No! (Remembers manners), no thankyou. I will only listen to Pink Floyd for the next 40 yrs. Get away from me with your new-fangled Tina Turner, David Bowie and Madonna. INTJ
I'm an INFP and if I imagine a world without change and new experiences, I feel suffocated trapped and panicked haha. I need new experiences to feed my Fi, to learn more about who I am xD
I am literally wearing Nike pants that I purchased over 20 years ago, lol. Why would I buy a new pair? I get hounded about this, but in my opinion, if you buy quality clothing and take care of it, you needn't waste time on shopping for new clothes. Perhaps I'm the crazy one, but I hate shopping needlessly.
I have an adidas singlet from when I was 14, I'm now 41 - I kept it, it was slightly too big, but I always wanted to fill it out and look normal. It's okay if that change takes 25 years. Dream fulfilled?
ISFJ here, I completely agree. My wife however decided to throw my 10 year old shirts and stuff away and buy something new that is not high quality but has a good quality/price ratio instead. I'm honest here, I would have waited a few more years.
As an INTJ it is more about that I don’t want the patterns that I figured out and that suit me to be disrupted. And if there is effective change I’d drop these systems in a blink of an eye.
Same. I've basically given up on trying to find new music; because none of it compares to the stuff I listen to which has survived the test of time. I mean, I very much doubt that with whatever time I have remaining-let's say 40yrs; I will ever find a band as great as Pink Floyd. Last contemporary song I heard worthy of adding to my music collection; was about 8yrs ago. I also think the mantra "technique is everything"; is the most important quote in the history of art-though mainly because technique has gone to shit, and no one can paint anymore [I'm an artist]. BUT, if I find something that's better-in whatever field: it instantly gets elevated to the top. INTJ.
That IxxP one hit me haaaard! 4:17 "I'm not respected by the tribe, so I'll just keep doing me." I really don't care if people look up to me or not, I surely don't want people to fear me, but it really hurts me at the core when I realize how disposable I am to certain people to whom I've given so much energy. I tell myself that I don't care what people think and that I don't need others patting me on the back in order for me to do the right thing, but if I'm being uncomfortably honest, I really just wish I was valued. When I am clearly valued, even by several people, it only takes one person to treat me like trash before I'm feeling like trash. It irrationally feels like our world is broken until we all magically learn to respect each other someday. But I know that day's never coming, and that it won't get here any sooner by my moping about it, so what I've found that helps, is remembering the people who really do care about me, and then going to talk to/hang out with them for a while and it helps to put things in perspective. It's actually insane how lucky I am to have a family and real friends I can rely on. Being grateful takes a conscious effort sometimes, but if we're always thinking of what we're missing, we'll always be miserable. To any other IxxPs in the comments who weren't scared off by the above text wall: I want you to know that you're not as much of an outcast loser, piece-of-trash loner that you think you are. If you try for long enough, you'll find at least one person who actually likes, *you*. And what more could you ever ask for honestly? To any IxxJs in the comments who are sitting there appalled at how dumb I am: Please (kindly) tell me what I'm missing? I used to assume you guys just didn't think people were as important or something, but I know now that that was very untrue. I also used to get annoyed when people would worry about having to try new things because that stuff to me has never even been on my radar. My life gets flipped upsidedown like every other week and I rarely think anything of it. I assumed the IxxJ people were just complaining to get attention or something because it seemed like they were making such a big deal out of a first world problem. However, if you guys were actually as torn up about change as I've been about people... solid rip. I'm honestly so sorry. Thanks for reading lol, A likely isfp boi
I'm a (self-typed) jumper ISFJ, more especifically FF Si/Ti SC/B(P). Sometimes I feel exactly how you described, but not in the same intensity and not so often. Because I have some balance between Fe and Ti, this is never the bigger of my problems. I can see clearly what works for me and what the tribe wants from me, so if the tribe asks more than I'm able to do, I just say no; and if the tribe doesn't apreciate what I do, I simply do what I believe is right regardeless. But because my Ne is so weak, I freak out when things are changing too fast, because I take a long time to adapt. So the solution for me and for you is to develop our demons, to do the things we're afraid to do. In my case it would mean to force myself to change things constantly, in your case it would probably mean to connect more with the tribe.
I can relate to ya my dude, Im INTP and I think we have the exact opposite function stacks but we still got some things in common. Just quit my job and realized how disposable I was when I thought I was really contributing a lot and putting a lot of energy into things moving along smoothly and efficiently in a way that other people wouldnt be able to handle at work. My coworkers wrote me a nice card which I appreciated but it doesnt change the fact of the matter that I feel like I wasted a lot of time putting energy into something that I realized other people could have accomplished as well. Even though were kinda opposite, I've always related best with other IxxPs and I really wish you the best!
