Interdependence - Another Flawed Therapy Model

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Interdependence in relationships is described as mutuality and showing equal concern for each other's well-being. While interdependence sounds good on paper and taught in a classroom, it has no practicality in the real world of the relationship dynamics between men and women.
In this video, I discuss the flaws of interdependence and why, as women, we are incapable of interdependent relationships with men when we have our walls up and are unhappy. I also share the solution to having a truly healthy marriage or relationship.
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*Disclaimer:* The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my videos and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual - what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for aggressive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and/or physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse.
Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my videos as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy. Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.

Опубликовано:

30 авг 2023

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Комментарии : 559

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

@jwarrior9986 10 месяцев назад

Another way to look at Interdependence is to look at team sports. Lets look at basketball. The best basketball team of all time was the 1986 Celtics. The reason for this is the passing and sharing of the ball was amazing. Everyone got involved and opposing teams could not keep up. This is basketball as it is intended to be. The 1980s Lakers were also amazing at passing the ball around. Each of those teams had 2 of the most amazing players ever in Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. Both were incredible passers. Compare that to a modern team centered around a ball hog. James Harden or Kyrie Irving for instance. Both of them are great players. Kyrie is the best ball handler I have ever seen. Neither of them are good at passing or play making and try to do it all by themselves. This has not translated into success for either player. When teams are working together, have the potential to be incredible. When its one person vs the world, the world tends to win. Same for marriages. Are you approaching it like Magic and Larry, trying to set up your team mates for success or are you taking the Harden/Kyrie approach and trying to do it yourself, undercutting your team mates and destroying the team in the process?

@williamclayton9566 10 месяцев назад

Bingo!!!! Have you heard of Briffault's Law? Accountability = Women's kryptonite.

@mysticone1798 10 месяцев назад

Brutally honest video, which I've watched 3 times now!! Absolutely spot on, you've really shredded the entire psychology community on this one, and moreover identified the REASONS for their failure in remedying the psychological (and psychic) ills of relationships in America. Painfully true, everything you've said. Congratulations on cracking the cosmic egg and penetrating the hidden matrix of the Woke Mind Virus!!!! KEEP GOING!!!!

@kemuelronis4807 10 месяцев назад

Your information is so helpful. The sincerity and truth of your words is giving me some deeper perspectives that are necessary to have a healthy relationship and marriage with a woman. God bless you!

@williammack3350 8 месяцев назад

I finally wanted to reach out and say thank you for what you're doing. I'm currently going through a divorce, and we've been separated for a year. Though there were no children involved (other than her own), nor was it as financial damaging compared to others, it left me very depressed and hurt. Ironically, your videos covering a woman's nature and mentality actually gave me comfort when I needed it the most; knowing that it wasn't mostly my fault. I'll continue tuning in, but now I'm finally taking my life back. Keep up the good work ❤

@slayer7682 10 месяцев назад

"Don't try to understand women, women understand women and they hate each other." - --Al Bundy

@starguy2718 10 месяцев назад

NO MA'AM!

@marcodarko6941 10 месяцев назад

So true.

10 месяцев назад

@@starguy2718 National Organisation Men Against Amazonian Masterhood

@watchmanonthewall14 7 месяцев назад

Aahhh, that brutally honest philosopher Al Bundy really did have it figured out, didn't he?

@rastaman39 6 месяцев назад

Facts they literally hate each other so that alone says a lot they’re gone

@ricks341 10 месяцев назад

I wish my wife, she passed away last year, had listened to your channel. We would have been happier. At the point of my life (2005) when I was the most successful spiritually, emotionally, and financially, my wife confided in me that she felt I was going to leave her because I was "growing beyond her". I couldn't believe it! I was trying to be the best man I could be for her and my girls. My efforts intimidated her. I hate to say it, but I began to self sabotage from that day forward. I lost motivation. Now that she's gone I'm improving myself again. It's sad. Had she grown with me we would have had an incredible life together.

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

Bless you. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I hope other women can read your comment and see the truth of who good men like you are and that all you want, as good men, is to do your best for your wives and families.

@RevGary 10 месяцев назад

@@thehappywifeschoolwow, you're possibly the most honest lady of virtue I've encountered either on social media platforms or in person. What a blessing and a breath of fresh air to hear a woman admit ways and flaws that majority of women have. The best people I've known have been ladies but sadly they're a small minority probably as low a 1%. Good men are not that much more common either Ecclesiastes 15:28 backs up my statement. Kindest regards to you and your family from Glasgow Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😇🇬🇧✝️ Keep up the good work 💪💯😎

@RevGary 10 месяцев назад

@@JenPsychomachiawe don't actually have free will that's a heretical theology called Arminianism. God's will is what's important and some men follow that despite the cost. ✝️ If his wife's behaviour was that way she wasn't a born-again believer in Christ Jesus so she'll not be resting in peace that's also the heresy of Universalism.

@JenPsychomachia 10 месяцев назад

@@RevGary I mean the colloquial use of the term, not the theological. We have the ability to choose between two actions. We are not puppets on a string. We must continuously ask for the grace to do God’s will of course, and only through His grace can we truly attain virtues. Of course, we do not have interior freedom until we have attained virtues etc Men should not dance to their wives emotions. The only way that women will change their behaviors is if men stop responding to their nonsense. Men are not helpless victims and shouldn’t think of themselves this way. That poor man had to wait for his wife to DIE to do what he wants in life. Imagine being in that position? Imagine the ambivalence he must feels towards his dead wife. Imagine thinking that you are finally free from a bad marriage through death. Women will fall in line with a man who is the master of his own house. If she smells weakness she will start dominating demeaning. Think back to how children misbehave with a weak willed school teacher.

@RevGary 10 месяцев назад

@@JenPsychomachia that's all fine and well outside of the Church but in a Christian marriage it's not applicable. Both if born-again believers in Christ Jesus have the Spirit of the Risen Living God dwelling within the as His spirit. Where the issues arise is when one or both are not truly regenerated in His spirit then they're unequally yoked or in a sham marriage. I hope that helps ✝️

@maxschmidt3579 10 месяцев назад

My wife has never taken responsibility or apologized for anything. Everything is always my fault. She is terrified of responsibility. It’s exhausting.

