"Is it normal to have constant thoughts of suicide?" AKA 109 

Awesome! Thanks for the note :)

They are different and I understand that now the question s subject topics are focused on one certain area of mental health so basically that question topic relates to people who have that certain mental health issue today was very helpful to me and others with same mental health issue but to add I liked it being all different questions too

Me too! 😊

I like the old format

@@nikkimckay860 same, I've found these specific questions helpful because I have related to a lot of them, but I also like the old format with the different questions. When there were a variety of questions, I liked it because there were certain questions I hadn't thought to ask but actually needed answered, or if it didn't relate to me, I liked it cause it educated me on other mental illnesses that I didn't have much or none at all knowledge about.

Sending you so much love. It's so hard feeling like we don't have control, and seeing this as the only escape.

Ur the best!!!!!

THANK YOUUUUUU

Honestly, did you think she was going to reply to all your questions ? She only wants subscriptions and likes.

@@MarioRossi-sh4uk … these are the viewer questions from the video that she answered, with time stamps of what part of the video. They aren’t questions from me! I think Kati cares a lot about this community and wants to help as much as she can. You sound upset; I hope you are doing OK!

@@anniekate76 😭

you have high functioning depression. That's what I have.

Congrats for the bravery to post!

You're not boring, that's what you're struggling with talking. It is a feeling that effects a lot of people dealing with mental health struggles.

There should be a way to talk to a therapist and know it is actually safe.

You're a great writer at expessing yourself. This is a great therapeutic tool for you. Keep it up!

I edit for others especially when it comes to trusting anyone with my inner self and thoughts. I feel for you and hope for help to trust others eventually.

I am the same way. I can't can't focus and remember because I can't focus.

@@catlynnearkin8825 - And that lack of focus has REALLY impacted my reading. I used to always have a book on the go but for the past 3 years, I am lucky if I can get through one book a year. It sucks so badly.

it was basically harm OCD but directed at myself

@@settembrini3301 yes exactly!! that's how it was for me too

hi!! im the one with the question youre referencing and i do the exact same thing with the obsessively re-reading the dsm criteria for bpd and ocd, and a lot of other things you mentioned, like not going to school/leaving the house out of fear that youd attempt. i have a few other obsessive compulsions (balancing out my finger’s movements, checking my phone notifications, etc). should i check this out with my therapist?? im asking you because you know what its like in the head of ocd. (also thank you for this comment it was super validating)

@@cowboylikeemily hello!! of course, I'm glad you found it helpful! It's an under-recognized type of OCD so I think it's important to spread awareness. I would definitely bring up any type of suicidal thoughts in therapy, regardless of whether or not you think they're related to OCD, but I would also suggest the possibility that it could be OCD to your therapist because a lot of clinicians aren't aware of this sub-type and their minds may not immediately go there. I was terrified that I'd be hospitalized (all of my hospitalizations came later as a result of bipolar so it would have been a completely new experience at the time), and I've read about cases where that has happened and it made treatment much more difficult. OCD is actually the main issue that brought me to therapy so I specifically looked for an OCD specialist to prevent this, but if that's not one of your therapist's areas of expertise, I would just go into the session prepared with some resources to show them so that they take it seriously and recognize it as a real manifestation of OCD. If you google "suicidal OCD" quite a few websites pop up that have some great info. I would also google "Y-BOCS" which is an OCD rating scale and maybe fill it out beforehand to show your therapist. "Fear might harm self" is literally the very first obsession on the page which I think legitimizes it to others, but I also found it helpful because I had a bunch of other obsessions on the list that I was bothered by but I had no idea they could be part of OCD until I filled it out. You'll still need a proper assessment by a suitable professional to determine whether or not you have it, but I really think it's worth looking into. I never would have moved past this cycle without a diagnosis, even though I knew exactly what therapy for it would entail and in theory could have just done it alone. I would say that the validation I felt from my diagnosis and my therapist's re-assurance each session that it was "just" OCD was probably the most crucial component of my recovery because when these thoughts were treated as a genuine desire to end my life by other professionals I'd seen previously, it really just fed into my fear and made it harder to overcome. My only caveat to doing the types of research I mentioned is that you do NOT want it to become excessive and form a new compulsion as this just makes it worse. I probably filled out the Y-BOCS at least 100 times (even though my answers were the same) just to get reassurance, and I would strongly recommend doing your best to limit it right from the start if you think it could become an issue. Sorry this was so long, I just have a lot to say and there aren't many people openly talking about their experiences with this form of OCD so I think it's really important to discuss. I hope it helps/goes well if you do decide to bring it up in therapy :)

absolutely agree.

Hi Edward, I can relate to what you're saying. I suffered PTSD as a frontline worker during the pandemic and as a consequence of that was sent to a recovery programme for 2 weeks. We did stuff like art and drama therapy and group talks and a lot of buried stuff came up for me. I felt like a shaken soda bottle with all this forgotten stuff from the past bubbling up! I have a feeling that trauma from childhood sets us up for anxiety and depression later in life because something happened when we were too young to deal with it and the trauma affects our mindset and behaviour as adults. I think it's best if you discuss all your concerns with your new therapist. I'm sure your new therapist has your medical records from your previous therapist and you may not have to start all over again. Start with where you are. I wish you well with your soul work and hope that healing will come for you soon. All the best!

