Love this! 15yrs Royal Marine, Worked 14hrs daily, on my own business, Military Contracting too, lost my wife, my kids, my marriage of 17yrs, diagnosed with TBI, severe clinical depression, Complex PTSD and 2 attempts at suicide, all before lockdown. I needed to hear this. Thank you for being transparent and having the balls to be vulnerable, that takes real strength, sir.
Phenomenal!!! You guys learned something in 6 months that many of us never learn until it's far too late. Keep communicating like that with each other no matter what. You never get a do-over.
Communication! The most important thing between a husband and wife. The lack of this ruined my first marriage...and I wanted it more than anything. When it was over, it was over.
@Mr Popeye hey Mr know it all maybe you should listen instead of having a poor out look. It's bad etiquette to judge another person let alone relationship, especially when you have big holes in your own. Please take care of that drinking problem if not for you, for your kids.
3 C’s of healthy relationships 1- Communication 2- Compromise 3- Commitment You guys look to have something really special, keep doing what you’re doing!
Lack of communication is a symptom, it’s not enough to say ‘we don’t communicate,’ there’s generally a reason or a challenge that needs to be dealt with. I ask myself, “what’s my role in this?”
I love the "keeping it real" vibe. Our problems are miniscule compared to other people and places. For me it's like watching my wife and I talk. I'm to phlegmatic and she's quite open. It's a great mix and you guys are showing it live and proud ❤❤
It’s great to see you putting up examples for those who are in a relationship to know. That it takes work to keep a relationship strong and it’s ok to accept/ask for help. If not you end up with resentment towards one another. Well done Katie & Shawn
You absolutely nailed it my friend!!!! I realized this fact about 6 years ago and said “efff it” changed my ways and it’s only been awesome ever since. Stay positive and remember 3 minds are better than 1.
Bubble bath, party time, control freak. Thank you both for opening up about addiction and needing help! You guy's are so beautiful together, I'm glad you found each other 💯 now that you did the treatment I can see that you are more happier , I have so many questions for you now 😊 Cheer's beautiful family 🙏❤️
Indeed, the struggles are out there. It's great to hear about others who have these moments, what people have been through, and the faith it takes to find the other end.
When I got married we said we were going to wait a year to think about kids, but my wife was pregnant after 6 weeks. After 3 years we had three kids. She had postpartum depression after every birth. The amount of noise and chaos in our house is intense. Sometimes you're so overwhelmed that the thought of asking for help doesn't even enter your mind. I appreciate you guys keeping it real.
Can’t help but smile watching this. Especially going through these lessons myself. We have a 20 month old and man does it get tough. Thanks Shawn for the support knowing we all go through this.
Seeing a problem, fixing it and discussing it like adults is something we all need more of. It’s easy to sweep things under the rug, but eventually that starts eating away at the rest of your relationship if left unaddressed. As a team it’s not always 50/50, sometimes it will need to be 60/40 when your partner needs help but being open and communicating will always keep you in sync. Y’all are awesome and a huge inspiration. Keep being you 👍🏻
Slogans on coffee mugs: Great 💡 idea I loved the show. I’m kinda a bit of a Control freak. Not even once in a While. Your right… that would cause resentment. Teach us, we like 👍 it. Luv you both, Sandy
I hope 🤞 you have a summer TEE SHIR This Spring. I’d like to order some of your Things. I’ve been spending $ 100.0O or so on some of my subscribers. I’d really like a baseball type tee, cap, and slogan coffee mug. Lastly…not least 🐻your gummy bears 🙌👌🏼😎
Shawn, your podcasts are absolutely amazing. I watch a lot of podcasts and you and Mike Ritland are both at the top. Thank you for all your effort. I worked for a company that was started by a WW II glider pilot. He became an excellent mentor for me for 25 years. A couple things he taught me was “ hire good people around you, then let them do their job”. “ If someone does something different than you do it, it’s not wrong, it’s just different”
Kudos youse two...what a liberating topic and understanding first of all the need you recognize the need to say help. At 65 years of age myself...I have no choice but to ask for help. Never had the need cause that old stubborn SOB refused to ask no matter how much it pained me to go solo. All these years my lovely wife of 34 years was right all along...now I get it! Thanks you two, you're certainly a fun couple to watch!
Once you can recognize that control is an illusion you can begin to trust others & finally get to a point of trusting yourself. Through constantly focusing on staying true to your inner soul, you can become able to quiet down the underlying need to control situations, people, & things by loosening your grip & breathing. Within the Teams, it feels like there are 2 different opposing realities. One reality is knowing how challenging the circumstances & dynamics can be on it's families. The second reality is what society views the job to be of a Navy SEAL. Choosing to make a change requires self-reflection, courage, sacrifice, hardwork, perserverence, & gratitude that leads to resiliency. I wish you well on this lifelong journey!
