Basically, if a doctor dismisses a patient's symptoms by saying'' You're young(specifically a teenager),/lying/faking/woman(or just a teenage girl)'',''It's all in your mind,'', ''You're overreacting/overly emotional,''You're just anxious/on your period'', they are doing a bad job.
I was 27 and I was starting to have a pressure on my right side where the liver is. I asked my doctor if it could be related to my liver or a symptom of liver problems and he told me no because I was too young to have liver problems. Oops I was right, my gallbladder was being a b*tch. I'm pretty sure I would have been in my 40s he would have checked it.
I have literally been trying to find out what kind of food allergies I have and I need to take medication for my low blood pressure daily but apparently those are all symptoms of being "a young woman" and there is no need to worry about it...
I started to get chronic migraines around the age of 13 and the doctor at the clinic said congrats, that’s your hormones, it’ll go away when you GO THROUGH MENOPAUSE. Seriously!?! You tell a 13 year old girl who is crying in pain, chin up, it’ll go away in your late 40s and until then just suck it up? 12 years later I’m still dealing with multiple forms of chronic pain, but through relentless trial and error have found a decent medical team who care for me and work with me so I can live the life a twenty year old should live.
I recently told my psychiatrist that I'd been spoiled by her caring, excellent, on-top-of-all-the-things care. Know what she said? "While I appreciate the compliment, you haven't been spoiled. You've received adequate care." 🤯🤯🤯 It was the first time I'd consciously processed how low my bar was set, based on decades of sexism and ableism. Hearing a doctor say "This is the bare minimum you should expect. You've always deserved better" was powerful. None of us deserve the treatment we've been getting.
As an AFAB person, my thyroid cancer went misdiagnosed as “lol ur fat and have anxiety” for TWO YEARS before a doctor finally decided to listen to me. I have gotten into knockdown, drag out fights with doctors because I’d rather have my file say I’m “combative and uncooperative” than be dead from medical sexism, fatphobia, homophobia, and ableism
Had a similar experience. I was diagnosed with "being fat" and sent home. A week later I had to go to the Emergency Room (in a different hospital, thankfully) to get get surgery and have my appendix removed. Unless one is a fit, masculine, cis white dude, there's always a 50-50 chance that the doctor will just not take you seriously, think you're imagining things or being hysterical or, worst, they just straight up won't give a fuck because they think it's your own fault.
When I was in chemo, I had a fellow young girl patient who threw up all the time and couldn't keep food down. The doctor insisted she was "just" overreacting and being fussy with her food, "as young girls do". Turns out she had a severely scarred esophagus from all the throwing up, and was physically unable to swallow! But before her parents pushed for that diagnosis, the poor girl had to live like that for months, while being called a hysterical simulant.
Uuuuuh… **WHAT?!?!!?!!!?** what in the *ACTUAL FÜCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE?!!?!!!* “Oh, she’s just being dramatic and fussy for having a symptom that chemo is literally known for causing! It’s fine! Everything’s fine!” I don’t have experience firsthand with cancer. I will disclaim that, but **GOD** this pisses me off.
My nephew is AFAB and has multiple spinal injuries. One day, half his body went numb. Doctors said it was 'just anxiety'. Turns out it was a permanent degenerative condition of the spine called 'adhesive arachnoiditis.' Medical sexism destroys lives.
Omg that's awful! 😔🤬 I've had numbness in numerous parts of my body, and I've had the standard tests done, shrugs, and "don't know what it is". I have M.E and fibro, so I'm constantly dismissed. I fear a day there's something very seriously wrong with me, and it's completely ignored because of my underlying conditions that get put down to being a "mental issue", not the neurological issues they actually are.
The same thing happened to me. I randomly started to get numbness and pain in my right side that would spread to my whole body, paralysing me. Doctors said it was anxiety and i should go to therapy. Then i saw a physio and SHE listened to me and it turned out to be a trapped nerve in my shoulder, i now do daily stretches and i havent gotten the paralysis again!
Im not saying thats exactly what you have, but its just my experience. If you write a lot or use a computer you can strain the muscles in your body and you can get bad reactions. I strongly recommend checking out a physiotherapist who is open minded or has good ratings. I really wish you the best, lots of love❤️❤️❤️
*dislocates shoulder* “have you been under a lot of stress lately” “I wasn’t until my SHOULDER CAME OUT OF ITS SOCKET!”- an actual conversation in the emergency department. As a CHILD(young teen).
I feel like anxiety disorder has become the new hysteria disorder. If there is anything wrong with a person with a history of anxiety disorder, blame the medical issue on anxiety.
Not just doctors. A woman at my former church who sells insurance thought she was a psychiatrist just because her husband had a mental health problem. She dismissed chronic GI problems/diarrhea that later got diagnosed as IBS as "Oh that's just your meds, just change your meds." At that point 3 doctors: my primary care doc, my psychiatrist, and my GI specialist had said it wasn't my meds. Yet the general public assumes people with mental health diagnoses can't also get physically ill. Actually, we can and do. Just because someone has a psychiatric illness doesn't mean they can't also have a physical health problem. The 2 aren't mutually exclusive.
It turns out that when someone shows up to the ER presenting as male and is struggling to breathe... They check for breathing problems. Turns out I have asthma, and that lack of oxygen/excess CO2 is a thing that is panic inducing.
@@mxpants4884 I went to the doctors years ago because I was struggling to breathe when I stood up. They told me it was anxiety. It took 6 visits over the course of a year (and taking anti anxiety medication I didn't need and repeatedly adjusting the dose in order to prove it wasn't anxiety) before they would consider a physical issue. They did a spirometry test that showed my lung capacity was fine and back to anxiety it went. Turns out I have POTS, which they won't test me for either, after doing a routine blood pressure check and seeing evidence of it and refusing to acknowledge it. I only know it's POTS because of my physio, but she can't officially diagnose it. I don't think the fact that I'm a woman has much to do with it though. I've spoken to plenty of men who've experienced similar issues getting doctors to listen to them. I think it's just that doctors are taught utter hogwash at medical school and the profession attracts people who think they know everything.
I’m a 16 year old girl who lives with her single mom. When I was a 11, I was bit by a tick (still don’t know how) and got Atypical Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. If you don’t know what it is, it causes severe intestinal cramps, vomiting, hives all over your body (sometimes inside), and basically makes all your organs shut down and kills you within 5 to 7 days of infection. In most cases there’s an identifiable rash but with me there wasn’t. Day 1- really bad stomach cramps, we thought it was my period. Day 2- was so much worse, we went to ER. They gave me morphine for an hour and released me saying it was a stomach bug. Later that night I got hives all over my face, arms, legs, even the bottom of my feet that made it painful to walk. Day 3- we went to my primary doctor and she called a consult and they referred me to a different hospital. Went later that day, got admitted and stayed over night while they ran a whole bunch of tests on me and came to the conclusion it was appendicitis and I would get mine removed the next day. Day 4- they sent the head of pediatric medicine ( a women who specialized in premies ) to look at me. She said she thinks we should have more blood work done. She left and my doctor said we didn’t need any, it wasn’t appendicitis, it was just a stomach bug that I had an allergic reaction to. My mom tried to insist on more tests and he said “what makes you think that is necessary” and discharged us. Day 5- around 2 am I started getting hives in my throat and my lungs, it was hard to breathe. We called an ambulance and they took us to a final 3rd hospital. I was admitted immediately and after 1 hour of some tests and exams, my doctor diagnosed me with RMSF and gave me emergency treatment. My intestines had started to fail and my blood was thick. I would’ve died within 24 hours if I wasn’t medicated with the correct stuff right then. 5 years later and I have asthma and rheumatoid issues because of this. That could’ve been prevented if I had more tests done. I wonder if they would’ve done more tests if it wasn’t a single mom and her mixed daughter.
It amazes me how pregnant people get treated by the medical system. You’d think that with the narrative that ‘A woman’s purpose is to have babies,’ that pregnancy would bring with it the most extensive care. But instead, it becomes a dangerous condition due to medical neglect and lack of knowledge. In the US, black pregnant people are especially at risk of dying because medical providers won’t provide proper treatment
I used to have to bring my husband to every doctor's appointment because they would believe him. If I went in alone, the answer was always, "well, you're fat" or "well, that's normal and just part of being a human." When I brought my husband in and said the same things and presented the same symptoms, they suddenly believed me and it wasn't just "normal" or just me being fat. I've finally found a doctor in a whole new city that believes me and validates my concerns. I no longer have to drag my poor husband to every appointment.
Isn't weight gain and being fat something that can be a symptom of several conditions. Are you complaining because they thought fat was a moral failing instead of a symptom?
Yeah, the whole 'we don't want to include people with a uterus in our clinical studies because their hormones are too complicated' when studying things that affect hormones that people with a uterus have is really extra scream worthy, and there are already so many reasons to scream before we even get there.
For a time, a while back, women weren’t included due to the possibility of pregnancy & the potential harm to an unborn child. This was also a time when contraception as we know it now wasn’t as ubiquitous. I’m not defending it. Science & technology have come a long way since then.
