This video felt a bit like healing for me, I'm not gonna lie. Seeing Lauryn from so early and acknowledging the good, the bad, and the ugly, allows me to feel like it's okay to be in a complicated relationship with her art. Thank you Fiq.
What is the complicated relationship about? Has she made public comments that were bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, racist, ableist, ageist, or otherwise? That’s usually what people mean when they make reference to having a “complicated relationship” with the work of a specific artist or author. It’s not usually used in the context of an artist or author merely displaying erratic behavior or decision-making that seems indicative of mental health issues.
I feel like it might be a projection; growing up I felt this way too. I realized it stemmed from the fact I never received unconditional love when it mattered, so in a deep way I did not believe in unconditional love. It's taken a lot of time to realize what unconditional love is. Anyone can use the term of course, but it is most certainly a real thing and an important thing, and a real thing as well. It takes a lot of open-heartedness and bravery to see it though, because for us trauma survivors it's so easy to stick to what we're used to, even if it sucks. @@Szeptun
@@SzeptunHow is unconditional love any more of a ruse than tough love? Genuine question. I've never seen tough love produce unambiguously good results. There is always baggage from that parenting strategy. By contrast, unconditional love occasionally produces ambiguous results, but by and large results in well adjusted children. One is clearly worse than the other.
Nah. My mother gave me what she thought was unconditional love. And maybe it was, but that's not parenting. You HAVE to parent your children. YOU shape them. If you bend the knee to every whim of your child you WILL ruin them. Tough love is vital in this world. It's not the same as straight abuse or neglect. If you impose no conditions in the life of your child the conditions of the world will cripple them. As unconditional as God's love might be, this world is anything but unconditional.
Mfs can't read, if the parent is abusive they're abusive, end of story, they can call it tough love or uncoditional love, this comment was about parents who actually apply uncodutional love, even if they don't say it, not everything is about y'all
There is not such thing as unconditional love. Real life people have real life struggles and priorities that they have to go through to get where they are at. Maybe you should stop parents who have to work three of four jobs just to feed their kids from psychology books or words by rich parents who never had to deal with that much struggles in their lives. Tough love is very much helpful, but what happens is most people focus on abuse, and not love. If anything tough love is the most unconditional form of love. It takes a lot from a parent who genuinely love their children to treat them toughly so that they survive in the real world. I swear to god most of these takes about parenthood are either by dhitty ungrateful childless Mfs who definitely yells at parents when they bring babies to airplanes, or by psychology majors who has never saw or tried to empathise with people, but have never met a person they can diagnose with some mental illness.
I was living in Finland. Heard Lauryn would be in France so I took the plane just to see her. I had no friends in that city, I knew no one, and nobody cared about Lauryn that much to go with me. Lauryn was TWO HOURS late! We were sitting in the cold waiting for her for two hours and she came up, did a THIRTY MINUTES whatever that was and left. Think about a disappointed Black Brazilian woman who worshipped Lauryn? I worshipped her. I really did. This video is kind of a closure to me. I appreciate that.
Never worship anyone. You will probably most definitely be disappointed and the trauma that it will leave YOU with is dehumanizing . It gives another person the power that only God should have.
@@theresabullock3241 I learned that lesson. That was when I found out god is dead. To me, he is. I've been through too much to believe there's a God. So I worship nothing today. ❤️
It's contempt she displays for everyone by being late. Contempt for her audience, her band members and the staff at the venues where she's performing. Then goes on this crystal mommy rant making excuses for her lack of professionalism. I can sympathize with the pressure that made her like this, but I can't respect what she does.
“The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” CD was one of the last gifts my mother ever brought me. She was diagnosed with cancer and passed in December of 2000. I remember listening to a song for Zion and not understanding the lyrics. (I was 12) she explained to me that Zion was her sons name and he’s the joy of her world just like you’re the joy of mine. Till this day I cannot listen to that song without crying. ❤
“You have to be humiliated sometimes, you have to be kicked and beaten. And in that situation the person who’s kicking and beating, he’s feeling more pain than you are.” Wow, that is just sick. Tough love is truly a disease.
This is the type of thing you say when you were horribly abused and have decided to think of yourself as benefited from it because someone gaslit you and told you not to think of yourself as a victim
@@therabbithat yeah... It's really sad. People try to rationalize the abuse they went through and sometimes this leads to them continuing the cycle. It can be hard to break those cycles if you've told yourself what happened wasn't that bad and it even helped you by making you strong.
@@therabbithat this has worked for me tho, and i don’t think i was gaslit into it… viewing my traumas in life with gratitude has helped me a lot with my depression and PTSD. it doesn’t mean you condone the behavior or anything.
First time seeing your content. Growing up as the first born daughter of Chinese immigrants, your comment about the "talented kids succeeding anyway" while the less talented ones break under tough love really hit me hard. It wasn't tough love for me, just plain child abuse. I am no longer in contact with my parents. Thank you so much for covering this important cultural perspective.
I feel that. Same with "the first bullies you'll ever meet are your parents." Child abuse truly diminished me and disabled me. Being first born immigrant is really tough for me because the only family of mine who truly love me, from my mother's side in Cuba, are living in a different continent all the way on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. I need their love and support, but I am alone after cutting contact with parents. The isolation really hurts.
Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope God heals your family or that u find a new family who can support u. Just bc they are arent blood doesnt mean they arent family.
Oh damn. 😥 Them booing little Lauryn is breaking my heart. Can't imagine being that tough on a young girl showing vulnerability and bravery like that, all innocent and fragile and sweet.
That's what I loved about the Apollo cause no one was treated differently. Even a sweet 13 year old is gonna get the brunt of the Apollo. It's like the stage is open for anyone but not anyone can get on that stage.
Reminds me of this quote - “Many times trauma in a person decontextualized over time can look like personality. Trauma in a family decontextualized over time can look like family traits, trauma decontextualized in a people over time can look like culture and it takes time to slow it down so you can begin to discern what’s what.” - Resmaa Menakem,
I think this is a bit dismissive. There's the famous quote - tough times build strong men, that build strong times that build weak men that build tough times, and it's definitely true, but it's bit more nuanced than that quote would suggest. These old folks are sure as shit maladjusted to living in todays soft times - when your life is going to your 9-5 and living and loving your family, that traumas going to really eat at you. But old folks can also walk through literal hell without batting an eye, things that the rest of us would get destroyed by - if war came to our shores, most of us would shrink under the pressure, while the old-folk's generation was happy to march off to war
@@laurenmastroviti6543 Yes, everybody knows this. You see a celebrity, they have an image and you believe that image to be them. I still don’t understand your point.
@@afromans170 My point was in defense of Lauryn Hill, that she is a real person.. Is that clear enough for you? To be honest I don't really understand the original comment's point. Ask them.
My dad grew up to black parents from the 40s. Tough love was all he knew. So we were raised the same way. It took my brothers death at 27 for him to admit "I killed him" even though it wasn't his fault, he felt like how he raised us lead to his death.
You have to remember Sade walked off stage In the middle of a performance Disappeared for years When your personal life Feels like it's in disrepair It becomes extremely difficult for caged birds To sing!
