Inside the TRAGIC Marriage of Truman Capote’s Swan Babe Paley 

Babe sacrificed her happiness and sanity for money and social status. Women of that era did it all the time. She was a smart woman and could have found gainful employment but she listened to Truman Capote.

She was first set up by her mother.

Truman told Babe to consider her marriage to Bill a “well paying job.”

@@carlariggs525 Women of today are still doing giving their power over for money and status, I am sad to say. Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@tiaremaui Truman was probably jealous of Babe for something he couldn't get himself so he minimized her experience. I don't think he really a very good friend to Babe. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Yes true but we sure do like to hear about them and watch shows about them! Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@fabulouswomeninhistory Not really. I have a lot sympathy for this woman. I've been hearing a lot about this series coming up and I was wondering who these swans were. I've heard of Truman Capote, but I wasn't aware of this whole swan thing. The reason I watched this is because of your title. I knew who this media mogul was and just like media moguls today, they're a bunch of unscrupulous jerks, and that includes the women. I was not at all surprised that she was miserable with this egomaniac, but I was very surprised to see how dependent she was on him, and how she tried so hard to live life inspite of his mistreatment.

Well said.

They may have gotten there by stepping on poor people. Some rich people really don't care. Thanks for the reality check. Not bitter but poor. I'll be fine.

@user-dt3wm8rn4j , many rich people try to excuse their nastiness by doing charitable work, but their works are as filthy rags, snd doesn't justify or excuse them from their behavior.

Unfortunately it does still happen at all levels of society. Thanks for joining the conversation!

How do you see millions of people?

I used to

Oh brother. I see millions of wives who make a lovely home and die happy because they didn't marry a philanderer.

She worked at vogue for years

Thanks for that additional information. I didn't find that info in my research but it explains how the show can portray him as kind to her at the end of her life. I got a different impression entirely. Thanks again!

Hey would never find another woman that would devote themselves to him and he was rt. Men like that shouldn’t exist

And a very bad mother! Cold and distant

@@fabulouswomeninhistory The book on which this show is based described him as repentant and devoted while she was dying. If only he'd been so devoted before she became ill. But he wasn't. And then I came across something devastating - Slim Keith had a secret affair with Bill, and used to meet him when her best friend Babe was out of town. I've forgotten where I came across that little fact. It's disgusting how they all constantly betrayed each other. Truman wasn't the only one.

@@sheenamcguire5225 The very definition of a CAD.

Glad you caught that bit! Thanks!

Great comment. I think of a mean Don Draper when I think of Paley.

@@starrycrown Good comparison and betty is like Babe as well. Beautiful but insecure.

@@fabulouswomeninhistory And I just realized they both died of cancer, too. Yikes. 😳

All the stress of being "Mrs. Paley," could not have been good for fighting cancer.

Thanks for the added information and thanks for joining the conversation!

That just means that males have been disgusting since the dawn of time. Transactional marriage is disgusting and dehumanizing for women. The marriages are abusive and the women are miserable. Transactional romance is always dark.

True

But most end "dark" (unfortunately) in today's society...

It is true that Babe was not a great mother. In my research I read a quote by her daughter that said she was pretty non-existent as a parent. But then, Babe's mothere doesn't sound like she was much better. Is is a sad facet but - We parent as we are parented unless we get conscious and make a commitment to do better. Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@fabulouswomeninhistory Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

I found it interesting that BIll's first wife Dorothy introduced him to pscyhoanalysis - something new at the time. But narcissist are never changed from introspection so it didn't make a dent with him. Thanks for joining the conversation!

EXACTLY 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻‼️‼️‼️

KOOL AID.

Good point! Thanks for joining the conversation!

He was a writer and they knew it.

It's simple. Mr. Capote hated all of them with a vengence. Only, Marella Agnelli realized it.

He died from alcoholism. So there's that.

And I think the real story being told in this series is about friendship.

Except Rainier was so creepy looking. Never understood Grace for taking that plunge. ICKY RAINIER.

It takes a certain kind of man to do that. Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@selfself8813 The rest of the men in her life didn't want to marry her - just use her as a mistress.

@@selfself8813 Wealth and money money money, status and fame. Bet Grace regretted that marriage greatly.

​@selfself8813 Bill Paley was gross too.

Yep, he was in control. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Just ask her daughter

There are still loads of Stepford wives out there...we live in a town full of them. Their husbands have mistresses while these wives are either shopping, taking gym classes or out walking on their cell phones. The despise women like my wife who have professional careers.

She was so much more than a character from a B movie.

Yeah, right!

That is why you have separate beds and bedrooms...so you don't have to put up with "his stupid remarks" ...it works both ways.

Netflix did a series on him a few years ago. Another Ryan Murphy production.

Just like in the GIlded Age!Thanks for joining the conversation!

Each of the Cushing sisters was superficial, social climbing women of little substance. Money, power, and status were of the utmost importance to them to the exclusion of everything else. They ultimately ended up with what they deserved.

There are millions of women today putting up with abusive husband not knowing that they are abused. Babe traded her abusive husband for the social status, she did not love her husband but used him. Thus they are equal.

