INFP: Rumination, Depression, and the Fi-Si Loop 

Glad someone on the internet had the balls to speak out to us INFPs as an INFP himself. This really helped me! Thank you :)

Hi HSP, I want to add my perspective to INFP rumination, anxiety, depression etc. As I realise my INFP personality more and more, I see the huge obstacle of opening my life up (relationships, jobs, opportunities etc). The overwhelming feeling component I’ve used my life as the truth has stopped me from broadening my horizons. It’s like there are thought guards threatening us with negative feelings when considering doing something that could actually make us feel good (for example, you said yourself you don’t feel like calling your parents but If you did you would feel good). My therapist talks about this as the trick that INFP’s fall into. Consequently, we get stuck in the soup of feeling crap from having not done the things that if we overcame the initial negative feelings, would then make us feel better and create motivation. So for me, my journey is to learn to separate myself (conscious awareness) from my programming (INFP etc) and do it anyway with the knowledge that in the end I’m enhancing my wellbeing. It is so hard though as the nature of the ego is to keep you safe through using your INFP nature. Thanks for your videos.

When I’m going to the gym consistently it helps my Ne. Or when I force myself to go to parties I feel happy after . Even though I’m drained .

I'm finally understanding why I was so good at computer programming, but absolutely hated it! I'm really good at thinking of all the ways something could go wrong. So, I could fix those things before they had the opportunity to happen. But, this mindset does not make me feel good. So I'd do it at work, then I'd go home and do it with my life. Exhausting!

I’m an infp and definitely relate to this! Everyone always tells me I’m over thinking things I get paranoid look for a deeper meaning and try to predict the future lol

I pretty much recognized everything you said in this vid. I also read that especially HSP's tend to be too much in their head, analysing and overthinking, because our highly sensitive brain is wired to protect us from the dangerous outside world. But our HSP brains are exaggerating the danger. That is also why most HSP's have more anxiety problems than 'normal' people, as I do myself. We need to get out of our head. What I appreciate most in your vids is your honesty and candour.

Are there any other HSPs that hate horror and violent movies?

Your room - the lights and the Twin Peaks-curtains make my whole being soooo relaxed 😍

Man, is very good to hear from another INFP male talking about rumination. Also saw the Overly EmotionalFemale's video on this subject and just got me very emotional. It's very hard sometimes, but is good to know that we overthinkers are not alone.

I'm an ex-very religious INFP too, and what you say about that at about 1min 50seconds.... oh my gosh!! I say that exact thing! (to anyone who's been interested enough to listen). It seems so "obvious" and yet I've not heard anyone else say it.

Rumination is the worst. Been going through this a LOT lately especially about the future. It's nice to hear someone else talk about it. It's like you forget about about it for a bit then BAM there it is again. It's like you can't run away from it. Stressed about the price of apartments because my lease is up on Christmas eve. I'm so tired of thinking about it.

As an INFP, not only am I aware of the acting, sometimes I've broken the 4th wall by accident- makes for some awkward moments. Thanks for the video.

Man please keep making these videos. You’re helping a lot here. You’re like a god to me now. 🙏

Great video. It was super helpful to see this being said by a fellow INFP. It’s like you share the same experience as me yet it’s a different perspective.

Fellow HSP INFP here! I love your content, your authenticity and your voice! I’m so glad I found your channel. Also, I can totally relate to the rumination/dreamlike state. I have been in a cycle for a while now and it is nice to hear there are many others who have the same experience. Thanks for putting this out there! :)

I love your authenticity!

As an INFP who discovered my type in highschool, I learned lots of behavioral patterns about myself through the descriptions provided by my fellow INFPs pals from the internet! I’m thankful to be a part of such a humble and supportive community.

