Who told you abroad doesn’t ruin marriages? Divorce rate is very high and continues to climb among Nigerians living overseas. The pressure of the society is real. Mind you the citizens of those countries where Nigerians immigrate also divorce.
Wise one!!! True!! We are too set in our ways. Arrogant back home. Looking down on the poor. Abroad is a leveller. How can a man leave everything for a woman. No one came abroad with papers. We rush in life too much. We give birth to children back home then we leave them to maid servants and tired grandma to look after our children. A lot of us are psychologically traumatised hence our wayward aggressive irresponsible behaviour. Money money money. Most families employ girls from poor backgrounds and use them as maidservants without sending them to school and protect their girl child educate them . This is not done Abroad. The sad reality is we are also one of the countries that pray a lot.
It's not only men that destroys marriages in Nigeria and anywhere. We have good and bad men and women. But everything u people talk, u talk as if only men are evil.
This lady must be a master in getting papers to flee abroad. Went to USA with a visiting Visa. Got there and had baby to give the child citizenship. Then stayed on and and was able to regularize her papers from visiting to working visa. Then she easily got residency papers to flee to Canada. Madam I salute you oh. Sorry about your marriage issues. I pray God will settle u in that area too.
She didn't flee. Nothing was chasing her. Certainly not when she was sent 10K dollars collectively by siblings. Many just change location for career prospects and their children's education. Simple.
He is not a marriage material from the onset. . He got married for the wrong reasons. Thank God for your life my dear. May the Lord strengthen you and bless you and the children mightily. You are a good woman and God will bless you with a man that will love you and cherish you and the children ❤🎉
Yes a rocky marriage in Nigeria will collapse at the speed of light in the US. You will not even have time to go through the pain of a divorce or separation. I migrated about same year as this lady. I can relate with 100% of what this lady is saying. However, it is worth mentioning that two of great people in a marriage could also have the best time of their lives here too.
Women are very good at telling what terrible things a man did to them. They are experts at this. But wait…they never tell you what THEY, the woman, did wrong to warrant what happened to her. When you know all the facts all becomes clear. Always hear both sides of a story!
Any male who leaves his children and also doesn’t take care of their financial and emotional needs has the mind of an enslaved breeder. Men take care of their children and responsibilities….. but males act like child breeders from slavery days and just run away. Sadly some African males are beginning to act as though their family pride and father’s name means nothing to them. So they emulate black Americans who abandon their kids. They forget that such black Americans only have the ex-master’s last name and not their own father’s real name to disgrace. No one cares what smith, johnson or williams does. But Naija last name? No way! We reject disgracing our family name and lineage.
She wouldn't answer a direct question from freeze. The foundation of the marriage was faulty as she said. The guy married her because she got pregnant only. Ask the man's side of the story you will hear a completely different story. I tell you because it seems its only her ex hubby that was the problem of the marriage. I never believe women these women....i tell you.
If you are doing well where you are (I don’t care which country), stay there. For me, America is the best place in the world. I was born here to Nigerian parents, grew up in naija (Ibadan), came back to America after secondary school, went to University here. Started my professional career here in the U.S. It is the best decision I ever made. America has been more than good to me. I have absolutely no regrets at all. However like I always say, wherever you find yourself and God is buttering your bread, please stay there and thrive. If I were in Nigeria and now in my mid 40’s, I don’t think I will leave Nigeria to come and start all over again here in the U.S. That is just my opinion.
Here these Naija mumus and ashawos go again feeling the need to JAPA to another country to try to impress people with theirs! Totally contradicting as always! Next! 🤔🤨
You can say all that because of the big 'silver spoon' your parents handed you by birthing you in the US. Fact is you had an advantage by being able to return to the US while your high school mates in Nigeria could not. You say it is the best decision you ever made like you really worked hard for the US birth certificate that allowed you to return 😅. If Nigeria was so good, why did you leave? Why didn't you stay where you were like you are advising others to do? Until you've been in extreme hardship, don't dictate to people who have. You won life's lottery. Enjoy it but don't tell people to stay where they are when you clearly did not do the same after secondary school.
Does she know how many people from Globacom have also left? Does she know that the Naija she left is not the same Naija as of today? Does she realize she could even have lost the Globacom job now and inflation can also have reduced what her salary would be. Finally, Daddy Freeze himself experienced divorce and his own even happened in Nigeria, not abroad so, the insinuation that abroad scatters marriages is not a given, most of those marriages already had issues and there's no proof they won't have scattered in Nigeria eventually.