As an IP, I think "appreciation" is actually more accurate than "respect" in this context. Initially I associated "respect" more with Te, and figured inferior Fe would relate more to the fear of being unappreciated, taken for granted, having no one value, or worse, even notice your sacrifices and contributions. But now I wonder if INFPs and ISFPs can also relate to that. I don't really relate to issues with self-worth though. Maybe when I was a teenager? But I think a lot of Ti-doms actually have a bit of a superiority complex/intellectual arrogance. Maybe the equivalent is Fi moral superiority, but inferior Te seems to worry a lot more about being perceived as incompetent. Maybe it's just easier to Fe than to Te (easier to make them feel good than help solve problems) , but I think people have worth as long as they are having a positive impact in the lives of others and potential within their minds, even if not realized.
My brother is an ISTP and I noticed that, though he doesn't like to admit it, he has a strong need for being respected and apreciated. He wants to be valuable for the tribe. But at the same time, he hates to be normal and always insist to do things his own way, regardeless of what the tribe wants. And he doesn't seem to realize that this two things are opposite. For example, he wants that our mother respects him, but everytime that she asks him to do something that doen't makes sense to him, he refuses to do it. It can be a very small thing, like taking a photograph, but if she doesn't give him a good, logical reason to do it, he won't do it. And our mom, that is an ISFJ, thinks he's being rebel just for the sake of being rebel, just to make she angry, and then she insists to tell him what to do and he insists to say no, because his pride doesn't let him to give in. And because of that my mom makes a lot of "conspiracy theories" about why he's being so stubborn, and he feels strongly disrespected and then becomes even more stubborn... For me, as a double decider, the solution seems obvious: if there isn't a good reason to not do what the tribe wants, just do it. But for my brother, it feels like weakness to give in to the tribe feelings, even in a small, unimportant thing.
I'm an INTJ, and for about 25yrs; INFPs have been my spirit animal-my very favourite type. I also almost married an ISFP. My only advice would be to develop your inferior. The same advice I'd give myself. I know Te's a problem, and I believe it's related to confidence [I for example have parent Te and no shortage of confidence]. The quickest way to develop some I reckon, is to flip that huge Fi to Fe. Boom, people instantly like you. With that feeling of being valued, you can then learn to share your Ti [which all strong N's are good with]...and that's Te. Of course, Te is related to being confrontational; something I don't shy away from [I will fucking step on someone's face and humiliate them in front of everyone-if they piss me off enough-something I did last week in my karate dojo-that's strong Te], but I believe INFPs always will, as they are the type perhaps most likely to avoid confrontation [another reason we're drawn to each other-I believe INTJs verbalise the judgement INFPs feel]. But the sooner you work on it [for most people, I think their inferior begins to be developed in their 30s or even later]; the sooner it can be promoted to something like child status. And the child spot, really is the prime location of the ego. I mean, it's protected, is always innocent, is optimistic and is our source of joy. Joy also comes; from mastery of our inferior.
"I'm not allowed to gather new, so I have to keep overworking the same old stuff." Yeah, I feel pretty called out here. It is a distaste for not being in control of a situation, a need for stability, and what is already known is easier to control. The rub is that I have ambition at the same time and seek growth, so to reconcile I keep reworking the same shit hoping something "new" will somehow magically emerge and carry me forward - projecting into the future informed by the past, but ignoring the current reality. Inferior/Demon Se figures in. I guess that is where being forced out of a comfort zone by others is a blessing.
I'm ISFJ, I find I will get restless once in awhile (3 months) so rather than controlling more I need to examine my sameness and switch it up. Good video, food for thought.
This is THE hardest thing for business building. I have to force it constantly; I think shadow integration (if you believe in that perception) is what helps, however it typically ends up making IXXJ's super paranoid of the new & factoring in all worse case scenarios. Which is a benefit in business. lol.
Ah, this is great! Going over the diffrent types and comparing their modalities through a clear and consice theme is a great format! It is not hyper zoomed in-- wich often makes the information cloudy-- given diffrent refrence points the facts and patterns register much more clearly.
Thank you . This is perfect guys . I’m such a sensitive infj yet I feel like I got thus far in life ( so far) by intjing through it ...surrounded by covert narcissists. I had to think to survive. Now I can finally process the past many years(40) . Anorexia hit me at 15 ... I healed in a lot of ways since then but I just now feel like I am truly getting myself, & my innrchild back . I think anorexia freezes time for infj, infp . Love to talk about it sometime. It’s hard to realize that things will not ever be the same. . It’s hard not to Stilllove my first love. .