Didn’t know what this fi si loop was until today. I Can relate to the religious part. I’m 23 and about to live on my own (had a roommate first year after college). The last few months my beliefs have drastically shifted, I was raised heavily Christain beliefs & morals & as an INFP I think we’re more open to stretching those boundaries, being non conformists, creating our own sense of self that many of us (including me) are just now starting to realize in adulthood. I think as kids we obviously don’t know any better or how to think critically of ourselves because we are around superiors that essentially tell us how to think/feel & this is the way things go, this is what you do here etc etc. good video with great insights, keep sharing👍

this is 100% me. I thought I was the only one, you described it perfectly. exactly how I be feeling.. so that's what it's called hope your doing well, thanks for the video, I'm on my journey with this

Whoa! Just aimlessly stumbled across your channel....I was not disappointed! I don’t actually know any INFP males personally so it was such a breath of fresh air to hear your take on things😌So personable and relatable and definitely made me feel validated in a lot of my idiosyncrasies. Cannot wait to scope out the rest of your videos!🤗

OMG I love this! It’s totally me. Spot on. Thinking is my hobby. Thanks for sharing

I have just found your channel and thank you! I relate to what you talk about so much. I am an INFP who ruminates A LOT! This week I have actually spent a lot of time with friends and family and I have actually been feeling so much better in myself. But today I wanted a day to myself but I wish I didn’t because I just spent all day worrying about my career and the future. Thank you for the tips. I am going to try and make an effort to socialise a lot more, even if I don’t really want to.

Man this Info is really important. Thanks bud! You make a difference more Than you know. Remember inspite of everything that has happend you've made it this far for a reason. 🙏🏻

I was actually thinking so deep in suicide these days but found this, it was so good to hear you.

I’m not a fan of thinking as much as I do. I sometimes wish I was naive or absent minded about things.

Thank you for posting this. Really helpful stuff here. I have had the exact same experience (many times) with going out and doing extroverted things with other people--where my first reaction to an invitation is often that I do not want to go. But after making myself go, I am usually very glad that I did go. It's helpful to hear another INFP articulate the same pattern, and to view this pattern in terms of Ne interruption to Fi-Si rumination loops. A neat connection, a constructive path for the INFP. Thanks again!

Wow, just discovered this. One of my favorite pass times is thinking and as an infp I definitely can relate to you. Thank you for giving me more to think about!

Thank you for this important reminder on all fronts. I had a relapse with ME/CFS and then depression after trying to get out more and do too much and ending up putting myself in situations to get taken advantage of (or inadvertently drained) by people because they see me as "a soft touch" and think mostly about themselves and what they need. Then I had the stress breakdown that led to severe depression and really took stock of what is not right in my life. I ended a ten-year friendship with someone who is controlling and flaky and started learning how to say, "No" more. I started listening to my intuition more and cleaned house. Unfortunately, having chronic and relapsing illnesses and being an HSP, I am not sure I really like much of anyone anymore at times.I don't like to deal with pushy people, users, or flakes . Flakes really drain my energy and I live in a small mountain town that is full of them. But you are very right about not isolating. I do believe that too much of it is bad for us if we are not making the best use of our time while being alone and find ourselves in these loops. I finally forced myself out and I did have a good time - even though someone who is a flake aggravated me during the outing. I just have to make sure I am taking my time getting to know people better before I decide if I really want to let them in. Group activities are safe and meetup.com is where I made some great friends when I lived in another place. These can be low-pressure for INFP's and HSP's. You get to be around people but can take your time getting to know them more personally. Also, given the extraverted intuitive function, it helps us to have new experiences, which we can also do on our own. Even going to a coffee shop is full of interaction in some ways, even if you don't talk to anyone. Just being around people can make us feel less sucked into our own worlds.

I crave deep conversation too. It is fun because I don't have to be "right" all the time. I love to learn. Truth is a beautiful thing to me. But...being INFP is difficult, because most people are sensors and the newest toothbrush is a hot topic I prefer to avoid.

Spot On. God Bless Us INFPs!!

This video defiantly hit the nail on the on the head! I never knew the term for rumination until now, but I go through these phase like every 3 months or so secluding myself from everything constantly thinking.

