jimflorentine.com Jim breaks down all the stupid shit people do while shopping. Follow Jim @ / mrjimflorentine Jim's Facebook - / jimflorentine Jim's Butterfly Radio Page - www.butterflyra... Riotcast Podcast Network - riotcast.com
I also worked at a supermarket for years as a teenager. The amount of stupidity I encountered was staggering. Probably the most annoying thing was when I started bagging the order in plastic bags, the moron would say "no, no, I want a bag!". I'd say "what do you mean? this is a bag...". "no, no I want paper". Give me a frigging break. And people that pay by check should not even be allowed in a regular check out lines.
I work as a cashier and he hit the nail on the head with this rant, especially the "it must be free" joke. Some guy pulled that on me today and I just said in a very dry, condescending tone "Dude, you're hilarious". He just went "oh come on", like I was the asshole. Fuck these people.
Spot on! LOL! One of my late uncles used to say a certain phrase with alarming regularity. He'd say, "Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish heads." I never knew just what in the hell it meant. But I just love the way that it rolls off of the tongue.
JF has the same pet peeves as I do. Back in the 80s I used to hate people paying by credit card as well. Back then, cards weren't being scanned, cashier had to check the credit card against a book that had a list of bad credit card numbers and it took a while.
People move erratically in grocery stores. They'll block part of the aisle with the cart, look in another direction, then suddenly walk in a third direction
Those people you describe are mentally defective and should all be thrown none too gently over the barbed wire fence of the closest FEMA Camp so they can spend the rest of their days together with the other mental defectives.
I was in a store at the checkout, and the woman in front of me had £72.00 worth of stuff, when she went to pay she handed over £30.00 of coupons/voucher, The girl on the till looked at them and said these are Tesco store vouchers.... This is a Waitrose Store. You can't use these here! That'll be £72.00 then
And one thing we used to do in the younger days (when we could run fast) find an unattended cart in the middle of the aisle, where the shopper is browsing twenty feet away, walk up to the cart, run away with it 10 aisles away and park it (or somewhere, like behind the bread display in the bakery) and run out the store. Damn those days were fun; wish we could have Tik-Toked that but it was the 90s.
I feel the same way about laundry mats ppl love to spend their whole day in that crap hole they come in with 50 bags and take up all the space ppl suck I do my clothes dry em throw em in a bag and go home to fold em. I burn rubber on my shoes trying to get outta there. Grocery stores and laundry mats are dreadful to go to. I always hate it.
My biggest pet peeve is the one Jim mentioned where they don't bother putting a 6 pack of soda, water container, laundry detergent bottle etc. in a bag just because they're bulk items with their own handles. When I ask them to, they look at me inquisitively with that weird face of "but it has it's own handle". I then have to politely explain to them that by putting it in a bag, it makes it easier to carry with all the other bags looped around the same hand together. I have to then stifle a laugh when the cashier get's that astonished look of amazement of "DUH!! YOU'RE RIGHT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!" LOL
JUst last week I saw a broad write out a check for $2.06. and she stumbled coming up with her own real address. I laffed out loud when the clerk would not let her write it for 20 over. Made it so worth the 7 minutes of hassle.
I'm dying. This is so great! Jim also is right about food & diet. I know this is old but he's turned out to be an amazing Dad too! There are reasons I won't even go in the store with some people.
-People who block an isle with their shopping cart while being on the phone 1AU away from their shopping cart. -People who think it's awesome to have a group chat right in a bend or a narrow section with their shopping carts parked all over the place. -Cleuless couples doing the groceries. -People who put their groceries in their bag after they payed for them, leaving no space for the groceries of the next customer. The cassier scanned your items? Put them into the bag or shopping cart right away! -Walking into an acquaintance. -People who take their wallet out, seemingly surprised, after everything's scanned. -Kids poking meat, cheese, vegetables, fruit,... -People standing in front of the chilled section, you know, the ones with the glass doors, deciding on the spot wether they want cucumber salad or pineapple salad, completely clueless of the customers behind him/her who are waiting for him/her to make his/her life changing decision. -People standing/chatting in the sensor zone of the doors, especially nice during the winter.
Around 18:00 in -- surprising health insight from the Comedy Metal Midgets Podcast! He's absolutely right, aspartame is apparently pretty awful for you with regular consumption.
You can always tell a person is old when they say "on line" instead of "in line". And you can tell a person is young if they try to tell you that "agreeance" isn't a word.
When there's a sign that says for instance a $1.99, and someone asks me "This is a $1.99?" Or when I have to give away free cookies when they're sitting there, and the parent says to the child "What do ya say? What do you say?" and I have to stand there and wait, I don't have time for this shit. The people that give me shit because there aren't samples out, you're in a fucken, buy something, that's why we're even here in the first place.
the store i worked at actually had a policy that if something didnt scan it actually WAS free. and the employees didnt get any sort of benefits whatsoever unless you were in the meat cutters union
I used to give people shit for free if it didn't scan, just to save time. But if they made that tired old excuse for a joke, I'd do whatever it took to find out the price.
I'm sure Florentine knows this by now, but the idea that you can shield kids from wanting junk food is a bit naive. My boss raised her kids on fruit and vegetables but whenever they would go to their friends houses they would have junk food. So when they got older and could buy their own food they went fucking nuts like drug addicts. Teaching kids about moderation and self-control is a more powerful lesson than keeping them quiet in a grocery store.
Missing the point a bit. Kids eat mostly at the house. If your kid is grossly obese, it’s probably because the house is stocked with garbage food. Since kids don’t buy the food themselves, this is something parents have control over
I've always hated when there was hardly anybody in a store especially a big one like Home Depot with a lot of aisles and I'm only there to buy one thing and one thing only and there's someone lounging directly in front of the only thing in the entire store that I want. And they're not taking anything they're just standing there like a statue blankly staring at the shelf. MOVE!!!!
They tell us to make small talk. Annoys the fuck outta me. I worked every day for a week straight, I don't have time to do shit in my life. What the fuck am I gonna talk about.
There is a reason why they put milk in a bag and not water, it's because the milk is cold and moisture condensates on the outside of the jug and so therefore if you put it in your car it collects dust and lint, but the jugs of water don't. But beyond that because of the cost of bags supermarkets are trying to save wherever they can on the bags so that they don't have to start charging you for the bags like they do in California. So they try to save wherever they can. so I agree with everything you said except for the part about milk jugs and water jugs, they're not the same thing
Nick Wilkie, I think you used that line a few times already in the comments here my man, we get it. You should work on some new material. Maybe you could take some of them extra plastic bags you get, and put them over your head???
Florentine is one of those comics I want to like but isn't really funny. His old prank calls were golden but everything else from his is mediocre at best.
"$1,500 Rolex"? where is he finding Rolex's that cheap? I get that he is just trying to be funny but most wealthy people I know are actually pretty frugal. Most big spenders I know are not really wealthy, they are just in debt.
I understand getting annoyed by people taking to much time with stupid paying options. But what do you care if I drink or eat something in the store. Hate to break it to jerkoff but real people dont go from house to the car to the supermarket. That's your gay look at me iam an entertainer lifestyle
Yeah, thought that was stupid. Does he know how many miserable husbands are there with their cunt wives for 2 fuckin hours, straight after work? Also didn't get the divider bar thing. If you don't use em, the cashier asks you whose stuff is whose, or you risk accidentally buying something that belongs to someone else. And it's not an inconvenience to use the thing.