@@cloverdover712 It's not about laziness. It's about eliminating confounding factors. But of course, it's easier to convince yourself that researchers are just nasty patriarchs trying to perpetuate sexist patterns. And for the record, researchers in most countries of the world are very far from being paid handsomely.
When I was a young woman in the 70’s I plucked up the courage to talk to my male doctor about my debilitating period pains. He told me that I should be ashamed of myself as millions of women put up with periods so why was I so special? I felt bad at the time especially as we were not supposed to talk about periods. Thank goodness there are female doctors now but males still predominate and with four daughters with disabilities I cannot describe the male bullying we have had! Now we have female consultants who are positive and nurturing. Thank you Jessica!
My male gp said I was imagining the pain in my abdomen after my appendix surgery until I ended up in hospital with a raging infection from my appendix stump. The original surgery was botched and too long a stump was left in. I just had the remainder out yesterday after a year of ill health and pain.
I was seeing my GP about my disability one day and she asked if it was causing me nausea because I was incredibly ill. When I said no, it was period pain doing it she replied, “You know, you don’t have to out up with that” and it made me cry because no-one had ever told me there was a solution before. I’d had adenomiosis since I was a teen, and no-one was willing to give me a solution until I’d had kids and they deemed me past ideal child bearing age.
I'm glad you've managed to find better care. But female doctors can be just as misogynistic. Male doctors can be kind and nurturing as well. That may not have been your experience, but I find repeating the "men = bad, women = good" trope doesn't help us end systemically misogynistic systems because it's much more complicated than that.
Shout out to all the female, LGBTQ+, non-white, disabled, neurodiverse, non-rich people who've long ago figured out the medical system isn't built for them.
plus size people too. so many people get denied proper medical care because their doctors tell them "just lose weight" every single time, and their issues will go undiagnosed for years.
I grew up knowing that "the system wasn't made for me (or people like me, if they existed)" but never knew why. My response was to get out of "the system" and live in my own way, away from it... That doesn't really work for the medical system tho...
@@colorbar.s Excellent point. Unfortunately particularly small and skinny people too. It's almost as if only a specific range of sizes and weights are arbitrarily decided as acceptable and "healthy".
@@MeTalkPrettyOneDay i think you are being too cynical when saying arbitrary weights are called healthy, it is absolutely true that anyone over or under a certain weight for their build can expect a number of related issues
I suffered with undiagnosed Reflux for 10 years. When my mom got diagnosed with it I went to my doctor and requested the diagnostic test. He told me there was no way I had Reflux, despite throwing up at least 5 times a week at that point. I insisted on the test and of course it showed acute reflux. I found out later that the clinic had indicated I was a hysterical person just seeking attention on my chart. So for years any symptoms I had were brushed off and ignored. Congratulations again on your lovely baby!
As a female med student (with health struggles), this really resonated with me. What‘s really blowing my mind is the lack of women in higher positions. After graduating uni, we are about 60% women but when you look at the higher ranks, there are 90% men. Which is especially weird in female dominated fields such as paediatrics and gynaecology, where sometimes all the doctors are women except for their boss! Edit: and fun fact: because of this gender bias, women are more likely to be misdiagnosed when they have a heart attack. BUT: not if the doctor is female! Female doctor detect more heart attacs, which are considered ‚abnormal‘, both in women and men. Also being treated by a female physician means the patient is more likely to have a better outcome, lower time in hospital and lower death rate! (And still I have patients telling me and female doctors that they want to see the REAL doctor. The male one. 😒)
Not only do the higher ranks go to men, when women get to them they make sure to squish you ASAP, just in case you think you’ll even amount to anything ever in your life. Of course I’m generalising but most of the bs I got thrown at me in med school was by either super young male doctors or female doctors. And yeah, the first time a patient asked the female doctor I was shadowing (this one was cool) when “the real doctor” was getting there I thought she was going to grab a syringe and give him a sneaky air embolism.
My friend is a doctor and has taught at multiple schools. Men ran her out of every single one. She hopes to someday be a dean for a medical school and I hope she makes it. I feel so mad hearing about all her struggles.
This is sooooo true. Working in the hospital, I have seen so many great female doctors be squashed by male consultants. This stops fantastic female doctors from entering more male-driven areas like orthopaedics, which can be devastating for patient care. Also, the patriarchy and hierarchy in the hospital remains very real. I can't count how many times senior doctors have directed questions to my male colleagues on ward rounds, even when I am managing the patients care or more qualified. When all males are at the top it makes it difficult to get our voice heard.
I'm a young, goth, women with chronic illness and anxiety. Everytine I go to the ER they spend 3 hours assuming I must be pregnant. I tell them it's not a possibility at all, they scoff at me. They do 3 pregnacy tests, and even a full scan of my abdomen...It's ridiculous. Some weeks I've had to go to the ER multiple times, and each time they spend hours focusing on that I must be pregnant. If it's not me being pregnant, it's either my period or anxiety that they blame. Everytime a doctor sees I've been diagnosed with anxiety, they blame everything on it.
Ugh. I had an ER doc "diagnose" me as pregnant. This was despite negative blood and urine tests. Oh and his "proof" was my "pregnancy migraines". You know, the migraine I'd had for 1.5 years at that point. His reason for why my tests were negative? "Oh, you're just too early to test". Like what??? Twice the length of human pregnancy is "too early"? He then tried to deny me magnesium and Zofran (anti nausea med) because they'd harm the baby. Even though pregnant people are supposed to *increase* their magnesium intake. It's insulting and extremely harmful.
I would highly recommend saying “oh I didn’t give birth to my son” and then just blank stare at them with no explanation because they don’t deserve one. 😁
She will just get asked if he's adopted then.........personally Id say, "oh no, my wife gave birth to him." and then watch them flounder because that would be heaps more fun to watch.
Alternative solution: Change the story every time. "Oh yeah actually I just stole it from a racoon family" "Yeah we once found him on the street and thought it was cute" "Actually an alien brought it and left it here" "He's not a baby, it's a robot"
Just started reading Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed and Sick by Maya Dusenbery and it is an excellent look into this issue. It has references to lot of studies which have looked at the problem which is always nice to have when doctors refuse to believe you've been mistreated by other medical professionals.
IN THE PARK "Oo, such a tiny little baby, I guess she takes after her mother!" "You think so? Do you have a lot of cavities?" "I hope not. At least not the migraines." "Yes! Not only tiny - gay too. They test for that now." "Naww, so special of you to say that! YOUR mom must have been a very special lady too."
It's so effed up that the heart attack symptoms (how they differ) have been "common knowledge" for at least a couple of decades and that this common knowledge still is so uncommon, even among doctors.
i'm a cis-female, neurodivergent, disabled person. my whole life has been medical professionals dismissing my conditions. "you're too old", "you're too young", "you're just fat", "you're just making it up for attention/over reacting/hysterical", "you're just a bad child/person". not to mention the doctors who don't give a toss and throw pills at you...
It's criminal what they can get away with. Medicine as an entire profession is in major need of a massive overhaul and bringing into the 21st century. Doctors need to stop being treated like demi-Gods and face the same scrutiny in their professional lives as the rest of us do.
@@venus_as_a_boi2278 same!!! it was "oh, you're just stressed, here's some valium.". i am stressed because i have chronic pain issues and need something stronger than aspirin...
I'm 19 and just got my ADHD diagnosis... The lack of research of women's ADHD and the clear stereotypes related to overactive boys are the reasons why my clear symptoms were put on the side and why I got my diagnosis so late. My hyperactivity was considered a personality related problem and people thought that I was either just lazy or that I didn't even try to do things right and focus. I had to come forward myself to get both my dyslexia and ADHD diagnoses because people didn't take me seriously....
Glad you got it so young! I know, 19 doesn't feel young when you've had to go through K-12 education without it, but I didn't get my diagnosis until 32. It was first suggested to me when I was 24--by a female psychology graduate student--but her advisor didn't agree, so on I went for a number of years before the pandemic forced me to get help again.
I’m a little older but was diagnosed with adhd at 7 taken off of meds because of adverse reactions by 9 and I told my parents (both in medicine) that I was looking for someone to go back on them. And they both were like “you still have that?” Like cause they never believed I had it is why I was allowed to skip doses and function.
@@NS-pf7jr I got mine at 30, but am wondering if it was correct. I wonder if I have ADHD instead of Aspergers... or both, because that would just be bloody typical.