I remember the first time I saw Lauryn Hill, it was Sister Act II. Her beauty hit me like a kick in the gut, then her voice knocked me over! Needless to say, I was in love. I finally, FINALLY found a woman who checked all the marks for how I saw myself - dark skinned, natural hair, spiritual, and deeply musical. Lauryn made me love what I looked like! The day I purchased the Miseducation CD, I ran to my room in university, slipped it in the CD player, lay face down on the floor right in front of the player, lights off and didn't open my eyes until the whole CD was done. Her problematic personality broke my heart but guess what, none of us is perfect! I will forever love Lauryn while admitting that she is highly flawed - just like I am.
We need to go underground again We don't need to be seen. I realize this. Black women, NOBODY deserves you so please stop looking for outward validation. We need to unite and go under the radar and communicate in code because everything we give is misappropriated, tarnished or copied without crediting us.
The Miseducation Album was the first CD that I bought or asked for *[I can't remember exactly-it’s been a hot-ass minute since those days, lol]* and to this day, it remains one of those few select albums that I consider to be impeccable from start to finish. Sister Act II was my initial introduction to Lauryn, though, as well; There are no words to describe that experience-only visceral emotions/reactions bubbling over from a profound place within. I haven't kept up with her personal life over the years, but I only wish and want the best for her and for her to acquire as much acceptance, healing, understanding, and tranquility as she can. This woman will forever be just different, in the best way, in my eyes, ears, heart, and soul-she touched all 4 a long, long time ago in a way that very few have.
My parents named me after Lauryn Hill because of the love they felt for each other and felt when they listened to her music. They felt like it expressed how they felt about each other and how they felt about me, even though they didnt know me. My dad ended up raising me a single father for most of my childhood and listening to Lauryn Hill was like getting a kiss on the cheek from my mother. She will never understand how her music impacts generations of people. I’m 23 by the way.
I had the same feelings about Frank Ocean. Certain artists speak to us in a way that really makes us feel connected to them, but in reality, they don't owe us anything. Lauryn clearly had her own issues and its not our place as a general public to impede on that, no matter how much their art means to us. Its a weird feeling to accept, but its one we just have to deal with. But at least we can say we enjoyed the art while it was happening. -Terrence.
Idk if other people feel this way, but for Frank Ocean I feel like his separation from the public eye is something I appreciate. Like it makes me see him more as an individual and I respect the fact that he isn't this commercial icon. I also think it makes me cherish what he offered in his height more because he was willing to enter into the mainstream and face the harm the music industry often inflicts to deliver it. In a sense it kind of elevates these figures to god-like status though, because it shrouds them in mystery and lends more weight to anything they put out. I think the idea that they don't owe us anything is something that further influences this feeling that we don't deserve even what they have given and an inability to criticize them.
yeah same. frank is so ....i dont even consider him a fav yet really...but i wont even listen to his last album because it hurt so bad to listen to it. kind of why I dont listen to my fav artist of all time STEVIE WONDER.
We have to remember that what is labeled as "tough love" is often just abusive behavior. Yes several of the people you brought up are successful, but many of them have been honest, much later usually, about the fact that what they're parents,coaches etc put them through was often traumatic and that though they may be successful, they still carry that pain and the issues that come from it. Lauryn is a good but tragic example, same with someone like Raven Simone. Hell, the Jackson's are probably the biggest example. I could name others but you get the point. Excellent point being made about how the black community is often so concerned with abuse from those outside our community that we don't realize that we end up harming each other just as much.
MJ's Neverland and his borderline inappropriate relationship with children is displays a whole projection of the trauma he endured under his Joe Jackson. His plastic surgeries due to his insecurity with his nose stems from that trauma.
White and from northern England where there's a similar approach to Tough Love. Parental figures feel the Love and show the Tough, meaning the people they raise feel the Tough but not the Love.
@@stalfithrildi5366 That's a big thing with the English to the point that it's a trope practically. It's considered uncomfortable, unnecessary and a sign of weakness. Explains the rampant binge drinking and why so much English culture is based around alcohol. Also explains why in the UK you see grown adults going crazy over football. You can't show emotions about real things that matter, so you put it all into "the team". Sad.
This video hit really hard on the tough love. Spent my first 12 years living in a great home with my grandparents to living with my dad to “learn how to be a man”. My pops loved us, but he was a STRONG believer in tough love. My dad was 6’4” 340+ at his heaviest, he ruled with an iron fist. If you messed up, or embarrassed him….you know he wouldn’t hesitate to put hands on you. A lot of it was “son I’m not here to be your friend”, but he did cross the line alot. I’ve been thrown over tables like a bar fight, held pinned up against walls, jabs to the face (all before 14). In a way, I believed in my dad’s mind he was helping me and my brothers with “toughness and discipline”. My pops is in prison, couldn’t let that anger go. Me and my middle brother are both college educated, married, have careers (the things he always wanted from us) and we were the ones he terrorized the most. When we talk he always tells me how proud he is of me, and that he hopes I understands why he treated us the way he did: to make us better. I always think about tho….at what cost? I learned hard work, discipline, “yes sir/no sir”, look a man in the eye, not running from your kids….all that from him….and would’ve still learned those things without getting choked out lol. It’s really a interesting concept: “tough love”.
I’ve had relatives do the same thing, but don’t let him take credit for your success. You made your life what it is in spite of “tough love”, not because of it. You built that, and your success is not an excuse for him. Wishing you all the best
@@nicholasschake8113 I think that was your father maintaining his position of superiority with the added consequence of taking credit for your success. The truth is more likely that all of his behaviour is about his own anger, his own frustrations, and not knowing how to be a parent. Sorry that you had to go through all of that, the fact that you have been able to speak about this in these comments means that you have managed to make some sense of his abuse, so I salute you brother, and wish you much happiness.xx
This guy I once saw do a lecture was a former social services worker, he was a licensed psychiatrist and nurse and had a degree in sociology. He was older, so, yeah, he'd managed multiple degrees. One of the things that made him turn lecturer for unemployed guys like me was that he'd gotten sick and tired of societal issues in home, workplaces, military etcetera. This was the mid-90's, so he was a bit ahead of the competition. Anyway, one thing he said resonated with me, and that was "Workplaces that say they're 'rough but hearty' are usually just bullying grounds where new guys get ground down until they're as abusive as everyone else." I didn't get it at the time. I later saw workplaces where this was definitely the case - the "tough love" these places practiced was just abuse, toxic as hell. All it did was weed out those who broke more quickly, turning those who broke slowly into more abusers. One of the things that gives me hope is that more and more kids these days are saying "No, this is wrong and toxic and we're not gonna take that shit. Be nice or GTFO." Because I grew up watching entire generations of working class people (and here is where this gets relevant, since the US has very deliberately kept the majority of black people lower working class) blindly believing in "tough love" and being abusive to each other. One guy saw me bleeding violently during work hours...and mocked me for being a loser. That was his idea of "how to solve workplace colleague bleeding out". "Tough love" has never existed. Someone invented it in order to convince poor people that it was okay they were being stomped on.
