I hear this song, and it’s so reminiscent of my great-grandmother’s funeral. It was such a sad day for my family, but I was particularly impacted by her death, because there was so much I wanted to learn about her. She spent the last years of her life slowly dying and losing her mind to dementia. She couldn’t have recognized anyone, much less her own reflection, but I wish I was able to see her once more, and really know this mysterious person before she left to be with her husband again. I miss you, Grandma.
I'm sorry for your loss, I lost my great-grandmother to dementia as well about two months ago, I never knew her name, strangely. Nobody had said or told me, so I reluctantly asked my father, hoping to not make him feel sad. But he told me, her name was sheila! :) Your grandma is looking out for you at all times, proud.
I see the player you mean. [Player Name]? Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts. That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game. I like this player. It played well. It did not give up. It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen. That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game. Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen. They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons. What did this player dream? This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter. Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen? It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the [scrambled], and created a [scrambled] for [scrambled], in the [scrambled]. It cannot read that thought. No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game. Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind? Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes. But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality. To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere. Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear. It reads our thoughts. Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely [scrambled] and [scrambled], I wish to tell them that they are [scrambled] in the [scrambled]. They see so little of reality, in their long dream. And yet they play the game. But it would be so easy to tell them... Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living. I will not tell the player how to live. The player is growing restless. I will tell the player a story. But not the truth. No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance. Give it a body, again. Yes. Player... Use its name. [Player Name]. Player of games. Good. Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things. Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change. We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a player. The player was you, [Player Name]. Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away. Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience. Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story. Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third. Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen. Let's go back. The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body. And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream. And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love. You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love. Let's go further back. The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by... Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons". Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars". Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen. You are the player, reading words... Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive You. You. You are alive. and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream and the universe said I love you and the universe said you have played the game well and the universe said everything you need is within you and the universe said you are stronger than you know and the universe said you are the daylight and the universe said you are the night and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you and the universe said the light you seek is within you and the universe said you are not alone and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code and the universe said I love you because you are love. And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love. You are the player. Wake up.
@@timeisahorse114 thanks I'm glad many people relate to what I said, I'm usually never able to out my thought into words like I did. I was inspired that day :D
I remember building my first minecraft world to this song. I never knew the name of it until I stumbled upon it years ago. Hearing it now brings back all the times I would play this game non stop. Building houses, chilling with friends, just playing the night away. I haven’t played minecraft in years but I always comeback to this song. There is something so nostalgic about. It feels familiar like home. I miss it. I miss those simple days.
Back when I was in elementary school, I practically knew everyone in my grade, And they all knew me. We all treated each other as friends, and had a lot of fun just being little kids. When middle school rolled in, a lot of them just became people I knew, no longer 'friends' of course I'd share conversations with some of them from time to time, but nothing more. I still had a fairly large group that I hung out with, and we had some fun being young getting to play video games with each other every weekend. Then high school started, and the group of people I called 'friends' slimmed down even more, and those that I didn't consider 'friends' never spoke to me after middle school. nothing interesting would happen, but every weekend or so we'd play video games together. By the end of my second year of high school, half of my friends either moved to another school, or dropped out completely, after that there were about 4-5 people I knew on a personnel level, and we would chat at lunch every day, and do the usual playing of video games every now and then. but other than that, nothing much happened. and I started to think to myself "All these people I used to know, probably don't even know me anymore." and I knew, that me and my friends were started to drift apart, as the cruel realization of life settled in, and in my 3rd year, I have about 2 friends that I know very well, things have been moving slow and don't seem like they'll speed up anytime soon, when I listen to this music, it makes me think about all the memories I had with my groups of friends all the way back to when I meet my first friend. It may seem like I'm just typing stuff just because I can, but after all these years that realization of getting older never left me, I'm now 16 about to turn 17, and thing have never seemed so distant, that last time I talked to one of my good friends was a couple of months ago, and he had moved to another school, after I finished talking with him, I slowly remembered all the nights me and him stayed up until 3AM playing games while in a discord call. I'll never forget the time I spent with the people I call Friends.
Sigh. The same thing’s happening to me. I’m not as old as you are but the old times where me and my class was big and we all knew each other and we’d(mostly the boys. We still talked to the girls a lot tho.) all hang out on field trips, so dumb stuff, make our teacher mad, go places and have fun, and just overall, life life to the fullest. Now I just sit in my room everyday wishing that I could go back to those old times. Also happy early birthday, I hope you have a good one!
