others I really think this happens less and less. We cut it off before it even begins, or we can find mature people who understand true relationship involves reciprocity.

@BoomShikha 4 месяца назад

Yes that's it. We say it in our heads but not out loud. Then we door slam. I think that's unfair to the other person. 😩😩