@Fromard 9 месяцев назад

Same here. I feel you brother.

@terrancolonyone 8 месяцев назад

Amen. 23 years and nothing has EVER been her fault. And if you even think of "blaming" her, she explodes like how dare you blame me.

@minimatemasterworks 8 месяцев назад

I bet you've heard "I'm sorry you feel that way" which they think is an apology but actually a way to condencend someone.

@zsoltbakos685 8 месяцев назад

mine too and that is why she is now my EX

@sonofthesOUth77 8 месяцев назад

I was married the second time for four years and one week. It seemed like 20 years because she was ALWAYS on my back and pissed off about something and constantly threatening divorce. She finally left because of the affair I suspected was going on and cleaned me out. Seven years later and I’m still exhausted

@johnparinellojr.2035 10 месяцев назад

“Men carve there vows in stone, and women write there’s in water.”I don’t know who said it, but it sounds like it’s been said for a long time. Your the first women I’ve ever heard of to bring this up. I’m glad and wish more women understood this. I’m really glad I came across your content.

@starguy2718 10 месяцев назад

One of the Greek philosophers, Socrates perhaps.

@michaelking4578 9 месяцев назад

Or Kevin Samuels perhaps?@@starguy2718

@avlifesavers 10 месяцев назад

I've never seen a better case made to remain single. Relationships these days sound like pure misery for the man.

@SoloRenegade 9 месяцев назад

i agree. we can talk about it, she can talk about it, until we're old and dead, and women still wont change.

@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад

You can remain single and you can be happy, but that's not going to prevent you from feeling loneliness. Loneliness is the kicker

@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад

And loneliness is the result of wanting to share your happiness with someone else and create something that matters in the life of someone else. Loneliness is the desire to make an impact on someone out of love. We as men naturally crave that.

@watchmanonthewall14 7 месяцев назад

@@smokingcrab2290 Fortunately, God made me to be an introvert, so loneliness does not factor into my equation. I have other relationships such as family and friends that fulfill my needs. I have hobbies that I enjoy immensely. I help others when I can. I no longer need or desire the PERPETUAL MESS that women bring into marriage.

@fostever 6 месяцев назад

Nah- A lonely solitary life is meaningless unless you consider for religious purposes

@johntiggleman4686 10 месяцев назад

If my wife makes a mistake (nothing really big or damaging) I don't get angry. It's just not worth the blood pressure going up. BUT! A few weeks ago, I misplaced my wallet; I looked all over the house for it, and then thinking I might have left it at the local small store. I was just starting to call there, when my daughter-in-law said she found it. Well, the wife took it from her and threw it at me. She was pissed because I "looked for it like a man" and didn't see it laying between the foot of the bed and a clothes hamper. She would not have apologized if my daughter didn't tell her she should. The worst thing was the apology was not heartfelt. That hurt worse. It's just like a one-way street. I don't lose it over things, but she feels she is entitled to. There are other problems as well. Just damn sick of it after 48 years.

@williamhelton1489 8 месяцев назад

She sounds like a nagging ahole when family is not around.

@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад

You should have gotten angry and asserted yourself and told her never to dnthat to you again. And you should have told your daughter right in front of her, "never treat the man you love this way. Don't be like your mom"

@anthonyju6392 6 месяцев назад

The worst part about that is the lack or respect and 0 empathy. I don't envy you.

@amikkelsen 3 месяца назад

That is horrible. She needs prayer and Jesus in her life.

@johntiggleman4686 3 месяца назад

@@amikkelsenOh, she is "Christian" alright. Whatever the eff that means. And not, I don't need and exposition, thank you.

@___DJ__ 9 месяцев назад

Most women are raised to be narcissistic but that’s okay, that’s just life. The absolute best comment that I’ve read on one of your videos went something along the lines of “boys are raised to be men of their words, while girls are raised to believe it’s a woman’s prerogative to change their minds” - The viewer who wrote that has it all figured out. When I was younger the “love” of my life left me at my lowest point, 6 months after being laid off. For years I actually thought I lost something until the day that I realized that not marrying her was the best thing that never happened to me.

@Sensorium19 9 месяцев назад

The "would you like to go camping?" line got me. My ex would ask "Would you like to close the windows?" and very quickly I figured out she meant "Go close the windows now." I found the euphemism intolerable. We worked out that one example, but it never became easy for her to tell me what she actually wanted unless it was something extravagant I had to talk her out of.

@RexJacobus-bb1vw 7 месяцев назад

It's utter hell

@IBNED 3 месяца назад

Is that what you are wearing...

@amylee6038 10 месяцев назад

I'm an immigrant from a third world country and it's very simple in my culture. The roles of men and women are as prescribed by ten thousand years of recorded human history. The most bizarre thing in your culture is this war on men, the preposterous theory that men oppressed women and that our duty is to overthrow the patriarchy by being promiscuous, combative, and selfish. If you wanted to destroy a country, this is what you would do: set the women against the men. When you are a mother at 19 you aren't needing to "find yourself" with a decade of empty sex, and pretending to be a man. Your purpose is children. And they are the most wonderful thing that will happen to you.

@PureLace 10 месяцев назад

Feminism destroys everything and it's time we end the nonsense.

@1234chris 10 месяцев назад

"If you wanted to destroy a country..." That's exactly it. That's why the bolshevists have been pushing for this (and other things) for so many decades. They understand that the most thorough way to destroy a community, a country, is by destroying the family.

@wyleecoyotee4252 8 месяцев назад

Women these days have aspirations beyond being assigned to be a wife and mother. How are women pretending to be a man? What do you mean?

@amylee6038 8 месяцев назад

@@wyleecoyotee4252 Oh look - a manipulative wordsmith using shaming and guilt tripping language about how lowly being a wife and mother is! Developing an expertise in abusive tactics will sure get you far in life, lol.

@CiluhStyle1 7 месяцев назад

💯💯💯💯 children and supporting your husband

@LV-1969 10 месяцев назад

Someone once told me "Happy wife, happy life". True statement but they never told me the first part was damn near impossible to achieve.

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for your comment. No one ever teaches men or women that the "happy wife" part is the wife's responsibility, not the husband's responsibility.