Yes I totally feel everything you said. I’ve literally had to push myself to be around lots of people and keep busy to keep myself from ruminating cause it’s so easy to fall into it. Flexible Routines have literally saved my life. I’m on a sober break from weed and still wading through some trauma so its definitely been difficult so I totally feel you there. Thanks for sharing your world, it always makes me feel less crazy.

Thank you!!! Great information!!!

Wow-this really hits home. Thank you.

I love that I found your channel today! I laugh often listening to you because many of your mind patterns sound so similar to mine! So it feels so good to realize people of similar nature are out there. Thanks again :)

Yes sir. We are definitely seeing everyone else on a different plain. It’s hard to relate to the mundane individuals around us. Yet sometimes we feel like we are missing a twin.

Hi, really related to this, am subscribing. Fellow INFP and Californian, though I live abroad. Thanks for the insights! Hope all's well

Just found your podcast. LOVE IT! I just learned about HSP about a month ago when my brother told me he’s an HSP and recommended I read the book. (It’s on my list, haven’t read it yet.) Thanks for this podcast. I find myself laughing and nodding and shouting YES! exclamations throughout your podcast. I like making silly puns, so I couldn’t resist…When you mentioned how we ruminate like a cow chews its cud, that be called moominating! 🤪 Looking forward to hearing more! Hey, there should be a singles website for HSPs!

Thanks for your wonderful videos. I find them so reassuring. I do think deeply as well and have my own ideas - I am always asking questions and I don't follow others like a sheep. The downside of deep thinking is that I don't think quickly. I get annoyed with myself when I come up with witty and cutting repartee but 15 minutes after I actually need it. : / Please do more videos - I love them! (I'm now wondering if this comment is deep enough.....oh WTF....send!)

I watched this whole video and did not expect the shout out at the end obviously...hahaha, thank you so much.

I don't feel as alone as I felt 30 minutes before watching your video.

I remember reading somewhere that there was actually a theory for why INFPs & INTPs are the two types most prone to true depression, and it had to do with this very same Si loop, but they also mentioned that Ne is the worst extroverted function to use to get out of a loop with because it goes all over the place, deals in the abstract, and it can go into Si mode very quickly (when the Ne mind is thinking all over the place, it often will draw a connection to past events almost instantly). Thus, instead of providing relief from a Fi-Si loop, Ne can in many ways fuel the loop even further, as you spiral deeper & deeper into rumination about not just the past but also negative possibilities.

Im definitely going through this, people have told me that when i am upset and down I live in the past at times, and dwell on things that people did months, even years ago. I would get mad and depressed that someone yelled at me back in 2019, or how someone made fun of me in 2015. I go through the Fi-Si loop whenever something new hasn't happened in a long time. I went through a 2 month Fi-Si loop, doing the same thing, eating the same food, going to work, driving around the same neighborhood, going to the same store, thinking that this is all the best I can get, while ignoring my Ne. My Ne would have said that you should try new food, drive to a new part of town, go to a new store, and get a new job or talk to friends. I've used my Ne again.

I can relate with you so much 😔 thanks for the video 😊

Thank you. This is quite interesting.

Hey friend it’s been awhile. I was stuck in a depression loop for a bit. Looks like your channel has really grown! So happy for you!

I relate so much to this video.My problem is that sometimes I don't find the reason in life and then I start the overthinking. My problem is to find the balance between doing stuff with people and taking time to put out my thoughts in creative energy ( writing poems,drawing,...). And it's important that I don't use bad coping mechanism ( eating unhealthy food + watching movies until I feel soggy and tired) when I then lay in my bed after 5 hours and I think that my life is this useless hell and I'm chained on my bed. What I learned is that often I feel like my mind is a puppy and I always need to call it back when it's running away. When I feel really bad what helps the most is gratitude. Name 5 things around you that are beautiful (example: the sun through the window, my clothes, this pen, ...) and 5 things you are thankful for ( i am not starving , i have a home, nobody in my family is sick right now, ...) I still struggle with seeing the reason of Life and sometimes i forget my worth and certain experience in life made me be really self critical and people pleasing but if I remind myself how lucky I am it's makes it easier. And sometimes my curse is my remedy . If I think about something philosophical and see a logic in it I can form a thought that calms me down (example there always was love, there always is love and there always will be love) . But finding balance is really the key. Think to solve problems not to run in a circle, spend time with people and take time out for yourself (but plan that time carfully nothing worse then when I'm really bored and my mind starts to wander , except if I'm in a very positive mood then I usually get new ideas for writing) , love and help others but never forget your worth & practice self care ,...