This idea of tough love is spread in many poor White circles through Church, too. It was clearly an idea first developed by a ruling class to help keep working people traumatized and traumatizing each other so we "stay in our lane". We don't have to accept it as part of anyone's culture.. it's just gotta go. It really is wonderful to see more and more people reject that ideology and even see it for what it is. It gives me so much hope for a better future!
This instantly reminded me of my last job. The older people thought of the abuse as just a part of life necessary to endure to get through, but the Gen Z's who were a little younger than me would speak up when our managers tried to demand outrageous things. I'm glad this new generation is standing up and changing things that have been the norm for decades, albeit toxic norms. They are not afraid to challenge the system. I always thought it'd be us millenials to do that, but it seems to mostly be Gen Z pushing that notion. My job was definitely a bullying ground from the older people who'd been working there forever and they'd take advantage of you if they felt you were soft. I fell into and didn't even realize it until I left last year. I worked there a decade and endured so much bullshit.
One of the things that gives me hope is that more and more kids these days are saying "No, this is wrong and toxic and we're not gonna take that shit. Be nice or GTFO." To which too many of us oldheads respond, "These soft-ass kids today..." and further justify it.
@@oku12 Big Facts. I am an old Millennial that stood up to this type of normalized bullying in the workplace and within my family and I was treated like I was just a crybaby troublemaker...um no, hell to the fudging no- this old school way of trial by unnecessary fire is NOT gonna fly with the younger generations and I FULLY support them.
Black women are judged so damn harshly it drives us insane and causes so many health problems. Giving her grace is only right. The miseducation of Lauryn hill is my favorite album of all time.
It's still hella tracks off Miseducation that I heard as an anklebiter that still echo through the back of my head to this day. Grace is the only answer.
I couldn't help but compare her to Nina Simone for a lot of the video. So talented and young. So maligned and cornered. So lost and full of potential. So beautiful and so Black. I'm glad it didn't get as bad for Ms. Hill as it did for Ms. Simone. Both of their stories hurt my heart.
Thank you for asking if tough love is nothing but dressed up trauma. I think it is. I'm not African-American, but I grew up with parents who bullied me. As an adult I saw this dynamic called out on "Arrested Development" and it's my favorite moment in the show. I've seen Lauryn's Apollo video before, and I felt so bad for her. As a singer, I could tell exactly what was happening. No matter how much you've trained, your nerves can betray you when you get in front of an audience. Your throat can dry up and tighten, and you don't sound good. Then you lose more confidence, and get more nervous, and it's a horrible feedback loop.
I felt the same thing about her Apollo performance. It was nerves, not lack of talent. Her nerves got the best of her in that performance and she was also very young, I think a teen.
It doesn't matter what critique you have of Lauryn's album. The one thing that is absolutely clear, is her incredible love for black people and black women in particular on her album. That's what allows it to stand the test of time, even when the politics goes stale, the love endures. Because love always endures.
Absolutely. Her sound, image, her spirituality was not being dictated to from the "disconnected ones" that has no love for Black culture but want to appropriate and pillage. Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu forever 💜
I was warned many years ago by an older musician to never give away 100% of yourself to your audience, to always keep a little for yourself. At the time, I thought it was just the cynical rant of an old man. But now, after having had my own share of burnouts as a struggling independent artist, I understand and appreciate where he was coming from. It's an important thing for everyone to remember, regardless of your work: never ever give all of yourself away. Because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to go home and deal with your ego. And you need to be there for yourself, to live and dream another day. I think Lauryn revealed too much, thinking that total transparency is what is needed to make art. And sure it will produce amazing work. But opening those floodgates to total vulnerability just exposes yourself to a lot of toxic elements out there. People won't even realize at the time what they're letting in. I think Lauryn realized this a bit late but she shut it down as a survival mechanism. She had to live for herself, as more than an artist, but as a human being. And I'm glad that she did. Otherwise we would've lost her already. Sometimes you just have to say f off to the music and save yourself.
Maybe it requires balance? Taylor Swift has epitomized the parasocial relationship, she's so open and honest in her songs that fans think that they know her personally
@@lotrfan8taylor’s “vulnerability” has already begun to be her downfall… it’s just not going to hold up. As someone who was deep into the fandom and has begun to step outside a little bit lol
I think about this too with amy winehouse, I think the back to black album killed her. She would go up on stage night after night singing her pain to people who just wanted catchy songs.
Lauryn hills life and struggles kinda mirrors nina Simone , being talented and gifted so early, becoming famous early, the fractured relationships with men, the down hill of careers, the abuse nina did to her daughter, etc both gave us so much but lacked accountability
Ironically, Lauryn Hill is a huge fan of Nine Simone lol. I don't know much about Nina, but I've heard she had a very tumultuous life and she was extremely progressive in her fight for black activism. She seemed to have a militant spirit about her.
@@TheNewgreatlife yuppp “I’ll be nina Simone while deficating on your microphone” nina became erratic later on in here career I do believe they said she had bipolar disorder. I think she felt so passionate about activistm because of the trauma she face in NC and because she was an empath who felt things entirely
That sense of not wanting a person's art if that art is what is destroying them is something I completely believe in. I had a conversation with some friends recently about the Harry Potter stunt double who was paralyzed as a result of an explosion during the filming process and my takeaway from it was effectively that I don't want big stunts in movies if they can't be done safely. Lauryn Hill's story is much more complex than that little snippet but emotionally it's a similar experience. As an audience, we are not owed entertainment at the expense of someone else's wellbeing. Money, time, effort, whatever maybe sure. Not their wellness.
I completely agree. I'm a huge fan of Marina and I've seen a bunch of people complaining that her music isn't as 'deep' as it used to be- but she's admitted that she used to be extremely unhappy in the past, and I'd rather an artist enjoy themselves than make 'better' art.
I think a lot of beautiful art can come from pain, but what crosses the line for me is when people hurt themselves intentionally for the purpose of the art they’re creating.
@@fusetunes reminds me of the weird reaction to Lorde's last album which, undoubtedly is different stylistically than her first two albums, is very beautiful and shows a level of healing and work on herself that she may have done since her last album. And fans were upset because she wasn't writing music about deep pain and poor coping mechanisms.
There’s a difference between art in and of itself destroying someone, and an accident occurring that causes injury. They should both be dealt with but the solutions may be different. The audience isn’t owed entertainment if someone chooses to leave, but I also don’t know if, for example, the Harry Potter stunt double would describe his life as “destroyed” or thinks he should never have been allowed to work the job he did if it was what he wanted to do. I can decide what to watch, but I don’t think it’s up to me to dictate whether or not the art is worth doing. That’s up to the artist imo.
From 43:35 to 44:05 I felt that. It took me back to when i requested a day off from work, got all dressed up, drove over an hour to stand in line in the cold by myself to see Lauryn in concert. I went alone because everyone I asked to go with me already knew what I had to learn the hard way. After waiting for an hour the line started to dissolve as news spread that the show was cancelled. I looked around confused but held hope and stayed there until a random stranger looked me in the eyes and said bluntly "She ain't coming." So that part of your video stood out. She is a private person now and doesn't want anything to do with us. We need to take the hint.