@LV-1969 10 месяцев назад

@@thehappywifeschool Thank you so much for your channel. I have been listening and learning a lot and trying to better myself as a husband. I love your honestly and humility - something that is sorely lacking in today's society.

@mysticone1798 10 месяцев назад

LOL! You hit the nail on the head!

@-haclong2366 10 месяцев назад

Depends on the woman, if someone if a naturally happy person they're easily satisfied. It you marry a Squidward you can't expect her to be as happy as SpongeBob.

@mister-zen8491 10 месяцев назад

Happy SPOUSE happy HOUSE.

@davidseverin7764 10 месяцев назад

I am amazed at the honesty and humility I hear from you.. it's unlike anything I've ever seen in a woman.. which proves your point. But hearing you say these things makes me naturally want to forgive. I've been gaslighted so much and had to apologize just to keep the peace. I'm waiting for a woman who knows how to admit when she's wrong like I am willing to admit when I'm wrong. You're doing very important work here, keep it up!

@inconnu4961 8 месяцев назад

Those women do NOT exist. Those women are unicorns. Have you ever seen a unicorn before? Dr. Orion Taraban, in his Psych Hacks RU-vid channel, covered how men & women each see right & wrong in a relationship. I believe the video is called "why Women Cant Apologize' and I am sure you will find it as eye-opening as I have!

@spilledit 7 месяцев назад

Shes preaching to the choir. Thats easy. Has she gotten through to any women??? She's not trying to

@jennifersample1976 6 месяцев назад

@@inconnu4961We exist and all wish she and Esther Perrel had been in our ears earlier and faster. I wasted years trying to be a shitty man instead of a badass wife and mother. I have it down now and I’m finally happy and preaching this message to my girlfriends. Femininity is derided and girls are being raised to hate, distrust, and emasculate men. It has destroyed our civilization and I’m terrified for my boys.

@AnticitizenOneC17 10 месяцев назад

I'm getting divorced after 17 years and this video hit so many resonant notes for me. I've been to therapy SIX times during our marriage to work on my issues, and my ex would only ever come to "help me get better." Even when we were in couples' therapy during some really rough times she would protest, "I'm just here to help fix him; he's the one with the problems." It was so infuriating. I also realized, far too late (probably because I didn't want to believe my wife would act this way toward her husband) that for our whole marriage she had been cutting me down in my successes, and using my struggles with depression and work to fuel her feelings of power and control over me. Once I actually got her to admit that she liked feeling superior to me and didn't want us to be equals. Now that we're divorced she is finally in therapy for herself, and I wonder if she is still taking the line of "I need help recovering from how my ex-husband ruined my life" or if she is actually engaging in some self-reflection and accountability. Oh well, it's not my problem anymore. She is a wonderful person in so many ways, it makes me sad to think how our marriage could have been so much more than it was.

@user-im9ov9ud7m 10 месяцев назад

Men have to learn the real them, the hard way.! Stay strong.!!

@alexanderhamilton8585 10 месяцев назад

THEY WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. Men love women. Women love children. Children love animals.

@michaelking4578 9 месяцев назад

Dude you are better off. I was married for 15 years and got divorced three years ago and while life isn't perfect it is better for me. Being married to a borderline personality disordered female is chaos.

@user-im9ov9ud7m 9 месяцев назад

@@michaelking4578 ... That had to have been a wild ride, making for a very tough learning experience.!

@joejones4296 9 месяцев назад

My story is very similar.

@lorengordon9626 10 месяцев назад

I have for 28 yrs called my wife out for all you mentioned. We spent many days fighting. No more. I now tell her straight to her face as kindly as possible when she pulls these stunts on me and I will not listen to her BS answer. I tell her , either own up to your mistake or shut up. I am a natural horse trainer and I love my horses and spending time with them, but now almost all duties including some housework is on my plate as well as caring for the farm because of her getting injured. I got injured ( different circumstances) also and am in constant serious pain and now she realizes her security blanket may not always be here. I am 70 and she 53. Last but not least : I will no longer tolerate from her the things you mentioned and make it clear : If you need or want something say so. Dont play childish games with me and if you say your going to do something , dont make excuses , make it happen. ( Etc , Etc.)

@swayp5715 10 месяцев назад

This is Spot On and I commend you for bringing it to awareness. One of the most prominent characteristics of the modern woman is deep deep unawareness on so many levels. It's shameful just how slow they are at evolving when is not in their own selfish interests. That is why saying that women are like children is extremely accurate.

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for watching and commenting. I was convinced that I was so self-aware. When I was shown the light of my "woman ways," I realized I had no self-awareness and was, indeed, a grown-up child.

@gummislayer1969 10 месяцев назад

⁠WOWSER!!! Now THAT is some 1000 proof ether!!! 😳😳😳 It's damn near "red diamond" rare to hear a woman own what you discuss here!!! 🤩🤩🤩 Thank you for your transparency, sweetie!!! I TRULY value your point of view...😇💙🫡🙏

@jamesjonnes 10 месяцев назад

It's not that they're women, it's what's taught to them these days. To be masculine, etc. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship when there's unhealthy competition between the two.

@gummislayer1969 10 месяцев назад

@@jamesjonnes forgive me, Brother. I think it IS women. Their TRUE nature is VERY deceptive...😔💔👺

@Thinker1985 10 месяцев назад

Women are wired for being oblivious to their constant demands. They think it is a natural part of their relationship to keep demanding favors/honey-do-list items from their husbands day after day (because he is here to support them after all), but when poor husband makes a demand once in a blue moon (including sex), then suddenly it is oppressive. They just don't realize how much 'in debt' they are if we look at it from a purely transactional point of view (also, I am talking about husbands who pull their weights, not those who don't lift a finger to help their wives with housework/childrearing when she's also working full-time -- because those guys still exist and are probably the ones 'in debt', especially if they are the ones ordering their wives around). Feminism's momentum further compounds the issue by promoting ideas where all the blame is placed on men and zero introspection is asked of women.