🤯 This. It's nice to have a name for it now.

INFP here, I really liked your video! It's all true what you said about rumination and depression. I personally don't struggle to much with going out, but with finding a nice place outside and people with whom I would feel comfortable. For me, sometimes I surprise myself when I go out and end up enjoying it, and others time I have regretted it, but I think that was because of the particular area I'm living in: there just aren't many INPF-like places out there. Apart from a bookstore, perhaps. And all the people: I just don't feel comfortable with everyone.

Yo bro, thank you for doing this video. This rumination thing really is a problem for me, and I didn’t even realise it was until I saw this

INFP here, love your channel. I can relate to your part about the intellectual part and being able to relate to the other person. I am in a relationship with and ISFJ and I'm having a difficult time. I really wish we could relate to each other, but it seems that its a challenge. I am willing to make a go of it as long as we understand what is going on. I am introducing her to the different subjects and ideas but so far she has been not very budging. I really hope your channel can grow as an INFP youtube channel is quite rare.

So helpful!

This is a really important topic for infp's... I actually came on this channel just now thinking oh, i don't think i relate to this guy but now i see at least this is reeally on point for me. What you said about not hanging out with your friends now that you don't have that context of drinking with them anymore, I also I feel I get stuck in only seeing my friends in a very limited context, and I often sort of wish the friendships had a more open quality. It's somehow scary though, to challenge the "status quo" of the friendship, but I think trying that would actually prove who are the friends that you really want to have around. As for rumination, that it absolutely, without question, my autopilot mode. Like you, I need my calendar partly filled with social things that limit the rumination. I mean I guess it's also possible to be open to new opportunities, but that's always harder and I find I need some time to adjust to the idea, or to make sure that its in line with me. If I can't do this adjusting, I often find I can't actually enjoy whatever it is.

Thanks for your advice. I ruminate basically all the time.

Thank you for this talk Sir. I really need to hear it. My mind won't leave me be these days....it's rough really. Even at night I dream. Every night I dream. I usually remember it as a jumple of busy but I often recall it all in vivid detail. Whole different worlds even. I spend a lot of time watching the interactions of the inhabitants, its pretty go with the flow dreams really. Luckily I don't feel pain in dreams like I have heard people can. Then my waking life is always changing it seems. Ive lived so many lives in this one 41year one. Anyhow I'm tired a bit. Thank you for your thoughts on the ruminating. I will try to notice it instead of living the immersion. I want to connect more of course but I've really become such a hermit.

Thank you for this video! As a fellow INFP, being stuck in the loop really sucks. I find that another manifestation of this loop is distrust in others, reluctance to share own insights due to rejection from some people. I think complacency is another huge issue, especially for INFPs that are type 9s (Peacemakers) in the Enneagram system.

I am an INFP and HSP. I thought I am an alian but after watching this video I realized that I am normal. I feel you and understand you. Thank you ❤

bro... everything you say you do...I do. I've been in a bad spot for a couple months, trying to break free. Thanks for the advice!