There is a book called “healthy sleep healthy child”. It’ll save you tons of sleep and your child will almost never have a tantrum. One of the best child books ever written. I recommend it.
You both are charismatic soulful people and an evolving couple who are authentically appealing. Thank you for creating enjoyable content to watch just being yourselves. May God give you the knowledge to forever grow your passions for life! Best of luck with raising your child/family!
I'm an prior PJ. Back then 38th ARRS. You have been a breath of fresh air. I left my team in 84. Old school air Force was hard stupid. We were transitioning to josoc. Constant negativity. Bringing all these type A's together. Just broke up with my fiance. But it helps to know I wasn't alone. God bless you and your wife. Love your show.
You guys are an awesome couple. Honestly within the relationship & admitting faults & that you need help, letting go of control was the best thing my wife and I did. Pretty sure it's the secret of a forever marriage.
It's not just communication. It's the understanding in the communication. It's what's being compromised, and forgiveness is tantamount. Anger is controllable for the day. That's why forgiveness is so important, on the daily. As time goes by, anger and unforgiveness start to fester and become unmanageable. That's why people want to give up on each other. They don't manage the aspects of communication, anger, and forgiveness. It's not the quaint saying of "I can't live without you!" It's the, " I have to live WITH you?!" Anyone can get along together when the 'gettings' good. That's easy. But before you get into a long-term relationship, find out what's the fighting style.... yell, scream, physical, avoidance, silent treatment? Like mindedness is very important. It's best to be similar, but not exactly the same.
Welcome to parenthood. You are both great, incredible people, which makes outstanding parents. Remember there is no "normal" life, there's just life. Respect and honor each others thoughts, ideas, and always be honest and support each other. I have made it 34 years with my better half, using these goals. GOD, family, country! You guys make a great team!🙏💕
My wife and I had these conversations for the last 15 years just like you guys. A open and brutally honest relationship will stand the test of time , but when you find your soul purpose at this time of your life , husband , father , provider you are good , and If all else fails wife the wifey don’t sweet the petty stuff pet the sweaty stuff
Susan & Tony here, We are 37 yrs into it and really every day we need to talk it out. But its been that way since day one. Don't expect anything from your spouse and they win never disappoint. Do more for others. God Bless
Last weeks mug “ Time to Party!”. & Glad to hear the treatment went well. Ever since since your Capone show, I’ve been really interested in it & wish I could get someone close to me in.
GREAT JOB guys!!!! I was a single dad for over 16 years and I never asked for help or released control. Lord knows I did need the help and should have asked. Fast forward 20 years.... my health isn't great because I didn't put myself first. It's not selfish to do so because if you don't, you may not be around to take care of those that depend on you. Secondly, it will destroy any relationship you have or try to develope. You two keep working at it, you are headed down the right path CONGRATS!!
I really appreciate these couples videos. When I watch your routine videos. I understand what your family is doing when your doing hard hitting videos. It’s got to be stressful for you a couple . You are stressing about producing the successful shows you do. It takes a small tribe to run a business. A small circle of artistic, bright, intelligent, well spoken, critical thinking, common sense folks. There’s travel, being apart as a family. Meetings, and running a home , grocery shopping, paying bills and trying to keep a social lif also. I get the babysitter debacle. I’m thankful my mom and other family helped out with the babysitting when my career got hectic, long hours ect.
I am a 100% disabled vet. I had 9 operations between 2017 and 2019, I am a single father, so if I wasn't in the hospital, I was mostly alone. I was hooked up to IV's and immobile during that time. The older boys helped me and kept things going. They were my rock, but it messed me up mentally. I met a woman from school that I had liked since junior high, but I was in so much pain I wanted to die. I was all messed up mentally, but I knew she made me happy, and she and my boys gave me a reason to fight for me to get well. It took from 2019 to the end of 2021 to get my mental meds right, hardcore counseling, letting her walk away for 5 months, and now we are back together, now that I am mentally doing really much better. My pain is much better, and now I am living the best life that I have ever had. I am physically at my worst, but I have the best woman in the world for me, we have great kids that all get along, great grand-kids, and we like the same things. We both support each other. She likes me for who I am.
The one thing I learned in almost 60 years on this earth is "Be enough of a man to know you don't need to be that much of a man". It's ok to ask for help to be the best you. I have a very strong alpha personality and have made my share of mistakes because of that. I'm in the second phase of life and want to think I have learned from all my mistakes. I probably haven't but it's still a work in progress. I'm so glad you two are sitting down and working out the things that need to be worked out. Great video. I wish nothing but the best for you two.