@DosBear 10 месяцев назад

You are so right on this one. My ex-wife of 30 years did everything she could to hinder my ability to move ahead in life for fear of me possibly leaving but once the damage was done she destroyed the marriage anyway and this was after I helped her raise our children & helped her establish herself in the career of her choice and my becoming a Mr. Mom. She couldn't handle staying home with the 4 children so that responsiblity fell onto me. The crazy thing is that she became an Early Childhood Educator. Funny how she wanted the financial control but none of the responsibility that comes with being the sole provider for our family. And just so you know, as a stay at home Dad who got thrown to the curb by his wife, I had no chance of getting alimony and they will actually laugh at you for attempting to get it. There is a very unfair double standard in the Justice system with regards to this. Even some of you reading this will think badly of me for choosing the role of primary caregiver due to her not being mentally capable of handling it herself. She ended up in a Psych hospital for about a year after having our 4th child so I became Mr. Mom of a 1,2,3,&4 year old in the matter of a day. She never was quite the same after the birth of our last child.

@alexanderhamilton8585 10 месяцев назад

I’ve got two stories of my own personal experience that are right equally bad as your example

@jasonBGI 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for what you did for your children.

@erko78 10 месяцев назад

@@alexanderhamilton8585I’d love to hear your stories too. Seriously hearing stories like this from other men makes me understand I’m not alone in experiencing sad and crappy times due to crazy and narcissistic women.

@erko78 10 месяцев назад

What happened for her to end up in a psych ward? And how did she screw you over in the end? Let me guess, got bored and find someone else? Or broke up with you but is now with someone else? It seems women do this way more than men do. They seem to break up families and cause heartache with not much care.

@Handleitnow933 10 месяцев назад

I’d happily stay home with my daughter. Same thing happened to I got kicked after 10 years. The process was very depressing. I was gaslighted, confused, lied to in route to separation. I’d make any sacrifice to release her pressures and when I quit doing it, I was no longer useful. I blame it on social media and her slutty friends.

@PushingThroughThePain 10 месяцев назад

When I called my wife out for sleeping with another man, she literally used her gender as her validation for violating that mutual boundary

@jasonBGI 10 месяцев назад

Your ex-wife, surely Nathan?

@jamesjonnes 10 месяцев назад

@@jasonBGI One shouldn't leave a relationship just because of cheating if there are children involved. Solve the problems.

@erko78 10 месяцев назад

@kippkipper4126why do you say that other than the obvious? Just curious not disagreeing with you. In some situations like being married and together for a while or married with kids it’s hard to just leave without trying to forgive and work it out. But more and more life experiences tells me even in those situations you just gotta leave. Women like that don’t deserve a good life nor forgiveness. Women who cheat ALWAYS end up ruining their own life and becoming miserable for the remainder of their life.

@deadbutmoving 10 месяцев назад

@@jamesjonnes There is no problem to solve. For one reason or another she lacks self-control and she likes sleeping with other men. There is nothing you can or should do to change that, and if you try, you are a control freak. You either accept people as they are, or you leave. Trying to make excuses for others or for yourself is manipulative and dishonest, it just creates 10x more problems down the road and rarely ends up well. If you choose to be with a horrible person, you lose the right to complain. I can only speak for myself and my life experience, but being stuck in a relationship with a horrible person will not end up well for her, me, or the kids. Be honest with yourself, if you can't accept someone like this, then trying to keep a marriage just for the kids is a VERY bad idea. Divorce is not good for the kids, but them growing up in a toxic relationship is much worse.

@edheldude 10 месяцев назад

@@jamesjonnesThere's nothing to solve after a woman cheats. It's premeditated and she has no respect for the man. Your turn is over and she's back on the streets.

@errorerror1337 10 месяцев назад

When you point out a pattern to a woman and her knee jerk reply is "this is different from those other times" you know she is completely dodging all accountability and just being manipulative. I learned this the hard way.

@spilledit 7 месяцев назад

Most of us learn the hard way because the women we trusted were always gaslighting us to cover for their own sins. Moms, grandma's, sisters, and aunts. They all lied to us when we were kids

@matejb2 10 месяцев назад

It happened to me multiple times, that my wife did something wrong, but when i confronted her, she started crying...in the end i had to apologise to her for making her sad and of course she won the arrangement. Women can be professional manipulators, this is also why we constantly only hear about women problems. The fact that we have to solve all women problems and have to be aware of women's feelings, but men's problems and feelings are not important with all these equality talks is staggering. Both genders should be represented equally. Both partners have to look inside themselves and try to find the problem why something isn't working instead of constantly blaming the other person.

@Eric-dd8bk 10 месяцев назад

No wmn aren't professional manipulators. They just have their bars low. Imagine a mn doing the same thing. The whole world will be pointing finger at the guy. It's not that wmn are better manipulators. The whole world just pampers to them. That's what it is.

@_6-6_ 10 месяцев назад

This just makes me a bit depressed as a man. Trying to stay hopeful. How many women are out there who will actually develop these skills? I’m not perfect either but after 4 relationships of broken women I just can’t really seem to tell them apart. They’re really good at putting on a mask

@JH-nv2ue 10 месяцев назад

Almost none of them buddy. At least not in our lifetimes. The scales are so topped in favor of women in every aspect of society that they don’t have to take accountability. If the simp men would just leave them alone this would speed things up drastically.

@jamesjonnes 10 месяцев назад

The culture needs to change. Help spread videos like this one if you want women to change.

@Savvynomad225 10 месяцев назад

A really really small percentage. To grasp these concepts, a person needs to be humble and willing to take accountability. I have had a similar experience to yours, I can’t tell which women are monsters because of their mask, and it’s caused me to have horrible experiences with relationships. I want to hope for better, but I’m not willing to risk my peace and stability to try and find out if there’s a good one who isn’t wearing a mask anymore.

@mrsherwood2599 10 месяцев назад

How many women- answer: 8.

@wolfsomething 10 месяцев назад

Sadly you need redpill women. Because religion isn't enough anymore.

@diltberg9627 7 месяцев назад

I love how you just confirmed everything I already knew and it is why I'm never getting married

@dnnicoletti 8 месяцев назад

As a divorced man that eventually SUCCEEDED in rebuilding my relationship after 7 years of separation, I can confirm that couples therapy never helped. The flip came when I realized that my partner and I both lacked the skills discussed in this video. An effective coach taught me to become independent first, and then become an absolute performer in my communications. Equality is not needed. A partner's conscious participation in the process of change not even needed. I know a lot of people here will say, "not with my partner" but such flawed mental framework is actually why open communication doesn't seem to work.