Extremely elated that the Manosphere arc is dead; not because I didn't love it but now my good uncle doesn't have to subject himself to misogyny & 17hr hate streams anymore 😮💨
I'm happy for him to be extracted from that space for a minute. But it is so important for men to speak up about how they see what's going on and it is very not okay. Bless Fiq!
“What if Tough Love is just trauma we’ve mythologized as useful”. This question and the framing of this video is excellent. Thank you doing what you do!
I loved the unplugged performance. I was a teenager at the time and I don't really get caught up in the artists lives. I really loved her voice, I loved the rawness. I loved seeing her after so long. I hoped she was finding peace of mind. I literally liked the sound so much that I learned most of that unplugged album.
She was shuting evil out. She lived a hard life in the industry, with the group going haywire. And nobody know but herself. I wish I could meet and talk to her one time. She talks about a higher power being in control and having say over the population. Do we live in a communist country or what? How after so many years, we became comfortable with allowing the government do to us as they wish.
First timer: a little constructive criticism: no offense seriously but I think you talk way too much bruh. I would have enjoyed the video more if I heard more of her/them and less of you. Much of the narration was unnecessary and seemed self indulgent.
even as a white person that segment had me introspecting about my childhood (or lack thereof) because of my parents "tough love" pushing me to success, until i suddenly collapsed under the pressure.
maybe because I'm revising disorganized attachment I'm seeing it everywhere but.. is this disorganized attachment? Becoming the source of fear for the one you love and who depends on you
I'm glad she is still with us. I'm considering the parallels between her and Amy Winehouse, and it's easy to see how things could have spiralled out even worse for her.
@@sassy1j102 I mean... I think this also misses historical context and also misses that these people were _individuals_ from different cultures. You're doing, in your own way, what FD discusses at the beginning of the video, regarding not noticing those whom have fallen through the cracks and using an exception as the rule. And if that wasn't your intention, that's what it reads like ya know?
@@sassy1j102 You can praise women without tearing others down, you know? "Barely started to make waves" is a poor choice of words, for a woman whose sophomore album sold 16 million copies and couldn't leave the house without an army of Paparazzi on her feet - documenting every misstep. Your comment is also incredible dismissive towards anybody suffering from drug addiction. Overdoses have nothing to do with missing spirituality. That's just magic thinking on your side.
@@sassy1j102 Dude you're a trash human being. You're saying Amy Winehouse died because she didn't have the strength of a black woman? Get mentally evaluated.
Lauryn Hill legitimately gives me a panic attack sometimes. As the son of a black father who put all the world's weight on his shoulders I connect deeply with her art and the way she was basically gaslit by everyone for being honest about systemic corruption.
In her peak Lauryn was a huge icon. Not only for the African American community. The whole world fell in love with her. I was a white college boy in South America and I was deeply in love with her, with the idea of her. I’m now thinking there might be a clue somewhere there of the pressure she probably felt under. She was in a way the idealized black girlfriend of the world, including white people, white America, who by fetishizing her were indirectly telling all Black women: “look at her, that’s how you gotta be, that’s how we want all Black women to be. Don’t be like Kim and Foxy, be like Lauryn”. Not even Beyoncè was ever put in that position. Maybe Lauryn, knowing how deeply inside she was imperfect, couldn’t handle such pressure.
@bradley brown I'm very well aware of that. I clearly say that I'm from South America (Argentina to be precise). I grew up, and at the time I lived, thousands of miles away from the United States, in a different culture, with a different language. And I say that to point out exactly how impactful she was even internationally. She was huge outside of the US as well.
Lauren's role in ushering in the natural hair era and changing the aesthetics of black beauty, and femininity to be more inclusive and away from the (what I call) black skin, European featured beauty is undeniable. She felt like a contemporary Nina Simone, to me at 17 (before I knew who Nina was). Like the rest of us she is complex and complex is difficult when done in the view of everyone.
She inspired my hair journey. I've had locs for almost 20 years now and afro before that and was getting teased now everyone is natural and/ or has locs.
Lauren Hill remains, to this day, one of our best and brightest. Her struggle is our struggle. So I will sit in my glass house and quietly work on my own shortcomings. Great video thank you for creating it
I laughed at the "it takes too long to explain, you had to be there" He might not make a ton of jokes, but the few he sprinkles in the videos are so good
I remember watching Todd in the Shadows review the unplugged album and Jesus Christ it’s disturbing. He points out that we’re essentially watching a struggling woman have a breakdown in real time and he’s right. Like it’s genuinely uncomfortable in its rawness, especially during the Peace of Mind performance where Lauryn is simultaneously pouring her heart out and desperately trying to hold herself together.
Hell even for his Trainwreckords series, it was sad, like there is the usual sad for that series (MC Hammer, Will Smith, Billy Idol, etc) but that's sad in a sellout way, she was sad in a emotional way, like damn, the only other episode even close to how sad that was is The Carpenters which if you have to throw in someone's death and Karen Carpenters' voice into something and it's still not as sad, you it's bad
It's the Trainwreckords I can't rewatch because of how heartbreaking it is. Ive had my share of emotional breakdowns in my own home, watching someone else suffer that in public (and then the public feeling shame about being stuck there, unable to either help or leave) is just too much.
As someone growing with Mexican immigrant parents I actually heard her music from them. Oddly enough they would only play Mexican music and Ms Lauryn Hill was the only non-Mexican artist they would play. I never understood what she was saying since I did not know English. I loved her voice though. Then growing up I tired finding her music again because I didn’t know the artist as a child. As a child I never felt I fit into American culture as I never grew up with it. Ms Lauryen Hill was the gateway to making me feel like I belonged in the USA. This was basically my first semblance of “American” culture “Killing me Softly With His song.” Was the first R&B song I heard and it slowly pushed me into exploring more music as a teenager.
If it helps anyone, Lauryn Hill is still inspiring people. I am 16 years old, I haven't witnessed Lauryn Hill as a public figure ever, yet Miseducation is one of my favorite pieces of art ever made and it has helped me through so much. Everything Is Everything is maybe the entire reason I survived the covid lockdown, and my love for that album was my motivation to seek out her as a person and her other work. I didn't discover the idol I wanted to, I discovered a real person, with all the things that means. This video is great, it is an icredible nuanced take that I whole-heartedly agree with and support, but just know that there IS a legacy, Lauryn Hill will not fade away, because you know I will force my children to listen to this in the car. Much love.
It certainly is one of the most important hip hop albums ever made. As someone why was in my mid teens during that timeframe, moving from a rural suburban upbringing to a number of inner cities. It made me better able to grasp the reality of what I was seeing. Why things were so much different than I had known growing up, more easily about to integrate into a culture I had only heard of on records.
I get out off unplugged literally helped me walk out of an abusive relationship. I hate that people feel like if someone shares part of themselves as a gift just because you liked it or loved now they somehow deserve all of you
I still remember where I was when I first heard Killing Me Softly. It was in the restaurant of the campground my family and I were spending our summer vacation at. I was watching some older kid playing on the World Cup '94 pinball machine, and he actually paused playing.