I'm a 16 year old female and I was recently taken to hospital due to the fact that I was having chest pain and my resting pulse was 144 (its usually 89). When I got there, I saw a male doctor who instead of asking about my symptoms, he just kept pressing on me asking if I was being bullied in school, like he was persistent. I told him no but he was adamant that my chest pain was down to anxiety because I was being bullied. I told him that I have had anxiety for over 3 years and I've never had anything like this, and my chest pain and palpations only come on after very small exercises. He then decided that I was lying and PHONED MY MUM ( I'm 16 so legally I have control over my medical care and who gets told about my health problems, he didn't ask me if I wanted her to be phoned) to basically disprove what I was saying, and when she confirmed what I said he took her off speaker phone and spoke to her privately. At the end of the meeting he told me while rolling his eyes that he'd send for my bloods to be tested for thyroid issues ( they'd already taken my blood) I then found out 3 weeks later from my GP after desperately trying to get my results, that the doctor had cancelled the blood test because he "didnt deem it necessary", my gp was completely baffled because I had all the symptoms of hyperthyroidism, but hey I guess I'm just over thinking it.
working as a NHS Librarain I was in charge of making sure departments got access to reports, reviews and data and I totally agree with you - as a women why do you have 50% less change of survival if you have a cardiac infraction vs a man? why do black people have the worst cancer outcomes and most deaths and do not get me stated talking about deaths and outcome of people that have down syndrome or autism
@@colorbar.s I’m classified as overweight on the bmi scale and when they sent my bloods to an endocrinologist that showed consistently dangerously low levels of certain hormones. The dang intake lady referred me to weight management instead of giving me an endocrinologist appointment. It took me 6 months to finally get scheduled an appointment. My endocrinologist was p when she heard about why it took so long.
@@ravenrose7677 I'm so sorry to hear about this. It wasn't until I spent 6 years with an endocrinologist until I was able to get my thyroid figured out. It took a lot of advocating for myself and forcing the doctor to test for multiple things... Just to find out that I needed a slightly higher prescription.
@@audreyr2647 I’m in Spain too and that’s straight up laziness tf. One of my Super-fit med school classmates once tried to start the “maybe your chronic stuff is because you’re fat” with me and I swear to god I almost ended him on the spot, I got so mad I asked him if he recommended smoking like a chimney like he was doing at that very moment to lose weight. He got very quiet.
I went to the dermatologist with a rash on my finger. She yelled at me that I'm "fat and disgusting" and "it's ugly when a girl looks like she's pregnant". I have severe medical trauma because of fatphobic doctors.
I'm a transman, and I'm sure this'll get buried, but please, you CAN find care providers who will take you seriously. Don't stick with a bad doctor. Try a new one. It's so important to stand up for yourself. Also, learn to be assertive. It can really go a long way if you just take control and command what you need rather than ask for it. Tell them you want a referral to a specialist or you're going elsewhere. It's worth.
And if you don't feel up for it for w/e reason, bring a friend or family member to argue for you! It might vary, but most places will let you bring someone for emotional support.
@@matildas3177 very good advice, I take my mum with me to almost all my appointments both because my memory isn't very good and I sometimes forget the words I need. But also because she can back up what I'm saying with examples and the ways she sees my pain affect me. I only started getting taken seriously after I started bringing her to my doctors appts
As an Amputee, Aspie and overweight woman suffering from depression....I FELT this video IN MY BONES. My heart goes out to you, Jessica. Much love to Claudia and the lil' sprout!
My friend lost both of her feet due to a condition she had that was mismanaged by her doctors and they didn’t believe her and her family about how severe it was until the front part of her food had curled under and she had to walk on the tops of her toes that were curled under
@@abbigailcarr2725 Oh God, I am SO sorry for your friend! I lost my leg because...I went into the hospital due to a mild but lingering infection and then developed sepsis...it was an all male team of Drs, one even gave me the "young lady" treatment....(I was 37 and older than him). I'm suing btw.
@@elisabetta611 omg im so sorry. Sepsis is awful my mom died of it, started as an untreated uti and then they loaded her w/antibiotics w/o checking her kidney function and essentially poisoned her.
I once had a doctor tell me my pain was due to "contained inner rage". My back had went into severe spasms, had no use of my legs and was screaming/crying. I left to hospital with no pain relief. Really hoping things change, that patient care will eventually be equal.
I had a doctor tell me I was having panic attacks (8 years into me having a panic disorder so able to recognise when I was having one) when I went in with arm pain and tingling in my extremities. It got to the point where he told me I was wasting doctors time and being 'emotional' which pushed me into a panic attack in his office. He then tried to have me hospitalised for it.... Turns out I had nerve damage from a spinal injury. And don't even get me started on acephobia in medicine.
I'm an AFAB trans person and currently looking to get an autism diagnosis. The amount of people telling me that I'm just different or I'm just creative is shocking. I just want to be taken seriously.
I feel your pain friend. I just get told straight up not to even bother trying to get a diagnosis because I "have made it past 40 and am coping so what would a diagnosis change?". I have also been told not to bother trying to get the government disability grant because it would "be too much effort for not a lot of money" while in the same breath being told to get a job and that I'm just lazy (while being unable to stand because my hip decided it was done for the day thanks and my brain tried to kill me with fireworks behind my eye and my heart danced the cha-cha and the tango at the same time)
I only got my autism diagnosis in my mid 30s because I was referred to a "wellbeing team" for my chronic pain, because correct diagnosis is way too much like hard work. I had suffered 6 years of daily "psychoanalysis" (being told everything was my fault and to just accept it, basically, which caused irreparable damage and made me far more unwell than when I started) for a personality disorder I didn't even have, and was only diagnosed with because I tried to take my own life in my teens and was still angry about everything that lead to it, but he refused to refer me anywhere as that would have invalidated his "professional opinion," and yet the psychologist in the team spotted my autism the moment we met. She told me that a lot of women she sees are incorrectly diagnosed with BPD when they are in fact autistic, and the majority of her work is about righting that wrong.
I once went to the dr. and my husband (now ex) was in the room...after 5 minutes of the dr. asking HIM questions about MY symptoms I looked at my husband and said "GET OUT!". The dr. asked why I did that, and when I explained that I! am the patient and my husband is basically a clueless potato - he said I was obviously hysterical. I informed him that no, I wasn't hysterical...I WAS PISSED! that 1. my husband has zero clue what was going on inside my body (since you know, I'm the one who lives in it), 2. he was in the military and gone 80% of the time, so he was twice as oblivious as the average husband, and 3. if he was going to be a disrespectful misogynist I would seek medical advise from someone that actually gave a damn. I then left the office, went to the desk and asked for a different dr. in the same clinic (YAY U.S. insurance), filed a complaint against the dr. with the office, got seen by a second dr. (luckily the same day) and was told that I wasn't the first female patient to complain about this jack-wagon...why he was still there I have no clue.
Congrats on handling this like a boss! I wish I had the strength to complain about sexist doctors to their offices...I am a bit curious about the "YAY US insurance" comment, what does this refer to? Where I have lived in Europe (3 countries) it is possible to see a different doctor on your insurance if you are not happy with a doctor you visited. Filing an official complaint about a doctor to your insurance is not common practice where I have lived though. Not trying to start a discussion about one system vs. the other, just genuinely curious about it :)
@@a0ch my insurance only covered certain doctors or clinics in my area, the next closest doctor for my health issues was over an hour drive if I could even get in to be seen. Also the complaint was filed with the clinic, as that was who was employing him...I didn't even consider filing with the insurance because they could likely do very little to fix the situation, sorry for the confusion. Even now, over 25 years later, I still have to ask any doctor/clinic I go to is they take my insurance. In the US insurance companies can chose to cover/not cover expenses for each doctor/clinic...it's a bit of a pain when trying to find specialists.
@@charminsavage2512 I get it now, thank you for taking the time to explain! Where I currently live there are plenty of doctors with the insurance, where you don't need to pay anything when you go, but the very good ones have usually very long waiting times or do not take new patients. It is also a matter of luck, there are younger doctors that are usually available and they may be good or not. I can also choose to go to another doctor (semi-private) and get part of it reimbursed, or a fully private doctor where I will need to pay. Honestly I believe that even if our insurances would cover an infinite amount of specialists, the issue would still be there with the doctors. Their education needs to also focus on raising their awareness on their biases caused by sexism/racism and their phobias :( wish I will be able next time to fight for being treated respectfully like you did.
@@a0ch I actually enjoy getting younger doctors, when you call them on their nonsense they take it more to heart and learn a better way to deal with all patients. The hardest part for me is when they ask for my pain on a scale of 1 - 10...I always ask my 1 - 10 or yours, they say all pain is the same...um, no it's not. I've had electro-therapy on my muscles where the technician has the device at maximum (10) and I'm only uncomfortable, but the gentleman next to me is at a 4 and crying in agony. For some people, we deal with so much pain daily that we learn to ignore it just to function, so when we finally admit to being in pain it's unfathomable to others how we are even walking around and not in hospital on heavy medications. Also, advocate for yourself...go in with lists if you have to, get your questions answered, do not allow them to make you feel like an inconvenience or not worth their time...without patients they have no jobs and therefore should do it to the best of their ability for each and every person. You wouldn't go to a mechanic who fixes your car half way or treats you poorly, doctors are just people mechanics. Many blessings.