Check out the Crappy Childhood Fairy in RU-vid. She explains this so that you can start working on it. A great free resource. She has paid features, but I've never used them and I've benefited greatly from her insight and validation. It's hard to change our mindset of blaming ourselves, but working on it can help alot so these thoughts are fewer and farther between.

@@susie5254 Thank you ! I will definitely check out their channel that sounds really spot on.

(Hugs) How are you now Tracy?

I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience with professionals. Have you tried a support group of some sort? Getting around others in general or who have been there and are currently going through the same things can be helpful to some. Even if just finding one person who will listen. Then there’s a support system of some sort which is more personal rather than a “doctor-like” approach looking at a case or liability. This is tough and you are not alone. Please know that.

cptsd?

I know that intellectually but I get carried away when they come

Life is complicated

Allison Williams. hello nice to see your name here again how are you how are things

Thank you for this subject. It is so needed.

@@deborahfairburn6585 I'm Nikki I just want to share care support and advice to anyone who needs it hello can I just say I completely agree this AKA podcast topic is so needed right now

You really do help us Katie thank you.

@@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735 completely agree Kati has always helped me to feel calm and relaxed her voice is calming to my mind

(Not an Expert) try taking it one step at a time, find things that she likes. Take her away slowly from social media/media. Get her to have fun and forget about all that stuff. Support her with whatever she wants, but always explain the bad or good sides of things. Let her experiment, but always be there as a safety rope for her.

It sounds like you are really afraid for your kid because you love your kid so much. You want to keep doing the parenting thing the way you did when your child was little - teach the right answers, correct their mistakes. At the age of 13, though, your kid’s developmental stage means they are trying to figure out who they are on their own, apart from what their parents think they should be. This is a hard and scary transition! But it is also normal and healthy. (The cutting is not normal and healthy, of course! But the impulse to individuate is.) Another thing that is going on is that your child is in some pain. Kati always talks about self-harm as a coping strategy. It can be used to demonstrate to those around us that we are hurting inside, because we are not getting the care that we need in some way. I know you are trying your hardest! But we can’t automatically know what another person needs from us to feel better so it could be that, despite your best intentions, you are not meeting your kid’s emotional needs in the exact way their system needs you to. Cutting can also be done to make the emotional pain less because for some people cutting releases endorphins to tamp down the physical pain of the cut, which also tamps down the emotional pain. And it can be a distraction from the emotional pain to cause physical pain to focus on instead. So why is your kid in such pain? Their opinion about p*doph*les is a bit of a red flag. It’s possible they just mean that if a person has urges to hurt kids in that way but controls themself and never acts on the urges, that person should not be shunned. Fair enough, though personally I think it is important for that person to always be in the care of mental health pros and to stay away from kids for everyone’s safety. But also it is possible that your child might have been abused and that opinion is their mind’s way to make sense of what happened to them. If your kid’s therapist doesn’t already know, maybe communicate that and have the therapist ask your kid about that. Finally, is your kid non-binary, is your kid “this and that” or is that just the media? Again, your kid is discovering who they are. They might actually be non-binary. The fact that it is more commonly accepted these days to come out as non-binary is not CAUSING more kids to be non-binary. It is just giving kids who don't feel they fit into the "male" or "female" categories some language for how they feel, and showing them that others will accept them if they talk about it. Nothing bad will happen if you stop trying to convince your kid they are not non-binary. And if you keep trying to tell your kid you know what's in their head better than they do, that will make them feel misunderstood, angry and hurt. From the way you asked this question, I get the sense that your fear for them MIGHT be coming out of you in a way that they will interpret as anger and rejection. Acceptance is the very best medicine for kids who are, or think they might be, LGBTQ. Kids whose families accept them are way less likely to be depressed or attempt suicide. So please. Let them tell you who they are. Find a really calm version of yourself that just wants to be curious and listen to them. (This might require some therapy for you, or family therapy sessions to help this conversation go better. It's OK to have your own feelings about all this but your kid is not the one to process those feelings with.) Use the name and pronouns they want you to use. (A good way to get better at this is to practice talking about your kid out loud in your car using the correct name and pronouns - it helps the correct pronoun flow better when you're having a real conversation about your kid later.) And, if they change their mind later, that is OK too! Sometimes we have to live with a version of our gender for awhile and see how it feels when others respect that gender and address us the way we want, to see if it really fits. Let them update you and take any updates with the same respect and acceptance. The organizing principle of all this advice is: You want to show your kid that you understand they are their own person with their own feelings, and that you are curious about who they will become and will love them no matter what. You also want them to know you can hear anything they need to tell you and take in any info about stuff that may have happened to them without freaking out. This is all super hard, so get some support for yourself. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be thinking of you and your family and hoping you're all doing well.

Try breaking your comment up in parts. (like post part one and than wrote part 2 as a reply to yourself). RU-vid does have a word limit.

I agree wholeheartedly

Sadly, therapists rely too heavily on their education rather than learning directly from their patients. They usually come across as condescending, particularly when they imply that "you don't fit the mold" we created. And you're right. No one cares.