God bless always shawn to your family ' you know your WAIRUA is overwhelming from where I'm from in the world your a man of MANA 'your humility in every interview always shines through. I'm from NZ the words in capitals Is from the maori language who are the n ative the people of new Zealand . I'm from where Willie apiatas is from . God bless
You are both very smart.. I've seen and been part of so many relationships that suffocate due to getting too busy being busy.. There is nothing wrong with being a "Go Getter". At the same time, you have to have balance. Truly, that is one of the hardest decisions in life. Money, work, Wife, Kido's, you name it... Just remember, you can never get time back once it's gone.. Spend time with your Family. In my opinion, that is the most important part of life.. Also, communication is key, honest communication.. You two are a real treat to watch.. Thank you..
I won’t go into some grand stand comment. But I can’t describe how grateful I am for you, and your wife’s transparency. It’s a massive help and a great venue to reorient and understand that I’m on the right path to find a good companion. Thanks, Shawn.
Hey guys. Proof that the dream don't work if the team don't work and it's not a spectators sports. Also good to get this kind of stuff straight early when you start a family. Keep your screen time in check, don't be vindictive and always start that day with Gratitude. You guys are so awesome. Thanks for being so open.
I started a Family Contracting Company 25 years ago, Between the Fire Department Job and this Family Job I beat myself to damn near death. What I am saying is Delegate but never ever take your hands completely off the Wheel so to speak.
I love the maturity you two bring to the table. So raw and real. Please keep these kinds of convos going! PS. you two should end each video with a hug. Lol
As a Father of two adult daughters, If you don’t work on your relationship throughout when your kids leave the nest you won’t know who you’re married to anymore. My kids and work always took priority and I wish we had your wisdom when We were starting our lives as parents. Bless you both and good luck to you.
I miss the old days though (as seen in the commercials of old like Folgers commercials) where the "wife" was concerned about if the coffee she made her husband was good (enough). These days it would be, "Make your own damn coffee!" I don't drink coffee either, it's just the way things used to be that is such a Stark contrast to the attitudes of today.
Hey, guys, great conversation, polite and calm. I'm married for almost 19 yrs, three kids, youngest 10 So once i heard someone saying Kids used to grow up in the world of adults. I mean look at Jewish kids. They are taken by their fathers to the wall for a prayer. Kids must incorporate themselves into the wolrs of adults. Contemporary culture, unfortunately, caters to kids. As u mentioned in another video, you prepared a nice nursery for your son, and ended up not needed half of those things. There is a proverb in Russian that I attempted to translate: With the firstborn, things are sterilized, boiled, washed, dried, ironed. With the second child, the things are washed. With the third, when the child tried dog food, well, looks like the dog got some problems. So I would repeat after some othet blogger, do what u can do best, and delegate the rest. Mom is the queen of the house. You need to have a few full days with the baby, and then some half days, and sometimes a full weekend off. You can be at the house doimg chores, while the nanny walks in the park with the baby. Or whatever. Set up datenight every three weeks on a Friday night, or whatever weekday works best. It's ao excited to look forward for that specific day. Kids are given to us for a short time. Give them life, food, shelter, educate them, teach them, and then let them fly. They will go away some day and you will stay home with your spouse. Your spouse is #1, not the child. And never do for the kid what he or she can do himself/herself. Blessings!
As if your experiences in the martial world weren’t enough, now you present an entirely different side of a person(s) who won’t accept mediocrity let alone failure in their lives! I’m more impressed than ever. I only learned these things in the last 5 or so years, and it took decades of heart break and disappointment to makes myself ready to get those lessons. Keep up the great work and sharing with us so solidly.
you may see it in comments a thousand times, but I'm not sure you will actually realise how much these candid talks do, it clicks so many switches in my head and makes me think i need to work harder, Thank You both.
I’m sharing these with my sons mother/ex wife. It’s helping us be better co parents and understand our past relationship. Thank you and keep them coming.
Life is a constant struggle. Finding that person to fight along side you is the best part about a relationship. You can just tell by the way you guys look at each other that you have that. If you place family, love, compassion and communication as your top priorities then you can navigate through any obstacles life throws at you.
Thank you very much, My wife (now ex-wife) of 21 years engaged in multiple affairs with convicted felons. Additionally, she has an enormous gambling addiction with her net losses of over three million dollars. She and others engaged in a number of criminal activities (most notably embezzlement of myself to over a million dollars) to fund her losses. My life has been almost completely destroyed, however I am trying to be positive moving forward every day. I appreciate you, and your, wife’s efforts.