@TheNate206 10 месяцев назад

The toughest thing you can do is look at yourself in the mirror without running away, make excuses, or justifications. Looking at 'what is' with tremendous honesty. Im a man and it's tough to admit the selfishness and selfcentered ness in our lives. Ive faced alot of that in my own life. Walls is absolutely the correct word.

@inconnu4961 8 месяцев назад

Its referred to as 'our shadow' and yes it is VERY tough. this is probably the main reason why men numb themselves with alcohol & drugs. I feel your pain, bro, because I am here with you!

@smokingcrab2290 7 месяцев назад

It's not hard for me to look in the mirror anymore because I understand that self-improvement is freedom. Yeah I'm going to see things that are ugly and things that I don't want to see, but the feeling of breaking those chains by dealing with those problems is an incredible feeling, because I know I'm becoming the person I was meant to be. That's our purpose

@TheNate206 7 месяцев назад

@@smokingcrab2290It is indeed freedom. Only way to shift. Only way out is in. Breaking those chains.

@starguy2718 10 месяцев назад

"The Manipulated Man", by Esther Vilar, 1971 Very interesting book, I recommend it.

@erko78 10 месяцев назад

What’s it about? 50 years is a long time could it still be relevant to todays society?

@interestingtimes6242 10 месяцев назад

@@erko78it’s cutting edge, even today. Parts are not so relevant, but the relevant is as fresh as this mornings bread.

@shockmarkets7384 10 месяцев назад

I'd have to rate these as the most profound words I've ever heard from a woman's lips. Thank you. I asked for help this morning, on how to educate my daughter about these things, and here you are. You're amazing. You were Gods number one pick to help me out.

@Runawayslave2023 10 месяцев назад

I heard Andrew Huberman state that the Amygdala (the fear and panic center of the Brian) has androgen receptors. A man with high testosterone is rather fearless and sometimes does reckless things (see teenage boys). Due to their lower testosterone Women are afraid most of the time. I think this explains the emasculating behavior and other bad behaviors of women. They are subconsciously seeking safety, protection and provision.

@IBNED 3 месяца назад

A could be...once you realize this what do you do about it?

@killert-cell9943 2 месяца назад

Except somehow it must have served them well in the past, now?? It’s the death of the west.

@MiteshDamania 10 месяцев назад

The sabatoging the husband sounds like narcissism. Guys, no contact ever again with a narcassist.

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

With our walls up, all women are narcissists.

@nycepapi 10 месяцев назад

@@thehappywifeschool THIS, no one else has said this but this is exactly it

@electrifyingct4303 10 месяцев назад

@thehappywifeschool Very good answer. I have come to the understanding that the man in a relationship with a woman with her walls up turns both the man & woman into highly functioning narcissistic messes. Very very just recently, I have overcome such unbelievable trauma and have finally gotten to the feeling of being able to breathe again for the first time in 15 years. I don't think Dr. Ramani has anymore creditability at all.

@jasonBGI 10 месяцев назад

@@electrifyingct4303Dr. Ramen Noodles is a clown.

@erko78 10 месяцев назад

@@thehappywifeschoolso what do we do with that information?

@jamesjonnes 10 месяцев назад

This is the most important video I've seen in months. This should go viral.

@Shalamehhh 10 месяцев назад

wow this is really honest and empathy inducing

@middlec8861 10 месяцев назад

Amen sister, I’m glad you’ve seen the light… now I wonder how long it’ll take for the rest of womanhood to see the light?

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for watching and for your comment. I don't know how long it will take for other women to see the light, but I am not going anywhere. I will keep sharing truth for the women and men I can help.

@boondoggle4820 10 месяцев назад

I have a buddy who loves to remark that relationships and marriages don’t work, but I think that the real problem is what people believe and how they’re socialized. With the right people with the right attitudes and beliefs, it absolutely can work, but those are so extraordinarily rare in this country.

@spilledit 7 месяцев назад

...so it doesn't work.

@Bookstorewalla 10 месяцев назад

@9:26 As a Steel Magnolia now in full recovery, you speak the truth. Thank you so much!!!!! They say, "Behind every great man is a great woman." For years I've been saying, "Behind every near great man is a woman cutting him off at the knees!"

@user-wr2zs2dr4y 10 месяцев назад

Interdependence did work in my grandparents day. That is because my Grandmother took responsibility for her stuff. She did what she needed to do. And my Grandfather took responsibility for his stuff. They both were adults where as today Adults want to act like kids were they have all of the actions of adults however none of the accountability.

@laurencelance586 10 месяцев назад

WOW!!! I've NEVER heard anything like this, but it's as if a curtain rises and now some very ugly truths are suddenly in the sunlight. I am almost certainly older than probably everyone else here, and I've seen these patterns played out over, and over, and over again. And then end result of these patterns is misery. Bravo for having the insight and the courage to bring this forward!

@jeffcauhape6880 10 месяцев назад

My God ... to hear that so well laid out, and from a woman who offers explanations but not excuses... Given the problems and bad behavior you describe, can you see why so many men have just decided it isn't worth it and are going there own way?

@Arven8 10 месяцев назад

Damn, you are dropping some real truth bombs. I admire your honesty and vulnerability. It makes me like and trust you more. Best of luck on your channel. I hope it takes off. It deserves to.

@SplendidMisanthropy 6 месяцев назад

It‘s so refreshing to hear all this from a woman. You obviously went through with introspection thoroughly. Superb self-awareness there!

@PhantomVortex 9 месяцев назад

This video is widely accurate. These were pretty much discussions i tried to have with my wife. She never said F U to my face, if she didn't agree with something, she would just do it behind my back. Then she would hold the fact it was hard for me to trust her against me. In turn she would double down because I didn't fully trust her. So I had to end things because she felt like there was nothing she could do to improve the relationship.