@@charminsavage2512 I agree about younger doctors! What I was thinking about when I wrote this, it is that usually they do not have reviews online if their practice is new so it comes with a more random outcome. I am doing the lists, the preparation, the advocating, but where I live (Austria) there is no customer orientation mentality and doctors think they are untouchable gods. Unfortunately when I bring my male partner with me, I am treated more seriously although they do always look for his confirmation to what I am saying as in your story. It is a tough landscape to navigate here. It could also have to do with me being a foreigner here, although I speak the language very well, I feel like I am not managing to bring across the severity of my symptoms. Me and my partner have been to the same doctor for the same symptoms (reflux/stomach pain), the first question I get is if I am stressed, but he did not get asked this. I was given PPIs with no further explanation, he was given a guide for his nutrition and a thorough evaluation plan (take the pills this long, come back then). This, at a FEMALE doctor :( I guess asking a man with a beard that looks white if they are stressed is off the table. I feel you about the pain, I too have chronic pain and the problem is that I am not bringing across how severe it is because of being used to it. Good luck to you, I hope you are getting the care you deserve and hope I will be able to find it too.
When I was 11yr old I had scarlet fever. My mom took me to the doctor, told the doctor what I have and he checked me. Told my mom how she's overreacting and trying to overrule the "professional" and sent us away with a "common flue" diagnose. My mom refused to leave the hospital before another doctor had checked me. Result; Scarlet fever. Lol.
So many years experience as a female patient but also a health professional in cardiology. There were a number of times I took male doctors to task for their biases predominately against young women. It’s ingrained in cardiology more so than some other specialisms. Cardiac conditions can cause fainting, palpitations, dizziness, blackouts and shortness of breath etc. A male presents with these in primary care has historically been so much more likely to receive cardiac investigations earlier than females. From personal experience I vividly remember having to go to A&E with a very fast heart rate in the middle of the night. Before even taking a history or doing an exam the male doctor asked me “so how long have you been having these anxiety attacks then?” He soon changed his tune when I whipped out 3 packs of significant cardiac medications. Decided he’d best take a history at that point. Interestingly the male nurse taking care of me was visibly frustrated by the doctor’s attitude. That was almost 20 years ago. In my experience things haven’t really moved on.
Im a very current cardiac patient. Youre right, they havent moved on. I had to nearly drown to death before my condition was taken seriously and even then my double valve replacement was delayed for 4 years so that my male cardiologist could experiment with balloon valvuloplasty on me. My mitral valve was stuck open at 1cm, my EF was and still is sub 20%.
I recently went to a cardiologist to seek a diagnosis. He had me to a holder monitor. He said the results showed only 2 hours of tachycardia. I said I only stood up for about 2 hours during the test. He decided I was fine. Referred me to a different doctor. Holder monitors are not used for diagnosis for the condition I was concerned about.
I'm currently at 17 years, nearly a dozen doctors, 2 misdiagnoses, and an additional 2 years trying to find the right medication into my journey. The worst part? I'm still fighting to get doctors to listen to me. I leave each appointment feeling angry, frustrated, and RESENTFUL of medical professionals. I find it difficult to trust doctors when they don't trust me and my experiences.
After a month a chest pain, shortness of breath, and a cough I finally went to the Emergency room. The doctor took one look at my chart, saw anxiety/depression and immediately said that I was having an anxiety attack and gave me medicine I did not need nor want. He ignored the fact that I have lupus and was just coming out of the worst flair I've ever had which included a mini stroke at 22. Thankfully he did a CT an hour later after no "symptom" improvement which revealed a massive pulmonary embolism, fluid on and in the lung, and that the bottom half of my lung was collapsed and dead! Anxiety you say??? I later had my new primary doctor remove anxiety/depression from my diagnosis list so that my treatment is never affected that way again. Granted my mental health had been stable for 6+ years so she felt comfortable taking them off as long as I report any changes asap. Listen to your body, and advocate for yourself!
Whenever a doctor asks me "have you undergone any anxiety/stress recently?" I always so no, even if I have. If I wanted to go to the doctor for mental health reasons, I would have.
If people are being rude in public, I'd definitely recommend politely messing with them. "Oh, that's just how the Stalk delivered him", "Thank you, we selected a petite model", along those lines
I've been having chronic migraines since I was about 7 or 8 years old and my latest neurologist (mind you a woman herself) literally asked me if I was completley sure that my pain wasn't just psychosomatic and I was imagining it. Gee... sure. I have been imagining my excruciating pain that no painkillers can dim in the slightest for the past 15 years of my life. Makes sense. Also... even if my migraines were psychosomatic that would STILL be an issue in need of treatment. Best part: She also told me that maybe I should look for a different career path (I'm studying at Uni right now which was always my dream and makes me incredibly happy) or just... learn to live with my pain. What do you think I have been doing for the past 15 years? Not living or what? I continue to push my issues aside in order to live a life worth living. Isn't it your job to help me figure out how to better deal with the pain and illness???
That is sweet, thank you! I have an important job interview on Thursday, so I will store the good vibes for that day 😊 Loads of positivity back to you!!! 🤗
If you asked me 20 years ago I would have said: Yes! We need more female doctors! 20 years later I am like: No, we don't need more female doctors, we just need better doctors.
I think it comes down to the institution. After med school, there are all the internships, residency, etc. Training young doctors do. Young doctors are trained/mentored by older doctors that can reinforce outdated ideas and practices conforming young doctors to the institution. Added pressure is applied to members of under represented populations to not show bias to their community. Look at Law inforcement as another example of institutionalized bias.
My female doctor dismissed my complaints as "normal for women." I don't think needing to pee every 15 minutes is normal for any human Also, I know a woman who kept going to her doctor for headaches. With no evidence at all, the dr dxed her with chronic sinus infection and refused to do anything further for a few years. So, the woman went to a new doctor who gave her an MRI. She had a brain tumor and passed away a month later. Had her original doctor taken her seriously she possibly could have lived longer and had time to prepare if not cured entirely
I have literally heard a doctor say they would not treat women because 'such and such diagnosis only happens to women.' Said doctor was a specialist in a field related directly to the care of patients dealing with a 'such and such' diagnosis. (Sorry for vague references, can't be too specific for privacy reasons.) Were the patient male, this doctor would see them for this issue; were they female, they were referred elsewhere because they were an inconvenience.
My mom was pretty much the same in that she spent years being dismissed and misdiagnosed by her doctors then got her diagnosis too late. Years of symptoms and pain were dismissed as stress, hormones, and ibs when really it was cancer and a couple tumors growing in her abdomen. We begged her to push for better help and change doctors but she didn't for years. When she finally forced them to do an ultra sound they found the tumors but insisted it wasn't cancer, didn't run tests that could have proven it was, and went ahead doing the surgery to remove them instead of transferring her to a specialist. Even though they'd been horrible for years, she'd still trusted that now having been proven somethings wrong they would prove better. They acted shocked after the surgery when the results said the tumors were cancerous, as though there was no way of knowing, and finally thought to ask if we have a family history which we do, a long one, that was very much written in her chart, a chart she assumed they'd read since they'd never asked the question. She never fully recovered from that first surgery and it left her very weak for future treatment which came so late there was never really hope. When we were finally with the right doctors they explain in that "we cant badmouth other doctors" way that just about everything regarding how her case was handled was wrong. And no one got sued. Why? Because my stepdad kept insisting that they couldn't really have known. And why did he defend them? Because he like the doctor's dismissed it and put her symptoms on her for being lazy and shit. He hadn't known so how could they? Yeah, not like the woman and none asshole men in her life hadn't realized something was wrong. Not like as trained professionals they should have known better than his ignorant ass. It wasn't until years later when he'd rewritten things in his head to remember himself as a flawed but good caring husband that he finally actually put blame on them and admitted they'd done wrong.
I was in similar situation, I've seen 6 different doctors because I had 4 months long headache and finally a psychiatrist (and a woman) got that it's because of my mental problems. I got medication for that and the pain went away. The rest just referred me to another specialist and my GP gave me tramadol and codeine, she was trying to do as much as she could. I'm glad that I went to my psychiatrist, because she's one of the best people that I know. And I've learned that I can't take tramadol.
About the need to pee often. Had the same (but not so severe) problem, the female doctor we went to didn't really lissen to me sad that it is probably do to hormonal imbalance and prescribed me the pill. Luckily my mother who went with me overheard that the girl before me also got a pill prescription for other symptoms, so I didn't took it. Came out I had a severe lack of magnesium without the "typical" cramps.