I feel exactly as you, but now older. Im 21 and have lost pretty much almost all my school friends and am down to just a select few, one who fights with me on the regular, another that is decent to be with, the third is in Florida for underwater welding and dont know when he will come back to visit. I still remember having a good handful of real life friends and alot of friends online and they all came and went, but the most I knew was on a minecraft server called McGodWorld. For a number of reasons most notably funding & people moving on in life, it lost players and eventually went offline. Thankfully the co owner made a discord reunion server after me and a few others have donated to the old enjin website to stay on all the way from 2016-now trying to gather up as many old players/friends as we could and invite them to the discord. We ended up inviting and finding up to 107 players now on it, including one of the last ones was two girls I used to play with a long time ago and found them on Instagram after finding years later that one of them tried to reach out to me on the old website when I finally found the password to it. Not a day goes by i think of it all, and all of the friends and memories and things I enjoyed irl that are all gone now. As for where I'm at right now, I was busy with school band until the last quarter of my senior year when covid came and took my chances of getting to goto the senior picnic or everyone finally noticing me with my rewards. Technically had 3 jobs total. Assembly line job, IT job, and Lowes. Still haven't found what exactly I'm passionate for other than a little music here and there. It was all stolen from me, I was very suicidal since and got help but im still not where I want to be. I feel so helpless and hopeless going forward, and don't know what to really do anymore. -Jake
I came here to just listen to music... now I'm reliving memories... I'm back to when I was young back to when I was happy. this is amazing thank you for making this
Instead of giving me an extestensial crises, I could imagine myself in the picture sitting in the water feeling the sand, enjoying God's creations, watching the sunrise, and feeling like i was in my happy place. and then i realized it was sunset. And i thought sunsets are kinda sad, but then i realized i could now see the stars! I felt like my life was perfect. Then the aun rose and i felt like i was in paredice. This music accually just made me happy XD Also, ya i have a very big imagination especialy when i listen to music XD
this is the kind of thing i'll listen to when i'm sad, to dredge up all the emotions i hide from the world. when i start a story i know will be sad, i listen to this. and when i'm at the end, with tears streaming down my face, i'm glad this is what i chose. because sometimes its the sad songs that you want the most. and this is that song.
Existentialism isn't something you should fear, it's sane to fear the inevitable, we may not leave behind a legacy, but when those we love remember us, that is the most we can expect out of life and what we should strive for. I'm young and my views may change in the future but I believe, that is the most rational thing we could want. Be your best self and now one can take that away
Don't try to "fit in". Even if nobody understands you. Your heart is your compass. Don't betray it...les you want to go in circles down the void. And those whoc few people come back from the void carry emptiness in their heart.
this really feels like no breathing. feels like being pushed deep, like trying to reach the surface. the intensity of that and just stuck at the same time.
This song describes to me the feel of being forgotten, or to completely vanish from existence. Dying ultimately. Dying physically is one thing, but you still live on in other people memories or things you did and left behind in your life on earth. But someday, everyone who knew you, made memories with you, shared the same time on this planet with you will die too - so all memories of your existence and the memories that were made with you will die too. And someday all the things you left behind on this planet will fade and it's like you never really existed. The ultimate death of a being.
wow, this song is such a stress reliever. it makes me remember when i was young, and lived in my childhood home still, thinking; what could possibly go wrong?
You can almost hear the sound of the computer slowly coming to life as the fan begins to work, as the sound footsteps echo out in the cold snow sounded by land. From the sound of animals in fields of green to the depths of caves and melting seas of the neither, there remains a place where silence can be felt, from the ground to the winds-of-nothing, where no sun bathes the world in color, nor the glow of the moon that lures you to sleep, where only the end shall remain
Honestly, I dont feel a lot of existential dread, and instead I feel a lot of peace. Thank you for this, its beautiful ❤ Take care my friend, wherever you are
Sometimes we fear staring into the void so much that we forget how beautiful it is. Next time you feel that itch to take a look into the infinite darkness, do it. Do it with courage, do it out of love, for your fellow humans, for yourself. Life is full of hidden treasures, but you need to look in the hardest places to find them, to find yourself.
Life is strange even when despair is upon you and there seems like there’s nothing you can do about it you try to see the good and the beautiful things in life we have made heaven a hell to live in people are getting more ignorant and there’s too many of us but even with all of the death and torture around us there is still beauty that manifests itself in love and nature it’s something we should appreciate more because there isn’t much left to appreciate
I probably should have felt horrible, as emotionally as I did physically. It was such a quick yet final decision, I probably should have felt at least a little bit of regret. I probably should have tried at least 1 other method before this. But, I didn't even care. I had what I wanted, everyone was finally OK. And now in her arms, for the first time since coming here, I truly felt safe.
Я закрыл глаза, и буквально оказался дома, от которого я сейчас очень далеко, я увидел до боли знакомый мне зимний лес, увидел яркую жёлтую луну, и звёзды, я почувствовал приятный холодок от зимнего ветра, почувствовал запах чистого древесного дыма, идущего из трубы на крыше, и свет, льющийся из окон моего дома, я вспомнил свою умершую мать, я вспомнил её любимую машину, я вспомнил как я любил и до сих пор люблю просто лечь в сугроб и смотреть в небо... Эта музыка подняла меня с колен, спасибо, спасибо...
_Everything changes from time to time, so does yourself and the humanity. Back then, when it was a simpler time, when I was young, imagniative and never needs to worry about the soical relations between each other, as there isn't anything so called benifits. By progressing through life, your friends are left, your families are left, your lover is left, you even sometimes lose yourself. You repeat the normal routine for day and day, hoping one day you can reach to the top. Life becomes miserable at this point. You wanted to end your life, but you can't, for you still have dreams and wishes. So you dig and dig and dig, mindlessly dig. Afterall, the hole we dug are the same hole dug by our ascendence. Until then, everyone has left you for no reason. You begin to question yourself, trying to take your life again, but you still can't. Then a mind came to you, what if you take others instead? Let the others take the same fate as yours?_ *There is no return.*
For the Jeffvix-watchers. I miss you, Entity303. Whatever, how evil were you, i always loved you. I hope you are happy now, and you are with your family. 💕