@artman2119 9 месяцев назад

You are peeling away the primal icy bottom-line reasons why folks seek relationships with “others.” In general, people’s morals are as broad and flexible as their options are. Machiavelli would only smile at these surface struggles and pretenses of the Ego.

@zerstorer335 7 месяцев назад

The aspect of “as soon as I don’t want to respect boundaries or keep my word and as soon as I think I’m right, F#&@ YOU” is a MAJOR problem in our society AS A WHOLE, right now. We don’t have to go far to find someone who, if something happened to them or someone they liked, they would say it was a terrible thing that should never be done. But when they think they’re in the right and they want to do it, all the excuses for why it’s okay for THEM to do this terrible thing start coming out. For a while, I’ve been noticing that a lot of people’s definition of “justice” can be described, NOT as wanting fair treatment, but rather as them wanting their turn to be the jerk who’s mistreating others. They don’t want to be restrained within the boundaries that we say are necessary for a fair, just society.

@navadawilliams4413 7 месяцев назад

Some ladies might say that she is bias ..... But she literally deserves a crown.... I have never heard a woman hit the nail on the head like this before

@mztokyo7630 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for your honesty and ability to recognize your own faults. Lying to ourselves is not productive. All of us have faults. It’s hard to be perfect.

@aaronsinspirationdaily4896 7 месяцев назад

My lovely wife and I had a fantastic interdependent relationship. It was amazing. She died. I have been looking for it again, can’t find it because the women are like what you have described. I’m astounded, I had no idea so many were so terrible at it. One woman I fell for I later came to realise was the greatest hypocrite I’ve ever met in my life, male or female.

@christys.3912 Месяц назад

I'm sorry for your loss.

@ashinch0r 10 месяцев назад

Whoa, I did not expect the stark reality to actually be spoken here.

@Hhbdr 7 месяцев назад

So so true. I have finally given my wife what she wants. Freedom from me. I stay away from her all hours of the day. 4 mos now. She doesn't even notice. She wants it this way. I'm done. First chance I get where I'm not to blame, I'm gone.

@phixeus 8 месяцев назад

I'm so grateful that Google's algorithm sent this my way. I really watched this video with my jaw hanging open, the whole damn thing. I have never heard a lady speak such powerful truths. Men know these things, and we talk about them all the time, but we know better than to ever say it to women. It is such a ray of hope to hear women acknowledge their true nature. Only in acknowledging the truth of it, can one take responsibility, be accountable, and attempt to regulate emotions and behaviors to the benefit of the entire family unit. I look forward to seeing more of your content, well done.

@patrickbracken7580 7 месяцев назад

Thank you. I've watched a few of your videos and have been brought to tears. You have described perfectly what I have been suffering through. You are a brilliant woman in many ways. I love my wife very much, and I wish there was a safe way for me to introduce her to your videos because I really believe she could learn a lot from them and hopefully grow from them as you obviously have. God bless you and keep up your amazing work. Thank you for helping me through the healing process, and thank you for helping me to feel confident about what I thought I understood but second guessed it from being told all the time that I was the problem.

@louis-sebhamelin6421 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for doing this, for your honesty about yourself and other women. It helps me understand, accept and grow stronger! Keep going the world needs you!

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the support and encouragement. More truth to come!

@ianarn 6 месяцев назад

I’m afraid you’re right and women’s word has become progressively worse unfortunately!

@jaredsummers2460 10 месяцев назад

So good, thank you! Every women needs to hear this.

@spilledit 7 месяцев назад

They don't care

@longnamenocansayy 9 месяцев назад

i have listened to some of your vids. and it is easy for me as a man to agree with you. i have 2 sisters and an ex wife, so i have some experience dealing with the opposite sex. it appears to me that women are the way they are, because there is no reason to change. as you have admitted to in another video, you were operating on the wrong side until you changed. or as my sister told me, she didn't want to dominate, but she did want to try to dominate. once her husband held his stance and she was put in her place she felt that was all that was necessary. eventually my sister got her divorce, even though she had a husband who was able to hold his place. she knew what she was doing when she did it, but the divorce still occured. so it takes more than self realization on the woman's part. there is something put into place that you found and applied, that my sister didn't find, and my ex-wife was never interested in even looking for. it's an important question because our whole society depends on strong families, and our families are not doing too good right now. marriages are on the decline, not because women don't want babies. all women were built physically to have babies and nurture. marriages are on the decline because men do not see value in being married. or to put it another way, men do not see value in marrying women who have no morals or ethics.

@jimbrown4640 10 месяцев назад

Men will never say, “You said this and it hurts me.” Never.

10 месяцев назад

Of course not! If someone takes a shot at you and misses, you don't hand them _more_ ammunition. That would be kinda dumb.

@MarkThomasPorter 10 месяцев назад

Oh, I have. My ex-girlfriend & my mother have pretty much always responded in exactly the same ways described in the video. Best I could get for validation/reaction was that I was always at least 50% at fault in some way for her actions.

@oambitiousone7100 9 месяцев назад

Wrong.

@wyleecoyotee4252 8 месяцев назад

Yes they, the men, absolutely do say that.

@jimbrown4640 8 месяцев назад

@@wyleecoyotee4252 Gay men? Trans men maybe. But average men learn to never give women MORE ammunition to hit us with.

@marq-paullarose378 2 месяца назад

I have watched many of her videos, and it is uncanny to me how accurate she is. It is almost like she is describing my own now failed marriage. Especially this message when she revealed that she didn’t want her husband to succeed because she was afraid that he would then leave her. This precisely happened to me, and I let it happen.

@TrebizondMusic-cm6fp 8 месяцев назад

So much advice about "relationships" is built on the dogma of identical interchangeability between men and women. It's a sandy foundation.

@racefast64 10 месяцев назад

First, a quick introduction. I'm a Veteran that started my trauma work in 2016. It's a continues journey of addressing PTSD symptoms, character defects and a number of other areas that seem to all overlap. For the last 7 years, 6 have been focused on mental health that's it. I recently came across your channel, and I connect with the message. I'd take up to much space naming books read, ted talks watched, different types of therapy worked with, all covering the complexity with my particular issues and how to pull it all together so I can function with minimal problems. All the people you've mentioned and gave your points of views are just that. I haven't found one person that has all the answers, for me anyway. For example, the insight and path you share has given me some clarity that I missed from others. I think all the information and insights came in a random pattern and applied even more randomly. the cognitive processing and behavioral insight are much easier for me than coming to terms with being human. Checking my behavior and my part in things works much smoother when we're spiritually full and self-accepting. Thank you for your perceptive and for sharing your journey.