As an INFP i've been in stuck in a loop for a while now and it helps to know that i'm not alone. I find it really hard to pull myself out of it. I agree that the last thing you want to do when in that mindset is to socialise but it really does help. Could you possibly do a video about how this negative loop can affect your relationships? It's been affecting mine and i'd love to know your thoughts. Thanks for the video, I love your channel :)

My thought stop when i watch movies, series and when i sleep but i don't drink, i don't like drink and i don't express myself even with friends especially when i am sad, i don't express it with someone but with music, watching movies, i express myself with people and friends just when i am angry to complain haha

Great video! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m an INFP and definitely identified with pretty much everything you said. I was intrigued by your mention of coming out of a fundamentalist Christian background and wondered if you’ve gone into greater depth with this aspect of your journey in other videos. My story has been similar although I haven’t fully discarded my faith paradigm, despite being intentional about listening to intelligent, reasonable critics of Christianity in order to expose myself to logical fallacies or other deal-breaking inconsistencies within the ideology. People like Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson’s debate series is one such example. I wondered if you would either talk more about that although I understand it is probably quite personal and not necessarily applicable to other people. Or if you had any influences that helped you clarify your thinking on this topic and come to your own conclusions. Just a question I had. No problem if you prefer not to share publicly on this topic. Again, thanks for sharing this video.

So true.

Your seriously my man twin

I am the 222nd Comment, Chances are if YOU are an INFP, Your are Spiritual. Let’s get it Boys, I’m going in Guys, With Heavy Baggage, Depression and other Shit, But I’m going in and I’m going to Elevate and Grow. 😂👍🏾❤️‍🔥🙏🏾💪🏾

I relate to this so much

Yeah, my rumination is bent towards the future, resulting in nocturnal panic attacks. The looping led to constant anxiety, which was relieved by addiction to overeating (sweets) which also raised my serotonin temporarily but additionally reduced my serotonin receptors, this increasing the anxiety...

In the same boat sober five months keep getting stuck in the loop but trying to be active and music helps

I had made research about the Default Mode Network, and I think I can compare it to the ruminating/depression part of the Fi-Si loop. One of the most recommended solutions to lowering the activity of it is by doing meditation, which really sticks to the ‘feeling shameful about the past and anxious about the future.’ There is also a certain drug I don’t remember the name of that can completely shut down the activity of the Default Mode Network, but that mostly ends up in the patient feeling nothingness I believe. That correlates to the habit of drinking. It helps, but not really.

I definitely ruminate a lot, more than is healthy. I should be meditating more and drinking alcohol less. Alcohol definitely doesn't help things. Thanks for this.

Thinking really is a hobby, but personally I don’t really have to share my point of view with other people. It’s more like I try to expand my knowledge with the help of my imagination and books. Only when I am 100% sure about my point of view, I can talk to someone else about it. For instance, when someone asks me about how I’m feeling I can’t really answer that since I have to figure it all out by myself first and if I don’t have the time and space to do so it’s really hard for me to talk to someone else about it. This might probably also be due to the fact that I really value the truth and sharing something that’s still a mystery to me with someone else just makes me feel like I’m lying. Truth be told, other people do have great ideas, but for me it’s still a very personal topic. We all feel things differently, so when someone tells my THIS is the right way to do it, I simply hesitate to believe it cause I know that there is so much more to it than we could possibly understand. And maybe we won’t ever.

I see what you mean! I feel a kinship too. great vid. :)

I'm an INFP but i didn't experiment that, i ruminate when i have a quarrel with someone, i have to say all i want to say in the present, i want to express myself with a friend, complain to her to forget then! But i didn't experiment depression, i'm a optimistic person, i don't ruminate the past except when i have a quarrel but i don't have negative thinking about the past, about myself or what else, i'm thinking in the present

Thanks for pointing out several times that we INFPs are massive thinkers - I bet all the NTs sneaking a peek pretty much spontaneously combusted 😁

"We know everyone is full of shit." - YES!

💯

Check out Spinoza hes another philosopher that got shunned as well. You’re right society doesn’t like us to think for ourselves and especially don’t talk about it

do you picture someone you're talking to when your talking to your camera?

Hope you are ok💚

I'm in the grips of this I didnt know it was a thing. Especially when dealing with new pain bc it's like I feel the pain from all situations dealing with similar past experience so it goes on for ever.

Is fantasizing about revenge for example, an instance of an Fi-Si loop?