Oh god so growing up with a sob story of a childhood I couldn’t stand it that my mom was rearranging all the furniture in the living room and painting walls different colors nearly every month... when I moved out of my house, got settled in, everything stayed in its place for nearly a decade 😂 and then when I’m about to move out and I move a side table or something somewhere else... Oh that looks nice there, why didn’t I do that sooner... ah well 🤷🏻♀️ Even the clothes I buy myself I don’t wear as often as the clothes that have been handed down to me or clothes I’ve had for decades 😆 Just to avoid having to change my style of shoes with trends I will buy multiples of my favorite style, color, etc. so I don’t have to say goodbye after only one shoe lifetime. Btw, I finally got my mom to paint the whole inside of the house one color and despite her resistance she’s happy with it and will not attempt to change it because it cost so much money... she still moves the furniture though 😒 I mean this is embarrassing but literally even the introduction of switching from pads to tampons took my little sister pushing me. 😆 I was terrified of them!
I’m an ExxJ and I 100% see how I spent my life giving to the tribe only to crash big time in my 40s that everything I killed myself doing “still wasn’t enough”! It was an epic meltdown of 20+ years buildup. I have Play last, so I totally see the IxxJ need in me. I love routines and sameness... most of the time. I only enjoy change that I decided on because it’s part of my amazing Te/Ni plan. My Fi doesn’t need to be on board, but it certainly helps. Otherwise, change is a big nope from me. Great video!
Just trying to process this because this is like a therapy session for me... oh Dave hahaha! Burst his bubble Shannon, just knock it over 🤪😄✌🏼. Go beard go!!! I’m always encouraging beards haha!
ExxP love starting/discovering/researching a new thing, hate finishing the old ones. I finally gave myself an order that I don't get to start a new thing until I've finished the old. I feel like a 7 year old having to finish their homework. Hate it, but maturity has made me realize that all that unfinished crap was driving me crazy.
ENFP here and that's me too!! When I have to actually finish something I get all sulky and whiny 🤣🤣. When I do finish something I'm so proud of myself even though it's something that should be expected.
That's so true... someone brought 4 pairs of running shoes home.... waiting for me to try them on... I can't even bear to try these new shoes on. I feel stressed!
I got typed as savior Ne multiple times but they’ve missed that any changes I’ve made are all in attempt to get things back to what I had growing up and the vision I understood at the time. I’ve been working to solidify that picture for 20 years but because of life situations it’s just gotten harder and harder. I tapped so hard into Ne in stress that no one saw my Si and then believed my lack of externalized Si (your typical make that turkey dinner mom) was low Si but it was just the missing Te because I spent literally all my time trying to solve the logical puzzle, without outside assistance, of how to get my kids life squeezed into the picture of all I knew in childhood. I’ve been floundering and I think all I needed was for someone to just tell me what to do (which, interestingly enough I’d asked in my early twenties but everyone wanted me to figure it out for myself.
I isn't change. It is the lack of control, the possibility of losing control, the horrible threat of the chaos escaping...which will no doubt destroy the (my) world!! for everyone (me)!!
Omfg..as a ep I love change.. talking to a intj friend on changing stuff,they looked anxious and green..they are brilliant to give support to..but frustrating..its like wa wai wai WAIT..I'm thinking about it.. then 10 hours later.. nah i'm ok.. 🤬🤬🤬
she kind of did exaggerate that description a little bit. Really I just want to be acknowledged at least as something that's breathing, as in something more than a rock or whatever
Do you guys think this IxxJ fear of change and new also applies to video games and research? For example, I despise losing progress in both areas. It's a great fear for me. It's very difficult for me to lose browser tabs of research that I've booked for later. The same applies in games for that I've invested a lot of time into such as MMOs like Destiny 2 or sandboxes like Minecraft where I absolutely refuse to start a new game when a friend suggests doing so for the sake of a "new experience. I prefer to keep what I have and continue progression. In relation to the material world though, that's a different story. I prefer and live a minimalistic lifestyle for the most part. Data hoarding is my problem. Thoughts?
So this utterly gorgeous diatribe was a supercut of the conversations between my flatmate and I pretty much every day. She's freaking out about change and the lack of control she has over her post-covid life and how much new shit is being firehydranted in her direction (pretty certain she's an ISFJ stereotype to a comical level, minus the nursing stereotype). When I'm not freaking out about the financial insecurity in my immediate future I'm freaking out about how disposable and disrespected I am to the world. Constantly talked over and dismissed, devalued directly as several flavours of minority, and not one single employer has tapped into my potential, just using me as a human computer mouse. And people point out I miss the ones that DO respect me, DO actually take the time to listen, DO see my potential, DO see how hard I work as I simultaneously fight my chaos monkey instincts to cause general fuckery. And I'm most definitely squinting in the studio lights you just banged on over my head...