@MartialistKS 10 месяцев назад

As a man who's always wanted a family of my own parts of this video were mildly terrifying because you said the quiet parts out loud. Kudos to you for that. Near the end though what you described regarding why women can make for poor partners I would call poor attachment. The inability to meet your own needs (or even know what they are), or to ask for what you need from others directly, being subversive to the goals of those around us because we believe (on some level) if they succeed we will lose them, to me these all sound like poor attachment.

@james618 10 месяцев назад

I just found your channel and I like it. Subscribed. It's refreshing to get confirmation on my observations instead of being gaslighted. 👍

@no5x937 10 месяцев назад

This lady is 100% correct on all points. The only thing keeping all women from having a bounty on their heads is their vajayay! You described my ex-wife perfectly.

@Veritas05 10 месяцев назад

Preach! I am so thankful for your channel.

@Trizzer89 10 месяцев назад

I cant even imagine the concept of not keeping my word

@CruceEntertainment 9 месяцев назад

This is why you should not get into a relationship just to be in a relationship. All you are doing is looking for drama. The person you develop a relationship with should share a ton of things and interests with you. Whatever it is. Golf. Tennis. Arts. Music. Books. Food. Travel. So many things. Not just sex and physical attraction. If you link up just on the physical, you will most likely split up before too long, and you are just wasting your time and possibly setting yourself up for some big long term headaches.

@neohermitist 10 месяцев назад

It will be interesting to see how a woman goes from A to B, from emasculating to happy wife. I mentioned to my wife last night that maybe a good definition of happiness is having a good relationship with one's self.

@JH-nv2ue 10 месяцев назад

Your videos are SO refreshing Karen! It’s so nice to see a woman tell it the way it is about women. Myself and a lot of men know exactly what the real M.O. is and I’m tired of the BS games. Good GOD you killed it on this one!!💪🏻💪🏻

@brianwenzel8791 10 месяцев назад

Most men are tired of modern day women's BS mind games, just a fact of life, not many females are real anymore, the happily married couple of our ancestors is a fairy tale dream now days. It's sad, but it just doesn't seem to exist anywhere in modern times. It's no wonder why a lot of men choose to be single. What normal guy wants to be put through stressful, irrational, ill logic, walking on egg shells, chaotic drama, that most women love to create. Finding one that's not bat FN crazy is literally the needle in the hay stack. Good luck guys..

@JH-nv2ue 10 месяцев назад

@@brianwenzel8791 I don’t necessarily think they’re crazy. They have a thirst for power and when emotions get involved they’re downright mean.

@thehappywifeschool 10 месяцев назад

@JH-nv2ue Thank you for watching and supporting my channel!

@booboobear6490 10 месяцев назад

Great insight Karyn! You need to alocate time to expanding!(by sending invitations to other vlogers to do collaborations)your messages are unique and much needed.❤

@A_JoshOfAllTrades 10 месяцев назад

I know I've only met you today, but I have something to confess... 11:05-11:25 were the best 20 seconds I've experienced in my 28 years of life lol! The weight of that statement alone was extremely heavy.

@jdwalz 10 месяцев назад

I've watched most of your videos and in each one there is usually a sound bite that is profound, this video had you saying this: "I didn't want to support my husband because if I did, he might become successful and leave me." My wife has done this all throughout our marriage, and then would criticize me for not being more successful, and now I wonder if she even knows that she is afraid of being left alone. The irony is that I wouldn't leave her, but at least I understand this puzzling aspect of our relationship, and thank you.

@martincoronado9232 10 месяцев назад

It is actually funny that you mention that because now I see what other issues can come in with this notion of he will leave me if he gets better. It starts with this and I heard Dr. Laura speak to a woman about a similar issue many years ago. in short, Dr. Laura caused the woman to admit that if her husband got better, I think she meant stop being an idiot and getting better in his life then he would want someone who is better and Dr. Little Laura made the woman admit that and my point is that she is not wrong, but the big issue is are women willing to step up and become better wives if their husband is getting better in life?

@spilledit 7 месяцев назад

Also, they assume you would do the same to them that they would to you. Constantly look for better options and leave when it suits them.

@migueld5227 8 месяцев назад

Wow! Finally. This is the first, and probably last, time I have ever heard a woman speak truthfully and honestly about how and what women are while taking full accountability. I have never heard such honesty and witness such accountability from a woman. Everything said here is what men already know but are too beaten down to admit. I truly respect you for acknowledging these things.

@alphascentar6246 8 месяцев назад

I've developed a little thought about relationships, it goes like this. Think of the concept of a what they call in business, a manyear which is what output a person can accomplish in a year. Lets say 1 Manyear can produce 100 widgets. Therefore 2 manyears = 200 widgets. Now therefore two people working together, supporting each other, helping each other, encouraging each other, can double the output and produce 400 widgets as opposed to just the 200 widgets. Now however two people working against each other, criticizing, blaming etc. destroys productivity in half and each only produces halve of what they could working independently which would be 100 + 100 =200 and instead they can only produce halve which winds up at 50 widgets each, and that if they're lucky to get even that and one or the other gives up completely and produces nothing. So the answer is either love and support each other or risk losing everything. Love your video by the way.

@scootyburgman55 5 месяцев назад

You're great, what a good woman, keep on teaching, God bless you.

@Vid7872 10 месяцев назад

@9:31 "we are invested in keeping our husbands down and keeping them weak". Dependent? Inferior? It doesn't stop with the husband. These types of women tend to do the same with their children, especially their daughters. It's a competition with family members. She sacrifices the most, she compromised her life the most, everyone owes her. These mom's won't allow their daughters to be the fairest in the kingdom or for their sons to get a mate. Speaking of Snow White, the evil one's husband either left or died (she may have completely drained the life out of him), then, once he was out of the way, set her sights on her daughter (step).