There is a lot she could have done to move on in Nigeria. And businesses to invest on. She can be in Nigeria and work for an international corporation abroad where she can earn dollars
@@KateTriumph How many have gotten such remote roles? As a matter of fact, being in Nigeria was the sole reason some lost out on such opportunities. Staying back would have also meant continuing to put up with the perennial issues (things that shouldn't be issues) the nation is still grappling with e.g, the current fuel scarcity.
It is the selfishness, self-centeredness, lack of accountability, lack of discipline, lack of leadership as the head of the family and ego of most Nigerian husbands that usually cause marriages to end abroad. The men are used to doing anyhow in Nigeria so when they get to an environment that does not condone their anyhowness, they are unable to cope.
Very true. I’ve called a woman here and the way the husband was shouting on her. 😂 if she leave now , they’ll say naija women don’t stay married overseas.
You are very right.Nigerian men can be very egotistic and cruel. All their nonsense won't fly here. My husband adjusted here, that's why we cld work the marriage.... Infact I can say moving abroad made our marriage better..
Madam you are very correct any marriage that is not strong in Nigeria we not make it in America or overseas I am a victim of it I was even the one that took him abroad with school that is why I don’t like when people say go home and marry
Seeing fellow men in the comment section being defensive just dey funny. Even though it is a one-sided story, yet she was the one who lived, experienced and knew this man, why are you defending a total stranger when you don't know her/their story? I am here in Canada and can attest to the fact that coming to this western world as a couple without a solid foundation from Naija is a 'lovely' way to scatter that unstable marriage. Also on the flip side, it is a pathway to bond better as a couple. You just have to pick a side.
Some marriages were stable in Nigeria but one party pushes for a move abroad. The pressures of life abroad especially without papers can push both parties to the wall. The financial pressure and blame game can also drive couples apart.
If you must japa without the right papers, No 1 rule-make sure you are not married. No 2 rule-make sure it is United States. Sorry to the lady for her experience, no papers, married, with kids, plus husband wey YOU CLAIM SAY no dey supportive.....d conditions were just not favorable for both of u. For the younger ones that still have dreams of japa, dont put the cart before the horse, ask urself, u wan marry abi u wan japa
I live in Baltimore Maryland n everything she said is true . If ur marriage ain't strong enough from 9ja , Maryland go help u spoil am d more if u no standardized ur foots . May Oghene help us .
She looks like a hardworking lady. I feel bad for her. I would suggest you talk to her husband too. Abroad does not break marriage. What breaks marriage is the new found freedom where some people turn their spouses to table tennis. We all need understanding and the reality that we are in a new environment. Recognize that we are all in it together with a mindset that we must succeed. No matter what, no man should leave his family under such a tough time. There is always light at the end.
She said it all. Their relationship was already strained in Nigeria so no surprises there that the marriage wasn’t able to survive a significant life event such as relocation to a new land with no papers. Even robust marriages are tested after relocation due to the stress of relocation.
You have not lost anything by him leaving you. First, your method of relocation to US was faulty. You are correct, any shakky marriage from Nigeria will scatter in North America. West is not for any lazy husband or lazy wife to come.
Have you noticed that every relationship that didn't work started with an influence from a friend or work colleague, and then it crumbles when the bible says 'Let no man put asunder'? 'Asunder' comes in different forms disguised as friends. Matthew 19:6 - Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put Asunder.
Has anyone else noticed how so many of these Naija mumus and ashawos constantly mention their omonaija proud country, culture, family and heritage but yet none of them even live over there? Hmmm 🤔🤨
People's selfishness, pride, etc scattered their own marriages, not moving to another country. Moving to another country and the sacrifice it takes, and working together it takes, is what shows up all these things in your marriage.
@abrahambiz2353. The man is a Narcissist who intentionally entrapped her with pregnancy to hold her captive. He calculated his moves ahead cos he knew she’s naive.
My sister I am sorry this happened to you but I want you all to spot calling Americans acata!!! We don’t have a derogatory name for you our African brother and sisters. It is very hurtful for us. We love you and see you as our brothers and sisters not any derogatory name.
