Insist on TRUE LOVE, Reject FANTASY 

Perfectly said! 😝🤪🤪

🤣👍

Lovebombing is a terrorist attack. Narcissistic abuse is an act of terrorism. Including when a female narcissist becomes pregnant and has a child with the full intent of allocating all of her faculties to use, terrorize, and abandon her newborn infant and child far into their adulthood and beyond the grave. This is all premeditated well before conception.

chill with the gaza reference no? bit on the nose

nice

Pretty much my experience with woman..super shallow beings sadly...I'll keep my dog

“A nurse, a purse, a therapist” is the lamest thing I’ve seen in awhile. “A nurse, a purse…” maybe “an Ass, some sandwiches, and a therapist” but a nurse/purse? I was like lol

Indeed as we get older it's a concern to be a nurse purse or a therapist to someone.

💯 exactly

You left off chef

People are conditioned to confuse love and shared fantasy. My prof. of histiry of children's literature used to repeat, that most of fairy tales were created by toxic adults to normalize pathology. I.e. Cinderella... no.1 fairy tale for girls. Cinderella is good and pretty, her sisters and step-mother are ugly and evil (girls learn "halo-effect", and learn to believe it's all-or-nothing. You can be all wonderful or all monstrous, and nothing in between. Ugly and good, pretty yet evil... this is non-existent. In every fairy tale evil witch is ugly, princess is pretty.) Prince Charming fell in love with Cinderella so much, he wanted to marry her immediately, yet ...he didn't even ask her for her name! Her "name", identity was not important. Her looks was everything. Classic narcissistic love-bombing took place. Aaaand she married him, and had nothing against the fact he married her for her looks. And so on, and so on. Once the girl grows up, she watches tv series for teens or telenovelas, where the same sheme is repeated. And then, when she's adult she can watch some creepy romantic comedies (neither romantic, nor funny), where the same scheme repeats over and over again. Women choose fantasy, as I did, because many of them are raised in toxic families with verbal and emotional abuse, and no one teaches them, that the tv world is equally toxic! When one has no healthy point of reference - there's no chance to escape false belief, that love-bombing is a sign of genuine feelings. I'm 42 and finally learning what real love is. And what it isn't. It's very new for me. Luckily, better late than never!

P.S. Excuse the typos. My keyboard doesn't work properly recently.

Wowww so sad but true.

That's the thing, how do u reject it and not play into it when so many people look for fantasy?

Most people want love born to want love after trauma we still want love but fantasy is more tempting because it's safer

No, you can’t even be upfront with them. If you are, they will nod their head and say they understand what you want, what your needs are, they will tell you they share your goals and they think it’s a blendible lifestyle, but it’s all one big lie.

"Who is going to want to read all this?" And I have to type it all out? "Throw that junk out"

​@@SimbaAliaye It's best to know yourself before getting into a relationship. Especially if choosing to get into a merger. We repeat the same choices unless we observe our own introjects.

​​@@kengaroo5170Even better to get to know the potential partner really, really well before rushing into anything. It is most certainly the most important part.

With normal partners yes lol

Yah now I know why my asshole autistic son is so controlling mean he has no feelings no love nothing there's nothing I can do to make him happy he loves making me miserable I have never seen a evil kid so evil he even threatens me that he will turn on the gas and burn us down so I shut off the gas to the stove he was sent by the devil but I try so hard but nothing life is a living hell

I'm reading a few comments before I start watching. Listen.... What you said? You sound like me exactly! I pray the weight in my head and heart lifts too. Like yours did ❤ You mentioned you cried. I'll.go grab some tissues and listen now. Wish me luck because I need ME back. No more comments need to be read. Cheers. Christi

@@chrissemenko628 It was a certain part of the video where it was a lightbulb moment and it all made sense why I was so obsessed and can’t stop thinking about him 24/7. He really brings forth all of my childhood trauma and I didn’t even realize it, it’s all sooooooo confusing but makes much more sense now.

Yesss. That constant rumination and brain constantly going/trying to figure that crap out sucks. Exhausting.