Just 2 years ago I randomly got sharp pains under my right shoulder blade. First we called a doctor but we were told it would take 2 hours, so my bf called an ambulance. The internist at the ER said he couldn't find anything in my urine so it's probably just a pinched nerve. Few days later, same thing. This time a doctor came and basically told me the same thing. Few days later, same thing, but this time my belly felt weird. We had dinner a few hours before, but I was feeling like getting fuller ?! Like I've overate and just noticed it. Called a doc, but after a few minutes my bf called an ambulance, because I couldn't hold still the pain was really intense. 2 paramedics arrive, male and female. The man listens to my history and says that it probably wasn't a nerve all along. He was getting ready to take me to the ambulance when his female colleague pulled him over, gave me a stern look and whisper argued with him. The only thing I could understand was him saying "she is clearly in a lot of pain". So they brought me to the ER. Still can't hold still, so I get asked twice from staff if I'm ok. I said both times that I am in a lot of pain. First data collection round is done, only thing noted is that I take antidepressants and being told to wait. Now it's night time, so I start groaning because of the pain and exhaustion. Someone comes to give me a pill. I thank them that I FINALLY get something against the pain and they said it's not that, It's a pill to calm me down.... By some sort of miracle I got a doctor who finally did an ultrasound and diagnosed me with having gallstones. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent.
as someone female presenting, African American, cis gendered and with a uterus (a biological female who IDs as female basically) I was diagnosed with endometriosis around 2008 because my mother demanded I see a female gynecologist, so she got it right on the first go. It was 2019 when I finally got a hormonal IUD put into my arm to stop my period and cramps and while I still get the occasional painful cramps they only last like 12hrs, the bleeding is minimal, and its still not a menstrual cycle. My menstrual cycle was killing me. My cramps were so bad that I got a note from the university health center on campus saying I have to miss 1-3 days per month due to a preexisting medical condition (my endometriosis) because the cramps were so bad I wouldn't be able to move. the flow was so heavy it caused actual concern for me. I couldn't eat, barely walk (im severely anemic so losing such a huge amount of blood every month for more than five days was HELL ON ITS LIGHTEST DAY), I was lucky my bedroom was the closest to the bathroom with the huge Jacuzzi bathtub bc that's where I'd lay, in the soothing hot bath water, after taking copious amounts of high grade tylenol and waiting for it to kick in as I just bled and bled. And my mother, a career and lifelong nurse, still to this day doesn't believe my endo diagnosis she thinks its just cramps and that im too soft. All based on how she was raised and how she was educated as a nurse at one of the top nursing schools in Massachusetts when she went. the dissonance is real.
Oh super recognizable! I have a dad who is a doctor and I have chronic stomach pain. I am still not sure he realises there is something wrong in my body...
@Snutih women past a certain age don't menstruate, or some women don't for other reasons, Jessica was specifically referring to the part of the population who have an active menstrual cycle, who produce the hormones associated with it and the medical implications of that. An infertile woman will react differently to certain drugs than a menstruating woman. In a medical context the way she worded it makes more sense and is more accurate than anything else. But I agree that when you refer to yourself instead of population groups it's unnecessary, just say you're a woman if you identify as a woman.
@Snutih This is a great example of how transphobes use language to denigrate trans people of all genders. Wth does 2014 have to do with anything? Nonbinary and multiple other concepts of gender have *always* existed, in many cultures around the world. This is not something new, and nonbinary or other trans people who don't strictly identify as man or woman in NO WAY detracts from or hurts other trans people. Dysphoria is not a prerequisite for gender identity, and not all trans people experience it, or experience it in the same way. And as Jessica says near the beginning of the video, it's a real issue that we don't have serious medical research that accounts for all genders. Not all people who menstruate are women, and that's just a fact, regardless of your transphobia.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but at least you're not stuck in a situation where you just have these symptoms with no explanation. I know an Olympic diver who went over 8 years with similar heavy duty problems and pain before finally getting that diagnosis. Btw, IUD is intrauterine device (so it has to be in your uterus), the thing you get on your arm is a subdermal implant :)
Fem presenting person: **has a clearly broken leg** doctors: "are you sure it's not just stress" Masc presenting person:**has a small cough* Doctors:"we need to get you medicine right away" (It really feels like that sometimes 🙃)
My mom broke her collarbone recently and her quality of care was dog shit. In her follow up she was told there was another (female) patient with a collarbone injury that never fused back together and was painless when she complained her muscles supporting her fucking broken bone hurt. I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you what sex her doctor was.
It took 10 years for a friend to be diagnosed with endometriosis. It took 45+ years to my aunt to be diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis, doctors destroyed her bodies and took her chance of becoming mother away by performing an hysterectomy when she was young. I have no words, I've screamed them all
Can you tell me more about the thyroid stuff? I have had multiple doctors notice my thyroid is swollen but do blood work that comes out "good" and don't look any further into the issue.
@@hippybecca Yeah sure. Basically my aunt had these periods were her thyroid was all over the place, at first they thought it was hyperthyroidism, then it was hypothyroidism, then didn't give 2 shits about it. When she told me her story and her symptoms, I thought immediately of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which is an extremely irregular form of hypothyroidism and has all the symptoms and none at the same time. I learned about it some day while scrolling facebook maybe 6 or more years ago. She took a blood test for that syndrome and it came out (unsurprisingly) positive. As far as I know (so what doctors do here in Italy and Germany) you should check your thyroid with an ultrasound if you haven't yet, then proceed to take a blood test for thyroid hormones (all of the thyroid hormones btw, some give false negatives so don't trust them too much) and a particular blood test for Hashimoto's syndrome which requires a contrast liquid to be injected in your system before taking the blood.
@@hippybecca Doctors only do a TSH test which says everything is good. You need to ask for (and demand if necessary) - FT3 and FT4 tests - FT3 and FT4 are the amounts of 2 specific types of thyoid hormone in your blood - and it is these amounts that affect your health. NOT the TSH. There is one community (mostly American) that you might want to join - they have a very good book called "Stop the thyroid madness" and yes they are pretty much all females. stopthethyroidmadness.com/
I was told to 'take up surfing' when I kept fainting all the time. Yes because a sport that involves standing up and balancing is great for someone who passes out when they stand in the bus
I'm on the fence between typing "Jessica please get more sleep" and "sleep-deprived Jessica's humor is top notch" but like seriously I hope you get better sleep amazing video!
As someone who has psoriasis, went to a doctor, said, "Hey, yo. Psoriasis, yeah?" and got a "yeah" in return, then dealt with three male doctors who were "let's try this cream and this light thing" before getting someone who said "yeah, no. Here's an actual drug that will do a cure", I understand this so so much.
I’m a plus sized female in my 40’s with anxiety and depression. Almost every diagnosis I’ve received in my life I’ve had to fight for because I’m either ‘just fat and need to lose weight’ or ‘it’s just the anxiety’. I’m fighting at the moment because I just know something is up with me but no-one will listen.
Keep fighting. I was 28 when I just knew I shouldn’t hurt so much, be so depressed, have no energy and more. With a huge number of tests and only 1.5 years because I found an amazing doctor I found I had Fibromyalgia Syndrome. I have many more things, but that was in the 1990’s. I wish you the best on your fight to get the treatment you deserve.
I get the 'wonderful' one-two jab of being black, disabled, and non-binary femme! It's sooooo wonderful having to have my very existence challenged at every turn - I'm very fortunate to have some great doctors now, but it was a blasted struggle to find them!
Just started reading 'Invisible woman: exposing data bias in a world designed for men' with a student book club. Found out there is not just bias in medical studies. There are so many things where women are discriminated because in history the standard human was said as a white sis male with a weight of about 70kg. It's eye-opening and infuriating
my dad and i both have the same auto immune diseases but when my dad has symptoms they adjust his medicine and offer him lifestyle and holistic alternatives to feel better , recently i had a flare up of the exact same symptoms and i went to my dads doctor and was told i “needed to respect doctors” because i made the mistake of telling the doctor i hadn’t felt listened to by my previous GP and that my symptoms were “all in my head” and he won’t treat me until i’ve started therapy , For the Exact Same Symptoms of the Exact Same Disease he treats my dad for
Omg, I've faced this sort of thing also! They take it so personally?? Like sir, you don't even know my old doctor! why align yourself with an unknown person I'm displeased with? I've also found that if I come in with a pretty good idea of my ailment, it's like they don't want you to be right.. Old doc was v snarky at me saying I just had a cold.. Then comes the voicemail with her begrudgingly admitting I had strep; as I'd suspected.
See if there is a way to submit a formal complaint. It's so important that stuff like this gets reported as malpractice, because that is exactly what it is!
This hits to close to home. I have ADHD and endometriosis and both got diagnosed at 20. I had horrible endo symptoms for 2 years and statisticly speaking I am considered lucky to have been diagnosed "this early". I still have undiagnosed medical problems but just can't fight further right now. Despite living in a country with universel health care and no other disadvantaging factors in my life. This is a disaster.
I’m a medstudent. My time has come. Yes. Yes, it is. But there is a small bud of insight starting to grow and take root. They’re starting to take notice. Slowly. Very slowly. Medicine is still too rigid in a lot of aspects. There’s a lot of prejudice within the community and doctors are a bit of an elitist bunch. There is change happening but a lot of those stiff elitist types (older and well respected doctors usually) are still very much around and unwilling to change their approach to patients, so it’s much harder to see the change happening from the outside. But things like the paternalistic approach a lot of older doctors have used for decades where the patient had no say in their own treatment are falling out to the wayside. Another big issue is that a majority of doctors are white cis and straight and a good portion are also male (although there are a lot more female doctors and female students are the majority where I live!) and a lot of the students are also white cis and straight. There is still a lot of prejudice and fear of coming out. Hell I’m trying to pass off as female for now because actually coming out as demi-male sounds terrifying.