@MiteshDamania 10 месяцев назад

They are narcissists. The best strategy is no contact ever again with them. You cannot change them. They will always be predators and parasites.

@jasonwismer2670 10 месяцев назад

My mother is like this, and I was the first son. I hate her. Despise her. If she wasn't my mother, I would never associate with her ever again. I call and visit still because I've learned over the years she's just an imperfect person with her own issues. Her hurting me was unintentional, and I'm strong enough to put the proper barriers up to make sure her mess doesn't spill to me ever again.

@MiteshDamania 10 месяцев назад

@@jasonwismer2670 she is a narcissist. There are a lot of videos on RU-vid now on how to deal with them. The best strategy is no contact ever

@jamesjonnes 10 месяцев назад

They will destroy everyone that they can. Everyone.

@nomansland6376 7 месяцев назад

..and this is why I’m single at 50. You just described every woman I’ve ever known or seen. It only gets worse as they get older. Chased by their own bad decisions with complete lack of accountability following them. Everything blame shifted to someone else. The next guy just as bad as the one before.. and you’re next. The venus fly trap.

@christys.3912 Месяц назад

Yea if they don't see it by 30ish they probably wont until it's too late and they've destroyed everything in their lives.

@williamclayton9566 10 месяцев назад

Bingo!!!! Have you heard of Briffault's Law? Accountability = Women's kryptonite.

@balladbuster5109 7 месяцев назад

Women only bother to see the world for what it is when their beauty wanes. None of what she said will help you with women. It's best to have very low expectations and never give her any power to do anything that will lead to your demise.

@thevisitor1012 2 месяца назад

@@balladbuster5109 So basically never marry, and only engage in one night stands. Cause that's the most practical way of doing this.

@ElHolyBoy 10 месяцев назад

I appreciate you. Thank you for being honest.

@Matt_Stark 8 месяцев назад

You're awesome. Love your channel. You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear this content.

@passthegravy7688 10 месяцев назад

My wife wasnt anything like what she described.

@passthegravy7688 10 месяцев назад

I'm a man. She is really down on women. If women were really like this then men would not marry.

@fostever 6 месяцев назад

Oh wow! You just opened my eyes to what my ex used to do! When I succeeded at something she downplayed it, like my music successes and when I tried sales for the first time, no support, in fact, residence.

@youflatscreentube 10 месяцев назад

Your openness was refreshing.

@ilovecolumbia 7 месяцев назад

It is scary how much I don't know about women, the things that you expressed in this video touched my heart. It made me think about what I can do differently or how I can communicate when I see a partner lose her emotional control or where the manipulation is coming from, and then it is making me think about some of the internal qualities in a potential partner that I should be looking for. Thank you for your channel, thank you very much.

@larrylorimer3065 6 месяцев назад

I was married for 28 years and never knew who I was really married too all that time. In 13 years of Court is when I found out all the deceit and the truths started to flow. I was glad to be rid of the drama than.

@1bigfatslob 6 месяцев назад

So spot on again, you read my mind and have hidden cameras in my home !

@geraldfranklin6049 10 месяцев назад

I just came across your page this morning. Subscribed and watching more

@sifublack192 10 месяцев назад

Great video! The insight and information was top notch!

@MrListen2meplez 9 месяцев назад

Honest helpful advice…👍

@Trizzer89 10 месяцев назад

The only part of interdependence I really ask for is personal responsibility. But that seems to be in very short supply these days

@jameswilson1522 6 месяцев назад

Absolutely Incredible ! Thank you.. Thank You. .Thank You.. Thank You ! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

@seaotter72 6 месяцев назад

Thank God for your information I always knew I wasn't crazy for my 22 year marriage not working out.Yes I wasn't perfect either but it helps unpack her mindset that was our marriage.

@bruceprigge5212 4 месяца назад

Thank you! :)

@user-xd2nb8bl3h 6 месяцев назад

I never thought I would ever hear a woman say what you have said in this video. Thank you for you empathy toward men.

@sbai4319 8 месяцев назад

This sounds like biology. I have learned two things in 19 years of marriage. One is that woman speak is not what is said as much as the nuance of what lies underneath it. It takes two partners who support each other and champion each other to bring life and love to the marriage!

@LastRebel1978 7 месяцев назад

Best one yet. Thanks for exposing the truth even though most will not heed……

@michaelgrahamdesigns 10 месяцев назад

Incredible. 🙏🏽

@krshnr 10 месяцев назад

Wife: "Yes, that's what I said BUT that's NOT what I meant." Husband: "I'm sorry dear, I was going my what I heard you say while not taking into account to what you meant."

@PushingThroughThePain 10 месяцев назад

Shoot... This describes my ex wife's behaviors to a T. It also makes me lose hope in finding a better woman; it's like the relationship I long for is not possible

@JH-nv2ue 10 месяцев назад

That’s because it’s not buddy. You can have a great relationship if you find that needle in a haystack but you will most likely NEVER have the relationship you long for.

@mrsherwood2599 10 месяцев назад

The answer is to cleanly let go of that illusion.

@mrbugman67 6 месяцев назад

The fairytale Disney and hallmark love stories aren't real. Hardest realization of my adult life.

@JoshWashington 10 месяцев назад

Fair amount of introspection right here.

@allinredriskstrategies 10 месяцев назад

Foremost, thanks Karyn for having the courage and humility to admit these truths about women. I truly believe that that happy marriages are the antedote to today's societal ills. Thank you for being an inspirational model for other women! Now for just a little bit of a critique... I absolutely disagree with the TITLE of this video. No, the Interdependent model isn't flawed...women are flawed! If women cannot follow this obviously healthy model, then men going their own way is the next best model to follow.

@stephenkilpatrick807 6 месяцев назад

Your observations are perfect. It looks like (judging from the comments below) most of your viewers are men. That is too bad. Such a huge missed opportunity because LOTS of women could benefit from your lessons.

@PureLace 10 месяцев назад

Amazing. 👏

@MrFrobbo 10 месяцев назад

In my experience, all very true, 'children'. But 'children' can be tamed and moulded if the man has high enough SMV and is redpilled, submission is forthcoming.

@Runawayslave2023 10 месяцев назад

Please keep posting these videos. Perhaps a podcast.