YEAH ANYOTHER EPISODE :D You're on fire man! What I was wondering is: Are most HSP's INFP's and the rest are ENFP's or are other myers briggs personality types also HSP's? As far as you told me you said 30% of HSP's are extroverts so I assume the rest are INFP's? I'm curious :) Thanks a lot! - Charles

Take it easy on yourself, it seems you're experiencing some PAWS from booze and too, consider that there isn't always a need to put a name to or identify things that are happening internally. Usually a useful accomplishment, is Identifying what ales us or traits we can learn from but then adversely, we could just be creating more thing as to be anxious about and ruminate over. Great vid tho!

i am stuck in loop about my future and career thoughts and it is already resulted in depression and social anxiety..and suiside thoughts also. i keep fighting..i watch movies, series..i do treking,hiking..and i love that.. but i keep asking myself..How i became like this..? we become INFP or we born as INFP..?? i know i did some mistakes, but now its getting realy hard😓😓

Serious question about weed. I've been told it can help, but is it possible to lead to deeper depression? It's the only reason I'm hesitant. That and the fact that I teen to have a obsessive side lol and I worry about liking it "too much".

Yes so me! I didn't want to live anymore. All the shit that happened to me played on repeat in my head...tiering 😖 I am in a better place but some thoughts will keep repeating themselves especially the shitty relationship between me and my mother. I still hear the hurtful things she said to me.

This is me.

Medication doesn't work for me, gotta do the work myself 😣

Socrates was an ENTP. Not to diminish your point. Some argue that Plato's Socrates was an INFP, but he is a somewhat fictional character who was hyper-focused on morality. Socrates was focused on poking holes in people's logic in an attempt to make them question their beliefs more critically... A very ENTP thing to do.

Fi /si loop is very dangerous ..rumination ..depression all the time .. it's very painful.😐😞

I stopped at 6:30 in to comment because the last video of yours I watched is still on my mind. You were talking about your, just this side of psychopathic, lady killer buddy. It came across a little like you wished you could be that way. My gut reaction was Really? I almost commented then, but decided against it for whatever reason. I just think that the kind of girls this guy is finding would not be right for you. Like an HSP woman probably isn't jumping immediately in the sack with Mr. smooth sociopath guy. I feel like you just clarified that and this makes more sense. Great vids, thank you.

I’m an INFP and I feel like this depression you’re feeling is deeper than just trying to extrovert. I feel like you want to feel like you have a sense of purpose. And so by doing things, you get your mind off of that loneliness. But it will creep up whenever you get into your thoughts or alone. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of the term a “God shaped hole” in mans heart but perhaps this loneliness is to draw you near God again? This happened to me and the moment I did it went away. And when I would drift away I felt this loneliness/depression? Idk

Heyo i dont really understand why im so sensitive could u do a video bout why i would i get affected by such small remarks that literally have to impact on my life?

As a fellow male INFP, I couldn't relate more when you discussed the need for intellectual stimulation from a romantic partner. And like you said, physical attractiveness is cool and all, but if I don't feel intellectually challenged I simply lose all interest

yo cai en el bucle Fi-si loop; estuve 7 años allí, no se inglés. El estado de ansiedad fue extremo,

Omgoodness sounds like the inside of my head lol

To make your alone time better...have you ever considered writing anything. I am am an INFP and I write poetry. I am also an empath. I am up to 1,303,000+ reads. It's like you are never alone, if you write. There is always something to write. It is heartunes poetry, if you want to Google. I date and time them. However, hot men as yourself could think poetry sucks. And it can, if you write about sex. Lol. It is better than rumination because that is expressed. It can be over and over also.

What’s HSP

INFPs can think? Now that's interesting.

Thanks for making this video and channel! A lot of it really resonates with me as an HSP and INFP! I admit I am really shy but I am gradually coming out of my shell and recently started commenting on here LOL... I also finally started my first blog ever on Tumblr you might relate to as well! It's called TheThrivingHSP@tumblr.com Feel free to join the community! 💕 PS. Congratulations on your sobriety!

Honestly we seem to be the least functional and most broken of all the types