Me as soon as I read the title: Yes! Yes it is. And so is a lot of the medical research used to develop medications and treatments. One of the things I know is to always and I mean ALWAYS answer no to the "are you stressed or feeling anxious?" question no matter what if you want actual medical care. Also having to basically fight to be taken seriously and receive the care I need while I'm in so much pain. One time I ended up in the ER, taken by ambulance, and the staff at that hospital was so incredibly dismissive. I had chest pain so severe that I couldn't even speak a full sentence without stopping. They said it was just heartburn and sent me away to figure out how to take the bus home. Turns out I had pleurisy and needed narcotic pain medication just to dull the pain enough to be able to breathe and speak.
I just recently found out I have a cyst in my brain after 13 years of severe headaches with several different doctors gaslighting me as a young girl and telling me they were nothing and would go away “soon”. I had to fight for a ct when I was finally old enough to advocate for myself and had fully convinced myself it would come up with nothing because that is what all the doctors told me but they immediately found a cyst in my brain stem.
If this is a collod cyst then please please please get (brain) crainiotomy surgery ASAP. These cysts can and will grow bigger and will eventually kill you. My sister died of a colloid cyst because the male doctor said that her ongoing migraines were just womens issues!!!
Just a side note. One of the symptoms of heart attacks in women is *intense* and sustaining heartburn. And feeling better sitting up than laying down. I speak from experience, and was most put out with the Doctors who told me I was having a heart attack right THEN, NOT indigestion/heartburn. Also, Jessica, I adore you humor! Thank you for your time and research into this much needed topic.
As a woman in medical research and drug development industry I whole heartily thank you for this video! There is still so much bias in the medical industry towards women, especially women of color, and a general disregard towards the trans community which puts them at further risk.
I'm another in drug development and think this is a great video although i wish it could be more of a dialogue or that there was more understanding around the cost of trials and the time and resourses needed, not only now but how things have progressed over time. Theres so much thats still wrong but its also so easy to demonise the industry, based on the lack of information, but at the same time, the industry is based on the continuous search for more and accurate information. I both want to defend and slap the drug development industry for so many reasons, female health and contraception being my main massive issues.
the end of this video is making me so emotional... I've had a headache every day for over 7 years and had doctors dismiss it as stress every time I bring it up, and only just in the past few months have I been fighting for them to help me and jumping through endless hoops to get a referral to neuro and it's EXHAUSTING but at least I'm giving myself a chance
Humans make my brain hurt. Also, I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy bc the doctor (female) didn't take my pain seriously. She assumed I was miscarrying even though she mentioned it could be an ectopic, but probably not, and despite me coming into her office (after already seeing her three days prior because I was in mild pain and had been bleeding for two weeks straight which was unusual for my cycle) and almost passing out from low blood pressure (because my fallopian tube was rupturing and turns out what I had thought was my cycle or miscarriage blood was actually internal bleeding), she tried to send me home and come back two days from then. If it had been bc I had a friend who advocated for me when I was almost barely conscious, I would have died that day. My friend convinced the doctor to do the ultrasound, they found the ectopic, and sent me to the er. I was told by the er surgeon that if I had gone home instead of the er, I would have died. All because I wasn't taken seriously. Even female doctors do not take women seriously. I assume it's because the problem is systemic and even female doctors are being taught biases that keep them from taking women seriously. Like had she done the ultrasound when I was there three days prior or even when I first came in barely able to walk and half conscious, my life wouldn't have been so threatened. I'm not a doctor, but I might have even been able to have my fallopian tube saved instead of having to have it removed.
@@damlaturanli343 I didn't even think to. It happened years ago and immediately after I was just in post surgery pain and this weird i-almost-died shock. It didn't sink it how fucked up it all was until later
24 years ago after giving birth to my daughter a male doctor was showing off to a student who was ghosting him that day and twisted around to tell her to get up close to get a good look at my closed cervix, while he had a speculum inserted. He slipped and tore my urethra. Ive had 8 major surgeries to attempt to fix the damage and the next one will be a stoma.
I too have experienced gross incompetence from female doctors. They are no better than male doctors. They're all taught utter nonsense at medical school.
i'm not sure how it is in medicine but i work in the engineering industry and since i'm a lesbian, my male colleagues honestly forget that they're talking to a female sometimes. and they basically always talk about how they wouldn't hire a woman (straight/bi) to a position higher than admin staff because they are "always going on maternity leave" or "keep banging on about their kids"
Dude the “are you under a lot of stress at the moment” question infuriates me! I’m vibrating and it hurts to breathe cause my back pain is so bad; it’s not stress!
I get that a lot from my dr too. I say “well actually I’m less stressed than ever before with the exception of my back pain”. They then go on to “well you mustn’t be moving around enough”. “I swim several times a week and am more active than I’ve ever been, and this isn’t recent, it’s been a gradual change over 9 months”. “It sounds like your muscles are in spasm” “not according to the multiple massage therapists I’ve been to and the physiotherapist you referred me to” “you’re taking the painkillers too often” “you told me to take them as I need them, and I have been, try again” We can carry on like that for hours.
"I'm under stress because you're not doing anything about my pain!" 🤬 they literally don't understand how you can become and anxious and depressed *because* of your symptoms, they think it can only happen the other way round
@@denia1594 I don't agree actually, with all due respect. As someone with M.E and fibro, my tests are almost always negative or inconclusive, and my symptoms are almost always being put down to stress or depression, when I actually have neurological conditions, and have real pain 24/7. It took me 2 years to get a referral to a rheumatologist to get diagnosed, due to being told constantly that I was "just depressed", and that's why I was "tired" all the time. They wouldn't listen. Only when I planned to go in and have an actual meltdown in their office did they refer me (so not my style normally, but tbh it wasn't hard to do, considering what I was dealing with, day to day!) At least it worked to an extent!
This video puts it into words! As anecdotal evidence to this: I had pain for 7 years (since I was 7) before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and when I went to my doctor at the age of 12 complaining that it had gotten so bad that I was unable to actually function, they were like "oh you're making it up." A year after my diagnosis I went to the ER because of an allergic reaction and they found out I had a heart problem that probably caused much of my pain. And then, at the age of 17 I was diagnosed with endometriosis after I complained of such severe pain that I *literally couldn't stop crying* (I am severely emotionally repressed because I had trauma, so crying is super rare for me). My best friend was diagnosed with a pain disorder when he was 15. less than half a year after reporting his symptoms (he's AMAB). So yeah, there are severe discrepancies between male and female treatment and the amount of seriousness doctors have when hearing our symptoms.
Hormonal contraceptives have such a huge amount of side effects yet are prescribed to ANY menstruating person as soon as they ask a doctor about managing periods. Children as young as 13 are chucked on the pill with little to no conversation about the side effects.
i'm so glad you brought up the heart attack symptoms! my mum had a heart attack 2 years ago and thought she was just having an asthma attack! 😱 she is thankfully back to her usual self now and our family became much more educated about the symptoms in women - which then possibly saved my gran when she had one 2 months ago as we were able to figure out what was happening to her much more quickly!
It was the same for my two older siblings, my sister struggled while my brother got a diagnosis within a week. Took over a year for our older sister. I wish I was joking.
The even tempered delivery of "he's got a white beard. And you just want to pull it." And the seething rage beneath that is...relatable. Wonderful content, Jessica. I feel so validated watching this and other health related videos you've posted having been a long time endometriosis sufferer [not diagnosed] and only just recently realizing there may be something I can do about it!! 😐 [I was told for ages by my healthcare professionals that the only way to actually diagnose endometriosis was with surgery. So I had stopped trying]. Keep on spreading the good/terrible word of how the system actually works! 💖
26 years waiting for a diagnosis, and the amount of times that they have told me I should be on anti-depressants when I am in physical pain... Finally have a specialist appointment because I demanded it, not because the doctor wanted to give the referral
Now I’m imagining a local militia of people who show up and just GLARE down the doctors until they give an ignored patient the proper treatment. *sigh* that would be nice.
I'm trying to figure out how to begin a career as a patient advocate. Like, the person you call when you just aren't sure you've gotten adequate care, who knows the system and how to harass a doctor until they go to bat for you, or finds you an alternative, and helps you to feel less helpless within this bullsh** system. Why isn't this a thing?
This remembers me of the time I had a hypomanic episode and the psychiatrist literally said I'm overreacting, because I've been depressed for such a long time that I just forgot how it feels to be happy. I was 19 at that time and he said stuff like this all the time, but only the women and especially once younger than 30. He said to a women with bpd that she developed her mental illness for attention. And he never said it to make fun of us he genuinely believed what he was saying. That doesn't make it better at all it just made me realise how deep this issue goes. Before that and after that had plenty of bad experience and most of them are being dismissed as a young girl, lazy teenager and a dramatic young woman.