Lots of marriages in Nigeria would crash if they are taken to the western world. Their value system is not like ours. Divorce is encouraged, even the women are rewarded for adultery with spousal support, child support,etc.
It’s never better outside your country. Anybody living permanently in any country other than theirs has lost something valuable in life, no matter how comfortable he thinks he is over there. At best you can call such a move a survival strategy, and that is understandable. Have you ever wondered why Billionaires all over the world still prefer to live in their countries even though they have houses in better countries than theirs. Why?
When a woman says my baby instead of our baby, big red flag 🚩. This alone makes me wonder what she did to the man to make him run. Women never say what they do wrong. But if you listen carefully, you’ll find out.
Na true ooo! It’s always good to hear both sides of the story. Her husband is not here to tell his side. This woman was probably wicked to him. We don’t really know why he left. We don’t know the truth.
I also have a strong feeling that she initiated the staying back plan which is a common thing. At the end she couldn’t even get a legal status in USA . Even the Canada she’s talking about is most likely via asylum route. A lady this desperate to remain abroad can push a man to the wall
The truth is, no matter how much you try to explain the challenges of living abroad to folks back home, they may never truly understand due to the misinformation spread by certain individuals. I’ve stopped trying to explain and instead encourage those who can to experience it firsthand and gain a true understanding of the experience.
Freedom Nigerian women. Hear word! Culture was built over centuries. Culture serves as guard rails. If you go abroad and try to bring wester culture into your home, you are set for marital failure.
Culture was made by man. The woman he’s with now isn’t better than the Nigerian women. That I can promise you. We need to shift our mindset and realise that it takes two people to make a marriage work not women only.
@@realmaureenoyakhilome Our Nigerian women are the best when they live their culture. No doubt. Culture was made by man. I agree 100%. Think of asking a kid not to go to the rooftop because it's against culture. The kid ignores culture, goes to the rooftop, and falls off. That's culture. Guard rails defined over many years by many WISER folks. Some we understand and agree to and some we don't. When we go against those we don't understand or understand we fall. Simple! If our mothers went on their knees to serve their husbands, maybe historically it showed to keep the marriage. Now you want to serve your husband food with your left hand? FAFO
I'm sorry to know of the pains you went through. Hopefully, she is in a better place now. But it looks like this lady's marriage in Nigeria was just two people living in a house. The man would live the house for days and return and not be accountable to his wife? Was that marriage? Marriage is more than answering Mrs or having children with the other person. Looks like some people just want to be married and care less about being happy in marriage. Yes, no marriage is perfect. But being happy in marriage is what marriage is about and not having someone in the house to call husband or wife. Living abroad doesn't end marriage. Most of the marriages that ended might have been only marriage on paper and not marriage by the principles of marriage. Lets try and distinguish between proper marriages and dysfunctional marriages. Most of the scenarios given on this show that ended were dysfunctional marriages. So we must examine the common denominator or occurrence: dysfunctional marriage. It's not relocating that ended the marriage as it ended as a proper marriage before the relocation. It's the dysfunctionality of the marriage that ended it. Madam, stay strong and carry on. You are destined for greatness. The most important thing in marriage is happiness. If you are getting that; you might want to ask yourself some difficult questions and take some difficult decisions.
Is it easier to get papers in Canada? Hmm, that means if she had given the bloke money to do his paper in Houston, then she might have been trapped, hmm. It seems like she had her own plan to do her paper too, hence she went to Canada instead. Hmm, so both of them were illegal at the time, hmm. It seemed like everybody was trying to find their own way out here, plus there was a lack of trust, hmm! Where is the £10,000 now? And the chap has his own family, his papers, and kids. They question what she would say, who's accountable for it, and what could she have done differently if she could turn the clock back? She knew who the bloke was before she decided to love him and get married to him. The chap felt helpless; it ate into his manhood knowing that the wife could have helped him, hence why he fled. Kokoye are Peutorican and Mexican I think. Birisope means bricklayer.
Your relocating to America wasn’t the cause of your marriage breaking down. If the two of you had resolved to make things work while you were both there (just as you’d discussed earlier on) you would have most likely seen positive results. Marriage is a union of 2 minds, 2 souls. Not, one. Once one party begins to misbehave and lose focus? It’s a recipe for disaster. It’ll just be a matter of time. And that is why emphasis on a person’s character in determining the duration, survival of a marriage can never be overemphasized!Whether overseas or back home, a marriage will ultimately crash, if one or even as we see in some cases, both, partners lose focus. Sorry for all you went through, but I bet it’s made you stronger than ever and more resilient. I can’t talk for you. All the best moving forward. Thank you for sharing your story. I have listened with rapt attention. May God in His infinite mercy, establish you and cause you to be joyous. Always.