Those types of conversations are highly important to keep the pillars of your relationship strong. And I'm glad that you two are sharing those realities with your followers/Patreons/Communities. It surely can assist others who are looking for answers. Bravo Zulu two both of you!
You guys are awesome! As much as we enjoy watching, you guys need to do this every Sunday for yourselves and if we get to watch great, if not oh well. Good luck!
Love you guys. Your honesty is very real. It is the hardest thing to give a little control over the kids when they're so small and helpless in this world. Me and my wife never would allow anyone to watch our kids. Very protective of ours. I worked nights she worked days and passed in the wind. Weekends where ours. So business I felt like I had to do everything for it to turn out the way it should. After losing my mother a year ago and dad into Altzheimers I'm learning I have help. So good to see you guys are getting this done early. Sometimes the struggles are where we find the answers and they were always there. Live the great life. Enjoy. And thanks for what you guys are doing. It does make the difference
I really enjoy watching/listening to you two. The authenticity is appealing, but it’s more than that. I appreciate you guys sharing some of your process. You’re clearly both very high functioning, accomplished adults but you’re not claiming expertise in all things. Very relatable, encouraging and enjoyable to sit in on these conversations. Thank you!
HolyCow man!! Dude I drank so much when I got back from Iraq for far to long and didn’t realize what my wonderful amazing wife/best friend was going through along with me! We had so many struggles but we worked through them and I’ve been sober since 28June2019!!! Love you guys and all your shows!!!
You guys r very good together, We had a day care for 10 years and I retired as a firefighter on the Big island. Keep Calm and carry ON. love you guys...
Love it I also love the view of the creek I live in Miramar Florida and I built a waterfall and koi pond just for that escape factor in the day keep up the amazing work
"First step at solving a problem is recognizing that there is one." I love these videos. Not a lot of people out there are willing to discuss at length about their own shortcomings or experiences in learning... especially something brand new like being a parent. You both are willing to take a breath, recognize that help is needed and are willing to seek out whatever is necessary to get you back to neutral. Whether it be for your business, or Sonny, or more importantly, your relationship with each other .... you're finding ways to grow, get stronger, and make sure your home remains intact. I have three kids and let me assure you, it only gets better. It's all peaks and valleys ... Sonny will only make you two better. You guys are doing a great job, I have related to every story you have posted so far and I laugh out loud every. damn. time. Anyone who's a parent with 1, 3, or 5 have ALL been there. Trust it. It's not just you. God Bless you all.
I ❤ these personal moments! We can all relate. Thank you! I was feeling like Id be single forever...till i heard your story! Now i realize that the best times of my life havent even happened yet!
I love you guys, thank you for sharing with us and giving some positivity and good direction in reality. One of the only RU-vid channels I feel a "family" aspect to. Hopefully we're all on the same train trying to do well and be strong simultaneously. The openness and vulnerable talks only accent the Alpha in you both
I love how you guys are able to talk like this. Kind of embarrassed to admit that my wife and i only have deep chats like this after both of us are..... over refreshed. Other wise one or both of us end up getting our nose out of joint and shutting the conversation down. It is something to work on. Keeping the peace isnt always a good way to get shit worked through.
You Built Your House Together....Relationship Bond is the Glue. Don't Ever Give up on eachother. Now more thanever We Need Eachother. Love Your Content. GBLSS
This channel is awesome! Some of the best guests and then you let us into your world to make us married with kids people feel normal haha! We all know that it’s hard to let go of control! Me and the wife finally let our daughter have a play date at her friends house! She’s 7 😂 I know to much about the world! But I know it’s good for her socially! I pray for you two to have a long and happy marriage! Thank you Shawn for letting us in and your service to this country! God bless!!
You two are a breath of fresh air. You have fantastic personalities. You are a joy to watch. From a from an old man that’s done that and been there. Enjoy your day, Joe.
God Bless the both of you !!! You both sacrificed so much in life, you both need a breath of fresh air from time to time.... hang in there your both deserve the best out of life !!!!
Great work! What stands out to me is you 2 seem to have a healthy respect for each other, to allow vulnerability to rise up within your relationship. Filming it shows your commitment and accountability for your marriage. You 2 are very mature, keep going. By the way I have enjoyed your past shows due to the military "slant" , this " slant" is so Cool 😎. Keep mixing it up. By the way Candy, my wife, and I live in Chattanooga and come up to y'all's area to a BNB in Liepers Fork. God Speed!
