The getting lost and confused is very relatable. This happens to me a lot, like when I have to take a car for annual check up and I get confused to the point of panicking. Same with going to bank, grocery stores, or any stores really... I've always did well on standard IQ tests, like in the upper 1%, but whenever I need to navigate the neuro-typical world, I'm reduced to a complete fool. I have to pre-plan everything to a tiniest detail, otherwise I always mess up something.
I love the attitude of "Life's tough, but so am I" :) And totally feel the same about things that are like "Oh it's there" and I'm like "yeah but where exactly?!" I was recently invited to a bar to meet up with a group of people. Sensory overload guaranteed but I thought hey, some socializing could be worth it. I arrived at the bar and a lot of people were sitting outside, I didn't know anyone. So I asked where to go. They said they sit outside. I asked "but where exactly?" "At the three large tables". I checked the tables, they were all the same size and didn't make any reasonable split that would count as a group of three. So I sat there and waited for further guidance, I asked if someone could lead me to them. For almost an hour I sat outside looking at all the tables. Eventually I went inside and asked staff "I'm looking for a group that says theyre sitting at three large tables?" Staff didnt know what I meant, but a customer that was ordering beer at this moment said "I think youre looking for us" and led me to them. I tried mingling with them. They all moved to Berlin in different intervals so it was essentially expat-banter. I had nothing to contribute so I asked them questions like "What is the biggest surprise for you after moving here?" and stuff like that. SO kicked in shortly thereafter and I basically just kept sipping my beer and looking at it trying to avoid meltdown/shutdown while anger boiled inside me that these people must've seen me sitting there like an idiot for an hour and nobody thought "hey let's wave her over". Luckily, they closed the outside section and moved patrons inside, which required a vaccination proof and despite being vaccinated, I didnt have proof with me so I took the chance to leave. Nobody even said goodbye or courtesy formulas such as "Ah shame you already have to go". Im curious how they viewed the situation. To them I probably was some kinda asshole for something I totally didnt realize or intend to do. Oh well :) Just thought I'd share a story that chimes into the "outer layer of disability" that make people dislike and reject us. I most certainly felt disabled in that situation. But I still am unsure whether I should call my autism a disability. Because such a situation is an exception in my life and I avoid that mostly. Being alone or being with people who understand me and show respect for my boundaries and needs I function well, to a point that people are regularly stunned when they see some ability I have. The "its just differently abled" thing is a bit worn out, but I dont think its entirely false.
I’m sorry you had to deal with a situation like that! I think a lot of the time people just don’t pay attention to each other in a way that leaves a lot of us feeling left out or ignored, it really sucks. I’ve been in very similar situations, and I always think I’m probably better of without those people in my life anyway, but it’s still so shitty. I hope you find some better people that you enjoy being around, and who’ll let you know where they actually are properly!
This is absolutely validating to me. I am currently trying to figure out how to get an autism diagnosis, but i do deal with severe anxiety. I completely agree with most of what you've said here. I don't think my anxiety would be this bad if i didn't possibly have autism. It really does sometimes feel like everyone else has a manual on how to do things, and you're stuck trying to figure it out. And while trying to figure it out, you dont want to disrupt anyone or ask for help because society has taught you that's wrong. And what if they dont help you, or you get treated like a helpless child? I'm constantly worried about people breaking into my stuff. I'll lock my vehicle 4 times and then later wonder if i did it, so then I'll lock it again. I go to leave my place, lock the door, make sure it's locked, get halfway down the street, and not remember if it's locked, and if i have time go back and check.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I stumbled upon your channel today and I've really enjoyed your videos. There are at least a dozen really insightful and impactful statements in this video that I truly value and appreciate. I could expound on and react to any number of them, but I did want to specifically comment on the topic you started around the 12:20 mark. I spend a lot of time thinking about and working on equity and inclusion in my workplace, and whether you were aware of it or not you very earnestly described the social model of disability, the effects it has on people, and the barriers that creates to having an equitable and inclusive society. How can we see the value in someone if we can't see past their struggles? Worse still, what about when society exacerbates those struggles and offers no alternative? Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.
Sooo true for me too, social strugggle all the time' try not to show it constantly misinterpretted frustration' want to retreat sometimes' and im 47' ' i feel the same way dear' saving this video in my running best of aspergers playlist.
I feel like, as long as I'm at home alone with my partner and my cat, I'm just quirky and weird and a bit extra. But as soon as I have to go to the supermarket or somewhere where there's people or someone visits us... there's that stopping record sound effect and... yeah, I'm disabled as fuck.
I'm not autistic, but my brother is severely disabled with it. He'll require care his whole life, these videos are fascinating and makes me feel a little more understanding of him (he feels pain when he speaks so never really does) . Little things like a job interview or shopping etc... I've never really pondered before 🤔 keep up the awesome work!
Have you ever looked at OCD? The thing where you have to check your door 15 times and check everything in your house multiple times 'because otherwise you'll burn your house down', that sounds more like an OCD thing. OCD and aut!sm are correlated. A common comorbidity. So it wouldn't be weird to have both.
... Not to mention airports... - I wish they could make spaces like that a little bit more autism-friendly. They don't have to turn the place upside down or anything, just slight adjustments to make things a little bit easier for people on the spectrum. I would love to travel when things get better, but I dread even thinking about going into an airport. 😵😅
11:00 if you use Google Maps and enter your starting point as the station you are in, and destination as the station you want, the route will tell you which trains to take and from which platform. I discovered this when I first visited London.
I was vaccinated in a mall, and I was wondering the same thing at the time: _where_ do I go in the mall?? In the end though, I went, and there were a ton of signs and it was easy to locate. I hope it's the same for you! 😊
I’m glad you were able to get it sorted! It ended up taking us over an hour to find the right place, but me and my partner have both had our first one now and are feeling much better for it!
I live in a small town here in Brasil and we have a good state clinic for that here. The space is there for all kinds of vaccinations and other small medical problems. I wasn't super easy, but way better than going to a mall or stadium, and I even got my first shot before my age group due to my asthma. I hope those places survive Bolsonaro.