For all women reading this, when asked: ‘have you experienced any stress lately’ by a doctor, this is your magical phrase: “No, I never experience any stress. I’m just like a man in that way.” And then calmly look them in the eye. If they chuckle and say: ‘well everyone experiences stress sometimes…’. Don’t laugh along. Repeat: “Not me. I’m not like that.” and continue to calmly look at them. Practice this on your dog, in the mirror, and on your family & friends before you go to the doctor, and then go & get ACTUAL health care. I’ve done this many times and it works. Good luck!
Not always, one time I had a crushing headache for weeks nonstop, I had even issues with my vision, they didn't find anything in the hospital. Then I went to my GP again and he asked me if I had been stressed lately and what has been going on. I only realised how stressed I had been when I told him. In the end he prescribed me to stay home for a week and not do anything for work or school, just sleep and eat. Actually worked. Psychosomatic stuff is really serious too.
THANK YOU so much for this very constructive and I hope doable advice! Will definitely try this out! Last visit I had to a new internist, first thing he told me as I was entering his office was "so young and already at the internist?!?" (not sure how young he thought I was, I am 37, which is young, but not THAT young). Then as I was explaining what I went there for, he was dismissing me experiencing the symptoms I went there for with gestures, and went ahead to tell me "you need to go on holiday", after I explicitly told him I am living a period in my life with no stress whatsoever (it is true). To this I said on purpose "sorry, what did you say? *you* need to go on holiday?". He was perplexed and told me "yeah me too, but I meant you". I told him I already was on holiday and will be leaving again soon. To no avail. Next time if required I will try your advice.
7 years in the military. I broke my shoulder at some point and every time I went in to have it looked at the "doctor" (the military seemingly employs PAs instead of doctors whenever possible) would dismiss me as trying to get out of doing physical training and exaggerating the pain. Damaged rotator cuff (overuse) came up for almost a year before I actually got any kind of imaging and found out that I'd broken it at some point, it healed wrong, and bone spurs were shredding my bicep tendon. I needed surgery, I still have more or less constant pain. A man I knew was able to get a permanent profile (physical limitations explaining what activities you can/can't do) for knee pain in half that time because his doctor believed him and got imaging after 2 visits (took maybe 2 months). Pregnant soldiers were CONSTANTLY accused of using their pregnancies to get out of things, mothers were also told that they were using their kids to get out of stuff. Fathers were praised for taking care of family stuff.
As a mum everyone says "you know your baby best" and "follow your intuition" but then your baby actually has a problem and you're diagnosed without anxious mother syndrome....been there. Also on the comments from strangers: "I'm sorry, do I know you?" With an disgusted face is a good one for putting someone in their place.
My mother knew I had an ear problem and needed tubes before the drs would do anything. I couldn't hold myself up because of balance issues, but because I wasn't getting ear infections they made us wait longer before the tubes. After they were in I could sit up with no problem.
Took my 13 month old son to the doctor because he was wheezing and running a high fever, male doctor called me an "hysterical young mother (this was my second son and I was 27 at the time...) This was Saturday morning. Spent the rest of that day and Sunday trying to keep the child's fever down and running my nebulizer as close to his face as he would let me. Monday morning his pediatrician took one listen and sent me to the hospital with the child since he had double pneumonia and severe asthma. She had 3 more kids that ended up being hospitalized courtesy of the same doctor. Thankfully the pediatrician had way more pull than the guy on Saturday. She and the other doc in her practice went after the useless doctor's license and he was dropped from their call as well as several other practices and hospitals in the area, he actually had to move to another state to practice. I refuse to see male doctors to this day.
Such a double edged sword telling mothers they know their kids best. First of all, “they” can shut up, second of all, that’s usually true! So if a mother comes in with a child that’s basically dying of a bacterial infection because she noticed the symptoms of one, don’t then dismiss her and put her child at risk!
Also, as soon you have mental health diagnosis as a woman, they automatically fob you off as overreacting... 7 years of complaining about issues with my menstrual cycle were ignored because "it's not an issue unless you are trying to get pregnant". This lead to an emergency hospital admission and surgery, severe abdomen pain and a diagnosis of Endometriosis, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and ovarian lesions. Lack of research, attitudes, sexism and ignorance lead to poor medical care.
I’m a doctor: YES, YES IT IS. SO MUCH. It took my mum, also a doctor, about 10 years of debilitating menstrual pains to get herself to a doctor and get an endometriosis diagnosis because “periods hurt, I didn’t wanna make a fuss”. Granted this was about 30 years ago and she has never taken that grit-your-teeth-and-deal approach with her own patients but I am 10/10 sure if the pain had been somewhere or sometime else than period time she wouldn’t have hesitated. (Let’s not talk about that time this newbie doctor decided to flex on all his dudebro colleagues by telling me to go wash the makeup off my face because red lipstick was unprofessional and he thought a med student would be easy prey. I wasn’t) It is fatphobic, I am preparing am mcq exam and when I train some of the questions mention patient’s height and weight or BMI like that’s supposed to tell me anything. It tells me nothing, being overweight is a criteria for metabolic syndrome, some meds accumulate in adipose tissue but like, if the person writing the questions does not specify those things all my patients could perfectly well be Navy SEALS or gymnasts with very low adipose tissue content in their bodies which would make the questions obsolete.
I have a friend who, at the birth of her first child, experienced all four types of episiotomy. Why? Because the attending OB wanted to demonstrate the full range of the technique to a flock of med students (whom he invited into the room without asking anyone if that was okay). She didn't know she had grounds for a medical malpractice suit, and the statute of limitations passed before she found out she did. Between when it happened and when she was informed that she could sue and likely win, she suffered perineal pain in a variety of situations (when walking, sitting, stretching, driving, having sex, etc) and PTSD that went undiagnosed for years and largely dismissed by her family as an overreaction. She, alone, had to make her own peace with the trauma and injustice she experienced - and she'll carry these scars forever. Thank you for using your talents and skills to help women get the care they need.
Yeah, my grandmother was informed she couldn't undergo a surgery because of her BMI. Her doctor admitted out right thar he, the specialist, the one who would have done the surgery didn't think it should part of the consideration in her case, but he didn't make the rules. He then attempt edit to lighten the blow by explaining just how many people he had to turn down because they didn't fit the standards set. He also revealed he himself didn't qualify do to his bmi even though he's relatively skinny built and healthy for a man of his extreme height. So its stupid, but hey, its not personal and you're not the only one having to deal with it. This talk wasn't as comforting as he seemed to think it should be.
As a woman studying medicine, I find this information super valuable. We been knew, but I think listening to these problems makes me more aware of certain biases and hopefully I won't be one of those doctors who contribute to these issues.
Oh Gosh. I have 3 different diagnosises (some took DECADES to get). “Kids don’t get migraines” (oh yes they do) and “it’s bad menstrual cramps” (nope-endometriosis…10 years to diagnose). And “your face pain is sinus infection snd a migraine at the same time” (it was Trigeminal Neuralgia and I needed Brain surgeries…had one…will have the second soon). I have Berne talked down to big male (and female) doctors. I have so many stories I wouldn’t know where to even start! Edit: sorry about the typos…guess who had had Triptans for migraines ( that make her stupid) several hours before making this comment. 🙋🏼♀️
I saw this video title and literally said "YEP" out loud to my empty bedroom. ✨Thank you so much for this vital video. Like so many other people in this comments section, I faced sexism in the medical field for a whole DECADE before getting my EDS diagnosis. The systemic problems in medicine do destroy lives.
Don't have energy to watch rn, but I saw the title and literally shouted "YES, IT F-ING IS!!!" Been dealing with this bullshit in the US fighting for diagnosis and treatment for the last 6 years after finally discovering that it is not normal to be in extreme pain on a daily basis and to go blind when going from sitting to standing too fast. I honestly thought this was normal. THANK YOU JESSICA for helping me through the whole process!!! Thanks to you, at least I don't feel alone while having to fight the medical system! Also, you introduced me to hEDS, which I now finally have been diagnosed with, and CFS/ME. (self-diagnosed for 1-2yrs, formally 4months).
Oh the fatphobia. Not as big of an issues as the racism but still. I've gone to doctors for help only for stuff to be dismissed as 'did you know you're fat?'. Including PCOS stuff which... weight issues are a symptom of PCOS. I've had doctors tell me to starve myself. You get those looks and tones and I hate going to the doctor for help as a result. And I know others have had worse, had life threatening conditions dismissed as weight or laziness or worse. It's a mess. I know I'm fat. I also know there's a lot of research that needs doing into this other than 'lets cut out half your stomach or glue your teeth together with magnets and torture you' because genetics and hormones and brain and... so much more. But we're all just lazzy and we just need to magically know when and what to eat even if our brains trick us and we can't get help on anything else because we fat.
I've written down a week of what I eat for a doctor and had her be shocked that a woman of my size had anorexia. Another one didn't think I had periods because of my size even though I'm much more regular fat than I was thin. She was just going to skip that important part of uterus owners health information. I have a black lady doctor now and she is amazing. She really listens and follows up on things and I don't want any other doctor. She gets it.