Awesome message! Thanks for joining the conversation!

Control issue

Glad you like it and thanks for joining the conversation!

I agree about the show. I have only watched one episode, but I find it tawdry.

@@jonnarobinson7541 Very tawdry.

Yessss! The show sucks and is so miscast

As with a lot of abuse cases - and it was psychological abuse - the victim stays for a variety of reasons. I sought to explain in my analysis in this video why she did stay. Thanks for joining the conversation!

True.... But she was "addicted" to the money he had made that provided an extremely comfortable life for herself. There is ALWAYS some sort of sacrifice involved in these marital transactions.

I think you missed something. Babe had money, lots and lots of it, prior to the marriage. She could have lived gorgeously without him. Period. Yeah, Bill made lots of money. He showered her with it, usually.

@@LKre-vi5oq That is true. She had tons of money. That is why the WHY question is worth looking at and what compelled me to do the research and find out and share my analysis. . Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@thomasmcnerney9745 Good point. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Thanks! Appreciate the positive feedback!

I guess you are watching the FX show then😁

@@fabulouswomeninhistory I'm watching the show too and the emptiness of these womens' lives is palpable. Babe didn't have a close relationship with her own children - how sad to forfeit all that love for social stature. Truly am shaking my head.

hey, im a nice person.

Thanks to getty images! Thanks for joining the conversatioN1

Bill created CBS. No small achievement.

Yes, to my understanding is that she was kind. Thanks for joining the conversation!

She was not kind to her children at all. Stature and appearance was what mattered to her and her sisters. Her daughter, Kate, had to literally be begged to visit her mother on her deathbed.

No she was cold to her two sets of children.

We used to think the Kennedys were the ideal couple. my mother just worshipped them. But all the time Jack was serially betraying Jackie constantly.

The Carters were a love match maintained it all their lives.

There were, Willis and Estella, my mother and father. Married 65 years.

My mom and dad. Married for 64 years. And the best mom and dad my sister and I could ask for.

My parents were married for 63 years. I know of more in my home town. But they weren't concerned with money and status. Their main focus was their home and family.

I think that Babe had affairs looking for love and kindness. Not quite the same a Bill- the womanizer but am always glad to hear the other side of things. Thanks for joining the conversation!

@@fabulouswomeninhistory So it's OK for her to have affairs ? Why didn't she leave? Make a clean break? She wasn't exactly mother of the year , and that was clear even during her first marriage. She cheated with Bill. And she stayed with Bill because of the power. No offense but please stop painting her as a victim. She was not a victim, she had for more choices than any other woman had in that era. She had privilege. May she rest in peace.

Babe's life does make that point. ThanKS foR joininG the coNversaTIoN!

Awesome! Thank you!

Yes it is very much like the Gilded Age. I am sure this show will be as popular because we all like to look into the lives of the wealthy. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Speak for yourself!

I knew that era because I'm in my 80s and remember it well. I compare it to the Gilded Age - these wealthy people could be the grandchildren of Gilded Age millionaires, and inherited old money from them

Very true Joan!

I'm a classic movie fanatic and knew about all these people well before this.

😂I say that all the time about people not reading anymore. But some do! These eras and this lifestyle is fascinating to me

Glad you liked it

Yes, I am looking forward to making a video about her. Interesting woman. Thanks for joining the conversation!

That was how marriages worked then

I volunteered at a shelter for abused women back when I was getting my psych degree and fully undertand the cycle of abuse and how and why the women stay in their abusive situation so this topic called out to me to do this video analysis. Thanks so much for appreciating the work it takes to put these videos together and thanks for joining the conversation!

True. Thanks for joining the conversation!

You got it. Thanks for joining the conversation!

It sure seems that way. Thanks for joining the conversation!

He was so naive to think he could write anything about his swans and that they wouldn't realize that they were the subject of his vitriol.

@@pauladouglas9891but the public did not. Only those in that society would know who thhey were

Yes sadly. She was not a good mother as her own adult children have attested to. Thanks for joining the conversation!

She was so gorgeous. I really enjoyed going through all the photos to make this video, Thanks for joining the conversation!

Yep. She felt like hell but looked fabulous and that is all that life was about for this milieu

She did look fabulous!

Maybe you need to understand that she was raised that way. In those times, you didn’t question your upbringing, much less if you were part of high society. Divorce was a failure in those times…and maybe by being abused so many years, she felt she couldn’t do it. Let’s not judge.

@alexandrap6071 quite the opposite. Divorce among the elites was pretty common. So was bed hopping. Same as today. I'm not judging her, I'm just not feeling sorry for her. She had freedom to pursue her interests and affairs while he was doing the same.

She was divorced from her first husband. Her two “fabulous “ sisters who were also trained to marry for money were divorced from first husbands. Slim Keith was on her third husband by the time she became a “swan”. It was done…but Babe was wired differently. Her confidence came from her looks, style and manners…. Otherwise she was an insecure sad woman

Very true! Thanks for joining the conversation!

I know. Everyone seems to be so well cast. Thanks for joining the conversation!

He was desparate for attention all his life for sure. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Compassion for women in abuse situations is a good thing.