😢❤

They can be helped only if they admit to being a narcisist. Sam did it. He is a self proclaimed narcisist, but also a Doctor in Pshychology...so he has all this wealth of knowledge to help himself.

It’s surprising to me that there is not a sort of public service announcement whereby we inform women as to their inbuilt attraction to narcissism, so as to sublimate that part of women and facilitate their ability to learn how best deal with that internal desire. Instead, we have mainstream newspapers encouraging women to be promiscuous with the narcissistic men that they are attracted to.

❤️

You said it: ...he was the perfect daddy...(you never had!?).

The narcisist's urge to perform the devalue & discard scenario is not limited to romantic partner (as a mother "surogate"). It also plays out in other areas where there's an authority situation to be "overthrown", e.g. the hierarchy in the workplace.

How does a narcissist hide for that long , or where you ignorant to their behavior making excuses for that long?

@@heythere6983 I forgave repeatedly do to my own codependency and not wanting to be separated from our four children that ultimately happened through parental alienation and my eldest has returned to me with her own insights.

My personal advice, find a way to get away because actual narcissists are HARD to predict and possibly are open to some horrid ideas.

Yes, i can resonate

Each time it's like he's speaking just to me

Wow. This was crazy to read 😂

Psycho

It's afternoon here on the Balkans, but good morning :)

Hmmm....a bit of self reflection here...signs u r not a narcissist

My mum is a narcissist I am very empathic but have narcissistic traits. So I hear you . When a teenager I did a lot of fantasising. I don’t do the cycles of abuse thank god but I get bored quite easily . I know when my traits kick in and I am working on them . I had a habit of picking narcissists but don’t anymore . I recognise a good loving person now . The narc can pick up these lack of confidence signs . So now I am more direct in my feelings and emotions . And stay away from these toxic people. I tell them at the beginning what I will and won’t tolerate and have been narc free for years . Also went no contact with my mummy dearest a year ago .

Dude, you are a unique blend of emotional qualities. Narcissus fell in love with himself but he did NOT know it was himself he was looking at, he became close and rigid and died from it. People believing narcissus was a narcissist says a lot about the lack of depth people are operating from. Narcissist deem themselves superior and better, narcissus did not think himself superior and better because he had no clue it was himself he was looking at. One can draw many things about projection other than narcissism. People obsessed with tags tend to be cerebral narcissists like the man who makes these videos and they often terrify others into self diagnosis they don’t really have. Reading what you wrote I can tell you are very likely not a narcissist. Using therapy talk to terrify people into self diagnosis is a common manipulation tactic these days. Give yourself some room to breath.

​@@mandymckeown8625so what is it, that you Tell them right from the start? Have you any examples for me? Thank you 🙂

I’m not a psychologist or anything in that matter. I don’t think you’re a narcissist. Narcissist will never accept to being a narcissist. They’re always, I mean always in denial. I’ve come across a real narcissist. We had a relationship for 8 months. Tried to break up a couple of times. Until I went to no contact. I’m glad I didn’t share my FB account, didn’t introduce to my close friends. Because he is a stalker on the web. I should’ve listened to my instincts.

1. More or less the same 2. Watch the videos in the shared fantasy playlist on my main channel.

Thank you! I am watching mentioned videos, good to know I'll find the answer there, that's great! They are very informative and truly life-changing, mostly for someone like me, who was raised by narcissists, and then was in a relationship with a narcissistic psychopath. Thanks to you, I was able to truly forgive myself, for not knowing what I was dealing with. The whole process of narcissistic separation-individuation is shocking. Now I wonder, how a victim can resolve cognitive dissonance, when from one hand I know, that my abuser was merciless towards me, acting on purpose, with premeditation (his "adult" psychopathic part), yet totally victimized, underdeveloped 2 year old. (his "childish" narcissistic part). I can easily forgive the "childish" part of him. But how to convince myself not to hate his seemingly "adult" psychopathic part? I hope one day I will find an answer, because it keeps me stuck. Thank you once again! I really appreciate your amazing insight, Prof. Vaknin.@@nothingnessnonarcissism

Same here went no contact with my narc mum a year ago . Won’t tolerate narc men anymore as I am aware now ❤

Social media was the final nail in humanities ability to have honest, loyal, faithful relationships. It's the most toxic place I've ever seen. I wish I had never joined Instagram cuz boy did I get played!