Doesn't help the number of conditions that lead to weight gain or weight struggles and yet the assumption is generally that your weight brought the problems and not the other way around. Particularly messed up as weight gain is a side effect of so many drugs and doctors know that, yet they never seem to ask if prior to being their patient was this something that happened. Its something they have to be told rather thna thinking of it on their own. Then for the patients they get to live with knowing they only gained the weight or more weight because they were trying to fix an issue and now suddenly thats the focus rather than the issue that lead to the prescription and gain. Also just,
Have you been told by a doctor to do the milk diet yet? I have. I weighed 53kg at the time. I was pretty much emaciated but my very male doctor was delighted that I'd lost weight and wanted me to lose more. The milk diet is exactly what it sounds like, you consume only milk for weeks at a time.
@@johannafrog2684 my primary physician refuses to test me for PCOS. He says I don't fit the profile despite having almost every single symptom. I recently saw my secondary physician for routine blood work for chronic conditions (including insulin resistance) only to have him tell me that the reason my menstrual cycle went from bleeding for ten days with brutal cramps to bleeding for 4 days with no cramps is because of the metformin treating my PCOS. If my PCP had tested for it in my 20s when I first brought it up, I might not have lost my pregnancies. Now it's too late.
Whenever I get one of those weird, backhanded, or misguided compliments, I just say: "Thanks! You too!" Like: "You look just like a real man" - "Thanks, you too!" Works great
I find it so strange that femininity as a whole is talked down to and denied care in healthcare. I'm a cis man so obviously I don't have it as hard as women (especially trans women and/or women of colour) but I've been presented more feminine as time has gone on and I've noticed how my access to healthcare has gotten considerably worse as I've become more feminine. Not only is most of medical research done purely on amab bodies so how conditions affect other people is hardly known half the time, society just views any form of femininity as inferior not just in medicine but overall. It's ludicrous
If women weren’t perpetually on their back heel health-wise, they’d have the time and energy to revolt. Medical sexism isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of patriarchy.
Made me chuckle, when my husband called ambulance because i couldnt breathe because of covid, they told him that hospitals are full and just gave me bag to "learn how to calm down and breathe" :D
I don't want to be a contrarian, but there are times when meditation really helps me with my pain. However, I have to qualify this, I was taught how to meditate when I was like 7 or 8 years old and have been practicing for about 40 years, or in other words, all my life. So I appreciate what that doctor is trying to say, but unless you're really practiced in meditation, that is a fucking stupid suggestion.
Every single medical appointment, even if it has nothing to do with my weight, a doctor mentions that getting some exercise would help me. Thanks doc, once you make my joints stop hurting enough to stand for more than 20 minutes, I'll get right on it!
My friend was able to shut a doctor up in such a lovely way. Without being familiar with her history or asking about it to clear himself of that ignorance he brought up right away that it would be best if the she lost some weight and then they could see if her symptoms changed. She said she doubted it. He insisted loosing weight would help. She then got to explain to him that actually while she is above where they'd like her to be, she was down over 70 pounds from her heaviest weight, had maintained the loss for several years, had been unable to loose anything more, and she'd still been dealing with the symptoms just as she had been for most of her adult life. It just about broke his brain. Took a bit for him to figure out what to do as he'd been so ready to just pin all her issues on her weight. Sadly she left with no diagnosis or real help but it did force him to admit he just didn't know what was going on instead of trying to put a burden on her.
As a medical research analyst, this is SUCH an important issue. I always try my best to get clinicians to add inclusive race & gender options and I research best practices when it comes to analyzing these groups. It's shocking how few resources there are.
Thank you for this video. Here's my experience of belief bias- Two male paramedics called my back pain "hysterical" and told me it was sciatica and I should lose weight - they refused to take me seriously (or into hospital), told me to "man up" when I was screaming on the floor in pain unable to stand. They told me "you mustn't have much of a pain threshold" and treated me as though I was exaggerating and/or faking - and explained to my partner as such. Had they taken me in, I could have had surgery for my back. Instead, my admission to hospital was delayed by 14 hours, and my (then diagnosed emergency) surgery by a further 20 hours. As a result I need a wheelchair, have extensive impairments below the waist and daily pain from the spinal cord injury they missed. Furthermore, my male GPs for years prior, dismissed my "back pain" (essentially symptoms from my vertebrae dislocating from undiagnosed hypermobility and crushing my spinal nerves), and told me it was occupational or, because of my breast size. Yet, I have spoken to countless men who had the same back problem, but, when their symptoms were still minor - had the correct diagnosis and treatment long before it became an emergency, and have no long-lasting effects. Of course not all, but there does seem to be a significant bias in the support groups that I've seen. I was seen as a weak woman who couldn't handle a backache and thus I lost my career, my mobility and my faith in the medical system. Change is overdue!
Good point on women heart attacks presenting differently. My aunt at age 65 fell to the floor sick with what she said was terrible gas pains. They called an ambulance. She died shortly after arriving at ER. Later we found out it was a massive heart attack
On the note about people making uninvited comments on your weight, if I were in that situation I would want to say "Mind your own damn business" but what would come out is "oh... Of course..." Before quickly walking away. But I'm an awkward potato.
All of my sister’s children are adopted. The 2 middle girls are exactly 4 months apart. When they were young, Sis would get questions like are they twins? My sister would say, nope they’re 4 months apart, then she’d walk away. You owe nobody an explanation about your weight, Claudia’s weight or anything
@@sheilarough236 my sister and I are almost exactly a year apart. I was born a month premature, so for two weeks of every year we are the same age. It was a scream as kids because my mom dressed us the same so folks would ask if we were twins and be told no, then ask her age and then mine. Visible confusion for them and I would be giggling outright.
Even a female doctor recently saw me for 20 minutes and said the physical issues I've had since I was an infant, which have gotten worse, must just be due to some psychological trauma that I "need to uncover". On the "plus side", she was "pretty sure" I wasn't faking my pain...her weird looks suggested she was diagnosing me with "just psychological trauma" until she could "prove" her real theory. My therapist refuses to even consider the "diagnosis" until all physical disorders are ruled out.
I had a similar issue with female doctors. I have a history of migraines and something physically wrong with my brain episodes (one time my brain felt like static, and I lost sight and mobility) but no it is just anxiety and I need anxiety pills. 😬
@@StardustDNA it’s so frustrating! Like ma’am, I expected better from you! You would know how bad it is for us, why are you being part of the problem?!?! Hell, I haven’t even gone to a gynecologist in years because the last one I had was bad in such a way that I’ve finally decided to report her, to put it lightly. I was already having a panic attack and she made it much worse with her actions. I had specifically requested a woman because I thought I’d receive better care. If I ever manage to go to one again, I’ll need to be sedated or have someone with me. Men in the medical field, I expect it if they don’t listen to or respect me and am pleasantly surprised when they’re good. But with women, it’s like a betrayal. We need nonbinary medical professionals. They’d be fantastic.
@@recoveringcatholic554 I'm from a very medical based family. It is sad how so many female doctors don't care as they should but this comes from their bosses and how they want them to handle things. Along with, doctors just aren't paid enough to have energy to do so much, along with time. I want things to change but it's going to take a long time.
@@saccharineisnothoney it just would have been better if this one didn’t just make this diagnosis, which is beyond her specialty. Having this in my medical records will now put me at risk for the rest of my life because there are doctors who see that and won’t believe anything I say afterwards. The same thing happened to my cousin who finally was properly diagnosed with EDS but it took years of doctors dismissing her because they saw “conversion disorder” on her chart. If she just said she didn’t know, I would have been far better off. I’ve had doctors tell me “I don’t know.” It’s frustrating but at least it won’t be a setback to my future needs.
@@recoveringcatholic554 I feel you... I have been struggling to get rid of my "conversion disorder" diagnosis for years and despite the fact that 5 members of my family have the exact same symptoms as me all my doctors seem to think its all in my head... at least my gynecologist managed to put me in the minority by diagnosing my endometriosis after only five and a half years.
Finally getting around to watching this, partly in preparation for talking to a new OBGYN, after my last one deemed me "a naturally sensitive woman" and therefore didn't think that taking my symptoms seriously should be on his agenda. Symptoms like highly heightened anxiety and mood swings so severe that they've impacted my daily life. So good luck anyone who's also trying to deal with and figure out their apples. We got this.
As an afab person with Psoriasis when you said cis men get referred for treatment I gasped. I didn't know it was possible. I gave up on it getting any better.
Hi! Cis fem here, I’d like to note that ever since I was 11 I was experiencing crippling menstrual cramps. I’m talking curl in on yourself for up to 5 minutes at a time while crying. I’m talking missing weeks of school because I felt like I couldn’t move without feeling sick. When I told my parents they said I “just wasn’t used to it yet” and that I needed to learn to deal with it. I wasn’t sent to a gyno for another 4 YEARS because my normal doctor finally listened to me. Turns out I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) meaning not only do my ovaries literally grow cysts (conveniently just in time for my period might I add), not only do these cysts make everything excruciatingly painful, but it also was effecting my hormones, meaning my puberty was a pain and has caused numerous mental and physical health problems down the line👌
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