Think i remember, some time in DC on a trip, dad took us to visit his side of the family. Some time in 96, and i heard it a lot since then...in Washington state. ❤️
I truly appreciate the breakdown of Tough Love in the Black Community. Thank you for that. I have come to understand that I love Lauryn Hill’s artistry, but I don’t own her (love does not own) I held on to the hope of her releasing another album for 10 years before I gave that up. I have mourned what I expected of her and understand that those hopes were my own and she was under no obligation to fulfill them. I was disappointed, hurt and felt let down. But given the choice of my mental health over my work (even work that I love to my core) I would choose my sanity. I give Lauryn all the grace (after I got over my own anger at wanting more of her to consume) because in the larger scheme of things this woman has had a huge positive impact on the culture and on me-and who is perfect? I agree that the “savings souls” comment was gaslighting though, and I am glad that I have enough autonomy to disengage. Her album is one of the best of all time to me…
The concept of “ownership” you mentioned isn’t something I think fans think about nearly enough. Due to the investments fans put into engaging with a figures art, whether it’s their time or money, a sense of ownership usually forms and creates some very unhealthy relationships with artists and other celebrity figures and the fans often wind up dehumanizing said figures. It’s happened so often it’s standard practice at this point, but I’m glad you touched on that.
I’m forever grateful she taught me the line of the parasocial relationship between consumer/fan and artist/producer. I never want to put any additional pressure that the machine already does, nor do I want them to sacrifice their art to appeal to my “needs.” May their product be of their highest self and present when they feel comfortable, regardless if that “moves me” where I’m currently at.
@@riotron1026 I agree. I do believe the concept of ownership in our society is spread way past art. It’s the imperial part of bell hook’s “imperial white supremacist capitalist patriarchy”. Our world more or less runs on the ownership of others in some way or other.
@@CommunitySage That…is very true and pretty sick to think about. How many sports fans were treating figures such as Colin Kapernick and others who dared to express their humanity is a shining example of that level of ownership or ownership mentality.
Growing up watching sister act 2 i was just mesmerized by her unapologetically black beauty and mannerisms. And then hearing her sing and rap. She had the world in her hands at that time. Such a rare talent. Happy that we were able to experience her, however short lived it may have been
As a massive fan of Lauryn Hill who is white, I find myself explaining to my friends a lot just how impactful and revolutionary she was/is and why. This video really gives me some incredible further context and nuance to her importance to the Black community so thank you. I’ve always seen her as such a voice for rebellion and protest but have a lot of trouble marrying that with these crazy and contstrictive religious views she has around morality, gender and sexuality. I saw her in 2017 in Atlanta and she was over an hour late and yelled at people for singing along. By the end of the concert i was at the front of the stage because so many people had left. Somehow i again purchased tickets to see the fugees reunion tour in 2021 but it ended up canceled. Honestly sometimes I’m glad she kind of disappeared from public eye instead of staying in it and deteriorating my ability to support her even further a La Kanye. I don’t think anyone with that much talent and power can ever be truly sane lol
Thanks to CJ the X for the "10,000" votes for this and F.D. for nailing it yet again. I wanted the Lauryn Hill video to happen, now it has. Yes, absolutely bittersweet.
I'm literally a 21 year old middle eastern girl from Iran and I didn't know a whole lot about Kanye or Nicki or Lauren Hill before I started watching your videos on them but I relate so bad and Idk maybe it's because even though I wasn't their fan like you or others were .. I feel for you guys and your idols. btw just yesterday I accidently came across Killing me softly for the first time and then you made this video, we have happy accidents :) this was one. p.s. I love Nina Simone and she is one of my idols I don't know if you want to or not but I really would love to see a F.D. video on her..
I think the struggles they go through publicly and the message they either embody or speak on are universal to some degree. That's why we can relate to these figures in some way or form.
"Not enough to love us back." She loved us. She still does. She's not just able to love herself enough. She's been going through really tough challenges. Let's pray for her to embrace her inner strenght. Let's all be here for her to embrace her
This is a fantastic video. Can't describe what it is, but the editing, the pacing, the way you set up that pay off when Lauren Hill performs at the Apollo. Damn good stuff.
Wow, subscribed to you both for your excellence in writing and your deep insight into the human condition. Would've never thought to see you here, but ya know... considering your subject matter and approach to tough topics it makes sense that I would see you both on the same video.
tough love is outdated. 2023 and beyond I'm loving everyone gently and with kindness. its very true that the world won't coddle you, but i think you need to feel a gentle kind of love so you know it doesn't HAVE to be that way. and so you know people have the capacity to do more than love with one hand and hurt with the other, because we can use both hands to love and there never has to be a space for harshness. the world won't be gentle with you- so i will.
The “we have to work twice as hard to get half as much” seems to harp on that tough love in that we continue the cycle of abuse instead of changing it and ending it.
Just chiming in, in '96 I was a very-grunge white kid with feet deep in the underground jungle scene, and I remember "killing me softly" feeling like a game-changer. Like, it was so powerful it reached out to completely different universes.
Are you, like. Referring to "Jungle Scene" as in liquid drum and bass or as in referring to black people. Because if its the latter instead of the former what the fuck dude
@@geekylove3603 yes, but i was just commenting that one could be extremely distant from hip-hop in '96 and still have felt the effect of "miseducation"
As she stated in her song “Lauryn is only human”. She always was vocal about how she was just like us, have issues and things to work on just like us. She constantly said this. She never placed herself above anybody. She’ll always be an artist
Summer of 1996 ruined my life you were so spot on with that. I feel like I need to send this video to every therapist I have in the future when I explain to them that seeing someone as insanely talented and beautify not get their flowers growing up definitely did something to my development.
Yeah, this is a good video. My mom was relentless with her tough love shit and within a few years at around the age of 7 or 8 it just turned into "getting drunk and beating the fuck out of me" instead of anything even remotely useful. We were rich and everything, my dad got her whatever she wanted, she just... realized she didn't like me as much as she thought she did. We stopped being rich and lots of time passed but only after I started showing signs of becoming successful (I was a dreaded "Gifted Chyld", lord fucking help me) did she toss out a token apology, but by then she was content with trying to hurt and offend me everytime we spoke and the apology itself all just came out... disgusting and mutated. I told her a week ago the truth of what I thought of her and even though I explicitly stated that I do not hate her she decided to cut her loses and just pretend I no longer existed instead of face whatever perceived humiliation awaited her. In a way my childhood was a lot like going through some kind of military training; I learned to check my food before eating it cause she liked to put inedible stuff in it like pieces of pencils and paper if she thought I was eating too much (she also loved to call me every fat name in the book, it would actually be pretty funny via absurdism if it werent a grown ass person saying it to a fuckin baby), I grew a phobia of people walking behind me because... well, thats where suckerpunches, chokeholds, trips and slams come from, and I learned how to fight from an extremely early age. I never dreamed of putting my hands on her cause I knew she'd kill me but I became so good at dodging and predicting swings that she eventually told me straight up to my face that she felt bad for me cause "the only way you learned how to dodge like that was from me". There are quite a few other things I know how to do because of my childhood but this comment is long and stupid enough so I'll cut it here. And, although useful for surviving my childhood, none of my involuntary defensive mechanisms help me at all in my relationship. Been in a long term relationship with my best friend of 10 years who came out to me and confessed in 2016 and I STILL have random bursts of rage, distrust and sometimes delusional thoughts (on top of such stupid shit as not letting him walk behind me or flinching whenever he raises his hand whenever I'm not looking right at him/out of the corner of my eye). He's the only reason I'm still alive, so to see that I can't even tell myself to stand down and act fuckin normal around him is humiliating. He says he loves me unconditionally but man I wish he still didn't have to put up with it, he deserves better. Aight, I'm done talking, get the fuck up on outta here and back to ya life
What a horrific upbringing! I’m glad you found love after all of that because that’s exactly what will help you heal. I know it’s so helpful to have someone who knows you and is there for you. Be patient with yourself and let him love you anyway. In time, your subconscious will catch up with your conscious mind and know that you’re safe with him.