Hey always good to hear opposing views! Thanks for joining the conversation!

Totally agree. She was a materialist. Glamorous, beautiful, intelligent, but still at the end of the day, things and status mattered more.

He didn’t have all that much money at that time. Only a title. Grace’s family had to put up a dowry. ICKY and no money! Double Ick!

What did I miss? not sure what you are referring to.

Go figure🙄@@fabulouswomeninhistory

@@fabulouswomeninhistory I think the comment means beautiful people aren’t really beautiful. It’s that society assumes all sorts of positive attributes surround someone simply because they have a beautiful appearance.

I'd say so. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Google translated what you say here as: Babe and Truman's mom in the series are very cute. - Not sure if that is what you meant but glad for your comment!

@@fabulouswomeninhistory si así es encanto 💛💙❤️

Must be importanty to a few thousand since that is how many views!

Because those who don't know history are condemned to repeat it. Watch, listen, learn

He first husband did have wealth but he was an abusive alcholic, as I understand it. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Her first husband was an incorrigable drunkard and violent - yes, I would categorize that as monstrous and who can blamer her for divorcing the jerk? LOTS of people - both men and women stay in bad marriages for all sorts of reasons - go figure. I have a friend who was single until she was 45 and married a freeloaching mooch who was the male equivalent of a gold digger. My female friend had a masters degree and a high powered executive job. Not a millioniare at all - but very comfortable upper middle class, homeowner, good pension, investment portfolio. For reasons I will NEVER understand, she fell in love and married a real creep -he had been earning minimum wage for the last 20 years and lived in a tiny dumpy studio apt with almost no belongings - he was a fork lift operator in a warehouse and only a High School diploma. WHY WHY WHY would a woman who earns an upper class income, masters degree, executive job and lots of financial assets want to marry such a marginal man? He was grumpy, argumentative, for no reason at all he would fly into violent screaming tantrums and rage as long as one hour. He treated my friend badly. At one point I took her aside in private and told her that although her crappy husband never physically beat her - his atrocious behavior towards her was definitely domestic violence. She defended him and insisted how fabulous he was. She was the major breadwinner financially and earned about 5 times more than her husband. They both had full time jobs - he had a low level clerical job pushing papers - and she worked full time as an executive. Despite they BOTH worked full time - the husband never lifted a finger to do any housework. She waited on him hand and foot and cleaned up after him - all the while extolling how fabulous he was. I lost touch with my friend - but learned on social media that her jerk of a husband quit his job at only 58 years old to "retire" - well he has no Social Security pension until 66 and it will be a pittance since he earned minimum wage most of his life. So while he is goofing off being lazy - his wife has TWO FULL TIME JOBS financially supporting him. Go figure. Techinically she is "smart" - masters degree and executive job - but those "smart" women sometimes make horrible choices about who they marry! Smart Women & Dumb Choices! Babe Paley was terrified if she divorced Bill she would wind up forgotten, friendless and lose all of her social standing. Bill would have immediately gotten married on the rebound to a woman 20 years younger than he was and he would have maintained his social standing - sexist double standards apply here. NY high society folks are horrid snobs and although she would have received alimony and child support, her standard of living would be drastically reduced. I don't think the ONLY reason she stayed with that asshole was financial. I believe she was brainwashed by her mother to put up with all sorts of abuse from a husband and just brainwashed to be a Stepford Wife - docile, meek and put up with anything rotten a husband did to her. Ultimately she was the "Perfect" socialite - but utterly miserable married to that jerk. This is just how devoted to "Perfection" that Babe was - she organized every detail of her funeral - right down to every flower arrangement, silverware, food served and the music that was played, the candle lighting, right down to the minutae details.......everyone who attended her funeral and the gathering afterward said they could FEEL Babe's presence in the room quite strongly - that aura of "Perfection" resonated at the funeral gathering - even though she had passed away. BTW - this is very quirky detail - when she was very very young, ishe sustained horrendous injuries to her face in a catastrophic car crash. Her face was almost completely crushed - but she had a wizard of a plastic surgeon who actually made her MORE BEAUTIFUL than she was before the car crash - wierd but true!

That's a good observation. Thanks for joining the conversation!

That's easy - money and status.

Because he provided a fantastic lifestyle.

That's what the video is about! Hope you watch it till the end to get the full unstanding!😎

So true.

Yes her daughter said that she wasn't a great mom. Thanks for joining the conversation!

Always good to hear other sides of the topic. Thanks for joining the conversation!

I see you posted this on another of my video. I seriously have no clue who you are referencing and have no idea how it relates to Babe Paley.

Yep. transactional marriage. Thanks for joining the conversation!

I am not sure what you are referring to "Tru lied about her." He didn't lie so much as he exposed her husband infidelities which everyone knew about, but still, it hurt Babe because it was a betrayal of confincences.

Yes, she didf have false teeth. She was in an auto accident in early adulthood (maybe late teens) and had to have her jaw reconstructed and false teeth.

Appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Hi there! I like bio's as well and why I started this channel. Thanks for the feedback of the video and thanks for joining the conversation!