INTJ here. I absolutely hate shopping for the exact same reason. The fear of going out and and trying new clothes and how new/uncomfortable they will feel on me is overwhelming.
Intj here too. Used to feel this way too. Now I try to make it a goal (time-based like Dave) to get a new shirt/sweater every month or 2. I go to store im comfortable with and only promise myself to browse lol. I usually find something I like, but I have to try it on like 2 to 3 times and check my Fi to make sure I like it lol. Otherwise I'd still be wearing clothes from the 90s.😝
Ne/Ti, and I will not organise anything in my life unless it's my IJ nan or stepdad drawing up a timetable, etc, even then I'll find some way to abandon it and start reading about the Kennedy assassination or something
My ENFP husband does that, without even realizing it, and talking about how much he wants to do something different, but he doesn't know what. Meanwhile, my intj self had a baby earlier this year and I'm dying for some sort of consistency again. Send help.
@@ladybluebell1598 IxxJ style in work, ExxP in relationships, and IxxP in my personal life. So I guess underneath it all IxxP. Weird. And the first and second I listed remind me of my mom and dad. They are very heavily imprinted on me to the point where I cannot find my own identity a lot of the time.
@@august_19 In the past I was typed by Talking With Famous People and many others in a comment section when there was a competition for best MBTI channel (maybe a year ago). I have many videos on different topics. And that was very interesting to see/hear - everyone types me totally different. Sometimes I feel like people just type me their type. And it is a common experience for me where if another is present, I withdraw all of my energy, consciously or unconsciously. I disappear, and they are there. And then they see themselves. I wonder how you might see me
@@DandinXY i suggest you take a look at their older videos explaining more in details what those temperaments are. Also, it will be very helpful to figure out if you are an observer ou decider. Identify your freakouts and what makes you ''loose it''.
Ok so im an ENFP, and i think i figured something out hold on Look i think that the 4 "axioms" of personality, thinking, sensing, feeling and intuition Are actually being represented in the 4 elements If you know anything about astrology, you can see how each function is very similar to the characteristics of each element, air is thinking, fire is feeling, water is intuition, and earth is sensing i think that the greeks were seeing the same thing as Carl Jung, just in a different way
Hi Dave and Shan. I've been watching your content for a while and it's very interesting. I was wondering if you might touch on the subject of sensory overload someday? Is it something that manifest more in some types?
"I'm doing all this work for the tribe, & I'm still not being respected.." "I'm doing all this work for the tribe, & I'm being disrespected." Fine line but a MAJOR difference. ("Thank you" vs. "F@!k you") Where does that fit within your system?
Do IJs change their hair a lot and their style a lot or job a lot or hobbies a lot or is that EPs? I change those those things a lot but when it comes to bigger changes they freak me out (like moving from my parents house or graduating college).
Dave is ISFP. I don’t buy the Sleeper stuff. I’ll still watch and I’m going to watch every video that I haven’t, but this is Gamma Quadra gone down a narrow hallway that doesn’t lead to anywhere but Dave and Shan’s house.
For some reason every time I look at the title of this video it seems to be "Fear of champagne". Is that a Freudian slip? Or am I an ENFJ (Exaggerated Neo-Freudian Jerk)?
I'm aware that this is 2 years late but just in case, I have a question for any IJs here, mainly ISTJs and ISFJs, (or anyone else who thinks this fits them). Why are you so afraid (or whatever) to try new things even when it won't even hurt anyone to try them? One of my brothers will never try anything new, even when it's free and not deadly, I don't get why someone would pass up a chance to experience something when it's not even dangerous. He always says "I don't think I'll like it" which is so annoying, how's he ever going to know if he never tries? I'm not trying to criticize, I'm trying to understand because I'm the opposite, I want to experience everything (unless it's deadly) so that I don't spend my whole life regretting things I never did.
i am pretty curious on why most sport athletes are typed as ESFP and ISFP in most websites, is it really accurate or they're just putting the Se Dom stereotypes?
"Respect" sounds more like De through a Te frame. Though I suppose it might depend on how you define "respect," I see the IxxP with inferior Fe fear more as not being *appreciated.* "No one appreciates all that I do for them and contribute, so fuck everyone, I don't care, I'm just gonna make myself disappear. See how you like living without me."
I get the point of the video, but thought your example was quite poor. Like, "Hey, look at this IJ fearing change.. you know, as a fifty year old who is changing from a massively successful career and wondering how he'll ever top that high point in his life going forward." Literally, this would be anyone. I think your point stands, but this was a poor example to get your point across. Everybody would feel this way in this situation.