Hi there, this comment is not at all stupid, and if it helped you reflect a bit I'd say that is well worth it. You are incredibly resilient and brave to be here and willing to love after all that and you had no say in the matter. I understand how it could feel "humiliating" when your instincts kick in, but that's probably the harsh way you learned to see yourself in... not reality. It's not humiliating, or embarrassing. It sounds like your partner doesn't mind, like he understands. That means it's acceptable then. I don't know if I misread what you wrote, but just in case, you don't have to beat yourself up for having these defenses up. You were forced to build them unwillingly, to survive - and bc of how the human brain develops, you can learn new strategies and strengthen them with practice, but you cannot really erase old patterns. It must be super frustrating not to be able to shake them off, of course, but I just want you to know, that happens because you are human, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think you can be very proud of leading a good life, you moved on as best as you could and you are not causing the same kind of pain on someone else. It's quite exceptional, really. Stay strong!
I felt this in every way, my mother is a fucking monster. And in the same way you spoke of your mother shaming and putting things in your food struck a chord w me. She gets a blue xan prescription and she used to slip it in our food, by the time I realized what was up i was 12 with an addiction. The only reason I even noticed was because I went to a friends house through a weekend and wasn’t able to deal with anything due to withdrawals that I didn’t even know I had. Which led to years of an addiction and due to the severe beatings I deal with chronic pain. Like she would full on slam me like I was a WWE wrestler when I was like 5. I’m sorry if anyone else relates to this, but honestly it makes me feel better no matter what I went through someone is going through or did go through something similar; to know we aren’t alone. 🖤 it gets better once you get away and while trauma isn’t great, you’re never alone. Even if you don’t know them; there’s someone out there with your struggle❤
Your vocal tone combined with your diction also the rhythm is so calming yet commands attention I think your skill for writing and speaking is quite amazing !
Duuude. Where is she today?? She was way up there for a while. I remember Erykah Badu very well. I remember watching her on MTV and going out to get her CD. I'd love to find up what she's up to now, if she still performs or not.
@@nenej12 yesss!!! I am Still to this day soooo disappointed n Ms Badu and that was 4 years ago..I went to go see her when she was on tour with Nas 4 years ago in Atlanta at State Farm Arena, and she was 3 hours late-she only Performed for 30 mins before her mic was turned off and everyone was told to leave.
Lauryn got sued because she didn’t credit her co-composers and musicians. It’s a bit more than bandmates. What appears was that she wanted to have the highly coveted genius label (written, composed, played by). There’s an episode of behind the keys by James Poyser where he relates (as kindly as possible) how the mystification happened. Lauryn used FUBU talk to be just another oppressive capitalist. I have family members who are musicians for touring artists. Twenty years ago, one of them told me that a lot of vet black musicians did not want to work with Lauryn because of the way she would treat collaborators. Heck, there’s even a rumour that there was supposed to be a band for the MTV unplugged. More recently, very famous musicians (Glasper among them) have explained what’s going on with the lateness and whole bad vibes around her shows. Last minute hires, unprofessionalism, pay cut in half the day before the show. Also the reason why what you hear during the concert is not the same version that you heard on Miseducation ? She still does not want her cocreators on the album to receive checks. I really loved Lauryn Hill, but this is ugly.
There’s no boogeyman political system that makes people selfish; that’s human nature. People want to be seen as geniuses, and often labels benefit from their stars being seen as geniuses. Very simple human self-interest. The same reason communist leaders invariably give themselves all of “the people’s” riches. Madonna stole credit for songwriting. Nearly all of them do it. In most cases they just legally pay others extra to take credit for their talent. Nearly every celebrity author uses ghostwriters.
I was writing up my own response and I'm so glad I scrolled down and read this. 100% spot on. I think she's a talented woman who found herself in the right place and right time and with the right people when recording Miseducation. The studio musicians wrote legitimately that whole album and she didn't give them any credit. There's no excuse for that. Plus you add in her obvious disdain for her fans and refusing to show up on time and all that, and just, yeah.
Agreed. And this is not an excuse, but certainly from the history I can see how a black woman would go into the music industry in America with an attitude of "I'm going to do everything I can to get everything I deserve". But yeah, that shouldn't be at the expense of other artists.
@@j7th389 That does not make her a fraud. Lauryn Hill is a genius. And maybe she took advantage of all the goodwill that genius can gather. She's far from the only one in that case.
I don’t think its fair to criticize her unplugged as an album or anything other than a raw set of unfinished work and trains of thought. There’s definitely many gems in there.
The unplugged album is so amazing to me , it was so real and so raw and felt like it was us listening into her personal unsaid thoughts atm and conversations between her and GOD
Lauryn Hill was an icon of my childhood (pre-teen/teenage years). She was beautiful, talented, cool, respected -- all the things a young black girl wants to be in those years of her life. I feel blessed that I got to see her live during the Miseducation era
The fact that she is not only once in a generation level talented but also drop dead gorgeous is a lot for anyone to handle. Especially once you’re thrust into the limelight
Ehh. A lot of artists are as talented as her and as beautiful and don't affect fans the way she does. I feel like your comment displaces blame. In light of recent developments wherein she basically tried to treat her own fans as if they were entitled for expecting her to show up on time rather than ALL OF THE THOUSANDS OF THEM be expected to stand there waiting for up to an hour or more, I'm sorry. Whatever her trauma might've been or her dispositions are, she doesn't get a pass when everyone else doesn't for acting that way. If anything, when you're a rich celebrity, you have easier access to better resources that are designed to help alleviate mental health struggles. Lauren Hill isn't some special little sparkle that should be excused due to her disposition. Everyone should be held to the same standards for decency as each other. Equally. Nobody should get a pass. In short, you don't get to be a royal B just because you're famous and pretty. Imagine even thinking that's a logical conclusion to make.
@RedceLL1978 right. The hardships she's experienced in life, that sucks and that's valid. But like he said, at some point you have to realize you're not 23 anymore. Lauryn has to take responsibility for her actions, just like everyone else. You don't get to be a shitty person and avoid growing just because you made one of the best projects of all time.