I guess you and your ex husband wanted to stay in US without papers. Maybe you encouraged staying back and he opted for 'Akata'. Moving without paper was the major issue.
Challenges are everywhere but there are unique circumstances that wrstern or a foriegn land makes diffrent eg if challenges u have friends famiky even good neighbours but in west u are on your own..but ppl have to be mindful of this ..
This woman was just an ATM to a man, she claims to be in love. You are a very responsible woman with a man that don't care about you but the cheddar you bring home. She definitely earns more than the man while in Nigeria. why it was easier for him to leave his job. Anyway Keleeé Lesson: If a guy is not that into you don't marry him, if you are pregnant already, then abort or suffer similar fate.
But she said the truth unlike some of us that will not be that open but are more than dangerous inside. Even she talks about her baby pooing and the husband will leave the poo for her. So many people will not mention that because they will think people will start saying they want to reduce the man to house maid. But a normal man will do that in Nigeria without any issue because that child is his also.
All this derogatory words for people who work as Carers and for fellow human beings who are of different nationalities ! Common guys, you are educated people!
@@olarichy2000NaijaUSA you stop your ignorance as well. Whatever it means, it’s considered by most Black Americans to be very offensive. So that’s that!
But she said the marriage was already having issues from Nigeria and the character you painted seems like he was never helpful from the onset. From what she has said, there's no proof the marriage won't have also scattered in Nigeria so, it's not abroad that scattered the marriage, the crack has been there from the beginning.
Why can't the untrained husband clean his own child. Liegeria is the worst place to exist as a wife. It takes a kind husband to enjoy marriage as a woman in your lawless Liegeria.
@@user-nx4fk1ly4d I am open to learning any time. I am not good with English writing , but that doesn't deter me from commenting in a platform like this. I still maintain that liegerian society celebrate mistreating women .However, thank you so much , I acknowledge your correction. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I see a lot of red flags in the whole conversation. This woman contributed to the failure of her relationship, which I picked in between the lines. Most ladies, as well as men, focus on their rights but not on their marriage. Her ex, I presume, got tired and walked away. Marriage is not meant for everyone. I also picked a lot of crimes committed by both her and her ex- husband in the USA. I don't think what she was saying may sound fun, but it puts Nigerians in a very negative light.
Why won’t you assist your husband financially regardless of your marital challenges. Why were you crying for someone you never loved when he left? A woman that cant support her husband doesn’t worth living with.
Was that what you heard? Some people need to develop a better listening technique. She was telling a story from her perspective and not apportioning blame. If you need to hear the second side of the story, find the man. She is not here to tell stories from both sides.
This is one sided story … you painted him as the devil himself…. Please I will like to know this devil himself ! Sorry so there is nothing good about him hmmm… Sister 😂😂😂
i am sure this ex-husband that has been labelled as the biggest evil and monster will be watching this shaking his head like wtf, na me dem paint like this
One-sided story. It looks like the husband went there on vacation & not to work. Probably why he wasn’t willing to take up the kind of jobs the lady wanted him to take up. And from what she said she now lives in Canada. I may be wrong but looks like one of those who went to the U.S./Canadian border to seek asylum. Only someone desperate to stay abroad does that. Would be interesting to hear the man’s side of the story
Some of you are so sick! If this was a man telling this story, you will hardly request for the other side! African men have a problem. Some of them don't belong abroad! They feel so entitled!
She is not saying the truth, if he decided to stay in the US why did he not want to work there? However he was working in Lekki without issues? This story does not align well. He is abusive and you are quiet …🧐 you did nothing , but he was mad… one sided story ,she looks aggressive and controlling
@@universalnihi8374It is a big deal. African Americans do not wish to be addressed as such regardless of the origin or intent of the word. If they regard it as derogatory, then we must respect their wishes. They could likewise call us 419. Akata is not the same as calling whites oyinbo.
@@ReeCee4 there’s no AA that can say they were called Akata to their face! Same as Mexicans can’t claim they were called ****** to their face or Chinese claiming being called ****** to their face.