I appreciate your candor guys! It seems that settling for 80% accuracy and quality is a good rule of thumb to crank out more “products” (content etc.) versus belaboring every little detail trying to ensure 100% for every single thing because you just can’t ensure that very much of the time, and you’re not going to be able to be as productive
I've been watching all these videos and am enjoying them . Sometimes it's good to be reminded that your not the only one in a relationship that's not perfect but as long as you're both trying it can be great.
I don’t know either of you personally, but you both seem to have a firm grasp on what’s the best for your family. You seem perfect for each other and I wish you both the best.
Mr. Ryan I'm new to your show. I've only seen a handful of them. And then i saw the ones with your wife and wanted to watch those first. I love them! This one especially hit home. I am now 60 years old and wishing someone would've been around and willing to share stuff like this when i was younger. My relationship with my children's father would have benefitted from hearing these things. He didn't believe that we were still a couple first and a family second. That we had to work at us for there to be a family. So by the time my youngest was 9, we were no longer a family or a couple. You are most definitely going to help some couple with you and your wife's honesty and willingness to talk. I hope you make more of, Its not just us. They matter.
Perfection as a goal in any relationship- particularly parenting- is a recipe for disaster. Good enough is what they need, and being good enough is a lofty goal in itself. Love, lead, listen- One or a combination of these is the solution to almost every parenting/family issue that comes up. Try the one that worked last time. If it doesn't work, splitting a six or seven of those big, twisted pieces of wood you've set aside to "dry" a little longer usually helps come up with a new plan, or at least keeps you from executing another bad one... In general, if you are worrying about being a good parent, you are one.
Where were you two in 1992 when my x and I needed you the most lol I wish I had learned all the things you are bringing into the forefront. Glad to see you are putting your relationship first and willing to share with everyone. 🥰 Please keep sharing, love it.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on a RU-vid video before but this one hit home. I love the Shawn Ryan Show and these more candid videos that you two put out. I myself am a control freak, it’s a miracle from God that my wife and I have lasted for 22 years because she’s had to put up with all of my narcissism and OCD. It didn’t help being a career Marine. Being a control freak made me good at my job but then it always came home with me. Luckily we made it to retirement. Thank you both and I love the mug idea.
@@ShawnRyanShow I feel like I’m still transitioning, it’s been one year this month. After over 24 years it’s a big adjustment. Fortunately do to COVID my wife and I both telework which has aloud us a lot of quality time to get reacquainted. I spent my last 7 years on AD as a geo-bachelor. It wasn’t as bad as it sounds, I was close enough to come home every couple of weekends as long as I wasn’t TAD or deployed. Thanks for the response, you guys are the best.
After 2 failed marriages and now on my 3rd we learned so much to be able to coinhabit together and deal with the past on not let those failed marriages control our 3rd marriage, we are headed to our 17th year of marriage. Takes 2 to tango!
Reminds me of how my wife always feels guilty going to get her hair or nails done. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s a very cathartic release for women to be able to have their peace and quiet and do these things. Just like it’s a man’s outlet to go work on my car for a while, or do some woodworking or whatever your hobby is. But man, business and a wife all in one I can see it being rough not being able to mentally out work aside for a while. 💯 keep doing what you’re doing both of you. People are cool shit. ✌🏼
You two are blessed to have figured this out this early in your relationship. God bless ya’s. And remember, parents don’t make children, children make parents.
Excellent content. My wife and I just talked for around 6 hours about I struggle knowing how to actually comfort her, because I never really learned how to comfort others. We, in turn, discovered that she doesn't know how to ask for comfort. These deep dives into our human tendency are the things that us free. They tend to rattle the pride and ego...but boy do they work wonders for relationships.
Lots of wisdom spoken in this piece, as an old veteran, I will just say that control is a symptom of experiences we as vets had, control it takes its toll on those who care for you, it took 40 years for me to look for help, glad you found it quicker. As an older wiser buddy at the VA told me, the Goal is to put it in a box, and just peak inside and make sure it's still in there! great content, look forward to your work.
Man been married 14 years, 3 kids, so so man challenges trying to get along while raising kids with me being a driven crazy lunatic who has to grind all the time…I’m a challenge to live with for sure!!!
It's the real world man..........I applaud both of you for seeing it for what it is. You gotta lighten up and enjoy all of it.........the work and your relationship! Parenthood is an awesome responsibility..... and a full time job if the responsibility is assumed! Work will always be there and there will always be more money to be made but you should spoil your wife and child with quality time and love. You will never regret the time spent. Great video!
My husband and I watch your show together and we love it !!! It always open up more dialogue for us on your topics. Lol I love the setting too. Can't wait to see more.
I’m so thankful! It took my husband and I 3 long years before we set “office hours”. Establishing that end of work time has literally saved our marriage. Sending light and love to you both from the United State of Florida!