The thing about it is... Lauryn gave us so much, so young, and we didn't deserve any of it. She left such an indelible print on us all and we have no idea the price she paid to do so. Art is for the artist, it is theirs ... It belongs to them. If they allow us to hold it, to behold it, to hear it, to love it.... Then that is our gift, a benefit of love and God's gift through them. We judge the artist harshly, selfishly demanding from them their beauty, their emotions, their love, their songs, their heart, their soul and we think we have the right to do it because we suppose we know them. Lauryn touched us deeply and hurt us deeply... But we hurt her deeply too. She was bold and fierce and courageous to show up as exactly who she was without pretense, to show us herself: beautiful, pensive, deeply thoughtful, flawed, passionate, curious, confused, loving, afraid, tender, strong, vulnerable. It is us who rejected her, giving her no grace, no safety, no patience to grow into a woman. Judging, booing her offering like we did in the beginning on the Apollo stage when her presentation and methods and life didn't fit into our idea of how a "celebrity" should be. We took for granted she was giving us her heart. Hell, we got a piece of her for 14.99 and we thought we owned her. She was ripped apart by millions, clawing, demanding, scrutinizing, judging .. It is us who ruined what she could have given. We proved to her she couldn't trust us. Maybe it is that knowing that strikes real pain in our chests, a regret akin to sorrow when we remember her, a longing for all the glory, beauty, masterpieces she has buried in her heart, away from us.
“U know, why we feel like we have to… exist in caricature… and non-reality” SHEEEESH starting like that, whoa! You can feel the pauses when she needs to think a little just to catch the words, put em in line and crank out the speech.
I was basically still figuring out coloring in the lines when Lauryn Hill was really big and I never realized just how *young* she was when she won all those Grammys. I can't imagine that level of massive success is easy when you're in your early 20s.
I thought I knew an okay amount with how Lauryn struggled, but this is the first time I've ever heard she had six kids. That's incredibly hard on a person's body, I can't imagine the amount of struggle she went through doing all of this /and/ having six kids. That's wild to me.
Thank you for this. I attended the Lauryn Hill and the Fugees reunion tour this weekend in LA and I am still so moved and inspired to have witnessed the greatness of these cultural icons together again after all this time. I was explaining Lauryn's story to my bestfriend and I was so emotional. I understand her struggle in a different way, as an artist and as a Black woman. But one thing is for certain, her talent was and is still unmatched. I'm grateful to have witnessed her rise and her struggle, and alll in all, I have so much respect and compassion for her as an artist. ❤ I also enjoyed the unplugged album and performance. Her raw authenticity gave us a glimpse into the woman behind the persona. Its hard for us to imagine artist on their off days, when they are low and things are heavy. But she gave it to us. It was a beautiful mess , but it was full of honesty, and her new found freedom to just be. I will always be a fan, and supportive of her work.
Loving lauryn is problematic because I do love her but I know I wouldn't like her and I know she wouldn't care. I also can't defend her ,I don't agree with her ways but what I do know as a woman is Miseducation stayed on heavy rotation for at least ten years in my house. It is the one album that rings in my head and in my heart to this day. When love exploded my life, it was my cipher , my road map to the way back. I love lauryn because she embodied my struggle to love my authentic black female self at a time when the world saw nothing of value in me. She is my soul understanding of one love , so the concept of lauryn owing me something even as the devoted fan I am is foreign....she already gave what she came to give anything else is icing. Thank you for a very balanced look at who she was and what she means, in many ways I think we are all a little heartbroken for what might have been, all the ways she could have opened for us, advanced us, but then there is gratitude and the lessons that an imperfect life imparts. I still love Lauryn but I had to let her off the pedestal and accept that she didn't want or need to be my role model and that she never asked me to love her, she asked me to love Us and to love and respect myself . I think as Nikki Giovanni said that Lauryn dug that if she was a natural woman doing what a natural woman does she would have a revolution.
Amazing video. I'm a older millennial as well so I remember all the things you do, except I'm not black, so I couldn't imagine just how much deeper she could sing into my soul if I were. I think Lauryn Hill was the first unapologetic black artist I ever got to experience, and she blew me away. She was so beautiful and talented, we all fell in love. That being said, I always just imagined she suffered from mental illness as she grew older. I couldn't consider all your points from the black perspective about tough love and how it could have resulted in that toxic relationship she developed with her art, and the toxic relationship she now has with her fans. This has been really eye opening, and from the bottom of my heart, I really hope she can find happiness. That's really all I want from her, she doesn't need to do anything more. I still regularly listen to The Score, but now I'm going to listen to Miseducation again for the first time in over a decade. Thanks for the video.
Ms Lauryn Hill is one of the biggest 'What Ifs' in music. I 100% agree with you on her verse on Nobody, but these lyrics always play in my head: "They tried to box me out while taking what they want from me. I spent too many years living too uncomfortably, making room for people who didn't like the labor but wanted the spoils, greedy, selfish behavior."
Same with Nobody, but literally everything else she skillfully poured out into that verse has to get overlooked because of the problematic "Lateness" line...
Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is one of the best albums EVER created. 20some years later, I still bump the whole album on a regular basis!! ALSO, Lauryn Hill is one of the most physically beautiful women I have ever seen in my whole entire life.
She absolutely is a goddess. I’m a straight white lady but as a teen I was in absolute love with her. I wanted to look like her so badly. She is physically stunning
The material is so so heavy like actually listening to the music lyrics and understanding where she is coming from makes the principal of the album so important
The compassion and humanity you grant Lauryn in this video is so striking to me. Releasing music, making art and 'content creating' seems so cannibalistic to me in a way that I've personally found paralysing, so I can't even imagine what that must be on the plane Lauryn's been at since she was around my age (I'm 23 now and fell in love with her music at 15). I love her for her vulnerability and still love her self-righteousness, despite how wrong she is sometimes, lol. Also, seeing her, Kendrick and Kanye through a similar lens, I think is perfect; How to Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind does the same thing, and that book has completely changed the way I think about black artists. I would recommend it to anyone who loves black art and creativity.
I've witnessed this notion of "tough love" even in my own Samoan culture. Part of it was both having to do and "perform" acts of service to serve the church, and also the abundance of transparency within these church communities - so "appearing" as the perfect (nuclear) family was more important. This appearance of being a 'perfect' or stable family in thw church has lead to many first hand accounts of witnessing "tough love"/borderline abuse - and it was tougher for those families who had "gifted" children, seeing bouts of definite abuse only later to project that trauma through humor and entertainment or worse, crime and abuse.
"spare the rod and spoil the child" and all that, I do wonder if the actual link here is the church, or christian belief more generally. That and dealing with the ramifications of colonialism, I suppose.
Pre-Christian cultures were (and generally are) orders of magnitude worse, and that should be common sense. It helps to deep-dive into history for some perspective. The Mayans literally tortured children before sacrificing them because they believed that kids’ tears pleased the gods. Most pre-Christian cultures killed or tossed aside unwanted or imperfect babies or toddlers. In the parts of the world farthest removed from Christianity you’ll find the most abhorrent abuse and mistreatment of kids: temple prostitution, child slaves, FGM, etc.