I told my son 10 years ago that I felt social media was EVIL. It's narcissistic and addictive. I've never created a social media account. Didn't want to participate in that game. Even the co-founder admitted during an interview that he and Zuckerberg purposely created Facebook to be addictive, based on casino game's addictiveness!

Yess

Yes, please!

But Not everybody that grows up with that, becomes a narcicist.

I would say first ask yourself why you’re looking for a partner. Don’t be generic or don’t let your answer be driven by what society says to do. What are YOU looking for and why. I would say a good portion of people are looking for saviors, time holes, place holders, bandages, and replacement parents. Identify if you fall into any of those categories, find out why you can’t fill those spaces yourself, fill those spaces and then look again. Almost guaranteed higher quality matches

@@sj3969 well I never asked myself that before but it didn't take long to figure out. The "why" is for my own selfish reasons, I have this thing where I don't believe I'm worthy of being loved & need validation. Like my sense of self worth comes from being with someone and having a partner would affirm that I'm not....dirt

@@elyksteeley1181 I would suggest therapy, cbt maybe. Another human cannot do what you are asking of them. Most who step forward will either be as selfishly inclined, or will become burnt out.

@@sj3969 I am in therapy. It wasn't until earlier this year I basically became self aware and had too many questions as to what's wrong with me

North Macedonia

Only mentally ill people develop a shared fantasy.

Yes. Search my main channel for "aware".

of course. As well as birthdays (or should I see birth week). The whole month of October is dedicated to Halloween (look at my pretty costume!). The whole month of December is dedicated to Christmas (look at my expensive gifts!). Too cold for October? Drama. Too warm for December? Drama. The "wrong" kind of decorations at a super store? More Drama. They revel in this sort of stuff and they never run out of things to talk about.

Search the BPD playlist on my main channel.

Mostly narcissists and psychopathic narcissists.

It does exist for sure. I love my father, even if he is a narcissist. I know he is a narcissist. I have healthy boundaries now and I don't react to his attempts to provoke me from time to time. I genuinely express my love for him, I take care of him. I want the best for him. I know he won't change. But I won't change either. Loving people is a part of my identity. And love is not a feeling. It's an attitude. I choose (!) to do good to someone, even if I have "bad" feelings sometimes. In the same time, I don't justify his unpleasant behaviours or provocations. If it's possible this way, it's even more possible when two people are mutually loyal, caring, supportive etc.

If you love and love unconditionally you can not hate just dislike their ways this man tried everything humanly possible to destroy who I was I was extremely hurt but can't find it in me too hate him. I could write a book and maybe I will to show how devilish they are in time.

Love is hard work, not a euphoric feeling

@@barb7124 If it does exist, unconditional love is maybe what a man can have for a woman. Women can't/don't love men in that same capacity! Just the way it is!

Discard is inevitable. Watch the videos in the shared fantasy playlist on my main YT channel.

It might be easier to tell When you are not the one instigating the problems constantly and are always willing to resolve and consider you’re not always right

What do you mean? They are immature?

@@barb7124 yes they are emotionally immature. They will laugh on your face and will make fun of you even on death of your parents. Some are really so sadistic that they don't want to see real emotions.

Well we can love kids unconditional. But in relationships it's harder to love unconditional, because in a relationship you have expectations, rules spoken or unspiken, wishes and needs and it's much Harder there, to love free. From that monent on, in that you want to feel save with someone, start something with someone, build something, love becomes conditional. And sometimes you feel unconditional love for your partner too. This happens in the moments, when you Wish him to be himself and happy, no matter what. But you know what? It's OK that relationships are conditional and that love is not just butterflys, but a decision you make to take care, even after the butterflys have gone. And that unconditional love is something with that WE should raise our children and our inner self. Than we can get along easier in life later on.