I'm mixed and spent my childhood overseas in Asia. Not a ton of american pop culture was penetrating Asia in the 90s outside of Michael Jordan and pop music. I always felt out of place being considered the american kid by my peers, but having no personal connection to america yet outside the stories my dad would tell me. "Killing Me Softly" was a bullet that shot straight through the normal barrier to enter Asia for any music that wasn't a pop ballad. The fact that song opens with Lauryn Hill's arresting vocals is what captured people like my asian mom and on the strength of that she went out and bought The Score CD. And then miseducation. it didn't fix anything but it made things a little better. Lauryn Hill was my first connection to America.
what if we made our communities a safe space for Black kids could come back to rather than a bed of thorns to callous us before encountering racism? just a thought.
Yh what if...but we won't. Our communities bring women up to disrespect the other gender and turn down any men that isn't a thug. We have to be hard and destructive to our community, that's if you want to be noticed in our community. How about just having kids out of the community?
@@sometimes-i-uploadvideos Our communities raise men to forever be not accountable, there's nobody but the thugs. They don't value manners, respect or fatherhood. The women are tired of being strong, tired of dealing with ride-or-die love, violence, and assault from the men who can't fight the oppression they are complaining about if the women suffer. Tough love is a product of seeing these behaviors and trying to beat it out, but it only replicates the same violence that is already evident.
I've always really liked her unplugged performance. Sure it's raw and has some flubs, but it's also very intimate, has a lot of soul and shows a human being getting back in touch with what they love. How many artists today could you put on stage with a single acoustic guitar and have them produce the kind of sound that Lauryn Hill does here? I'm glad she released that record because it stands as testament to the fact that she is a true artist.
This is probably the best love letter I've ever seen. Not that I go around reading love letters, but I bet they're usually not this good. Can't relate on feeling anything so deep and positive ever from a song or singer, I'm a bit jealous about that. No matter how much it urges me now to go listen to her songs, it's no good, I'm not getting a piece of those feelings, lol.
This brought me to tears. I absolutely love Lauren and I’m one of the few who loves the unplugged album. It’s so easy for us to view as a function of the feelings she generated in us instead of a person experiencing her own traumas so publicly. Thank you for this.
it's interesting to hear people talk about Ms Hill tragically. Admittedly, I kinda felt the same way for a while until I started assessing what happiness and success are for me instead of basing it on that which we are conditioned to believe. She reached the stratosphere of the music industry...basically overnight, set records, made millions, sold millions, had the recognition of the industry, her peers, and the artists she admired, worked with the greatest voices of the 20th Century, and when she was tired of it all she walked away and now only does performances when she wants to and can make the music she wants. To be fair though, she still owes her record label a few more albums, but she's not concerned with that until they allow her to release the music she wants, until such time she's literally taken back her power and has much greater autonomy over her music (at least what she performs). To my mind, that's not a tragedy...it's someone taking their power back for self-preservation. I'm interested in knowing though why does her story make you sad?
@@Melanatedaquarian its sad that the music industry destroyed her relationship with music, at least during her brief career. Also that she could have been a beyonce level pop star decades earlier and accelerated the acceptance of black women in mainstream media. I agree tho, she hates the idea of turning music into a product, which to me preserves her artistic integrity. If she hadn't signed a deal she would probably release indie music haha
I think its sad because she actually does seem visibly sad, unwell or unstable whenever she’s appeared in public since her “fall.” She appears like a broken soul. Like she really lost her light and has yet to find it. I was glad she was honest taking accountability for how her daughter was effected but I can imagine the strain they have in relating that her daughter even felt the need to expose that. To not have that harmony and peace with your child/children is heartbreaking alone never mind what she endured just barely becoming an adult woman. So much happened on the big screen under 25. It’s giving the black Brittany Spears but ions more talented.
@@brennangoldman6661 you're so spot on that she could have made so many strides in helping society to see the beauty of darker skinned women and definitely would have been bigger than beyonce - some speculate that had she not stepped away beyonce wouldn't be as big as she is because Ms. Hill would have set a standard. She definitely would put out indie music...do you remember when she "released" Selah, Damnable Heresies, and there was a third one in which she just sang and played the guitar in the studio with a camera set up - that's probably what she'd still do if she could lol
@@MsMizz1 This! And also, her retreat from the public didn't seem like it was on her terms. It comes across as if she was beaten and weighed down by the industry and society, and she had no choice but to surrender. So while I appreciate and celebrate all that she achieved, I'm also sad that she "lost" it. I don't know Ms Hill personally, so only speculating.
I consider myself a successful biracial Puerto Rican woman. I know my parents, especially my dad, would uphold me and go "I wasn't too bad, look how my daughter turned out! Her brother may have a few issues but..." The thing is...I also have issues. I have severe issues that haunt me to this day. The quote at 3:09, "Most black children's first bullies are their parents" was very, very true. It was so true that as a child, I didn't know what i hated more; dealing with asshole kids my age or dealing with volatile mood swings of the two adults who are also suppose to be protect me. It sucked. It hurt. And I normalized it so much that when I told my white MIL just how bad it was, she was horrified. and I still wonder if she overreacted.
So I went to the Apollo on a Grade 10 class trip to NYC from Toronto, tough love personified is the perfect description. The audience went from ripping apart a white woman singing Greatest Love of All to cheering her by the end because she didn’t fold and persevered to the end and smashed it. Straight up my fav class trip ever.
I don’t think I’m even close to watching every single one of your videos FD but I’ve seen a bunch and this is the most heartbreaking one by far. Lauryn’s relationship to music, to the music industry, to her fans, the fans relationship to Lauryn, to her music, her relationship with her band, with her children, etc. it all is so relatable yet devastating in a way.
the day she missed school was the day her class was educated about love, and everything that followed after was her finding out for herself what love was, despite that self-education being misdirected by the people who she has come to love; she probably felt that she missed something when she was younger, something that she hasn’t figured out still - where others, she feels, have a better grasp this was my take after revisiting the album, from just the Intro itself and Lauryn not being present for roll-call never miss class, people!!
I remember as a young man I had a spot in my heart for Lauryn Hill. It was always cool to have a friend looking at my CDs and skip Limp Bizkit and ask Whos this? And we'd just vibe out.
My favorite part of the manosphere arc was when fiq unlocked his latent potential and fired a anti-hegemonic counter black excellence kamehameha at Kevin Samuels. I can’t wait to see what this next one entails
I'm gonna comment the message i superchatted near the end, because i think it's important. FD said "The love we had for her, to keep her going, wasn't enough to make her love us back." And I added, "This is America in a nutshell, folks." I doubt FD knew that he was saying something that could apply to a bigger picture, but that's what I got from that part of his commentary. Hopefully my point about America connects with somebody, because it's pretty clear that's what's gone on for a while, and it kinda goes full circle to FD's point about tough love. As a veteran myself, that shit just hit me different. Take care and have fun, y'all. 😁
I appreciate the content once again, I feel like this conversation of tough love is one that even affects the broader diaspora. My dad is west african and he would constantly preach the need for tough love and in a way I think it was his way of preparing us for the unforgiving and harsh nature that the world has towards black people as a whole. I personally wasn’t the best receiver of this treatment as anything that I was remotely talented at, my dad would impart that tough love and I would eventually lose interest. I am in my early twenties and I am taking my time to heal from this and your videos constantly feel like a reassuring light in my existence. thank you so much
